LOVE: MEETING THE STRANGER THAT BECOME YOUR SOULMATE

I love to hear stories about how and why people come into our lives. The adventure of chance meetings, serendipity, and what 2 people who at one point didn’t mean a thing to each other and would one day become an essential part of one another’s lives.

The interesting thing about strangers is you never really know just what kind of impact they’ll have on your life: good or bad, short-term or long-term, romantic or platonic.

I met this once-upon-a-time stranger at a local bookstore when I was living in the city.We were both regulars – and one day he placed half of a bagel covered in honey on my table next to his. We’ve been friends ever since.

When you make room in your life to let strangers in, you make room in your life for the great adventure of people and of friendship. In my opinion – this adventure is just as exciting, as daring, as capable of helping you grow as the adventures of exploring the hidden gems of earth on our travels.

When you meet anyone for the first time, be it in line at the store, a dinner party you’re the guest at, or in your local coffee shop, you’ll have no idea if they’ll be someone you will later call one of your oldest friends.

You won’t know their history, and they won’t know yours.

You won’t know if  this relationship will out last the hurtles of time and distance and change that all friendships eventually do.

You won’t know if one day thirty years from now you’ll recall that brief conversation with that stranger that magically changed the way you viewed how an aspect of the world worked.

And so today I sat next to one my best friend and we got into talking about all of what’s written above. It’s a feeling I’m sincerely grateful for to be able to look this good friend in the eye who was once a stranger, and to have him look me right back in the eye, and we tell each other we’re thankful that we came into each others lives. For me, only a few years ago he was just a stranger who spent way too much time in bookstore like me, helped me get through some of the most difficult times I’ve ever gone through in my life. And he did that just be being my friend and being in my life. Some people, just be being with them, somehow help you make sense of any mess, help you remember that ‘everything is going to be okay‘, and help you remember what it’s like to not be sad or angry or hurt or scared if at least for a brief moment. And it turns out, that along the way, I was the same thing for him too. We were two strangers that ended up having each others’ backs. Somehow, we both filled a gap in each others lives. And it all started with the simple, kind act of a stranger sharing  half of a bagel with another stranger.

Some people – they just get you, ya know? It’s almost as if you’ve known each other forever. Or maybe it’s more like you don’t need to spend that extra 5 minutes explaining why this or that happened because somehow they already get it. There’s this basic and fundamental understanding there. And that’s what I have with this once-upon-a-time-stranger.

It’s sincere. It’s open. It’s accepting. It’s nonjudgmental.

Each and every person that comes into your life comes into your life for a special reason. The people that put us through hell are just as necessary as the people who help us open doors we never knew existed or we weren’t strong enough to open just by being a positive presence in our own lives.

PERSONAL /LOVE: IF WE WERE TO MET

Sometimes I dream about the day that I talk to you. I would call you up and after we talk..I could not bring myself to hang up the phone or even so much as move it from my ear. The chance that I could hear your voice once again would be  too great a prospec.

And just like the movie, "Somewhere in Time", Ah, I found you." Came a voice behind me. My heart skipped a beat as a smile spread across my face. How do I already know her voice? 'My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of thy tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound.' I remembered the line from Romeo and Juliet. I could not forget your voice if I tried. At the sound, all thoughts of the odd occurrence faded. I turned around to see you walking towards me. I realized when I  first saw you that there was a part of my mind that had wondered if you were real, if I had not only imagined your beauty, but clearly I had not. Somehow, You are real, right down to your ancient eyes. It felt just as indescribable to look into your eyes as it had before. We didn't not making love, we did not even kiss, but the inexplicable intimacy we shared left us wordlessly and hopelessly locked into each other's gaze

I took you hand in mine. I gasped when our skin touched and looked into your eyes in a kind of shocked wonder, my eyes wide. You hand was smooth and warm, a few degrees warmer than it should be, and that heat sank into me, but it was not your heat that made me gasp. It felt like a storm resided within my skin and the moment our hands met, the storm and heat went raging through my veins, leaving my skin tingling and my heart fluttering while also making my blush deeper. It was like heat lightning, flashes of brilliance without sound that told of an impending storm. It awakened something within me, something I did not know existed, and took my breath away. I had never felt anything like it before

“Do you think you might be able to love me someday?" I asked and heard her laugh softly. "I already do." You said and my soul soared. "So this is what the poets write about? This is what they call love?" You asked. "Yes my love." I said softly. "They do not do it justice." In that moment everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot

How do I describe the feeling that envelopes my being when you were near? It is like a cocoon of warmth and peace, but beneath that there is a deep longing, a hunger that one kiss would not be able to satisfy, one kiss would only make the hunger greater. But oh, how I long for that kiss, a kiss that might never come.

Being close to you does things to me, makes me feel things I never knew existed, makes me want things I have never wanted before. I have never desired to know a woman's body before I met your. I wonder if you knows that I desire you in such a way, that I not only want to know your body, but that I want you to know mine. There is a part of me that would not care if you loves me or not if I could just have one beautiful, passionate night with you, while the rest of me knows that one night would never be enough.

POETRY: IN EVERY MOMENT

In every moment
                    Of every hour
                  In every river
                    In every flower
                  In every story
                    In every tale
                  In every trip
                    In every sail
                  In every house
                    In every car
                  In every store
                    In every bar
                  In every smile
                     In every face
                  In every area
                     In every place

                  I search for love



2


The sun is slowly fading
and the night is coming soon
Around the shadow's corner
I can feel the breeze blow through

With each passing moment
I am that much closer to you
Not a minute goes to waste
Nor does anything we do

Every day is like a blessing
each one better than the last
God must really be listening
for he sent you when I asked

Now I know what real love is
and I will cherish it forever
I promise to always be true
and only you will I treasure


3

I still remember the first time we met face to face,
The first time I kissed you and felt your warm embrace.
As I held you so closely I could feel my heart beat fast;
I knew you were real and I was holding you at last!

That was then, this is now, lots of things have changed.
We own our own house, we share the same last name.
But one thing holds fast, refusing to give way,
And that?s my undying love for you to this very day.

You mean far more to me than my words could ever say
For you churn the very spirit that makes me live each day.
Always right beside me, no matter what we do,
It really great to have a wife that can be a friend like you!

You know just how to turn me on and how to calm me when I?m mad.
You know just how to cheer me up on the days I?m feeling sad.
You are my whole world and I just want you to know it...
Especially on those days when I am just too tired to show it.

I can?t tell you what it means to me to share every aspect of our life
And you made it even more special that day you became my wife.
Now today it?s one year later, I love you more now than ever before
And in the years to come I promise to only love you more.

So today, baby, I celebrate the first year of being married to you
But every day I relish the mere thought of loving you.
As I close, I have just one more thing I would like to say
Thank you, my love, for making me so happy,


4

Tick, Tick, Tick..............
Goes the clock, as I watch time
go by, and with each "tick" that I hear,
it means Less Time I have to love You.



5

My love for you is part of me - of everything you see and know
It is not an entity - miraculously bestowed
At a magic moment in some romantic way
A memory of a long-gone day

My love for you is part of me - and I have lived a while
To grow with every sad encounter, through all my joys,
 with every smile,
To be the "me" that now loves you
And be the friend that you love too

So really my love for you is part of me -
 and you can know I choose
To give to you sincerely - this love I cannot lose
Because it's all I am, I hope you see
My love for you is part of me.




6

I can't describe the pain I feel right now
Except as an empty space where my heart's supposed to be.
So secluded in the dark... so alone and helpless;
So free... yet, so caged by emotions that scar my very soul.
What is love but a field of dreams scattered upon the wind
Never to blossom in the morning's light...

My heart... it has left me.

Like the dying rays fading
Upon the horizon, weeping light from my soul.
As each breath delays
Light drifts into night- as life drifts into death.

Upon heaven's battle cry...

Light breaks its shackles and death returns in life...
A deadly cycle turning once again... in upon itself.


7


To be loved is to be hurt,
but to love is to be hurt
and accept it.

LOVE: THE MOMENT YOUR LIFE CHANGED// SOMETIMES WE MEET PEOPLE WHO CHANGE OUR LIVES

There are certain moments when your life changes, it just shifts… sometimes you realize them as they are happening… other times you have to reflect at a future date … looking back to see just were it shifted.

That instant when you make a decision, that one snap call… that when you look back upon in some time hence, you realize that is were it all changed … in an instant whether you realized it then or not at the time.

