Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was struck by the expression of her face, how she speaks, moves and look at me. Some quality of her beauty penetrates me and almost makes me ache, stirring a desire to reach out and contact her. I been in love before and no experience has ever made me feel so intensely alive, yet so confused and out of touch at the same time. I have no idea where this intensity of this feeling comes from, why it drives me as it does and where it will lead.
When I met a woman who attracted me, my desire for her is immediate and crippling--a hammer blow to the heart. In the beginning there is just that longing and the sense of myself as a starving orphan gazing through a window at a happy family sitting down to dinner.....i have to see her again and gain, to conquer her in different ways. It might take a few days to a few years
Even in my very first moment of attraction to a woman. I can sense a surrendering that must follow if I pursue her. In wanting to move toward her, I feel moved, in ways I cannot control. In wanting to reach out and touch her, I feel touched. If I open to my passion and let it move freely in me, it force me to let go, give in and feel raw and vulnerable I truly am. When passion pierces me and resonates through every fiber of my being. The surrender that passions calls for involves letting go of holding on: to myself--my fascination with being saved. Compassion...is born out of feeling the rawness of the heart..which makes us more sensitive to others. When I open my heart....a certain sweetness starts to flow from me last nectar.
Her face become more familiar to me than my own. I become as sensitive to her changing mood, and feeling as to my own. I share longing and cannot separate myself from her pain We have interpentrated too deeply fro me ever to be able to stand entirely separate from her again.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Thursday, October 31, 2013
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF YOU FINDING ME
What are the odds of you founding my profile and read my words...and you falling in love with me right there? What are the odds we`ve met before and not knowing it? How do I know you even exist, and that you`re looking for me? I think about you everyday, and I don`t even know who you are. I already love you. And so do you. You`ve watched the same movie you have thought about me (the man you will love one day) You`ve dreamed about me, and the way you want to touch me.You`ve slept in your bed, the way I do. Maybe when I laugh you suddenly get a chill. Maybe when I`m asleep, you`re awake wondering where I am in the world. When I`m coming, you`re going the other way. It`s you I adore, and the reason I wake up each day...is to find you. I can`t wait to find you and love you the way you should be loved.My way...so sweetly...so gracefully...so passionately. What are the odds of you even belonging to me, Or if I deserve you, the woman I haven`t seen? The woman who should be in my arms each night. The woman who should be there when I`m at my weakest moment. What are the odds of our souls being the same? Well, whatever the odds, I wait for you. I`ll wait for you. Whatever the odds may be.Wonderment of our first kiss would be sseems to invade every waking moment I have.Only taking my breath away and leaving me gasping to taste your lips again.Oh, love is truly my enemy and greatest comfort at the same time Rose pedals cover your breasts in a sunset's shadow in my dreams. Holding love in constant pause throughout the night that carries the moment deep into the heavens. You covers me with longing as your eyes caress ...the very essence of my soul. Angels dance to the sound of a single word uttered from your lips, While I, a mere mortal, am captured in its trance. I lay motionless until a single breath from you drives a sweet breeze into the depths of eternal bliss, I, then, see you melt into the morning...and know love.Life became so special and important to me because I now have a reason to live and that reason is you.You've shown me the way to happiness
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
POETRY: YOU ARE IN MY VEINS
I am penniless with not much to offer
But only these kind words for a divine soul.
So an attempt shall be made when about her I speak,
For an eternity of comparisons we may seek,
And still, shall we not find words that would hold.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold?
What words can be used to express her gracious laughter,
Which lingers in her company's heart far long after?
Whose glowing hair the angels use as a beacon,
and as time grows, this torch shall never weaken.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold,
To express the mere presence of her, lends to our essence console?
Michelangelo has captured this Earthly Angel from where he paints,
For he caught her reflection on the ceiling
and had mistaken her for one of the saints.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold?
Only these kind words I can offer the blessed one,
an eternity we shall spend, and still comparisons shall never be don
2
Listen to your heart, they say
But is that really true, I ask myself
Can one deny the flesh long enough
To make sense of what the heart is saying?
I want to believe my heart
The quiet murmur of love
The distant thunder of two heartbeats
Melted into one, the tender kisses on flush cheeks
Yes! That is the feeling of love
For me to have and to cherish
Yet! I wanted more; maybe the feeling of my skin
Flushed red hot like lava
Building and bubbling in my veins
The strain of my heart echoing for release
I want to feel my soul melting
Like jellybeans in the heat of summer
For once I wish not to listen to my heart
Instead I will go with the fire
Emanating from within my folds
Hunger for the touch, melting with the heat of desire
For now I will banish all thoughts
And react in the moment
I want my passion to burn beneath
The skins of the world
Scorching it with the heat of
Forget-me-not
3
Holding to a word, a sentence, a phrase.
Each day lusting you, joins the numberless days.
Slow is the pulse to my heart's drug.
A moment without you will be pulling the plug.
Face of beauty, eyes of stars.
Body as curved, as vines to bars.
Rose to the vision, smooth with her walk.
I know if i had a chance, I'd have to do more than talk.
Often I wondered, how much time was put to perfection.
But then I remember, why I'm drawn past her complexion.
Her mind keeps me connected at every text.
Having her thoughts, is like knowing what's next.
If only my word-work, was as good as her expectations.
And if only my appearance was as good as her aspirations.
Love wouldn't be enough to describe it.
It feels so good, your doctor has to prescribe it.
Feelings are mutual if you love me, too.
Save me you words 'cause this might speak for you.
4
Couples, hand in hand,
Looking, eye to eye.
Giggle, as they walk,
Happy, passing bye.
Smiling, ear to ear,
Hear it, what they say.
Loving from the dawn,
Throughout all the day.
But, you, you never look at me that way.
I never, ever hear you say
Those words to me.
But, you, I never, ever see you cry.
When I have to say goodbye,
It's just 'goodbye' to me.
Longing, for your touch,
Hoping, for your love.
Dreaming, I am
The man you're 'dreaming' of.
Can't you see it in my eyes
And hear in what I say?
These feelings won't just die
Or, softly fade away.
But, you, you never look at me the same.
To you, it's all a game,
With me, you play.
But, you, what more do I have to do?
All I want is to be with you...
Forever and a day.
5
do you know you’re in my veins?
if i were cut once more,
i would bleed the all the colors in you.
i’ve dissected my soul
to find your answers-
killed myself
to give your life a little meaning.
do you know you’re in my soul?
in everything i do,
every breath i take,
every choice i make,
you’re hidden around the corner.
you’re in my head,
you’re in my blood.
6
It's been so many years now, yet it seems just days ago.
That day we met eachother, then we said "I love you so."
It's amazing just how quickly, time has passed us by.
My life feels oh so perfect, for I have you by my side.
You have given me a love, I have never had before.
A cherishable romance, without an open door.
You've promised me your soul, and the world that we're a part.
Your forgiveness and your faithfulness is the kindness of your heart.
Today we are a couple, down the aisle we have wed.
Each night it makes me happy, having you beside me in our bed.
I wake up to a smile, and the love you have to share.
Each morning you say you love me and you'll always love me so.
At night you say you need me and you'll never let me go.
As much and true as that may be, I know one thing's for sure.
My heart beats fast as my love for you is much stronger than before.
But only these kind words for a divine soul.
So an attempt shall be made when about her I speak,
For an eternity of comparisons we may seek,
And still, shall we not find words that would hold.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold?
