THOUGHTS: LESSONS OF THE MATRIX

As I sit here and write this, I've watched The Matrix 35 times. Actually, it's more than that if you count partial viewings. It's not that I'm obsessed with the movie, although I suppose anyone who watches the same movie 35 times could certainly be classified as being "obsessed". It's just that I find a deep connection with this movie. It's hard to explain. But, I'll try.

Before we get too far, know that I'm talking about the first Matrix movie. Not the second, or the third. Frankly, I think the first didn't need a sequel, let alone two of them, but I don't remember the producers calling me for an opinion. Too late now.

The very first time I went to see it I actually thought it was fairly unremarkable. Certainly, the special affects were cool, but the deep connection I'm talking about wasn't there yet. At the time I was still living as a guy, and I brought my son to see it with me. In fact, come to think of it, it's probably one of the last movies we went to see together before it happened.

It was a movie about life, about society, about being an individual, about freedom, about destiny, and about fate.

Morpheus: You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?Neo: No. Morpheus: Why not? Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life. Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it; you've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there....like a splinter in your mind...driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about? Neo: The Matrix? Morpheus: Do you want to know what...it...is? The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now...in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes....to blind you from the truth. Neo: What truth? Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison....for your mind.

How many of us have been there? How many of us have felt that splinter? How many of us realize that there's something wrong, but we just can't pinpoint what it is? How many have tested the bars of the prison in our minds? I know I have!

The Matrix is society. It is culture. It is all the things that have been built to blind us to the innate freedoms to be who and what we want to be. And frankly, if you can't unplug, if you can't break away, the things you see remain tinted and obscured by the Matrix.

That's more easily said than done. Some people cannot imagine a world without structure. Without order. Without binary rules to help guide their lives. They wouldn't take the Red Pill for anything. These people cannot imagine a world of freedom, and actually perceive attempts at freedom as threats to their very existence, to the foundations of life itself! In fact, And, they do what they feel they need to do to protect it.

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. When you're inside, look around. What do you see? Businessmen...teachers...lawyers...carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand. Most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so anured, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.

Those of us who are unplugged face tests of our own to prove to ourselves that we're the one, that we're real, that we deserve to be here.

Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo, but I can only show you the door. You're the one that needs to walk through it. You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear...doubt...disbelief. Free your mind!

I'm not going to spend an hour thinking of ways to help you see what I see when I watch the movie. Those of you who have had similar experiences with it know what I'm talking about. You've taken the red pill, as I have. And, you see the world for what it is....not for what common paradigms would have you believe that the world we see is all there is.

BUT, if I had to identify three critical quotes, three tremendously enlightening passages among all the wonderful stuff in there, I'd have to pick these three:

Morpheus: The Matrix cannot tell you who you are.

*****************

The Oracle: So...what do you think? Do you think you are the "one"?Neo: Honestly, I don't know. The Oracle: (pointing to a sign over the door) You know what that means? It's Latin. It means "Know Thyself". I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's like being in love. No one can tell you you're in love you just know it. Through and through. Balls to bones.

*****************

Morpheus: .....There's a difference between knowing the path....and walking the path.

*****************

So profound. So deep. And so true.

POETRY: SO CLOSE I COULD TOUCH YOUR SOUL

They are two people drawn together by an unseen power. A bond from a distance, only they know the reason.
Love has an intensity as still as a calm night or as savage as a raging storm.
That is the need.
Together they are one, alone no more.
A light comes into their hearts to make them alive.
Aware of life and living again in a complacent world. Strangers for a time, until their souls reach out and touch one another.
The knowledge of a lifetime is passed between them.
Sharing the joys, the tribulations, the expectations is a new experience.
Strangers no more, caring begins.
With familiarity comes laughter to brighten the spirit and lighten the heart.
An understanding, that words cannot express, spreads across the miles and friendship commences.
They wonder at this new found level of love.
They revel at the very thought of hands caressing and lips touching from ocean to ocean.
The beauty of love is seen as an oasis in the desert of loneliness.
They know where to look and what to say.
They understand the workings of the mind to protect from pain.
It is all so new and yet so easy.
Heaven on earth can be love.
It can be friendship.
It can be understanding and compassion.
Most of all it is giving.
They gave of each other for each other's happiness.
And together they found everything.


2

How I wish I got to see you
one last time
To hear the softness of your voice
To feel the tendernest in your heart
There are so few that we meet
in a lifetime
Who touch our inner core
In many ways, I never knew
that I could ever feel
the way I do with you
They say in heaven
we meet everyone we ever cared for
and if this is true.
Its one more reason to be there
just to be with you


3

So many years, not even knowing, that I was missing one thing
You came along, love starting growing, my soul came alive, you made my heart sing
I never believed that somewhere was someone, tailor made for my dreams
The angel I needed, the perfect young woman to set me on fire, it seems

You touch me in places, you move me in ways, I never have felt before now
I thought that I knew what true love felt like, I was wrong til you showed me somehow
It's just like you know, whenever we're close, exactly the right thing to do
You're driving me wild, you set me on fire, I can't get enough of you

Don't ever change, don't alter your ways, you're all that I can't live without
What I mean to say, is i love you this way, I know this without any doubt
You're holding the cards, you're holding my heart, I couldn't back out now, not ever
You're one of a kind, you've consumed my mind, I'll love you completely, forever :):):)


4

Missing

It's the same every time,
her fingers pressing into my flesh,
her palms adhering to my skin
and gently breaking free with a slight suction.

Just the memory of it
brings back those tender caresses,
forms ticklish eddies on my spine
as when her delicate arm
would brush the nape of my neck.

And each time, as the ball of her hand
begins to force my stress away,
I awake,
disappointed,
dissheveled,
disenchanted,
and weep quietly to myself of her departure.