That moment when you find out you are going to be a parent… the terror, the joy, that “holy shit! WTF am I going to do now?” moment!

That moment when you learn you just got that scholarship, that acceptance letter from the college you wanted to get into…

That moment when life changes…

and you finally decide to put all you’ve got into a business because you’ve finally figured out just what you are going to do with YOUR life.

That moment when life changes and you realize your current marriage or relationship is truly, irreversibly over. The crushing pain, the feeling of failure for so long… then you decide to try to rebuild, but you go through so many losers you cant bare another and you give up. But just days later when you’ve stopped looking, by some seemingly random series of events meet THE ONE online as just as you close your dating account… and you know it instantly.

Horrible things to experience at the time for sure… but in time you look back and see that they were in fact critical moments in time… that for better or worse shaped who you are now as a result, and you couldn’t imagine it happening any other way.

We’ve all had these moments when our life changes ..But the thing is… is we seldom look at or consider all the little moments… the little things that lead up to those big moments.  The incredible chain of events that must have occurred to put us in that place, at that time.

It’s true the people we meet shape us. But the people we don’t meet shape us also, often more because we have imagined them so vividly. There are people we yearn for but never seem to meet. Every adult yearns for some stranger, but it is really childhood we miss. We are yearning for that which has been stolen from us by what we have become.

We are not at home in the world because we imagined it is as we have become, full of nothing but yearning and forgetting and hoping for something so raw we can’t describe it. We think of the world as the place of beginnings and ends, and we forget the in between, and even how to inhabit our own bodies. And then in adulthood, we sit and wonder why we feel so lost.

Our lives, are they written somewhere up there? Besides our parents, of course, we have met people that changed our lives. Persons that defined our character and our ways.  What if you, myself and them made other choices in life? You would've, and we could've had another life, and maybe other kids; the ones you have today would've been just part of a sweet dream from yesteryear. So we keep pushing the original question: Were we suppose to live this existence with the parents that gave us life? Were our cells and molecules, set to reproduce a person like us?

Going back to people that came into the picture, to an almost perfect timing to direct our lives. We are to meet people that will learn from us, as though they were appointed to meet us... even before birth .

DATING: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE MET SOMEONE ONLINE

There's an old saying about people coming into our lives for a reason or a season, but I don't buy it. We invite people to come into our lives because we think they might prove to be good lovers or friends. Just because we find them exciting or interesting doesn't mean there is some mysterious connection or divine intervention at work.

We want to be around certain people because we like their company: when our vibrations interact, they strike a pleasing chord. It's also human nature for us to want everyone to like us and feel affection for us.

Sometimes we get lucky in relationships, and end up truly liking each other. Other times we misjudge someone and project onto them the qualities we want them to have. Then we are eventually disappointed, and feel foolish for investing so much of ourselves in that relationship.

Sometimes our relationships are indeed based on karmic connections from past lives, while at other times, we attract new souls into our experience in order to learn some life lesson.

Right now, it's popular to believe that people come into our lives for some deeper reason, something beyond our simple desire to experience however that person usually makes us feel. If that person doesn't return our interest, we end up suffering and struggling to figure out what went wrong.

With cyber connections, often there is lots of evidence that the other person will be a wonderful partner, right up until the day we meet. If that person then treats us very differently in person than they have online, we naturally become sad and confused by their actions.

We have to accept that sometimes, people looking for love online will either outright lie or simply tell us what they think we want to hear in order to get what they think they want. Sometimes the other person has high hopes and is just as innocent as we are, but upon meeting us, they are turned off by our appearance, mannerisms or a lack of chemistry.

Loving, caring individuals will try to get past that by hanging in there and looking for the positive. Immature, self-centered and insensitive people who are just out for a good time may drop all contact and never see us again if they don't think we're perfect for them at first sight.


We humans often get confused about the whole soul mate thing, so here is a quick run-down:

We do not get just one soul mate; we get approximately five per lifetime. The Universe/God/Spirit does not want us to be without love if we desire it. If for some reason a relationship with a soul mate doesn't work out, we won't be doomed to live without love forever. Instead, the Universe will bring us another soul mate. We are not limited to just one shot at true love in each lifetime.

The second misconception people have is the belief that once we meet a soul mate, nothing will ever break us up, and we'll live together happily ever after. This is so wrong.

The Universe may bring us together, but after that, free will and personal choice take over. We CHOOSE what happens in every relationship, and long-term connections require lots of hard work and open communication.

Just because you meet someone like this woman doesn't mean she is going to choose to allow you into her life, or that she will even choose to allow LOVE into her life. Obviously, this woman has some big fears that have caused her to back away. That's her choice, and since we have free will, the Universe has to allow that choice.

When we meet a soul mate, our minds do this meld thing between the past and the present. Your soul remembers this person, so a part of you is very excited and happy to see an old friend.

Your logical mind knows that you have never met this person before, however, so your head warns you to go slow, get to know her better before giving your heart away, etc. As a result, you experience a constant battle between your head and your heart/intuition.

This individual came to show you that you could choose to fall in love again. You are the one who has been holding love off - it hasn't been staying away from you by itself. Love is an energy that spreads over EVERYONE.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You have now changed how you look at romantic love, so romantic love has changed for you. This person helped you do that by coming into your life.

At this point, it doesn't really matter if she comes back or not. Your heart has opened back up, so you are on your way to new love. I know you think you want her and only her, but if you close yourself off to other possibilities, you will really limit the Universe's ability to help you find fulfillment. Stay open to all possibilities now that your heart is open to love again.

THOUGHTS: THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. This includes every mosquito, every misfortune, every red light, every traffic jam, every illness, every loss, every moment of joy or depression, every addiction, every piece of garbage, every breath. Every moment is the guru.

Those born to wealth, and who have the means of gratifying every wish, know not what is the real happiness of life, just as those who have been tossed on the stormy waters of the ocean on a few frail planks can alone realize the blessings of fair weather.

I’m grateful for anything that reminds me of what’s possible in this life. Books can do that. Films can do that. Music can do that.  It’s so easy to allow one day to simply follow into the next, but every once in a while we encounter something that shows us that anything is possible, that dramatic change is possible, that something new can be made, that laughter can be shared.
 This is a life where we meet so many people of different personas.We like someone, we dislike someone, some are deeply hated by us and some are deeply loved by us too! Some people are extremely compatible that we tend to gel with them instantly on the first talks while some are so rude or introvert that no matter how hard you try, they can't connect to them

I always end up thinking that we meet people just because there is a reason behind it. If we have to meet someone, circumstances turn in such a way that our fate makes us stand right in front of that XYZ with whom we are destined to meet. I am quite sure that you have met that best friend of yours at such a point of your life when there was every chance that you could have never met him/ her. And see now, both of you are sitting at that favorite coffee shop of yours, binging upon the best brownies in the world! Once strangers, now friends!

Have you ever thought what if you have been working in some other work place, or have been to a different educational institution or stayed in a different locality?  Would you have the same persona like you have now? Would you be the same person as you are now? Certainly NOT! It means that people around us not only become a part of our destiny but also effect our personality in some way or the other.

People do have a particular part to play in our lives and it’s all destined! One never knows when he or she bumps into that special someone in the life; it can be on a street, or in a bus, in a plane….

LOVE: LOVE IS LIKE A ADDICTION

I've been in love before, it's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things.You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about her for three hours and forget her for two minutes. If she's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love

I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that i would lose her the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we'd know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left!

 You could only save someone that wanted to be saved; otherwise, you'd be be dragged down for the count, too. There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing -- light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light, In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future

It was so damn hard to find love in this world, to locate someone who could make you feel that there was a reason you'd been put on this earth. A child, I imagined, was the purest form of that. A child was the love you didn't have to look for, didn't have to prove anything to, didn't have to worry about losing. Which is why, when it happened, it hurt so badly

Remember when you were a little kid and you'd fall asleep in the car? And someone would carry you out and put you into bed, so that when you woke up in the morning, you knew automatically you were home again? That's what I think it's like to die

 I want you to want me....and in the end, you either focus on what separates you or holds you together.

I am in love with the idea of being in love. I love the feeling you get when you’re around someone you have feelings for, I love how happy it makes me, I love being able to have someone to talk to at all times, having someone make you smile and laugh. I’m scared of the idea of being in love too, though. I’m scared of rejection, I’m scared of being hurt, and being brought down.

