Relationship by definition means you are one with the thing you are connected to. Therefore, pure relationship means you are connected to a woman but that connection initially has nothing to do with how you feel about her. Your emotional feelings of attachment to someone should always be a by-product of your relationship and your recognition of them through awareness. When both people have a deep awareness of each other and an awareness that they are birthed from the same Source, something happens on the inside of them and also on the outside of them. There is a space, a pause of silence, and a knowing that the two of you have touched each other, not physically, but spiritually. We often describe these moments as a pause in the space-time continuum. Others simply say: “Time stood still.” No one will be able to tell you what this experience feels like. And I'm sure it feels different for everyone. That's the reason it's so hard to describe to someone else. No words can describe what can't be described. This knowing must be internally felt. The only thing you need to know is it will be a unique experience for the both of you.
You probably have never experienced the love that flows out of awareness. If you have never been self-aware how could you possibly be truly aware of another individual? Your soul mate is out there but you won't' recognize her until you become aware of who you are and give up the false belief that you need a woman. You are only chasing after the image of something you think will heal you or make you whole.
But you can't have relationship with an image. In fact, it's not a stretch to say this: You can't truly have a relationship with anybody until you stop your image making. People naturally resist what other people try to turn them into. If nothing more, a teenager should have taught you this by now. When a teenager reaches a certain stage of their life they attempt to cast off the image the parent gave them, to redefine themselves and establish their own identity.
Parents often think they lose relationship with the child, but the truth of the matter is they never really had a pure relationship with their child. They simply were building an image of what they thought the child should be, either a model after themselves, or a slightly improved one. Parents do this out of what they perceive is their love for the child. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying parents don't love their children. They do. But, only as far as their image making will allow them. When the child struggles for autonomy and fights against the image, which is being forced on him by his parents, the parents, go haywire. They want the child to be tested for drugs, taken to a shrink, or medicated because he's not acting like he's supposed to. Parents often think they have a good relationship with their child when nothing is further from the truth.
This fact can be seen by the child's refusal to talk to their parents about the most important issues in their life. The child doesn't come to them for two primary reasons: The child doesn't want to disappoint his parents because he can't live up to the image, and secondly, the child doesn't want to be judged for choosing to be himself. When it all comes down to it, an image-maker wants to control the image. But, people at their very core are not images and if you try to control them by forcing an image on them, they will rebel. They just shut down and move elsewhere where they will be accepted as they are. From this example, you can see that the child is not rebelling against his parents, but against the image his parents are trying to force upon him.
All of us have been through this state of rebellion and some of us are still rebelling against certain things even to this day. Rebellion and non-conformity aren't necessarily bad. You did it, I did it, and everybody else does it, often several times throughout the course of our lives. It's hell trying to live up to the image and expectations of other people.
I want to drive home the point: True love lies outside any act of the object of love (the person receiving love) and the lover (the giver of love). Thus, when you truly love and have relationship with someone, that love must be independent of anything the person does or doesn't do for you. I know this is a paradox. It's not how we think a relationship is supposed to be. But it is true nonetheless. When love is based upon mutual awareness and respect of the giver of love and the receiver of love, the two can flow in and out of each role in a reciprocal fashion and sustain their cohesiveness together. This can only happen when each person knows they are respected for their unique being and are not in any way being forced to love the other person.
Thus, when a woman does not respond in the way you want or think she should, that's okay. She is exercising her autonomy; independent of the image you have of her. A soul mate will always choose to be who she is. And she will never allow herself to be hurt by what you think about her because she knows herself. She doesn't see herself as an image, so you can't build her up or tear her down. She knows that he can exist and be happy apart from having you in her life. I know this doesn't make you feel good. You want security and a feeling that you are needed. But you are still looking outside yourself for that which can only come from within. If you don't learn to change your need to a want, you are doomed to attract the wrong woman because your thoughts of needing will produce desperation, and desperation will cause you not to wait for your soul mate.
Wanting a woman in your life is a wonderful choice you can make. Needing a woman in your life is not. Men often abandon their own intuition because they think they need a woman. They violate the law of the red flag.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Friday, August 9, 2013
LOVE:WEIGH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS
All men know what women want. They want to be listened to, courted with romantic gestures, treated like they are the most special thing in a man’s life. We dispense this message in a variety of ways, books, poems, songs, movies, even commercials, but the men still don’t get it. What gives?
A lot of women, say they want men who will treat them well, take care of them, love them, and always be there for them. They want a combination of a lover, father, and friend when you get down to it. Many women score this right out of the gate when they pick a responsible man in college. This is the man who will insure their combined offspring will make it to college, but they aren’t satisfied because they want a flashier model. Someone who’ll rev the engine of his Harley as a signal for her to jump on for a wild ride. The decent men battle all the time being put aside for bad boys. These same women try to get their responsible men to take them back after their walk on the wild side, but most are too smart. What causes this incredibly stupid behavior?
How could any thinking woman leave not want a good guy? Notice the emphasis on thinking. He’s very attentive, attractive, and supportive in all ways. What gives?
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
A lot of women, say they want men who will treat them well, take care of them, love them, and always be there for them. They want a combination of a lover, father, and friend when you get down to it. Many women score this right out of the gate when they pick a responsible man in college. This is the man who will insure their combined offspring will make it to college, but they aren’t satisfied because they want a flashier model. Someone who’ll rev the engine of his Harley as a signal for her to jump on for a wild ride. The decent men battle all the time being put aside for bad boys. These same women try to get their responsible men to take them back after their walk on the wild side, but most are too smart. What causes this incredibly stupid behavior?
How could any thinking woman leave not want a good guy? Notice the emphasis on thinking. He’s very attentive, attractive, and supportive in all ways. What gives?
The answer? I have met women who only wanted what they wanted and they never participated in activities I might like to do. They don't want to stay home..they always want to go out. They didn’t even watch television shows I wanted to watch.The list continued.... The theme here is I was only allowed to do whatever the women wanted to do because I didn’t even enter into the equation in their minds. I know most of you are thinking I went along with this? True. I’ve been there and done that too. In the end, since my feelings and needs never mattered it was fairly easy for the women to walk away. What do you call it when all you do is take advantage of someone, I wouldn’t call it love.
This happens all the time in the United States. I mention the United States because we do have the highest rate of divorce than all the other countries. We are more than double Canada our nearest neighbor, and probably the most like us. We are the way we are because we as a society are self-absorbed individuals. We want what we want when we want it and take it if at all possible. This explains why people walk out of relationships all the time when a hot bod walks by. They don’t think, but respond to an impulse.
Throughout our lives we may have twinges of attraction for different people for various reasons. We don’t act on them if we’re smart because we’ve weighed the consequences as soon as we’ve felt the tug of attraction. Of course there is a big difference between casually meeting people in everyday life and actively looking for people. The man or woman who admits to their mate that they fallen for someone at work, didn’t actually fall. They worked to get there by setting up encounters, buying new clothes, even going out for private lunches so they could talk. Sounds different than their eyes meeting across a conference table and they knew they were destined to be together. Ironically, the old mate may have financially sponsored this budding relationship.
People just don’t approach you UNLESS you give out signals that you are approachable. When someone gives you an interested look, you look away to signal your disinterest. People who FALL into relationships while already in one do not look away. Instead, they stand still, smile, even approach the other interested person. They want what they want, which at the time might be one more person.
We’ve established the basic American is selfish. He or she hears via the media to grab all the gusto they can get from life, to indulge themselves, and that it is about them. It’s all about their wants. This type of thinking greatly appeals to people, but never addresses long-term consequences, which also explains the obesity epidemic in our country. The man or woman who treats their mate shabbily eventually leaving them for a newer, flashier model is not a long-term thinker.
Men going through mid-life crisis will often hook up with a twenty-something female who might admire his bank account, his car, or even his nicely weathered features. What the man fails to realize is that his newest possession is counting the days until she can dump his mature carcass. Women on the other hand often abandon good men for a chance to be a skank for a week or two with a known bad boy. This type of behavior gives all women a bad name.
So in retrospect, why are stupid people destroying relationships? It is because they are self-absorbed and short sighted. It is almost like they are in a relationship with themselves and this other person is only in a supportive role. They are short sighted in the fact that they leave the only person who will probably put up with their dysfunctional form of a relationship. I think these people should have warning labels stamped on their foreheads.
Please don’t give me any crap about a bad childhood that caused them to be the way they are. I saw a cartoon once that joked, “Who hasn’t had a dysfunctional childhood?” They all shared the basic talent of behaving well until they got their target hooked. Isn’t it amazing they forgot this same basic behavior once they settled into the relationship? As adults who want adult relationships, we need to act like thinking adults as opposed to spoiled brats. Maybe then, we can bring the divorce rate down. Ironically, the highest rate of divorce is in Florida, where the elderly divorce each other in droves convinced that their fantasy man or women is right around the corner… in the nearest retirement village. Some people never grow up.
This happens all the time in the United States. I mention the United States because we do have the highest rate of divorce than all the other countries. We are more than double Canada our nearest neighbor, and probably the most like us. We are the way we are because we as a society are self-absorbed individuals. We want what we want when we want it and take it if at all possible. This explains why people walk out of relationships all the time when a hot bod walks by. They don’t think, but respond to an impulse.
Throughout our lives we may have twinges of attraction for different people for various reasons. We don’t act on them if we’re smart because we’ve weighed the consequences as soon as we’ve felt the tug of attraction. Of course there is a big difference between casually meeting people in everyday life and actively looking for people. The man or woman who admits to their mate that they fallen for someone at work, didn’t actually fall. They worked to get there by setting up encounters, buying new clothes, even going out for private lunches so they could talk. Sounds different than their eyes meeting across a conference table and they knew they were destined to be together. Ironically, the old mate may have financially sponsored this budding relationship.
People just don’t approach you UNLESS you give out signals that you are approachable. When someone gives you an interested look, you look away to signal your disinterest. People who FALL into relationships while already in one do not look away. Instead, they stand still, smile, even approach the other interested person. They want what they want, which at the time might be one more person.
We’ve established the basic American is selfish. He or she hears via the media to grab all the gusto they can get from life, to indulge themselves, and that it is about them. It’s all about their wants. This type of thinking greatly appeals to people, but never addresses long-term consequences, which also explains the obesity epidemic in our country. The man or woman who treats their mate shabbily eventually leaving them for a newer, flashier model is not a long-term thinker.
Men going through mid-life crisis will often hook up with a twenty-something female who might admire his bank account, his car, or even his nicely weathered features. What the man fails to realize is that his newest possession is counting the days until she can dump his mature carcass. Women on the other hand often abandon good men for a chance to be a skank for a week or two with a known bad boy. This type of behavior gives all women a bad name.
So in retrospect, why are stupid people destroying relationships? It is because they are self-absorbed and short sighted. It is almost like they are in a relationship with themselves and this other person is only in a supportive role. They are short sighted in the fact that they leave the only person who will probably put up with their dysfunctional form of a relationship. I think these people should have warning labels stamped on their foreheads.
Please don’t give me any crap about a bad childhood that caused them to be the way they are. I saw a cartoon once that joked, “Who hasn’t had a dysfunctional childhood?” They all shared the basic talent of behaving well until they got their target hooked. Isn’t it amazing they forgot this same basic behavior once they settled into the relationship? As adults who want adult relationships, we need to act like thinking adults as opposed to spoiled brats. Maybe then, we can bring the divorce rate down. Ironically, the highest rate of divorce is in Florida, where the elderly divorce each other in droves convinced that their fantasy man or women is right around the corner… in the nearest retirement village. Some people never grow up.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
LOVE: HOW CAN YOU GIVE IF YOU'RE JUST ASKING? YOU CAN'T
My journey with women has been long and very confusing. Not because women are bitches (though some really are) or because they’re after money or tall guys (SURPRISE! some still are).
Nobody taught me how to ‘behave’ with women. I had to learn from my every mistake – with anxiety omnipresent, with the feeling of ‘I don’t wanna fuck up’, with trying to be someone I wasn’t. I would pretend I don’t care, I would be shit-scared when I would have to talk to a unknown woman.
I keep wondering how fucked up relationships between men and women are. Movies are over-rated, go watch a couple interact. For me it’s 10 times more entertaining. Then I would go cry because we as men are so stupid and women are stuck in a position of ‘not knowing any better’. We, as genders, are in a prison –the prison of our erroneous beliefs and social conditioning of how we should behave.
Let’s face it. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be supported and appreciated. But how can we find someone that’s loving and appreciative if everyone is searching for the same thing too? How can you give if you’re just asking? You can’t.
