LOVE: TO FEAR LOVE IS TO FEAR LIFE

To fear love is to fear life and those who fear life are already three parts dead.Love is what we want. Love is what we fear. We fear the loss of that love or engulfment so much that we don't let ourselves go there. We dance around it. We avoid it. We have been burned before, and we don't want to be burned again. It take courage to love. Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's doing something in spite of the fear. You love in spite of the knowledge that love will end, at the very least in death. If you are trying to prevent painful feelings, you will also prevent joyous ones. there is only on conduit to express feelings, and if it is contracted or blocked, then that's it.

But these are just thoughts. You don't have to go along for the ride.They come, they go, very much connected to our past experience. Very much connected to our story.My relationship with Melissa as a up and down, ins and out relationship. There were long and short period of separations...she would bail out and be mean to me after a few weeks of intense, sensational sex and incredible passion. We had spiritual affinity, intellectual sparks, and great sex...but none of it matter. Every time we cam together...she would leave. The last time when I told her we either get married or move on.... I remember Melissa would say to me "It's just that when we spend time together I'm really happy. When we are together it feel goods...but when I'm alone, all I can think about is the reasons why we shouldn't be together" Her heart was feeling great...her thinking...about it seem hopeless. I would tell her to stop listening to this litany of thoughts....recognize it as negative mind. In the end, her internal conflict was too much. When I had enough and she pulled the plug the last time...I thought it would be the most loving thing to do for myself ..is to get off the merry-go-around.

So how do you balance the head and the heart? How do you negotiate the chemical attraction, the need to bond, the mysterious pull toward certain people with the observant mind that can make a rational decision about which people to choose? The heart must be followed, for not to follow it would mean to shut down on some important level. It ours be a betrayal of ourselves to fear, and would affect us on a physical level.