Sometimes, you just have to fall head first and not worry about the rocks below you.Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.When someone walks out of your life, let them. That is what I learned from my divorce. There’s no use in wasting your time on people that leave you. What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, you may miss them, but remember that you weren’t the first one to give up,  I also  realized I was holding on to something that didn’t exist anymore. That the person I missed didn’t exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we could wish all day long that they didn’t, but they always will

I don’t understand how pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

Take a step back. Look at yourself. You are human. You are beautiful. you are so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up or your best friend betrayed you. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time. Don’t hang on to painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren’t worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Make something beautiful and then destroy it. Meet new people. Make someone’s day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to its full potential. Just live. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and just live. And one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

You’re really amazing, and one day, maybe very soon, you will find someone who really means the world to you and you will fall in love with them, and she will love you to bits. She won’t find anyone else like you if she could search the world forever and ever. You will find someone who won’t want to leave your side. She might not be in your life yet: she might have walked past you today, she might have walked outside your house a few hours ago, but one day, she’ll be yours and only yours forever and ever.

Over thinking ruins you… ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry, and just makes things worse than it actually is.

If you truly want to be with a person, listen to your heart and not all the voices from all the people around you.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means accepting things that weren’t meant to be. There’s a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up. You got to do what’s right for you even if it hurts. I’ve come to realize in the end, everyone turns out to be the person they swore they’d never become.

We must see things and people for how they are instead of how we hope, wish, or expect them to be. If it was up to me: there would be less broken hearts and more happy women with guys who make them happy and treat them with respect, background music would play during epic moments of my life, I would tell every girl in the world that they are beautiful since some guys don’t want to do that, everyone would not know of the world “hate,” but love, every dollar spent on war would be spent on making sure everyone is fed, sheltered, educated and receiving medical treatment, I would be able to text God to ask him what steps to take to solve my problems, everybody would stop cheating on the person they love and we will all be loyal and faithful, girls wouldn’t know what make up is, and they would feel beautiful and  I would introduce every atheist to God.

That’s what life is about. Those moments when you feel entirely carefree, like nothing can touch you. It’s those moments that make the hard parts so worth it. It’s moments like that that make this heartache bearable. I know it’ll pass-my moments will come. It’s hard to grow up in a world where you never feel like you’re enough.

JOURNAL : I WISH SOMEONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”  ~Ralph Nichols

 I have been depress these past few days....my dad still in the hospital....work....being alone. The universe has a weird way of working things out in life; things appear or show up for a reason. What appeared for me was a powerful listener. Though this person was a complete stranger to me, I felt connected from the very first day.

When they listened so patiently and intently to my words and feelings—both expressed and unexpressed—it felt so incredible that I didn’t want to stop sharing. I emptied my entire heart, all my fears, disappointments, and pain. I released all of it.

It was a pure, non-judgmental, patient, and empathetic space where I got to express and feel understood and validated. I didn’t get any solutions, advice, or answers. Instead I got thought provoking questions, like “What does your soul really want?” “What makes you happy?” “What are you grateful for?” and “How can you forgive?”

It was this powerful listening that provided immeasurable healing. It was the second time in my life I actually felt like I had been heard, really understood—like what I had to say made sense. I felt important and visible again.

Like most depressed people, I lacked motivation and self-worth. Feeling understood is the most basic of human needs; during a time of depression it almost feels as critical as the need for air.

Being understood immediately shifted my perspective: from feeling invisible to feeling visible, from feeling down to feeling uplifted, from feeling contracted to feeling expanded, from feeling hopeless to hopeful.

It made me rise again and take care of my basic needs. Slowly but surely, I was able to walk out of the depression with the help of powerful listening, which has changed my life forever.

When someone listens to you well, it makes you feel accepted, understood, important, valued and validated. It gives you a voice to help you find yourself again. It reminds you that you are not invisible or alone.

Although we hear with our ears, many of us don’t necessarily listen to what is being said. We don’t get the chance to listen when we are too quickly reacting, judging, providing solutions, and disagreeing, rather than being a good sounding board.

We also don’t get to see a lot of examples of real listening because it is so rare.

So what does it take to be a good listener?

It starts by realizing how important and powerful this practice can be. Also, realize that it’s all about the other person. If you can put aside your own agenda, you’ll be able to focus on really hearing.

That means 80% of the time you listen patiently without interrupting, and the remaining 20% you reflect what you heard and ask questions to get more information about the situation.

When you are an active or mindful listener, you are fully present, not thinking about the past or the future.

The best listening skill is to be non-judgmental. When you judge someone when they’re talking, the other person often shuts down. Non-judgmental listening gives the other person a sense of freedom and acceptance.

LOVE: HOW I CAN TELL IS SOMEONE HAS A KIND HEART

Most people believe they have a kind heart, but once you talk to them...you realize they don't. Actions speak louder than words. A person with a good heart will consistently be kind, caring, compassionate and open minded. How someone acts towards others shows you what kind of person they are. If someone is nice to you but rude to a waiter, for example, they're just putting on a show for you. A truly goodhearted person will be kind to all.

People who have problems with being in an intimate relationship are typically protecting themselves from being hurt, rejected, betrayed or abused—or they just don’t feel worthy of a love relationship. But if I protect myself by being emotionally withdrawn and not letting my heart become emotionally invested in another, I will approach all my potential intimate relationships with a "guarded heart." And if I have a guarded heart, I won’t be able to love—except from a distance—which is why I may be interested in someone who isn’t actually emotionally available for me, someone who isn’t very interested in me, someone who is already married or taken, or someone who is only available for a part-time relationship, such as a long-distance one.

People who are emotionally available, who are open to falling in love, are also able to bond and commit. They are able to express tender emotions and show their vulnerability. They are comfortable with both giving and receiving love, and they have high enough self-esteem that they feel more or less worthy of love. They are givers, not just takers. They feel comfortable with both giving and receiving affection, and eventually giving and receiving love.

People who do not have problems with intimacy tend to be in touch with their feelings and are able to verbalize their needs and wants. They tend to be good listeners, and not just good talkers. They have the capacity and they display the willingness to be there for someone else, to offer empathy, compassion and nurturing to others. Such people are essentially over previous romantic involvements, are not grieving previous losses and are romantically unencumbered—and are therefore available for you.

And emotionally available people (who are interested in creating and keeping an intimate relationship) have time for you. They have the availability for you to become an important priority in their lives. They’re not dishonest, deceptive or misleading, they respect other people’s boundaries and they don’t feel the need to pull away when the two of you begin to feel close and intimate.

Look for someone who fits this description—and avoid those that don’t. But of course that is easier said than done, because a large number of people are very available for a relatively superficial and/or sexual relationship, and they don’t give you reason to doubt their long-term emotional availability, so you’re never going to know until you are already in relationship with them. That’s why it’s wise to keep your heart out of a beginning relationship for awhile, so you can develop cleaner and clearer vision of the person and whether s/he is a wise longer-term choice for you.

Truthfully, you don’t want someone who doesn’t want you, because it hurts too much and it’s so unrewarding. You want someone who wants to be with you, try’s to connect with you, wants your attention, wants to please you and values your happiness. A relationship that does not have these emotions and behaviors creates too much brain damage—or heart damage. 

VIDEO: MOONSTRUCK.....YOU COME TO THE WOLF

SPIRITUAL: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND IMPERMANENCE

Why are we in the bodies we are in, Why aren't I you and why aren't you me. Ever asked yourself the following questions, "Why is that person born into royal family when I am but a lowly peasant". It's impossible to understand the nature of the soul if you don't contemplate such a question. You could've been anyone, But you're you.

An invention is never created using logic, But it always falls into the structure of logic - Albert Einstein

One rule of thumb in Law of Attraction is that in 5 years your income will be the average of your 5 closest friends. If you surround yourself with people who have what you want, you will begin to obtain what you want. And you don't even need to believe in Law of Attraction, all you need to believe is that 90% of your learning is unconscious, you adapt to the habits of the people you see the most, so if you surround yourself with good examples you will slowly learn to do what they do, without even realizing it.

I'm still failing to capture the philosophy, please bear with me. I can identify that the person I was 5 years ago had certain wants and goals, as well as certain fears. All of these things transpired, and I realize that the things weren't what made me happy, the desire for those things did. Because the experiences themselves all had to end, amazing as they were. Even using the Law of Attraction to attract possessions, you'll still lose those possessions when you die.