My purpose is #1, then come the ladies. Why? Because I feel it’s way more important to run after making the world a better place through my passions and abilities than run after meaningless skirts (although I do love summer skirts) . Second, true women are attracted to men who know who they are and what they want. It’s a byproduct of working on yourself.
After I stopped seeing women like strict pleasure-giving creatures, my vision of them changed. They’re human beings. (let the trumpets blow, the party begin and bring in the cake!) They’re just people like us men, only different.
Wait, the stupid conclusions don’t stop here! There’s more! …
As I connect deeper and deeper with them I can get a sense of how vulnerable they are. Like us, they have to hide behind social masks to protect their feelings. They have to act in a certain way (playing hard to get, being overly-cool and uninterested – sounds familiar?) to have success and be attractive. They’re just as scared as we are (most of them) and want a strong man, a stable and confident one that can guide her on a adventure, on a incredible journey where she feels fun, joy and protected.
So I can be a jack-ass, as I did many times – crack jokes about everything, especially her. I trained myself that way (alpha-male-bullshit) because it put me in a position where I was the leader and it worked. (it worked for who? for the meaningless chicks) Is that really the solution? My only solution is to open up. Being myself vulnerable. Telling her what I really think and feel. That way, we can relate as two intimate human beings, not two social masks.
She DOESN’T want to make fun of you. She doesn’t want your money, your attention and doesn’t want you to brag about how cool you are so she will be ‘attracted’ to you.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m talking about non-psychotic women here, those who are pretty stable. Of course there are a lot of women who just want attention, money and just want to make fun of you. The question is – do you really want to meet them? I can tell pretty quickly when I deal with them. I just leave. I have standards for people in my life, I don’t want crap. And neither should you.
Ultimately, I see women as beings that need love more than anything. They need to be appreciated and cared for. Like a flower, they blossom when watered with love. This gives me a fantastic opportunity – connecting my purpose of giving love to the world with loving women for who they are, as human beings, so they can blossom and give love back even more – to the world and to me, if they wish so.
There’s another VERY important detail here. Notice I’m not asking for anything. I’m not desperate. I don’t want sex, attention, validation of anything of such. I just don’t care. If it doesn’t work out – you don’t like or I don’t like you, it’s ok. There are plenty other people for both of us out there.
It’s not self-imposed – it’s just when you get over sex (which is great, don’t get me wrong, it just doesn’t run the show of my thoughts and feelings anymore) you get over these things. I’m in a position of giving. I’m sure I will receive plenty for this but again, that’s not the catch. If I’d give just to receive, would’t I be desperate again?
You have to be willing to joyfully give from your abundant heart and mind to get here. You have to be full of love (for yourself, for others, for the world) before you can give.
Currently I think my current vision is bringing me happiness, love and peace of mind. In the same time, I’m giving more love than ever and continue to evolve and learn more than ever. It’s like a vortex.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Nobody taught me how to ‘behave’ with women. I had to learn from my every mistake – with anxiety omnipresent, with the feeling of ‘I don’t wanna fuck up’, with trying to be someone I wasn’t. I would pretend I don’t care, I would be shit-scared when I would have to talk to a unknown woman.
I keep wondering how fucked up relationships between men and women are. Movies are over-rated, go watch a couple interact. For me it’s 10 times more entertaining. Then I would go cry because we as men are so stupid and women are stuck in a position of ‘not knowing any better’. We, as genders, are in a prison –the prison of our erroneous beliefs and social conditioning of how we should behave.
Let’s face it. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be supported and appreciated. But how can we find someone that’s loving and appreciative if everyone is searching for the same thing too? How can you give if you’re just asking? You can’t.
My purpose is #1, then come the ladies. Why? Because I feel it’s way more important to run after making the world a better place through my passions and abilities than run after meaningless skirts (although I do love summer skirts) . Second, true women are attracted to men who know who they are and what they want. It’s a byproduct of working on yourself.
After I stopped seeing women like strict pleasure-giving creatures, my vision of them changed. They’re human beings. (let the trumpets blow, the party begin and bring in the cake!) They’re just people like us men, only different.
Wait, the stupid conclusions don’t stop here! There’s more! …
As I connect deeper and deeper with them I can get a sense of how vulnerable they are. Like us, they have to hide behind social masks to protect their feelings. They have to act in a certain way (playing hard to get, being overly-cool and uninterested – sounds familiar?) to have success and be attractive. They’re just as scared as we are (most of them) and want a strong man, a stable and confident one that can guide her on a adventure, on a incredible journey where she feels fun, joy and protected.
So I can be a jack-ass, as I did many times – crack jokes about everything, especially her. I trained myself that way (alpha-male-bullshit) because it put me in a position where I was the leader and it worked. (it worked for who? for the meaningless chicks) Is that really the solution? My only solution is to open up. Being myself vulnerable. Telling her what I really think and feel. That way, we can relate as two intimate human beings, not two social masks.
She DOESN’T want to make fun of you. She doesn’t want your money, your attention and doesn’t want you to brag about how cool you are so she will be ‘attracted’ to you.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m talking about non-psychotic women here, those who are pretty stable. Of course there are a lot of women who just want attention, money and just want to make fun of you. The question is – do you really want to meet them? I can tell pretty quickly when I deal with them. I just leave. I have standards for people in my life, I don’t want crap. And neither should you.
Ultimately, I see women as beings that need love more than anything. They need to be appreciated and cared for. Like a flower, they blossom when watered with love. This gives me a fantastic opportunity – connecting my purpose of giving love to the world with loving women for who they are, as human beings, so they can blossom and give love back even more – to the world and to me, if they wish so.
There’s another VERY important detail here. Notice I’m not asking for anything. I’m not desperate. I don’t want sex, attention, validation of anything of such. I just don’t care. If it doesn’t work out – you don’t like or I don’t like you, it’s ok. There are plenty other people for both of us out there.
It’s not self-imposed – it’s just when you get over sex (which is great, don’t get me wrong, it just doesn’t run the show of my thoughts and feelings anymore) you get over these things. I’m in a position of giving. I’m sure I will receive plenty for this but again, that’s not the catch. If I’d give just to receive, would’t I be desperate again?
You have to be willing to joyfully give from your abundant heart and mind to get here. You have to be full of love (for yourself, for others, for the world) before you can give.
Currently I think my current vision is bringing me happiness, love and peace of mind. In the same time, I’m giving more love than ever and continue to evolve and learn more than ever. It’s like a vortex.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
PERSONAL/ LOVE: ARE YOU MY MS RIGHT
I believe in Ms. Right and I believe that there is at least one for every single guy who is ready for love. The figure of Ms. Right is all very mysterious and sometimes she is hiding under a mountain of absurdly idealistic expectations. So lets define, who is Ms. Right? And more importantly, how can I get my hands on one?
Ms. Right is not a summation of the list of credentials I made up for the “perfect” woman. She is not just any who who says, “I love you.” She is not going to look like my favorite movie star
Ms. Right is the woman that meets my needs and makes me happy. If you rely on a woman to meet ALL your needs than you will doom your search to fail because you have unrealistic expectations. My job is to fill your life with love, support, family, friends, hobbies and work. Then notice what needs are left over that are not being met. This small list of remaining needs is the realistic job description for Ms. Right. If we both do our jobs well, we will find each other and be happy together.
As you grow and learn, your life and the priorities of your needs will change. My version of Ms. Right will probably change as well. This process of learning and growing, involves, what I call, a series of “Ms. Right Now’s.” Every year I change and grow into more evolved person. I notice huge changes in who I am and what needs I have year-to-year. And I find that I always manage to attract a new person into my life that meets those needs and teaches me something I am ready to learn. These experiences take me to the next level. I believe that the sum of these Ms. Right Now’s will lead me to become the person I need to be to eventually attract my life partner.
Just as I may not be ready to meet my ultimate Ms. Right, she may not be ready to meet me. I don’t want a piece of chicken that’s undercooked! Ill let other guys deal with that mess. When she is hot, ready, and cooked to “perfection,” she will find me. Meanwhile I will get myself ready and enjoy my time and development with some wonderfully charming Ms. Right Now’s!
When it comes to finding Ms. Right/Now (whichever it may be) compare the arduous dating process with the romantic and everlasting fun of suit shopping. That’s right. Date as if you are trying on suit. Have a sense of what I want but at the same time, I stay open minded. Sure, looks are important when it comes to suit but the most important thing is, how do they feel? How does the suit make me feel? When you try them on, just a try, (you are not committing to anything by saying yes to a walk around the store) observe if they make you feel confidant? Happy? Irritated? Small? Silly? Shy? Sexy? Relaxed? Nervous? Uncomfortable? Just observe.
If you feel any version of bad with the girl then don’t go out with her again. If you feel any version of good with her then let yourself be interested. If she calls you, great! This is your opportunity to either let him know that yes! Everyone has different tastes. My friend likes ketchup on her spaghetti (gross!) I like pesto. You don’t see ketchup getting insecure because I don’t like it that way. Somebody else loves ketchup on spaghetti. It only takes one to be loved.
Many modern women don’t have room for a man in their life. They been taught that a strong woman is completely independent, successful in the workforce, owns her sexuality, and basically “does it all.” While I very much encourage women to become independent, I want them to be independent with their happiness. But you have to leave room to be made happier. If there is no NEED for a man in your life, he’s not going to apply for the job. Without a call to duty, I'm not going to show up.
PART 2
In the digital world, and the physical world, I keep hearing women talk about finding a husband, and how hard it is to get one. Ladies, it is not that serious or hard at all. Men are quite simple, so you can get one, if you want one. If you want a husband, find one and marry his ass. The problem is that you want Tall, Dark, Rich, Handsome, Muscles, A little of this, a little of that, but I am here to tell that it WILL NOT HAPPEN! There is no perfect man, and I am willing to bet that you are not so perfect your damn self!
Let’s take away all of the physical features and deal with what kind of person you want, or should want. Most women would want a nice, sweet, charming, and romantic man who will listen to them. The type of man who makes them feel as if they are the only woman alive. Am I right, or at least kind of close? How about the type of man that would not mind holding your hand in the public, and/or the type of man that loves to take you out to a nice event? Now I am pretty sure that all of this sounds quite well, but all of this is not good enough for you. You would probably also like this man I just described to have a damn good job, look good, and be physically fit. It’s okay to want all of this, but I’m about to keep it way too real with you. You can have all of this, but you might not be able to get this all at one time.
When it comes to us, we are simple as can be. All a man wants is some food, loving, and for his woman to stroke his ego every now and again. You know! Tell him that he is all the man that you ever wanted. Make him feel like you are proud to have him, and that other dude’s don’t have anything on him. Make him feel like a man, not the little guy at the job that’s barely making it.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Ms. Right is not a summation of the list of credentials I made up for the “perfect” woman. She is not just any who who says, “I love you.” She is not going to look like my favorite movie star
Ms. Right is the woman that meets my needs and makes me happy. If you rely on a woman to meet ALL your needs than you will doom your search to fail because you have unrealistic expectations. My job is to fill your life with love, support, family, friends, hobbies and work. Then notice what needs are left over that are not being met. This small list of remaining needs is the realistic job description for Ms. Right. If we both do our jobs well, we will find each other and be happy together.
As you grow and learn, your life and the priorities of your needs will change. My version of Ms. Right will probably change as well. This process of learning and growing, involves, what I call, a series of “Ms. Right Now’s.” Every year I change and grow into more evolved person. I notice huge changes in who I am and what needs I have year-to-year. And I find that I always manage to attract a new person into my life that meets those needs and teaches me something I am ready to learn. These experiences take me to the next level. I believe that the sum of these Ms. Right Now’s will lead me to become the person I need to be to eventually attract my life partner.
Just as I may not be ready to meet my ultimate Ms. Right, she may not be ready to meet me. I don’t want a piece of chicken that’s undercooked! Ill let other guys deal with that mess. When she is hot, ready, and cooked to “perfection,” she will find me. Meanwhile I will get myself ready and enjoy my time and development with some wonderfully charming Ms. Right Now’s!
When it comes to finding Ms. Right/Now (whichever it may be) compare the arduous dating process with the romantic and everlasting fun of suit shopping. That’s right. Date as if you are trying on suit. Have a sense of what I want but at the same time, I stay open minded. Sure, looks are important when it comes to suit but the most important thing is, how do they feel? How does the suit make me feel? When you try them on, just a try, (you are not committing to anything by saying yes to a walk around the store) observe if they make you feel confidant? Happy? Irritated? Small? Silly? Shy? Sexy? Relaxed? Nervous? Uncomfortable? Just observe.
