When one class of people get more "choices" than another, usually it is because another class had choices taken away from them. The implementation of feminism is a train wreck, marginalising almost everyone apart from "women who want careers and to remain single". It has also placed women in direct competition with people they are supposed to cooperate with. In case you didn't realise competition and cooperation are mutually exclusive. That is why we don't celebrate it.
The fact is, in this supposed age of equality a woman has, inordinately supported by society by things like 60% enrolement rates in universities for women, made herself the equal of most potential suitors out there, but still clings to the idea that she is to be swept off her feet. How about SHE tries sweeping THEM off THEIR feet? Oh wait, that would really be equal so we can't have that..
Fact is, these hypocritical "strong" women, which really only means "has stronger demands" are no prize catch. The reason she is focused on being swept off her feet is due to her inability and unwillingness to do it for someone else. Fine, they don't make good marriage material and so will be justly avoided.
If you are in a marriage and have the same attitude that these single women display, that men have to bend over backwards for them, and that their claims of being "strong" can only be justified in a competitive context, then your marriage will be unhappy. We have a 60% divorce rate people and declining marriage rate. Care to guess why?
The problem starts when women assume all men are jerks, because they were crapped on by 2 or 3 guys that really WERE jerks. Then, they refuse to date, Not because they are happier that way, but because they are afraid to take a risk. Funny thing though -- a woman has a lot of control over how jerk-ey a guy is to her!! I mean, if you let someone walk all over you, they will!!
It is much better to be with someone who is generally happy. I'm not talking about a woman who is giddy about everything all the time when common sense doesn't support it. I'm talking about a generally happy woman that I don't have to worry about dragging me down every day with negativity.
"Women may have few incentives to get married nowadays too- they can make own money, buy their own houses, raise their children, and whatever the hell else they want. Who needs a man- we can get sex at any corner pub- just like a man. At the end of the day what we have is a woman, so much in love with herself that she cannot love someone else, has just realised she will never get married as a result and is now trying to go all sour grapes by encouraging other women to do the same.
Feminism's lone universal tenet is that women are equal to men, and should be treated as such. That's equal to, not "the same as." In fact, much of the time, feminism has focused on trying to elevate those experiences that are necessarily unique to women (e.g. childbirth, motherhood, etc.) in the public mind. It does not call for us all to grow penises and behave as men do.
Beyond that one central idea of equality, feminism has as many faces as there are women. If you believe women should be allowed to be educated, to hold jobs they love if they choose to, to stay home and raise their children if they want, to vote, to serve in the military, to inherit property, to marry for love, to divorce men who beat them...then you are a feminist!
I think the modern man marries the modern woman because he loves her and wants to have a smart, capable partner to travel through life with. What you describe, semper fi, is a mere housekeeper/prostitute. Why on earth would any intelligent man settle for that when he could have one of us? We're fabulous!
We place a lot more emphasis on marrying for love's sake - whether or not this is actually the best way to marry is questionable, judging the modern divorce statistics. Of course, if you've been in love, the idea of marrying for anything other than love seems unbearable. I agree. But love is so volatile - it's unbelievably, breathtakingly wonderful when you're in it, and when you fight or it's fading it can be devastating. I guess the reason that marriages based on qualities other than love last because you learn to work around that and you develop a comfortable kind of love, that is much more stable and promotes longevity in a relationship.
With feminism, it assumes that because men and women were not the same, women were somehow given the short end of the stick and denied freedoms. well, then why not accept that when it comes to mental or emotional matter woman are not the same either?
Women may not want this old model of marriage, but they ought to know that many men do not want this new model of marriage, especially with the divorce/child custody laws being what they are. There has to be something in it for the men with less risks than current marriage. If a woman wants any marriage(granted a few women don't - most do), she needs to open her eyes and look at the culture around her and figure out why men are less likely to get married.
Women ration sex men ration comittment. If a man wants sex he has to appeal to a woman in that way, if a woman wants marriage she has to offer him something that he can't get outside of marriage. You can't really make a man want a new model of marriage. He is allowed to want what he wants. The marriage rate is only going to decline.
Feminism was created to make the world more equal for women, in effect- to level the playing field. Here is where it gets touchy. Who knows why women are underrepresented in the blue collar fields? I could guess lack of physical strength as a possiblity. Or maybe since more women graduate college than men they are getting the white collar jobs and the men get the blue collar jobs. Or that the women working the blue collar jobs haven't found their voice as easily as those who occupy white collar jobs (due to education and $). WHo knows?
Men give up random sex for marriage. In return women should give up- all hopes dreams and ambitions that lay outside the clean, warm, apple pie smelling home? I am not saying women don't desire marriage. women have never in history married in order to get sex. they have married for secruity, stability and to fulfill their desire to love and nuture one man for the long term.
True men have a biological urge to spread their seed. But when marriage offers them something they can't get elsewhere: a stable warm, clean happy home that they can raise children in, then they see it as in their best interest and as in the best interest of their children. in order for them to give up the freedom to sleep with as many women as possible their has to be a tradeoff. the long history of marriage shows that historically men were willing to do that. Now the marriage rate has fallen when they can get sex easily and their are less women willing to accept a complimentary (but not competing) role in the family.
A great article for young women who are starting to realize that feminism sold them an empty bag of goods is "the absurdity of feminism" by Jacob van Flossen.
The fact is women have a biological urge to love and care for a man and his children for the long term. When they fight against that natural urge we become miserable. Too many choices lead to misery and confusion not satisfaction. Short term flings and singlehood aren;t going to bring women happiness.
Fact is men have few incentives to marry when sex is easy to come by and women refuse to fulfill traditional roles that made a wife valuable. I do think a lot of women are too picky. I once tried to set someone up with a nice guy, good sense of humor, good job, etc. She wouldn't go because she said he had bad teeth. First off, they weren't that bad, since I'd seen him often and had never once thought of him as having bad teeth. Second, even if he had bad teeth, so what? First, he wasn't a horse! If he were the man of her dreams with bad teeth, she could just gently suggest he get them fixed, couldn't she? But she'd have none of it. Second, it was ONE date, not a lifetime commitment. But she wouldn't even consider him. Why not give a decent guy a chance at least?Another woman I know won't date any men in her dad's profession because she thinks it would be creepy to "date her dad" ala Freud...
Anyway, both of them are now in their late 30s and still single, and they're not happy about it.
Selectivity about the things that truly matter is very important. Does he respect you? Does he make you feel good about yourself? Do you get excited about being with him? Do you laugh together? Do you share the same long-term goals? Does he seem like the kind of person you'd be friends with? Can you see yourself staying with him when you're 70?
But if you rule out perfectly good men for dumb, superficial reasons, or rule out "all men who...", then you might want to rethink your strategy. Sometimes your assumptions about "all men who..." are wrong. Sometimes what you think is right for you is wrong. Sometimes a guy's teeth aren't the most important thing.
I know it's a cliche, but it's true: you can't really love someone else until you love yourself. There was a time in my life when I went from bad relationship to bad relationship because I was afraid to be alone. Staying home (even on a weeknight) was agonizing. I couldn't stand my own company. But eventually I decided that I needed to stand on my own two feet. Okay, more like I got dumped and was heartbroken and was forced to stand on my own two feet.
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