5

home is where the heart is
heart is where you are home
my thoughts are with you
always
for with you,
my thoughts always roam

from green mountain's stable,
across waves of golden plains,
to any port
rest assured
we shared smiles,
life,
and quiet rains

what we share now ...
the most,
unmeasured time,
a heart's beat
dreams of dreams never released
but heartfelt thoughts
where our prayers meet




6


Longing the nights steaming windows,
so close i could touch your soul
hear me in your dreams
and lost in your memory...
screams tear the dark tonight


7
Mirror, mirror, of the wall, beauty is she above them all,

She melted the snow with her eyes of fire; I developed a sensation, a burning desire

Her smile so lovely, her lip and cheek, awoke my heart to love and seek,

A rage occurred deep inside of me, which told me she was my angel to be

I couldn’t hide or run anywhere, for I was immense with despair

Angel, angel, can I tell you how I feel, my love for you, feels really real

I know love don’t exist at first sight, but without you, my life ain’t right,

When I look at your face, my life stands still, I got a sense of relief and a big thrill

A thrill that weakens my body to the floor, every second without you is like being in a war

Her walk is like the wind, it takes my breath away; her smile is so bright, like the sun shines in May

My heart suffers when you abandon my life; it feels like I’m getting stabbed with a knife

I start to cry, the tears get stronger, my love for you can’t wait any longer

I’m in a state of ecstasy, just reflecting upon your voice, your presence around me makes me rejoice,

I wish I was the tears that touch your skin; my love for you is strong, feels like a sin

A sin of being helpless when you call my name, my brain freezes over when you do the same

If you were stuck at the stars up high, promise me you’ll never tell me bye,

I want nothing more than listen to your anguish and pain, no matter how bad it is, I’ll promise to remain’

Remain loyal to the angel of my life, while one day I hope she becomes my wife




8

her arm touches mine
a cool breeze flows from my lips
subtle goosebumps rise

a wet explorer
seeking new taste and texture
eyes find each other

hard flesh meets soft flesh
electric arcs of pleasure
in the dark, a cry



9


I used to look at you
when you walked by me
our eyes would meet
for what seemed like a long time
Without saying anything
we would say a thousand words
I would keep starring at you
until you were out of sight
thinking about all the unsaid words
that your eyes said to me
I wanted to tell you so many things
but I would freeze when you walked by
hoping to catch a glance of you everyday
but you didn’t come
I didn’t know your name
nor anything about you
sadly I walked away one day
thinking I will never see you again
until one day by chance we met again
This time as total strangers
On our separate ways
as on a mission
What brought us together?
Was it fate?
This time I will talk to you
I will tell you how I feel
I will tell you how you make me feel
I will not let go
I will keep looking at you



10

Your tongue, a snake’s tongue, creeps into my mouth, my dreams.. it does something to me, hypnotic, it entrances and waylays me.. I feel it in my sleep, in my skin and in the beating of my heart. Your heart, it is an ocean for me to cross on a broken raft. It pulls me under, deeper and deeper.



11


The touch of your lips gives me Excellent Pleasure: but when you think about it: it is like a smile to my face. your Love for me always gives me Joy: but also your Personality is almlost a sign of Passion. Lust, Pleasure and Kisses from above. when i look into your eyes: i see fire all the time.


12

I saw a girl with perfect eyes, It wasn't just the size but the color of her soul reflected so hard that my heart almost stopped beating, I stopped eating for days cause the unforgettable face always was on my mind, I wonder why my heart was so kind...Her body was like watching a million stars crashing, my mind was just seconds from collapsing. I cant breath, I cant think, I cant see... but still I wonder how it would be. Words are becoming small and I finding myself hitting the wall. She smells like a endless smell of roses that none of this earth has smelled

REVIEW: BOOK-THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN

What a great book! It doesn't take long to read it, either, because it's more like a short story or a little novelette. I read it in a few hours over the course of 2 days and sometimes I just couldn't put it down. It was a little unnerving in the beginning because the author, Mitch Albom, kept putting little subtitles: 60 minutes of life left, 30 minutes, 10, and etc. It was a little jarring to be reminded so in-my-face that the main character, Eddie, was going to die and very soon.

Scary idea, dying -- or else, it used to be. I bought this book from a club last year or maybe the year before. I'm not sure which. I didn't read it right away because I knew it was going to be about the after life and heaven and I guess I just had to be in the right frame of mind for that. In the last year, I've been able to read books about widows and widowers and the aftermath of their loss.

This isn't like that, exactly, although Eddie did lose his beloved wife at a young age.

All our lives, things happen and more times than not it's things we don't understand. Why did Rich have Marfan and then cardiomyopathy? Why did Audrey get primary pulmonary hypertension? Why, after all the other bad things that happened, did they die when they did?

Why did TB's rotator cuff tear again after 2 surgeries so that he'd need a third one? Why is Linda the way she is? Why, why, why?

In the book, Eddie dies and goes to heaven and there he meets five people who explain different things to him and teach him some very valuable lessons. The last person he meets is supposed to tell him what it's all been about, what it's been for. He meets up with his wife again (I'm not saying which of the five she is) and one thing that I really enjoyed about this book is that time is meaningless here so he could have been talking to her for centuries of our time. It's a comforting thought, isn't it? To see loved ones and be able to talk with them about everything?

One person's actions (even a stranger's) has a ripple effect that can affect so many others. That is something we don't sit down and really consider but it's the theme throughout the book. This is what it said to me: everyone's life has value and everyone has a purpose. So many lives overlap every day millions of different ways. It makes you think.

I'm sure everyone's gotten the 'people come into your lifetime for a reason, season or lifetime' email. Reading the book was like reading that email which goes like this:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go..

Some people become friends and stay awhile...

leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts...

and we are never quite the same

because we have made a good friend!!!

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life.

THOUGHT: JUST DO IT

It saddens me to see so many people wasting their lives hoping for this or wishing for that. While they're hoping and wishing, others are doing and getting. It's really a simple concept. If you want something, get it. There are no maybe-somedays, or when-I-get-my-lucky-breaks.

All that's necessary is to figure out what it is you want (which is surprisingly much more difficult than it sounds), figure out how to get it, and act.