If you feel any version of bad with the girl then don’t go out with her again. If you feel any version of good with her then let yourself be interested. If she calls you, great! This is your opportunity to either let him know that yes! Everyone has different tastes. My friend likes ketchup on her spaghetti (gross!) I like pesto. You don’t see ketchup getting insecure because I don’t like it that way. Somebody else loves ketchup on spaghetti. It only takes one to be loved.
Many modern women don’t have room for a man in their life. They been taught that a strong woman is completely independent, successful in the workforce, owns her sexuality, and basically “does it all.” While I very much encourage women to become independent, I want them to be independent with their happiness. But you have to leave room to be made happier. If there is no NEED for a man in your life, he’s not going to apply for the job. Without a call to duty, I'm not going to show up.
PART 2
In the digital world, and the physical world, I keep hearing women talk about finding a husband, and how hard it is to get one. Ladies, it is not that serious or hard at all. Men are quite simple, so you can get one, if you want one. If you want a husband, find one and marry his ass. The problem is that you want Tall, Dark, Rich, Handsome, Muscles, A little of this, a little of that, but I am here to tell that it WILL NOT HAPPEN! There is no perfect man, and I am willing to bet that you are not so perfect your damn self!
Let’s take away all of the physical features and deal with what kind of person you want, or should want. Most women would want a nice, sweet, charming, and romantic man who will listen to them. The type of man who makes them feel as if they are the only woman alive. Am I right, or at least kind of close? How about the type of man that would not mind holding your hand in the public, and/or the type of man that loves to take you out to a nice event? Now I am pretty sure that all of this sounds quite well, but all of this is not good enough for you. You would probably also like this man I just described to have a damn good job, look good, and be physically fit. It’s okay to want all of this, but I’m about to keep it way too real with you. You can have all of this, but you might not be able to get this all at one time.
When it comes to us, we are simple as can be. All a man wants is some food, loving, and for his woman to stroke his ego every now and again. You know! Tell him that he is all the man that you ever wanted. Make him feel like you are proud to have him, and that other dude’s don’t have anything on him. Make him feel like a man, not the little guy at the job that’s barely making it.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
LOVE LETTER: DEAR MS RIGHT
Dear Ms. Right,
Sorry the journey to your heart has taken me so long, but know that the path that led me to your soul has taught me what to expect so that I know how to love and cherish who you are for the rest of our lives together. You didn’t have to wait for me, but I am thankful and deeply honoured that you choose too. Your patience, kindness, and love are treasured gifts, even if sometimes you’re too angry to give them, and I gladly offer them to you in return. Thank you for supporting and taking care of me when I couldn’t, and felt weak. I am thankful for your courage, and seeing your strength inspires me. Although I may not say it as often as I should, everyday I am blessed to know you’re there for me. Thank you for putting ‘us’ first and being my best friend even in times when you may not have felt like it. And though we may argue and get angry with each other, I appreciate that you can tell me how stubborn I can be. God couldn’t have sent me a better friend.
Thank you for being my blessing in disguise, loving my flaws, and looking past my imperfections. Know that I’m humbled by your honesty, excited by your presence and in awe of your open-heart. You didn’t have to take the time to get to know me, but you did. And though my interests might not be your own, I’m blessed that you understand and accept them. And know that our shared interests mean more to me than anything in this world and the next. There is so much more I wish to express to you, but words can’t do what I feel justice, so thank you for allow me to show you. Thank you for valuing me not just as a man, but as a human being, and having faith not just in me, but in ‘us’. Knowing you trust in love, I am more confident, blessed and eternally grateful to spend my life by your side. Humbled by your grace and beauty, I am inspired by your fearlessness, and your sense of gratitude. Though the path that led me to you tested every bit of me, know that I would do it again if it meant that it would bring me to your unconditional love. People will look and say it seems like a fairytale, but you and I will know the real story.
With Love,
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Sorry the journey to your heart has taken me so long, but know that the path that led me to your soul has taught me what to expect so that I know how to love and cherish who you are for the rest of our lives together. You didn’t have to wait for me, but I am thankful and deeply honoured that you choose too. Your patience, kindness, and love are treasured gifts, even if sometimes you’re too angry to give them, and I gladly offer them to you in return. Thank you for supporting and taking care of me when I couldn’t, and felt weak. I am thankful for your courage, and seeing your strength inspires me. Although I may not say it as often as I should, everyday I am blessed to know you’re there for me. Thank you for putting ‘us’ first and being my best friend even in times when you may not have felt like it. And though we may argue and get angry with each other, I appreciate that you can tell me how stubborn I can be. God couldn’t have sent me a better friend.
Thank you for being my blessing in disguise, loving my flaws, and looking past my imperfections. Know that I’m humbled by your honesty, excited by your presence and in awe of your open-heart. You didn’t have to take the time to get to know me, but you did. And though my interests might not be your own, I’m blessed that you understand and accept them. And know that our shared interests mean more to me than anything in this world and the next. There is so much more I wish to express to you, but words can’t do what I feel justice, so thank you for allow me to show you. Thank you for valuing me not just as a man, but as a human being, and having faith not just in me, but in ‘us’. Knowing you trust in love, I am more confident, blessed and eternally grateful to spend my life by your side. Humbled by your grace and beauty, I am inspired by your fearlessness, and your sense of gratitude. Though the path that led me to you tested every bit of me, know that I would do it again if it meant that it would bring me to your unconditional love. People will look and say it seems like a fairytale, but you and I will know the real story.
With Love,
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
LOVE LETTER: YOUR REJECTION LETTER FOR NOT BEING THE ONE
The Ms. Right Rejection Letter Form
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Ms. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your stomach is bigger than mine.
___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Not being submissive or passive enough.(There can be only one captain in a ship
___ You failed the faithful check.
___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing.
___ Not being sexual enough...not taking care of me.
___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: looks do matter.
Sincerely,
Alex
___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Not being submissive or passive enough.(There can be only one captain in a ship
___ You failed the faithful check.
___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing.
___ Not being sexual enough...not taking care of me.
___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: looks do matter.
Sincerely,
Alex
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE...I NEED YOU NOT TO JUST LOVE ME, BUT LONG FOR ME
By the time you read this knowing it’s for you, you already have my heart, along with the promise that it is yours to keep for the rest of our lives. Now there’s something I need to tell you, a seldom-spoken truth about the heart I gave that hopefully won’t change your mind.
I need you to pursue me.
There. Writing it, I sort of cringe in front of my computer. I try to find words that are less needy, less emotional, less vulnerable. It sounds so…weak...coming from a guy But as much as I believe in a man’s worth apart from a woman’s opinion, there it is, the bare, unvarnished truth of my heart: I need you not just to love me, but to long for me.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not merely being longed for that I crave. There have been other pursuits in the past, other promises that I haven’t accepted because I was waiting for you to show up. But when you came…I stopped running. It’s kind of ironic that the woman I cannot turn away from is the one whose pursuit I most desire.
May I tell you something else? Sometimes, I don’t really believe I deserve it. On the darkest days, I wonder if you can ever look at me and see someone you would seek to the ends of the earth, someone worth fighting for, someone captivating and absolutely irreplaceable. And I’m very much afraid that if the answer is no, or a devastatingly careless shrug, my love for you and my self-doubt would conspire to make me accept it. I would make excuses on your behalf, clinging to the assurance you gave while you were still trying to win me, convincing myself that it’s enough. I would dismiss my need as overly romantic and unreasonable, all the while quietly wondering if you’re only staying because I ask so little of you. And day by day, my heart would gradually shrink, drying up and shriveling on the part that your yearning used to fill.
So please. When we are spending our lives together, never stop wanting me.
Miss me when I’m gone. Really miss me.
Listen when I talk, even if it doesn’t seem important to you, even when it’s hard to understand. That’s how I’ll know you’re still discovering me, that you’re still interested, and not indifferent.
Don’t let me be the only one who asks for quality time. and to want to make love Your time, those moments when we can just delight in each other, is the “I love you” I most understand.
Kiss me and fuck me.... like you mean it. Let’s promise never to let ourselves get out of practice.
I want our bed to eventually sag in the middle, because that’s where we always end up, instinctively drawing close even in our sleep. There’s nothing sadder in a marriage, I think, than a bed where the occupants never cross the boundary between his side and hers.
Whatever you do, just tell me. Tell me in a way that feels more than just a habit. Tell me with your voice and your eyes and your hands. Tell me with the way you seek my gaze across a crowd. Tell me with the way you touch me when we wake up. Tell me you want me, desire me, that you would choose me again if we both lived twice.
Because there’s one last thing I want to confess, my darling: that’s exactly how I feel about you. You see, I’ve been longing for you all my life. Even before we met, even when my faith wavered that you would come, I’ve been longing for you. And the truth is, love, I simply don’t know how to stop.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
I need you to pursue me.
There. Writing it, I sort of cringe in front of my computer. I try to find words that are less needy, less emotional, less vulnerable. It sounds so…weak...coming from a guy But as much as I believe in a man’s worth apart from a woman’s opinion, there it is, the bare, unvarnished truth of my heart: I need you not just to love me, but to long for me.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not merely being longed for that I crave. There have been other pursuits in the past, other promises that I haven’t accepted because I was waiting for you to show up. But when you came…I stopped running. It’s kind of ironic that the woman I cannot turn away from is the one whose pursuit I most desire.
May I tell you something else? Sometimes, I don’t really believe I deserve it. On the darkest days, I wonder if you can ever look at me and see someone you would seek to the ends of the earth, someone worth fighting for, someone captivating and absolutely irreplaceable. And I’m very much afraid that if the answer is no, or a devastatingly careless shrug, my love for you and my self-doubt would conspire to make me accept it. I would make excuses on your behalf, clinging to the assurance you gave while you were still trying to win me, convincing myself that it’s enough. I would dismiss my need as overly romantic and unreasonable, all the while quietly wondering if you’re only staying because I ask so little of you. And day by day, my heart would gradually shrink, drying up and shriveling on the part that your yearning used to fill.
So please. When we are spending our lives together, never stop wanting me.
Miss me when I’m gone. Really miss me.
Listen when I talk, even if it doesn’t seem important to you, even when it’s hard to understand. That’s how I’ll know you’re still discovering me, that you’re still interested, and not indifferent.
Don’t let me be the only one who asks for quality time. and to want to make love Your time, those moments when we can just delight in each other, is the “I love you” I most understand.
Kiss me and fuck me.... like you mean it. Let’s promise never to let ourselves get out of practice.
I want our bed to eventually sag in the middle, because that’s where we always end up, instinctively drawing close even in our sleep. There’s nothing sadder in a marriage, I think, than a bed where the occupants never cross the boundary between his side and hers.
Whatever you do, just tell me. Tell me in a way that feels more than just a habit. Tell me with your voice and your eyes and your hands. Tell me with the way you seek my gaze across a crowd. Tell me with the way you touch me when we wake up. Tell me you want me, desire me, that you would choose me again if we both lived twice.
Because there’s one last thing I want to confess, my darling: that’s exactly how I feel about you. You see, I’ve been longing for you all my life. Even before we met, even when my faith wavered that you would come, I’ve been longing for you. And the truth is, love, I simply don’t know how to stop.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
LOVE: ARE YOU REALLY READY TO MET YOUR SOULMATE?
Michael Jackson wrote a poignant songs-- “The Man In The Mirror” which inspired this post. I would like to ask every woman, presuming you could meet a single man who possessed your criteria for what a good man is, who wasn’t intimidated by other men or your place in life, wasn’t insecure, who was willing to develop a mature relationship with you that could lead to marriage – would you consider yourself to be the woman that he would want in return?? As much talking that has been done about how trifling, immature and under-developed men are, do you really consider yourself to be the woman that “Mr. Right For You” would want in return??
The origin of this question doesn’t come from my past serious relationships and it doesn’t come from my divorce. It certainly comes from the numerous conversations or observations of women when I and other men think “do you even hear the words that are coming out of your mouth??” Unfortunately, if I had to assess whether many women are what I or what other men of good character would want (not referring to physical attraction, purely personality), the answer would be a resounding “hell NO.”
To cut to the chase as to why this may be the point, it is my observation that there are two types of women (for the purposes of this letter), the first is the woman that simply knows herself, the second woman is the woman who not only knows herself, but she is also “self aware.” We all know what knowing yourself is – it includes your likes, turn-offs, ambitions, desires, etc. However, being “self aware” means that you not only know yourself, you are also fully aware of how you are perceived by other people.
