My horoscope this week suggested that I need to look for love outside of my regular “type” if I want to find romantic happiness... and I do want to find romantic happiness, so here I am.See, as I got older.... I can’t help thinking about finding someone to settle down with, maybe start a family with, at least someone to buy a house with, and plan vacations with. My type is so specific that the chances of finding someone who match them AND also wants to spend the rest of their life with me seem about as slim as twinks themselves.
A good friend of mine, keeps telling me that he can find beauty in every girl he bangs. All he has to do is focus on the one beautiful aspect of a girl, inward or out, and he’ll bang the heck out of her till dawn. Is this the kind of thing that I’m supposed to learn? I’ve been taught all my life that beauty comes from within, so is it possible to fuck someone’s inner beauty like friend told me:
If I’m not sexually attracted to someone I’m sleeping with, I'll be so un-into-it that I'll just roll over after I am done and maybe just ask them to leave. I know. I'm a terrible person, I'm not some GQ model that has the pick of the litter either, so why is my type so specific?
But there it is, the awful truth about my vein sex life. The question I ponder though is…. Can it be fixed? Can I force myself to be sexually attracted to a different type, and therefore find love and eternal happiness? Or will I fool myself into such happiness only to wake up after a year to find that I am miserable and sexually unsatisfied leading to a life of cheating and open relationships?
All i want is to love and be loved.Am I asking too much?Lots of people here always say they like and love you?The problem is its easy to say but hard to do.Do some moves and prove it. We all knew that actions speak louder than voice...
Monday, December 8, 2014
Friday, December 5, 2014
ARTICLE: Chris Rock: 'If Poor People Knew How Rich Rich People Are, There Would Be Riots' By Emily Cohn
"If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets," Chris Rock said in a recent interview with New York magazine.
The multi-millionaire comedian pointed out that poor people would be particularly shocked if they knew all the perks rich people get for being rich.
"If the average person could see the Virgin Airlines first-class lounge, they’d go, 'What? What? This is food, and it’s free, and they… what? Massage? Are you kidding me?'" he said.
If you have never flown Virgin Airlines first class (or first class at all, for that matter), these lounges of which Rock speaks are where "Upper Class passengers" can kick back with some "amazing food, fantastic facilities and a chilled out atmosphere," according to the Virgin website. At London Heathrow Airport, the Virgin lounge has a spa and showers.
Virgin Atlantic didn't respond to The Huffington Post's requests for comment.
Lavish air travel is just the start. Rich people often get paid to wear jewelry. They getpaid to lose weight.
They're given free laptops and TVs. They also get paid thousands of dollars to justshow up at clubs.
They get gift bags just for attending big award shows, bags filled with goodies worth $20,000 -- which is more than a full-time minimum wage worker earns in a year. Their kids' birthday parties have corporate sponsors.
The divide between the haves and the have-nots is nothing new in America, but in recent decades that gap has been getting wider as the middle class shrinks and the very richest Americans keep getting richer. Meanwhile, economists are warning that the world is heading toward Gilded-Age levels of inequality unless we do something to stop it. It's already worse than most of us realize.
The multi-millionaire comedian pointed out that poor people would be particularly shocked if they knew all the perks rich people get for being rich.
"If the average person could see the Virgin Airlines first-class lounge, they’d go, 'What? What? This is food, and it’s free, and they… what? Massage? Are you kidding me?'" he said.
If you have never flown Virgin Airlines first class (or first class at all, for that matter), these lounges of which Rock speaks are where "Upper Class passengers" can kick back with some "amazing food, fantastic facilities and a chilled out atmosphere," according to the Virgin website. At London Heathrow Airport, the Virgin lounge has a spa and showers.
Virgin Atlantic didn't respond to The Huffington Post's requests for comment.
Lavish air travel is just the start. Rich people often get paid to wear jewelry. They getpaid to lose weight.
They're given free laptops and TVs. They also get paid thousands of dollars to justshow up at clubs.
They get gift bags just for attending big award shows, bags filled with goodies worth $20,000 -- which is more than a full-time minimum wage worker earns in a year. Their kids' birthday parties have corporate sponsors.
The divide between the haves and the have-nots is nothing new in America, but in recent decades that gap has been getting wider as the middle class shrinks and the very richest Americans keep getting richer. Meanwhile, economists are warning that the world is heading toward Gilded-Age levels of inequality unless we do something to stop it. It's already worse than most of us realize.
ARTICLE: Islam Is Not The Problem by Daniel Raphael
I was appalled by Bill Mahers and Sam Harris' coverage of Islam and terrorism several weeks ago. I am appalled as someone who is not a Muslim, rather someone who is an atheist and does not believe in a higher power. I am not a religious scholar by any means, and never make claims to such, yet this Islamophobia that is professed is dangerous and leads to disenfranchisement toward so many in the Muslim community. Muslims are no different than anyone else, they have the same goals and aspirations as anyone else.
Islam is not the problem, and has never been the problem. We must ask ourselves, what is religion? Many would say it that it is the belief in superhuman entities that have control over the world, though there are religions that do not believe in these entities such as Secular Buddhism or Jainism. I tend to view religion as a particular system of faith and worship, for religion is about interpretation. I do not believe in religion, yet there are certain messages from religious texts that I believe can be utilized for positive results.
American Muslims have been subject to immense discrimination since 9/11. According to a study of nearly fifty hundred Muslim students in California around half of these teenagers from age 12-18 have been verbally or physically harassed by their peers.Rhetoric like Maher's only enforces this bullying, as it perpetuates the stereotype of Muslims as the other, Muslims who just want to live life and flourish as anyone else. I recall seeing the protests against the proposed "Ground Zero Mosque", a community center that is unlikely to spread any type of extremism. By depriving people of their religious freedom we create extremism due to discrimination and radicalism due to disenfranchisement.
Maher is simply wrong when it comes to his perceptions of a variety of his points. He points to the fact that extremism is a widespread problem with Islam, which is far from the case. If there are 1.5 billion Muslims why are there so few terrorists? It simply is not true. There are concerns of extremism due to the relative instability in several Muslim majority countries such as Syria or Somalia, yet this is not because they are Muslims. People turn to terrorism due to living situations, and believe in a radical due to desperation. This is a problem, and this is something the international community needs to address, yet this is not the majority of the Muslim community by any stretch of the imagination.
He points to several countries where women's rights are abused, most notably Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia has arguably the worst discrimination against women compared to anywhere in the world. In Saudi Arabia it is true that women cannot drive, yet this is one country. There are 47 Muslim majority countries, and only one has this level of discrimination That does not mean that Saudi Arabia should not change its policy, rather we must look at the broader picture. Womens rights are abused in a variety of countries, some Christian like The Central African Republic, The Democratic Republic of Congo, some Muslim like Saudi Arabia and Yemen. Again, this does not mean that this is not a problem that these nations do not need to combat, yet it not simply due to Islam, it is often due to underdevelopment and poverty.
