Saturday, March 23, 2013
SPIRITUAL: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND IMPERMANENCE
Why are we in the bodies we are in, Why aren't I you and why aren't you me. Ever asked yourself the following questions, "Why is that person born into royal family when I am but a lowly peasant". It's impossible to understand the nature of the soul if you don't contemplate such a question. You could've been anyone, But you're you.
An invention is never created using logic, But it always falls into the structure of logic - Albert Einstein
One rule of thumb in Law of Attraction is that in 5 years your income will be the average of your 5 closest friends. If you surround yourself with people who have what you want, you will begin to obtain what you want. And you don't even need to believe in Law of Attraction, all you need to believe is that 90% of your learning is unconscious, you adapt to the habits of the people you see the most, so if you surround yourself with good examples you will slowly learn to do what they do, without even realizing it.
I'm still failing to capture the philosophy, please bear with me. I can identify that the person I was 5 years ago had certain wants and goals, as well as certain fears. All of these things transpired, and I realize that the things weren't what made me happy, the desire for those things did. Because the experiences themselves all had to end, amazing as they were. Even using the Law of Attraction to attract possessions, you'll still lose those possessions when you die.
Once you understand impermanence, then you can really start to use Law of Attraction to your advantage, because you can realize all your problems will go away 5-10 years down the line. By that time, if you choose to subscribe to the belief in Law of Attraction, you can choose to know that you will have gotten everything you want. It's not that difficult to stay positive when you go ahead and remove the pressure of wanting everything right now. You can just know you'll get it, and enjoy the inevitable ride to that place. You can see through your current tribulations knowing that they're temporary and imagining yourself however many years in the future you have to imagine to put yourself in the mindset where all your problems are over.
Then, on top of that, you can know that despite the fact that you'll get everything you wanted eventually, you can't keep any of those things or experiences. But you put up a big fuss right now because you feel the lack of those things. And yet you can't keep them anyways, and it's not like anything will really change after you experience or have them. You won't get to just turn on happy for the rest of your life, at least not if your happiness is dependent on things.
Then you realize the secret to life is to just be happy for no reason. Whether or not you should strive for action, all your actions can do is bring about some temporary satisfaction which will wane eventually. There isn't anything in particular to accomplish to give your life meaning. And that, in a nutshell, is absurdism. No meaning, no point, nothing left to get upset about, nothing left to feel the lack of. Because it's all just a ride and every single person's ride ends the same way. I'm not saying I don't do stuff at all except bask in happiness for the point of itself. It's really taught me to simply pursue things I enjoy doing, and once you get in that mindset suddenly things that should seem like work are not anymore, you can find joy in nearly everything. Even if the task at hand just bitterly sucks, you can still tap into a peaceful state of acceptance rather than add on frustration to an already frustrating predicament.
There are still actions to perform, one does not practice Law of Attraction in order to get something without doing anything. If you use Law of Attraction to get a girlfriend, you might find lots and lots of girls around that want your dick but you still have to talk to them and you're not saved any of the turbulence that comes from a relationship. If you want a good job, you may get great job offers and opportunities all around you but you still have to turn in the resume and do the duties required by that job. Some jobs require work, and while the Law of Attraction can keep the work flowing the work won't do itself.
But keeping a positive attitude makes it so it doesn't seem like work. As they say, do what you love and you won't work a day in your life. This positive attitude works like a snowball, and it builds up until you're excited to get up every morning just to cook breakfast for your shitty kids because it simply feels good to be alive. Things that used to suck no longer do.
People like soulmates because they remove fear from the relationship. Because if you're soulmates, you're meant to be, so there's no way to fuck things up. But I like fear. It's there for a reason.
An invention is never created using logic, But it always falls into the structure of logic - Albert Einstein
One rule of thumb in Law of Attraction is that in 5 years your income will be the average of your 5 closest friends. If you surround yourself with people who have what you want, you will begin to obtain what you want. And you don't even need to believe in Law of Attraction, all you need to believe is that 90% of your learning is unconscious, you adapt to the habits of the people you see the most, so if you surround yourself with good examples you will slowly learn to do what they do, without even realizing it.
I'm still failing to capture the philosophy, please bear with me. I can identify that the person I was 5 years ago had certain wants and goals, as well as certain fears. All of these things transpired, and I realize that the things weren't what made me happy, the desire for those things did. Because the experiences themselves all had to end, amazing as they were. Even using the Law of Attraction to attract possessions, you'll still lose those possessions when you die.
Once you understand impermanence, then you can really start to use Law of Attraction to your advantage, because you can realize all your problems will go away 5-10 years down the line. By that time, if you choose to subscribe to the belief in Law of Attraction, you can choose to know that you will have gotten everything you want. It's not that difficult to stay positive when you go ahead and remove the pressure of wanting everything right now. You can just know you'll get it, and enjoy the inevitable ride to that place. You can see through your current tribulations knowing that they're temporary and imagining yourself however many years in the future you have to imagine to put yourself in the mindset where all your problems are over.
Then, on top of that, you can know that despite the fact that you'll get everything you wanted eventually, you can't keep any of those things or experiences. But you put up a big fuss right now because you feel the lack of those things. And yet you can't keep them anyways, and it's not like anything will really change after you experience or have them. You won't get to just turn on happy for the rest of your life, at least not if your happiness is dependent on things.
Then you realize the secret to life is to just be happy for no reason. Whether or not you should strive for action, all your actions can do is bring about some temporary satisfaction which will wane eventually. There isn't anything in particular to accomplish to give your life meaning. And that, in a nutshell, is absurdism. No meaning, no point, nothing left to get upset about, nothing left to feel the lack of. Because it's all just a ride and every single person's ride ends the same way. I'm not saying I don't do stuff at all except bask in happiness for the point of itself. It's really taught me to simply pursue things I enjoy doing, and once you get in that mindset suddenly things that should seem like work are not anymore, you can find joy in nearly everything. Even if the task at hand just bitterly sucks, you can still tap into a peaceful state of acceptance rather than add on frustration to an already frustrating predicament.
There are still actions to perform, one does not practice Law of Attraction in order to get something without doing anything. If you use Law of Attraction to get a girlfriend, you might find lots and lots of girls around that want your dick but you still have to talk to them and you're not saved any of the turbulence that comes from a relationship. If you want a good job, you may get great job offers and opportunities all around you but you still have to turn in the resume and do the duties required by that job. Some jobs require work, and while the Law of Attraction can keep the work flowing the work won't do itself.