This is a problem that plagued me for years. I was all thought and learning, which is great, crucial in fact, but nothing will ever happen without action. Act upon your thoughts (with discretion..), and the material counterpart to your immaterial thoughts will be yours. There is no mystery, no voodoo, no great secret. Think, act, achieve.

Nike™ had it right from the beginning: JUST DO IT. (Possibly also ™)

JOURNAL

I remember rushing into the arms of my mother, diving into her empathy, her healing embrace. The reason didn’t matter, a fever, a fall, overzealous playfulness or just for a moment's reprieve. Her compassionate heart, always home, and a place to offer tears for a mother. I LOVE YOU MOM

STORY: LET ME SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE

I take your hand and guide you through the darkened room towards the hallway. Walking away from your room, you start to hear the sound of running water from beyond the closed door to the bathroom. I stop at the door, and turn to you. Taking your upturned face into my hands, I guide your mouth to mine. I kiss you deeply, letting my tongue explore your mouth and lips. As the kiss ends, I pull away and smile at you knowingly. Turning back to the door, I turn the knob and push it open. Steam that had been trapped in the room rolls out past us. We both feel the moist heat clinging to our naked bodies. Taking your hand again, and with a backwards glance, I lead you into the bathroom.

I have prepared the room for our arrival. Looking through the steam, you see candles burning. The moisture in the air causes the flames to dance, their light fractured and fractured yet again by the mist. The entire room has a very pleasant, romantic glow to it. The light is so diffused; it seems to be coming from everywhere. You smell incense in the air, and the scent adds a pleasing undertone to the feel of the room. Large, soft towels have been laid next to the shower, along with scented oils.

I stop in the middle of the room and turn to you again. Smiling, I pull you close to me. I wrap my arms around your back, and bring my lips to your ear. "I'm going to make love to you now" I say in a breathy whisper. You moan softly, your arms tightening around my neck. I take your earlobe into my mouth and lick it with my tongue. You groan, and I can begin to feel your nipples poking into my chest. I lick my way down to your neck, stopping here and there to give you little love bites.

My tongue moves across to your shoulder, and the tip slides down your collarbone to the top swell of your right breast. I feel your hands move into my hair, and looking up, see your eyes as you watch me. Your lips are parted, and your breathing is beginning to quicken. I trace my tongue down your breast, grazing the nipple as I go past. It travels all the way down to the underside before moving back up to take the nipple into my mouth. You gasp as you feel the heat of my mouth envelop you. I can feel the hardness of your nipple, how it bucks under my teeth and tongue. As I listen to your moans, I begin to grow. The blood rushes between my legs, causing me to stiffen and pulse with contained lust.

I groan, my cock swelling, feeling the heat, feeling the passion seize my body. My hands roam up and down your back, going from your shoulders to your ass. I bring them around to your front, letting them feel your breasts, letting my fingers play delicately with your sensitive nipples. I lick your left nipple and then blow across it. It stiffens even further, and causes you to cry out. Your hands grip my hair, and you begin to push me downward, where you really want my tongue to be. I let your hands guide me, and trace my tongue down across your belly, pausing to dip into your navel. Continuing down, the tip plays through your pubic hair, pressing here and there, never pausing too long.

I stop at this point, on my knees in front of you. I look up at you and see a gorgeous sight: the heat and moisture in the air has caused you to sweat, and the little rivulets chart their own courses across your skin. Your breasts shine in the candlelight, the nipples hard and tight. Your eyes gaze at me lustfully, letting me know without a word what you want. What you need. We share a knowing smile, and I begin again.

From my knees I guide you over to the sink, a place you can lean on without fear of falling. You comply, letting the cool surface of the counter touch your ass. I use my hands to spread your legs, opening you to me. My fingers trace up your legs from your ankles, over your knees, across your thighs, to your hips. They linger there on your lower belly, waiting. They slide down to your sex, touching and probing. You're hot and wet against my fingers. Your scent wafts up to my nose, adding to my excitement. I part your lips with my thumbs, exposing your clit to the air. I move my face between your legs and blow across you. You moan loudly as you feel my breath. My tongue tastes you then, and you cry out, your fingers locking in my hair. I play with you, taking first your clit and then your lips between mine, licking and probing everywhere. You feel my fingers playing with you, and then feel one enter you slowly. I pump it in and out as I lick you, and your hips begin to pump against my face. You scream that you're going to cum, and I increase my pace. My finger moves faster, and my lips trap your clit. You feel a vibration from my lips that sends you over the edge. Your legs lock as the orgasm washes over you. You push yourself against me, grinding into my face. You scream in pleasure as your hips buck. I continue to hold you in my mouth and hum quickly, alternating the vibrations you feel. Your knees buckle as the orgasm subsides, and I hold you once again.

"We're not done yet," I whisper to you. You groan in pleasure and smile at me. Taking your hand, I lead you into the shower. The hot water crashes down on us, stinging. I wet myself down first, letting you see the water running over my body, letting you see how hard I am for you. I guide you under the water next, using my hands to spread it around. Running my fingers through your hair, soaking it. I switch places with you again, and turn you away from me. Taking your arms, I place your hands flat against the wall, so you're holding yourself up. I pick up the bar of soap, and begin running it up and down your back and over your ass. Working up a thick lather, I put the bar down and begin to spread the soap around with my hands. I move down the top of your arms, and then back up the underside. Following the curve of your body, I cup your breasts in my soapy hands, rubbing in circles. You moan again, and I can feel your hips beginning to move on their own, back and forth. My fingers trace down from your breasts, across your belly. They arrive at your sex and begin to spread the lather through your pubic hair.

I enter you then. You cry out and throw your head back in pleasure. My hands move up to your hips, gripping you there. I begin to pump in and out, using long hard strokes. I can hear our skin as it slaps together. You're incredibly hot around me, so hot it almost hurts. I groan as you squeeze me, and nuzzle against the back of your neck. You're breathing frantically now, almost ready to cum again. I pump into you even harder, stroking deep inside you. You feel me growing, and I groan loudly calling your name. I buck inside you wildly, and you feel me cum. That feeling of pulsing heat sends you over the edge, and you scream my name as you cum.

