PERSONAL : PLEASE GOD...HELP ME

Dear God,

I am having such a bad day today. I am so sad. I can't stop crying.

A lot of people say having your heart broken is like someone ripping your heart out of your chest. It is so much worse than that. Having your heart broken feels like someone trying to rip your heart out from wherever they can access it. They beat you in the stomach, they rip at your throat, they pound on your head, but eventually, ripping your heart straight out of your chest is the only option. So they do it. And then they squeeze your heart and they throw it around and step on it and tear it apart with dull fingernails. They rip it to shreds and just because it’s no longer in your body doesn’t mean you don’t feel all of this at full intensity.

The pain becomes overwhelming so you scream and cry at the hurt that is happening to you. Everywhere. Everything hurts. There is a physical pain: constant headache, burning eyes, nausea, body soreness. There is a mental pain: constant questioning of her, yourself, the situation, rethinking every nuance of every phrase said and every event passed, over thinking to the point where your mind is a constant buzz of nonstop action without any focus. You flip between hating her for hurting you and hating yourself for letting it happen.

Dealing with a broken heart is a lot like being trapped underwater. You struggle a lot at first, learning to hold your breath, often faltering and getting lungs full of water, choking until your whole body burns. You try to find the surface because you don’t want to hold your breath anymore. It’s hard and painful and you want a reprieve. But you can’t seem to find the top. And you struggle some more and your lungs cry out, you cry out, for anyone to help. But eventually you resign to the burning and the lack of oxygen and you allow yourself to just drown. When you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, suddenly you’ll start to float up. Nature takes over and you gasp a fresh breath of air right before he kicks you down again, foot to the gut, and you fall lower. You never hit rock bottom before, because this is much worse. You struggle again and it hurts more even when you thought it wasn’t possible to. I imagine this keeps happening and I’m not sure how it’ll end. I’m still drowning, occasionally resurfacing only to be pushed further into heartache. I want to stay afloat but succumbing to the water seems to be my only option now. I am lost and there is no way I can find the surface on my own.

I come to you with my heart in my hands.

There are pieces of it that are missing, given to woman who couldn’t love me the way I needed to be loved. There are arteries with tiny holes, for all the ways I’ve convinced myself I wasn’t enough. There are veins that pump too wildly because sometimes there’s just too much emotion happening in there. There are parts that are bruised; I haven’t been so good with guarding what you’ve given me.

But my heart’s still intact; though days like today it sure doesn’t feel like it.

Today I come to you with this heart: this tired heart, this big heart, this silly heart that keeps giving itself away. I come to you with loss, with breakage, with fear for the future and how I’m ever going to let love back in. I come to you still wrestling with my feelings for a woman who I’m no longer with, 

I come to you with all of me, hoping that somehow you’ll repair the damage

God, you’ve given me the gift of love. You’ve blessed me, blessed all of us humans with hearts to let others in, with the ability to connect in ways we can’t even explain or comprehend sometimes. It’s so wonderful. But sometimes I don’t understand it.

Why do you let me fall for people who maybe aren’t right for me? Why do you allow me to have such powerful emotions, such profound relationships if they’re eventually going to fail? 

What’s the lesson am I supposed to be learning—To not settle until we’ve found the real thing? To look for love like your love? To be strong in loss?—and why must I learn it in such a painful way?

You brought this wonderful woman into my life. You let me fall for her, let my heart become intertwined with her,You allowed me to have feelings, deep feelings that sometimes I question looking back.

If she wasn’t right for me, God, then why did you let me love her?

I guess that’s one of the things I’ll always wonder. Maybe you brought her into my life to teach me how to let others in. Maybe she was supposed to be a blessing for a time, but also a lesson. 

Maybe we were meant to be temporary, not permanent because we belong to other people. Maybe our breakup will make me stronger in time.

But God, it’s so hard to know your purpose sometimes. It’s so hard to make sense of the ache in my chest. 

I come to you today with my heart in fragments. I come to you today with bitterness and anger, with doubt and frustration, with loneliness and fear. I come to you, wondering why. 

