Who knew that first time we came together that it would become more than the simple lark, the simple curiosity we both thought it to be? Your past, your pain and your sorrows made it hard for you to trust anyone. You formed the walls that had once seemingly protected you, shielded you from the hurts and pains of your past But you opened a part of yourself to me which I was prepared to receive. You...amazed me by your acceptance, even more by your willingness to remain vulnerable. It would have been so easy for me, for anyone to take advantage of that, to use it, abuse it chalking one more up on the headboard. But that was never my intent, and you gave yourself to me, only because you knew that to be the truth.
I wonder how I might be compared, would I fail, and thus disappoint you as well as myself? The risk we both took was a big one. When I first kissed your breast, I could not help but wonder if you would find pleasure in that. I could only trust in myself, knowing who I was inside and hope that you would find and discover that for yourself. I could not lead you to that place, you had to arrive there on your own. And you did.
When we eventually became as one, when I felt myself surrounded by you, felt the heat and moisture of your welcomed greeting, Hearing your soft moans, the feel of your hands upon my back, fingers no longer caressing, but imprisoning the flesh beneath your nails, I knew, as you knew we'd discovered more. And in that joining, we discovered more than just the simple pleasuring we both felt, but the acceptance of feeling towards one another that became even deeper, more profound than either one of us could have ever anticipated.
Ironically, it wasn't even saying the words that told you how I felt. You already knew. You knew it in the way I looked at you. You knew it in the way we touched, the way we laughed, the way we cried together. But it was in hearing them that made it real. I would teach you how to love, how to feel love, and more importantly, how to accept love. Even if it was the last thing I, or we, ever did.
Love isn't always feeling happy or excited, elated or that encompassing sense of peace and joy we feel and share within our hearts. Sometimes it is agonizingly painful to truly love someone. It is that willingness to have our hearts torn from us, to watch as they are shredded and then handed back, only to painstakingly put them back together again, and try again with someone else not knowing if they will be accepted, or shredded once again. But yet, we do it. We take that risk, because that risk is love. And without it, we would not know how the other side of love feels, even though it be painful to experience.
I hope I can teach you how to love. How to feel love and accept it. I hope so. I do hope, you will not have to experience the painful side of love, for truly it is that. But at least perhaps, you will be stronger, better prepared to face it if and when you ever do. And for me? , I' know for certainty I got to know the joy of loving...you
Saturday, August 18, 2012
LOVE: THE CURRENCY OF LOVE
Men are chasing beautiful woman (sex) and woman are chasing powerful men (money). I think both sex will make the mistake of identify either sex or power as necessary for their happiness. This kind of objectification that prevents us from actually seeing the other person in front of our eyes. How often do men look beyond physical beauty to see a woman's inner beauty. How often do woman overlook a man's achievement to see what lies in his heart. How often have men, drawn by outer beauty, found out the hard way the the beautiful woman, after a lifetime of having doors open because of her beauty, hasn't developed an interesting intellect or personality? Or, even worse, has become narcissist. And how often have women, drawn by a man's external success and power in the outside world found out that they are actually insecure, overcompensating, and incapable of intimacy, workaholic and not available? It is false currency...beauty or power.
We take a deep breath and find some spaciousness around the desire. We notice other things. How kind are they? How do they treat the people around them? How are they in the world, loose and rolling with it, or tight and impatient? In the core of this kind or objectification is a kind of spiritual hunger, even when we don't know it. It is like a person who has alot of sex without knowing that what he or she is looking for love...trust me...this is form experience. Into this emptiness we pour possessions and experience, attempting to ameliorate our loneliness and separation. The less connected we are with our true selves, the less aware we are of our interior landscape, and the more we pile on either material possessions or other people to make us feel important and good about ourselves.
The very process of trying to fill ourselves up with external possessions or people leaves one feeling empty and lonelier than ever. When the looks fade or the money disappears in an unexpected job loss, what is left? At the core of every successful relationships is the warmth and support of friendship---taking the other person as they are, without their so called currency.
We take a deep breath and find some spaciousness around the desire. We notice other things. How kind are they? How do they treat the people around them? How are they in the world, loose and rolling with it, or tight and impatient? In the core of this kind or objectification is a kind of spiritual hunger, even when we don't know it. It is like a person who has alot of sex without knowing that what he or she is looking for love...trust me...this is form experience. Into this emptiness we pour possessions and experience, attempting to ameliorate our loneliness and separation. The less connected we are with our true selves, the less aware we are of our interior landscape, and the more we pile on either material possessions or other people to make us feel important and good about ourselves.
The very process of trying to fill ourselves up with external possessions or people leaves one feeling empty and lonelier than ever. When the looks fade or the money disappears in an unexpected job loss, what is left? At the core of every successful relationships is the warmth and support of friendship---taking the other person as they are, without their so called currency.
SPIRITUAL/ THOUGHTS: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOVE YOURSELF?
I was watching Oprah and she was talking again ...about loving yourself. Who is the self that you love? Are you your education, your family, your relationship, your likes and dislike? On the level of personality, you are all of these things. But is loving yourself just a matter of loving your personality? What is underneath it? What is our true nature, which support all of these aspects of your personality? Self acceptance and self love are necessary to healthy relationship, but on a truly spiritual level, the I disappears. There is no I to love. There is no story of me...there is simply BEINGNESS. True freedom means not identifying with anything. And in this simple beingness is freedom: freedom from identification with me. And from this beingness comes the possibility of connecting with all that is. When you lose your identification with the ego, with all of its wants and needs, there is no barrier to experiencing a connection of the self---to all that is. The more strongly you are identified with the I and me and ego, the more isolated and separated you feel, the more you feel the need to get the love you deserve. The less identified you are, the more connected you feel, and out of this comes a love that is connected to all things. It is not ego based, but it actually a spiritual love.
The more invisible you become to yourself, the more you drop your identification with the story of me and what I think, then the more you are able to feel true love. This is because you are not relating everything back to how it affects you. You're not worried about the loss of love to you, because when you don't identify with your preceptions of yourself, you aren't there. You don't have any expectations because you have seen through the illusions of the personality always asking what's in it for me. This leaves room for simply loving without an agenda.
The less identified we are with the small self, the personality, the more we are able to feel connection with all that is----we are not contracted down to me...me. Ironically, we then become liberated and we can really let our personality rip. We become looser and freer because we know that it is not really us..what we really are is the clear and present awareness from which it all arises.