We cling to each other as the passion ebbs. Little whispers are passed back and forth, along with kisses and tight hugs. I turn off the water, and help you out of the shower. Picking up a towel, I dry your body and then your hair. You do the same to me. I take your hand again and lead you out of the bathroom, blowing out the candles as we pass them. Once back in your room, we collapse together on the bed, and fall asleep in each other's arms.

LOVE LETTER

You are my sunrise warm salmon and golden hued, and you stretch across my sky like an angelic echo. Your starlit eyes breathe meaning in every glance--a quiet colloquium punctuated by borealis smiles. When I feel your cheek against mine, I understand the meaning of love and life. I photograph you with my eyes as rebel strands coil dark silk along edges of your ears, then bounce as you dance like a wildflower in wind. Even in momentary stillness, I see your inner fury-- fire in your soul. I will play keeper of the flame, and before my night draws near-- I will teach you to shape and hold it in your hands. In seasons between dawn and dusk, when my light fades into a flicker --take your spark and set the world on fire

SPIRITUAL / LOVE: NO ONE IS UGLY..NO ONE. (IT'S HURT WHEN PEOPLE CALL OTHER PEOPLE UGLY)

So what is preventing us from seeing ourselves as the essence of God? It is our ego. I hate when people say that other people are ugly. How is it possible for God to be unattractive in any way? I thought about an apple pie. One slice must be the same as the entire pie---it can't be suddenly be pineapple or banana. The same logic here. If we came from God, how is it possible for us to be different from it. I doubt anyone ever deign to call God unattractive, yet that's is exactly what most people do when they call other people ugly.....and we do the same thing when we place pejorative labels on our body.

Some people label other as not beautiful, attractive, or handsome because of how we stack up against a runaway model......we are beautiful because we came from beauty, so we must be the same as what we came from. All labels such as unattractive, ugly, homely as well as pretty, attractive, are judgment designed to compare one person to another using artificial standards set up by ego-dominated people.

Our body is made up of chemicals and these chemicals are part of a finite supply. To that end, the iron, nitrogen, or even the calcium that in our blood was once somewhere else....a dinosaur, in the body of Jesus..or anywhere. Chemically speaking..there is no difference between human and rocks, tree, organutans, or distant stars---grind them all up and their chemical composition isn't what distinguishes one from the other. Our physical presence is a conglomeration of a hodgepodge of chemicals, and the end result is that we're being made up of the same stuff that makes up the stars.

True nobility is not about being better than someone else....it's about being better than we used to be. Every single experience in my life, right up to this day, was something I needed to go through in order to get to be here now.

We're all one, but we're not the same. If this sounds like a conflict, think about the fact that there's only one light, yet there are many colors, there's only one fire, yet there are many bonfires, and there's only one water, yet there are many lakes, rivers, and oceans. Likewise, although we all come from one source, we are individualized expressions of it, and therefore unique.

LOVE LETTER: REMINISCE OF YOU

As time ticks away and the seconds soft their pace, I sit here and thank the lord for blessing me with perfection. The perfect balance that revolves around you, and your soul. The way you call me baby, the way you sooth my fears. The way my world has meaning since the day I met you. Love at second site I call it. Our syncopated movements rhythm their rhythm so perfectly. Perfection is intertwined in our world, forever. Passionate spring nights wanting each other restlessly. Cross my mind every second of my waking day. I sit here and reminisce our quick love. I reminisce your soft lips as they caress my broken skin. Time ticks away and the seconds soften their pace. Time slows down for just a second, for us to glimpse at what has finally arrived. I sit here astonished, and thank the heavens above for finally bringing me your perfection. Our Perfection. United. Together. Complete.

STORY: TOE, PEEKING OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE CRISP WHITE SHEET

Toes, peeking out from underneath the crisp white sheet
Call me to kiss them, to seize them into my moist mouth
South, I observe them ascribed to two slightly soiled feet
Ever since traipsing in the garden, bare, upon supple dirt
Dessert to my eyes, inviting, surpassing all that is sweet

You turn so slightly, revealing a soft white creamy thigh
Inside of which I am obliged to press tenderly to my lips
Hips, now emerging into view, do excite my minds eye
Blood rushing to prepare for the ecstasy rapidly coming
Succumbing to pleasures I could undoubtedly never deny

Instinct soon carries me beyond, good sense out the door
I find myself kissing your appealing garden, on cloud nine
Shrine to some, lustful sanctuary of bonding, wanting more
Immersed in love’s juices, a woman’s fragrant Holy Grail
Pale God’s handiwork when compared to any other flower

Covers now removed, I slowly wind my way to your nipple
Succulent, undulating yet firm, iridescent from muted touch
Such beauty abounds nowhere else, the converse of dimple
Outwardly alluring, opulent nourishment for body and soul
Control now past, skin tingles, wanting you becomes simple

Grazing your neck, musk grabs at all my thoughts, my wants
Which have become stronger, that discover your soft tasty ear
Sheer delight now becomes apparent from you, loving taunts
Arouse me to ensnare your gentle lips, caressing slight flicks
Transform want into desire, bringing us to unfamiliar haunts

Then, your eyes greet mine, reach deep into my yearning soul
Windows that have no curtain, no shutter, only effervescence
Brilliance, lighting our very beings, bodies become as a whole
Drawing me into your world, entering you in a shared passion
Attraction, for each other, now just reveling in the lover’s role

After, breathing becomes easier, racing hearts take a short break
We smell love melding with air, soft comfort of close embrace
Space shared transcends loneliness, darkness where hearts ache
Disappears in the nights tranquil shift from a long journey alone
Known no longer, banished forever, by the love that we make

LOVE LETTER: GOD I WANT YOU... I AM SO HUNGRY FOR YOU

I cannot keep my eyes off of you. Your beauty alone captivates me. Yet there is so much more to you than that. I can tell. A classic presence. An Intelligence. Sensuality. Passion. Raw emotion. My eyes continue to fixate on you. Your smile, the way you play with your hair, the sparkle in your encapsulating eyes, every subtle move you make. You have trapped me, without you even knowing or trying. I know now what a fool feels like. I would do anything to be with you.