God, my heart feels tired. Tired of being stepped on. Tired of being left. Tired of being taken advantage of. Tired of being given to the wrong person, only to end up empty in the end.

I need you to renew strength in me. 

Please give me the strength to let go—of the past, of the pain, of her. Help me to see that  my broken heart is not who I am, that I will find love again. Show me that you are here for me, and that if I trust you with my heart, you will guide me to the right person and onto the right path, no matter how far I have strayed.

God, give me the strength to let go and pursue love again. Give me the compassion to move on from what’s been lost and follow in your ways. And please, bless this woman I loved and watch over her, too. We may have gone our separate ways, but I still thank you for putting her in my life.

Maybe I won’t know the reason now, but she showed me love for a period of time, and even though my heart still aches, I know in time I will understand it was all a part of your plan.

POETRY: THE LONLINESS TAKES OVER

He walks away,
tears streaking his face,
she can taste their saltiness,

His heart has been pierced,
the emptiness is scraping at his soul,
as her words echo in her head.

Her face is imprinted in his mind,
the pain in them is burning,

His hands tremble as he quietly sobs,
he lies on his bed, as the warm afternoon sun glows,
the lonliness takes over.

PART 2

We began as some seeds that grow,
Not knowing where we would go.
Day after day our love was so true,
Not even distance could stop what grew.

Sometimes we didn't always agree, 
But the love we had would overcome you see.
Many days I thought about me and you,
Of our love that would always be true.

There's not one morning that goes by,
That I didn't have you on my mind.
Maybe time has stolen you from me,
But I know one day, time will give away.

Sometimes I wonder, was it to be,  
But love will conquer as you will see.
When I get lost without being with you,
I think of the future when it will be so true.  

One day my heart will beat again,
When you will be in my arms again.
You will always be my little flower,
And forever, my heart and power.




Part 3




Not too long ago,
I stood tall on a mountain top
Hand-in-hand with you.
The sun shone bright
Directly down upon us,
The day was so new.

Then a cloud rolled in,
Covered up the sky,
Sudden winds blew.
Soon we began to slip,
And we wondered: Will
this storm ever roll through?

It hurts so much
My mind, body and soul
The tears flow out of control
Leaving in my heart, a hole.
I'm holding in my hands,
Tightly, all of our plans
Waiting for you to hold on, too
So this storm can finally
Roll through.

PERSONAL: MY HEART IS BROKEN

A while ago, I was in a relationsip, during a completely unexpected time in my life—she came out of nowhere, and was nothing and everything I imagined her to be. From the beginning, I saw and felt something in her that I haven't felt in a long time. She actually told me how perfect I was...something I haven't heard since Joanne..and that is a long long long time ago. I don't know why i am crying writing this. I didn't want to get hurt. I told her everything about me. Everything. I didn't hide anything. All my fears, secrets, everything and she still wanted to be with me. She even told me how she wanted to have my baby...my child. She read my blog. This was just one of the many things that connected us, though it undoubtedly fostered the intensity and depth we experienced together. And when she told me she loved me... Our love was wild and enveloping—consumptive, fiery, powerful, and in every sense deeply felt.

 We quickly entered a committed relationship.But I knew things would change....i would tell her that her feeling for me would change, she kept telling me it will not, that I was perfect for her. And with that...with her reassurance, I open my heart wide...after having the worst year last year...losing my father, breaking up with a girlfriend and being ill.

I really don't know where I went wrong. I was honest, Constantly giving....loving... always saying yes to her. I don't know what more I could have done? HOW MUCH MORE HONEST CAN I BE IN  THIS RELATIONSHIP? I guess the resentment started when every little thing I wanted us to do she would say NO. I later found out, it was not intentional, her business is not doing well. and  she want to get out and she is under so much stress that she can't handle anymore stress. I would have been more understanding if she was more open about this in the beginning.

She gave me a taste of love and took it all away. She told me she would never take herself away from me and did. I ask her to promise me to never leave me when we had sex for the first time and she did. Those few months, my life was perfect. Everything was falling into place.