To be awake doesn't mean you do anything you want because nothing matters...it the opposite....everything matters. You are aware of your own pain and every bit of pain that you be causing. So when a person has a unrequited crush on you, you don't exploit them sexually or mine them for expensive dinners, you treat them with gently and with honesty.
The more invisible you become to yourself, the more you drop your identification with the story of me and what I think, then the more you are able to feel true love. This is because you are not relating everything back to how it affects you. You're not worried about the loss of love to you, because when you don't identify with your preceptions of yourself, you aren't there. You don't have any expectations because you have seen through the illusions of the personality always asking what's in it for me. This leaves room for simply loving without an agenda.
The less identified we are with the small self, the personality, the more we are able to feel connection with all that is----we are not contracted down to me...me. Ironically, we then become liberated and we can really let our personality rip. We become looser and freer because we know that it is not really us..what we really are is the clear and present awareness from which it all arises.
To be awake doesn't mean you do anything you want because nothing matters...it the opposite....everything matters. You are aware of your own pain and every bit of pain that you be causing. So when a person has a unrequited crush on you, you don't exploit them sexually or mine them for expensive dinners, you treat them with gently and with honesty.
LOVE/THOUGHTS: FOR THOSE OF US WHO JUST FALL SHORT EVERY TIME......
There this certain thinking we have that we have to find the perfect person before we will open our hearts to love. So often we reject our human frailties and flaws as inferior and unworthy of love, but you know seeking perfection is actually the antithesis of love. For love happens when it is safe to be flawed in the presence of another. How many people do allow us to be safe in their presence? Very few. I know my beloved is out there...just waiting for me to find her or she find me. In her I will find home. I won't be afraid. She will accept me....both physically, emotionally, and sexually.
I think of all those woman in my life who seem perfect to me. I admire and envy these woman, but rarely did I love them. It is never our perfections that makes us lovable, but rather our shortcomings and our perfectly imperfect imperfections. Who you are right now, with all of your flaws is quite enough for true love to take root in your life. Joanne found me...loved me with all my flaws. It happens...you have to just wait it out. In the movie, Bridget Jones' diary....all it takes is one little sentence: "I like you just the way you are." (I know, I heard the Billy Joel song, too).
Being liked for who she is, despite her flaws, is something that ends up appealing to Bridget. After all, she and many like her including myself have spent our adult lives trying to fit into some kind of hopeless ideal of the perfect person. For those of us who just fall short every time, finding a person who will accept us, flaws and all, is the stuff that dreams should be made on but aren't. Why? Because, truth be told, it isn't them; it's us. I am reminded of that scene in Stardust Memories where a scientist performs an elaborate procedure to put the brain of the nice girl into the body of the bad girl, and vice-versa, then he falls in love with the nice girl who has the bad girl's brain: it's not how they look it's how they act.
You may have habits and patterns that thwart the development of love, but love ever eludes us because we are not good enough. Love actually feeds on imperfections. It eludes us only because we push it away or destroy the seeds of its expression. The ability to be full possession of all aspects of ourselves...out good as well as our bad, our attractive as well as our unattractive qualities, our lightness as well as our darkness---is absolutely imperative for love.
I was taught to reject and disown much of who and what I was. I was not supported to own my dark side
-my petty selfishness
-my desire to dominate
-my envy
-my passion for retaliation
-express anger
-explore my sexuality
-being cold
-being self-center
-lazy
I never said I was perfect...or full of love. These dark side does make me weak, but I am not going to hide them either. Somewhere along in my childhood...i had to split myself form my dark feelings, and fragmented whole part of myself. I had to shut down these part of me in order to convince myself, and other that I was lovable and that I belong. I am not going to do that anymore. I am going to own my dark side also.
When we disown qualities that we have within us, we are often attracted to people who are expressing those very same qualities. And it is true. I love Melissa coldness,strength, anger and selfishness. Sometimes it's not so much that we want that person, as much as we want to BE that person. The idea of self-improvement imples there is something wrong with who we are. Everyone wants to be someone else, but getting to know and love yourself means accepting who you are, complete with your inadequacies and irrationalities.
I do have some hostility harbored toward woman. They have the power to accept men, let men fuck them...to hurt or destroy a man's soul. I've been completely frustated with every woman I've been meeting..because they all end up being flaky, without integerity (can keep any promise), and just non-commital. I have become protective of myself...i see it. Raised mostly by my mom...I try to be friend with woman...which cause to have alot of female energy ( being sensitive, compassionate, caring)
I am learning to forgive woman, and allow myself to harden into a more masculine, in order to attract good woman. I need to embrace my masculine side that I called bad. And also rather than feel ashamed by how feminine emotionally I am, I need to accept this part of myself as well.
I think of all those woman in my life who seem perfect to me. I admire and envy these woman, but rarely did I love them. It is never our perfections that makes us lovable, but rather our shortcomings and our perfectly imperfect imperfections. Who you are right now, with all of your flaws is quite enough for true love to take root in your life. Joanne found me...loved me with all my flaws. It happens...you have to just wait it out. In the movie, Bridget Jones' diary....all it takes is one little sentence: "I like you just the way you are." (I know, I heard the Billy Joel song, too).
Being liked for who she is, despite her flaws, is something that ends up appealing to Bridget. After all, she and many like her including myself have spent our adult lives trying to fit into some kind of hopeless ideal of the perfect person. For those of us who just fall short every time, finding a person who will accept us, flaws and all, is the stuff that dreams should be made on but aren't. Why? Because, truth be told, it isn't them; it's us. I am reminded of that scene in Stardust Memories where a scientist performs an elaborate procedure to put the brain of the nice girl into the body of the bad girl, and vice-versa, then he falls in love with the nice girl who has the bad girl's brain: it's not how they look it's how they act.
You may have habits and patterns that thwart the development of love, but love ever eludes us because we are not good enough. Love actually feeds on imperfections. It eludes us only because we push it away or destroy the seeds of its expression. The ability to be full possession of all aspects of ourselves...out good as well as our bad, our attractive as well as our unattractive qualities, our lightness as well as our darkness---is absolutely imperative for love.
I was taught to reject and disown much of who and what I was. I was not supported to own my dark side
-my petty selfishness
-my desire to dominate
-my envy
-my passion for retaliation
-express anger
-explore my sexuality
-being cold
-being self-center
-lazy
I never said I was perfect...or full of love. These dark side does make me weak, but I am not going to hide them either. Somewhere along in my childhood...i had to split myself form my dark feelings, and fragmented whole part of myself. I had to shut down these part of me in order to convince myself, and other that I was lovable and that I belong. I am not going to do that anymore. I am going to own my dark side also.