But keeping a positive attitude makes it so it doesn't seem like work. As they say, do what you love and you won't work a day in your life. This positive attitude works like a snowball, and it builds up until you're excited to get up every morning just to cook breakfast for your shitty kids because it simply feels good to be alive. Things that used to suck no longer do.
People like soulmates because they remove fear from the relationship. Because if you're soulmates, you're meant to be, so there's no way to fuck things up. But I like fear. It's there for a reason.
Dear Soulmate
Dear Soumate,
Where the fuck are you? Seriously, wtf are you doing? I visit all the local bars and hots spots every week or so and you never show up. I've asked all my friends and family and they haven't seen you. I've searched online and in the news paper but you're no where to be found. I've gone out and obtained a good job and became a doctor. I've learned to cook and clean and be a handy man. I've made a good home that we can some day raise kids in. I've tried to learn as much as I can to be the smart, intelligent person you've been looking for but you still haven't called. I know, women's fashions, computers and I'm a really good listener, I swear - I watch Oxygen just to test myself by listening and repeating the dialogue of whatever show happens to be on. I can carry a months worth of groceries from the car to the kitchen in one trip. I can make it through an entire clothes shopping trip without complaining and we don't even have to try on lingerie. I've stopped watching porn because it is disrespectful to women (okay thats a lie, but I really did try - that is a lie too but I thought about it). I'm pretty good about saving money. I love to go on trips, especially cruises. I love the beach, although long walks kinda suck because sand is a bitch to walk in. So if you're out there I could really use a sign just to keep my hopes up. Something simple and subtle like a rose petal on my front porch or you lying naked in my bed.
Sincerly,
Where the fuck are you? Seriously, wtf are you doing? I visit all the local bars and hots spots every week or so and you never show up. I've asked all my friends and family and they haven't seen you. I've searched online and in the news paper but you're no where to be found. I've gone out and obtained a good job and became a doctor. I've learned to cook and clean and be a handy man. I've made a good home that we can some day raise kids in. I've tried to learn as much as I can to be the smart, intelligent person you've been looking for but you still haven't called. I know, women's fashions, computers and I'm a really good listener, I swear - I watch Oxygen just to test myself by listening and repeating the dialogue of whatever show happens to be on. I can carry a months worth of groceries from the car to the kitchen in one trip. I can make it through an entire clothes shopping trip without complaining and we don't even have to try on lingerie. I've stopped watching porn because it is disrespectful to women (okay thats a lie, but I really did try - that is a lie too but I thought about it). I'm pretty good about saving money. I love to go on trips, especially cruises. I love the beach, although long walks kinda suck because sand is a bitch to walk in. So if you're out there I could really use a sign just to keep my hopes up. Something simple and subtle like a rose petal on my front porch or you lying naked in my bed.
Sincerly,
POETRY: SOMETIMES I FEEL YOU
I am the prelude to a tender kiss
The cadence of your heart's beat
The shallow breath of your soul
The illumination where darkness dwells
I am the melanin of your skin
The celestial innovator of love within
The laughter of inhibitions free
The clarity inbred in life's mysteries
I am the echo of your sorrow's cry
The lingering essence of days gone by
The breeze that has tasted your tears
The mellow vibes that dissolve your fears
I am the massive layers lifted
Restlessness soothed
A peaceful rendition of unsung grooves
That sway to the spirited rhythm of the wind
I am yours...
2
In the pale blue light
You are there, illuminated
In late evening warmth
A fresh glow from
your softness
In fragility of the
lateness, starlit sky
In that blue irradiance
Your darkness is
compelling, dreamy
In thoughtful play
under the sky's caring
watch
A sweetness in your touching,
loving
In fragility of needing
in that calming blueness,
stillness
Your loving is complete,
surrendering to my
thoughts
My desires, needs-
to play in dreams
A wholeness, a freshness
in your fulfilling
sensuality
In fragility of love
3
Sometimes I feel you,
All around me,
EVERYWHERE.
Your warmth touches me,
reaches within,
to the depths of my swollen soul.
I look around;
Your presence is so strong.
My heart is so open to be hurt.
I look again hoping to turn,
and see your eyes looking into my own.
But I am left alone
with just the wind...
blowing through my hair;
Playing jokes on my heart.
You aren't here anymore.
4
Ever since the day I met you,
I could see your beauty
Trapped within your heart,
Because no man did his duty.
No man has showed you,
Just how much a woman's worth.
You should've been treated as a queen
Since the blessing of your birth.
They've taken you for granted,
Hurting you deep inside.
They never cared if what they did
Made you start to cry.
They didn't show respect
For the beauty inside of you,
And made you think less of yourself
Than you ever used to.
They didn't understand
The pain within your heart.
Oh, how much you must have hurt,
While you're soul was torn apart.
But I've seen that pain,
And I share the tears you cry.
I've been there just like you,
When you really just want to die.
I've looked into your eyes,
And seen inside your soul.
I've seen such beauty there,
Within the things it holds.
I know how wonderful you are,
And I can't wish for anything more
Than just to hold you in my arms,
And stop our hearts from being sore.
You'll never have to worry
About having your heart scarred again.
I'd never hurt you like that;
I've seen that horrible pain.
I'll treat you like the queen
That I know you are inside.
Never will you hurt;
Sad tears you'll never cry.
I'll commit myself to you,
As you've never seen before,
Because I'm a real man,
And I could not ask for more.
It would be the biggest honor
To be able to feel your love,
To hold you close to me,
What more could I dream of?
5
Because of you
I can no longer sleep
Because of you
I can no longer think straight
Because of you
I cannot stop smiling
Because of you
I can't catch my breath
Because of you
My heart will keep beating
Because of you
All of my sad days are gone
Because of you
There will be no more tears
Because of you
There will be no pain
Because of you
I will live on
Because of you
I know the passion of a kiss
Because of you
I know the tenderness of a touch
Because of you
I know the feeling of a caress
Because of you
I know the meaning of love
Because of you
I understand the meaning of always and forever
Because of you.