Again, my observation is that there are many women that exhibit less than desirable personality qualities (i.e. argumentative, aggresive, etc.) and unfortunately, they have no idea that they would run a good guy off in a heartbeat. I would like to ask some woman out there “which one of your girlfriends would you personally date if you were a guy.” I am sure most would say, “let me get back to you on that.” Of course that’s not true of every woman. However, the major point that I’m sharing is that sometimes women can be so fixated on “this is me and this is who I am, take it or leave it” that they don’t realize how much of a turn off their personality truly is, especially to a man that they would want to attract.
Its even amazing the number of arguments/squabbles that women have with their women friends during girls night out, girl’s vacations, etc. You hear comments like “I’ll never travel with her again”, “I hate waiting for her” or “that’s why I like it when I drive as opposed to riding with them” and many more complaints about women friends. Guess what – you and/or your girlfriends bring that same behavior (and more) in their relationships with men. Women don’t even want to deal with their girl friends (in some cases) because “you know how SHE is.” That’s exactly the point I’m making about the same and worse behavior with men.
Again, the natural defense is to say “well, what about the guys who…” – we’re not talking about them right now, this is about you being ready for “Mr. Right For You” in the event that’s what you would like to have in your life.
I know that there are some women that would say “if a guy doesn’t like me for who I am, then he’s not the guy for me.” Well, let’s take a look at who you are quite honestly:
Are you conflict oriented or conflict averse?
Are you boring or engaging?
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
The origin of this question doesn’t come from my past serious relationships and it doesn’t come from my divorce. It certainly comes from the numerous conversations or observations of women when I and other men think “do you even hear the words that are coming out of your mouth??” Unfortunately, if I had to assess whether many women are what I or what other men of good character would want (not referring to physical attraction, purely personality), the answer would be a resounding “hell NO.”
To cut to the chase as to why this may be the point, it is my observation that there are two types of women (for the purposes of this letter), the first is the woman that simply knows herself, the second woman is the woman who not only knows herself, but she is also “self aware.” We all know what knowing yourself is – it includes your likes, turn-offs, ambitions, desires, etc. However, being “self aware” means that you not only know yourself, you are also fully aware of how you are perceived by other people.
Again, my observation is that there are many women that exhibit less than desirable personality qualities (i.e. argumentative, aggresive, etc.) and unfortunately, they have no idea that they would run a good guy off in a heartbeat. I would like to ask some woman out there “which one of your girlfriends would you personally date if you were a guy.” I am sure most would say, “let me get back to you on that.” Of course that’s not true of every woman. However, the major point that I’m sharing is that sometimes women can be so fixated on “this is me and this is who I am, take it or leave it” that they don’t realize how much of a turn off their personality truly is, especially to a man that they would want to attract.
Its even amazing the number of arguments/squabbles that women have with their women friends during girls night out, girl’s vacations, etc. You hear comments like “I’ll never travel with her again”, “I hate waiting for her” or “that’s why I like it when I drive as opposed to riding with them” and many more complaints about women friends. Guess what – you and/or your girlfriends bring that same behavior (and more) in their relationships with men. Women don’t even want to deal with their girl friends (in some cases) because “you know how SHE is.” That’s exactly the point I’m making about the same and worse behavior with men.
Again, the natural defense is to say “well, what about the guys who…” – we’re not talking about them right now, this is about you being ready for “Mr. Right For You” in the event that’s what you would like to have in your life.
I know that there are some women that would say “if a guy doesn’t like me for who I am, then he’s not the guy for me.” Well, let’s take a look at who you are quite honestly:
Are you conflict oriented or conflict averse?
Are you boring or engaging?
Do you control the conversation?
Are you bossy or flexible?
Are you abrasive or soothing?
Are you clingly/insecure or secure?
Are you overly needy or independent to the extent there’s no room for anyone else or somewhere in the middle?
Do you appear to be frigid or tastefully alluring (let’s be honest, men do want to be ATTRACTED to a woman?)
I know that times have changed and that women have to assume more responsibility in the home and in the office than ever before. HOWEVER, one of the biggest things that I’ve seen in the 21st century woman that is a major turn-off is the lack of a brain buffer. Quite honestly that means that what comes up, comes out. In addition to the brain buffer issue is women who are theoretically so far on their own page with their likes, dislikes, “this is the way that I amisms”, that it literally turns people (women and men) off or runs them away. Again, I am referring to the “getting to know you” process.” These issues can be omnipresent even prior to an actual relationship ensuing.
Let me explain something briefly. Many times the guy that you are looking for who is sensitive to your needs, supports you in your progression of yourself, wants to carry his part of the load and all those other great things really doesn’t want a sarcastic, “flip”, “say whatever you feel” kind of woman. This doesn’t mean that he’s not looking for your opinion and doesn’t want to hear what you have to say. That also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want a funny, witty woman with a ton of personality. This is where the old adage “it’s not always what you say, but how you say it” comes in. We are in a time where far too often women don’t care how they say what it is they have to say to a man. This may seem unreasonable, but it’s no different than the desire to have a man ask something of you rather than demand it. The gruff, crass and thoughtless way that some women speak (especially to men) these days doesn’t garner any level of respect, love, courtesy or desire to want to spend time with a woman who doesn’t have enough discretion to think before she speaks.
Some women may say “I don’t want to have to go through all of that, if I feel something I should just be able to say whatever.” Again, you wouldn’t want some guy coming at you half-witted and quarter-cocked with the first dumb ass thing out of his mouth. Just consider the feeling mutual. Too often the lack of decorum and the feeling of “whatever” that many women have will continue to attract the guys who do the same in return and alienate the ones who would offer them the respect in return of thinking before they said the first thing that came to mind.
Many women are under the impression that men are intimidated by free-thinking, motivated and assertive women. Though that may be the case with some men, there are many men who want a woman with wit, energy, ideas and ambition. HOWEVER, they want them to still be and act like women. The same way that it’s a turn off for a man to exhibit what would be considered “girl like” tendencies, it is equally as much of a turn off to a man for a woman to interact with him, have conflict with him and “get at” him the way that a man would. It doesn’t mean that a “good” man wants a woman to be demure or soft-spoken. Mature and developed men can receive what you’re saying much better when it’s delivered with grace, class and panache’ as opposed to when it’s being delivered with the subtlety of a baseball bat. The same way you want a man to be a man, a man talking with a woman, doesn’t wants to feel like he’s “going at it” with one of his boys unless it’s the tone of a specific conversation. It is cool to feel like you have a woman that can flow between “kickin it” and the serious man/woman vibe. Unfortunately, I’m not referring to moments of conflict; I’m just referring to typical everyday conversation where women are so raw and at times abrasive that it’s a turnoff. When I say abrasive I’m not referring to profanity. More like talking at someone instead of talking to them or just frankly saying anything that comes to mind regardless of how it may be received.
On the other end of the spectrum is the woman that feels that her opinion doesn’t matter or she constantly relegates herself to whatever the man’s position would be. Included in that is the woman who is not engaging in many regards and doesn’t present any level of allure or captivating quality to attract a man. The man you want typically only fully respects women that they fully respect themselves. Good guys typically are drawn to women who feel good about themselves. It is not my assertion in any way that a woman should “kow tow” to a man in any way. I feel that the most progressive relationships will always be the ones where the two act as equals (still respective of the man/woman dynamic) and the woman is not relegated to the lesser person in the relationship. Unfortunately, many woman position themselves in that place are at times taken advantage of because of it. Much of that was/is her doing.
Again, it is my personal opinion that the right woman can get a man to do just about anything that she would want if she was more desirable (mentally and yes, physically too – this is a desire based connection for both sexes) than demanding in many cases. There is an old statement that still is as true today as it has ever been – “you can attract a lot more bees with honey than you can with vinegar” and unfortunately many women have lost sight of that. On far too many occasions the otherwise desirable woman is driving men away by not being “self aware” and simply being herself.
So how is it that this position assumed by women of not being “self aware” can attract busters and stave off the desirable guy? Let’s look at the buster. The synonym for buster is predator. Busters look at women with emotional issues, super-ego/attitudes, walls, emotionally unavailable and/or low self-esteem as prey or a challenge. That means that by their very nature they know that your soft exterior or rough exterior, whatever you may have can be broken down by a series of saying and/or doing the things to get past the barriers that have been put up. The same way that the jackal stalks the lioness, many women are throwing so much of their “this is how I am” nature or their “I have low esteem” nature out there that its literally pheromones attracting the jackal who is willing to “play the game” until you break down and give him whatever it is he wants. The buster/predator sees you as a project, a thing to do, a conquest and is willing to engage in the game of “this is me” because he wants to destroy you or at least take the parts that he wants and leave the rest behind.
How does being “self aware” help minimize the attacks from the buster/predator? The same way that the woman that is not self aware can turn her friends off and not care, can rub the right guy the wrong way and say “he wasn’t the one for me” is the same woman that is so far on her own page that she doesn’t see the true intentions of the buster. It is her bullshit ways that have become the bait that the buster uses because they know that given the right “approach” they can and will break her down.
On the total other hand – the mature, progressive, “willing to grow with you” type guy is the one that typically sees the walls, the issues, the unnecessary difficulty, the low-esteem, the inflexibility or brash disposition and would rather not be bothered with all of that. All of what you may ask? All of the posturing, extreme ego, insensitivity, lack of esteem, potential conflict that he will notice very early in interacting with a woman if he himself is “self aware.” Self aware women and self aware men are not predators. They don’t have time to decipher the code of what makes you tick or burst through the proverbial walls that have been erected.
It is the law of attraction – those things that are alike in life are drawn to one another. The predator and the prey are drawn to one another. It is very much like Job 3:25 from the bible “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” Many women, I have to tell you – you are running the desirable guys away with your attitudes, lack of humility, lack of grace, lack of self-anything, lack of femininity (beyond sex appeal) and you are attracting the busters for the same exact reasons. Then those same women are enabling and supporting the behavior of the predators that they are in relationships with and are looking to place the blame on the man. Every person’s first order of priority is to love yourself, you can not look for anyone to love you more than you are willing to love yourself.
Men and women have a lot of complexities in relationships and again, this letter can not and does not address all of them. However, if you are finding that you don’t know where “the good men are” or if you seem to attract predators in your life, it’s possible that you may have the entire male species figured out, so you would like to believe. My question then would be, how much time have you taken to assess your own quirks, idiosyncrasies and ways about you that may drive your friends or a good man to not want to further a relationship with you? How happy are you with your “this is me” attitude or disposition if “good” men and women may not want to be around you while you’re being you. When you look at the woman in the mirror, is that your best self or the person that you’ve resigned yourself to be?
Life should be evolving, it should exhibit growth and I’ve seen and observed far too many women who have tuned out the world so much that the only tune that they hear is their own. The sad part about that is that they’re the only ones willing to play that song because there’s no room for anybody else to join in.
I was raised by wonderful women and she is very strong willed and opinionated. The thing that I love about her the most is that she speak loud and clear, but they also listen in return. She taught me to listen, not only to myself, but to others. That ability to listen is what can allow me to be in a conversation with a woman and be able to detect that the primary tune that she hears is her own, there’s really no place for me in that band.
I would venture to say that given the number of men that I’ve talked to about the state of their relationships that I’m “on to something” with this synopsis. These good guys find themselves on bad dates and undesirable situations with women just the same way women do. Here’s the scary part – the buster/predator guys that are bad dates, really don’t care if they are good to women or not. The buster/predator doesn’t care how you perceive him, if it’s a failed attempt, he’s on to the next victim. The women who are bad dates, you can’t tell them a damn thing!! To say that they are not self-aware is an understatement. The even scarier part is that the dynamics of some (not all, but some) female friendships is that women can’t even keep it real with their girls and let them know how “out of pocket” that their girl is. Or if they do tell her, she’s not listening. Additionally, the women who know that they haven’t taken a good look in the mirror intentionally relay stories (by only telling part of the truth) to their girls to get advice from them that fosters their continuance of their less than desirable behavior.
In the end, it’s not up to a guy, your girls or anybody to police your behavior ladies. In the end it’s you.
Let me take this one step further for the women who do move past the “getting to know you” stage and actually develop a relationship with a “good guy.” The woman who is “self aware” recognizes that once she has started dating a good guy that the journey is not over, it has just begun while the woman that only knows what she likes and dislikes feels like “mission accomplished.” Far too many women equate fidelity with being a “good woman.” That is to say that as long as she’s faithful to her guy she can act in any manner that she wants (including driving a guy crazy for no reason) and as long as she’s faithful she’s a “good woman.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you are not aware of how your moods, outbursts, despondence, “shitty tone”, demands, sometimes insatiable or needy behavior is affecting your man you are not being a “good woman” in his eyes regardless of how faithful you are. This is where it becomes most critical that you are “self aware” because your behavior will push a good guy out the door if you can’t police yourself.