When we disown qualities that we have within us, we are often attracted to people who are expressing those very same qualities. And it is true. I love Melissa coldness,strength, anger and selfishness. Sometimes it's not so much that we want that person, as much as we want to BE that person. The idea of self-improvement imples there is something wrong with who we are. Everyone wants to be someone else, but getting to know and love yourself means accepting who you are, complete with your inadequacies and irrationalities.
I do have some hostility harbored toward woman. They have the power to accept men, let men fuck them...to hurt or destroy a man's soul. I've been completely frustated with every woman I've been meeting..because they all end up being flaky, without integerity (can keep any promise), and just non-commital. I have become protective of myself...i see it. Raised mostly by my mom...I try to be friend with woman...which cause to have alot of female energy ( being sensitive, compassionate, caring)
I am learning to forgive woman, and allow myself to harden into a more masculine, in order to attract good woman. I need to embrace my masculine side that I called bad. And also rather than feel ashamed by how feminine emotionally I am, I need to accept this part of myself as well.
SPIRITUAL/ JOURNAL: LET GO........IN A FLASH
I was out walking the other night, Chopin playing in my headphones and a crisp sort of winter stillness in the air. I feel the sense of peaceful ambiance.The sort of thought trajectory that starts out when something great happens and opens up a flood of positive thinking; a thought stream that then gathers momentum and ultimately turns negative, as all unattended thought does eventually when left to proliferate.
When this happens I usually find it helpful to go for a long walk, to quiet down and regain consciousness. I had been walking for about an hour or so that night, feeling gradually more peaceful as the time went by, and then suddenly, almost in a flash, I had an insight. And the insight was that "my life is not mine." After realizing this, it was as if a fog had lifted and I was immediately at peace. Deep peace. The unease I had felt before the sudden realization wasn't all that deep or unbearable; compared to what the world terms normal, it was a relatively peaceful state. But when you have once glimpsed the state of absolute peace, you will know whenever it is missing. And that shift from being relatively peaceful to the state of deep inner peace was quite significant.
The pointer
Now, what was it about this simple statement that put me so completely at ease? If we look at the words, they make no sense whatsoever because to say that my life is not mine is clearly a paradox. What's mine is mine, and if my life is not mine then whose is it?
These are the questions the mind wants answered before it will allow the words to come in any further, and very active and negative mind patterns would dismiss them immediately and simply stop reading. So, looking past the paradox for a moment, let's investigate what the statement is actually saying. Which is, put simply, that life is not owned by the ego. It is the life of God (or simply life itself), and you are given an opportunity to enjoy the experience, to sit along for the ride so to speak. The ego has all sorts of ideas about what it wants for itself, ambitions, goals, and plans; and it will always seek to gain absolute control over the life it claims to own. It will attempt to figure everything out for itself, arrange things according to what it thinks it needs in order to be happy, and all it ever does is lead you down a path of futile effort and suffering. This you know from experience, and if you don't then you only need to look harder to discover that this is the case.
Enter the ego
And at this point the ego will come in and say, that if you do this, if you give up control and accept that life is not yours, you will, at best, end up in a ditch somewhere, destitute and in misery, having failed to take control of your life when you had the chance. It will tell you that in order for you to be at peace, you first need to make it, need to arrive somewhere. And then when you've finally arrived, you can allow life to do what it will from thereon. But until that happens, giving up control would be to accept defeat and failure. It is fearful and perplexed by all of this nonsense about surrendering, and will probably attempt to pull you back into unconsciousness with whatever trickery it has available.
But that's just the ego. And all the advice the ego will ever give you is sure to keep bringing you more frustration and suffering: this is inevitable, and the sooner you realize it the better. But to make it easier for you to let go, it is helpful to know that to surrender does not mean that you cannot do things of your own initiative anymore; what the pointer does is trigger an awareness inside of you, an awareness that gives you a higher perspective. You still do what you do, make music, go for a walk, start a business, but what happens is no longer of any real concern to you. It is not your life anyway, and so it would seem almost arrogant to demand that something in particular has to happen. The result of whatever it is you do then becomes relatively unimportant compared to the act of doing itself. You will keep doing things, but instead of it being stressful or an effort, you will find that doing becomes playful and enjoyable.
Yeah, but...
This pointer, like any words having to do with spiritual realization, is not meant to make sense to the mind. I'm repeating myself here of course, but it's worth reminding yourself of this whenever you are working with pointers, or indeed any words or ideas that have to do with that which is beyond form. Words and concepts are form, and thus cannot possibly explain with accuracy anything beyond the level of form.
If you find the paradox overly distracting however, try removing the "my" at the beginning so that it says simply: "life is not mine." It is a recognition that you are not in control, and indeed are not even meant to be. And so you become quiet, put hands behind your back and allow life to do what it will. It is an act of surrendering, of aligning yourself to the will of God. And then you will rightly recognize your personal ambitions and demands as frivolous, thus becoming able to lay them aside without feeling any sense of loss whatsoever.
A particular area of conflict and doubt with regards to this pointer, as mentioned earlier, is that it doesn't seem to be aligned with the outwardly focused goals or plans you may have made for yourself. If you need to let go of personal ambition, then what about personal development? Am I just to surrender and then sit around doing nothing?
Not at all. When you give up the need for control, you are still free to pursue whatever it is you want to achieve on the level of form. Which can be really difficult to understand at first, and to trust enough to be able to let go. All talk about relinquishing control and surrendering to God does not suggest that you should stop everything you're doing and give in to inertia. In fact, surrendering usually has the opposite effect: when you let go of the need to be in full control, being productive and achieving goals becomes effortless and enjoyable. When the ego is no longer distorting your perception, you will cease to have a fear of failure when attempting to achieve things. And as you know, the fear of failure is what usually keeps people from doing all of those things that are worth doing. Making a big career change or starting your own business, asking someone out on a date, or even just approaching a stranger on the street.
What would your life be like if you didn't experience fear of failure? Let go of the illusion that life is yours, and then see what happens.
When this happens I usually find it helpful to go for a long walk, to quiet down and regain consciousness. I had been walking for about an hour or so that night, feeling gradually more peaceful as the time went by, and then suddenly, almost in a flash, I had an insight. And the insight was that "my life is not mine." After realizing this, it was as if a fog had lifted and I was immediately at peace. Deep peace. The unease I had felt before the sudden realization wasn't all that deep or unbearable; compared to what the world terms normal, it was a relatively peaceful state. But when you have once glimpsed the state of absolute peace, you will know whenever it is missing. And that shift from being relatively peaceful to the state of deep inner peace was quite significant.
