DATING: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE MET SOMEONE ONLINE

There's an old saying about people coming into our lives for a reason or a season, but I don't buy it. We invite people to come into our lives because we think they might prove to be good lovers or friends. Just because we find them exciting or interesting doesn't mean there is some mysterious connection or divine intervention at work.

We want to be around certain people because we like their company: when our vibrations interact, they strike a pleasing chord. It's also human nature for us to want everyone to like us and feel affection for us.

Sometimes we get lucky in relationships, and end up truly liking each other. Other times we misjudge someone and project onto them the qualities we want them to have. Then we are eventually disappointed, and feel foolish for investing so much of ourselves in that relationship.

Sometimes our relationships are indeed based on karmic connections from past lives, while at other times, we attract new souls into our experience in order to learn some life lesson.

Right now, it's popular to believe that people come into our lives for some deeper reason, something beyond our simple desire to experience however that person usually makes us feel. If that person doesn't return our interest, we end up suffering and struggling to figure out what went wrong.

With cyber connections, often there is lots of evidence that the other person will be a wonderful partner, right up until the day we meet. If that person then treats us very differently in person than they have online, we naturally become sad and confused by their actions.

We have to accept that sometimes, people looking for love online will either outright lie or simply tell us what they think we want to hear in order to get what they think they want. Sometimes the other person has high hopes and is just as innocent as we are, but upon meeting us, they are turned off by our appearance, mannerisms or a lack of chemistry.

Loving, caring individuals will try to get past that by hanging in there and looking for the positive. Immature, self-centered and insensitive people who are just out for a good time may drop all contact and never see us again if they don't think we're perfect for them at first sight.


We humans often get confused about the whole soul mate thing, so here is a quick run-down:

We do not get just one soul mate; we get approximately five per lifetime. The Universe/God/Spirit does not want us to be without love if we desire it. If for some reason a relationship with a soul mate doesn't work out, we won't be doomed to live without love forever. Instead, the Universe will bring us another soul mate. We are not limited to just one shot at true love in each lifetime.

The second misconception people have is the belief that once we meet a soul mate, nothing will ever break us up, and we'll live together happily ever after. This is so wrong.

The Universe may bring us together, but after that, free will and personal choice take over. We CHOOSE what happens in every relationship, and long-term connections require lots of hard work and open communication.

Just because you meet someone like this woman doesn't mean she is going to choose to allow you into her life, or that she will even choose to allow LOVE into her life. Obviously, this woman has some big fears that have caused her to back away. That's her choice, and since we have free will, the Universe has to allow that choice.

When we meet a soul mate, our minds do this meld thing between the past and the present. Your soul remembers this person, so a part of you is very excited and happy to see an old friend.

Your logical mind knows that you have never met this person before, however, so your head warns you to go slow, get to know her better before giving your heart away, etc. As a result, you experience a constant battle between your head and your heart/intuition.

This individual came to show you that you could choose to fall in love again. You are the one who has been holding love off - it hasn't been staying away from you by itself. Love is an energy that spreads over EVERYONE.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You have now changed how you look at romantic love, so romantic love has changed for you. This person helped you do that by coming into your life.

At this point, it doesn't really matter if she comes back or not. Your heart has opened back up, so you are on your way to new love. I know you think you want her and only her, but if you close yourself off to other possibilities, you will really limit the Universe's ability to help you find fulfillment. Stay open to all possibilities now that your heart is open to love again.