6
I tread the golden paths
with thoughts of you in mind
I walk through the fields
with footprints left behind
Rivers of tears
flowing down my cheeks
This concrete joy
you make me feel
I look at the clouds
and you're ascending high
I lay down my heard
and you juggle my thoughts
Our souls entwined
and grounded in peace
As our heartbeats
became synchronized
I peep through the window
and see sparkles in your eyes
I listen to the wall
and heard your giggles and smiles
Your words and dreams
still gladden my heart
Our destiny revealed
is so indelible in my mind
7
Lace and rose flowers
Delicately covering your soul
A thin veil of perfection
Gateway to your dreams
Beautiful in their woven fabric
Nature's weave, in softness
Lace and passion
Floral fantasy, unraveling
Peeling back the fabric
Fragrance in frail flowers
Revealing longing need
Nature's weave, removed
Lace and fulfillment
Frantic movements, abandon
Life receiving, giving
Breathing in the fragrance
Of roses and love
Fantasy and togetherness
Lace and comfort
Pulling back the fabric
Lying as one
Beneath fragile beauty
Flowers and the fine weave
A final embrace
8
Before I met you, I never knew how much pleasure could be derived
from the simple things in life
You have restored in me strength, joyfullness, and a love for all
I realize that we both will be forced to sacrifice for each other
as well as the other vital parts of our lives
But for you my darling, I am willing to make that sacrifice
And if someday we must part, I will not grieve
For I will know that we shared something precious, that should
be cherished and treasured for the happiness it provided
and not the sorrow it left behind...
9
I lie beside you,
Watching you while you sleep,
Watching your silent face,
Wanting to kiss your solemn lips,
Wanting to wake you and tell you,
I have always loved you,
Wondering if you feel the same way too.
I lie beside you now,
Knowing you love me,
Knowing you care.
Fearing the day you will leave me,
Fearing the day you won't care.
I will lie beside you forever,
In your dreams,
And during the night,
Knowing that you will be here,
Lying beside me.
The cadence of your heart's beat
The shallow breath of your soul
The illumination where darkness dwells
I am the melanin of your skin
The celestial innovator of love within
The laughter of inhibitions free
The clarity inbred in life's mysteries
I am the echo of your sorrow's cry
The lingering essence of days gone by
The breeze that has tasted your tears
The mellow vibes that dissolve your fears
I am the massive layers lifted
Restlessness soothed
A peaceful rendition of unsung grooves
That sway to the spirited rhythm of the wind
I am yours...
2
In the pale blue light
You are there, illuminated
In late evening warmth
A fresh glow from
your softness
In fragility of the
lateness, starlit sky
In that blue irradiance
Your darkness is
compelling, dreamy
In thoughtful play
under the sky's caring
watch
A sweetness in your touching,
loving
In fragility of needing
in that calming blueness,
stillness
Your loving is complete,
surrendering to my
thoughts
My desires, needs-
to play in dreams
A wholeness, a freshness
in your fulfilling
sensuality
In fragility of love
3
Sometimes I feel you,
All around me,
EVERYWHERE.
Your warmth touches me,
reaches within,
to the depths of my swollen soul.
I look around;
Your presence is so strong.
My heart is so open to be hurt.
I look again hoping to turn,
and see your eyes looking into my own.
But I am left alone
with just the wind...
blowing through my hair;
Playing jokes on my heart.
You aren't here anymore.
4
Ever since the day I met you,
I could see your beauty
Trapped within your heart,
Because no man did his duty.
No man has showed you,
Just how much a woman's worth.
You should've been treated as a queen
Since the blessing of your birth.
They've taken you for granted,
Hurting you deep inside.
They never cared if what they did
Made you start to cry.
They didn't show respect
For the beauty inside of you,
And made you think less of yourself
Than you ever used to.
They didn't understand
The pain within your heart.
Oh, how much you must have hurt,
While you're soul was torn apart.
But I've seen that pain,
And I share the tears you cry.
I've been there just like you,
When you really just want to die.
I've looked into your eyes,
And seen inside your soul.
I've seen such beauty there,
Within the things it holds.
I know how wonderful you are,
And I can't wish for anything more
Than just to hold you in my arms,
And stop our hearts from being sore.
You'll never have to worry
About having your heart scarred again.
I'd never hurt you like that;
I've seen that horrible pain.
I'll treat you like the queen
That I know you are inside.
Never will you hurt;
Sad tears you'll never cry.
I'll commit myself to you,
As you've never seen before,
Because I'm a real man,
And I could not ask for more.
It would be the biggest honor
To be able to feel your love,
To hold you close to me,
What more could I dream of?
5
Because of you
I can no longer sleep
Because of you
I can no longer think straight
Because of you
I cannot stop smiling
Because of you
I can't catch my breath
Because of you
My heart will keep beating
Because of you
All of my sad days are gone
Because of you
There will be no more tears
Because of you
There will be no pain
Because of you
I will live on
Because of you
I know the passion of a kiss
Because of you
I know the tenderness of a touch
Because of you
I know the feeling of a caress
Because of you
I know the meaning of love
Because of you
I understand the meaning of always and forever
Because of you.
6
I tread the golden paths
with thoughts of you in mind
I walk through the fields
with footprints left behind
Rivers of tears
flowing down my cheeks
This concrete joy
you make me feel
I look at the clouds
and you're ascending high
I lay down my heard
and you juggle my thoughts
Our souls entwined
and grounded in peace
As our heartbeats
became synchronized
I peep through the window
and see sparkles in your eyes
I listen to the wall
and heard your giggles and smiles
Your words and dreams
still gladden my heart
Our destiny revealed
is so indelible in my mind
7
Lace and rose flowers
Delicately covering your soul
A thin veil of perfection
Gateway to your dreams
Beautiful in their woven fabric
Nature's weave, in softness
Lace and passion
Floral fantasy, unraveling
Peeling back the fabric
Fragrance in frail flowers
Revealing longing need
Nature's weave, removed
Lace and fulfillment
Frantic movements, abandon
Life receiving, giving
Breathing in the fragrance
Of roses and love
Fantasy and togetherness
Lace and comfort
Pulling back the fabric
Lying as one
Beneath fragile beauty
Flowers and the fine weave
A final embrace
8
Before I met you, I never knew how much pleasure could be derived
from the simple things in life
You have restored in me strength, joyfullness, and a love for all
I realize that we both will be forced to sacrifice for each other
as well as the other vital parts of our lives
But for you my darling, I am willing to make that sacrifice
And if someday we must part, I will not grieve
For I will know that we shared something precious, that should
be cherished and treasured for the happiness it provided
and not the sorrow it left behind...