What we need to remember as we look toward groups like ISIS is the rationale for so many joining. It is irrational in my own view of course, though if someone believes there is no other options for them, they very well say it as rational. That is very problematic yet that is not due to Islam, it is due to the living conditions. Instead of viewing Islam as 'evil' we should analyze the circumstances to hope to diminish future extremism.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
PERSONAL: EVERYONE. SOMEWHERE, IS SOMEONE, IF ONLY WE GIVE THEM A CHANCE
I’m attractive, educated, active, employed, who doesn’t have time to go all over the place looking for “the one”, so I thought I would try it online. What I don’t get is that most women’s profiles tell you all of the qualities she is looking for in a man and how important they are to her. But none of these qualities are ever the “eliminating ones”. Online dating doesn’t work because women don’t use the internet to actually meet and date men. Most women only use it to reinforce in themselves the notion that their prolonged single-status is NOT their fault, but instead because of the fact that there are simply “no good men to date.”
Women are saying all over the place, that: I’m really looking for a nice guy, but they are so difficult to find these days. Come on, there is a epidemic of nice guys; what the hell are they talking about? Please don't bullshit me.
Here’s how it plays out: a women sets up an online dating profile. She immediately gets 200 messages. She ignores all those messages because there are just too many to handle and starts her own “search.” What she searches for are the tallest and hottest guys she can find, whom she messages right away. After not hearing back from those few guys (or getting replies and realizing they’re complete morons/jerks/losers) she gives up altogether, claiming “there were no good men to date online.” Everyone(men too) thinks they deserve the most attractive people on the site.
I sometimes don't get why HOT people are online. They are capable enough to meet someone for real in a club or something.People who hang out in bars and clubs have one thing in common … they like to drink. For many of us, it’s not an ideal place to meet someone.
When i found out about Internet dating. I thought it was going to be the answer to my dating prayers.Im considered good looking by some of my friends,so all i had to do, i thought was put my photo online sit back and wait for dozens of emails from sexy women to come rolling in.
OH OH !!
No Replies after sending out ten emails,then twenty emails then thirty emails!
What the hell is going on here?
I was thinking was it my photo? or did i came across as to rude(far from it)
I then starting looking for other mens Internet dating experiences and to my relief found this was normal for most men.
What i find amazing is some of the women in the 30s with the “waiting for the prince charming” sydrome.Im 38 and ive written to women in their mid-late 30s who you would think would be bitting your hand off to go on a date due to their options being less than they were in their 20s.
Not a bit of it i would get the “sorry your not my type” or you would see they have looked at your profile and dont even write back
Women are saying all over the place, that: I’m really looking for a nice guy, but they are so difficult to find these days. Come on, there is a epidemic of nice guys; what the hell are they talking about? Please don't bullshit me.
Here’s how it plays out: a women sets up an online dating profile. She immediately gets 200 messages. She ignores all those messages because there are just too many to handle and starts her own “search.” What she searches for are the tallest and hottest guys she can find, whom she messages right away. After not hearing back from those few guys (or getting replies and realizing they’re complete morons/jerks/losers) she gives up altogether, claiming “there were no good men to date online.” Everyone(men too) thinks they deserve the most attractive people on the site.
I sometimes don't get why HOT people are online. They are capable enough to meet someone for real in a club or something.People who hang out in bars and clubs have one thing in common … they like to drink. For many of us, it’s not an ideal place to meet someone.
When i found out about Internet dating. I thought it was going to be the answer to my dating prayers.Im considered good looking by some of my friends,so all i had to do, i thought was put my photo online sit back and wait for dozens of emails from sexy women to come rolling in.
OH OH !!
No Replies after sending out ten emails,then twenty emails then thirty emails!
What the hell is going on here?
I was thinking was it my photo? or did i came across as to rude(far from it)
I then starting looking for other mens Internet dating experiences and to my relief found this was normal for most men.
What i find amazing is some of the women in the 30s with the “waiting for the prince charming” sydrome.Im 38 and ive written to women in their mid-late 30s who you would think would be bitting your hand off to go on a date due to their options being less than they were in their 20s.
Not a bit of it i would get the “sorry your not my type” or you would see they have looked at your profile and dont even write back
You run into the chemistry thing all the time. In online dating I get a decent number of replies , though I only look for women I have common values and interests that are shared. They find me physically attractive enough , we exchange e-mails and then meet, talk and laugh have an good time. Then they e-mail me to say you are really awesome , but there was no instant chemistry, or worse just never call me back. I don’t get it. I think I wasted all the time I spent on becoming an intelligent , educated , decently employed , considerate person with a great sense of humor , and certainly all those hours in the gym and eating healthy were not that important when it comes to dating
I think people who are single and aren’t very young any more and who claim to not have the “chemistry” with great people who treat them right… I think people like that have some chemical imbalance in their brain or some kind of a psychological issue or a disorder. The people who can”t seem to get attached, don’t get excited with a relationship and wait for the “right one” are most likely the ones who have unrealistic expectations about chemistry embedded in their head that do not allow them to see beyond the surface of other people’s feelings. They seem to constantly search for “something better” and are not able to pin point what it “wrong” with the people (great all around people!) who love them and treat them right. They are so focused on finding the flaws in another person trying to figure out why THEY can’t feel “love”. Well guess what? Whatever “THAT feeling” is you are looking for so desperately in others it is something within YOU and no one will fulfill that. Again, I am referring mostly to those who are in their later years (late 30s and up) and still single coz they can’t find the right “chemistry” I would rather be with a womeone who’s a 7 on the chemistry scale but a 10 on the compatibility scale than to be with someone who’s a 10 on the chemistry scale and a 4 on the compatibility scale.
I’ve realized that effective advice always sounds so simple when you read it. You find yourself nodding your head and saying “yes, that makes complete sense…” And then you go about your business and don’t change a thing. As a result, you consistently find yourself stuck in the same place, not really moving forward.*Men* have the more realistic expectations of a first date–we get that first dates are awkward situations, and so we’re usually willing to see her again as long as she is reasonably attractive and we had a good time with her. It actually seems that many women have the bar set much higher–some sort of magic has to happen on the first or a second date is a no go. This chemistry for women does have only little to do with looks, but it is just as shallow in that it doesn’t really have anything more to do with how happy the woman would be with the guy in the long term–past the first few dates.
I do know from having relationships in my past, that personality and character can go a long way to making someone seem attractive. It’s the package, not just the picture. I’ve read profiles of women who became even more attractive after I took the time to read about them. If compatibility and personality were not a big factor in making a relationship work, then why some dating sites use them as the criteria for matching?
Chemistry is dangerous. When you’re under the influence of chemistry, you are under the influence of hormones that act like drugs. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, high highs, low lows, the feeling of obsessive longing…it’s all quite unhealthy. And what most of us have discovered is that because of the intensity of these feelings, you may completely end up ignoring your partner’s bad qualities. Chemistry allows us to sweep under the rug the fact that she’s a selfish or that she’s a crazy bitch…and later justify this behavior and fight to stay in broken relationships that make us unhappy.This is why I have long advocated putting compatibility up on the same pedestal as chemistry, and perhaps elevate it even higher.Simply put:A relationship with a 7 chemistry and a 10 compatibility is a happy marriage.A relationship with a 10 chemistry and a 3 compatibility is going to make you unhappy.