To the women who none of this applies to, congratulations to you. That still doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues to be fleshed out while in the relationship, but at least you’re one step closer to shakin’ the busters and attracting a winner. To the women that want to know where are all of the good men and why does this keep happening to me, when was the last time you took a look at the woman in the mirror. When was the last time you heard and received the positive and progressive advice of the men and women in your life, when was the last time you asked somebody “what. if anything, do you think that I could work on to be the best person I could be for myself and in a relationship?” I would venture to say that women spend an inordinate amount of time griping about how there are no (or only a few) good men out here, but not nearly as much time is spent on being the best that they can be or pointing out issues to their girls. Again, sometimes they do that and their girl “knows so much” that she’s not listening to the good advice being offered.
I’d like to share that denial is a lose/lose scenario for everybody. Its great to love yourself and feel good about who you are and I would never want to insinuate that anyone become less of a person to allow room for somebody else. As men are to be providers and protectors, women are nurturers and sources of comfort. I’m not saying to give your “gifts” of comfort and nurture to everyone. However, allow for others to qualify you as you should qualify them without the “all self-knowing” part of your personality disqualifying you before you even get a chance.
Understand that the notion that the “right guy for you” will love you just as you are, despite your idiosyncrasies, quirks, flaws and attitudes that are a manifestation of “this is how I am” (as opposed to general likes and dislikes) is highly unlikely. What’s a general like or dislike? Basic things like “I don’t like football”, “I would prefer to go to the early church service” as opposed to “this is how I talk, so deal with it”, “this is how I get sometimes” or “I’ve never had to do XYZ for myself, so I won’t worry how to do it now.” Its not that only “strong” women exhibit these attitudes, a passive woman who doesn’t form her own opinion or appears helpless or “whoa is me” at all times can be just as much of a turnoff for the mature man looking for a progressive relationship.
The fairytale, the “Notebook” (refering to the movie) love affair, the myth that any person male or female will totally accept and more importantly, be fulfilled with another person without regard to that person operating in their best self is again, high unlikely. It doesn’t mean that a meaningful relationship can not be had, it more so means that the odds of that relationship being with the “ideal” man that was desired/envisioned is very improbable.
Thesis Statement Ladies: Many women say that they are not settling until they find what they want ideally in a man. However, many of those same women settle on being their lesser selves as a person and potential mate as opposed to finding their best self that would attract the man they feel would be their ideal compliment.
When I speak of settling within yourself I’m not referring to worldly ambition or being “goal oriented.” I am referring to character and the caliber of “feminine esthetic” that makes a man want to be around and partner with a woman. There are many ambitious and accomplished women who develop false-pride (as many men do) and lose a fair amount of humility as they accomplish more and also as they feel better about themselves. Accomplishment and esteem are in direct relationship to humility. The more you “are”, the more you “do”, the more you “have to offer”, the more humble ANY PERSON (man or woman) should become. Far too often women gain a stronger sense of self, attain more “stuff” and lose their humility which in turn may be a turn-off to a good guy. Women deserve to be proud and feel good about what they have done or who they are as women. There is however a huge difference in being proud and remaining humble. The right guy will respect you more and possibly desire you more if your confidence and accomplishments surpass the average man without having the “false pride”, “BIG EGO” (pun intended) and “chip on her shoulder” to go with it.
A quick note to the women who have been hurt by guys in the past, let that burden and frustration go. It is not the next guy’s job to pick up the slack and remove the hurt of your past relationships. Yes, I agree – this is true of men, as well as women – I got you!! Again, we’re talking about women here.
So, let me put a wrap on the letter by saying that of course there is no such thing as perfection. There is an air of compromise, acceptance, patience and tolerance that a relationship will have to endure on both sides. However, there is a growing contingency of women who are not “self aware” and have attitudes, insufferable dispositions/opinions who refuse to make adjustments in any relationships male/female and even with female friends and these individuals can not figure out why they’re unlucky in love. The mirror is only a step away.
I also want to say that if your first response upon reading this is “well about what the guys when they” or “if men didn’t do” or “if men would do”, then basically you’re listening to your own song and missed the entire purpose of the letter. It wouldn’t be surprising if you never heard what anyone said outside of your own voice in your head. The subject of this letter is women’s issues in a particular area, not men’s issues.
Go to the mirror, put your song on mute, take a long look with both eyes open and ask yourself – “am I the only person that likes what I see”, your soul and your environment will provide the answer – only if you are willing to listen.
Are you bossy or flexible?
Are you abrasive or soothing?
Are you clingly/insecure or secure?
Are you overly needy or independent to the extent there’s no room for anyone else or somewhere in the middle?
Do you appear to be frigid or tastefully alluring (let’s be honest, men do want to be ATTRACTED to a woman?)
I know that times have changed and that women have to assume more responsibility in the home and in the office than ever before. HOWEVER, one of the biggest things that I’ve seen in the 21st century woman that is a major turn-off is the lack of a brain buffer. Quite honestly that means that what comes up, comes out. In addition to the brain buffer issue is women who are theoretically so far on their own page with their likes, dislikes, “this is the way that I amisms”, that it literally turns people (women and men) off or runs them away. Again, I am referring to the “getting to know you” process.” These issues can be omnipresent even prior to an actual relationship ensuing.
Let me explain something briefly. Many times the guy that you are looking for who is sensitive to your needs, supports you in your progression of yourself, wants to carry his part of the load and all those other great things really doesn’t want a sarcastic, “flip”, “say whatever you feel” kind of woman. This doesn’t mean that he’s not looking for your opinion and doesn’t want to hear what you have to say. That also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want a funny, witty woman with a ton of personality. This is where the old adage “it’s not always what you say, but how you say it” comes in. We are in a time where far too often women don’t care how they say what it is they have to say to a man. This may seem unreasonable, but it’s no different than the desire to have a man ask something of you rather than demand it. The gruff, crass and thoughtless way that some women speak (especially to men) these days doesn’t garner any level of respect, love, courtesy or desire to want to spend time with a woman who doesn’t have enough discretion to think before she speaks.
Some women may say “I don’t want to have to go through all of that, if I feel something I should just be able to say whatever.” Again, you wouldn’t want some guy coming at you half-witted and quarter-cocked with the first dumb ass thing out of his mouth. Just consider the feeling mutual. Too often the lack of decorum and the feeling of “whatever” that many women have will continue to attract the guys who do the same in return and alienate the ones who would offer them the respect in return of thinking before they said the first thing that came to mind.
Many women are under the impression that men are intimidated by free-thinking, motivated and assertive women. Though that may be the case with some men, there are many men who want a woman with wit, energy, ideas and ambition. HOWEVER, they want them to still be and act like women. The same way that it’s a turn off for a man to exhibit what would be considered “girl like” tendencies, it is equally as much of a turn off to a man for a woman to interact with him, have conflict with him and “get at” him the way that a man would. It doesn’t mean that a “good” man wants a woman to be demure or soft-spoken. Mature and developed men can receive what you’re saying much better when it’s delivered with grace, class and panache’ as opposed to when it’s being delivered with the subtlety of a baseball bat. The same way you want a man to be a man, a man talking with a woman, doesn’t wants to feel like he’s “going at it” with one of his boys unless it’s the tone of a specific conversation. It is cool to feel like you have a woman that can flow between “kickin it” and the serious man/woman vibe. Unfortunately, I’m not referring to moments of conflict; I’m just referring to typical everyday conversation where women are so raw and at times abrasive that it’s a turnoff. When I say abrasive I’m not referring to profanity. More like talking at someone instead of talking to them or just frankly saying anything that comes to mind regardless of how it may be received.
On the other end of the spectrum is the woman that feels that her opinion doesn’t matter or she constantly relegates herself to whatever the man’s position would be. Included in that is the woman who is not engaging in many regards and doesn’t present any level of allure or captivating quality to attract a man. The man you want typically only fully respects women that they fully respect themselves. Good guys typically are drawn to women who feel good about themselves. It is not my assertion in any way that a woman should “kow tow” to a man in any way. I feel that the most progressive relationships will always be the ones where the two act as equals (still respective of the man/woman dynamic) and the woman is not relegated to the lesser person in the relationship. Unfortunately, many woman position themselves in that place are at times taken advantage of because of it. Much of that was/is her doing.
Again, it is my personal opinion that the right woman can get a man to do just about anything that she would want if she was more desirable (mentally and yes, physically too – this is a desire based connection for both sexes) than demanding in many cases. There is an old statement that still is as true today as it has ever been – “you can attract a lot more bees with honey than you can with vinegar” and unfortunately many women have lost sight of that. On far too many occasions the otherwise desirable woman is driving men away by not being “self aware” and simply being herself.
So how is it that this position assumed by women of not being “self aware” can attract busters and stave off the desirable guy? Let’s look at the buster. The synonym for buster is predator. Busters look at women with emotional issues, super-ego/attitudes, walls, emotionally unavailable and/or low self-esteem as prey or a challenge. That means that by their very nature they know that your soft exterior or rough exterior, whatever you may have can be broken down by a series of saying and/or doing the things to get past the barriers that have been put up. The same way that the jackal stalks the lioness, many women are throwing so much of their “this is how I am” nature or their “I have low esteem” nature out there that its literally pheromones attracting the jackal who is willing to “play the game” until you break down and give him whatever it is he wants. The buster/predator sees you as a project, a thing to do, a conquest and is willing to engage in the game of “this is me” because he wants to destroy you or at least take the parts that he wants and leave the rest behind.
How does being “self aware” help minimize the attacks from the buster/predator? The same way that the woman that is not self aware can turn her friends off and not care, can rub the right guy the wrong way and say “he wasn’t the one for me” is the same woman that is so far on her own page that she doesn’t see the true intentions of the buster. It is her bullshit ways that have become the bait that the buster uses because they know that given the right “approach” they can and will break her down.
On the total other hand – the mature, progressive, “willing to grow with you” type guy is the one that typically sees the walls, the issues, the unnecessary difficulty, the low-esteem, the inflexibility or brash disposition and would rather not be bothered with all of that. All of what you may ask? All of the posturing, extreme ego, insensitivity, lack of esteem, potential conflict that he will notice very early in interacting with a woman if he himself is “self aware.” Self aware women and self aware men are not predators. They don’t have time to decipher the code of what makes you tick or burst through the proverbial walls that have been erected.
It is the law of attraction – those things that are alike in life are drawn to one another. The predator and the prey are drawn to one another. It is very much like Job 3:25 from the bible “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” Many women, I have to tell you – you are running the desirable guys away with your attitudes, lack of humility, lack of grace, lack of self-anything, lack of femininity (beyond sex appeal) and you are attracting the busters for the same exact reasons. Then those same women are enabling and supporting the behavior of the predators that they are in relationships with and are looking to place the blame on the man. Every person’s first order of priority is to love yourself, you can not look for anyone to love you more than you are willing to love yourself.
Men and women have a lot of complexities in relationships and again, this letter can not and does not address all of them. However, if you are finding that you don’t know where “the good men are” or if you seem to attract predators in your life, it’s possible that you may have the entire male species figured out, so you would like to believe. My question then would be, how much time have you taken to assess your own quirks, idiosyncrasies and ways about you that may drive your friends or a good man to not want to further a relationship with you? How happy are you with your “this is me” attitude or disposition if “good” men and women may not want to be around you while you’re being you. When you look at the woman in the mirror, is that your best self or the person that you’ve resigned yourself to be?
Life should be evolving, it should exhibit growth and I’ve seen and observed far too many women who have tuned out the world so much that the only tune that they hear is their own. The sad part about that is that they’re the only ones willing to play that song because there’s no room for anybody else to join in.
I was raised by wonderful women and she is very strong willed and opinionated. The thing that I love about her the most is that she speak loud and clear, but they also listen in return. She taught me to listen, not only to myself, but to others. That ability to listen is what can allow me to be in a conversation with a woman and be able to detect that the primary tune that she hears is her own, there’s really no place for me in that band.
I would venture to say that given the number of men that I’ve talked to about the state of their relationships that I’m “on to something” with this synopsis. These good guys find themselves on bad dates and undesirable situations with women just the same way women do. Here’s the scary part – the buster/predator guys that are bad dates, really don’t care if they are good to women or not. The buster/predator doesn’t care how you perceive him, if it’s a failed attempt, he’s on to the next victim. The women who are bad dates, you can’t tell them a damn thing!! To say that they are not self-aware is an understatement. The even scarier part is that the dynamics of some (not all, but some) female friendships is that women can’t even keep it real with their girls and let them know how “out of pocket” that their girl is. Or if they do tell her, she’s not listening. Additionally, the women who know that they haven’t taken a good look in the mirror intentionally relay stories (by only telling part of the truth) to their girls to get advice from them that fosters their continuance of their less than desirable behavior.