9
I lie beside you,
Watching you while you sleep,
Watching your silent face,
Wanting to kiss your solemn lips,
Wanting to wake you and tell you,
I have always loved you,
Wondering if you feel the same way too.
I lie beside you now,
Knowing you love me,
Knowing you care.
Fearing the day you will leave me,
Fearing the day you won't care.
I will lie beside you forever,
In your dreams,
And during the night,
Knowing that you will be here,
Lying beside me.
LETTERS: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect
What is pathetic?
Is it believing in happy endings? Is it having your hope renewed after watching all those movies? Or is it simply hoping, even believing, within the depths of your heart -- that part you desperately try to hide and uselessly hope did not exist -- that one day love will happen to you?
Honestly, pathetic does not seem to capture the misery of waiting and hoping that it's the next person you bump into; that all the heartache and the embarrassment and the loneliness will be worth it soon.
Maybe that's what our parents and teachers should've taught us from the very beginning: how to deal with lost hopes and false expectations and realize that those movies always lie. Even when the story resembles your own, it's all still a lie because in the end, the girl will ultimately find her guy, and in rare cases where she doesn't, she is happy with it (unless of course it's a horror movie and the girl dies). They should teach us how to cope with the reality that we don't have either ending; that sometimes all you have is you and your misery and the mundaneness of a life that you will probably have for a long time, if not for always.
The worst part is even after all this, I still don't have the strength to stop waiting and hoping. Some people are born to be happy. I am born to wait.
Love,
your Soulmate
Dear Soulmate
I am traumatized by many heartaches so whoever you are please be careful and tender with my heart. I only want nothing but true love. So please just love me right and fair. That’s all I ask of you. I don’t want tears. I only want happiness being in love with you.
Is that too much to ask? I hope it’s not because you’re my only hope. And if ever we do meet and be together promise me a love that’s only love and nothing else. Love is all I want so please give me only love. Thank you and see you soon…
Every happy day is a hard day for me. I can only think of the time when I can share my life with you. I don't spoil many people and it's been a while since I let someone spoil me. I wish so bad that you were here. I wish so bad to make you laugh, to kiss you, hug you, make fun of you, fight with you, make up with you... I wish I could give you all of these poems that I been writing, but I can't, I don't know you. I just know that you are alive somewhere and that you belong to me. I'm not like every other man and I can't settle just for a good woman. I need you. I need you to hold me and love me. I need you to challenge me and disagree with me. I need you to love me for who I am, not for an idea of who you want me to be, but for who I really am. I can't wait to have you in my life and share amazing moments. I want to offer you all of me and treat you like a king. I want us to make each other happy. I want to make love to you. I want to unleash all of the man that I am, but just to you and only you. I'm waiting for you. I already feel like I love you. Maybe because I know how much I will. But I'm tired. I'm tired of dramatic and painful relationships, and I'm tired of shallow and circumstancial relationships. You know who I am, right? You know I'm not perfect right? You know I'm wonderfully imperfect, right? Please come to my arms, they ache with nothingness, emptiness, purposeless. They long to hold you.
Dear Soulmate,
Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my entire adult life. I am writing this so you will know that I am not giving up on my search for you. I know you wont give up on me either. Sometimes I wonder if we may have already met, maybe in passing. We might have even had a moment of recognition and realization, but we were so busy in our daily lives that it became a passing thought. A look and smile and nothing more. Other times I feel you are probably out there just wondering when I will drop into your life.
No one seems to believe in us anymore. No one believes in true love anymore, especially that magical kind-of love that you and I share. You know my heart has some bruises around it too, but the wounds don't penetrate deep enough to still my heart, for it beats to love you. Please be patient with me though when we meet because it may take me some time to completely open up to you. You and I both know it will be worth while in the end. I have had some disappointments in love as I am sure you have too. Finding you has been a long, hard road. I have taken several paths and wrong turns. There have been many ups and downs. I have met some wonderful people though along the way to finding you. I have made a lot of friends. I have met a lot of great individuals and then some not so great. We both know that for the majority most people are decent. I am glad you have been so dedicated in your search for me, as I have been with you. I am also glad that your belief in "true love" has never wavered. I know you have a lot of faith in God, as I do. Because God is Love.
I have to tell you something, and I know you will understand, as you may have faced the same on your journey to finding me. I did get married, and yes divorced. I guess along the way to finding you I got sidetracked, and being immature, I married out of desperation. The search for you has been long, and I wasn't sure that I would ever find you, so I settled {for a moment}. I know you mirror me and you take commitment to heart. I tried to make the most of my mistake and really stick it out, but in the end I couldn't give up on you. I will give my ex the respect and dignity she deserves though just us together wasn't good. I know you believe in marriage though and take those vows seriously, as I did and do. You know I did try my very best as I will with you. I know in my heart though that with us it wont be quite as hard, marriage is hard work but your heart has to be in it. With us it is true and pure and we will fight to keep our relationship deep and we will have a wonderful partnership. You will be my best friend and I will be yours. We will have the same beliefs and a great love of life. I believe my failed marriage was a life test and there were lessons to be learned and I have learned, as I know you have too, if you found yourself where I was.
I really miss you, can't wait to see you and find you. I can't wait for the opportunity to look into your eyes, feel safe in your arms and know I have finally, FINALLY found you. Until that day just know I am searching for you as you are me and I will never give up on you, us or true love.
-Waiting
To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect
What is pathetic?
Is it believing in happy endings? Is it having your hope renewed after watching all those movies? Or is it simply hoping, even believing, within the depths of your heart -- that part you desperately try to hide and uselessly hope did not exist -- that one day love will happen to you?
Honestly, pathetic does not seem to capture the misery of waiting and hoping that it's the next person you bump into; that all the heartache and the embarrassment and the loneliness will be worth it soon.
Maybe that's what our parents and teachers should've taught us from the very beginning: how to deal with lost hopes and false expectations and realize that those movies always lie. Even when the story resembles your own, it's all still a lie because in the end, the girl will ultimately find her guy, and in rare cases where she doesn't, she is happy with it (unless of course it's a horror movie and the girl dies). They should teach us how to cope with the reality that we don't have either ending; that sometimes all you have is you and your misery and the mundaneness of a life that you will probably have for a long time, if not for always.