I loved her so much and I still love her... I am constantly tormenting myself hoping that she will just change and love me like she did before but it only ends up hurting me more because she never acts out of my expectations

You know, all along I had thought the word “heartbreak” was just a metaphor to describe deep sadness. I didn’t realize it was an actual descriptor. 

Here was the woman who promised me she would never let me go, who earn my trust,who told me she loved me, whom I trusted with all my heart.  She turned out to be the same woman who hurt me the most. I guess the death of my father and my illness made my heart open more and became more sensitive. My heart felt like it had cracked and broken into different pieces. I felt both emotional pain and physical pain in my heart.

Many people know me as a strong guy, independent, fearless, who wasn’t daunted by anything. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be unaffected despite what happened. No pity parties, no sob stories. I was no sap. I wanted to stand up tall and overcome whatever was before me.


But inside me, was a little boy: small, vulnerable, angry and hurt. I was crushed. As much as I tried to be strong, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I had opened myself up to this woman, trusted her, fell for her, I concluded that if she didn't love me enough because I wasn’t good enough.


This is just a simple post one that holds pieces of my pain and also of my faith. These are just a series of sentences strung together and addressed to the holder of the fragmented pieces of my heart. She looked at me in a way that stirred a place inside my soul I hadn’t known existed. .

Dear You Know Who,

Let me explain to you what it feels like to be told you are perfect in every way. Let me convey the emotions that rip through a man like myself when he is convinced he is someone’s forever. Let me express the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside of a guy who built up wall after wall only to feel as though they were peacefully torn down by a woman who pulled him deeply into her love. I cannot formulate those emotions into words the same way I cannot describe the way it felt to have you rip that all to pieces.

I want you to know that I loved you. I even loved you when you decided that you didn’t love me anymore. I think a part of me still loves you while I sit here in the darkness, face hot with tears and disillusionment.

The difference between you and I is that my love is unwavering. It is a love that is deep inside of my soul and gives restoration to my faith in other people. People in this world are going to hurt me. They have, and they will again. They will love me and leave me. Sometimes they will do both, as you have decided to do. You have shattered my heart, but you have not shattered my love. Love is not something that is cast aside and broken. It is something that resides safely inside of each and every one us if we choose to recognize it.

You have broken my heart, but you have not broken my love. I know you have it too, deep inside of you, and my love allows me to genuinely hope that you will understand it one day. There are no simple letters written about simple heartbreaks. There is only one simple concept, and that is that love is the most powerful entity in the world. So, I will probably allow a few more tears to fall down for the next few months in your honor. I will most likely shed more when see something I know would make you smile. But I will be OK. I will be OK because the love inside of me is strong and true. I will be OK because no matter how many people trample on my heart, they will never take my love. No one can.

With love,




The sadness I am feeling now is exactly what it is—sadness. As much as I want to move on, I also want to pause and savor the experience of this grief, to remember the best and worst parts of what we were together and keep them in my memory, in my heart. I have never known this type of sadness—that is at once all embracing and pervasive and also enlightening—pain that is melancholic without being melancholy itself. In the mornings, I wake up, I shower, I do my work (albeit distractedly), I cry and remember and yearn and regret, I can relate to and empathize with humanity in a new way, now acquainted with the devastation of heartbreak...just like when my father died last years.

The beginnings of love and a broken heart are quite similar - cruelly so. The gut-wrenching feeling of not being able to eat or sleep or function without thinking of someone? Present and correct. The difference is that when you’re in love, you know it’s only going to get better. With a broken heart, you have no such guarantee.

It’s amazing how much we try to convince ourselves that we are fine but our heart knows the truth and never fails to remind us with the painful pang of memories Even reading this now, I have tears in my eyes because I so desperately wanted to believe the words that I wrote. Maybe I believed them at the time, as my mind was swimming with optimism. The reality was that I would not be “just fine” for quite some time. And that’s ok.