What words can be used to express her gracious laughter,
Which lingers in her company's heart far long after?
Whose glowing hair the angels use as a beacon,
and as time grows, this torch shall never weaken.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold,
To express the mere presence of her, lends to our essence console?
Michelangelo has captured this Earthly Angel from where he paints,
For he caught her reflection on the ceiling
and had mistaken her for one of the saints.
What words are worthy of a spirit with a brilliant heart of gold?
Only these kind words I can offer the blessed one,
an eternity we shall spend, and still comparisons shall never be don
2
Listen to your heart, they say
But is that really true, I ask myself
Can one deny the flesh long enough
To make sense of what the heart is saying?
I want to believe my heart
The quiet murmur of love
The distant thunder of two heartbeats
Melted into one, the tender kisses on flush cheeks
Yes! That is the feeling of love
For me to have and to cherish
Yet! I wanted more; maybe the feeling of my skin
Flushed red hot like lava
Building and bubbling in my veins
The strain of my heart echoing for release
I want to feel my soul melting
Like jellybeans in the heat of summer
For once I wish not to listen to my heart
Instead I will go with the fire
Emanating from within my folds
Hunger for the touch, melting with the heat of desire
For now I will banish all thoughts
And react in the moment
I want my passion to burn beneath
The skins of the world
Scorching it with the heat of
Forget-me-not
3
Holding to a word, a sentence, a phrase.
Each day lusting you, joins the numberless days.
Slow is the pulse to my heart's drug.
A moment without you will be pulling the plug.
Face of beauty, eyes of stars.
Body as curved, as vines to bars.
Rose to the vision, smooth with her walk.
I know if i had a chance, I'd have to do more than talk.
Often I wondered, how much time was put to perfection.
But then I remember, why I'm drawn past her complexion.
Her mind keeps me connected at every text.
Having her thoughts, is like knowing what's next.
If only my word-work, was as good as her expectations.
And if only my appearance was as good as her aspirations.
Love wouldn't be enough to describe it.
It feels so good, your doctor has to prescribe it.
Feelings are mutual if you love me, too.
Save me you words 'cause this might speak for you.
4
Couples, hand in hand,
Looking, eye to eye.
Giggle, as they walk,
Happy, passing bye.
Smiling, ear to ear,
Hear it, what they say.
Loving from the dawn,
Throughout all the day.
But, you, you never look at me that way.
I never, ever hear you say
Those words to me.
But, you, I never, ever see you cry.
When I have to say goodbye,
It's just 'goodbye' to me.
Longing, for your touch,
Hoping, for your love.
Dreaming, I am
The man you're 'dreaming' of.
Can't you see it in my eyes
And hear in what I say?
These feelings won't just die
Or, softly fade away.
But, you, you never look at me the same.
To you, it's all a game,
With me, you play.
But, you, what more do I have to do?
All I want is to be with you...
Forever and a day.
5
do you know you’re in my veins?
if i were cut once more,
i would bleed the all the colors in you.
i’ve dissected my soul
to find your answers-
killed myself
to give your life a little meaning.
do you know you’re in my soul?
in everything i do,
every breath i take,
every choice i make,
you’re hidden around the corner.
you’re in my head,
you’re in my blood.
6
It's been so many years now, yet it seems just days ago.
That day we met eachother, then we said "I love you so."
It's amazing just how quickly, time has passed us by.
My life feels oh so perfect, for I have you by my side.
You have given me a love, I have never had before.
A cherishable romance, without an open door.
You've promised me your soul, and the world that we're a part.
Your forgiveness and your faithfulness is the kindness of your heart.
Today we are a couple, down the aisle we have wed.
Each night it makes me happy, having you beside me in our bed.
I wake up to a smile, and the love you have to share.
Each morning you say you love me and you'll always love me so.
At night you say you need me and you'll never let me go.
As much and true as that may be, I know one thing's for sure.
My heart beats fast as my love for you is much stronger than before.
SURRENDER: ITS ALL ABOUT TRUST
I go into the dating world with good intentions to find someone who has all the characteristics I wants in a partner. I makes a list of these characteristics and each potential woman is measured against her ability to fit into my complicated jigsaw puzzle of the perfect girl. And of course, nobody fits.I begin to feels hopeless that there's “no one out there,” but really the terror of risking my heart keeps me from acknowledging that any woman might be right. My good intentions cover my fear. Nobody wants to have his heart broken, so it's sensible to want to protect yourself. But repeatedly searching for a partner and never finding one feels awful.T
Admitting that I craved a wonderful woman and surrendering to that desire put me at risk of heartbreak. It was also the critical first step of embarking on what has turned out to be a remarkable love story that has lasted more than twelve years and seems very likely to last a lifetime.
When I mention the word surrender it scary people but surrendering in a relationship doesn't mean you say, "OK, you win, I give up, I'll do whatever you want." That may be surrender in battle, but a relationship is not a battleground. Surrender in a relationship means to give up your preconceptions of what another person is, but to remain committed to that person.
In relationship, you have to have the kind of receptiveness that enables you to perceive your partner really is. But in order to do so, you must first become open, empty, and very vulnerable.Many people would like to be this way but don't dare; the thought of being that vulnerable is too frightening. They think, "I can't be so trusting or I might be hurt and taken advantage of. How can I be sure I'm not losing control or surrendering to the wrong person?"In other words, they are asking, "How do I get a handle on being surrendered? How can I control it, guide it? How can I be sure that I'm not surrendering indiscriminately?" Obviously, surrender requires definition.You need to be like that: "designated vacuums," allowing ourselves to be open, but very specifically, drawing in only what is meant to be drawn in. Just as a hypodermic needle focuses on what is meant to enter the vacuum, so, too, we should not permit ourselves indiscriminate surrender in the sense of abandonment, but "focused" surrender.The important word here is surrender, so let's take a closer look. Philosophically speaking, everything in this world is both a recipient and a donor, taking in what is above and giving to what is below. In order to receive, there has to be an emptiness that allows whatever is going to come in to do so. Giving, on the other hand, requires fullness. A pitcher is better able to pour when full; a cup is better able to receive when empty.A teacher is better able to give when she's filled with knowledge. A student is better able to absorb when he has emptied his mind and opened himself to the lesson. So, although it seems paradoxical, an empty mind is a receptive mind.
The same is true in establishing an intimate relationship with another person. If you want to allow someone into your life, and accept them as they really are, you have to become open, receptive, and surrendered.That's the only way you can really know another person, when you are completely open to who they are. You have to allow yourself to be open, but in a way that is discriminating. If you are indiscriminate in your surrender, if you surrender to anyone and everyone, you have a good reason to be frightened. You are much too vulnerable. If you have no borders or definition to your life, then you have no security either. Discriminating surrender, focused surrender, is the kind of surrender to strive for.
I
Only thing you get from trying to manage the people around you is the guarantee that you will never find intimacy. Vulnerability makes us approachable and attractive because it's a gift to the person we're with. It's an unspoken compliment that says, “I trust you to be gentle when I put down my armor. I feel safe with you.” When someone gives me such a gift, my instinct is to be tender so as to reassure her that I understand the honor. Vulnerability will draw me to someone in a way that appearing invincible never could because I identify with the humanity and authenticity. Once you have someone's empathy, there's only one way for them to interact with you: with compassion.