One of my best friend who is happy married told me this...you can have an amazing marriage to a woman even if you don’t obsess about her, miss her mournfully while she’s gone for a few hours, or be positive she’s your soulmate. 4 years and 2 kids later, His love for his wife is so much deeper and meaningful. It's now that he has trouble surviving a few days without her. He would be 100% lost if she were to leave. THIS is love. That passion most couples feel for the first 18 months? It’s closer to obsession, hope and fantasy. Reality is when the passion fades and you start building a life together.If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you damn well need to enjoy their company day after day. They don’t need to be good looking, but you need to feel happy with their face, and their touch. They should add to your life. If you can’t find that, it’s better to be single
Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they’re from. You know that sometime in the future, this person is going to mean something to you, They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities, and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real.I love the closeness. I like when someone purposely grabs my hand to feel closer. I like that when something exciting happens during the day, I’m the first person you want to tell. I like coming back to an “I miss you” text message. I like that random call at one in the morning just because you wanted to hear my voice. I like little gestures that show I’m important, and you enjoy having me in your life.
I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in gestures
There are only so many of us born at a time and we are thrown into the world to find each other, to find the other ones who don't think you're strange, who understand your jokes, your smile, the way you talk.There are only so many of us born at a time and we only have so long to find each other before we die.But we have to try
And everyone, somewhere, is someone, if only we give them a chance.
Would you rather spend 20 minutes on the phone discovering your date’s a loser? 20 days emailing back and forth Or spend 2 hours live to reach the same conclusion? The phone, obviously. It normally takes me even less than 20 minutes to realize someone is not interesting to me. That is why we should talk on the phone before anything else.
I think people who are single and aren’t very young any more and who claim to not have the “chemistry” with great people who treat them right… I think people like that have some chemical imbalance in their brain or some kind of a psychological issue or a disorder. The people who can”t seem to get attached, don’t get excited with a relationship and wait for the “right one” are most likely the ones who have unrealistic expectations about chemistry embedded in their head that do not allow them to see beyond the surface of other people’s feelings. They seem to constantly search for “something better” and are not able to pin point what it “wrong” with the people (great all around people!) who love them and treat them right. They are so focused on finding the flaws in another person trying to figure out why THEY can’t feel “love”. Well guess what? Whatever “THAT feeling” is you are looking for so desperately in others it is something within YOU and no one will fulfill that. Again, I am referring mostly to those who are in their later years (late 30s and up) and still single coz they can’t find the right “chemistry” I would rather be with a womeone who’s a 7 on the chemistry scale but a 10 on the compatibility scale than to be with someone who’s a 10 on the chemistry scale and a 4 on the compatibility scale.
I’ve realized that effective advice always sounds so simple when you read it. You find yourself nodding your head and saying “yes, that makes complete sense…” And then you go about your business and don’t change a thing. As a result, you consistently find yourself stuck in the same place, not really moving forward.*Men* have the more realistic expectations of a first date–we get that first dates are awkward situations, and so we’re usually willing to see her again as long as she is reasonably attractive and we had a good time with her. It actually seems that many women have the bar set much higher–some sort of magic has to happen on the first or a second date is a no go. This chemistry for women does have only little to do with looks, but it is just as shallow in that it doesn’t really have anything more to do with how happy the woman would be with the guy in the long term–past the first few dates.
I do know from having relationships in my past, that personality and character can go a long way to making someone seem attractive. It’s the package, not just the picture. I’ve read profiles of women who became even more attractive after I took the time to read about them. If compatibility and personality were not a big factor in making a relationship work, then why some dating sites use them as the criteria for matching?
Chemistry is dangerous. When you’re under the influence of chemistry, you are under the influence of hormones that act like drugs. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, high highs, low lows, the feeling of obsessive longing…it’s all quite unhealthy. And what most of us have discovered is that because of the intensity of these feelings, you may completely end up ignoring your partner’s bad qualities. Chemistry allows us to sweep under the rug the fact that she’s a selfish or that she’s a crazy bitch…and later justify this behavior and fight to stay in broken relationships that make us unhappy.This is why I have long advocated putting compatibility up on the same pedestal as chemistry, and perhaps elevate it even higher.Simply put:A relationship with a 7 chemistry and a 10 compatibility is a happy marriage.A relationship with a 10 chemistry and a 3 compatibility is going to make you unhappy.
One of my best friend who is happy married told me this...you can have an amazing marriage to a woman even if you don’t obsess about her, miss her mournfully while she’s gone for a few hours, or be positive she’s your soulmate. 4 years and 2 kids later, His love for his wife is so much deeper and meaningful. It's now that he has trouble surviving a few days without her. He would be 100% lost if she were to leave. THIS is love. That passion most couples feel for the first 18 months? It’s closer to obsession, hope and fantasy. Reality is when the passion fades and you start building a life together.If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you damn well need to enjoy their company day after day. They don’t need to be good looking, but you need to feel happy with their face, and their touch. They should add to your life. If you can’t find that, it’s better to be single
Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they’re from. You know that sometime in the future, this person is going to mean something to you, They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities, and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real.I love the closeness. I like when someone purposely grabs my hand to feel closer. I like that when something exciting happens during the day, I’m the first person you want to tell. I like coming back to an “I miss you” text message. I like that random call at one in the morning just because you wanted to hear my voice. I like little gestures that show I’m important, and you enjoy having me in your life.
I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in gestures
There are only so many of us born at a time and we are thrown into the world to find each other, to find the other ones who don't think you're strange, who understand your jokes, your smile, the way you talk.There are only so many of us born at a time and we only have so long to find each other before we die.But we have to try
And everyone, somewhere, is someone, if only we give them a chance.
Would you rather spend 20 minutes on the phone discovering your date’s a loser? 20 days emailing back and forth Or spend 2 hours live to reach the same conclusion? The phone, obviously. It normally takes me even less than 20 minutes to realize someone is not interesting to me. That is why we should talk on the phone before anything else.
Friday, November 14, 2014
POETRY: MY HEART CANNOT BE RETRIEVED
We search within
for the day of forever,
tying memory after memory
in a never-ending pattern
which flows forwards and back,
and yet,
we never see towards
the periphery,
we stand blinded in the fury
and anticipation of discovery
of the things we hide
and questions we want to ask,
like,
why...
do you burn through my mind,
forever falling
in endless choices,
traveling on the wheel of time
which breaks in every day,
in every hour
that slips through our fingers
too easily
though we grip tightly, like steel,
until we bend too far the other way
and all is gone,
as if it never was,
just one more morning to wake to,
and one more night to struggle with.
There are those who face loss
with fierceness of determination
to overcome and forget,
then there are those
who fall beneath the weight
and pretend
life has some ultimate meaning.
And there are the rest of us
who believe
in the day of forever,
and we wait
and we hold on
...forever.
2
If you must give me your heart,
Let it not be for this and that, or
What you think my love would bring.
Love should be free and fair
A priceless gift from your heart,
For love is spirit and lives in the heart...
Without motive or countless conditions.
For these stipulations of love, my dear, are
Never permanent but temporary indeed
Love is eternal and lives after death
That?s what makes love unique.
Love?s motive is to share and serve,
To build a heart destroyed by fire
Sympathetic but not based on sympathy
Is true love that flows from the heart.
A conditional love is a physical one
Built on material things, fame and fortune
It?s spiritual content is lost to the wind
What?s left...a sounding brass, a tinkling cymbal
3
I'm in control...
I tell myself.
My heart will not be thieved.
You came along,
now it's gone...
and cannot be retrieved.