Once you understand impermanence, then you can really start to use Law of Attraction to your advantage, because you can realize all your problems will go away 5-10 years down the line. By that time, if you choose to subscribe to the belief in Law of Attraction, you can choose to know that you will have gotten everything you want. It's not that difficult to stay positive when you go ahead and remove the pressure of wanting everything right now. You can just know you'll get it, and enjoy the inevitable ride to that place. You can see through your current tribulations knowing that they're temporary and imagining yourself however many years in the future you have to imagine to put yourself in the mindset where all your problems are over.

Then, on top of that, you can know that despite the fact that you'll get everything you wanted eventually, you can't keep any of those things or experiences. But you put up a big fuss right now because you feel the lack of those things. And yet you can't keep them anyways, and it's not like anything will really change after you experience or have them. You won't get to just turn on happy for the rest of your life, at least not if your happiness is dependent on things.

Then you realize the secret to life is to just be happy for no reason. Whether or not you should strive for action, all your actions can do is bring about some temporary satisfaction which will wane eventually. There isn't anything in particular to accomplish to give your life meaning. And that, in a nutshell, is absurdism. No meaning, no point, nothing left to get upset about, nothing left to feel the lack of. Because it's all just a ride and every single person's ride ends the same way. I'm not saying I don't do stuff at all except bask in happiness for the point of itself. It's really taught me to simply pursue things I enjoy doing, and once you get in that mindset suddenly things that should seem like work are not anymore, you can find joy in nearly everything. Even if the task at hand just bitterly sucks, you can still tap into a peaceful state of acceptance rather than add on frustration to an already frustrating predicament.

There are still actions to perform, one does not practice Law of Attraction in order to get something without doing anything. If you use Law of Attraction to get a girlfriend, you might find lots and lots of girls around that want your dick but you still have to talk to them and you're not saved any of the turbulence that comes from a relationship. If you want a good job, you may get great job offers and opportunities all around you but you still have to turn in the resume and do the duties required by that job. Some jobs require work, and while the Law of Attraction can keep the work flowing the work won't do itself.

But keeping a positive attitude makes it so it doesn't seem like work. As they say, do what you love and you won't work a day in your life. This positive attitude works like a snowball, and it builds up until you're excited to get up every morning just to cook breakfast for your shitty kids because it simply feels good to be alive. Things that used to suck no longer do.

People like soulmates because they remove fear from the relationship. Because if you're soulmates, you're meant to be, so there's no way to fuck things up. But I like fear. It's there for a reason.

Dear Soulmate

 Dear Soumate,

Where the fuck are you? Seriously, wtf are you doing? I visit all the local bars and hots spots every week or so and you never show up. I've asked all my friends and family and they haven't seen you. I've searched online and in the news paper but you're no where to be found. I've gone out and obtained a good job and became a doctor. I've learned to cook and clean and be a handy man. I've made a good home that we can some day raise kids in. I've tried to learn as much as I can to be the smart, intelligent person you've been looking for but you still haven't called. I know, women's fashions, computers and I'm a really good listener, I swear - I watch Oxygen just to test myself by listening and repeating the dialogue of whatever show happens to be on. I can carry a months worth of groceries from the car to the kitchen in one trip. I can make it through an entire clothes shopping trip without complaining and we don't even have to try on lingerie. I've stopped watching porn because it is disrespectful to women (okay thats a lie, but I really did try - that is a lie too but I thought about it). I'm pretty good about saving money. I love to go on trips, especially cruises. I love the beach, although long walks kinda suck because sand is a bitch to walk in. So if you're out there I could really use a sign just to keep my hopes up. Something simple and subtle like a rose petal on my front porch or you lying naked in my bed.

Sincerly,

POETRY: SOMETIMES I FEEL YOU

I am the prelude to a tender kiss
The cadence of your heart's beat
The shallow breath of your soul
The illumination where darkness dwells

I am the melanin of your skin
The celestial innovator of love within
The laughter of inhibitions free
The clarity inbred in life's mysteries

I am the echo of your sorrow's cry
The lingering essence of days gone by
The breeze that has tasted your tears
The mellow vibes that dissolve your fears

I am the massive layers lifted
Restlessness soothed
A peaceful rendition of unsung grooves
That sway to the spirited rhythm of the wind

I am yours...


2

In the pale blue light
You are there, illuminated
In late evening warmth
A fresh glow from
your softness
In fragility of the
lateness, starlit sky
In that blue irradiance
Your darkness is
compelling, dreamy
In thoughtful play
under the sky's caring
watch
A sweetness in your touching,
loving
In fragility of needing
in that calming blueness,
stillness
Your loving is complete,
surrendering to my
thoughts
My desires, needs-
to play in dreams
A wholeness, a freshness
in your fulfilling
sensuality
In fragility of love


3

Sometimes I feel you,
All around me,
EVERYWHERE.
Your warmth touches me,
reaches within,
to the depths of my swollen soul.

I look around;
Your presence is so strong.
My heart is so open to be hurt.
I look again hoping to turn,
and see your eyes looking into my own.

But I am left alone
with just the wind...
blowing through my hair;
Playing jokes on my heart.
You aren't here anymore.



4

Ever since the day I met you,
I could see your beauty
Trapped within your heart,
Because no man did his duty.

No man has showed you,
Just how much a woman's worth.
You should've been treated as a queen
Since the blessing of your birth.

They've taken you for granted,
Hurting you deep inside.
They never cared if what they did
Made you start to cry.

They didn't show respect
For the beauty inside of you,
And made you think less of yourself
Than you ever used to.

They didn't understand
The pain within your heart.
Oh, how much you must have hurt,
While you're soul was torn apart.

But I've seen that pain,
And I share the tears you cry.
I've been there just like you,
When you really just want to die.

I've looked into your eyes,
And seen inside your soul.
I've seen such beauty there,
Within the things it holds.

I know how wonderful you are,
And I can't wish for anything more
Than just to hold you in my arms,
And stop our hearts from being sore.

You'll never have to worry
About having your heart scarred again.
I'd never hurt you like that;
I've seen that horrible pain.

I'll treat you like the queen
That I know you are inside.
Never will you hurt;
Sad tears you'll never cry.

I'll commit myself to you,
As you've never seen before,
Because I'm a real man,
And I could not ask for more.

It would be the biggest honor
To be able to feel your love,
To hold you close to me,
What more could I dream of?


5

Because of you
I can no longer sleep
Because of you
I can no longer think straight
Because of you
I cannot stop smiling
Because of you
I can't catch my breath
Because of you
My heart will keep beating
Because of you
All of my sad days are gone
Because of you
There will be no more tears
Because of you
There will be no pain
Because of you
I will live on
Because of you
I know the passion of a kiss
Because of you
I know the tenderness of a touch
Because of you
I know the feeling of a caress
Because of you
I know the meaning of love
Because of you
I understand the meaning of always and forever
Because of you.


6

I tread the golden paths
with thoughts of you in mind
I walk through the fields
with footprints left behind
Rivers of tears
flowing down my cheeks
This concrete joy
you make me feel

I look at the clouds
and you're ascending high
I lay down my heard
and you juggle my thoughts
Our souls entwined
and grounded in peace
As our heartbeats
became synchronized

I peep through the window
and see sparkles in your eyes
I listen to the wall
and heard your giggles and smiles
Your words and dreams
still gladden my heart
Our destiny revealed
is so indelible in my mind



7


Lace and rose flowers
Delicately covering your soul
A thin veil of perfection
Gateway to your dreams
Beautiful in their woven fabric
Nature's weave, in softness

Lace and passion
Floral fantasy, unraveling
Peeling back the fabric
Fragrance in frail flowers
Revealing longing need
Nature's weave, removed

Lace and fulfillment
Frantic movements, abandon
Life receiving, giving
Breathing in the fragrance
Of roses and love
Fantasy and togetherness

Lace and comfort
Pulling back the fabric
Lying as one
Beneath fragile beauty
Flowers and the fine weave
A final embrace


8

Before I met you, I never knew how much pleasure could be derived

   from the simple things in life

You have restored in me strength, joyfullness, and a love for all

I realize that we both will be forced to sacrifice for each other

   as well as the other vital parts of our lives

But for you my darling, I am willing to make that sacrifice

And if someday we must part, I will not grieve

For I will know that we shared something precious, that should

   be cherished and treasured for the happiness it provided

   and not the sorrow it left behind...