How do I mend a broken heart ?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day,
when the one I love has gone away ?
My mind overflows with memories of you,
of all that we've shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
the look in your eyes, the smile on your face.
My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
when my one true love and I are apart ?
My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do ?
Our moments together were precious and few,
but I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you my angel and always will,
I loved you then and I love you still.

DATING: ANYONE WHO'S EVER HAD A HEART ........WOULDN'T TURN AROUND AND BREAK IT

Anyone who's ever had a heart Wouldn't turn around and break it Yet why do so many woman break your heart?

DATING: A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK

Despite women being half of the world's population (around 2.5 billion at the time) there were only around 1,000 potential future wife for me. Starting with that global population number, I narrowed it down to women living in the United States within a preferred age range who were single, didn't have kids or smoke, who'd reached a desirable level of education, and was heterosexual and want to get married.

I then hypothesized further as to how many of these women would have a wicked sense of humor or kind eyes,  tolerate my neatness, watch movies with me, love sex and will appreciate me.  When all was said and done, I figured there were probably only a handful woman in the United States that would be a match. Talk about a needle in a haystack!

DATING: LOVE IS NOT A NOUN BUT A VERB

Love is a verb, not a noun. I mention this on my blog many times.

When you tell someone you love them….those words can be soothing and reassuring, but this generally comes after this love has manifested itself via actions or behavior in some way. Otherwise, the words by themselves (can) mean very little.

Loving someone and expressing love are not the same thing. The feeling and the action are not the same.You can love a plant unconditionally, but if you don’t water it, the plant will die.

Many people are looking for “chemistry” in their love lives. They want someone who stirs up their feelings of admiration, attraction, and desire.   It’s like they want to be handed a surprise gift.  A neat little package containing all of the feelings we associate with love, especially the way “true love” and “love at first sight” is conveyed in the movies and songs that define our culture. Is it any surprise, then, that divorce rates are so high?  Is it any surprise so many people are in serial relationships that last only months or a few years before they renew their search for “better chemistry?”

Love is not chemistry. Love is a choice.

The feelings we associate with love (admiration, desire, possessiveness, generosity, et cetera) are just that; feelings associated with love, especially when choices to love are being reciprocated and the challenges we face are relatively small.   And these feelings are all good.  But they are not love.

Love is decision.  It is a verb.  It is the process of making every day choices that honor a relationship which includes commitments of serving another persons, whether that be a new born child you barely know, a parent you’ve known all your life, or your fiance’ on your wedding day.

It is the every day decisions to make little or big choices to honor this desire and decision to love that shapes us into loving persons. Consistently choosing to love makes us better people.   Every choice to love reinforces one or more virtues which become the habits which shape our character.

Put another way, love is what we choose to give to others in the process of being the best persons we can be.

Love is a choice, not a feeling.  Feelings come and go, and if we choose to base our most important relationships on how we feel at any particular moment, we are in for a rough and rocky journey.  

Love is verb, not a noun.  Love is something we do, not something that happens to us.

Love is a verb.  Love–the feeling–is a fruit of love, the verb.  So love him  Serve him.  Sacrifice. Listen to him.  Empathize.  Appreciate. Affirm him  Are you willing to do that?

Our modern culture equates intimacy with sex and proclaims love is a feeling.  On both counts we are being massively deceived, sex is only the shadow of intimacy; feelings are just the aroma of the flower we call love . . . and flowers are not always in bloom.

You can only choose to love.  you cannot determine whether someone else will love you.  But if in every situation you choose to love, nothing and no one can diminish you.  Others may choose not to love you in return, but that doesn’t diminish you.  Their failure to love is their failure alone and diminishes only themselves.

Love is a constant gesture. It is a million “I love you” text messages, phone calls to show you care, warm embraces, tender hugs and kisses, dates, smiles, and winks. Love is  finding a compromise where no one wins 100%, but it’s something everyone can live with. Love is washing work shirts for your partner because they are pinned between the late shift and the morning shift. Love looks like managing the budget because your partner isn’t always so good at that sort of thing. Love means proofreading a million college papers, and working a crappy full-time job at a hardware store so that your


“Love is a verb.” And for those of you with children, you know what this looks like. You know how much love there is in staying up with a sick, feverish, child, or hunching next to squirmy grade-schooler, helping with homework, feeling tired and frustrated after a long day.he reality is that real, long-term love isn’t drug-like or euphoric. It’s practical, sacrificial, and passionate. It’s intentional. It’s about action and compromise. And most importantly, it means reaching deep inside yourself, and realizing that sometimes you don’t always love the person that you are with.

