PERSONAL/ DATING: THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY

Yesterday, I was instant messaging an old friend. Maria’s a delightful person whom I’ve known since early childhood – attractive, athletic, intelligent, funny, successful, and the mother of two beautiful children. She also told me that she’s getting divorced. Her husband cheated on her multiple times – and Maria’s rightfully furious. She’s questioning the meaning of her entire relationship. She’s questioning how she’s ever going to find love again in the future. Most of all, she’s questioning her own judgment, which is the hardest thing to do when you pride yourself on being intelligent and rational.

From what little I learned about Maria and her husband, it seemed clear that she willfully ignored his selfish, narcissistic tendencies because of what came with the rest of the package – cute, smart, successful, etc...I did the same thing in my marriage.So how do you know is someone is good or bad?

I saw this movie...“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”, and it really got me to thinking:If you had EVERYTHING taken away from you – your body, your job, your whole self-definition – what would you be left with?

You’d be left with your mind.
You’d be left with your heart.
You’d be left with your spirit.
You’d be left with your kindness.
You’d be left with your generosity.
You’d be left with your sense of humor.

Strip away your looks, your home, your career, your money and you’d be left with everything that’s on the INSIDE. The person who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. So if Maria and I  wants to know where we went wrong in choosing our partner …The answer is was right here in front of us. We've been investing in the least important qualities.

Looks come and go. Jobs come and go.Money comes and goes What lasts forever is CHARACTER.

I’ve  have dated younger women, smarter women, more successful women, and so on… but I never met a BETTER than the next woman who will be my wife. If I were hit by a bus future...i know the next woman I will be with will be push me around in a wheelchair for the next 40 years. That’s what I mean by character.

There are no shortage of impressive men out there who make you tingle every time you think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they don’t put YOU first.

So the next time you’re dating a guy, don’t get too sucked in by his charm or his wit or his looks or his money…Instead, learn to appreciate the guy who does what he says, who says what he means, who makes it clear that you’re a priority to him.After all, the guy who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. Cut him loose and choose the man who loves you for what’s INSIDE. Because what’s inside never goes away.