The pointer
Now, what was it about this simple statement that put me so completely at ease? If we look at the words, they make no sense whatsoever because to say that my life is not mine is clearly a paradox. What's mine is mine, and if my life is not mine then whose is it?
These are the questions the mind wants answered before it will allow the words to come in any further, and very active and negative mind patterns would dismiss them immediately and simply stop reading. So, looking past the paradox for a moment, let's investigate what the statement is actually saying. Which is, put simply, that life is not owned by the ego. It is the life of God (or simply life itself), and you are given an opportunity to enjoy the experience, to sit along for the ride so to speak. The ego has all sorts of ideas about what it wants for itself, ambitions, goals, and plans; and it will always seek to gain absolute control over the life it claims to own. It will attempt to figure everything out for itself, arrange things according to what it thinks it needs in order to be happy, and all it ever does is lead you down a path of futile effort and suffering. This you know from experience, and if you don't then you only need to look harder to discover that this is the case.
Enter the ego
And at this point the ego will come in and say, that if you do this, if you give up control and accept that life is not yours, you will, at best, end up in a ditch somewhere, destitute and in misery, having failed to take control of your life when you had the chance. It will tell you that in order for you to be at peace, you first need to make it, need to arrive somewhere. And then when you've finally arrived, you can allow life to do what it will from thereon. But until that happens, giving up control would be to accept defeat and failure. It is fearful and perplexed by all of this nonsense about surrendering, and will probably attempt to pull you back into unconsciousness with whatever trickery it has available.
But that's just the ego. And all the advice the ego will ever give you is sure to keep bringing you more frustration and suffering: this is inevitable, and the sooner you realize it the better. But to make it easier for you to let go, it is helpful to know that to surrender does not mean that you cannot do things of your own initiative anymore; what the pointer does is trigger an awareness inside of you, an awareness that gives you a higher perspective. You still do what you do, make music, go for a walk, start a business, but what happens is no longer of any real concern to you. It is not your life anyway, and so it would seem almost arrogant to demand that something in particular has to happen. The result of whatever it is you do then becomes relatively unimportant compared to the act of doing itself. You will keep doing things, but instead of it being stressful or an effort, you will find that doing becomes playful and enjoyable.
Yeah, but...
This pointer, like any words having to do with spiritual realization, is not meant to make sense to the mind. I'm repeating myself here of course, but it's worth reminding yourself of this whenever you are working with pointers, or indeed any words or ideas that have to do with that which is beyond form. Words and concepts are form, and thus cannot possibly explain with accuracy anything beyond the level of form.
If you find the paradox overly distracting however, try removing the "my" at the beginning so that it says simply: "life is not mine." It is a recognition that you are not in control, and indeed are not even meant to be. And so you become quiet, put hands behind your back and allow life to do what it will. It is an act of surrendering, of aligning yourself to the will of God. And then you will rightly recognize your personal ambitions and demands as frivolous, thus becoming able to lay them aside without feeling any sense of loss whatsoever.
A particular area of conflict and doubt with regards to this pointer, as mentioned earlier, is that it doesn't seem to be aligned with the outwardly focused goals or plans you may have made for yourself. If you need to let go of personal ambition, then what about personal development? Am I just to surrender and then sit around doing nothing?
Not at all. When you give up the need for control, you are still free to pursue whatever it is you want to achieve on the level of form. Which can be really difficult to understand at first, and to trust enough to be able to let go. All talk about relinquishing control and surrendering to God does not suggest that you should stop everything you're doing and give in to inertia. In fact, surrendering usually has the opposite effect: when you let go of the need to be in full control, being productive and achieving goals becomes effortless and enjoyable. When the ego is no longer distorting your perception, you will cease to have a fear of failure when attempting to achieve things. And as you know, the fear of failure is what usually keeps people from doing all of those things that are worth doing. Making a big career change or starting your own business, asking someone out on a date, or even just approaching a stranger on the street.
What would your life be like if you didn't experience fear of failure? Let go of the illusion that life is yours, and then see what happens.
LOVE/SPIRITUAL : FOR THE ONE IS......
You trust that your soul is doing what's best for you, and therefore you can risk falling in love. The moment you're standing in now is a beautiful culmination of all that has already been poured into the great vessel of your life. Everything that has happened to you has prepared you for the person who is ready to love you now, the one who for the person who is ready to love you now, the one who will perfectly accompany and assist you on your journey. The truth is you will know in your heart of heart when your true love comes along. For "the one" is the person who will make you feel most absolutely, most genuinely, most happily like yourself. He or she will make you make you feel loved, loving, lucky, and joyful. There will be a kind of mysterious recognition, a deep incontrovertible sense that you're with the right person.
LOVE: TO FEAR LOVE IS TO FEAR LIFE
To fear love is to fear life and those who fear life are already three parts dead.Love is what we want. Love is what we fear. We fear the loss of that love or engulfment so much that we don't let ourselves go there. We dance around it. We avoid it. We have been burned before, and we don't want to be burned again. It take courage to love. Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's doing something in spite of the fear. You love in spite of the knowledge that love will end, at the very least in death. If you are trying to prevent painful feelings, you will also prevent joyous ones. there is only on conduit to express feelings, and if it is contracted or blocked, then that's it.
But these are just thoughts. You don't have to go along for the ride.They come, they go, very much connected to our past experience. Very much connected to our story.My relationship with Melissa as a up and down, ins and out relationship. There were long and short period of separations...she would bail out and be mean to me after a few weeks of intense, sensational sex and incredible passion. We had spiritual affinity, intellectual sparks, and great sex...but none of it matter. Every time we cam together...she would leave. The last time when I told her we either get married or move on.... I remember Melissa would say to me "It's just that when we spend time together I'm really happy. When we are together it feel goods...but when I'm alone, all I can think about is the reasons why we shouldn't be together" Her heart was feeling great...her thinking...about it seem hopeless. I would tell her to stop listening to this litany of thoughts....recognize it as negative mind. In the end, her internal conflict was too much. When I had enough and she pulled the plug the last time...I thought it would be the most loving thing to do for myself ..is to get off the merry-go-around.
So how do you balance the head and the heart? How do you negotiate the chemical attraction, the need to bond, the mysterious pull toward certain people with the observant mind that can make a rational decision about which people to choose? The heart must be followed, for not to follow it would mean to shut down on some important level. It ours be a betrayal of ourselves to fear, and would affect us on a physical level.