It isn’t easy, but neither is marriage.

DATING: KEEPING YOUR WORD

When I was married, my wife had a habit of making promises and not keeping them. That was a big issue with our marriage. I could never trust her. To me, keeping your promise and saying you are doing something and doing it is the foundation of any relationship. I am just tired of being let down.

 I wouldn’t feel good about myself if I didn’t keep my word. My word means something to me — I do not take it lightly.

I do not trust people who don’t keep their word. If someone lets me down a number of times, then I know they are not reliable. I find that this limits my desire to spend time with them, which is sometimes sad, but I have learned to accept that I cannot trust them to follow through on what they say they are going to do.

I lose respect for people whose word doesn’t mean anything to them. I end up feeling manipulated when someone says they are going to do something and then doesn’t do it. Of course, I give them leeway at the beginning. There may be a good reason they didn’t do what they said they were going to do. But if it happens over and over, I accept that I can’t rely on them and my respect for them goes down.

People make promises for all sorts of reasons. They say they will do things and then fail to follow through and when others consistently let you down, it becomes difficult to trust. The reason for this lack of integrity is often a lack of discipline. Their intentions may be good but then they get distracted, forget, or find a reason (excuse) not to follow through. Then there are those who promise things without any intention of following through. There is no such thing as different degrees of promise. Either you do or you don't. This counts for the little things too.

When your schedule is too full to keep the promise and there isn’t any way you could keep it, it’s better not to promise anything than disappoint your partner.

When you promise something, the other person must assume it's a done deal. Your word should be like currency. It's money in the bank for someone who is counting on it. That being said, you shouldn't dole it out over everything and anything, or it will lose its value. Because your word is like currency, you must give it only when the occasion is important enough to call for it. The person you are promising something to must be able to recognize that your promise has value. You don't give money out to every Tony, Dick or Harry do you? Why do the same with your word?

Some folks apply a rating scale, believing that breaking a big promise is inexcusable, while a small one is acceptable. That’s simply false, trust is built through a series of experiences shared with others. When behavior is consistent, faith in the relationship develops. When promises are broken or people are misled, the bonds of trust are breached. Broken promises imply that the offenders either didn’t think before making the promises, or don’t care that they’ve let you down. They’re also implying that their needs are more important than yours

Every time you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can place their trust in you because you value integrity and would never let them down.

POETRY:EVERY MOMENT

Oh her eyes... Those beautiful, sparkling eyes, The source of all her passions, The teller of no lies. Oh her lips... Those soft and tender lips, Where upon the glass of life, She savours and she sips. Oh her hair... Her dark hair, That drapes upon her shoulders, Showing perfection, oh so rare. Oh her face... Her stunning, beguiling face, Where heaven can be sought, And God can be embraced. Oh her form... Her delicate, slender form, In dreams, beside me lay... So tender and so warm. Oh her soul... Her gentle caring soul, That longs for love in life, Yet, life just can't console. Oh God, Oh her... With her imperfections much, Yet, when I think of love, It?s her soul I long to touch. PART 2 You, who are my immortal light, I ask that you save me from my eternal plight. You, who are my love and my life, I plead that you save me from this immortal strife. You, who are the one I treasure most, I beg that you lead me to a forgotten coast. You, who are the one of which I dream, I request that you remain all that you seem. You, who are the one I most desire, I ask that you stoke my inner fire. You, who are most pristine, I beg that you heed my lonely keen. You, who are the only one for me, I ask that you remain all that I see. You, who are my love and my life, I plead that you save me form this immortal strife.