The worst part is even after all this, I still don't have the strength to stop waiting and hoping. Some people are born to be happy. I am born to wait.
Love,
your Soulmate
Dear Soulmate
I am traumatized by many heartaches so whoever you are please be careful and tender with my heart. I only want nothing but true love. So please just love me right and fair. That’s all I ask of you. I don’t want tears. I only want happiness being in love with you.
Is that too much to ask? I hope it’s not because you’re my only hope. And if ever we do meet and be together promise me a love that’s only love and nothing else. Love is all I want so please give me only love. Thank you and see you soon…
Every happy day is a hard day for me. I can only think of the time when I can share my life with you. I don't spoil many people and it's been a while since I let someone spoil me. I wish so bad that you were here. I wish so bad to make you laugh, to kiss you, hug you, make fun of you, fight with you, make up with you... I wish I could give you all of these poems that I been writing, but I can't, I don't know you. I just know that you are alive somewhere and that you belong to me. I'm not like every other man and I can't settle just for a good woman. I need you. I need you to hold me and love me. I need you to challenge me and disagree with me. I need you to love me for who I am, not for an idea of who you want me to be, but for who I really am. I can't wait to have you in my life and share amazing moments. I want to offer you all of me and treat you like a king. I want us to make each other happy. I want to make love to you. I want to unleash all of the man that I am, but just to you and only you. I'm waiting for you. I already feel like I love you. Maybe because I know how much I will. But I'm tired. I'm tired of dramatic and painful relationships, and I'm tired of shallow and circumstancial relationships. You know who I am, right? You know I'm not perfect right? You know I'm wonderfully imperfect, right? Please come to my arms, they ache with nothingness, emptiness, purposeless. They long to hold you.
Dear Soulmate,
Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my entire adult life. I am writing this so you will know that I am not giving up on my search for you. I know you wont give up on me either. Sometimes I wonder if we may have already met, maybe in passing. We might have even had a moment of recognition and realization, but we were so busy in our daily lives that it became a passing thought. A look and smile and nothing more. Other times I feel you are probably out there just wondering when I will drop into your life.
No one seems to believe in us anymore. No one believes in true love anymore, especially that magical kind-of love that you and I share. You know my heart has some bruises around it too, but the wounds don't penetrate deep enough to still my heart, for it beats to love you. Please be patient with me though when we meet because it may take me some time to completely open up to you. You and I both know it will be worth while in the end. I have had some disappointments in love as I am sure you have too. Finding you has been a long, hard road. I have taken several paths and wrong turns. There have been many ups and downs. I have met some wonderful people though along the way to finding you. I have made a lot of friends. I have met a lot of great individuals and then some not so great. We both know that for the majority most people are decent. I am glad you have been so dedicated in your search for me, as I have been with you. I am also glad that your belief in "true love" has never wavered. I know you have a lot of faith in God, as I do. Because God is Love.
I have to tell you something, and I know you will understand, as you may have faced the same on your journey to finding me. I did get married, and yes divorced. I guess along the way to finding you I got sidetracked, and being immature, I married out of desperation. The search for you has been long, and I wasn't sure that I would ever find you, so I settled {for a moment}. I know you mirror me and you take commitment to heart. I tried to make the most of my mistake and really stick it out, but in the end I couldn't give up on you. I will give my ex the respect and dignity she deserves though just us together wasn't good. I know you believe in marriage though and take those vows seriously, as I did and do. You know I did try my very best as I will with you. I know in my heart though that with us it wont be quite as hard, marriage is hard work but your heart has to be in it. With us it is true and pure and we will fight to keep our relationship deep and we will have a wonderful partnership. You will be my best friend and I will be yours. We will have the same beliefs and a great love of life. I believe my failed marriage was a life test and there were lessons to be learned and I have learned, as I know you have too, if you found yourself where I was.
I really miss you, can't wait to see you and find you. I can't wait for the opportunity to look into your eyes, feel safe in your arms and know I have finally, FINALLY found you. Until that day just know I am searching for you as you are me and I will never give up on you, us or true love.
-Waiting
LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
Thank you for existing. Without having met you yet, I can tell you that you make my life better in every way possible and I that I love you more than I can put into words.
Thank you for getting through all the awkward moments I no doubt caused because of how nervous I felt around you in the beginning. Thank you for shattering the wall I know I put up, being patient with me, and making me trust you enough to be able to let you in. As you are probably already aware, letting someone in is a big thing for me, and I know you must have had to really push through to get to that point with me. Thank you for slowly letting me know that I can come to you with anything and letting me cry on your shoulder, vent about every small thing in my life, and scream with joy over the good things.
Thank you for making me laugh so much and enjoy life so much more. Thank you for laughing off a lot of the silly things I do and making me love myself more because you love me.
Thank you for dealing with my crazy family and somehow wanting to be apart of it. Thank you for proving to me that you will stay through think and thin, way past the point where anyone else I've ever loved has before. Thank you for accepting my flaws. In return, I promise to accept all of yours. Actually, I know all of your flaws will make me love you a little bit more.
Thank you for letting me show you a different side of myself than I have ever shown to anyone before. Being the love of my life, I'm sure you know that I show different sides of myself depending on how I feel about the people I'm around and the situation I'm in. Thank you for understanding and embracing my good and my bad traits and being comfortable enough to show me yours.
Thank you for fighting for me when I start to have doubts and try to walk away. Thank you for making me feel that I deserve you.
Thank you for making me feel handsome and reassuring me when I start to feel bad about myself. Thank you for getting past my insecurities and somehow instilling in me that you will love me no matter what. Thank you for making me have a renewed passion for living simply because you're in my life and you love me.
Thank you for standing by me whether I'm right or wrong, and occasionally getting me to see why I am wrong. Thank you for exposing me to so many different things that I never would have known without you. Thank you for showing me a new way to live. Thank you for making me a better person and lifting me up to a higher place instead of dragging me down to a lower one.
So many of the things that I do would not every be possible without you by my side. You make me a better and stronger person by simply being in the room. You are my anchor in stormy seas, and I hope I am the same for you. I am sorry if I don't show you or tell you enough how much I love you and how much you truly mean to me, but know that you mean more than the world to me and I love you from the bottom of my heart. If I can say this with complete certainty before I've ever met you, just think how much I will mean it after you're in my life.