But these are just thoughts. You don't have to go along for the ride.They come, they go, very much connected to our past experience. Very much connected to our story.My relationship with Melissa as a up and down, ins and out relationship. There were long and short period of separations...she would bail out and be mean to me after a few weeks of intense, sensational sex and incredible passion. We had spiritual affinity, intellectual sparks, and great sex...but none of it matter. Every time we cam together...she would leave. The last time when I told her we either get married or move on.... I remember Melissa would say to me "It's just that when we spend time together I'm really happy. When we are together it feel goods...but when I'm alone, all I can think about is the reasons why we shouldn't be together" Her heart was feeling great...her thinking...about it seem hopeless. I would tell her to stop listening to this litany of thoughts....recognize it as negative mind. In the end, her internal conflict was too much. When I had enough and she pulled the plug the last time...I thought it would be the most loving thing to do for myself ..is to get off the merry-go-around.
So how do you balance the head and the heart? How do you negotiate the chemical attraction, the need to bond, the mysterious pull toward certain people with the observant mind that can make a rational decision about which people to choose? The heart must be followed, for not to follow it would mean to shut down on some important level. It ours be a betrayal of ourselves to fear, and would affect us on a physical level.
LOVE: THE SENSE OF SELF
My sense of self was very much tired to my mother's perceptions of me. In response to her impossible demands made upon me that I should be perfect,..I always was compelled to behave flawlessly in all area in my life. My inability to be perfect was too evident, and I began to believe I was a failure, a complete disgrace to my mother.
I think we often assume that merely because I think something or because someone such as a parent, teacher, or strange...said something...that it must be true. We don't even question the toxic thought. We just try to compensate for it and try to hide it from others. so they will like us. Life becomes about proving that we are not that...........
-to try to get the most beautiful woman even if she horrible because you think you are not attractive
-to try to get the best car....to show you are someone
-and the list goes on.
Trying to compensate for something that I believe is wrong with me. You know what I learn...even when I had the beautiful woman, the best car, and now a great apartment.....there weren't sufficient to disprove my belief once and for all. In the end, every situation I found myself had the potential to validate the worst about myself.
My whole sense have formed itself in reactions to a wounding or a event that suggested that I was unlovable, unworthy of love, or simply alone in life. These constructs of myself must be revealed for what they are.....not the truth of who I am. I am far more thane what I think i am. I must shed my old ways of defining who I am. Just because my mom told me over and over again things that I had fix about myself...doesn't mean that her statement bears any resemblance to the truth. My mom was a mere mortal. I must stop perpetrating the abuse against myself that originated by indulging my errant belief, day after day, year after year. I am persisting treating myself in the same destructive way that my parent treated me.
I also learn that just overcome my pervasive and compelling conviction that I am defective or unlovable by simply creating an affirmation that opposed the belief is not enough. Saying : "I am whole, I am handsome...I am successful" without also challenging the validity of the belief would be like pulling the flower off the dandelion. I have to challenging them.
The next time I find the internal "She won't find me attractive" or "Why would anyone want me...i am defective" dialogue kicks in....I am going to talk back to it. really talk back to it.
"You're ugly...she going to reject you. You're defective..why would she wants you" it will say
I will say...beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Joanne, Melissa, Katerina, Gina, Maria loved me..
It might never go away entirely, but I will learn to give up relating to them as though they were the dreaded truth about who and what I am. Rather than allow these belief to bully me with their incessant chatter, eat away at my confidence, and devour my life. When we operate as though the core belief we harbor in our heart is true, we tend to behave in ways that end up validating their existence. Either that, or we'll feel driven to find love in a attempt to prove that they are not. We'll impose upon our lover the taxing responsibility of reassuring us that we are lovable, worthy, important, attractive...all the while conversely doing all we can to convince her that we are anything but.
I think we often assume that merely because I think something or because someone such as a parent, teacher, or strange...said something...that it must be true. We don't even question the toxic thought. We just try to compensate for it and try to hide it from others. so they will like us. Life becomes about proving that we are not that...........
-to try to get the most beautiful woman even if she horrible because you think you are not attractive
-to try to get the best car....to show you are someone
-and the list goes on.
Trying to compensate for something that I believe is wrong with me. You know what I learn...even when I had the beautiful woman, the best car, and now a great apartment.....there weren't sufficient to disprove my belief once and for all. In the end, every situation I found myself had the potential to validate the worst about myself.
My whole sense have formed itself in reactions to a wounding or a event that suggested that I was unlovable, unworthy of love, or simply alone in life. These constructs of myself must be revealed for what they are.....not the truth of who I am. I am far more thane what I think i am. I must shed my old ways of defining who I am. Just because my mom told me over and over again things that I had fix about myself...doesn't mean that her statement bears any resemblance to the truth. My mom was a mere mortal. I must stop perpetrating the abuse against myself that originated by indulging my errant belief, day after day, year after year. I am persisting treating myself in the same destructive way that my parent treated me.
I also learn that just overcome my pervasive and compelling conviction that I am defective or unlovable by simply creating an affirmation that opposed the belief is not enough. Saying : "I am whole, I am handsome...I am successful" without also challenging the validity of the belief would be like pulling the flower off the dandelion. I have to challenging them.
The next time I find the internal "She won't find me attractive" or "Why would anyone want me...i am defective" dialogue kicks in....I am going to talk back to it. really talk back to it.
"You're ugly...she going to reject you. You're defective..why would she wants you" it will say
I will say...beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Joanne, Melissa, Katerina, Gina, Maria loved me..
It might never go away entirely, but I will learn to give up relating to them as though they were the dreaded truth about who and what I am. Rather than allow these belief to bully me with their incessant chatter, eat away at my confidence, and devour my life. When we operate as though the core belief we harbor in our heart is true, we tend to behave in ways that end up validating their existence. Either that, or we'll feel driven to find love in a attempt to prove that they are not. We'll impose upon our lover the taxing responsibility of reassuring us that we are lovable, worthy, important, attractive...all the while conversely doing all we can to convince her that we are anything but.
THOUGHTS: WHEN YOU LOOK AT HER
When you see someone who takes your breath away...what has really happen? has anything changed the moment you see that person? Where you not still in the bookstore holding your books, or in the coffee shop holding your coffee? Nothing has changed except that you've been triggered. You don't have to do anything as nervousness and desire and momentarily engulf your worldview. Nothing is happening except what is happening in your mind. Thoughts like...