Your eyes meet mine. My heart races. Pulse quickens. All I know now is that I want you. You try to look away from the intense look in my eyes, but you find that you just can't. Somehow, you are drawn to me. You walk closer to me. I continue to look at you, with wild, animalistic, and raw desire in my eyes. We move closer to each other, never breaking eye contact. Our lips meet. Softly at first. Our hands touch each other. As I pull your body close to mine, my lips move to kiss your soft skin of your neck. My warm breath sending chills of impending ecstasy throughout your body. You cannot help but convulse a bit from my sensual touches. Your hands slide under my shirt, lightly caressing my back. Our lips meet again, this time with more urgency and passion. I nibble on your lower lip, a sigh escapes you as I taste your lips, your breath, your arousal.

"I want you," I whispered softly. A moan escapes your lips as we continue our fiery embrace, our passionate kiss. My hands caress your face, your neck, your hair. Our lips moistened and slick from our frantic tongues. Your finger nails lightly scratch my back, feeling my muscles tense. Our tongues meet, a powerful, seductive dance together. I pull your head close to mine, holding firmly. I pressed your body against the wall, my hands slide under your shirt. My lips and tongue explore you, dragging on your slightly salty skin. I inhale your erotic smells, your intoxicating essence. Your soft hands move down my chest to my stomach. They fumbled with the undoing of my belt. I allow you to play with the button on my pants for a while. Then I move my hands, urging you to remove your shirt. Your arms raise for me, as I remove the shirt off of you. Our hands return to each other's body. My mouth moves lower, kissing the torrid flesh of your exposed chest. You lean your head back, as you finally manage to remove my belt. I kiss your shoulder, and slide your bra strap off. I cannot help myself, as I continue to kiss your sensuous skin. Your hands start unbuttoning my shirt now. But you falter a bit, as I can feel you are shaking in my arms. Amidst your frustration, you finally just rip apart my shirt, sending the last few buttons flying off. Our lips meet again as we press our desperate bodies together. Flesh to warm flesh. Your hands continue to caress my chest, my broad shoulders. I move my hands to your back and deftly undo your bra. You allow it to drop to the floor at our feet. Your skin is so soft to my touch, as I run my hands up and down your sexy back. Our lips kiss with urgency, you thrust your firm body against mine as our desperation grows.

"I want to taste you," you whisper in my mouth. Your hands unbutton my pants. My hand caresses your cheek. I lightly move your head away, exposing your neck, your chest. A low groan comes from you, almost like a hungry caged animal, as my mouth devours your skin. My tongue dancing circles on your exposed skin, tasting you, your chest. My senses heightened by the sounds, the taste, the aromas. All heightened because of you, all my focus on you. The moment. Everything. You hold my head close to your chest, as I suck on your skin. Your hands running through my hair, your body writhing with pleasure. I drop down to my knees, my mouth never losing contact from your smooth skin. My hands run down your exposed skin, your sensuous sides, to your pants. My lips kiss your stomach at the point where your skin ends, and your pants begin. My fingers run along the pants, teasing you with light touches. Your hands clench and unclench in my hair with rising sexual frustration. I slowly unbutton the top button on your pants. My mouth kissing the newly exposed skin, tongue lashing out on you. Another button comes undone, more skin exposed. My tongue dance on your torrid flesh some more, licking the top edge of your panties.

"Oh god," I heard you sigh, as I undo one more button. then achingly slow, I undo the last button. Now I can slide your pants off of your desperate body. My mouth and tongue leaving moist trails along your sensitive stomach. My hands slide the pants down your sleek legs. My face, my moist mouth never leaving your skin. I kiss your thigh, while you step out of your pants. My hands running up and down your smooth, firm legs. I cannot contain myself as I continue exploring your body with untamed desire. My lips drag on your skin, slowly up your thigh. My hands run up your back side, then grasp the sides of your panties. I slide them down quickly this time, eager to see more of your beauty. More of your arousal. I lick my lips at the sight before me.

"Mmmmm," I moan softly as I continue my sensual assault of kisses and licks against your body. You press my head firmly against your skin. I feel you spread your legs a bit, exposing more areas to kiss on your amazing body. My warm breath on your newly exposed flesh sends more tremors throughout your body. Your knees shake from the weakness for just a moment. I pull back from your body, your firm grasp of me, then I look up at you. Your eyes begging me for more, for me to take you now. I slowly lean into your body and lick your inner thigh. You move your other leg over my shoulder, pulling me almost under you. My mouth and tongue run up your inner thigh, slowly. Savoring your skin. Teasing you with the closeness of my tongue, the warmth of my breath. My tongue finally makes contact, so warm and moist to my lips. Your arousal tasting like honey on my tongue. Your head leans back and your back arches a bit, as you groan with pleasure. I drag my tongue on you, licking up and down. A shiver runs through your sensitive body at this intimate, erotic contact. Your hips moving in perfect synchronization with my tongue and mouth. Your hands holding my mouth close to you, while my hands run up your thighs and backside. My head moves up and down, my tongue laps circles around you. My right hand moves up your inner thigh, closer to my mouth and your warmth.

"Mmmmm," I moan while sucking lightly on you. The vibrations from my moan sending more waves of pleasure throughout your body. I hear you gasp, as I insert my fingers inside of you. My mouth never losing contact. I quickened my pace. I suck on you with more force now, while my fingers penetrate. My tongue lapping circles, while my head moves up and down. My fingers enter and retreat repeatedly, very moist and warm from your arousal. I can feel your muscles tense, then relax in perfect rhythym with the intense, frantic pace I have set on you. Your breathing becomes louder, more ragged and forced than before. Your hands clench and unclench with an amazing, ecstatic moment impending. I continue to suck on you, to lick you, to taste you, penetrate you, please you. I can feel the muscles in your thighs start to quiver. The moment of raw passion and uncontrollable desire almost upon your wavering body.