9


I lie beside you,
Watching you while you sleep,
Watching your silent face,
Wanting to kiss your solemn lips,
Wanting to wake you and tell you,
I have always loved you,
Wondering if you feel the same way too.

I lie beside you now,
Knowing you love me,
Knowing you care.
Fearing the day you will leave me,
Fearing the day you won't care.

I will lie beside you forever,
In your dreams,
And during the night,
Knowing that you will be here,
Lying beside me.

LETTERS: DEAR SOULMATE

 Dear Soulmate,

To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect

What is pathetic?

Is it believing in happy endings? Is it having your hope renewed after watching all those movies? Or is it simply hoping, even believing, within the depths of your heart -- that part you desperately try to hide and uselessly hope did not exist -- that one day love will happen to you?

Honestly, pathetic does not seem to capture the misery of waiting and hoping that it's the next person you bump into; that all the heartache and the embarrassment and the loneliness will be worth it soon.

Maybe that's what our parents and teachers should've taught us from the very beginning: how to deal with lost hopes and false expectations and realize that those movies always lie. Even when the story resembles your own, it's all still a lie because in the end, the girl will ultimately find her guy, and in rare cases where she doesn't, she is happy with it (unless of course it's a horror movie and the girl dies). They should teach us how to cope with the reality that we don't have either ending; that sometimes all you have is you and your misery and the mundaneness of a life that you will probably have for a long time, if not for always.

The worst part is even after all this, I still don't have the strength to stop waiting and hoping. Some people are born to be happy. I am born to wait.


Love,
your Soulmate




Dear Soulmate

I am traumatized by many heartaches so whoever you are please be careful and tender with my heart. I only want nothing but true love. So please just love me right and fair. That’s all I ask of you.  I don’t want tears. I only want happiness being in love with you.

Is that too much to ask? I hope it’s not because you’re my only hope. And if ever we do meet and be together promise me a love that’s only love and nothing else. Love is all I want so please give me only love. Thank you and see you soon…

Every happy day is a hard day for me. I can only think of the time when I can share my life with you. I don't spoil many people and it's been a while since I let someone spoil me. I wish so bad that you were here. I wish so bad to make you laugh, to kiss you, hug you, make fun of you, fight with you, make up with you... I wish I could give you all of these poems that I been writing, but I can't, I don't know you. I just know that you are alive somewhere and that you belong to me. I'm not like every other man and I can't settle just for a good woman. I need you. I need you to hold me and love me. I need you to challenge me and disagree with me. I need you to love me for who I am, not for an idea of who you want me to be, but for who I really am. I can't wait to have you in my life and share amazing moments. I want to offer you all of me and treat you like a king. I want us to make each other happy. I want to make love to you. I want to unleash all of the man that I am, but just to you and only you. I'm waiting for you. I already feel like I love you. Maybe because I know how much I will. But I'm tired. I'm tired of dramatic and painful relationships, and I'm tired of shallow and circumstancial relationships. You know who I am, right? You know I'm not perfect right? You know I'm wonderfully imperfect, right? Please come to my arms, they ache with nothingness, emptiness, purposeless. They long to hold you.



Dear Soulmate,

Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my entire adult life. I am writing this so you will know that I am not giving up on my search for you. I know you wont give up on me either. Sometimes I wonder if we may have already met, maybe in passing. We might have even had a moment of recognition and realization, but we were so busy in our daily lives that it became a passing thought. A look and smile and nothing more. Other times I feel you are probably out there just wondering when I will drop into your life.

No one seems to believe in us anymore. No one believes in true love anymore, especially that magical kind-of love that you and I share. You know my heart has some bruises around it too, but the wounds don't penetrate deep enough to still my heart, for it beats to love you. Please be patient with me though when we meet because it may take me some time to completely open up to you. You and I both know it will be worth while in the end. I have had some disappointments in love as I am sure you have too. Finding you has been a long, hard road. I have taken several paths and wrong turns. There have been many ups and downs. I have met some wonderful people though along the way to finding you. I have made a lot of friends. I have met a lot of great individuals and then some not so great. We both know that for the majority most people are decent. I am glad you have been so dedicated in your search for me, as I have been with you. I am also glad that your belief in "true love" has never wavered. I know you have a lot of faith in God, as I do. Because God is Love.

I have to tell you something, and I know you will understand, as you may have faced the same on your journey to finding me. I did get married, and yes divorced. I guess along the way to finding you I got sidetracked, and being immature, I married out of desperation. The search for you has been long, and I wasn't sure that I would ever find you, so I settled {for a moment}. I know you mirror me and you take commitment to heart. I tried to make the most of my mistake and really stick it out, but in the end I couldn't give up on you. I will give my ex the respect and dignity she deserves though just us together wasn't good. I know you believe in marriage though and take those vows seriously, as I did and do. You know I did try my very best as I will with you. I know in my heart though that with us it wont be quite as hard, marriage is hard work but your heart has to be in it. With us it is true and pure and we will fight to keep our relationship deep and we will have a wonderful partnership. You will be my best friend and I will be yours. We will have the same beliefs and a great love of life. I believe my failed marriage was a life test and there were lessons to be learned and I have learned, as I know you have too, if you found yourself where I was.

I really miss you, can't wait to see you and find you. I can't wait for the opportunity to look into your eyes, feel safe in your arms and know I have finally, FINALLY found you. Until that day just know I am searching for you as you are me and I will never give up on you, us or true love.

-Waiting 

LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate,

Thank you for existing. Without having met you yet, I can tell you that you make my life better in every way possible and I that I love you more than I can put into words.

Thank you for getting through all the awkward moments I no doubt caused because of how nervous I felt around you in the beginning. Thank you for shattering the wall I know I put up, being patient with me, and making me trust you enough to be able to let you in. As you are probably already aware, letting someone in is a big thing for me, and I know you must have had to really push through to get to that point with me. Thank you for slowly letting me know that I can come to you with anything and letting me cry on your shoulder, vent about every small thing in my life, and scream with joy over the good things.

Thank you for making me laugh so much and enjoy life so much more. Thank you for laughing off a lot of the silly things I do and making me love myself more because you love me.

Thank you for dealing with my crazy family and somehow wanting to be apart of it. Thank you for proving to me that you will stay through think and thin, way past the point where anyone else I've ever loved has before. Thank you for accepting my flaws. In return, I promise to accept all of yours. Actually, I know all of your flaws will make me love you a little bit more.

Thank you for letting me show you a different side of myself than I have ever shown to anyone before. Being the love of my life, I'm sure you know that I show different sides of myself depending on how I feel about the people I'm around and the situation I'm in. Thank you for understanding and embracing my good and my bad traits and being comfortable enough to show me yours.

Thank you for fighting for me when I start to have doubts and try to walk away. Thank you for making me feel that I deserve you.

Thank you for making me feel handsome and reassuring me when I start to feel bad about myself. Thank you for getting past my insecurities and somehow instilling in me that you will love me no matter what. Thank you for making me have a renewed passion for living simply because you're in my life and you love me.

Thank you for standing by me whether I'm right or wrong, and occasionally getting me to see why I am wrong. Thank you for exposing me to so many different things that I never would have known without you. Thank you for showing me a new way to live. Thank you for making me a better person and lifting me up to a higher place instead of dragging me down to a lower one.

So many of the things that I do would not every be possible without you by my side. You make me a better and stronger person by simply being in the room. You are my anchor in stormy seas, and I hope I am the same for you. I am sorry if I don't show you or tell you enough how much I love you and how much you truly mean to me, but know that you mean more than the world to me and I love you from the bottom of my heart. If I can say this with complete certainty before I've ever met you, just think how much I will mean it after you're in my life.

You are truly a special person. I know that without a doubt and I haven't even met you yet. I can guarantee that we are going to have those moments that we have huge fights and possibly even feel like we hate each other, but I know that we love each other enough that we will come back together and our disagreements will make us stronger.

Though I don't know where we'll meet, what you look like, what you're passionate about, or how many children you want to have, I know that somehow everything will line up for us and we will complete each other like pieces of a puzzle. There's not a lot I am sure of, but I know I can promise you that I will love and stand by you completely for as long as I am breathing no matter what happens with either one of us in this life we will share. You are in no way perfect, but you are in every way perfect for me. I can't wait to find you and start living this life that is ours.