-She HOT
-I'm not handsome enough for her
-I'm not going to put myself in a place to be rejected
All this happen in spilt second. The mind get int a whirlwind. It can go to past experience and say this is what's going to happen now. It can travel to the future and play out all sorts of scenarios. The mind will do anything except be with the reality of what is, which is simply the arising of attraction. When you heart is pounding, and you've suddenly lost the ability to speak, what can you do? What is actually at stake here? You were fine before the sighting of the woman who triggered the feelings, and you will be fine afterwards. View the desire that is arising as a beautiful thing----you are alive. The only thing that has happened is that desire has arisen and give birth to a series of thoughts in your mind. Otherwise, things are exactly the same, because nothing has actually happened outside your own perceptions. On a spiritual level, you are meeting another manifestation of creation, another chip of consciousness.
-She HOT
-I'm not handsome enough for her
-I'm not going to put myself in a place to be rejected
All this happen in spilt second. The mind get int a whirlwind. It can go to past experience and say this is what's going to happen now. It can travel to the future and play out all sorts of scenarios. The mind will do anything except be with the reality of what is, which is simply the arising of attraction. When you heart is pounding, and you've suddenly lost the ability to speak, what can you do? What is actually at stake here? You were fine before the sighting of the woman who triggered the feelings, and you will be fine afterwards. View the desire that is arising as a beautiful thing----you are alive. The only thing that has happened is that desire has arisen and give birth to a series of thoughts in your mind. Otherwise, things are exactly the same, because nothing has actually happened outside your own perceptions. On a spiritual level, you are meeting another manifestation of creation, another chip of consciousness.
THOUGHTS; BEAUTY AND THE BLIND
When I was young I used to think that most people were beautiful. This belief does not reflect an excessively benevolent view of humanity, only the fact that I am blind. I assumed that the majority of people around me must be beautiful because I could see nothing wrong with them. But to have nothing wrong is to be merely average, ordinary, plain. Beauty is rare, and like most rare things, desirable and precious.
Although I still don't know what beauty looks like, I now know a lot about it; at least I know the things people say. I gather that youth is generally assumed to be more beautiful than age, and that regular features and symmetrical forms are prized. And the eyes are always crucial, always the focal point of the ideal look. But it is not enough just to have youth, symmetrical proportions and lovely eyes. Every culture in every age admires certain traits and disparages others. Particular body types and body parts are esteemed; the size and shape of facial features, and the colour of skin, hair and eyes are all assigned relative values. An American beauty today might have less appeal in Asia, and probably would have been considered too thin a century ago. Even within the same culture, individual preferences play a role. On numerous occasions I have heard friends debate the relative beauty of common acquaintances and public figures, and have always been struck by how rarely everyone agrees.
Beauty is easy to recognize and hard to define. People spend a lot of time talking about it, and a lot of money and energy trying to achieve it. And the blind are not exempt . From childhood we, and our caretakers, are bombarded with advice about the need for good grooming, physical fitness and tasteful attire. But for us the goal is not merely to make the most of whatever attractions we might possess, but to make ourselves visually appealing to others in order to dispel the expectation that the blind are always indigent and helpless. In other words, we are encouraged not to become more beautiful, but to look less blind. I recognize that new clothes or a new haircut will make me feel good about myself. This will show in my face and may counteract the discomfort my blindness rouses in others.
Inviting attention
Still, in a world where the vast majority of the blind are undereducated and under-employed, I think that personal appearance should be the least of our worries. All the advice we receive about our looks only reinforces the idea that blindness is unsightly, best kept concealed in homes and institutions.
Once I met a blind man who always wore extremely vivid colours, school bus yellow, safety orange, electric green. I knew this because, like many blind people, I have some residual vision, including colour perception. This man however was totally sightless, with no direct experience of the colours he wore. It was his mother who chose them for him when he was a child so he would be more visible to motorists. As an adult he continued the practice because, as he said, "if people are going to stare anyway, I might as well make it worth their while."
It is no secret to the blind that people stare at us. We can hear the hush that comes over a room when we enter. We can feel heads turn, then turn away, then turn back to stare. People believe they can stare at us with impunity because we cannot see their fixed gaze and thus will not be offended by their scrutiny. People also stare at the beautiful, and in a sense get away with it, because beautiful people seem to invite the attention. Does this mean that the blind are beautiful?
Certainly, blind women in movies are usually beautiful: Audrey Hepburn in Wait Until Dark and Uma Thurman in Jennifer Eight, to name only two examples. But their friends seem to feel that beauty is wasted on the blind woman because she is so unconscious of it. She cannot see her reflection in the mirror or the impact her appearance has on others, so her beauty is somehow muted or effaced. True beauty, at least in movies, is not merely on the surface but is enhanced and magnified by an inner awareness of others' admiring gaze.
In fact, I have observed that people have a way of letting me know they're beautiful even though I can't see them. They project a self-assurance that shows they have always been accustomed to attention and favourable treatment. This quality does not feel the same as vanity or arrogance; I have met beauties who were quite modest. They do not necessarily take credit for their beauty, but bear it with the good grace of the recipient of a surprise gift.
Nature's freaks
Still, beauty remains a mystery to me. A person can have all the prescribed characteristics and still not be beautiful. Beauty requires something extra, an element of surprise, even near-violence. Beauty arrests the gaze, catches the breath and stops the heart. Beauty is an anomaly, an improbable freak of nature that so many idealized qualities should occur in a single individual. Beautiful people complain that potential friends and lovers are intimidated by their looks and that potential employers doubt their intelligence.
They should spend more time with the blind because we have much in common. We too know what it's like to create a sensation when we walk down the street. We know how it feels to be judged for our appearance alone. And while we cannot display the admiring gazes the beautiful have come to expect, we also will not detect the pimples and wrinkles they fear will spoil their beauty. And our view of them will remain constant long after the rest of the world tells them they're past their prime.
Although I still don't know what beauty looks like, I now know a lot about it; at least I know the things people say. I gather that youth is generally assumed to be more beautiful than age, and that regular features and symmetrical forms are prized. And the eyes are always crucial, always the focal point of the ideal look. But it is not enough just to have youth, symmetrical proportions and lovely eyes. Every culture in every age admires certain traits and disparages others. Particular body types and body parts are esteemed; the size and shape of facial features, and the colour of skin, hair and eyes are all assigned relative values. An American beauty today might have less appeal in Asia, and probably would have been considered too thin a century ago. Even within the same culture, individual preferences play a role. On numerous occasions I have heard friends debate the relative beauty of common acquaintances and public figures, and have always been struck by how rarely everyone agrees.