4
If only for an instant
I could see your beautiful face
It would fill my empty spirit
With wondrous life and grace
As I watch, and you unknowing
I love you from afar
I can see your face is glowing
Underneath the brightest star
In a great majestic palace
Of 'forever' do I wait
And not once feeling callous
To the outcome of my fate
Forever will I want you
And forever you will you be
A memory of something true
That wasn?t meant for me
I?ll see you standing there
And want you standing here
But always loving from afar
And never very near
5
she grabs his hand and holds on tight
the thought of letting go
never crosses her mind
they slowly walk, hand in hand
to a very distant and secret land
she opens her soul
and pours out her heart
she tells him her every hope, dream,
thought and prayer
she tells of the love she treasures
and so dearly holds for him,
and only him,
how she could get lost
in his beautiful big, blue eyes
if he'd only let her
and how every now and then,
and every moment in between,
the thought of him lingers in her mind
how his smile can light up a room
without him even knowing it
she shares the dreams that come every night
dreams of him and her
and how they feel so right
she tells him the prayer she's prayed every night
(since the beginning of time) to God up above
simply asking for him, the one who holds her heart
in the palm of his hands, to return her love
she turns to walk away, her work there is done
but he doesn?t let her go
instead he looks deep into her eyes,
opens his mouth to speak, but not a sound
comes from his perfect lips
he smiles his wonderful smile
and begins to tell her how every time she's near
he trembles with excitement and fear
how his heart races almost out of control
he says he dreams the same dream
even says the same prayer to the Lord up above
that she would share his love
with tears in her eyes, she cracks a smile
he pulls her near and softly whispers in her ear
whatever it was, he said the right thing
because today they're celebrating 50 years
of nothing less than
an endless love
6
When I wake in the morning
I long to see you face
When I hear the phone ring
I can only hope to hear your voice
As I walk the short path to your house
I strain to see the car that proves your presence
You open the door to show your smiling face
And I can't keep myself from melting
When you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
I feel as though you're looking right into my soul
When you entwine your hand in mine
It's as though you've connected our hearts
You look at me as though you know my thoughts
And when you speak, it's almost as though you do
As I look at the stars each night
All I think of is you
for the day of forever,
tying memory after memory
in a never-ending pattern
which flows forwards and back,
and yet,
we never see towards
the periphery,
we stand blinded in the fury
and anticipation of discovery
of the things we hide
and questions we want to ask,
like,
why...
do you burn through my mind,
forever falling
in endless choices,
traveling on the wheel of time
which breaks in every day,
in every hour
that slips through our fingers
too easily
though we grip tightly, like steel,
until we bend too far the other way
and all is gone,
as if it never was,
just one more morning to wake to,
and one more night to struggle with.
There are those who face loss
with fierceness of determination
to overcome and forget,
then there are those
who fall beneath the weight
and pretend
life has some ultimate meaning.
And there are the rest of us
who believe
in the day of forever,
and we wait
and we hold on
...forever.
2
If you must give me your heart,
Let it not be for this and that, or
What you think my love would bring.
Love should be free and fair
A priceless gift from your heart,
For love is spirit and lives in the heart...
Without motive or countless conditions.
For these stipulations of love, my dear, are
Never permanent but temporary indeed
Love is eternal and lives after death
That?s what makes love unique.
Love?s motive is to share and serve,
To build a heart destroyed by fire
Sympathetic but not based on sympathy
Is true love that flows from the heart.
A conditional love is a physical one
Built on material things, fame and fortune
It?s spiritual content is lost to the wind
What?s left...a sounding brass, a tinkling cymbal
3
I'm in control...
I tell myself.
My heart will not be thieved.
You came along,
now it's gone...
and cannot be retrieved.
4
If only for an instant
I could see your beautiful face
It would fill my empty spirit
With wondrous life and grace
As I watch, and you unknowing
I love you from afar
I can see your face is glowing
Underneath the brightest star
In a great majestic palace
Of 'forever' do I wait
And not once feeling callous
To the outcome of my fate
Forever will I want you
And forever you will you be
A memory of something true
That wasn?t meant for me
I?ll see you standing there
And want you standing here
But always loving from afar
And never very near
5
she grabs his hand and holds on tight
the thought of letting go
never crosses her mind
they slowly walk, hand in hand
to a very distant and secret land
she opens her soul
and pours out her heart
she tells him her every hope, dream,
thought and prayer
she tells of the love she treasures
and so dearly holds for him,
and only him,
how she could get lost
in his beautiful big, blue eyes
if he'd only let her
and how every now and then,
and every moment in between,
the thought of him lingers in her mind
how his smile can light up a room
without him even knowing it
she shares the dreams that come every night
dreams of him and her
and how they feel so right
she tells him the prayer she's prayed every night
(since the beginning of time) to God up above
simply asking for him, the one who holds her heart
in the palm of his hands, to return her love
she turns to walk away, her work there is done
but he doesn?t let her go
instead he looks deep into her eyes,
opens his mouth to speak, but not a sound
comes from his perfect lips
he smiles his wonderful smile
and begins to tell her how every time she's near
he trembles with excitement and fear
how his heart races almost out of control
he says he dreams the same dream
even says the same prayer to the Lord up above
that she would share his love
with tears in her eyes, she cracks a smile
he pulls her near and softly whispers in her ear
whatever it was, he said the right thing
because today they're celebrating 50 years
of nothing less than
an endless love
6
When I wake in the morning
I long to see you face
When I hear the phone ring
I can only hope to hear your voice
As I walk the short path to your house
I strain to see the car that proves your presence
You open the door to show your smiling face
And I can't keep myself from melting
When you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
I feel as though you're looking right into my soul
When you entwine your hand in mine
It's as though you've connected our hearts
You look at me as though you know my thoughts
And when you speak, it's almost as though you do
As I look at the stars each night
All I think of is you
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
POETRY: ENCOUNTER WITH YOU
I - me, my soul, my mind,
and my heart filled a great amount of . . .
LOVE - an emotion far greater than any other,
that is impossible to expalin,
and which I have a multitude for . . .
YOU - the person I care for, dream of, and adore.
2
An early morning encounter
with a beautiful woman such as yourself....
Hmmmmm.....
Treasure chest of memories....
Someday I wish to lay with a woman
such as yourself on a sandy beach
watching the sunset and listening
to your thoughts and memories...
Or, walk with you in a
field of wild flowers
hand in hand laughing joyfully
and watching the whispering
spring air run through your hair.
and my heart filled a great amount of . . .
LOVE - an emotion far greater than any other,
that is impossible to expalin,
and which I have a multitude for . . .
YOU - the person I care for, dream of, and adore.
2
An early morning encounter
with a beautiful woman such as yourself....
Hmmmmm.....
Treasure chest of memories....
Someday I wish to lay with a woman
such as yourself on a sandy beach
watching the sunset and listening
to your thoughts and memories...
Or, walk with you in a
field of wild flowers
hand in hand laughing joyfully
and watching the whispering
spring air run through your hair.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
ARTICLE:Millennial madness — kids without marriage By Ashley Maguire (NYPOST)
The other day, something came across my newsfeed about Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy style.
I’ll hand it to her; she’s a stylish pregnant lady. And we know this for certain now, because this is her third pregnancy with boyfriend Scott Disick.