Love,

LOVE/JOURNAL: LOOKING BACK WITH INSECURITIES

 When two people find enough in common and interest to begin dating one another, they both bring with them the cumulative experience of their years. They, of course, bring the good (their likes, adventures, and beliefs, etc.) but they also bring with them the bad (their shortcomings, prejudices, and obsession with Pokémon cards). And though both people may not bring an exact mixture of good and bad things to the relationship, every thing that makes each of them who they are has a direct impact on this new relationship. One certain component that can have the greatest influence on a relationship—romantic or not—is the insecurities each of us possess. And yes, we all have them.

Insecurities come from a place lacking in confidence. We may feel that we’re too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too whatever. Or we may feel that we’re not smart enough, not coordinated enough, not good enough, or just not enough period. Whatever it is that makes us insecure in who we are or how we look, feel, or act comes about because we’ve allowed ourselves to accept those shortcomings into our life. We’ve developed an opinion toward a certain part(s) of ourselves (or sometimes our whole self, sadly) that isn’t as healthy as it could be, and that bleeds insecurity into our lives. But being or feeling insecure doesn’t mean that there’s necessarily anything wrong with us. It only means that we feel we fall short in some areas. And while it isn’t healthy to obsess and focus on these “shortcomings”, it is good to keep a realistic view of ourselves instead of just assuming that we’re God’s gift to the human race and everyone should model themselves after us. Honestly, I’d prefer to acknowledge my failings instead of being ignorant to them.
Most of us know that a romance, a relationship is a balanced infrastructure with many moving parts. It’s basically two people with similar tastes, ideals, and goals somehow finding each other in this great big, nauseous world and then hoping against hope that they’re also attracted to each other in a romantic way. And even when those two people do find each other and decide to give it the old college try, they still have to get along and hope one of them doesn’t screw up bad enough to ruin the whole thing.  Do we really realize just how difficult all of that is to accomplish?! It’s mesmerizing. And yet, through all of that and once this couple has settled into the routine of actually being a couple, they’re tasked with the responsibility of giving of themselves to this other person and relinquishing a focus that has rested solely on themselves up ‘til then.

But what are we to do when our insecurities begin to worm their way through this new and fresh thing we suddenly cherish and affect us in such a way that they begin to take a toll on our relationship? How do we keep our insecurities from ruining this thing that we’ve built and want to hang on to?


Being insecure is nothing simple to deal with. It can weigh us down and it can hurt our sense of self. But if we choose to share these insecurities with our partner, we can begin to work through them and hopefully become more secure and confident in ourselves. Sharing ourselves with this person we trust is that first step in that right direction.

When we do fall in love and it leads us to disappointment and regret, bitterness can find its way into our hearts. In fact, it can happen so seamlessly that we don’t realize it’s resting in our heart and mind until its effect has already taken hold. It’s when we focus on how much we gave to that love and how much we lost because of it that our loving heart can become iced and unforgiving.

This can be caused by a litany of things, but honestly, it doesn’t matter how our love was served back to us or how we were left broken because of it; all that matters is that things fell apart and now we’re untrustworthy of love and the potency it holds. To us, all that matters is that we’ve been burnt by love and it doesn’t seem wise or healthy to try again. I’ve felt that way and you’ve felt the same (probably but hopefully not).

What we have to remember and hold on to is that love—and all the good and bad that comes with it—can be worth us taking another chance at it. It may not always feel like it and that bitterness may have tried to make a permanent home within us, but fighting and healing through all the bad that has befallen us because of love is what it takes to be complete as a person.

We may have been cheated on, lied to, abused, or taken for granted, but beyond all of that, it’s our responsibility to remember that not every experience will mirror the one we had in the past. Love is capable of making us whole and happy. Do we have to be in love or in a relationship to be those things? Absolutely not. But if lasting a relationship is what we want deep in our heart, then it’s time to give love and all that it holds another chance. It won’t be easy and we should forever be cautious about who we give our love to, but choosing to move past our old pains and problems is the first step in finding what we want for ourselves and for our lives.
 
Ever so often, I take a small moment to look back over the last few years of my life. I witness again the heartbreaks and the triumphs, the losses and the lessons learned that made me who I am today. During these deepened explorations of my past, I do my best to deduce the reasons I made the mistakes I did so that I can keep from making them again in the future.

As I practiced this exercise a day or two ago, I focused on my sexual sins, wondering why I allowed my morals to decay to the point where I found myself wanting to have sex immediately.. At first, it was easy to brush past these instances as the result of a basic human desire to feel a release with another; to blame it on my manhood and the cravings we men sometimes feel. But then I surveyed the time in which these shenanigans took place, and when I finally brought focus upon the type of man I was then and what all transpired to make me that way, I realized that my sexual conquests weren’t a result of some simple appetite for satisfaction, but rather a deep and yearning desire to be wanted.

During these my younger years.. I was shunned by so many woman...., I felt like an outcast. Gone were the times of acceptance and love. I had marked myself as one unfit of the kindness of woman that I wanted.The result of this was my becoming—of my own volition—a man who needed to feel that he was wanted by someone, by anyone. I was unhappy with my situation and how I was seen, so to rectify those feelings, I sought the company of women who wanted me; who promised to fulfill me. In those times of loose morals and empty wisdom, I found myself participating in acts I knew were wrong, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to be wanted and that’s what I was getting—for a few fleeting moments anyway. Looking back, I can see that I was simply searching to replace those feelings of love and acceptance I once felt from my loved ones, and I was doing it any way I could.

These days, I’m proud to say that my happiness has returned and I no longer look to substitute feelings from less-than-acceptable places. I may not always have the approval of those in my life, but that means very little to me now. I work to please only God, and if someone else doesn’t like the man I am because of it, it doesn’t bother me.

And that’s where I fell short back then. I ached so badly for the acceptance of those around me that when I didn’t have it, I attempted to procure it from those who I knew would provide me some small sample of what I needed, even if I was losing my soul along the way.

The truth is that though we want to be wanted (by family, friends, lovers, etc.), it takes being happy with our own selves and without the approval of others before we can truly be whole. Otherwise, we’re running around, searching for acceptance and replacement feelings from those who would only use us and then disappear, leaving us with broken hearts and aching guilt.

Without our own, self-gained happiness, we’ll forever be without the balance and wholeness that self-acceptance brings.



 I can’t help but notice a startling pattern in nearly every single example of my past relationship of my commitment. And though the common thread was one I hadn’t noticed until now, its existence somehow didn’t surprise me. It made sense and it explained the path each of those relationships took to their own demise.

In all but one of my relationships, I had settled for a person who less than what I truly wanted.

Each woman I committed myself to (for however long a time), they all lacked something I inevitably needed in a partner (the likelihood that they settled on me first is not lost on me). Examples of things I settled on range from the differences in our faith to her personality/sense of humor being somewhat dry and cumbered and not meshing with mine to her not being pretty enough for my taste .not being submissive enough.. Regardless of what I settled on, the fact that I did settle hampered my relationship from the very beginning and left us building something on less-than-solid ground. Ultimately, each relationships failure can be traced back to those concessions, and as a result, the failure of those relationships is on me and my conscience

In reality, dating, in its origins, was a way to progress toward marriage. You met someone and you liked them, so the two of you dated and if things worked out, you got married. Now, things are all construed and upside down. The term “dating” means a thousand different things to a billion different people. But whatever your definition of dating or what your endgame is, settling or conceding something you want from a partner puts your relationship at an immediate disadvantage. You’re having to ignore the absence of something you miss or the presence of something you wish didn’t exist. It’s a tough hurdle to get by or see through. But then again, some would say that love can conquer all.

When you’re considering dating someone while getting to know them, do yourself a favor and refuse to settle for someone who is less than what you want. Really, you have the right and privilege to wait for as long as you want. After all, your happiness is what’s at stake. But for woman who want kids and marriage..there is a time limit..they can;t wait forever.

Could some of my relationships have survived my settling? Maybe. Did they? No. So when I see that one of the deathblow issues was my conceding something I wanted and needed from a partner, why wouldn’t I correct that mistake in the future?

Your life is your own and you’re free to do as you please. But don’t settle. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be satisfied and you deserve to be fulfilled. Why not find that with someone who you don’t have to make a concession for? Hold out for something better. The result is eternally worth the wait.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER: I LOVE YOU

Dearest Love,

I've never kissed you in Times Square on New Years.
We've never ridden a Gondola down the Venetian canals.
We've yet to stand in the brilliant glow of the lights from the Eiffel tower.
We've never tangoed in a Spanish Square.
I've never run to you across the airport terminal to jump into your arms,
And you've never named a star after me.
But you are the one who brings hope to my New Year.
You are the one who carries me through troubled waters.
You are my light in the darkness.
You are the dance that beats in my heart.
You are my home each time we embrace,
And I want to be with you past the stars, beyond the galaxies,
And into eternity.