Beauty is easy to recognize and hard to define. People spend a lot of time talking about it, and a lot of money and energy trying to achieve it. And the blind are not exempt . From childhood we, and our caretakers, are bombarded with advice about the need for good grooming, physical fitness and tasteful attire. But for us the goal is not merely to make the most of whatever attractions we might possess, but to make ourselves visually appealing to others in order to dispel the expectation that the blind are always indigent and helpless. In other words, we are encouraged not to become more beautiful, but to look less blind. I recognize that new clothes or a new haircut will make me feel good about myself. This will show in my face and may counteract the discomfort my blindness rouses in others.
Inviting attention
Still, in a world where the vast majority of the blind are undereducated and under-employed, I think that personal appearance should be the least of our worries. All the advice we receive about our looks only reinforces the idea that blindness is unsightly, best kept concealed in homes and institutions.
Once I met a blind man who always wore extremely vivid colours, school bus yellow, safety orange, electric green. I knew this because, like many blind people, I have some residual vision, including colour perception. This man however was totally sightless, with no direct experience of the colours he wore. It was his mother who chose them for him when he was a child so he would be more visible to motorists. As an adult he continued the practice because, as he said, "if people are going to stare anyway, I might as well make it worth their while."
It is no secret to the blind that people stare at us. We can hear the hush that comes over a room when we enter. We can feel heads turn, then turn away, then turn back to stare. People believe they can stare at us with impunity because we cannot see their fixed gaze and thus will not be offended by their scrutiny. People also stare at the beautiful, and in a sense get away with it, because beautiful people seem to invite the attention. Does this mean that the blind are beautiful?
Certainly, blind women in movies are usually beautiful: Audrey Hepburn in Wait Until Dark and Uma Thurman in Jennifer Eight, to name only two examples. But their friends seem to feel that beauty is wasted on the blind woman because she is so unconscious of it. She cannot see her reflection in the mirror or the impact her appearance has on others, so her beauty is somehow muted or effaced. True beauty, at least in movies, is not merely on the surface but is enhanced and magnified by an inner awareness of others' admiring gaze.
In fact, I have observed that people have a way of letting me know they're beautiful even though I can't see them. They project a self-assurance that shows they have always been accustomed to attention and favourable treatment. This quality does not feel the same as vanity or arrogance; I have met beauties who were quite modest. They do not necessarily take credit for their beauty, but bear it with the good grace of the recipient of a surprise gift.
Nature's freaks
Still, beauty remains a mystery to me. A person can have all the prescribed characteristics and still not be beautiful. Beauty requires something extra, an element of surprise, even near-violence. Beauty arrests the gaze, catches the breath and stops the heart. Beauty is an anomaly, an improbable freak of nature that so many idealized qualities should occur in a single individual. Beautiful people complain that potential friends and lovers are intimidated by their looks and that potential employers doubt their intelligence.
They should spend more time with the blind because we have much in common. We too know what it's like to create a sensation when we walk down the street. We know how it feels to be judged for our appearance alone. And while we cannot display the admiring gazes the beautiful have come to expect, we also will not detect the pimples and wrinkles they fear will spoil their beauty. And our view of them will remain constant long after the rest of the world tells them they're past their prime.
SPIRITUAL : THE INVISIBLE BOND
There is an invisible bond connecting us with every spiritual being person. Through the realization of that, we are instantaneously at one with the spiritual consciousness. On this point hinges a tremendous revelation....we are never alone. Just as we attract to ourselves the companionship we deserve at any given moment, so is our invisible life there is companionship. If I wish to commune to you, I have to close my eyes, shut out the appearance, and go deep down within my consciousness. There I find the I that you really are---the soul, the I that lives in me.
The purpose of entertaining truth in consciousness is to spiritualize mind and body, to bring to our awareness the light of truth so that our whole being may b transformed. At first we fill our consciousness with truth until the mind is transformed from a material to a spiritual base, then we stop using our mind as a mental power to make something happen and let it because a avenue of our awareness. Where the mind would think of running to something outside our self...we rush back inside ourselves for the truth with which to meet the situation.
The purpose of entertaining truth in consciousness is to spiritualize mind and body, to bring to our awareness the light of truth so that our whole being may b transformed. At first we fill our consciousness with truth until the mind is transformed from a material to a spiritual base, then we stop using our mind as a mental power to make something happen and let it because a avenue of our awareness. Where the mind would think of running to something outside our self...we rush back inside ourselves for the truth with which to meet the situation.
THOUGHTS: WHAT MAKE US BEAUTIFUL?
Does there exist anywhere a soul that does not revel in beauty and long for more? We will pay large sums to have beauty in our lives. It comes to us in so many forms. We purchase the most beautiful car we can afford. A young man will pursue the most beautiful woman in his life. Beauty is something we all experience and yet have an incredibly difficult time defining. It changes from culture to culture yet has universal qualities. Some African tribes see incredible beauty in intricate patterns of scars. Ancient Romans found beauty in power and order. Greeks found it in youth, the painters of the Renaissance in color, modern people in music. All seem to find it in a sunset.
Plato equated beauty with that which is good. Aristotle defined it as that which had symmetry and proportionality. Isaiah told us the feet that bear good news are beautiful. Little boys are smitten with the beauty of their mothers and want to live with her for the rest of their lives.
Perhaps it is love that makes something beautiful. Yet, that cannot be totally true since we find flowers and great paintings beautiful and do not love them. However our love for someone does indeed make him or her beautiful. The more we love them the more beautiful they become.
Plato equated beauty with that which is good. Aristotle defined it as that which had symmetry and proportionality. Isaiah told us the feet that bear good news are beautiful. Little boys are smitten with the beauty of their mothers and want to live with her for the rest of their lives.
Perhaps it is love that makes something beautiful. Yet, that cannot be totally true since we find flowers and great paintings beautiful and do not love them. However our love for someone does indeed make him or her beautiful. The more we love them the more beautiful they become.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER
There are many reasons that I say I love you. Sometimes when we're fighting or bickering, I say, "I love you," and it means, "I love you and I'm sorry." When I'm teasing and it starts to elevate, I often mean, "I'm only kidding, you know I really love you."
When you tell a joke and I laugh and say I love you, it means, "I love you," and also that I love your sense of humor, I love the way you make me smile, I love the way you make me feel happy and light inside.