You are truly a special person. I know that without a doubt and I haven't even met you yet. I can guarantee that we are going to have those moments that we have huge fights and possibly even feel like we hate each other, but I know that we love each other enough that we will come back together and our disagreements will make us stronger.
Though I don't know where we'll meet, what you look like, what you're passionate about, or how many children you want to have, I know that somehow everything will line up for us and we will complete each other like pieces of a puzzle. There's not a lot I am sure of, but I know I can promise you that I will love and stand by you completely for as long as I am breathing no matter what happens with either one of us in this life we will share. You are in no way perfect, but you are in every way perfect for me. I can't wait to find you and start living this life that is ours.
Love,
Thank you for existing. Without having met you yet, I can tell you that you make my life better in every way possible and I that I love you more than I can put into words.
Thank you for getting through all the awkward moments I no doubt caused because of how nervous I felt around you in the beginning. Thank you for shattering the wall I know I put up, being patient with me, and making me trust you enough to be able to let you in. As you are probably already aware, letting someone in is a big thing for me, and I know you must have had to really push through to get to that point with me. Thank you for slowly letting me know that I can come to you with anything and letting me cry on your shoulder, vent about every small thing in my life, and scream with joy over the good things.
Thank you for making me laugh so much and enjoy life so much more. Thank you for laughing off a lot of the silly things I do and making me love myself more because you love me.
Thank you for dealing with my crazy family and somehow wanting to be apart of it. Thank you for proving to me that you will stay through think and thin, way past the point where anyone else I've ever loved has before. Thank you for accepting my flaws. In return, I promise to accept all of yours. Actually, I know all of your flaws will make me love you a little bit more.
Thank you for letting me show you a different side of myself than I have ever shown to anyone before. Being the love of my life, I'm sure you know that I show different sides of myself depending on how I feel about the people I'm around and the situation I'm in. Thank you for understanding and embracing my good and my bad traits and being comfortable enough to show me yours.
Thank you for fighting for me when I start to have doubts and try to walk away. Thank you for making me feel that I deserve you.
Thank you for making me feel handsome and reassuring me when I start to feel bad about myself. Thank you for getting past my insecurities and somehow instilling in me that you will love me no matter what. Thank you for making me have a renewed passion for living simply because you're in my life and you love me.
Thank you for standing by me whether I'm right or wrong, and occasionally getting me to see why I am wrong. Thank you for exposing me to so many different things that I never would have known without you. Thank you for showing me a new way to live. Thank you for making me a better person and lifting me up to a higher place instead of dragging me down to a lower one.
So many of the things that I do would not every be possible without you by my side. You make me a better and stronger person by simply being in the room. You are my anchor in stormy seas, and I hope I am the same for you. I am sorry if I don't show you or tell you enough how much I love you and how much you truly mean to me, but know that you mean more than the world to me and I love you from the bottom of my heart. If I can say this with complete certainty before I've ever met you, just think how much I will mean it after you're in my life.
You are truly a special person. I know that without a doubt and I haven't even met you yet. I can guarantee that we are going to have those moments that we have huge fights and possibly even feel like we hate each other, but I know that we love each other enough that we will come back together and our disagreements will make us stronger.
Though I don't know where we'll meet, what you look like, what you're passionate about, or how many children you want to have, I know that somehow everything will line up for us and we will complete each other like pieces of a puzzle. There's not a lot I am sure of, but I know I can promise you that I will love and stand by you completely for as long as I am breathing no matter what happens with either one of us in this life we will share. You are in no way perfect, but you are in every way perfect for me. I can't wait to find you and start living this life that is ours.
Love,
Sunday, March 17, 2013
LOVE/JOURNAL: LOOKING BACK WITH INSECURITIES
When two people find enough in common and interest to begin dating one another, they both bring with them the cumulative experience of their years. They, of course, bring the good (their likes, adventures, and beliefs, etc.) but they also bring with them the bad (their shortcomings, prejudices, and obsession with Pokémon cards). And though both people may not bring an exact mixture of good and bad things to the relationship, every thing that makes each of them who they are has a direct impact on this new relationship. One certain component that can have the greatest influence on a relationship—romantic or not—is the insecurities each of us possess. And yes, we all have them.
Insecurities come from a place lacking in confidence. We may feel that we’re too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too whatever. Or we may feel that we’re not smart enough, not coordinated enough, not good enough, or just not enough period. Whatever it is that makes us insecure in who we are or how we look, feel, or act comes about because we’ve allowed ourselves to accept those shortcomings into our life. We’ve developed an opinion toward a certain part(s) of ourselves (or sometimes our whole self, sadly) that isn’t as healthy as it could be, and that bleeds insecurity into our lives. But being or feeling insecure doesn’t mean that there’s necessarily anything wrong with us. It only means that we feel we fall short in some areas. And while it isn’t healthy to obsess and focus on these “shortcomings”, it is good to keep a realistic view of ourselves instead of just assuming that we’re God’s gift to the human race and everyone should model themselves after us. Honestly, I’d prefer to acknowledge my failings instead of being ignorant to them.
Most of us know that a romance, a relationship is a balanced infrastructure with many moving parts. It’s basically two people with similar tastes, ideals, and goals somehow finding each other in this great big, nauseous world and then hoping against hope that they’re also attracted to each other in a romantic way. And even when those two people do find each other and decide to give it the old college try, they still have to get along and hope one of them doesn’t screw up bad enough to ruin the whole thing. Do we really realize just how difficult all of that is to accomplish?! It’s mesmerizing. And yet, through all of that and once this couple has settled into the routine of actually being a couple, they’re tasked with the responsibility of giving of themselves to this other person and relinquishing a focus that has rested solely on themselves up ‘til then.
But what are we to do when our insecurities begin to worm their way through this new and fresh thing we suddenly cherish and affect us in such a way that they begin to take a toll on our relationship? How do we keep our insecurities from ruining this thing that we’ve built and want to hang on to?
Being insecure is nothing simple to deal with. It can weigh us down and it can hurt our sense of self. But if we choose to share these insecurities with our partner, we can begin to work through them and hopefully become more secure and confident in ourselves. Sharing ourselves with this person we trust is that first step in that right direction.
When we do fall in love and it leads us to disappointment and regret, bitterness can find its way into our hearts. In fact, it can happen so seamlessly that we don’t realize it’s resting in our heart and mind until its effect has already taken hold. It’s when we focus on how much we gave to that love and how much we lost because of it that our loving heart can become iced and unforgiving.