I truly believe we were meant to be, you and me.
I was yours from the moment our eyes first locked. Like a bolt of lightening you struck my heart. Time cannot fade that precious memory. With every beat of my heart I want you more


It is with unrequited love that I write this letter. Love to you, my dear, must be expressed in an abundance of words and alliterations. For you, my dear, are the personification of love; and a women without words can be likened to a man's without clothes 
I beg you to indulge me in your lust as I put forth my humble weakness of words to embolden to sway your heart.

My Little Dove,I miss the quickening of your heart and the fluttering of your eyelids. As my arms firmly embrace your flesh, I remember how they rest so perfectly on your little waist and luscious hips.I close my eyes and draw you close savoring the quickening of our spirits... Then afterwards, I delight in your perfumed scent like a royal rose beckoning me back to your bosom. I now bury myself in my pillow, missing you, missing the fragrance of your love. Return to me, and I promise you words always. No longer will I just bring you flowers, but I will say, "How can I compare thee to a summer's day?" No longer will we just dine out, but we will feast and gorge ourselves on each other. You will always be my favorite repast. No longer will we just walk together, but we will stroll engaging in conversational tidbits of ourselves like morsels of chocolate and petitfores.

I promise to protect you, my dove. I have the wings of a mighty angel to shield you and hide you from the strife of life. I will provide for you. The bounty of the earth will be yours; you will want for nothing. I will be a loyal lover all of my life or you may pluck out my eyes for I only have eyes for you.

I love you
From the depths of my heart
Every fiber of my being
I love you
I would gift wrap my soul
And place it at your feet
I would surrender to you
My every possession
If faced with losing a limb,
Or losing you
I would be a cripple
The rest of my life
Just to keep you
Instead I am merely
An emotional cripple,
For I ache to possess you
As you have captured me
Helplessly pining for you,
I wait for the day
When your name
Is but a distant memory
But, meanwhile...
I love you.


Words can not express the love I'll always have for you, but on these pages my heart I give to you, my soul eternally yours. Each corner of my mind echoes your loving voice and gentle laugh constantly when you are afar and my eyes long to see you and only you.

DATING: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" >>TO ALL THE WOMAN OUT THERE

The truth is indeed unacceptable to most women . Women continue to delude themselves into thinking that a man’s desires in a relationship are the same as hers. “If I’m attracted to strong and independent men, they must be attracted to a strong and independent woman like me.” Nope... It’s remarkable but I wonder how many women resist or reject such advice because of feminist, ideological grounds (“it’s wrong to make a man feel good”)  or their own sense of fabulousness causes them to stick their heads in the sand.

Women simply want to marry someone they’re attracted to.Instead of being told that few women will get an alpha, and that few women will marry someone for whom they feel intense passion, women are instead told not to “settle” and not to be with a man unless he makes her heart go pitter patter right off the bat.

Women should be told that most everyone ends up marrying someone who is about their equal in attractiveness. They should be told that their attractiveness declines with age, because beauty/fertility are so strongly linked. They should be told that for most of them, it’s unrealistic to marry their “ideal man” and even if they did, he probably wouldn’t be the most stable husband. They should be told to look for a man of strong character and solid faith, and that chemistry can grow if there is a small spark at all. Have high ideals, but about the right things. Have high ideals, but be realistic!

“There is no man in the world who is going to be fooled into thinking that you’re worth more because you’re playing hard to get.”

I have come to take a girl that doesn’t put out on the first date as nothing but an insult, The willingness of girls to slut it up for the few alpha’s that are fucking all the girls out there. It is an insult to me, if she protests to sleeping with me, only because she is looking to being a reformed slut and wants to settle down. Chumps and Beta’s fall for that.

At some point in a modern girls cock carouselling will she realize that she cannot coral one of these alpha’s, and she will seek a ‘nice man’. Of course you know that when a girl says she wants a nice guy, she wants an alpha to be nicer. She still will never see the vastly overwhelming hoards of nice men out there, and will not acknowledge it, even when you show her the evidence.

I tried explaining this to a girl last night, she told me that her friends  I don’t know one decent guy. I told her, it’s because you are attracted to assholes, you don’t register nice guys, because you like the guys who have options, and guys with options tend to be assholes, well because we can. She didn’t believe me, she actually called nice men unicorns. Even when I said I was friends with a lot of nice guys, the next words out of her mouth exposed her, and her little hamster didn’t even know what was happening. “Are they good looking?”

If you know me, you should know that the talk was over right there. I don’t react to those comments, but any girl that even jokes around about whether my friends are good looking, on a first date with me, has shown absolutely no respect for me, and deserves to be treated either as a pump and dump, or in this case, a hasty ejection to the confines of my harem. But it also proves my point. Girls expect good looking men with options to basically act how we want girls to act. Sweet, kind, and not jumping from partner to partner, but more importantly, obedient. Girls sexuality and sluttiness is now so accepted they are trying to demand the few in demand men to not act on their biological impulses and treat them like ‘ladies’. But why would we?

We all know girls make no cognitive sense, and the hamster wheel spins out of control when confronted with reality, but this one really takes the cake. A girl who’s spent her youth jumping from alpha cock to alpha cock has no business requesting anything but the level of respect that deserves. Nice has a different meaning to girls, nice in her eyes means, treat her like she’s a special snowflake. She wants a guy that she can finally convince  that she’s an innocent and pure girl, when we all know that she’s the farthest thing from it. You can’t tell girls this because they cannot deal with reality. The hamster spins it so she can tolerate whatever comments that come out of your mouth. Oh you’re just a douchebag. For example.

Do girls really expect high value males to ignore their slutty past completely? Or at the very least believe that by not sleeping with a guy on the first date, somehow makes her virtuous in his eyes? Sorry girls, guys no longer are fooled by the thin vaneer of your beautiful lies. Any alpha out there will not see through your facade, and no high value man will ever respect you like you want.

You girls need to realise that you can’t have it both ways, you made your bed now sleep in it. Why would a man give up sex with a lot of younger, hotter, easier women, to go through the obsolete courting phase that the reformed slut desires? It is a clear play on obedience. These girls want to know a guy they’re with won’t sleep around on them. But any man that has options will. Why? Because she has. Because all girls have.

I respect girls, but I respect them on my level. I don’t really mind if a girl has had a bunch of cocks in her before me, I don’t want to hear about it, but I don’t care – because I’m only in it for sex and the company of a sweet and caring girl. We have mutual equality, because we have both slept around, but I will give no more respect other than that which one deserves.

Girls, you want a nice guy? Be a sweet heart to that alpha, submit to him, suck his cock every chance you can get. Do not play any games in order to coral him, do not act bitchy, do not put expectations on him, and he’ll stick around, and treat you nice. Even with all my knowledge of girls, I’m still baffled that they can’t grasp this simple concept.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER: PLEASE BE MINE...DEAREST LOVE

I love having someone to love. I love having that love reciprocated. I would walk barefoot for hours, and hours, through thunderstorms, on a path of shattered glass just to see that smile. The glint in those eyes when they catch mine. That scintillating voice. The warmth of those arms wrapped around me. Everything. All of it. It’s ineffable.

My pen is too shy and apprehensive to write what my mind really thinks of you. I want to tell you everything, but I’m afraid of vulnerability. So, you can know this instead. I do think of you, I do want to tell you, I’m just not quite ready to let you know everything yet.

Take me to the place I’ve been dreaming of
Where the grotesquely lonely meet the grotesquely lonely
And they whisper, just very softly
“Please be mine, Dearest Love”

POETRY: I ONCE HAD A DREAM

I once had a dream...
I gave you my heart
and you accepted.
You told me you loved me.
I was so high,
I could have fallen to my death.
I reached new heights,
I was proud to be by your side.
You told me how you felt
and made my heart melt.
I realized I loved you so much
I would die to make you happy.
You were so important to me
I couldn?t tell you.
But I think you somehow
knew my feelings and emotions.
I was holding your hand
and walking away from any dangers.
I gave you the world,
I spent my life on you.
Then with a final word,
you said, "Good bye"
with your soft soothing voice.
Then, finally you told me
...you loved me.
Then... the dream ended.
I guess it was
supposed to be a dream...
(sigh) just a dream.