Sometimes I say I love you when I want something. But it's more than just a ploy to get you to do what I want. It means, "I love you and I really appreciate all you do for me. I know that you do it because you love me and want to make me happy. And I love you for that."
Sometimes when I say I love you it means, "I feel so connected with you, that I just want to touch you; be held in your arms and embrace that connection." It's then that the feelings of love swell in my heart until I feel I'm going to burst. Sometimes when I say I love you, it's because I want you so close that it feels like there is only one of us. When I am inside of you, I want to know that you feel the connection too. This is when I want to look into your eyes when we make love. This is when the moment is all about us, and we need no words, no games, no props.
It's times like this that I feel the love welling up so strongly that I can't speak at all, or maybe only in a whisper. The love that I feel when we're together like this is cosmic and spiritual; it's physical and emotional. It moves me. It's more than the stimulation of body parts; it's the absolute trust that I place in you in that moment when my pleasure is in your hands. It is then that I present myself to you as my most vulnerable; that I offer myself to you without reserve.
Often it is then, that I offer you the part of me that most depends upon that trust, the part often coveted and desired, but not always given; my ass. It is a gift, not merely a taboo act of lust; it is a special offering which requires absolute faith on my part, and extra care and consideration on yours. And in this I find that my love grows with my ability to trust you to faithfully carry that out. And perhaps your love for me grows with my acceptance of you as you penetrate into this most delicate part of myself my heart.
When we lay together in the dewy mist of our consummation, our bodies slicked with sweat, our hair damp and our limbs too tired to move, my head floating dreamily on a cloud of contentment, I wrapped my arms around you, you feel safe and secure in my love. When the world disappears and there is only me holding you, and I say I love you, I mean simply that- I love you. Yet I also mean thank you for being you. I mean, it was more than good for me, it was great. I mean, I want to feel like this forever. I mean things for which not words have been invented. I mean, you are the world to me.
If you ever wonder what I mean when I say those three little words, I want you to know that there is a universe of meaning in them. And still they mean exactly what they say.
I love you.
When you tell a joke and I laugh and say I love you, it means, "I love you," and also that I love your sense of humor, I love the way you make me smile, I love the way you make me feel happy and light inside.
Sometimes I say I love you when I want something. But it's more than just a ploy to get you to do what I want. It means, "I love you and I really appreciate all you do for me. I know that you do it because you love me and want to make me happy. And I love you for that."
Sometimes when I say I love you it means, "I feel so connected with you, that I just want to touch you; be held in your arms and embrace that connection." It's then that the feelings of love swell in my heart until I feel I'm going to burst. Sometimes when I say I love you, it's because I want you so close that it feels like there is only one of us. When I am inside of you, I want to know that you feel the connection too. This is when I want to look into your eyes when we make love. This is when the moment is all about us, and we need no words, no games, no props.
It's times like this that I feel the love welling up so strongly that I can't speak at all, or maybe only in a whisper. The love that I feel when we're together like this is cosmic and spiritual; it's physical and emotional. It moves me. It's more than the stimulation of body parts; it's the absolute trust that I place in you in that moment when my pleasure is in your hands. It is then that I present myself to you as my most vulnerable; that I offer myself to you without reserve.
Often it is then, that I offer you the part of me that most depends upon that trust, the part often coveted and desired, but not always given; my ass. It is a gift, not merely a taboo act of lust; it is a special offering which requires absolute faith on my part, and extra care and consideration on yours. And in this I find that my love grows with my ability to trust you to faithfully carry that out. And perhaps your love for me grows with my acceptance of you as you penetrate into this most delicate part of myself my heart.
When we lay together in the dewy mist of our consummation, our bodies slicked with sweat, our hair damp and our limbs too tired to move, my head floating dreamily on a cloud of contentment, I wrapped my arms around you, you feel safe and secure in my love. When the world disappears and there is only me holding you, and I say I love you, I mean simply that- I love you. Yet I also mean thank you for being you. I mean, it was more than good for me, it was great. I mean, I want to feel like this forever. I mean things for which not words have been invented. I mean, you are the world to me.
If you ever wonder what I mean when I say those three little words, I want you to know that there is a universe of meaning in them. And still they mean exactly what they say.
I love you.
LOVE: THE PEOPLE WHOM WE GET INVOLVED WITH....
We choose the people with whom we get involved..either consciously or unconsciously. They are mirror image of our interior landscape. So when we blame other for their failing, are we not blaming some part of ourselves? the thing that bother us the most about others people is usually something within ourselves? If you are irritated or upset by some body's behavior, if you find yourself being extremely reactive to your partner or another person, it is worthwhile to look within and find the part of yourself. When I am triggered by somebody, I ask the question of myself, what is it within me that is so reactive? It is not them,,, they are just being who they are. It is me...my feelings and reactivity. The thing of blaming our partner is that underneath it is the idea that if they would just change, we could finally be happy. You might as well put yourself in psychic jail and give the key to somebody else.
The time couple spend together produce happiness. We are looking at beautiful view, talking about meaningful things, enjoying nature...everything is perfect. Later, we might be stuck in traffic,and there is no reason that won't be perfect too. ...how? by accepting that everything passes: people, jobs, work, planets, Nothing last. Accept that basic truth and become free to enjoy what is here and now. Don't allow the mind to rob you of it.
The time couple spend together produce happiness. We are looking at beautiful view, talking about meaningful things, enjoying nature...everything is perfect. Later, we might be stuck in traffic,and there is no reason that won't be perfect too. ...how? by accepting that everything passes: people, jobs, work, planets, Nothing last. Accept that basic truth and become free to enjoy what is here and now. Don't allow the mind to rob you of it.
LOVE : AWAKE TO THE POSSIBILITY OF EXPRESSING LOVE
Love is a passive thing. Falling in love, feeling love, that is easy...an encounter with right and rare combination of luck and chemistry, and voila...you are in love. But learning how to express love and how to be loving, is an entirely different thing. There are times in the world when you will be without a partner. There are times when you feel very far from ever finding a partner. There are lonely times when you feel at best disconnected from the rest of the world and at worst like some kind of unlovable freak. But instead of waiting for love to show up in the form of your dream man or woman, instead of pining away in existential loneliness, try this instead: Drop your identification with your story that you need love from outside...know that you need nothing to experience love. All you need to do is move through the world, moment by moment. Awake to the possibility of expressing love. And then give it to every living being you encounter. Do it for an hour and see if it changes your mood. Increase the time you are in this loving awareness. That your heart is full.
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