In my experience..most woman wear a “Do not disturb” sign that keeps alot of men from approaching them. You could be in a room with 100 great, available guys, but if you’re sending out a businesslike “I’m busy” vibe it won’t matter because that will keep you from connecting with any of them. Openness is the key.emotional vulnerability is the glue that binds a couple So many woman have this "I don't need anybody to take care of me” I wish most woman would turn off their ambition and bossiness and relax into their feminine grace.The word “surrender” is frightening to some because it calls to mind losing a battle or spinelessness. When a single woman surrenders she doesn't try to manipulate a man to express his feelings, devotion or commitment because she knows that would render his words meaningless. It creates the same kind of tension and frustration as when you twist someone's arm to do something rather than letting him decide when and how he wants to do it. Surrendering isn't about being so desperate you'll go out with just anyone. I hate when I read in woman's profile , “I'm pretty happy being single. I'm not lonely or anything.” But if that were true, why are you here? Sure, it feels less vulnerable to be able to say that you're completely content being single. You may think the take-charge thing to do when you haven't met the right man is to act like you're not interested in men because you're so fulfilled in your career, or so busy with stuff. Why not just admitting there's a hole in your heart exposes you. We all want to be perceived as independent and strong and when we admit loneliness, we fear that people will think we're less self-sufficient—or even worse, that they'll feel sorry for us.To me lying to yourself is a form of control. Not taking that risk is a way of trying to stay in control. Ironically, denying what you really want so you can avoid possible hurt puts youself even further away from getting what you want and more in the face of the pain. Admit like me that you crave love.
In my experience..most woman wear a “Do not disturb” sign that keeps alot of men from approaching them. You could be in a room with 100 great, available guys, but if you’re sending out a businesslike “I’m busy” vibe it won’t matter because that will keep you from connecting with any of them. Openness is the key.emotional vulnerability is the glue that binds a couple So many woman have this "I don't need anybody to take care of me” I wish most woman would turn off their ambition and bossiness and relax into their feminine grace.The word “surrender” is frightening to some because it calls to mind losing a battle or spinelessness. When a single woman surrenders she doesn't try to manipulate a man to express his feelings, devotion or commitment because she knows that would render his words meaningless. It creates the same kind of tension and frustration as when you twist someone's arm to do something rather than letting him decide when and how he wants to do it. Surrendering isn't about being so desperate you'll go out with just anyone. I hate when I read in woman's profile , “I'm pretty happy being single. I'm not lonely or anything.” But if that were true, why are you here? Sure, it feels less vulnerable to be able to say that you're completely content being single. You may think the take-charge thing to do when you haven't met the right man is to act like you're not interested in men because you're so fulfilled in your career, or so busy with stuff. Why not just admitting there's a hole in your heart exposes you. We all want to be perceived as independent and strong and when we admit loneliness, we fear that people will think we're less self-sufficient—or even worse, that they'll feel sorry for us.To me lying to yourself is a form of control. Not taking that risk is a way of trying to stay in control. Ironically, denying what you really want so you can avoid possible hurt puts youself even further away from getting what you want and more in the face of the pain. Admit like me that you crave love.
Admitting that I craved a wonderful woman and surrendering to that desire put me at risk of heartbreak. It was also the critical first step of embarking on what has turned out to be a remarkable love story that has lasted more than twelve years and seems very likely to last a lifetime.
When I mention the word surrender it scary people but surrendering in a relationship doesn't mean you say, "OK, you win, I give up, I'll do whatever you want." That may be surrender in battle, but a relationship is not a battleground. Surrender in a relationship means to give up your preconceptions of what another person is, but to remain committed to that person.
In relationship, you have to have the kind of receptiveness that enables you to perceive your partner really is. But in order to do so, you must first become open, empty, and very vulnerable.Many people would like to be this way but don't dare; the thought of being that vulnerable is too frightening. They think, "I can't be so trusting or I might be hurt and taken advantage of. How can I be sure I'm not losing control or surrendering to the wrong person?"In other words, they are asking, "How do I get a handle on being surrendered? How can I control it, guide it? How can I be sure that I'm not surrendering indiscriminately?" Obviously, surrender requires definition.You need to be like that: "designated vacuums," allowing ourselves to be open, but very specifically, drawing in only what is meant to be drawn in. Just as a hypodermic needle focuses on what is meant to enter the vacuum, so, too, we should not permit ourselves indiscriminate surrender in the sense of abandonment, but "focused" surrender.The important word here is surrender, so let's take a closer look. Philosophically speaking, everything in this world is both a recipient and a donor, taking in what is above and giving to what is below. In order to receive, there has to be an emptiness that allows whatever is going to come in to do so. Giving, on the other hand, requires fullness. A pitcher is better able to pour when full; a cup is better able to receive when empty.A teacher is better able to give when she's filled with knowledge. A student is better able to absorb when he has emptied his mind and opened himself to the lesson. So, although it seems paradoxical, an empty mind is a receptive mind.
The same is true in establishing an intimate relationship with another person. If you want to allow someone into your life, and accept them as they really are, you have to become open, receptive, and surrendered.That's the only way you can really know another person, when you are completely open to who they are. You have to allow yourself to be open, but in a way that is discriminating. If you are indiscriminate in your surrender, if you surrender to anyone and everyone, you have a good reason to be frightened. You are much too vulnerable. If you have no borders or definition to your life, then you have no security either. Discriminating surrender, focused surrender, is the kind of surrender to strive for.
I
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE A VOID WAS FILLED
Dear Soulmate
I've felt this empty place inside almost all my life but when I met you a void was filled. A loneliness so unbearable,a love so close to touch, my mind hysterical,I love you so much. I wake up each morning with you on my mind and I keep on living the whole day this way, thinking about you just wanting to say...I love you. And I wonder, do you feel the same or am I gonna be alone, time and time again, My prayers have been answered. My angel has fallen into my arms and into my heart, Your are the one, my one true love. You are the girl of my dreams, you are,My Angel! I wrote your name on the sand but the waves washed it away.I wrote your name in the clouds,but the wind blew it away.I wrote your name in my heart and forever will it stay. My love when you feel lonely and feel like no cares..do me a favor and go out into the darkened night, look at the shiny light in heaven's sky so bright. I just wish I was there with you tonight to show you my love for you is pure and so very right. You will see the precious stars looking down on you, they will send you a message from me to you. They will let you know that I am thinking of you and they will let you know how much I love you. They will tell you how much I want to be with you more than anything in the world, my love .You're my true destination of living and my passion for life, my miracle of dreams, my heart melts deeply and passionately for you. My soul is flammable with rage and passion for you. Essentially, I love you. I trace your lips With my finger And watch your eyes speak. They say, "Do you love me? Will you stand by me? Can you be trusted? I'll die if you're lying." Oh, dearest, take my heart.Take my life, my soul, my essence. One "us" is greater than two of anything else. Have my children. Let's grow old together. Let's laugh, cry and love. Please believe me. Essentially, I love you.