But that’s just it. Boyfriend.
It’s head-scratching to me why a couple would have multiple children — all “planned” — but refuse to tie the knot. It seems to me, if you’re building a family together, why not make it official? Yet keeping it unofficial is becoming the new norm.
As Brad Wilcox put it in a piece for The Wall Street Journal about the parallel mysteries of falling teen pregnancy rates but soaring single-motherhood numbers for women in the next age bracket, “If 30 is the new 20, today’s unmarried 20-somethings are the new teen moms.”
Naomi Riley had an excellent piece on this phenomenon last month in The Post, “Generation Screwed.”
Millennials, my generation, have been given this nickname because we are getting slammed with record high tuition rates, a terrible job market, out-of-control entitlements, and so on. She writes:
“So you’d think that if research shows there is something that could be a surefire way of improving their economic lot, they would grab hold of it like a life preserver. Well, you’d be wrong.
“In fact, research has shown marriage to be responsible for the significant creation of wealth — yet millennials don’t seem interested. The average age of a first marriage for men is 29 and for women it’s 27.
“Many are simply not marrying at all. Almost half of children born to women under 30 are out-of-wedlock births now, according to a recent study by Child Trends, a Washington-based research group.”
It is mystifying.
While it’s easy enough to see how a generation thoroughly steeped in relativism might shrug off the moral arguments for marriage, it’s plain bizarre the way millennials seem to be outright rejecting the evidence that marriage favors them and their progeny economically.
Riley gives a litany of data that shows the way couples who marry start to quickly pass their unmarried peers when it comes to financial stability.
This data only compliments all the data that paints a crystal with a capital “C” clear picture of how important marriage is in determining the outcomes of children.
My favorite stat? Marriage drops a child’s odds of falling into poverty by 82 percent. Wind and repeat.
Eighty-two percent. Yet a recent Pew report suggests that a likely one in four millennials will never marry and that millennials are incredibly likely to say, “marriage is becoming obsolete” and rank “being a good parent” as a higher priority than “having a successful marriage.”
But what millennials just don’t seem to grasp is that being a good parent is having a successful marriage. It is absolutely the most important and determinant factor for children: whether or not their parents are married.
But, according to Pew, “Millennials are less likely than adults ages 30 and older to say that a child needs a home with both a father and mother to grow up happily and that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.”
Kourtney and Scott don’t need to worry about money, and most likely their kids won’t either.
But we ordinary millennials can’t afford to follow in their tracks. We owe our generation and our children a future. As Riley put it, “Looks like the Screwed Generation is raising the really screwed one.”
We may feel powerless against mounting national woes like ballooning student debt. But we are fools to leave our most powerful weapon, a social bazooka, if you will, just lying there in the dust. Marriage is ours to reclaim. What’s stopping us?
If it’s fear that things won’t work out, we can take courage in knowing we have an unprecedented amount of knowledge about what makes marriage work and what makes marriage fail.
We can marry smart. Divorce rates are falling. We don’t have to make the mistakes our parents’ generation made.
The only mistake we risk making is to write off marriage, or rather to devalue its power in bettering our lives emotionally and financially and to try in vain to untie it from the children we say we want to have.
Friday, November 7, 2014
PERSONAL: THE NIGHT BRINGS LONELINESS
The night brings loneliness to so many people everywhere, the hope of finding someone to be there with them through the lonely nights is in all of their prayers. They go through the day with the hope of finding someone to be there for them but, as night approches and the light goes dim, The loneliness of the night is upon them once again, and once more they look forward to tomorrow with the hope of adding true love to their plans.
The night is so lonely when you have to go to bed alone, as you pull your pillow close to you, the loneliness grows so strong. for, you long for the arms of someone to hold you tight but, at this moment, the hope of having this happen, is nowhere in sight. You wonder to yourself, will
this special person ever come along, to be there for you after a hard day on the job, to greet you with
"honey, I love you" when you get home.
As you lay there and look out of your window into the night sky, at the stars which shine so bright,
you find yourself praying to God with all of your might. That he will bless you with someone that will love you and always be there, and in your mind you will know that God still answers prayers.
And one day that special someone will come along, and after so many lonely nights all by yourself, you will realize that you made it through one of life's toughest storms..... loneliness. You close your eyes and you see the love of your life standing there with a smile, you look and see her again and the tears start to flow, for this is the moment you have waited for,
You realize that this is the moment that you have longed for, as you get closer and look at her, with tears flowing down your face, all your hopes and dreams are now so close, and not as far. From this moment on, you will never be alone, Arm in arm you both will go, so much in love as you head for the door, never to be alone anymore.
But, as you lay there in your bed, you open your eyes and realize it was only a dream and the
loneliness of the night goes on for, you are still all alone in your home. But the dream has given you
new hope to another day, that someone special will come your way.
So, once again you close your eyes in restfull sleep for, this night as with all the ones before, was only a repeat, of how the night brings loneliness
The night is so lonely when you have to go to bed alone, as you pull your pillow close to you, the loneliness grows so strong. for, you long for the arms of someone to hold you tight but, at this moment, the hope of having this happen, is nowhere in sight. You wonder to yourself, will
this special person ever come along, to be there for you after a hard day on the job, to greet you with
"honey, I love you" when you get home.
As you lay there and look out of your window into the night sky, at the stars which shine so bright,
you find yourself praying to God with all of your might. That he will bless you with someone that will love you and always be there, and in your mind you will know that God still answers prayers.
And one day that special someone will come along, and after so many lonely nights all by yourself, you will realize that you made it through one of life's toughest storms..... loneliness. You close your eyes and you see the love of your life standing there with a smile, you look and see her again and the tears start to flow, for this is the moment you have waited for,
You realize that this is the moment that you have longed for, as you get closer and look at her, with tears flowing down your face, all your hopes and dreams are now so close, and not as far. From this moment on, you will never be alone, Arm in arm you both will go, so much in love as you head for the door, never to be alone anymore.
But, as you lay there in your bed, you open your eyes and realize it was only a dream and the
loneliness of the night goes on for, you are still all alone in your home. But the dream has given you
new hope to another day, that someone special will come your way.
So, once again you close your eyes in restfull sleep for, this night as with all the ones before, was only a repeat, of how the night brings loneliness
SEX: HOTTEST SEX SCENE IN MOVIES
I want to start with the remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice with Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange has a very sexy scene about a half hour in when they do it on a kitchen table. It starts out almost as a rape but then she stops fighting him and goes crazy. He pushes her up against a wall and puts his head between her legs.Then there is a scene that drives me wild. He is pushing his hand up toward her crotch and Jessica is wearing the appropriate 1930s garter belt, stockings and white panties. We get a beautiful closeup of this.As his hand approaches her crotch, she is so hot she can't wait for him to touch her through her panties so she puts her own hand there and gives herself a squeeze. Then he puts his hand on top of hers and guides it, then she moves her hand onto the top of his, and together they caress her a few times.So very briefly, we get to see Jessica Lange masturbating. It doesn't get any better than that. I was a teenager in the movie theatre then. O how I loved seeing Jessica Langes beautiful breast touched through the dress bei Jack Nicholsons hand, to watch her legs, the stockings, the panties, softly bulging over her beautiful thing. I fantasized her blonde pubic hair. I was totally stiff and it was a great cinematic moment. Before that, when she swept the things from the desk, opened Jacks trousers. Mh! Ah! It was such an horny and explosive scene.