In the end, it’s not up to a guy, your girls or anybody to police your behavior ladies. In the end it’s you.
Let me take this one step further for the women who do move past the “getting to know you” stage and actually develop a relationship with a “good guy.” The woman who is “self aware” recognizes that once she has started dating a good guy that the journey is not over, it has just begun while the woman that only knows what she likes and dislikes feels like “mission accomplished.” Far too many women equate fidelity with being a “good woman.” That is to say that as long as she’s faithful to her guy she can act in any manner that she wants (including driving a guy crazy for no reason) and as long as she’s faithful she’s a “good woman.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you are not aware of how your moods, outbursts, despondence, “shitty tone”, demands, sometimes insatiable or needy behavior is affecting your man you are not being a “good woman” in his eyes regardless of how faithful you are. This is where it becomes most critical that you are “self aware” because your behavior will push a good guy out the door if you can’t police yourself.
To the women who none of this applies to, congratulations to you. That still doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues to be fleshed out while in the relationship, but at least you’re one step closer to shakin’ the busters and attracting a winner. To the women that want to know where are all of the good men and why does this keep happening to me, when was the last time you took a look at the woman in the mirror. When was the last time you heard and received the positive and progressive advice of the men and women in your life, when was the last time you asked somebody “what. if anything, do you think that I could work on to be the best person I could be for myself and in a relationship?” I would venture to say that women spend an inordinate amount of time griping about how there are no (or only a few) good men out here, but not nearly as much time is spent on being the best that they can be or pointing out issues to their girls. Again, sometimes they do that and their girl “knows so much” that she’s not listening to the good advice being offered.
I’d like to share that denial is a lose/lose scenario for everybody. Its great to love yourself and feel good about who you are and I would never want to insinuate that anyone become less of a person to allow room for somebody else. As men are to be providers and protectors, women are nurturers and sources of comfort. I’m not saying to give your “gifts” of comfort and nurture to everyone. However, allow for others to qualify you as you should qualify them without the “all self-knowing” part of your personality disqualifying you before you even get a chance.
Understand that the notion that the “right guy for you” will love you just as you are, despite your idiosyncrasies, quirks, flaws and attitudes that are a manifestation of “this is how I am” (as opposed to general likes and dislikes) is highly unlikely. What’s a general like or dislike? Basic things like “I don’t like football”, “I would prefer to go to the early church service” as opposed to “this is how I talk, so deal with it”, “this is how I get sometimes” or “I’ve never had to do XYZ for myself, so I won’t worry how to do it now.” Its not that only “strong” women exhibit these attitudes, a passive woman who doesn’t form her own opinion or appears helpless or “whoa is me” at all times can be just as much of a turnoff for the mature man looking for a progressive relationship.
The fairytale, the “Notebook” (refering to the movie) love affair, the myth that any person male or female will totally accept and more importantly, be fulfilled with another person without regard to that person operating in their best self is again, high unlikely. It doesn’t mean that a meaningful relationship can not be had, it more so means that the odds of that relationship being with the “ideal” man that was desired/envisioned is very improbable.
Thesis Statement Ladies: Many women say that they are not settling until they find what they want ideally in a man. However, many of those same women settle on being their lesser selves as a person and potential mate as opposed to finding their best self that would attract the man they feel would be their ideal compliment.
When I speak of settling within yourself I’m not referring to worldly ambition or being “goal oriented.” I am referring to character and the caliber of “feminine esthetic” that makes a man want to be around and partner with a woman. There are many ambitious and accomplished women who develop false-pride (as many men do) and lose a fair amount of humility as they accomplish more and also as they feel better about themselves. Accomplishment and esteem are in direct relationship to humility. The more you “are”, the more you “do”, the more you “have to offer”, the more humble ANY PERSON (man or woman) should become. Far too often women gain a stronger sense of self, attain more “stuff” and lose their humility which in turn may be a turn-off to a good guy. Women deserve to be proud and feel good about what they have done or who they are as women. There is however a huge difference in being proud and remaining humble. The right guy will respect you more and possibly desire you more if your confidence and accomplishments surpass the average man without having the “false pride”, “BIG EGO” (pun intended) and “chip on her shoulder” to go with it.
A quick note to the women who have been hurt by guys in the past, let that burden and frustration go. It is not the next guy’s job to pick up the slack and remove the hurt of your past relationships. Yes, I agree – this is true of men, as well as women – I got you!! Again, we’re talking about women here.
So, let me put a wrap on the letter by saying that of course there is no such thing as perfection. There is an air of compromise, acceptance, patience and tolerance that a relationship will have to endure on both sides. However, there is a growing contingency of women who are not “self aware” and have attitudes, insufferable dispositions/opinions who refuse to make adjustments in any relationships male/female and even with female friends and these individuals can not figure out why they’re unlucky in love. The mirror is only a step away.
I also want to say that if your first response upon reading this is “well about what the guys when they” or “if men didn’t do” or “if men would do”, then basically you’re listening to your own song and missed the entire purpose of the letter. It wouldn’t be surprising if you never heard what anyone said outside of your own voice in your head. The subject of this letter is women’s issues in a particular area, not men’s issues.
Go to the mirror, put your song on mute, take a long look with both eyes open and ask yourself – “am I the only person that likes what I see”, your soul and your environment will provide the answer – only if you are willing to listen.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
PERSONAL/ LETTER: DEAR MRS RIGHT
Dear Mrs. Right,
It's been so many years and I am still waiting for you; did you forget to come get me? May be you lost my address, my email, my phone number??? Hopefully you can google "searching for my future wife/soulmate" and you are able to find my blog, or may be we'll find each other the way I've always dream it..( like that movie Before Sunrise). I know in my heart that day will come.
Well today was one of those days you look at the stars in the sky and they all have a partner star next to each but there is one lonely star shining on the other dark side of the sky. He still shining and he can be notice for the way he shines, for the way he smile and he doesnt know how more he can possibly shine if he only knew.... if he only knew....
But he can figure this out and he feels lost in a big dark sky sorrounded of other stars that dont even notive he is there.... he knows there is a matching star in that big dark place.... it's been a long time traveling, knocking at each door without the right answer and very often he gets hurt, smash but he never stop shining..
I am that little star lost in the sky and you cant see me or find me unless you really pay attention that I am the only shining star without a soulmate to shine next to me.... I've tried every possible choice and even though I havent find you yet I know you still out there and I cant wait for that expected day....
It hurts to meet the wrong Mrs. Right and realize that it was just a dream.... wake up one more time with no one next to me.... wake up with the alarm clock instead of a kiss... wake up with one side of the bed cold instead of warm... but there is not much I can do other than keep waiting, I know you are out there, you gotta be outhere....
I kissed you every day thru my dreams... and I see you coming right to me under a beautiful sunset at the beach.... where I find myself sitting on the sand and my heart can smell you from the far away..... I can feel your presence coming towards me.... waiting for your approach where you hold my hand and I stand up and we kiss.... there are no words in between.... eveything has been dream and you know it... its so perfect I dont need to ask or say it's just happening....
Good night Mrs. Right.... I will see you in a few ... I will see you in my dreams.... and another day is about to beging without the smile of your face, the one you gave me in my dream every single day.... but I will close my eyes where I can imagine more than a face.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
It's been so many years and I am still waiting for you; did you forget to come get me? May be you lost my address, my email, my phone number??? Hopefully you can google "searching for my future wife/soulmate" and you are able to find my blog, or may be we'll find each other the way I've always dream it..( like that movie Before Sunrise). I know in my heart that day will come.
Well today was one of those days you look at the stars in the sky and they all have a partner star next to each but there is one lonely star shining on the other dark side of the sky. He still shining and he can be notice for the way he shines, for the way he smile and he doesnt know how more he can possibly shine if he only knew.... if he only knew....
But he can figure this out and he feels lost in a big dark sky sorrounded of other stars that dont even notive he is there.... he knows there is a matching star in that big dark place.... it's been a long time traveling, knocking at each door without the right answer and very often he gets hurt, smash but he never stop shining..
I am that little star lost in the sky and you cant see me or find me unless you really pay attention that I am the only shining star without a soulmate to shine next to me.... I've tried every possible choice and even though I havent find you yet I know you still out there and I cant wait for that expected day....
It hurts to meet the wrong Mrs. Right and realize that it was just a dream.... wake up one more time with no one next to me.... wake up with the alarm clock instead of a kiss... wake up with one side of the bed cold instead of warm... but there is not much I can do other than keep waiting, I know you are out there, you gotta be outhere....
I kissed you every day thru my dreams... and I see you coming right to me under a beautiful sunset at the beach.... where I find myself sitting on the sand and my heart can smell you from the far away..... I can feel your presence coming towards me.... waiting for your approach where you hold my hand and I stand up and we kiss.... there are no words in between.... eveything has been dream and you know it... its so perfect I dont need to ask or say it's just happening....
Good night Mrs. Right.... I will see you in a few ... I will see you in my dreams.... and another day is about to beging without the smile of your face, the one you gave me in my dream every single day.... but I will close my eyes where I can imagine more than a face.
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR MRS. RIGHT
Dear Mrs. Right,
You probably don't know who I am right now. Maybe you're with your boyfriend or thinking about a crush that you love. You're probably thinking of how happy you will be with that person and planning your future with him right now. I know you don't know me and I don't know you but wherever you are, and whoever you are, I hope one day we can meet. I hope one day you'll see something in me that other have never saw in me. I hope that you are happy with me, and love me unconditionally. I hope that I make you smile and laugh and all the emotions and feelings you wanted to feel but never got the chance to by other guys you've been with. I hope you think about meeting me as much as I think about meeting you. I hope you tell me I'm handsome everyday even when I'm not looking my best. I hope you respect me enough to trust me and not lie. You may wonder when and if you will ever find the right guy, as I wonder the same about you. We may be miles, distances or even continents apart, but I believe in fate and that it will bring us together. I hope we can be together and spend the rest of our lives in happiness. Here's to hoping that I meet you one day, in a couple of months, or even years. If we never get the chance to meet, I hope we walk by each other as complete strangers just so that I know you were somewhere out there.
Love, always and forever,
Mr. Right
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
Monday, August 5, 2013
THOUGHTS: THE TRUTH IS THAT NO ONE REALLY KNOWS ME
i constantly wonder how my life looks in other people’s eyes. do the think i have it easy? do they think i have nothing going on for myself? or are the fascinated with who i am? the thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. no one will ever know the things i’ve had to overcome. not even my closest friends, not even my own family. the thing is that people are so quick to judge now a days. you only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. i always try to look as put together as i can, and i guess that’s my way of hiding from the truth. it’s just that way that everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay. that i never go through anything. if only everyone knew how broken i am, and how i’m holding on for dear life on this one last strand that’s recently become very delicate. the truth is that no one really knows me. no one will ever know me, and sometimes that scares me, because no one will ever know why i am the way i am.
I just somehow need to know that you still think of me from time to time. don’t make this little hope i still have left deep down inside of me buried underneath everything deteriorate as it has enough already throughout the years. just give me a little hint that i somehow inspired you to be the person you are today. a hint that i impacted you and touched your life somehow. a hint to know that i actually mattered in your life once upon a time
I’m not saying that at some point love isn’t staying up until 2am phone calls or stealing kisses when you least expect it, or instantly falling for each other’s favorite songs because it is, or at least that’s what the lead up to it feels like, but real love, is so much more. it’s going out at 12am to get something to eat for your wife who can’t get out of bed, it’s listening to them as they explode with vulnerability on your living room couch talking about how they were only so young when their parents passed on. it’s remembering how someone likes their coffee in the morning without asking - without ever asking, it’s visiting someone in the hospital knowing the last thing you want to do is see them in that condition, it’s wanting to be with that person despite everything, the future, the past, and everything in between, it’s the intimate things that you don’t even realize involve such intimacy, but they do, in secret, like the pinky promises you two made behind your back, to love one another for always, in the time you thought you were in love, when you were actually just on your way to it.