I've felt this empty place inside almost all my life but when I met you a void was filled. A loneliness so unbearable,a love so close to touch, my mind hysterical,I love you so much. I wake up each morning with you on my mind and I keep on living the whole day this way, thinking about you just wanting to say...I love you. And I wonder, do you feel the same or am I gonna be alone, time and time again, My prayers have been answered. My angel has fallen into my arms and into my heart, Your are the one, my one true love. You are the girl of my dreams, you are,My Angel! I wrote your name on the sand but the waves washed it away.I wrote your name in the clouds,but the wind blew it away.I wrote your name in my heart and forever will it stay. My love when you feel lonely and feel like no cares..do me a favor and go out into the darkened night, look at the shiny light in heaven's sky so bright. I just wish I was there with you tonight to show you my love for you is pure and so very right. You will see the precious stars looking down on you, they will send you a message from me to you. They will let you know that I am thinking of you and they will let you know how much I love you. They will tell you how much I want to be with you more than anything in the world, my love .You're my true destination of living and my passion for life, my miracle of dreams, my heart melts deeply and passionately for you. My soul is flammable with rage and passion for you. Essentially, I love you. I trace your lips With my finger And watch your eyes speak. They say, "Do you love me? Will you stand by me? Can you be trusted? I'll die if you're lying." Oh, dearest, take my heart.Take my life, my soul, my essence. One "us" is greater than two of anything else. Have my children. Let's grow old together. Let's laugh, cry and love. Please believe me. Essentially, I love you.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: MY LOVE
My Love,
The reason I stay up thinking of you at two in the morning because holding in my heart memories is us, you turned me into an insomniac.Reminiscing about you and I, you truly got my mind storming.What would I possibly give you in return for all your Love? What would a man like me sacrifice in place of his redemption? I could spend sleepless nights seeking the answers from above, but the reality is- you've already given me a standing ovation.My delectable darling, all I really need to do is this...bring you near, hold you closer and whisper in your ear to thank you for keeping my heart at peace and at ease.Always ready to walk tall and face challenges without fear. Honey, I'm honored you chose me as the man of your dreams.Our Love is all we will need as the solution, the ultimate answer.You are my beloved dream girl and voice of reason. The one who I will hold so dearly through every season till eternity this and only this will be my ultimate mission to Love you unconditionally and with all completion. Can I keep you by side and never let you go,Can I keep you close to me in either rain, sleet, or snow,Can I keep you where you can be with me and I can be with you,so we can look at the sky and find out if our dreams will come true. Can I keep you and tell you what my heart feels, because by now you should know I am head over heels over you.At night, when dreams sometimes aren't enough...I go to that place in my heart where I know you are, At mornings first light, and I can't see your smile...I go to that place in my heart where I know you are to greet me each day.Holding you in my arms and listening to you breath,that's when I realize you're everything to me.You kiss the tears from my face,with your gentle loving touch. Each day I find I love you more when already I love you so much. The moments we share together are priceless memories, sharing thoughts, ideas, and intimacy.Life may not always be easy,Yet, one thing I vow to do love you forever and to you be true. I have faith and trust now because of you...Two things I thought I could never do.yet, you showed me in the purest way and our faith and love grows stronger each day. You taught me the truth about life and love, about kindness, understanding. To live with you forever is what I plan to do. Words cannot describe the happiness I feel. I have waited such a long time to feel alive and real. Being with you, darling, I feel complete, alive, and whole.I love you, my dearest darling, more than you may ever know.
JOURNAL: BACK FROM FLORIDA
I came back from Florida on Monday.. I had a great time. It was very hard to go to work again. Home insurance went up a lot. I think I might actually try speed dating.
Monday, October 28, 2013
LOVE/DATING/JOURNAL: THE DEAL BREAKER FOR ME
I know the characteristics that are deal breakers for me - they are all the internal ones. I personally think my standards are rather high, yet I didn't have such a long list. My expectations could be stated rather simply. I wanted a person I found
(1) Who take care of themselve physically
(2) Intelligent enough to hold an interesting conversation
(3) honest
(4) to be sexually interesting.
(5)kind
The external pieces of the puzzle will vary. Of course I would like someone HOT - and I did married one and later divorced. And what I learn is I would never sacrifice the internal things in order to get someone beautiful. For me - falling for the internal person always makes the external body attractive! :)
At some point the bond of a relationship starts to supersede the physical bond of sexual attraction, so even when looks fade, the two are just as drawn to each other as they were at the beginning of their relationship. But this is something that takes time to build (years even).
I'm happy being me, so I don't need another person to ``complete me.'' There's a difference between compromising your standards and looking for someone you could only find if you were able to order a mate from a factory and select features you think you would like to have. The latter may be a fantasy, but like most fantasies, would not be as much fun in real life if it were realized. The women I date in long-term relationships are higher quality If I was looking for short-term hookup my standards fall. I am done with short term relationships...I am older now.
(1) Who take care of themselve physically
(2) Intelligent enough to hold an interesting conversation
(3) honest
(4) to be sexually interesting.
(5)kind
The external pieces of the puzzle will vary. Of course I would like someone HOT - and I did married one and later divorced. And what I learn is I would never sacrifice the internal things in order to get someone beautiful. For me - falling for the internal person always makes the external body attractive! :)
At some point the bond of a relationship starts to supersede the physical bond of sexual attraction, so even when looks fade, the two are just as drawn to each other as they were at the beginning of their relationship. But this is something that takes time to build (years even).
I'm happy being me, so I don't need another person to ``complete me.'' There's a difference between compromising your standards and looking for someone you could only find if you were able to order a mate from a factory and select features you think you would like to have. The latter may be a fantasy, but like most fantasies, would not be as much fun in real life if it were realized. The women I date in long-term relationships are higher quality If I was looking for short-term hookup my standards fall. I am done with short term relationships...I am older now.
DATING/JOURNAL: THIS STUPID DATING GAME
When you are single, three things you don't have time for: wasting your time, money and heart. You start to weigh every option in your head, even before you ask a person out on a date! It's like you see all these paths in your head and try to see where they could end up even before they start, like you are playing "The Game of Life" or something! It sounds weird, but but I do it all the time. Example: You meet a person, they start to talk about themselves. They are Divorced, no kids, College Grad, they attend church, but not deep in it. They have a couple tattoos, drink & go out socially from time to time, has a close family and a few close friends. OK, so I look at it like this! You are Divorced...WHAT HAPPENED? Are you over them? You are in church, but not DEEP in church? How strong is your relationship with Christ? You drink socially, could that turn into a BIG PROBLEM LATER? It's all those things that come to mind the older you get in dating because one thing you don't have time for is DRAMA!
I’ve gone through all the major (and some minor) dating sites off and on over the past few years and I feel like I am constantly reading the same profiles over and over and emailing any and all the possible “matches” with little to no results. (Hmm, time to re-evaluate my methods.) After a few months on a site it feels like I’m getting nowhere and I want to just cut off my accounts, but I tend to stick it out. You never know, my searching might one day end up connecting me to someone really great. And I’ll never know if I don’t at least try. It IS tiring, but I press on. Some days I feel like I’ve done a marathon of in-depth window shopping and some days I just click through whomever the site deems worthy as a “match” and take a break from my own searches. It’s difficult meeting like-minded people in our culture and I am just trying to do my best to put myself out there, whether it feels exhausting or not. At least I’m trying! But you get tired of meeting people, tired of spending money, tired of online searches, tired of wanting to like someone and not, tired of not being excited about anyone, tired of people asking how it went, tired of being rejected, tired of having to reject someone else, just tired, tired, tired.
Nobody gets married if you don’t go on a date, and you have to go meet people to do that. But the truth is that it can be exhausting.For starters we are all busy and we don’t want to waste time dating people we aren’t interested in. More than that though, as you get older, you don’t have as much time to play around. If I’m 25 I can kind of ride something out for a few dates, but honestly now not as much, or at least it feels like it.