Another one is Risky Business when Rebecca first came into the house and asked Tom if he was ready for her? Ready? READY?! Are you kidding? The heat that came off the screen in the next few minutes was enough to melt the film projector wires. When he ran his hands up her body from behind...mmm...
I love the The Piano with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The whole movie is a lesson in understanding the object of your affection. He is intrigued by her, lusts after her, eventually falls in love with her, all the while ardently pressing his desire towards her. He comes to understand the key that unlocks her and is rewarded with her undying devotion. Incidentally, the key had less to do with sex than her sensual nature. Two scenes in this movie just about sent me over the edge.
1) Keitel's character is lying under the piano and he slowly lifts her skirt to just her knee. On the calf of her stocking, he finds a small hole into which he gently inserts one finger so he can touch the only bare skin he's been allowed to touch to that point. Very sensual moment! The look on Hunter's face was exquisite for all its depth of emotion that the touch arouses.
2) Hunter's character begins to understand HERSELF and her sensuality. There is a scene where she takes the brave step to explore this a bit. She's back at home with her painfully uptight and repressed husband (masterfully played by Sam Neill). He's asleep on the bed and she sits down beside him and begins to stroke his back up and down, using her palm, fingertips, and the back of her hand. He slowly awakens, and in that dreamy haze of half-sleep allows her to continue her sensual wanderings down his back. I love that her honest touch is starting to unlock even her stodgy husband, evidenced by his catching breaths and soft moans. Very sexy.
Monsters Ball (just plain dirty sex)
Unfaithful: Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez have sex in his bed while she shudders uncontrollably, they have sex in a theater, a bathroom stall, and have a pseudo-rape scene in the hall outside his apartment that later becomes consensual
9 1/2 weeks erotic but not sensual
And finally. The Big Easy...sigh. Dennis Quaid has been after her and she's trying to keep her professional distance and he finally 'gets to her'.In his bedroom on his bed, her face is to the camera, she's up on her knees (after telling him that she's no good at this "sex stuff"). His hand has traveled slowly up her leg and you can tell where his hand is You can tell by the look on her face what's going on, and I can damn near feel it m'self... She's getting weaker and weaker with passion and tells him to "Stop that".
Another one is Risky Business when Rebecca first came into the house and asked Tom if he was ready for her? Ready? READY?! Are you kidding? The heat that came off the screen in the next few minutes was enough to melt the film projector wires. When he ran his hands up her body from behind...mmm...
I love the The Piano with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The whole movie is a lesson in understanding the object of your affection. He is intrigued by her, lusts after her, eventually falls in love with her, all the while ardently pressing his desire towards her. He comes to understand the key that unlocks her and is rewarded with her undying devotion. Incidentally, the key had less to do with sex than her sensual nature. Two scenes in this movie just about sent me over the edge.
1) Keitel's character is lying under the piano and he slowly lifts her skirt to just her knee. On the calf of her stocking, he finds a small hole into which he gently inserts one finger so he can touch the only bare skin he's been allowed to touch to that point. Very sensual moment! The look on Hunter's face was exquisite for all its depth of emotion that the touch arouses.
2) Hunter's character begins to understand HERSELF and her sensuality. There is a scene where she takes the brave step to explore this a bit. She's back at home with her painfully uptight and repressed husband (masterfully played by Sam Neill). He's asleep on the bed and she sits down beside him and begins to stroke his back up and down, using her palm, fingertips, and the back of her hand. He slowly awakens, and in that dreamy haze of half-sleep allows her to continue her sensual wanderings down his back. I love that her honest touch is starting to unlock even her stodgy husband, evidenced by his catching breaths and soft moans. Very sexy.
Monsters Ball (just plain dirty sex)
Unfaithful: Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez have sex in his bed while she shudders uncontrollably, they have sex in a theater, a bathroom stall, and have a pseudo-rape scene in the hall outside his apartment that later becomes consensual
9 1/2 weeks erotic but not sensual
And finally. The Big Easy...sigh. Dennis Quaid has been after her and she's trying to keep her professional distance and he finally 'gets to her'.In his bedroom on his bed, her face is to the camera, she's up on her knees (after telling him that she's no good at this "sex stuff"). His hand has traveled slowly up her leg and you can tell where his hand is You can tell by the look on her face what's going on, and I can damn near feel it m'self... She's getting weaker and weaker with passion and tells him to "Stop that".
THOUGHTS: CLARK KENT VS SUPERMAN
I recently been watching Smallville ...i know ..i know...the show is old...but when it was on..I never watched it....big mistake.
Superman is my favorite superhero. That the 'S' on his chest isn't an 'S' at all, but rather represents a Kryptonian symbol for Hope.
I like that.
And when you're a kid, you throw on a red cape, some blue pants, and wear your skivvies on the outside. You run around trying to save cats from trees and pretending to fly.
Boy, that was fun.
But lets cut to adulthood. If you show up to the office like that (and it's not Halloween), people are going to throw you in the loony bin.
But I think we're all missing something. We're missing the one thing that makes Superman greater than any other hero. He was born the way he is, and chooses to lead humanity not through his examples as Superman, but through his examples as Clark Kent.
Stick with me here for a second, because this is a subtle point that I don't think they even get into in any of the comic books, but I think they should.
Superman is a god. Period. He can do things no mortal man can. He has love, adoration and immense power. And what does he choose to do with it? He chooses mild-mannered Clark Kent.
He chooses to stumble when others walk strong. He wears glasses when others have perfect vision. He bumbles his words when he's perfectly fluent.
In short, he makes others feel like superheroes, rather than peacocking his own abilities.
It's the way I've tried to live my life over the last year. Make others feel smarter, more powerful, and richer than you. Why? Because it makes them feel comfortable.
Why would I wear some fancy clothes and a shiny watch when it's only going to make other people feel bad about themselves. No. I'd rather wear a simple white t-shirt, a Nike Fuel Band, and tell them something I really admire about them.
The goal isn't to be a superhero. It's to make others feel like superheroes.
So instead of trying to be like Superman, maybe we should all try to be a little more like Clark Kent.
Superman is my favorite superhero. That the 'S' on his chest isn't an 'S' at all, but rather represents a Kryptonian symbol for Hope.
I like that.
And when you're a kid, you throw on a red cape, some blue pants, and wear your skivvies on the outside. You run around trying to save cats from trees and pretending to fly.
Boy, that was fun.
But lets cut to adulthood. If you show up to the office like that (and it's not Halloween), people are going to throw you in the loony bin.
But I think we're all missing something. We're missing the one thing that makes Superman greater than any other hero. He was born the way he is, and chooses to lead humanity not through his examples as Superman, but through his examples as Clark Kent.
Stick with me here for a second, because this is a subtle point that I don't think they even get into in any of the comic books, but I think they should.
Superman is a god. Period. He can do things no mortal man can. He has love, adoration and immense power. And what does he choose to do with it? He chooses mild-mannered Clark Kent.
He chooses to stumble when others walk strong. He wears glasses when others have perfect vision. He bumbles his words when he's perfectly fluent.
In short, he makes others feel like superheroes, rather than peacocking his own abilities.