"Please, don't stop..." you whimper. I continue to rub and such and lick your body at quick, random intervals and directions. The quivering in your body, turns into shaking. I can feel your muscles clenching inside of you. Your hips push out to accept more of me, I never stop.

"Oh yes... Yes!!" you hissed while your body wracks uncontrollably with blissful convulsions. Your knee practically buckles from the onslaught of sensations and chills running through your body. Your hips move frantically, wanting to have more of me, but yet too sensitive to take more.

"My god!" You pull my head away from you suddenly, your body cannot take the sensations anymore. I look up at you, with a confident smile on my face. You gingerly step over me as I leaned against the wall, watching your every movement. You turn around, kneel down and undo my pants. I lift my hips up, to allow my pants to slide off. Your eyes fixated on the swollen bulge in my boxers. You unconsciously lick your lips as you crawl seductively closer to me. You hand grasps me though my boxers, feeling it's hardness. It's smoothness, it's raw power. You bend down closer to kiss it, through my boxers, as I lean against the wall. Your mouth kisses my stomach, my chest, slowly moving up to meet mine. We kiss finally, as you can taste yourself on my lips. You moan, while your tongue lashes out against mine. My hands caress every inch of your body, as I feel your hands slide my boxers off slowly. Our kiss ends, yet your mouth continues to tease my skin. I watch your head slowly move down my body, my boxers finally are removed from me. Your tongue lashes out on me, causing me to flinch at the sudden contact. Your breath on my wanting skin, drives me crazy. So intense were the sensations, I had to close my eyes.

"Mmmm, I want to taste you now." You purr softly to me. My hands move to your head, tangling in your soft hair. You run your warm tongue up and down me, slowly. So slowly. Teasing me with soft touches and licks. Another moan escapes you, then finally you wrapped your mouth around me. You can feel me throbbing, aching for a release.

"Mmmm," finally. You teasing has stopped. I don't think I could have taken much more! I opened my eyes to watch you. Your hand grasps me, rubbing up and down. I can feel the wetness from your hungry mouth, running up and down my shaft. Your tongue plays with my head, lips rubbing over and over my sensitive ridge. You move your other hand and caress my testicles, while your mouth sucks and licks away on me. I thrust my hips a little, my body begging for you to take more of me inside your mouth. Your hand grasps my smoothness and runs up and down me with a quicker pace. The sounds of sucking mixes with our moans were enough to send me over the edge. You can feel the urgency in me, as my hands guide your head with more force. Your sexy body moves to straddle my right leg, as you continue to send me closer. I press my leg up against you. I can feel the softness of your curves and the wetness from your arousal on my thigh. I could not take this anymore! I need to be inside of you. Now! I lifted your head to stop you. You look at me with confusion in your eyes.

"I want to be inside of you, now!" I said with such intensity. I watch you stand up in front of me. You move to hover over me. Then you slowly kneel down, straddling me as your hand guides me into you. I feel the pressure as I am about to penetrate you. You are still wet and sensitive, your breathing increases as you lower yourself onto me more and more. Deeper and deeper. I feel your warmth, your strength, your passion, your arousal. All the way in. Slowly. You make a low growl like sound, as I push into you all the way. Your hands move to my shoulders now, as you slowly start to rise. This is absolutely amazing, dream like! Too many sensations running throughout our bodies. The sights of your lustful body, the sounds of our pleasure, the smells of our intimacy, the touches of our passion. You lower yourself again, however, this time you lean toward me. I kiss your neck as I thrust into your body. Your hips moving with my pace, doubling the sensitivity of our passionate union. Our pace quickens, our breathing intensifies. My lips continue to kiss your skin, an occasional nibble here and there. My hands hold your hips firmly, while my hips continue thrusting and gyrating.

"Ahh." a seductive breath leaves your body. You lean back, while continuing your hips dance sensually on me. Your hands move down my chest, scratching my sensitive, slightly sweaty flesh. You grope my body frantically, feeling my muscles flex and tense.

"Mmmmm," I feel the warmth building up from deep inside of me, ready for a ecstatic final release. Your hands reach back behind you, bracing yourself on my thighs. Your arousal moistens my skin under you. You start breathing passionately, gasping loudly.

"Oh god...another one..." I hear you whisper. You lean forward and continue to move your body with mine at a furious pace. Our arousal peaking. Sensations coming on stronger now. I am not sure how much longer I can hold these back. I closed my eyes, while my muscles flex at the impending orgasm.

"Ahhh!!" I breathe out loud. This only makes you move faster, with more desire. Much more urgency. I cannot stop these feelings now. It is far too late! My body shakes with uncontrollable spasms, releasing my hot desire deep inside of you. Your moans turn to sounds of elation and unbridled ecstasy from my arousal. I throb inside of you, continually shaking sensitively. Sweet release! Our bodies wracking with pleasure and other sensation that we cannot possibly fathom. You wrap your arms around me, holding me close, as we bathe in the moment of our ecstasy. Our breathing is ragged, out bodes are sensitive and hot.

A thousand sensations finally slowing down inside of us. Our bodies seem sated, however our emotions still wanting more of one another. I do not know how long we held each other, before you kissed me passionately on my lips. I do know, that this is amazing. I do know that you, only you can bring out the raw intensity of my desire for you.

LOVE: WHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT

If you are like me, there may be many things you want to achieve in life. You may want to accomplish A and B, achieve C and D, and so on. Yet, you should never forget what your top priority is.