But most of all, gearing up for hope, and then having it not go anywhere is just emotionally tiring.
I’ve gone through all the major (and some minor) dating sites off and on over the past few years and I feel like I am constantly reading the same profiles over and over and emailing any and all the possible “matches” with little to no results. (Hmm, time to re-evaluate my methods.) After a few months on a site it feels like I’m getting nowhere and I want to just cut off my accounts, but I tend to stick it out. You never know, my searching might one day end up connecting me to someone really great. And I’ll never know if I don’t at least try. It IS tiring, but I press on. Some days I feel like I’ve done a marathon of in-depth window shopping and some days I just click through whomever the site deems worthy as a “match” and take a break from my own searches. It’s difficult meeting like-minded people in our culture and I am just trying to do my best to put myself out there, whether it feels exhausting or not. At least I’m trying! But you get tired of meeting people, tired of spending money, tired of online searches, tired of wanting to like someone and not, tired of not being excited about anyone, tired of people asking how it went, tired of being rejected, tired of having to reject someone else, just tired, tired, tired.
Nobody gets married if you don’t go on a date, and you have to go meet people to do that. But the truth is that it can be exhausting.For starters we are all busy and we don’t want to waste time dating people we aren’t interested in. More than that though, as you get older, you don’t have as much time to play around. If I’m 25 I can kind of ride something out for a few dates, but honestly now not as much, or at least it feels like it.
But most of all, gearing up for hope, and then having it not go anywhere is just emotionally tiring.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE..I HAVE A DREAM
Dear Soulmate,
I had a dream that love was kind and nothing could come between us... ever. I dreamed that you were here and I was in your arms and nothing would break us apart. i dreamed that we would be bound to a love unheard of unspoken of, one of a kind- powerful love and it has all come true, the bond between me and you. The dream I dreamed is now reality. Thousands of places out there. Thousands of faces that I've seen.Thousands of voices I've heard. Thousands of feelings that are going on inside. There are thousands of places where I want to be in this big world, but there is only one place where I want to be for the rest of my life This place is with you, my true sweetheart . Since there are thousands of faces out there that I will see, but there is simply one face that makes me happy to see every time we hang out and that face is yours, my love. When there are thousands of different voices out there in the world, but there is just one special voice that I want to hear and that voice makes me happy every time I hear it and that voice belongs to you. Inside me I have thousands of feelings that are going on in my mind but there is only one feeling that I know won t make me confused, and that feeling is that I love you! As I stare out of my window into the night...my thoughts of you linger in my mind and I wondering where you are.What you are doing and if you're thinking about me. Longing to be there Beside you. Inside you- into your mind's inner thoughts Realizing that my dreams are you and that yours are of me. I wish to fly into your room like an angel of love. to stroke your hair and touch your face...to lay beside you and let you awaken, and find me there and having you gaze into my eyes. Your thoughts averted mine, Gave a few novel notions.You reinstalled my mind,Gave it a distinct shape and meaning. You changed my life completely, Given it a new variety. You are my torch that made my life devoid of darkness.
I had a dream that love was kind and nothing could come between us... ever. I dreamed that you were here and I was in your arms and nothing would break us apart. i dreamed that we would be bound to a love unheard of unspoken of, one of a kind- powerful love and it has all come true, the bond between me and you. The dream I dreamed is now reality. Thousands of places out there. Thousands of faces that I've seen.Thousands of voices I've heard. Thousands of feelings that are going on inside. There are thousands of places where I want to be in this big world, but there is only one place where I want to be for the rest of my life This place is with you, my true sweetheart . Since there are thousands of faces out there that I will see, but there is simply one face that makes me happy to see every time we hang out and that face is yours, my love. When there are thousands of different voices out there in the world, but there is just one special voice that I want to hear and that voice makes me happy every time I hear it and that voice belongs to you. Inside me I have thousands of feelings that are going on in my mind but there is only one feeling that I know won t make me confused, and that feeling is that I love you! As I stare out of my window into the night...my thoughts of you linger in my mind and I wondering where you are.What you are doing and if you're thinking about me. Longing to be there Beside you. Inside you- into your mind's inner thoughts Realizing that my dreams are you and that yours are of me. I wish to fly into your room like an angel of love. to stroke your hair and touch your face...to lay beside you and let you awaken, and find me there and having you gaze into my eyes. Your thoughts averted mine, Gave a few novel notions.You reinstalled my mind,Gave it a distinct shape and meaning. You changed my life completely, Given it a new variety. You are my torch that made my life devoid of darkness.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE.
Dear Soulmate
I have waited all my life to see your delicate smile to feel your warm, embracive touch. To hear your beautiful, soothing voice To smell your soft, flowing hair. To taste the bitter-sweet wine on your lips. To witness your affectionate love. To declare your radiant beauty.To bask in your ever-awing presence. To talk about your friendly compassion. And most of all...to be the one you love and cherish for all my life on earth for I have more love for you than all stars in the great beyond. The safest place of my heart is where I keep your love.The valuable place of my life is where I feed your thought. Letting this desire consume me of it is the sweetest thing I've ever done.The sweetest memory of my life is what I'm sharing with you. Giving you the best I have is the deepest feeling I've ever felt. I'm waiting to be in your arms to feel the peace again. I'm waiting to feel your eyes,feel them with mine. Just waiting for the touch of your lips to taste of sweet perfectness. Waiting for the grasp of your hand to know I have something to hold...just waiting for YOU! You're my only reason,..my only breath.You're my season of love that keeps me from death. I could live life with your presence. very day, the love is better than it was the day before. It's music to my ears to hear each "I love you" from you.You are in every breath I take and in every tear I cry;You're in every star I wish upon up in the lonely sky. Every day with you is heaven, like an angel from above. A million magic moments sent-- to give you all my love. You are living proof that prayers and dreams really do come true, and I thank God for that special day he blessed my heart with you. I could speak of a thousand promises or even bet my very soul the rest of my life, I'll be touched with a feeling no one can control. Fate, destiny or magic may be the reason that we met, but all I know is the days with you I never will forget. Until the day I found you I never knew a love so true, but from today until eternity I swear I'll be loving you
I have waited all my life to see your delicate smile to feel your warm, embracive touch. To hear your beautiful, soothing voice To smell your soft, flowing hair. To taste the bitter-sweet wine on your lips. To witness your affectionate love. To declare your radiant beauty.To bask in your ever-awing presence. To talk about your friendly compassion. And most of all...to be the one you love and cherish for all my life on earth for I have more love for you than all stars in the great beyond. The safest place of my heart is where I keep your love.The valuable place of my life is where I feed your thought. Letting this desire consume me of it is the sweetest thing I've ever done.The sweetest memory of my life is what I'm sharing with you. Giving you the best I have is the deepest feeling I've ever felt. I'm waiting to be in your arms to feel the peace again. I'm waiting to feel your eyes,feel them with mine. Just waiting for the touch of your lips to taste of sweet perfectness. Waiting for the grasp of your hand to know I have something to hold...just waiting for YOU! You're my only reason,..my only breath.You're my season of love that keeps me from death. I could live life with your presence. very day, the love is better than it was the day before. It's music to my ears to hear each "I love you" from you.You are in every breath I take and in every tear I cry;You're in every star I wish upon up in the lonely sky. Every day with you is heaven, like an angel from above. A million magic moments sent-- to give you all my love. You are living proof that prayers and dreams really do come true, and I thank God for that special day he blessed my heart with you. I could speak of a thousand promises or even bet my very soul the rest of my life, I'll be touched with a feeling no one can control. Fate, destiny or magic may be the reason that we met, but all I know is the days with you I never will forget. Until the day I found you I never knew a love so true, but from today until eternity I swear I'll be loving you
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE...REMIND ME PLEASE
Dear Soulmate,
Remind me, please, of my humbleness when I forget the joy of it. Remind me of the sacredness of all things when I take them for granted. Remind me of the beauty of all beings when I judge them in my mind. Remind me that all is love when I create the illusion of hatred. Remind me of the temporality of material things when I cling to them.Remind me that I am alive when I forget that I am breathing. Remind me that I am not alone when I create despair and sorrow. Remind me to look at the sky when I’ve forgotten about the immensity of my heart.Remind me to surrender, when I try to hide from true happiness. . Remind me of the power of choice when I forget that I am creating my reality. Remind me that you love me when I think there is no more hope. Remind me to be kind when someone is being mean. Remind me to smile when I see a child pass by.Remind me to cry when I believe I am in control of things.Remind me to merge with you when I think separateness exists.Remind me to serve my friends when I think they should be serving me.Remind me to learn when I think I am the only teacher.Remind me of the perfection of all and everything when I forget who I am. And please, remind me that with whatever choice I make, no matter how much I forget… Remind me that I AM your Soulmate forever.