It's the way I've tried to live my life over the last year. Make others feel smarter, more powerful, and richer than you. Why? Because it makes them feel comfortable.
Why would I wear some fancy clothes and a shiny watch when it's only going to make other people feel bad about themselves. No. I'd rather wear a simple white t-shirt, a Nike Fuel Band, and tell them something I really admire about them.
The goal isn't to be a superhero. It's to make others feel like superheroes.
So instead of trying to be like Superman, maybe we should all try to be a little more like Clark Kent.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
POETRY: UNHINGES MY SOUL
This vision approached me one night in a dream,
A vision that you were the only one for me.
We were there hand and hand.
You were my superstar; I was your greatest fan.
In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.
We were together, to never fall apart.
You fulfilled my greatest desire,
As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.
You were my angel from above.
You were all of this in my vision of love.
As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.
This one thing I promise, I will always love you.
With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.
Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.
From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.
Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.
You are my heart, thus become my dove.
You are all of this, in my vision of love
2
You took my heart
with only a single glance.
My love for you is a candle
which will always burn.
My love for you is something
you can be sure of.
The way you smile
makes every day of my life
seem worthwhile.
The look in your eyes
makes me realize
you are my one true love.
You entered my life
and completed me.
I can't begin to explain the
feelings I have for you;
when you look deep
into my eyes,
what that makes me do.
3
I never told you how you looked..
with the moon spilling from your fingers
and liquid stars, combed through your hair.
I was trying to hold your shadow in my hands
and I dreamt of sleeping.. without you beside me.
I never told you how you looked..
like an angel, when you slept---
your irridescent beauty always takes my breath away.
and it might break your heart when I say- I hate you
but it is only because- I love you
to a point of passion... that unhinges my soul.
4
I see couples
Holding hands, exchanging glances.
Smiling. Smiling at a secret only they know.
Knowledge I long to know.
Tell me.
Share your secret with me.
Tell me the story of your love,
How you came to discover it.
Was it instant?
Did her smile brighten your world?
Did she make you forget your pain?
Did he show you how beautiful it is?
Did he teach you not to be afraid?
Did he dry your tears
With the sentiment of his heart?
I see them.
Do they realize how lucky they are?
It would be easier if I were envious,
But my desire,
It grows stronger with each day.
I need to love,
To be loved.
I want to share in that knowing glance
With someone as he holds my hand.
Tell me your secret.
A vision that you were the only one for me.
We were there hand and hand.
You were my superstar; I was your greatest fan.
In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.
We were together, to never fall apart.
You fulfilled my greatest desire,
As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.
You were my angel from above.
You were all of this in my vision of love.
As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.
This one thing I promise, I will always love you.
With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.
Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.
From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.
Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.
You are my heart, thus become my dove.
You are all of this, in my vision of love
2
You took my heart
with only a single glance.
My love for you is a candle
which will always burn.
My love for you is something
you can be sure of.
The way you smile
makes every day of my life
seem worthwhile.
The look in your eyes
makes me realize
you are my one true love.
You entered my life
and completed me.
I can't begin to explain the
feelings I have for you;
when you look deep
into my eyes,
what that makes me do.
3
I never told you how you looked..
with the moon spilling from your fingers
and liquid stars, combed through your hair.
I was trying to hold your shadow in my hands
and I dreamt of sleeping.. without you beside me.
I never told you how you looked..
like an angel, when you slept---
your irridescent beauty always takes my breath away.
and it might break your heart when I say- I hate you
but it is only because- I love you
to a point of passion... that unhinges my soul.
4
I see couples
Holding hands, exchanging glances.
Smiling. Smiling at a secret only they know.
Knowledge I long to know.
Tell me.
Share your secret with me.
Tell me the story of your love,
How you came to discover it.
Was it instant?
Did her smile brighten your world?
Did she make you forget your pain?
Did he show you how beautiful it is?
Did he teach you not to be afraid?
Did he dry your tears
With the sentiment of his heart?
I see them.
Do they realize how lucky they are?
It would be easier if I were envious,
But my desire,
It grows stronger with each day.
I need to love,
To be loved.
I want to share in that knowing glance
With someone as he holds my hand.
Tell me your secret.
Monday, November 3, 2014
PERSONAL: You’re Not Reading This By Accident
You’re Not Reading This By Accident
This is meant for you. There is this feeling that universe and life is random , that unexpected things could happen, ..it might be true, but I have a feeling in the air that today is different. ...that your soul will see mine and it kind of went...."Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."
I really don't wast time with the wrong people. If I have to speculate if you loves me and wants to be with me, chances are you are not. It’s not that complicated. I hate wasting moments waiting and wondering. I don't throw away my time dreaming of someone that doesn’t want me. No one is that amazing, certainly not the one who would pass me up. No one is always busy. It’s always about priorities. You will always find time for the people that are important to you. So if respond...respond only if you want to really really be with me.
There are people who can walk away from you… and I let them walk. I am not the type of person who trys to talk another person into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, coming to see me, staying attached to me… My destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over
I know you are not going to believe me..but when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. That's what I learn.
It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
I am looking for someone who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart. And if you think that is you...then be with me and let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Be with me so we can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me..so we’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me..so we can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.
This is meant for you. There is this feeling that universe and life is random , that unexpected things could happen, ..it might be true, but I have a feeling in the air that today is different. ...that your soul will see mine and it kind of went...."Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."
I really don't wast time with the wrong people. If I have to speculate if you loves me and wants to be with me, chances are you are not. It’s not that complicated. I hate wasting moments waiting and wondering. I don't throw away my time dreaming of someone that doesn’t want me. No one is that amazing, certainly not the one who would pass me up. No one is always busy. It’s always about priorities. You will always find time for the people that are important to you. So if respond...respond only if you want to really really be with me.
There are people who can walk away from you… and I let them walk. I am not the type of person who trys to talk another person into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, coming to see me, staying attached to me… My destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over
I know you are not going to believe me..but when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. That's what I learn.
It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
I am looking for someone who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart. And if you think that is you...then be with me and let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Be with me so we can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me..so we’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me..so we can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.
JOURNAL: ROLLER COASTER RELATIONSHIP
Years back, I promised myself that I would never, ever chase after another woman again. I understand that in our society, it’s customary for the man to seek out and court the woman. Likewise, it’s customary for the man to be persistent while the woman is expected to play it cool and brush the man off for a period of time — playing the lady card, or hard-to-get card. Sure, we don’t see much of this these days, thanks to all the twerking Mileys of our generation, but nevertheless, when a man is really interested in a woman, the fact remains that he will chase after her.
Real men know what they want and will go after it until they get it. The problem with this is that most men don’t actually know what they want and if they do, falling for a woman turns the majority of them into lovesick puppies — very hungry, lovesick puppies. If a man doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll only want it more. This turns into an obsession and all such obsessions end badly.
Back when I was still a teenager, I met a girl — so begins every hopeless love story. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. The more I liked her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was going through a rough patch in her life, and because I have a thing for damaged goods (they make me feel less crazy), the rough patch was especially rough.
She didn’t want me in her life; she wanted her independence. She had her heart broken once again, and this time around, the last thing she wanted in her life was another man. The problem was, the sex was incredible. It was so good that although she didn’t want to date me, she couldn’t let me go, either. In the meantime, I had managed to fall for her. And so began my obsession and a chase that lasted nearly two years.