I still miss you, but not like a did before. the intense aching i felt isn’t there anymore. i still whisper your name, though not as often as i used to. now it may be once before the day is through. i still hear your voice replaying in my mind, but it’s fading now. soon, silence i will find. i still long for you, to feel your touch, but it’s not like before. i don’t dream it as much. i still think about you and wonder how you are, but my feelings have changed and they don’t go as far. i still feel you sometimes. maybe you’re thinking of me, or maybe it’s just a little memory of how it used to be. i still love you but it’s just not as strong because i’m letting you go now, so we can both move on. you still have a piece of my heart because i always feel you here. now i’m hoping and praying that that, too, will quickly disappear. this will be my last goodbye, i‘ve nothing else to say. everything i felt for you can now just fade away
Marry your best friend. i do not say that lightly. really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. someone who speaks highly of you. someone you can laugh with. the kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. the embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. it is important. life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too.despair will come. find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. a love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.
I’ve said that when you love someone, its forever. but i was wrong. nothing can last forever. and that’s what you’ve taught me. you’ve taught me that feelings go away. promises can be broken,and love isn’t for everyone. when i met you, i thought that all of my past experiences would go away. but in the end, you brought them back and added more hurt to them. i’ve always thought that there is going to be one man who can treat me right. but there isn’t. there is only little boys who claim that they can. love is a precious thing. and that’s why its so hard to find. that’s why its hard to find someone who can offer their love to you. and when you’ve been hurt, you shut the doors to your heart and stop any form of care and love to go in. now, you’ve brought me every type of hurt imaginable. and i don’t think i will ever love again. but what i know for sure, is that i would forget all of this the very second you tell me you want me back. but for now, i’m just going to live my life as if i don’t care. and i just want you to let you know that even though you have broken my heart. i still love you.
If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. embrace the uncertainty. allow it to lead you places. be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. spin wildly into your next action. enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. and if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. you’ll find your way again.
There comes a point when you just love someone. not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. you just love them. it doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. it doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. it just means you love them.
Every day is an adventure to discovering the meaning of life. it is each little thing that you do everyday, whether it be spending time with your friends, running a cross-country race, orjust simply staring at the crashing ocean waves, that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life. i would rather be out enjoying these simple things than pondering them. we may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.
Maybe that’s just growing up. when you’re young, you tell yourself things like “well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be" as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. i think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. but people are rare perfect unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.
Every now and then, those three little words slip out. no, not “i love you." and no, not "i hate you." but i miss you. and for an instant, i can’t stand myself. because i know you never thought about me half as much as i thought about you. because i can’t stop thinking about you. i can’t get you out of my head - from under my skin
You know what? i’m not fine. i’m anything but fine. i feel invisible and worthless. i’m never first choice and i’m always the ugly friend. my heart stops beating and my brain stops working when i see you. i’m not fine. i’m never just fine.
I used to constantly look for people to replace you. someone to talk to everyday, someone to trust, someone to believe in, someone to love, someone to have the time of my life with. i stopped though. i learned some people really can’t be replaced.
There’s always going to be this one thing you wish for but never get. that one mistake you wish you can erase but can never take back. and most of all, that one memory you would do anything for, just to have it again.
don’t ever let anyone promise you that they will never hurt you because at one time or another, it will happen. the real promise is that the time you spend together will be worth all the pain in the end.
if we break down and began to cry, it can make us feel weak. but the true fact is that breaking down and crying makes us a stronger individual. how is that you ask? because it means that you feel emotions so strong that they completely take your body by storm and cause you to release all the sad, negative energy you have deep inside. think about it, after a good cry you might still feel shitty, but remember that split second after you just finished crying… isn’t it the most amazing, weight lifting feeling in the world?
there are things we easily forget. people we think are easily replaceable. relationships we throw away because we think it’s not worth our time and effort. and then there are those that we cant let go at all, no matter how bad the memories were. we hang on to them because when all is said and done, when people finally left and relationships weaken, memories are all we would ever have.
i used to think when i got older; the world would make so much more sense. but you know what? the older i get, the more confusing it is to me. the more complicated it is to me. you’d think we’d get better at it, but we don’t.
i don’t want people to matter to me too much. sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. ones you love who don’t love you, ones who are dead or hate you, ones who you think about but never get to be with. i like people but when i get too close, it fucks me up and i can’t get shit done.
you don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life, but your own. & when you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re not just messing with that part. unfortunately you can’t be that precise & selective. when you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re messing with their entire life.everything affects everything.
it’s strange how life works. you want something and you wait and wait, and feel like its taking forever to come. then it happens and it’s over, and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.
i’m so tired of dancing around these big words.. i just want to be honest with you. more than anything i want to be honest with you. but, do you think we’re ready for that honesty? because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. are you sure you’re ready for everything that goes along with the truth?
i think the words your stop yourself from saying are the ones that haunt you the longest. so say it to them. or say it to yourself in the mirror, say it in a letter you’ll never send or a book millions might read someday. i think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of voices saying ‘i couldve, but its to late now.’ there is a time for silence, there is a time for waiting your turn. but if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. i don’t think you should wait, i think you should speak now.
you have to get hurt. that’s how you learn. the strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile, those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down, they’re moving on.
i need someone to prove to me that i’m worth it, really worth it to them. maybe all i need is a person who can show me that everyone is not the same. honestly, i thought you were that person but i was wrong. is it too much to ask for someone to take a risk on me, to fight for me, to actually care enough to not let something go; the way i did for you? you never even thanked me. i acted the way i did because i cared. i didn’t realize it then, but i do now. i don’t do that for just anyone. so, call me crazy, but today.. today i realized that i can’t keep waiting for you. i’m moving on, i can’t stay in one place waiting. i can’t be around you anymore. i’m not over it, i don’t get over things fast, i never have, no matter how much i try and convince myself. i’ll see you around sometime. i keep thinking maybe somehow, something will click and everything will go back to the way it was in the beginning. maybe we could go back to that, but too much has been said and done. so, maybe you’ll get one more chance from me, maybe you won’t.
it’s a pain that you can’t fix. it’s not like an insecurity on your face, or your body that you can get rid of with surgery. it’s not like a broken heart from a boy. but it’s a hole in my heart that will be forever empty, because of two people who didn’t really love each other, but pretended to. and although i hide it, it kills me. every second of every day. i can’t push it to the back of my mind like i used to. my smiles aren’t fake. i’m happy. but i’m not okay.
i think i’ve finally come to the point in my life where i’m happy with myself and know that i don’t have to change or be a certain way for people to like me anymore. i’m just fine and if someone doesn’t think i am, screw them.
i love that moment. when you’re on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. and youcompletely zone out. you forget your troubles, and everyone around you. you’re focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. you’re content, and everything seems peaceful.
all that i ever wanted was to be worth something, worth something to someone, worth their time, their energy,love, their money, worth someone’s everything.
did you ever notice that there is always that particular line in that certain song that stands out in a certain way and reminds you of that one person you can’t seem to forget?
i think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough. we waste too much time putting ourselves down, that we don’t ever stop to see that we are good enough. we spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.
you know you’re in love when all you can think about is that one special person and you can’t stand to be away from them for more than one second. you miss them even though they’re standing right next to you. you fall asleep thinking about them, and dream about them every night.
Do you know why she chooses to stay with the guy who hurt her? cause despite that, he knows how to make her happy. there may be cuter guys out there, but she doesn’t care about that cause to her, nobody can compare. he does more right things than wrong so she stays with him for all the right things he’s done and not leave him for that one mistake. and she knows no matter who she ends up with, they’re gonna fight regardless and she would rather deal with no one else, but him
we lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else. we lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. it is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stupid to let go.
at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. so this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. so we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. and sure, sometimes close can be too close. but sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
there is no perfect relationship. bullshit will come up when you least expect it. jealousy will come out of nowhere. at times you will feel replaced and at times you will feel like giving up. just don’t go that far. don’t give up. you’ll argue, and you won’t talk for days, but nobody says it has to be over.
in time, we’ll realize that there are people who are unworthy of our sacrifices. we just have to forget them, just like the way they ignored our efforts.
i will never understand why i ended up this way or what the reason was for. i’ll never understand why this world is so fucked up and barely anyone cares. i’ll never understand alot of things, like why people lie, cheat, and steal. why they are rude, mean, bitchy, horrible, and inconsiderate. i’ll never understand how pain never goes away. i’ll never understand love or hate. i’ll never understand life.
everything will be okay. think about what happened a year ago today. you probably can’t even remember. everything that seems important now won’t be anymore. things find a way of working themselves out. things aren’t as impossible as they seem. don’t think about how broken your heart is right now, don’t think about how things won’t work and how hard everything seems to always be. you have two moving feet and a heart that beats. use your feet and go find someone or something to make your heart happy. whatever happens is what is what is supposed to happen. maybe it won’t always work out, i can’t promise you that it will. but there is no reason to believe you won’t be okay. there is no reason to believe everything won’t work out.
it wasn’t that long, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of kiss you see in the movies these days. but it was wonderful in its own way. and all i can remember about the moment is that when our lips first touched, i knew the memory would last forever.
i wear my heart on my sleeve, but i’m not naive. i know what it feels like to be completely broken and i’m all too familiar with what it feels like to hurt. i know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. i’ve been taken advantage of and used. my feelings have been completely disregarded, but i still believe all people are good at heart, and my trust has not diminished. to be honest, i hope it never does
i miss that feeling when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. it’s the feeling that everything is alright in the world. you know, that amazing feeling when you’re whole, that you’ve got everything you want, that you aren’t missing anything. sometimes when
i wake up, i get it for a moment. it lasts a few seconds, but then i remember what happened, and how nothing has been the same since.
"i love you." don’t say that. just don’t. because i’ll believe it. we’ll say all these cute things to each other, and i’ll go to bed smiling every night. we’ll have those “i love you more" fights. and then one day you’ll wake up, and decide that you don’t love me anymore; just like that, and take it all back
everyone has a certain part in their lives where they truly wish they could just freeze time. whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come. whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer .everyone has a time in their life when they wish everything would just stop. the world would stop turning and people would stop changing because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.
sometimes i wonder if i’m too young or too inexperienced with relationships to know whatbeing in love is like. then, i hear your voice orsee your face and i fall in love all over again.perhapsi’m lucky to love so strong at an early age.don’t forget the songs that made you cry,or the ones that saved your life.
i see right through you, whether you believe it or not. i see the games and i definitely can feel the bullshit. i believe that you do care about me, and i think that you think you care about me more than you actually do. i think you’re tricking yourself into wanting me, because why’d it take so long? i might’ve changed, and i might not be the girl that you used to want, but apparently that isn’t stopping you. you saw a different side to me a year ago, but that side, i’m afraid to say, is gone. i’m not blaming this on you, i’m blaming it on myself, because i let you in. i didn’t know any better, and that’s my fault. but i’m okay now. i’m okay with saying ‘no, lets just be friends’ even though a part of me wishes you would have said all this two weeks ago, nothing is going to change. i don’t want it to change. i like how it is now
people are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. people talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. love hurts. feelings are disturbing. people are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. how can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? pain is meant to wake us up. people try to hide their pain. but they’re wrong. pain is something to carry, like a radio. you feel your strength in the experience of pain. it’s all in how you carry it. that’s what matters. pain is a feeling. your feelings are a part of you. your own reality. if you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. you should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
it’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. you can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. but you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. yes, you will make mistakes. and yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. knowing that things were meant to happen. knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. so grab hold of it.
before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times. once, you must fall in love with your best friend ruining your friendship forever. this will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. once you must fall in love you believe is perfect. you will learn that no one is perfect and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. and once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. this will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. and when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. but most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved
do you ever wonder? i mean about us, what happened? it was almost like our relationship was a piece of paper crumbled up and thrown away; forgotten. what might have happened if wedidn’t throw it away? maybe we would still be together or maybe not. or maybe secretly we haven’t thrown it away yet. we’re saving it because we’re hoping someday we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. or maybe it’s not even that we want it back, maybe it’s that we don’t want to lose what we had but at the same time, we know it’s already lost. i wonder that a lot and i wonder if you wonder sometimes too
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
I just somehow need to know that you still think of me from time to time. don’t make this little hope i still have left deep down inside of me buried underneath everything deteriorate as it has enough already throughout the years. just give me a little hint that i somehow inspired you to be the person you are today. a hint that i impacted you and touched your life somehow. a hint to know that i actually mattered in your life once upon a time
I’m not saying that at some point love isn’t staying up until 2am phone calls or stealing kisses when you least expect it, or instantly falling for each other’s favorite songs because it is, or at least that’s what the lead up to it feels like, but real love, is so much more. it’s going out at 12am to get something to eat for your wife who can’t get out of bed, it’s listening to them as they explode with vulnerability on your living room couch talking about how they were only so young when their parents passed on. it’s remembering how someone likes their coffee in the morning without asking - without ever asking, it’s visiting someone in the hospital knowing the last thing you want to do is see them in that condition, it’s wanting to be with that person despite everything, the future, the past, and everything in between, it’s the intimate things that you don’t even realize involve such intimacy, but they do, in secret, like the pinky promises you two made behind your back, to love one another for always, in the time you thought you were in love, when you were actually just on your way to it.