Remind me, please, of my humbleness when I forget the joy of it. Remind me of the sacredness of all things when I take them for granted. Remind me of the beauty of all beings when I judge them in my mind. Remind me that all is love when I create the illusion of hatred. Remind me of the temporality of material things when I cling to them.Remind me that I am alive when I forget that I am breathing. Remind me that I am not alone when I create despair and sorrow. Remind me to look at the sky when I’ve forgotten about the immensity of my heart.Remind me to surrender, when I try to hide from true happiness. . Remind me of the power of choice when I forget that I am creating my reality. Remind me that you love me when I think there is no more hope. Remind me to be kind when someone is being mean. Remind me to smile when I see a child pass by.Remind me to cry when I believe I am in control of things.Remind me to merge with you when I think separateness exists.Remind me to serve my friends when I think they should be serving me.Remind me to learn when I think I am the only teacher.Remind me of the perfection of all and everything when I forget who I am. And please, remind me that with whatever choice I make, no matter how much I forget… Remind me that I AM your Soulmate forever.
DATING/LOVE: WOMAN ARE AS SHALLOW AS MEN...BUT LIE ABOUT IT
I’ve been thinking about something a friend said to me. It left a large enough impression obviously, to evoke some thought. During a discussion, He had said something along the lines of, “There aren’t many women with their act together these days” And he was right. If you look at most woman profile, most of them are not educated, don't have a career but only a job, and don't know how to handle money. Yet...most of them want a tall, handsome, funny, thoughtful, attentive, rich, high-status, fun, confident not arrogant, sweet but with and edge. If you turn the table around and as some womans I know who who have spent their lives studying and working hard to climb up their career ladder and are pretty successful and tell them to go for a guy with no job or no prospect of getting one, who has no home of his own, who’s divorced with children e.t.c, I don’t think that I would give such advice cause it doesn’t seem fair to me and if I was in their shoes, I’m not sure that I’d compromise so far.
Anyone can dream anything they want, and most dreams remain just that - DREAMS. I can dream of winning the lottery - but is it likely? No (especially since I don't even do it ;) By far the majority of people rate themselves above average in any department you care to mention; looks, intelligence, desirability, sense of humour...ability to drive, whatever. So, (simplifying) everyone thinks they are above average and thus they are looking for above average because they DESERVE it dammit!; But the truth is "You attract what you are" If you are not attracting what you want, you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself some very tough questions. What do I have to offer? Is that attractive to the type of guys I want? What do I need to do to improve myself for me to get what I want. No it is not easy but it is beneficial as you end up better off in the end.
Women want so much in men they forget to take a closer look at themselves.....alot of the things your looking for are present in everyman and are simply manifested in different ways and to different degrees.....being "in love" must mean meeting someone who might not necessarily tick all the boxes but who will treat you right.......all the things you desire in someone else you can bring out in yourself.I don't think "love" has anything to do with standards..it transcends that sort of bullshit
Yet alot of woman are imbued with rage when they see high-value men near their age still dating women who are much younger, thus declaring all men shallow and not worthy of their spit.
Women have this enormous checklist by which they evaluate men, and as they get older, rather than relax their standards a bit, they continue to peruse the same checklist, looking for that perfect man.
It’s a catch-22 proposition though. These perfect men they so desire will, by their very perceived perfection and “high market value”, be able to date much younger women. Why date a 30 year old when you can still date a 25 year old just as easily? The ones who can’t attract younger women just as easily will be the leftovers such older women STILL reject, because they’re fat, bald, stuck in dead-end jobs, etc. Who’s being shallow again?
I think because it goes that the best chance a woman has to marry and find a suitable man is during her most attractive years, but too many spend those years investing in careers and completely blowing off men, thinking they’ll be just as attractive in their 30s as they were in their 20s, but when they find they don’t nearly draw men the way they used to, well, they go cray cray with rage and bitterness. It’s another reason why it’s good to marry early, and when you’re in an environment where you’re surrounded by tons of single men.
This is what bothers me. It’s not that I don’t mind women disqualifying men based on things that could be considered shallow (such as the guy’s eye color or height.) We all have our preferences and ideals. It’s that they LIE about this, painting themselves as moral queens who insist they are attracted to men based on their virtues, whereas men use looks, (and ONLY looks) to evaluate suitable women.
Attraction and evaluation are two different things though When it comes to pure attraction, men are visually oriented. Women can’t seem to abide by this, but it’s a scientific fact. It’s how we’re wired. Even worse, women may deny (in order to maintain their moral superiority complex) that they are not visually oriented, despite rejecting men who are short, have balding hair and a flabby body. On top of this, society (as driven by feminism) perpetuates the lie that women are attracted to men based on virtue, being emotionally sensitive, and being respectful of women (which really means pedestalizing them and supplicating their every desire). You know, the NICE GUY.
I used to fall for that women aren’t so hung up on looks, but after you see enough fat or bald or otherwise ugly men getting nuclearly rejected, it’s obvious looks matter just as much to women.
I always thought being a nice guy, showing chivalry and maturity, giving girls flowers, being romantic, etc. attracted women, but it doesn’t. They kept insisting that this is what attracts them to men, so I kept doing it, and yet still continued to see women fall for the worst elements on earth. Are they just being immature? Yes, but it’s more than that, and once I understood, I finally realized there was an inherent logic to seeing them fall for the biker dude or the guy who just got out of prison after all, and no longer took it personally. What I didn’t understand before is all those things that I did that women told me they loved is not what sexually attracts women. They may find these things ADMIRABLE, but it does NOT sexually attract them. I had to already be attractive to a girl for things like maturity, romance and so on to really pay off in a relationship. They are important to building a long lasting marriage, but they don’t induce attraction.