I am going to save all the gloriously awful and painful details — “emotional roller-coaster” is an understatement — but my unhealthy obsession, and unwillingness not to get what I want, eventually broke down the barriers she had put up. She fell for me and I had won my prize. Now, here’s the thing: While love isn’t always felt intensely, obsession is.
Obsession, once it grabs onto you, won’t let you go. It’s filled with elongated moments of intense feeling and emotion. Thoughts of what or whom you’re obsessing over fill your mind like a dark cloud and you’re unable to distract yourself for long periods of time. You wake up thinking of her, you think of her the whole day, you go to bed thinking of her and you dream of her. But once you actually “get” her, your mind no longer has a need to think of her constantly; you have her and are now fulfilling that mental stimulation by spending much more time with her.
The intense feelings inevitably subside and you are left feeling… normal. Let me tell you, after obsessing for a long period of time, normal no longer feels normal. You begin to miss those intense emotions brought on obsession once they subside. Even worse, if you’re inexperienced, as I was, you mistake your obsession for love.
What makes regular obsessions profoundly intense obsessions is love itself; it underlies the obsession and fuels it. Not all obsessions are this soul-wrenching, but if they’re combined with love, they’re nearly unbearable. When the obsession is removed, you fall into a sort of withdrawal. Obsessions like these really are a sort of addiction. When the obsession leaves you, you’re left feeling incomplete.
Here comes the sad part. Although you know that you love her, you don’t feel that you love her. Because the beginning of your relationship was so intense, it set the bar ridiculously high. Now, everything that you feel falls short and you can’t seem to convince yourself that you are, for certain, with the right person. As human beings, we experience things comparatively: Great experiences are only great if they seem great in comparison to other experiences.
You’re still convinced that the way love is supposed to feel is the way you felt during all that time you were chasing the girl. You masked your obsession as being true love and are now unable to redefine true love — at least in regards to this specific person. The relationship is ruined. You’ll never be able to build the relationship you need because your obsession rotted away at the foundation.
Chasing love never works unless it is for a very short period of time. The problem is, once you start chasing, you begin to enjoy the chase, so you chase for a bit longer. Then, it turns into an even longer lasting chase, which inevitably turns into an obsession. If you want to turn your whole world upside down, go ahead and obsess; it’s sure to change you at a deep level. The only upside of all the pain and stress is that you will come out of it as a better person. You might come out wiser and better off than when you first started chasing, but it isn’t guaranteed that you’ll come out at of the dark tunnel at all.
The disillusionment of such obsession more often than not leaves victims depressed. Falling into a depression is much easier than climbing out of one and not all of us are able to manage the task. Obsessions are the leading cause of suicides. Clearly they aren’t all related to the chasing of women, but they are obsessions that fade and disappear, leaving the person lost and confused.
Obsessions substitute our purpose. When the obsession is lost, our purpose in life is lost with it. The only solution is finding a better purpose.
Real men know what they want and will go after it until they get it. The problem with this is that most men don’t actually know what they want and if they do, falling for a woman turns the majority of them into lovesick puppies — very hungry, lovesick puppies. If a man doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll only want it more. This turns into an obsession and all such obsessions end badly.
Back when I was still a teenager, I met a girl — so begins every hopeless love story. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. The more I liked her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was going through a rough patch in her life, and because I have a thing for damaged goods (they make me feel less crazy), the rough patch was especially rough.
She didn’t want me in her life; she wanted her independence. She had her heart broken once again, and this time around, the last thing she wanted in her life was another man. The problem was, the sex was incredible. It was so good that although she didn’t want to date me, she couldn’t let me go, either. In the meantime, I had managed to fall for her. And so began my obsession and a chase that lasted nearly two years.
I am going to save all the gloriously awful and painful details — “emotional roller-coaster” is an understatement — but my unhealthy obsession, and unwillingness not to get what I want, eventually broke down the barriers she had put up. She fell for me and I had won my prize. Now, here’s the thing: While love isn’t always felt intensely, obsession is.
Obsession, once it grabs onto you, won’t let you go. It’s filled with elongated moments of intense feeling and emotion. Thoughts of what or whom you’re obsessing over fill your mind like a dark cloud and you’re unable to distract yourself for long periods of time. You wake up thinking of her, you think of her the whole day, you go to bed thinking of her and you dream of her. But once you actually “get” her, your mind no longer has a need to think of her constantly; you have her and are now fulfilling that mental stimulation by spending much more time with her.
The intense feelings inevitably subside and you are left feeling… normal. Let me tell you, after obsessing for a long period of time, normal no longer feels normal. You begin to miss those intense emotions brought on obsession once they subside. Even worse, if you’re inexperienced, as I was, you mistake your obsession for love.
What makes regular obsessions profoundly intense obsessions is love itself; it underlies the obsession and fuels it. Not all obsessions are this soul-wrenching, but if they’re combined with love, they’re nearly unbearable. When the obsession is removed, you fall into a sort of withdrawal. Obsessions like these really are a sort of addiction. When the obsession leaves you, you’re left feeling incomplete.
Here comes the sad part. Although you know that you love her, you don’t feel that you love her. Because the beginning of your relationship was so intense, it set the bar ridiculously high. Now, everything that you feel falls short and you can’t seem to convince yourself that you are, for certain, with the right person. As human beings, we experience things comparatively: Great experiences are only great if they seem great in comparison to other experiences.
You’re still convinced that the way love is supposed to feel is the way you felt during all that time you were chasing the girl. You masked your obsession as being true love and are now unable to redefine true love — at least in regards to this specific person. The relationship is ruined. You’ll never be able to build the relationship you need because your obsession rotted away at the foundation.
Chasing love never works unless it is for a very short period of time. The problem is, once you start chasing, you begin to enjoy the chase, so you chase for a bit longer. Then, it turns into an even longer lasting chase, which inevitably turns into an obsession. If you want to turn your whole world upside down, go ahead and obsess; it’s sure to change you at a deep level. The only upside of all the pain and stress is that you will come out of it as a better person. You might come out wiser and better off than when you first started chasing, but it isn’t guaranteed that you’ll come out at of the dark tunnel at all.
The disillusionment of such obsession more often than not leaves victims depressed. Falling into a depression is much easier than climbing out of one and not all of us are able to manage the task. Obsessions are the leading cause of suicides. Clearly they aren’t all related to the chasing of women, but they are obsessions that fade and disappear, leaving the person lost and confused.
Obsessions substitute our purpose. When the obsession is lost, our purpose in life is lost with it. The only solution is finding a better purpose.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
DATING: WHY MEN ARE SO ANGRY ONLINE
Traditional courting norms, it is usually men who do the asking and women usually do the selecting. Now man can ask 50 woman online.And why bother to ask them out in all different ways?
Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned. One okCupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles. After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted. This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.
Listen...men, spend all their hours spent browsing photos, writing love notes, and hitting send aren’t “paying off. Who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? There’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… and get thunderous silence in return.
Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned. One okCupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles. After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted. This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.
Listen...men, spend all their hours spent browsing photos, writing love notes, and hitting send aren’t “paying off. Who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? There’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… and get thunderous silence in return.
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