POETRY: MY HEART CANNOT BE RETRIEVED

We search within
for the day of forever,
tying memory after memory
in a never-ending pattern
which flows forwards and back,

and yet,

we never see towards
the periphery,
we stand blinded in the fury
and anticipation of discovery

of the things we hide
and questions we want to ask,

like,
why...

do you burn through my mind,
forever falling
in endless choices,
traveling on the wheel of time
which breaks in every day,

in every hour
that slips through our fingers
too easily
though we grip tightly, like steel,
until we bend too far the other way

and all is gone,

as if it never was,

just one more morning to wake to,
and one more night to struggle with.

There are those who face loss
with fierceness of determination
to overcome and forget,

then there are those
who fall beneath the weight
and pretend
life has some ultimate meaning.

And there are the rest of us
who believe
in the day of forever,

and we wait
and we hold on

...forever.


2

If you must give me your heart,
Let it not be for this and that, or
What you think my love would bring.
Love should be free and fair
A priceless gift from your heart,
For love is spirit and lives in the heart...
Without motive or countless conditions.
For these stipulations of love, my dear, are
Never permanent but temporary indeed
Love is eternal and lives after death
That?s what makes love unique.
Love?s motive is to share and serve,
To build a heart destroyed by fire
Sympathetic but not based on sympathy
Is true love that flows from the heart.
A conditional love is a physical one
Built on material things, fame and fortune
It?s spiritual content is lost to the wind
What?s left...a sounding brass, a tinkling cymbal




3

I'm in control...
I tell myself.
My heart will not be thieved.
You came along,
now it's gone...
and cannot be retrieved.


4

If only for an instant
I could see your beautiful face
It would fill my empty spirit
With wondrous life and grace

As I watch, and you unknowing
I love you from afar
I can see your face is glowing
Underneath the brightest star

In a great majestic palace
Of 'forever' do I wait
And not once feeling callous
To the outcome of my fate

Forever will I want you
And forever you will you be
A memory of something true
That wasn?t meant for me

I?ll see you standing there
And want you standing here
But always loving from afar
And never very near




5

she grabs his hand and holds on tight
 the thought of letting go
  never crosses her mind
they slowly walk, hand in hand
 to a very distant and secret land
she opens her soul
 and pours out her heart
she tells him her every hope, dream,
 thought and prayer
she tells of the love she treasures
 and so dearly holds for him,
  and only him,
how she could get lost
 in his beautiful big, blue eyes
  if he'd only let her
and how every now and then,
 and every moment in between,
  the thought of him lingers in her mind
how his smile can light up a room
 without him even knowing it
she shares the dreams that come every night
 dreams of him and her
  and how they feel so right
she tells him the prayer she's prayed every night
(since the beginning of time) to God up above
 simply asking for him, the one who holds her heart
  in the palm of his hands, to return her love
she turns to walk away, her work there is done
 but he doesn?t let her go
  instead he looks deep into her eyes,
   opens his mouth to speak, but not a sound
    comes from his perfect lips
he smiles his wonderful smile
 and begins to tell her how every time she's near
  he trembles with excitement and fear
how his heart races almost out of control
he says he dreams the same dream
 even says the same prayer to the Lord up above
  that she would share his love
with tears in her eyes, she cracks a smile
 he pulls her near and softly whispers in her ear
whatever it was, he said the right thing
 because today they're celebrating 50 years
  of nothing less than
    an endless love


6


When I wake in the morning 
I long to see you face

When I hear the phone ring
I can only hope to hear your voice

As I walk the short path to your house
I strain to see the car that proves your presence

You open the door to show your smiling face
And I can't keep myself from melting

When you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
I feel as though you're looking right into my soul

When you entwine your hand in mine
It's as though you've connected our hearts

You look at me as though you know my thoughts
And when you speak, it's almost as though you do

As I look at the stars each night 
All I think of is you