The real truth (in a nutshell) is that women are attracted to men who are strong and dominant. A nice guy can be strong and dominant, but usually they unwittingly present themselves as being wussies, which is a major turnoff. Showing how sensitive you are by bawling your eyes out watching Sleepless in Seattle does not attract women. They are actually repulsed by this. Yet because we’ve been told over and over that women are attracted to a man’s “heart” and the notion of being attracted to someone who projects masculine strength and leadership is sexist, this simple but suppressed truth flies over the head of many clueless men (including me as well.)
Women do like maturity, and that the smart ones make this a huge qualifier when seeking a good husband, but maturity doesn’t sexually attract a woman to a man either. You see how I’m making a distinction here?
Going back to the age thing, women who are younger have a higher sexual allure than older women do. Decent men will still gravitate to younger women in general because it’s a biological impulse, but some of them will just throw up their hands in frustration when the younger ones continue to prove themselves as immature, self absorbed, etc., and thus obviously wouldn’t make good wives, so they date older women, (so long as they still find such women sexually attractive).
Anyone can dream anything they want, and most dreams remain just that - DREAMS. I can dream of winning the lottery - but is it likely? No (especially since I don't even do it ;) By far the majority of people rate themselves above average in any department you care to mention; looks, intelligence, desirability, sense of humour...ability to drive, whatever. So, (simplifying) everyone thinks they are above average and thus they are looking for above average because they DESERVE it dammit!; But the truth is "You attract what you are" If you are not attracting what you want, you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself some very tough questions. What do I have to offer? Is that attractive to the type of guys I want? What do I need to do to improve myself for me to get what I want. No it is not easy but it is beneficial as you end up better off in the end.
Women want so much in men they forget to take a closer look at themselves.....alot of the things your looking for are present in everyman and are simply manifested in different ways and to different degrees.....being "in love" must mean meeting someone who might not necessarily tick all the boxes but who will treat you right.......all the things you desire in someone else you can bring out in yourself.I don't think "love" has anything to do with standards..it transcends that sort of bullshit
Yet alot of woman are imbued with rage when they see high-value men near their age still dating women who are much younger, thus declaring all men shallow and not worthy of their spit.
Women have this enormous checklist by which they evaluate men, and as they get older, rather than relax their standards a bit, they continue to peruse the same checklist, looking for that perfect man.
It’s a catch-22 proposition though. These perfect men they so desire will, by their very perceived perfection and “high market value”, be able to date much younger women. Why date a 30 year old when you can still date a 25 year old just as easily? The ones who can’t attract younger women just as easily will be the leftovers such older women STILL reject, because they’re fat, bald, stuck in dead-end jobs, etc. Who’s being shallow again?
I think because it goes that the best chance a woman has to marry and find a suitable man is during her most attractive years, but too many spend those years investing in careers and completely blowing off men, thinking they’ll be just as attractive in their 30s as they were in their 20s, but when they find they don’t nearly draw men the way they used to, well, they go cray cray with rage and bitterness. It’s another reason why it’s good to marry early, and when you’re in an environment where you’re surrounded by tons of single men.
This is what bothers me. It’s not that I don’t mind women disqualifying men based on things that could be considered shallow (such as the guy’s eye color or height.) We all have our preferences and ideals. It’s that they LIE about this, painting themselves as moral queens who insist they are attracted to men based on their virtues, whereas men use looks, (and ONLY looks) to evaluate suitable women.
Attraction and evaluation are two different things though When it comes to pure attraction, men are visually oriented. Women can’t seem to abide by this, but it’s a scientific fact. It’s how we’re wired. Even worse, women may deny (in order to maintain their moral superiority complex) that they are not visually oriented, despite rejecting men who are short, have balding hair and a flabby body. On top of this, society (as driven by feminism) perpetuates the lie that women are attracted to men based on virtue, being emotionally sensitive, and being respectful of women (which really means pedestalizing them and supplicating their every desire). You know, the NICE GUY.
I used to fall for that women aren’t so hung up on looks, but after you see enough fat or bald or otherwise ugly men getting nuclearly rejected, it’s obvious looks matter just as much to women.
I always thought being a nice guy, showing chivalry and maturity, giving girls flowers, being romantic, etc. attracted women, but it doesn’t. They kept insisting that this is what attracts them to men, so I kept doing it, and yet still continued to see women fall for the worst elements on earth. Are they just being immature? Yes, but it’s more than that, and once I understood, I finally realized there was an inherent logic to seeing them fall for the biker dude or the guy who just got out of prison after all, and no longer took it personally. What I didn’t understand before is all those things that I did that women told me they loved is not what sexually attracts women. They may find these things ADMIRABLE, but it does NOT sexually attract them. I had to already be attractive to a girl for things like maturity, romance and so on to really pay off in a relationship. They are important to building a long lasting marriage, but they don’t induce attraction.
The real truth (in a nutshell) is that women are attracted to men who are strong and dominant. A nice guy can be strong and dominant, but usually they unwittingly present themselves as being wussies, which is a major turnoff. Showing how sensitive you are by bawling your eyes out watching Sleepless in Seattle does not attract women. They are actually repulsed by this. Yet because we’ve been told over and over that women are attracted to a man’s “heart” and the notion of being attracted to someone who projects masculine strength and leadership is sexist, this simple but suppressed truth flies over the head of many clueless men (including me as well.)
Women do like maturity, and that the smart ones make this a huge qualifier when seeking a good husband, but maturity doesn’t sexually attract a woman to a man either. You see how I’m making a distinction here?
Going back to the age thing, women who are younger have a higher sexual allure than older women do. Decent men will still gravitate to younger women in general because it’s a biological impulse, but some of them will just throw up their hands in frustration when the younger ones continue to prove themselves as immature, self absorbed, etc., and thus obviously wouldn’t make good wives, so they date older women, (so long as they still find such women sexually attractive).