From what I learn, I realize that my top priority should be relationships. I believe they should also be your top priority. Nothing else matters more. Here are why:

1. Relationships fulfill your most important need of allWhat is the most important thing people need? No, it’s not money. It’s not achievements nor recognition either. The most important thing people need is love. We all need to love and be loved. Unfortunately, sometimes we are so obsessed with other things that we forget how beautiful it is to love and be loved. Don’t let this happen to you. Love others and be loved. Feel how wonderful it is. Get a taste of love. And how do you do that? Through relationships. This is the only way. There is no other way you can love and be loved but through relationships.
2. Relationships are the place where your greatest joy comes fromOne inseparable part of relationships is giving. In fact, I believe that there is no genuine relationship without giving. Whether it is giving your time, attention, money, or just a smile, genuine relationship is all about giving. And believe it or not, there is great joy in giving. We often think only about ourselves that we forget the joy of giving. Life is wonderful when we are thinking about others and not just ourselves.
3. Only through relationships can you give lasting impact to othersWhich advice will you listen more, the one from someone you don’t really know, or the one from someone you love? Of course the latter. We appreciate the people we love more than anyone else. Their words sink deep into our heart, not just our mind. That’s why the most effective way to give lasting impact to others is by building relationships with them. Be their friend and care about them, and I’m sure they will listen to you and respect your opinions.
4. Through relationships you have the people to support you in times of troubleWhen we face difficult times, we need other people to support us. No one can take care of everything by himself. When the world looks dark and the problem looks big, nothing is more valuable than the support of people we love. They encourage us to go through, they accompany us in the time of trouble, and they are willing to share the burden with us. The journey will become much easier.
5. Eventually, relationships are the only things that matterWhen people are dying they do not think about their achievements and awards. They don’t care whether they are rich or famous. All those things become meaningless when people are face-to-face with death. All they want is having the people they love around them. They want the warm of love to be with them in their last moments. Nothing else matters. They realize that, eventually, relationships are the only things that matter. We should not wait until that moment come. We’d better realize it now.

LOVE: THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING ACCORDING TO ME (PERFECT MEN DON'T EXIST....GOOD MEN ARE EVERYWHERE)

• If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.
• If you have 100 reasons to reject a man, expect to live alone when you get older.
• Prince Charming is gay.
• Rich, attractive, nice - you can only have two in a man.
• If you ask a man on a first date how much he earns or what kind of car he drives, he gets to look at your bare breasts while you are still in the restaurant.
• If you answer your cell phone during a first date, he has the right to immediately get up and leave with no explanation.
• Choosey and "stuck up" are closely related.
• At 40, single "Rules Girls" become single, lonely women.
• If you expect a man to pay for everything, you'll need a strong jaw and a good tongue.
• It's OK not to want kids. It's not OK to sacrifice your personal life and goals for your career.
• The kharmic retribution for putting good men into the "Friend Zone" while getting hurt by bad boys is to become bitter, angry, and the owner of at least three cats.
• You are not a princess no matter what your T-Shirt states. If you really think you are a princess, then you'd better have the body of a stripper, the face of an angel, and the personality of a saint. Even so, only Prince Charming can marry a princess and Prince Charming is gay. And White.
• Your single girlfriends don't want you to have a happy relationship with a man. Consider this when listening to their advice.
• A man won't say "I love you" until he is 100% confident that you won't use this against him. This might take years, be patient because men can be sensitive, too.
• Taking the time to look your best is not optional. After all, if you can catch his eye then you can catch his heart. Being agreeable, pleasant, and happy will seal the deal.
• Smiles and laughter are contagious and can melt any man's heart.
• The unintended consequence of independence is loneliness.
• There is a fine line between expecting that a man pay for everything and being a common prostitute.
• Excessive complaining is neither attractive nor polite.
• You are entitled to nothing. However, you can expect rewards for working hard for something.
• Before you say "it's all his fault" after a bad date, look closely in the mirror.
• It's not always men making you unhappy. Don't let bitter women convince you of that.
• Being strong doesn't mean being bitchy. Southern women have known this for generations.
• You cannot have it all. Please have the good sense to realize this.
• Compromise is not surrender, it's what is necessary to have a good relationship.
• Don't expect men to fall all over you just because you are a woman. Feminism taught men to be independent, too.
• There's nothing wrong with looking feminine.
• If he doesn't call you back, it means he's just not really into you. Deal with it.
• If you meet a man, don't find reasons to reject him or things to change in him. Find reasons to accept him and respect him.
• "As if" and "whatever" are immature insults used by 12 year olds, not intelligent women.
• The common word in "drink whore" and "dinner whore" is still whore.
• Sorry, it's NOT all about you, so you can change your T-Shirt now.
• Many men would rather chase women, not girls.
• Given the current state of divorce laws, don't expect any man to marry you. It's not you, it's just how things are right now.
• Hanging around gay men won't give you any useful insights about straight men. Frankly, hanging around gay men is just creepy.
• "No fat chicks" is the man's version of "If you're rich, I'm single".
• Winning a man is easy, keeping a man requires hard work.
• Advertising "Bitch" on your T-Shirt or sweatpants won't get you any dates. Single men don't care for that attitude.
• Deferring self-gratification is a sign of maturity. You can wait until dinner even if you're hungry now.
• The real world is pushy, rude, and often unpleasant. That doesn't mean you have to be the same way.
• Perfect men don't exist. Good men are everywhere

LOVE: A QUESTION FROM A FAN: "ISN'T IT BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO BE WITH A GUY WHO'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU? "

When one class of people get more "choices" than another, usually it is because another class had choices taken away from them. The implementation of feminism is a train wreck, marginalising almost everyone apart from "women who want careers and to remain single". It has also placed women in direct competition with people they are supposed to cooperate with. In case you didn't realise competition and cooperation are mutually exclusive. That is why we don't celebrate it.

The fact is, in this supposed age of equality a woman has, inordinately supported by society by things like 60% enrolement rates in universities for women, made herself the equal of most potential suitors out there, but still clings to the idea that she is to be swept off her feet. How about SHE tries sweeping THEM off THEIR feet? Oh wait, that would really be equal so we can't have that..

Fact is, these hypocritical "strong" women, which really only means "has stronger demands" are no prize catch. The reason she is focused on being swept off her feet is due to her inability and unwillingness to do it for someone else. Fine, they don't make good marriage material and so will be justly avoided.

If you are in a marriage and have the same attitude that these single women display, that men have to bend over backwards for them, and that their claims of being "strong" can only be justified in a competitive context, then your marriage will be unhappy. We have a 60% divorce rate people and declining marriage rate. Care to guess why?