This can be caused by a litany of things, but honestly, it doesn’t matter how our love was served back to us or how we were left broken because of it; all that matters is that things fell apart and now we’re untrustworthy of love and the potency it holds. To us, all that matters is that we’ve been burnt by love and it doesn’t seem wise or healthy to try again. I’ve felt that way and you’ve felt the same (probably but hopefully not).
What we have to remember and hold on to is that love—and all the good and bad that comes with it—can be worth us taking another chance at it. It may not always feel like it and that bitterness may have tried to make a permanent home within us, but fighting and healing through all the bad that has befallen us because of love is what it takes to be complete as a person.
We may have been cheated on, lied to, abused, or taken for granted, but beyond all of that, it’s our responsibility to remember that not every experience will mirror the one we had in the past. Love is capable of making us whole and happy. Do we have to be in love or in a relationship to be those things? Absolutely not. But if lasting a relationship is what we want deep in our heart, then it’s time to give love and all that it holds another chance. It won’t be easy and we should forever be cautious about who we give our love to, but choosing to move past our old pains and problems is the first step in finding what we want for ourselves and for our lives.
Ever so often, I take a small moment to look back over the last few years of my life. I witness again the heartbreaks and the triumphs, the losses and the lessons learned that made me who I am today. During these deepened explorations of my past, I do my best to deduce the reasons I made the mistakes I did so that I can keep from making them again in the future.
As I practiced this exercise a day or two ago, I focused on my sexual sins, wondering why I allowed my morals to decay to the point where I found myself wanting to have sex immediately.. At first, it was easy to brush past these instances as the result of a basic human desire to feel a release with another; to blame it on my manhood and the cravings we men sometimes feel. But then I surveyed the time in which these shenanigans took place, and when I finally brought focus upon the type of man I was then and what all transpired to make me that way, I realized that my sexual conquests weren’t a result of some simple appetite for satisfaction, but rather a deep and yearning desire to be wanted.
During these my younger years.. I was shunned by so many woman...., I felt like an outcast. Gone were the times of acceptance and love. I had marked myself as one unfit of the kindness of woman that I wanted.The result of this was my becoming—of my own volition—a man who needed to feel that he was wanted by someone, by anyone. I was unhappy with my situation and how I was seen, so to rectify those feelings, I sought the company of women who wanted me; who promised to fulfill me. In those times of loose morals and empty wisdom, I found myself participating in acts I knew were wrong, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to be wanted and that’s what I was getting—for a few fleeting moments anyway. Looking back, I can see that I was simply searching to replace those feelings of love and acceptance I once felt from my loved ones, and I was doing it any way I could.
These days, I’m proud to say that my happiness has returned and I no longer look to substitute feelings from less-than-acceptable places. I may not always have the approval of those in my life, but that means very little to me now. I work to please only God, and if someone else doesn’t like the man I am because of it, it doesn’t bother me.
And that’s where I fell short back then. I ached so badly for the acceptance of those around me that when I didn’t have it, I attempted to procure it from those who I knew would provide me some small sample of what I needed, even if I was losing my soul along the way.
The truth is that though we want to be wanted (by family, friends, lovers, etc.), it takes being happy with our own selves and without the approval of others before we can truly be whole. Otherwise, we’re running around, searching for acceptance and replacement feelings from those who would only use us and then disappear, leaving us with broken hearts and aching guilt.
Without our own, self-gained happiness, we’ll forever be without the balance and wholeness that self-acceptance brings.
I can’t help but notice a startling pattern in nearly every single example of my past relationship of my commitment. And though the common thread was one I hadn’t noticed until now, its existence somehow didn’t surprise me. It made sense and it explained the path each of those relationships took to their own demise.
In all but one of my relationships, I had settled for a person who less than what I truly wanted.
Each woman I committed myself to (for however long a time), they all lacked something I inevitably needed in a partner (the likelihood that they settled on me first is not lost on me). Examples of things I settled on range from the differences in our faith to her personality/sense of humor being somewhat dry and cumbered and not meshing with mine to her not being pretty enough for my taste .not being submissive enough.. Regardless of what I settled on, the fact that I did settle hampered my relationship from the very beginning and left us building something on less-than-solid ground. Ultimately, each relationships failure can be traced back to those concessions, and as a result, the failure of those relationships is on me and my conscience
In reality, dating, in its origins, was a way to progress toward marriage. You met someone and you liked them, so the two of you dated and if things worked out, you got married. Now, things are all construed and upside down. The term “dating” means a thousand different things to a billion different people. But whatever your definition of dating or what your endgame is, settling or conceding something you want from a partner puts your relationship at an immediate disadvantage. You’re having to ignore the absence of something you miss or the presence of something you wish didn’t exist. It’s a tough hurdle to get by or see through. But then again, some would say that love can conquer all.
When you’re considering dating someone while getting to know them, do yourself a favor and refuse to settle for someone who is less than what you want. Really, you have the right and privilege to wait for as long as you want. After all, your happiness is what’s at stake. But for woman who want kids and marriage..there is a time limit..they can;t wait forever.
Could some of my relationships have survived my settling? Maybe. Did they? No. So when I see that one of the deathblow issues was my conceding something I wanted and needed from a partner, why wouldn’t I correct that mistake in the future?
Your life is your own and you’re free to do as you please. But don’t settle. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be satisfied and you deserve to be fulfilled. Why not find that with someone who you don’t have to make a concession for? Hold out for something better. The result is eternally worth the wait.
Insecurities come from a place lacking in confidence. We may feel that we’re too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too whatever. Or we may feel that we’re not smart enough, not coordinated enough, not good enough, or just not enough period. Whatever it is that makes us insecure in who we are or how we look, feel, or act comes about because we’ve allowed ourselves to accept those shortcomings into our life. We’ve developed an opinion toward a certain part(s) of ourselves (or sometimes our whole self, sadly) that isn’t as healthy as it could be, and that bleeds insecurity into our lives. But being or feeling insecure doesn’t mean that there’s necessarily anything wrong with us. It only means that we feel we fall short in some areas. And while it isn’t healthy to obsess and focus on these “shortcomings”, it is good to keep a realistic view of ourselves instead of just assuming that we’re God’s gift to the human race and everyone should model themselves after us. Honestly, I’d prefer to acknowledge my failings instead of being ignorant to them.
