When I was married, my wife had a habit of making promises and not keeping them. That was a big issue with our marriage. I could never trust her. To me, keeping your promise and saying you are doing something and doing it is the foundation of any relationship. I am just tired of being let down.
I wouldn’t feel good about myself if I didn’t keep my word. My word means something to me — I do not take it lightly.
I do not trust people who don’t keep their word. If someone lets me down a number of times, then I know they are not reliable. I find that this limits my desire to spend time with them, which is sometimes sad, but I have learned to accept that I cannot trust them to follow through on what they say they are going to do.
I lose respect for people whose word doesn’t mean anything to them. I end up feeling manipulated when someone says they are going to do something and then doesn’t do it. Of course, I give them leeway at the beginning. There may be a good reason they didn’t do what they said they were going to do. But if it happens over and over, I accept that I can’t rely on them and my respect for them goes down.
People make promises for all sorts of reasons. They say they will do things and then fail to follow through and when others consistently let you down, it becomes difficult to trust. The reason for this lack of integrity is often a lack of discipline. Their intentions may be good but then they get distracted, forget, or find a reason (excuse) not to follow through. Then there are those who promise things without any intention of following through. There is no such thing as different degrees of promise. Either you do or you don't. This counts for the little things too.
When your schedule is too full to keep the promise and there isn’t any way you could keep it, it’s better not to promise anything than disappoint your partner.
When you promise something, the other person must assume it's a done deal. Your word should be like currency. It's money in the bank for someone who is counting on it. That being said, you shouldn't dole it out over everything and anything, or it will lose its value. Because your word is like currency, you must give it only when the occasion is important enough to call for it. The person you are promising something to must be able to recognize that your promise has value. You don't give money out to every Tony, Dick or Harry do you? Why do the same with your word?
Some folks apply a rating scale, believing that breaking a big promise is inexcusable, while a small one is acceptable. That’s simply false, trust is built through a series of experiences shared with others. When behavior is consistent, faith in the relationship develops. When promises are broken or people are misled, the bonds of trust are breached. Broken promises imply that the offenders either didn’t think before making the promises, or don’t care that they’ve let you down. They’re also implying that their needs are more important than yours
Every time you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can place their trust in you because you value integrity and would never let them down.
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