The problem starts when women assume all men are jerks, because they were crapped on by 2 or 3 guys that really WERE jerks. Then, they refuse to date, Not because they are happier that way, but because they are afraid to take a risk. Funny thing though -- a woman has a lot of control over how jerk-ey a guy is to her!! I mean, if you let someone walk all over you, they will!!

It is much better to be with someone who is generally happy. I'm not talking about a woman who is giddy about everything all the time when common sense doesn't support it. I'm talking about a generally happy woman that I don't have to worry about dragging me down every day with negativity.

"Women may have few incentives to get married nowadays too- they can make own money, buy their own houses, raise their children, and whatever the hell else they want. Who needs a man- we can get sex at any corner pub- just like a man. At the end of the day what we have is a woman, so much in love with herself that she cannot love someone else, has just realised she will never get married as a result and is now trying to go all sour grapes by encouraging other women to do the same.

Feminism's lone universal tenet is that women are equal to men, and should be treated as such. That's equal to, not "the same as." In fact, much of the time, feminism has focused on trying to elevate those experiences that are necessarily unique to women (e.g. childbirth, motherhood, etc.) in the public mind. It does not call for us all to grow penises and behave as men do.

Beyond that one central idea of equality, feminism has as many faces as there are women. If you believe women should be allowed to be educated, to hold jobs they love if they choose to, to stay home and raise their children if they want, to vote, to serve in the military, to inherit property, to marry for love, to divorce men who beat them...then you are a feminist!

I think the modern man marries the modern woman because he loves her and wants to have a smart, capable partner to travel through life with. What you describe, semper fi, is a mere housekeeper/prostitute. Why on earth would any intelligent man settle for that when he could have one of us? We're fabulous!

We place a lot more emphasis on marrying for love's sake - whether or not this is actually the best way to marry is questionable, judging the modern divorce statistics. Of course, if you've been in love, the idea of marrying for anything other than love seems unbearable. I agree. But love is so volatile - it's unbelievably, breathtakingly wonderful when you're in it, and when you fight or it's fading it can be devastating. I guess the reason that marriages based on qualities other than love last because you learn to work around that and you develop a comfortable kind of love, that is much more stable and promotes longevity in a relationship.

With feminism, it assumes that because men and women were not the same, women were somehow given the short end of the stick and denied freedoms. well, then why not accept that when it comes to mental or emotional matter woman are not the same either?

Women may not want this old model of marriage, but they ought to know that many men do not want this new model of marriage, especially with the divorce/child custody laws being what they are. There has to be something in it for the men with less risks than current marriage. If a woman wants any marriage(granted a few women don't - most do), she needs to open her eyes and look at the culture around her and figure out why men are less likely to get married.

Women ration sex men ration comittment. If a man wants sex he has to appeal to a woman in that way, if a woman wants marriage she has to offer him something that he can't get outside of marriage. You can't really make a man want a new model of marriage. He is allowed to want what he wants. The marriage rate is only going to decline.

Feminism was created to make the world more equal for women, in effect- to level the playing field. Here is where it gets touchy. Who knows why women are underrepresented in the blue collar fields? I could guess lack of physical strength as a possiblity. Or maybe since more women graduate college than men they are getting the white collar jobs and the men get the blue collar jobs. Or that the women working the blue collar jobs haven't found their voice as easily as those who occupy white collar jobs (due to education and $). WHo knows?

Men give up random sex for marriage. In return women should give up- all hopes dreams and ambitions that lay outside the clean, warm, apple pie smelling home? I am not saying women don't desire marriage. women have never in history married in order to get sex. they have married for secruity, stability and to fulfill their desire to love and nuture one man for the long term.

True men have a biological urge to spread their seed. But when marriage offers them something they can't get elsewhere: a stable warm, clean happy home that they can raise children in, then they see it as in their best interest and as in the best interest of their children. in order for them to give up the freedom to sleep with as many women as possible their has to be a tradeoff. the long history of marriage shows that historically men were willing to do that. Now the marriage rate has fallen when they can get sex easily and their are less women willing to accept a complimentary (but not competing) role in the family.

A great article for young women who are starting to realize that feminism sold them an empty bag of goods is "the absurdity of feminism" by Jacob van Flossen.

The fact is women have a biological urge to love and care for a man and his children for the long term. When they fight against that natural urge we become miserable. Too many choices lead to misery and confusion not satisfaction. Short term flings and singlehood aren;t going to bring women happiness.

Fact is men have few incentives to marry when sex is easy to come by and women refuse to fulfill traditional roles that made a wife valuable. I do think a lot of women are too picky. I once tried to set someone up with a nice guy, good sense of humor, good job, etc. She wouldn't go because she said he had bad teeth. First off, they weren't that bad, since I'd seen him often and had never once thought of him as having bad teeth. Second, even if he had bad teeth, so what? First, he wasn't a horse! If he were the man of her dreams with bad teeth, she could just gently suggest he get them fixed, couldn't she? But she'd have none of it. Second, it was ONE date, not a lifetime commitment. But she wouldn't even consider him. Why not give a decent guy a chance at least?Another woman I know won't date any men in her dad's profession because she thinks it would be creepy to "date her dad" ala Freud...

Anyway, both of them are now in their late 30s and still single, and they're not happy about it.

Selectivity about the things that truly matter is very important. Does he respect you? Does he make you feel good about yourself? Do you get excited about being with him? Do you laugh together? Do you share the same long-term goals? Does he seem like the kind of person you'd be friends with? Can you see yourself staying with him when you're 70?

But if you rule out perfectly good men for dumb, superficial reasons, or rule out "all men who...", then you might want to rethink your strategy. Sometimes your assumptions about "all men who..." are wrong. Sometimes what you think is right for you is wrong. Sometimes a guy's teeth aren't the most important thing.

I know it's a cliche, but it's true: you can't really love someone else until you love yourself. There was a time in my life when I went from bad relationship to bad relationship because I was afraid to be alone. Staying home (even on a weeknight) was agonizing. I couldn't stand my own company. But eventually I decided that I needed to stand on my own two feet. Okay, more like I got dumped and was heartbroken and was forced to stand on my own two feet.