Sunday, October 27, 2013
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE: YOU CHANGED EVERYTHING
Dear Soulmate
My feelings have re-shaped my fears on being left alone to weep for another world,I walk afraid and filled with darkness and despair and dream alone forever. That was before you, such beauty I never felt could exist in one person, So much warmth and compassion and total understanding..I have learned to dance again, free my soul and let love fill my veins,to fly in the sunlight and not get burned and to stroll unaware of anything insecure. I alone thought I knew what love was,in all its splendid glory, It's loving arms wrapped around my mind alone,I was wrong but I couldn't begin to explain how real I became in just finding this.I drift over cosmic seas,spiraling into your thoughts and bringing joy to your days and nights. I float on blue skies and beam the sun that shines in your hair,the stars that sparkle in your eyes, I am the glow around your soul, I am the begining and the end of all things loving, caring and above all affection.I have a name to scroll on my heart and carry on my lips. I feel no pain and want for nothing, I only see colourful things and love soaked tomorrows with you, above all this is real and its there when I open my eyes .forever. Your essence rises and touches me softly as your expression lures me inside your voice whispering of all the magical places untraveled Guiding me to the paths of the unknown and unseen.You gazes down deep within the recesses of my soul and take hold gently as you embraces all of me with just a touch.Within the folds of my budding consciousness of you near me.You awakens the darkness and a surrounding light you unfolds. Your essence rises and entrances me entirely with it ....you moves me like no other has ever done. For you has come to birth the very core of my being and has given life to what once was hardened and gone You comforts me in my moments of discouragement and singing a song that soothes my heart and my mind. Words spoken with whispers of loving seen within your heartfelt voices of the longing you has shared from inside. Your essence rises and I know that you are the one as I have never felt my world break away in so many ways releasing each single part of everything that I am In return giving freely to building my world around her. Nothing could ever be felt as deep as this
My feelings have re-shaped my fears on being left alone to weep for another world,I walk afraid and filled with darkness and despair and dream alone forever. That was before you, such beauty I never felt could exist in one person, So much warmth and compassion and total understanding..I have learned to dance again, free my soul and let love fill my veins,to fly in the sunlight and not get burned and to stroll unaware of anything insecure. I alone thought I knew what love was,in all its splendid glory, It's loving arms wrapped around my mind alone,I was wrong but I couldn't begin to explain how real I became in just finding this.I drift over cosmic seas,spiraling into your thoughts and bringing joy to your days and nights. I float on blue skies and beam the sun that shines in your hair,the stars that sparkle in your eyes, I am the glow around your soul, I am the begining and the end of all things loving, caring and above all affection.I have a name to scroll on my heart and carry on my lips. I feel no pain and want for nothing, I only see colourful things and love soaked tomorrows with you, above all this is real and its there when I open my eyes .forever. Your essence rises and touches me softly as your expression lures me inside your voice whispering of all the magical places untraveled Guiding me to the paths of the unknown and unseen.You gazes down deep within the recesses of my soul and take hold gently as you embraces all of me with just a touch.Within the folds of my budding consciousness of you near me.You awakens the darkness and a surrounding light you unfolds. Your essence rises and entrances me entirely with it ....you moves me like no other has ever done. For you has come to birth the very core of my being and has given life to what once was hardened and gone You comforts me in my moments of discouragement and singing a song that soothes my heart and my mind. Words spoken with whispers of loving seen within your heartfelt voices of the longing you has shared from inside. Your essence rises and I know that you are the one as I have never felt my world break away in so many ways releasing each single part of everything that I am In return giving freely to building my world around her. Nothing could ever be felt as deep as this
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
JOURNAL; I DO NEED A VACATION FROM DATING
The fact is, we all get tired of it - dating. I do and maybe you do too. Yes its true, we get tired of trying to meet people we like. We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in. We singles know this feeling and yet it is rarely discussed and even less written about. The fact is, being single is hard work and it wears us out.
I know that some of you reading this will have despaired from time to time, thinking that your perfect person is never to be found whilst also hoping secretly that they are hiding just round the corner. After a number of dates you wonder if it is worth it. Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and you think, "it can't only be me", surely! Yes you are right, you are suffering from dating fatigue but it isn't only you. We all feel it.
Why? Well we make a mental list and then try and reduce it. A mental list of the things we want our partner to be, the qualities and attributes we would like them to have. Maybe this comes from having our fingers burned, maybe from downright experience. The fact is, we all have our list and we need that list. Ms. Right will just not be Ms. Right without us checking first. When we find that the people we date don't really match up to our mental perception of what we want after beginning so optimistic, we feel drained of it. We need to recharge our batteries before rejoining the dating battle.
And this cycle continues, time and time again. There are a few yes, who are very lucky indeed and they will probably not be reading this, but for most of us we need to take a methodical approach. We are on a life campaign to find someone to love, so expect to get tired, expect to feel let down occasionally and pace yourself. Don't go on 20 dates a week thinking Ms. Perfect is waiting in the next singles bar. She may be, but she probably won't be. Instead, concentrate on quality rather than quantity.
To avoid dating fatigue decide on what we want, who we want and when we want - it. Do you build yourself up in anticipation before each date and lead yourself into an emotional crisis, or do you keep a cool clear head and wait to be pleasantly surprised? Do you have just one or two high quality dates a month with true potential partners or do you go out with every available person you meet. I suspect the latter will certainly bring on dating fatigue. But oddly, so will the former. You see, high quality dates are as draining and possibly a bigger let down than anything. To be faced with true potential and then to watch it fade away over a Merlot is soul destroying and many of us have felt that. The fact is , there is no easy answer concerning dating regularity. They will both wear you down.
The single factor that crops up more than anything in giving us dating fatigue lays deep within communication issues. By that, I mean lying. People tell lies, they tell us what we want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress and in doing so, they exclude themselves from dating success. We realize we are not being told the truth, we acknowledge the original potential but its too late. The date is over.
A friend of mine told me recently that there was no point in dating me because in truth I wasn't their ideal and they were now solely focusing on finding that perfect partner. I admire them for their honesty and their focused dating regime. It kind of lacks romance but I respect dedication to the cause.
I think that the way we all should deal with dating fatigue is simple: take some time off, like holiday if you like. Go do something completely different, begin a new sport or hobby and enjoy the important simple pleasures in life and stop thinking about Ms. Right. And in doing so - well you may be pleasantly surprised who you meet. Oh and your batteries will be recharged too.
I know that some of you reading this will have despaired from time to time, thinking that your perfect person is never to be found whilst also hoping secretly that they are hiding just round the corner. After a number of dates you wonder if it is worth it. Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and you think, "it can't only be me", surely! Yes you are right, you are suffering from dating fatigue but it isn't only you. We all feel it.
Why? Well we make a mental list and then try and reduce it. A mental list of the things we want our partner to be, the qualities and attributes we would like them to have. Maybe this comes from having our fingers burned, maybe from downright experience. The fact is, we all have our list and we need that list. Ms. Right will just not be Ms. Right without us checking first. When we find that the people we date don't really match up to our mental perception of what we want after beginning so optimistic, we feel drained of it. We need to recharge our batteries before rejoining the dating battle.
And this cycle continues, time and time again. There are a few yes, who are very lucky indeed and they will probably not be reading this, but for most of us we need to take a methodical approach. We are on a life campaign to find someone to love, so expect to get tired, expect to feel let down occasionally and pace yourself. Don't go on 20 dates a week thinking Ms. Perfect is waiting in the next singles bar. She may be, but she probably won't be. Instead, concentrate on quality rather than quantity.
To avoid dating fatigue decide on what we want, who we want and when we want - it. Do you build yourself up in anticipation before each date and lead yourself into an emotional crisis, or do you keep a cool clear head and wait to be pleasantly surprised? Do you have just one or two high quality dates a month with true potential partners or do you go out with every available person you meet. I suspect the latter will certainly bring on dating fatigue. But oddly, so will the former. You see, high quality dates are as draining and possibly a bigger let down than anything. To be faced with true potential and then to watch it fade away over a Merlot is soul destroying and many of us have felt that. The fact is , there is no easy answer concerning dating regularity. They will both wear you down.
The single factor that crops up more than anything in giving us dating fatigue lays deep within communication issues. By that, I mean lying. People tell lies, they tell us what we want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress and in doing so, they exclude themselves from dating success. We realize we are not being told the truth, we acknowledge the original potential but its too late. The date is over.
A friend of mine told me recently that there was no point in dating me because in truth I wasn't their ideal and they were now solely focusing on finding that perfect partner. I admire them for their honesty and their focused dating regime. It kind of lacks romance but I respect dedication to the cause.
I think that the way we all should deal with dating fatigue is simple: take some time off, like holiday if you like. Go do something completely different, begin a new sport or hobby and enjoy the important simple pleasures in life and stop thinking about Ms. Right. And in doing so - well you may be pleasantly surprised who you meet. Oh and your batteries will be recharged too.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)