PART 3

how wonderful it is to find you, after a time of feeling alone. everything looks better with you, of that i know for sure. in an instant i lost my heart... it gave itself to you. because it knew you would take good care of it. you stole my heart indeed it's true. i can't do anything about it. i'm yours and cannot escape from your life. you filled my heart with your love and your care. in a moment everything changed. what i waited and wished for finally got here. what in everyone else i couldn't find, i found in you. i don't ever want to lose you. PART 4 With hands together and lips that touch two people enjoy each other so much! Time flies fast and temperatures rise each individual looking into the other's eyes. It's time to part and in separate cars they go their hearts' passion they now truly know. PART 5 Every moment, since our first Danced lovingly through my mind Every smile, every laugh, every tear. How lucky I am to have had those times, Luckier still, to have more. Tomorrow is a day I always look towards, Tomorrow is another day with her. Her thoughts of me find my heart, Her thoughts are kind and pure. Her thoughts, to me, I return in kind. As I think of her once more. The curve of her cheek as she looks past my gaze Leads my heart to her lovely face. This moment, like so many, catches me drifting, Luck is mine once more. Every moment, since our first Has been lovelier than the last, Every smile, every laugh, every giggle, every Her... As I simply sit here next to her, These thoughts keep filling my mind; As I simply sit here next to her, I smile, and smile, and smile.

LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate,

I have always loved you. Many may find this strange. But those who have experienced it will understand completely.

You see, I’ve always loved you. Always. Way before I knew you, before you even thought of me and before I even thought of you, I already knew you. And when I saw you for the very first time, I recognized you instantly. I puzzled for a while, questioning where I’d saw your face and slowly it came to me. You were with me all along.Every small footstep, each long and winding road, every mountain I struggled to climb, was synchronized with each path you were taking.

Though at the time my mind was not alert and I did not pay attention, as I was concentrating on surviving each day—I can see now that nothing was ever in vain.I will never forget the first words you spoke to me and how your voice resonated deeply inside my chest.. I thought my heart would break through to get to you, but we’d only just met—have patience, sweet organ, I know you’ve been waiting a life time, but, please, beat slowly and keep me calm.

I knew in an instant that I loved you.I didn’t know whether you drank tea with no sugar, whether you liked honey on your toast or whether you talked sometimes in your sleep.Neither did I know if this connection would last a moment nor a lifetime, but I did not care, I submerged in how it felt to be in your company, familiar, yet with so much to learn and unravel.

My imagination is wild, but I never dared to believe in someone such as you.Our electricity connected and you turned me on. I saw myself for the first time when I looked into your eyes. And you saw us. You had strengths where I had weaknesses and your weaknesses built up my assets. You knew me better than I knew myself. You never faltered, you had faith allowed me beyond your surface. You cracked your heart wide open and you allowed me to freely step in.

We are one and the same, although, so entirely different.When our fingers met we made our first love right there, without a care for the world, that continued around us.You touched me in places I never knew existed, I surrendered to your love and I allowed myself to fall.I gave you everything and you gave me myself in return.

You held out a mirror and I was no longer afraid to look, I could not see me without knowing you first.Our fragmented pieces smoothly slid firm into place.You fearlessly drove and you never once doubted our love. You ran through each bone in my body and then printed your name on my heart. My veins pulsed wildly when you tenderly showed me your love. You gave me it all. And I loved you more. I had no choice. There is no reason nor no explanation for love. You were always the one and I have always loved you. I waited and you waited and we finally arrived together.

DATING: USING THE GEORGE CLOONEY RULE

I'm handsome, intelligent,kind and friendly, nice  I don't need an app or anything, for that matter, to help me find a girlfriend. Never, I said to myself, would I need to put myself behind a virtual shopping window, sell my virtues like a desperate encyclopaedia salesman and hope that strangers would be persuaded enough to click "like".

Eventually, though, I came around.You see, when you work 12-hour days and also have to work on the weekends, the ability to date or meet new people is seriously compromised. On days when I can leave work early, I like nothing more than to read a book and unwind over a glass of whisky or watch a good movie in bed. Nothing about those activities brings me remotely close to another human being.  but I am not going to just meet anyone.