2

She stands there
in the darkness of the forest
weaving her magical spell
in a world of fantasy she lives.

A knight stands there...
in the realm of life and of dreams
he sits there in awe
watching her spin her spell.

Wanting to reach her world he holds his hand out.
the spell wraps itself around his hand;
he resists.
But he looks at her and finds that he cannot,
he allows himself to fall.

She touches him and whispers, "I love you.."

He lays there, shaking in sweat.
He opens his eyes, and he sees the familiarity of his room.
He then closes his eyes to return to the world of dreams, to
return to her...


3


Whenever I'm wary
From the trials of my life
I think of you and I smile
You give me hope and love to carry on
You inspire me and awaken me
to a brand new day filled with
wonderful thoughts of you?
thoughts that keep me happy
and help me get through the day
You are... my inspiration

My nights are never cold.
The warmth of my love for you
Overcomes my body and soul and I drift
Into dreamland
Where you and I roam free
And we love
Like we've never loved before
When I awaken you are my first thought
My first breath of morning air
You are... my nourishment

Like two peas in a pod
We are alike in the most precious of ways
Never before have I seen
The beauty of such a divine connection
I feel what you feel; I understand; I know
I know you
You are my most beautiful vision
And I see you at all times and all places
You are in my heart
You are... me



4


My heart beats.
I'm here.
She's here.
My mind swirls.
My heart beats faster.
I take a quick glance at her, right next to me.
My eyes shift.
My eyes move back to meet with hers.
My heart beats faster than before.
Bordering between rapid and dangerous.
I sense a movement.
Her hand starts to make an advance.
My mind does a 360.
My hand starts to move as well.
My heart crosses into dangerous.
And then I feel her fingers locking with mine.
I smile, knowing that as I hold her hand, she's smiling, too.


5

I close my eyes and it?s you I see.
And if I try I can even smell the perfume you wear.
I smile, I see your face, your smile, Your eyes
When I look into them they're like nothing I have seen before.
The way you look at me breaks down the wall around my heart into dust.
Your touch is like none other.
It?s the softest kindest feel to ever come my way.
It?s of care, genuine, full of hope, to have once been lost
But given a second chance to survive.
If heaven were to allow me to see an angel
It would be you I am looking at.
So I close my eyes when you?re not around, smile and wonder,
What do you see


6


love was nothing,
until you,
love was lost,
until you,
love was only a facade,
until....you

you came into my life and changed everything,
everything I have ever dreamed of,
everything that I have ever wanted,
everything I have needed,
was defined when you entered my life,

I have never loved,
until you.......


7

As I look into your face,
I see you so benign.
I'm lost within your crystal eyes,
And I cannot close mine.

I get lost within your smile,
And wander aimlessly.
Through ecstasy and endless bliss,
So peaceful and so free.

All I have to do is see,
Your precious procelain skin.
My eyes light up like burning fire,
And I am lost within.

I never want to leave here.
This feeling is so nice.
I look into your eyes
And I am lost in paradise.


8


Awakening of
Yesterday's lust;
Today's suffering
And tomorrow's pain.

Remembrance of emotions
Burned by the promises
You couldn't keep.
Soft breezes of memories
Swirling about
Of the long ago passion.

Erotic feelings
Long buried by you.
Bound in chains;
My heart still aches for
You.



9

'Till there was you...
     My soul was dimly lit... now it shines brightly.
     My heart never beat such rhythmic music.
     My eyes never saw the essence of true beauty
     My lips were all alone in a world unknown to me.

'Till there was you...
     My hands never felt the body of love.
     I never longed for a companion.
     My dreams were disenchanted... now you haunt them like a ghost in the wind.
     The sun shined for daylight... now I know it shines for us.

To this very day I never felt true love... then there was you.



10

Regardless of whether I love you,
   hate you, wish you were dead
   or know that I would die without you.

It doesn?t matter,
   because once you entered my life,
   no matter whatever I was to the world,
   you became everything to me.

When I look you in your eyes,
   I'm traveling to the depths of your soul
   and I say a million things- without even speaking,

I know that my own life in consumed by your love,
   I love you for a million reasons.

It?s a 'thing,'
...an indescribable feeling.


11

We are here,
there, everywhere,
my love and I.
In wind, blowing
in the night sky,
each star falling free,
the moon beams,
the sunshine,
each raindrop,
in the river's bend,
on ships at sea
in the pot of gold
at each rainbows end.

We are here,
my love and I,
in the four seasons
of spring, summer,
winter, and fall.
Walking in a forest
or under city lights.
In a castle tower
looming tall.
Hearts basking
in the glow of love
in a cottage
behind a garden wall.

We will be there,
my love and I,
when the world stops,
when the sky, the wind,
the sun, the moon
and the stars drop.
Our hearts and minds
touching there,
body and soul,
lingering there
within our love,
aching for reality
in our fantasy world.

 
12

For now,
I need not feel isolation
I need not feel desolation
For your memory lies within
When an era of memory does begin

My heart salivates at a mere thought-
dancing in my mind, I am caught
Twisted thoughts, temptations flare
Closed eyes, open mind... if I dare

I will always keep you near
In my soul you are deep and dear
The stake in my heart left a hole
Yet, it will not bleed, it remains full

In another life you may come to me
Where your true heart longs to be
Until then, the taste, bittersweet
And my heart forever skips a beat

13

looking inside you. where do we run today? scattered about
in the riches we love, unknowingly in the brilliance of light
from above. nothing to abstract you...to deform you,
or make you dark. the other side is full of wild sensation.
we can dip ourselves in the serenity of the unknown...
we can blend our fantasies together, create a whole new horizon.
doors swing open, and there's nothing but possibility.
endless passion unrolling in the purity of our existence.
I can feel you, which makes it impossible not
to expand our minds, and perfect our touch.

each second dies. the past is constantly behind us
like every wave that embraces the shoreline. each breath cries
this life is constantly with us like every star that shines.
you amaze me.
I can't help but explore your eyes, and run my fingers
through your hair. I watch you dream when you sleep.
I feel your spirit in the air that breathes,
in the sun that bleeds. I'm here to fulfill your aspirations,
and all your needs.

The child you once were, is still within you.
You're always that special little girl.
It's infinite like the universe.

limitless in all I see, and feel. having you beside me,
to endure all that is real



14

ou are the reason that God made the moon,
And starlight,
And midnight blue.
Then he crossed our paths at forever more,
And as they touched,
There sparkled a magic we couldn't ignore.
We walked together,
Timid at first,
But then,
Your eyes told mine as mine told yours.
It was God's will, it was destiney,
It was love from the first.


15


My darling love, so sweet and gentle,
Come to me and allow me to see the future of you and me.
What will become of our life together? Nobody knows.

Loving you is all that matters to me...
Holding you close, feeling you against me.
My heart flutters when you call my name and say "I love you."

Your lips so soft and gentle, like the drip of morning dew.
To me, life would not exist without you in it.
You are my life, my whole world.

My life-long happiness exists only deep within you.
Without you there would be only darkness.
You are my heart, soul, and my other half


16

The night is beautiful
 stars shining so bright,
  up at them I stare
   looking for you, tonight.

Sitting alone
 so far from you,
  but feel as though
   you are right here, too!

I miss you so
 seems like forever
  has now passed
   since we spoke last.

Wanting to feel
 the warmth of your touch
   against my skin.

The night, the stars,
 here alone...
   missing you,
   even though
you are in my heart.

Someday soon
 will you be--
  watching the stars
   here with me?


17


Firelit lips dance
Warm
Wine tossed tongues touch
Sparking
Cheeks blush
Smiles and giggles
Lovers embrace
Gently
Then passionately
Eyes touch
Deep, soft
Sweet
Lips again
touch seeking touch
Tingling, shivering
Struggle for love
Toil for passion
Rising higher
Higher
As one
Holding
Time stops
Joining
Rising...
The moment stands still
The pounding of hearts
Marking time
Like the ripples on a pond
spreading
Mingling
And returning
Again


18


Will you be mine please?

You tease me with your beautiful looks.

Your love is as soft as a feather.

I will never forget your beautiful smile.

I see your face in the rain as it falls

through the night.

           

You're on my mind every minute of the day

so say you will be mine so we can be together

forever, forever together.