I still miss you, but not like a did before. the intense aching i felt isn’t there anymore. i still whisper your name, though not as often as i used to. now it may be once before the day is through. i still hear your voice replaying in my mind, but it’s fading now. soon, silence i will find. i still long for you, to feel your touch, but it’s not like before. i don’t dream it as much. i still think about you and wonder how you are, but my feelings have changed and they don’t go as far. i still feel you sometimes. maybe you’re thinking of me, or maybe it’s just a little memory of how it used to be. i still love you but it’s just not as strong because i’m letting you go now, so we can both move on. you still have a piece of my heart because i always feel you here. now i’m hoping and praying that that, too, will quickly disappear. this will be my last goodbye, i‘ve nothing else to say. everything i felt for you can now just fade away
Marry your best friend. i do not say that lightly. really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. someone who speaks highly of you. someone you can laugh with. the kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. the embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. it is important. life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too.despair will come. find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. a love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.
I’ve said that when you love someone, its forever. but i was wrong. nothing can last forever. and that’s what you’ve taught me. you’ve taught me that feelings go away. promises can be broken,and love isn’t for everyone. when i met you, i thought that all of my past experiences would go away. but in the end, you brought them back and added more hurt to them. i’ve always thought that there is going to be one man who can treat me right. but there isn’t. there is only little boys who claim that they can. love is a precious thing. and that’s why its so hard to find. that’s why its hard to find someone who can offer their love to you. and when you’ve been hurt, you shut the doors to your heart and stop any form of care and love to go in. now, you’ve brought me every type of hurt imaginable. and i don’t think i will ever love again. but what i know for sure, is that i would forget all of this the very second you tell me you want me back. but for now, i’m just going to live my life as if i don’t care. and i just want you to let you know that even though you have broken my heart. i still love you.
If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. embrace the uncertainty. allow it to lead you places. be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. spin wildly into your next action. enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. and if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. you’ll find your way again.
There comes a point when you just love someone. not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. you just love them. it doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. it doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. it just means you love them.
Every day is an adventure to discovering the meaning of life. it is each little thing that you do everyday, whether it be spending time with your friends, running a cross-country race, orjust simply staring at the crashing ocean waves, that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life. i would rather be out enjoying these simple things than pondering them. we may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.
Maybe that’s just growing up. when you’re young, you tell yourself things like “well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be" as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. i think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. but people are rare perfect unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.
Every now and then, those three little words slip out. no, not “i love you." and no, not "i hate you." but i miss you. and for an instant, i can’t stand myself. because i know you never thought about me half as much as i thought about you. because i can’t stop thinking about you. i can’t get you out of my head - from under my skin
You know what? i’m not fine. i’m anything but fine. i feel invisible and worthless. i’m never first choice and i’m always the ugly friend. my heart stops beating and my brain stops working when i see you. i’m not fine. i’m never just fine.
I used to constantly look for people to replace you. someone to talk to everyday, someone to trust, someone to believe in, someone to love, someone to have the time of my life with. i stopped though. i learned some people really can’t be replaced.
There’s always going to be this one thing you wish for but never get. that one mistake you wish you can erase but can never take back. and most of all, that one memory you would do anything for, just to have it again.
don’t ever let anyone promise you that they will never hurt you because at one time or another, it will happen. the real promise is that the time you spend together will be worth all the pain in the end.
if we break down and began to cry, it can make us feel weak. but the true fact is that breaking down and crying makes us a stronger individual. how is that you ask? because it means that you feel emotions so strong that they completely take your body by storm and cause you to release all the sad, negative energy you have deep inside. think about it, after a good cry you might still feel shitty, but remember that split second after you just finished crying… isn’t it the most amazing, weight lifting feeling in the world?
there are things we easily forget. people we think are easily replaceable. relationships we throw away because we think it’s not worth our time and effort. and then there are those that we cant let go at all, no matter how bad the memories were. we hang on to them because when all is said and done, when people finally left and relationships weaken, memories are all we would ever have.
i used to think when i got older; the world would make so much more sense. but you know what? the older i get, the more confusing it is to me. the more complicated it is to me. you’d think we’d get better at it, but we don’t.
i don’t want people to matter to me too much. sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. ones you love who don’t love you, ones who are dead or hate you, ones who you think about but never get to be with. i like people but when i get too close, it fucks me up and i can’t get shit done.
you don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life, but your own. & when you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re not just messing with that part. unfortunately you can’t be that precise & selective. when you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re messing with their entire life.everything affects everything.
it’s strange how life works. you want something and you wait and wait, and feel like its taking forever to come. then it happens and it’s over, and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.
i’m so tired of dancing around these big words.. i just want to be honest with you. more than anything i want to be honest with you. but, do you think we’re ready for that honesty? because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. are you sure you’re ready for everything that goes along with the truth?
i think the words your stop yourself from saying are the ones that haunt you the longest. so say it to them. or say it to yourself in the mirror, say it in a letter you’ll never send or a book millions might read someday. i think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of voices saying ‘i couldve, but its to late now.’ there is a time for silence, there is a time for waiting your turn. but if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. i don’t think you should wait, i think you should speak now.
you have to get hurt. that’s how you learn. the strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile, those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down, they’re moving on.
i need someone to prove to me that i’m worth it, really worth it to them. maybe all i need is a person who can show me that everyone is not the same. honestly, i thought you were that person but i was wrong. is it too much to ask for someone to take a risk on me, to fight for me, to actually care enough to not let something go; the way i did for you? you never even thanked me. i acted the way i did because i cared. i didn’t realize it then, but i do now. i don’t do that for just anyone. so, call me crazy, but today.. today i realized that i can’t keep waiting for you. i’m moving on, i can’t stay in one place waiting. i can’t be around you anymore. i’m not over it, i don’t get over things fast, i never have, no matter how much i try and convince myself. i’ll see you around sometime. i keep thinking maybe somehow, something will click and everything will go back to the way it was in the beginning. maybe we could go back to that, but too much has been said and done. so, maybe you’ll get one more chance from me, maybe you won’t.
it’s a pain that you can’t fix. it’s not like an insecurity on your face, or your body that you can get rid of with surgery. it’s not like a broken heart from a boy. but it’s a hole in my heart that will be forever empty, because of two people who didn’t really love each other, but pretended to. and although i hide it, it kills me. every second of every day. i can’t push it to the back of my mind like i used to. my smiles aren’t fake. i’m happy. but i’m not okay.
i think i’ve finally come to the point in my life where i’m happy with myself and know that i don’t have to change or be a certain way for people to like me anymore. i’m just fine and if someone doesn’t think i am, screw them.
i love that moment. when you’re on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. and youcompletely zone out. you forget your troubles, and everyone around you. you’re focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. you’re content, and everything seems peaceful.
all that i ever wanted was to be worth something, worth something to someone, worth their time, their energy,love, their money, worth someone’s everything.
did you ever notice that there is always that particular line in that certain song that stands out in a certain way and reminds you of that one person you can’t seem to forget?
i think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough. we waste too much time putting ourselves down, that we don’t ever stop to see that we are good enough. we spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.
you know you’re in love when all you can think about is that one special person and you can’t stand to be away from them for more than one second. you miss them even though they’re standing right next to you. you fall asleep thinking about them, and dream about them every night.
Do you know why she chooses to stay with the guy who hurt her? cause despite that, he knows how to make her happy. there may be cuter guys out there, but she doesn’t care about that cause to her, nobody can compare. he does more right things than wrong so she stays with him for all the right things he’s done and not leave him for that one mistake. and she knows no matter who she ends up with, they’re gonna fight regardless and she would rather deal with no one else, but him
we lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else. we lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. it is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stupid to let go.
at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. so this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. so we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. and sure, sometimes close can be too close. but sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
there is no perfect relationship. bullshit will come up when you least expect it. jealousy will come out of nowhere. at times you will feel replaced and at times you will feel like giving up. just don’t go that far. don’t give up. you’ll argue, and you won’t talk for days, but nobody says it has to be over.
in time, we’ll realize that there are people who are unworthy of our sacrifices. we just have to forget them, just like the way they ignored our efforts.
i will never understand why i ended up this way or what the reason was for. i’ll never understand why this world is so fucked up and barely anyone cares. i’ll never understand alot of things, like why people lie, cheat, and steal. why they are rude, mean, bitchy, horrible, and inconsiderate. i’ll never understand how pain never goes away. i’ll never understand love or hate. i’ll never understand life.
everything will be okay. think about what happened a year ago today. you probably can’t even remember. everything that seems important now won’t be anymore. things find a way of working themselves out. things aren’t as impossible as they seem. don’t think about how broken your heart is right now, don’t think about how things won’t work and how hard everything seems to always be. you have two moving feet and a heart that beats. use your feet and go find someone or something to make your heart happy. whatever happens is what is what is supposed to happen. maybe it won’t always work out, i can’t promise you that it will. but there is no reason to believe you won’t be okay. there is no reason to believe everything won’t work out.
it wasn’t that long, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of kiss you see in the movies these days. but it was wonderful in its own way. and all i can remember about the moment is that when our lips first touched, i knew the memory would last forever.
i wear my heart on my sleeve, but i’m not naive. i know what it feels like to be completely broken and i’m all too familiar with what it feels like to hurt. i know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. i’ve been taken advantage of and used. my feelings have been completely disregarded, but i still believe all people are good at heart, and my trust has not diminished. to be honest, i hope it never does
i miss that feeling when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. it’s the feeling that everything is alright in the world. you know, that amazing feeling when you’re whole, that you’ve got everything you want, that you aren’t missing anything. sometimes when
i wake up, i get it for a moment. it lasts a few seconds, but then i remember what happened, and how nothing has been the same since.
"i love you." don’t say that. just don’t. because i’ll believe it. we’ll say all these cute things to each other, and i’ll go to bed smiling every night. we’ll have those “i love you more" fights. and then one day you’ll wake up, and decide that you don’t love me anymore; just like that, and take it all back
everyone has a certain part in their lives where they truly wish they could just freeze time. whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come. whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer .everyone has a time in their life when they wish everything would just stop. the world would stop turning and people would stop changing because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.
sometimes i wonder if i’m too young or too inexperienced with relationships to know whatbeing in love is like. then, i hear your voice orsee your face and i fall in love all over again.perhapsi’m lucky to love so strong at an early age.don’t forget the songs that made you cry,or the ones that saved your life.
i see right through you, whether you believe it or not. i see the games and i definitely can feel the bullshit. i believe that you do care about me, and i think that you think you care about me more than you actually do. i think you’re tricking yourself into wanting me, because why’d it take so long? i might’ve changed, and i might not be the girl that you used to want, but apparently that isn’t stopping you. you saw a different side to me a year ago, but that side, i’m afraid to say, is gone. i’m not blaming this on you, i’m blaming it on myself, because i let you in. i didn’t know any better, and that’s my fault. but i’m okay now. i’m okay with saying ‘no, lets just be friends’ even though a part of me wishes you would have said all this two weeks ago, nothing is going to change. i don’t want it to change. i like how it is now
people are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. people talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. love hurts. feelings are disturbing. people are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. how can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? pain is meant to wake us up. people try to hide their pain. but they’re wrong. pain is something to carry, like a radio. you feel your strength in the experience of pain. it’s all in how you carry it. that’s what matters. pain is a feeling. your feelings are a part of you. your own reality. if you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. you should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
it’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. you can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. but you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. yes, you will make mistakes. and yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. knowing that things were meant to happen. knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. so grab hold of it.
before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times. once, you must fall in love with your best friend ruining your friendship forever. this will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. once you must fall in love you believe is perfect. you will learn that no one is perfect and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. and once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. this will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. and when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. but most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved
do you ever wonder? i mean about us, what happened? it was almost like our relationship was a piece of paper crumbled up and thrown away; forgotten. what might have happened if wedidn’t throw it away? maybe we would still be together or maybe not. or maybe secretly we haven’t thrown it away yet. we’re saving it because we’re hoping someday we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. or maybe it’s not even that we want it back, maybe it’s that we don’t want to lose what we had but at the same time, we know it’s already lost. i wonder that a lot and i wonder if you wonder sometimes too
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
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