Finding someone you like is always a minefield, and there’s a reason kissing frogs before meeting your prince/princess is a well-worn cliche.

Let’s be honest, there isn’t really a ‘one’ out there. There are so many people in the world that statistically there can’t just be one person that is meant to be with another.  The idea that there is just one person for every person is actually a very depressing thought. It would be like trying to find a needle in a planet-sized haystack!

In reality, finding a person we might describe as ‘the one‘ means finding someone who has qualities and attributes that we are attracted to – and that someone also has to be at a stage in their life where they are ready to commit. It’s hard ticking all these boxes, so imagining that there would be only one person in the world that could fit that role would mean that very few people would be together.

So how do I know who to spend my time with actually take a leap of faith and open my heart to? How do you separate the shopper from the buyer? I use the George Clooney rule.

Imagine that instead of me, George Clooney had asked this same woman out. Would she use the same excuse with him? If George Clooney asked her on a date, would she still say she had to go to the movies with friends that night? Nope. She would have dropped pretty much anything and everything to be able to accept a date with George.

Now I know that I am not George Clooney obviously. But if a woman is interested in me, she will drop her other plans to be available to go out with me

Of course there are exceptions; the woman may have a legitimate reason she cannot make the date. Perhaps she has to work or go to a funeral. But if this is the case—and here is the real clincher—she will then suggest a different time for the date. She will say something along the lines of, “I can’t do it Saturday night; do you want to hang out next weekend instead?”

That is the person i will open my heart to and my soul. I want someone who want to be with me....not with just words...but with actions.

LOVE LETTER: DEAR BABY

Dear Baby,

I had a dream last night, and what a lovely dream it was. It left me feeling happy in a

metaphorical land of 'us'. It left me filled with moments to be cherished of hearts

were merging into one This has always been my dream for the two of us.....soaring through 

the sky. Those moments where I was staring down on you are  now etched into my soul.And as I awake, 

jubilant and blissfully contented securely wrapped in the pure essence of your beauty. 

Images of your smile and the sunshine it brings Joyously float through my heart as the majesty of your soul warms my heart

For all that I have to give is for the love of you. My one and only true love. You have 

my heart and I have yours.

POETRY: MY HUNGRY FOR YOU

Shred through her defense, take control, 
Tear at her flesh, tug at her soul, 
Tell her to take off her clothes, pull her in, 
Committing sin, 
Grip her hair, pull it to the side, 
Teeth into her neck, nothing denied, 
Explore her curves, feel her skin, 
Touch her deep, feeling within, 
Grasp her tight, fingers thrashing, 
Scratch up her spine, nails lashing, 
Kiss her lips, look into her eyes, 
Tongue against hers, quivering thighs, 
Spin her around, bend her down, 
Lick her softly, moving to the ground, 
Tongue twirling, her legs quaking, 
Stand to take her, penetration breaking, 
Sliding in deep, the feeling tight, 
Thrusting hard, frictions ignite, 
Consume her desire, passion afire, 
Take her to her knees, grip her hair, 
Pull it tight, don`t be fair, 
Taking your time, having all night, 
Slipping in and out, feeling so right 
Flip her over, bodies grinding, 
Sense it coming, positions binding, 
Her legs wrapped, feel her quiver, 
Release all you have, all within her, 
Body becomes heavy, collapse to the floor, 
My demons satisfied, there is no more.

POETRY: OH, THE CHANGES YOU'VE CAUSED

If the words I speak could make you laugh,
I'd talk forever.
If my embrace could make you feel secured,
I'd embrace you forever.
If understanding you could make us closer,
I'd listen to you forever.
If holding your hand could make you tingly inside,
I'd hold your hand forever.
If your eyes are the windows to your soul,
I'd stare into them forever.
If a simple kiss could make you glow,
I'd kiss you forever.
If the compliments I whisper in your ear makes you feel beautiful,
I'd whisper those words to you forever.
If the way I touch you makes u feel wanted,
I'd caress you forever.
If talking to you, and embracing you,
And listening to you, and holding you,
And staring into your eyes, and kissing you,
And whispering compliments to you, and caressing you
Could make you feel my love, 
I'd willingly do all those things forever.
And if someone asks me how much I love you,
I'd say, "So much, it would last forever."

PART 2

Oh, the changes you've caused
My entire life is different
All I want is to care for you
To worry about you
Feel bad when you are sick
Hurt when you are pained
Cry when you are sad
Laugh when you are happy
Just to take care of you
Make sure you are all right

Before I knew you
I looked out for myself
No one else was more important
Now you are here
You are the most sacred thing
Nothing is above your needs
Anything you want
I will do for you






Part 3




In my mind, the world revolves around your beauty
your laughter
In my eyes, you are the forever and ever
the fairy tale
In my heart, you live the life eternal
I'll never forget
In my dreams, you dance and sing






part 4


When I look at you, I can't describe what I see.
When you kiss me, I can't describe the great feelings you send through me.
When we hug, I can't describe the warmth of your embrace.
When I see you in the morning, you put a smile on my face.

You brought joy to my life by being so nice.
You brought trust to my heart by showing me a new start.
You brought my dreams to reality with yor sweet sexuality.
And, forever you'll have a special place in my heart.




PART 5



Yearning
   for your love
   in my heart
   on a
   bright
   sunny day...

In a quiet
   wilderness
   in the solitude
   of my
   mind...

At the bank
   of the
   blue ocean
   that never
   runs dry...

In an island
   of love
   filled with
   ecstasy and
   lasting pleasure...

In the space,
   Venus,
   soporific enough
   for my
   sweet surrender...

In the forest
   with sounds of
   leaves and 
   tree branches
   clapping
   their hands...

In the presence
   of angels and
   heavenly hosts
   being our
   witnesses...

Also
   in my wildest dreams
   and imaginations
   yearning for your
   eternal presence.

JOURNAL: ROUGH COUPLE OF WEEKS

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Father day came and went, and I miss my dad so much. Just the other day, I found some of his old medicines in the draw. I still can't take a look at his picture still. I see him every weekend  and talk to him.

My ear got better, Thank you God and ...thank you Dad.

I am getting wood install in the house next week. And getting my A/C fixed as well....I hope. This month is so expensive....but I don't care. One thing I learned about being ill, you don't sweat the small stuff anymore.

My mom house is on the market.We had a couple of bids.

Oh, and getting dental work done again.

I am just tired...always doing something. I miss the good old days, when my Dad was alive, when I actually had time to rest.

POETRY: I USED TO SAY THAT SOME GUYS HAVE ALL THE LUCK

You want to know why
Why I love you so
Why there is only you
Why my love grows and grows
It's hard to feel the way I do
It's the way you look at me
Like I'm the only one around
It's the way your voice sounds
It's your touch 
Your skin against mine
I need you too much
It's your eyes
The way they sparkle with shine
The way they stare into mine
It's the way you kiss me
Your soft lips against mine
I could kiss you all day
It would be great
If only I could have it my way
It's the way you are so near
But yet, so far
It's the way you make me feel safe
Like nothing will go wrong

PART 2

You rekindle my lost soul
You reactivate my diminishing hope
You revive my broken heart
You create durable scenes of love

My history is the story of your love
The episode of true love we share
My destiny will forever be yours
I've for ages chosen you my own

My light and shining armor 
You're the one who guides me through darkness
Every step I take day and night
Love footprints...traced to your heart

I love you more than life itself
I need you more than the breath I take
I want you more than everything I like
I cherish you more than every reason I find

PART 3

I used to say that some guys have all the luck.
But that wasn't true; they don't have much. 
I'm the one who has all the luck.
Because I'm the one who is feeling your tender touch.
And I will always say the things that makes you blush.
Because you love to hear those things so much.
I don't think you can ever get enough.
And I want you to know that I love you very much.

Honey I really believe that I'm blessed; 
to get the best woman of all the rest. 
And to the world I confess; the love we have for each other,
is more than a success.