Most of us know that a romance, a relationship is a balanced infrastructure with many moving parts. It’s basically two people with similar tastes, ideals, and goals somehow finding each other in this great big, nauseous world and then hoping against hope that they’re also attracted to each other in a romantic way. And even when those two people do find each other and decide to give it the old college try, they still have to get along and hope one of them doesn’t screw up bad enough to ruin the whole thing. Do we really realize just how difficult all of that is to accomplish?! It’s mesmerizing. And yet, through all of that and once this couple has settled into the routine of actually being a couple, they’re tasked with the responsibility of giving of themselves to this other person and relinquishing a focus that has rested solely on themselves up ‘til then.
But what are we to do when our insecurities begin to worm their way through this new and fresh thing we suddenly cherish and affect us in such a way that they begin to take a toll on our relationship? How do we keep our insecurities from ruining this thing that we’ve built and want to hang on to?
Being insecure is nothing simple to deal with. It can weigh us down and it can hurt our sense of self. But if we choose to share these insecurities with our partner, we can begin to work through them and hopefully become more secure and confident in ourselves. Sharing ourselves with this person we trust is that first step in that right direction.
When we do fall in love and it leads us to disappointment and regret, bitterness can find its way into our hearts. In fact, it can happen so seamlessly that we don’t realize it’s resting in our heart and mind until its effect has already taken hold. It’s when we focus on how much we gave to that love and how much we lost because of it that our loving heart can become iced and unforgiving.
This can be caused by a litany of things, but honestly, it doesn’t matter how our love was served back to us or how we were left broken because of it; all that matters is that things fell apart and now we’re untrustworthy of love and the potency it holds. To us, all that matters is that we’ve been burnt by love and it doesn’t seem wise or healthy to try again. I’ve felt that way and you’ve felt the same (probably but hopefully not).
What we have to remember and hold on to is that love—and all the good and bad that comes with it—can be worth us taking another chance at it. It may not always feel like it and that bitterness may have tried to make a permanent home within us, but fighting and healing through all the bad that has befallen us because of love is what it takes to be complete as a person.
We may have been cheated on, lied to, abused, or taken for granted, but beyond all of that, it’s our responsibility to remember that not every experience will mirror the one we had in the past. Love is capable of making us whole and happy. Do we have to be in love or in a relationship to be those things? Absolutely not. But if lasting a relationship is what we want deep in our heart, then it’s time to give love and all that it holds another chance. It won’t be easy and we should forever be cautious about who we give our love to, but choosing to move past our old pains and problems is the first step in finding what we want for ourselves and for our lives.
Ever so often, I take a small moment to look back over the last few years of my life. I witness again the heartbreaks and the triumphs, the losses and the lessons learned that made me who I am today. During these deepened explorations of my past, I do my best to deduce the reasons I made the mistakes I did so that I can keep from making them again in the future.
As I practiced this exercise a day or two ago, I focused on my sexual sins, wondering why I allowed my morals to decay to the point where I found myself wanting to have sex immediately.. At first, it was easy to brush past these instances as the result of a basic human desire to feel a release with another; to blame it on my manhood and the cravings we men sometimes feel. But then I surveyed the time in which these shenanigans took place, and when I finally brought focus upon the type of man I was then and what all transpired to make me that way, I realized that my sexual conquests weren’t a result of some simple appetite for satisfaction, but rather a deep and yearning desire to be wanted.
During these my younger years.. I was shunned by so many woman...., I felt like an outcast. Gone were the times of acceptance and love. I had marked myself as one unfit of the kindness of woman that I wanted.The result of this was my becoming—of my own volition—a man who needed to feel that he was wanted by someone, by anyone. I was unhappy with my situation and how I was seen, so to rectify those feelings, I sought the company of women who wanted me; who promised to fulfill me. In those times of loose morals and empty wisdom, I found myself participating in acts I knew were wrong, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to be wanted and that’s what I was getting—for a few fleeting moments anyway. Looking back, I can see that I was simply searching to replace those feelings of love and acceptance I once felt from my loved ones, and I was doing it any way I could.
These days, I’m proud to say that my happiness has returned and I no longer look to substitute feelings from less-than-acceptable places. I may not always have the approval of those in my life, but that means very little to me now. I work to please only God, and if someone else doesn’t like the man I am because of it, it doesn’t bother me.
And that’s where I fell short back then. I ached so badly for the acceptance of those around me that when I didn’t have it, I attempted to procure it from those who I knew would provide me some small sample of what I needed, even if I was losing my soul along the way.
The truth is that though we want to be wanted (by family, friends, lovers, etc.), it takes being happy with our own selves and without the approval of others before we can truly be whole. Otherwise, we’re running around, searching for acceptance and replacement feelings from those who would only use us and then disappear, leaving us with broken hearts and aching guilt.
Without our own, self-gained happiness, we’ll forever be without the balance and wholeness that self-acceptance brings.
I can’t help but notice a startling pattern in nearly every single example of my past relationship of my commitment. And though the common thread was one I hadn’t noticed until now, its existence somehow didn’t surprise me. It made sense and it explained the path each of those relationships took to their own demise.
In all but one of my relationships, I had settled for a person who less than what I truly wanted.
Each woman I committed myself to (for however long a time), they all lacked something I inevitably needed in a partner (the likelihood that they settled on me first is not lost on me). Examples of things I settled on range from the differences in our faith to her personality/sense of humor being somewhat dry and cumbered and not meshing with mine to her not being pretty enough for my taste .not being submissive enough.. Regardless of what I settled on, the fact that I did settle hampered my relationship from the very beginning and left us building something on less-than-solid ground. Ultimately, each relationships failure can be traced back to those concessions, and as a result, the failure of those relationships is on me and my conscience
In reality, dating, in its origins, was a way to progress toward marriage. You met someone and you liked them, so the two of you dated and if things worked out, you got married. Now, things are all construed and upside down. The term “dating” means a thousand different things to a billion different people. But whatever your definition of dating or what your endgame is, settling or conceding something you want from a partner puts your relationship at an immediate disadvantage. You’re having to ignore the absence of something you miss or the presence of something you wish didn’t exist. It’s a tough hurdle to get by or see through. But then again, some would say that love can conquer all.
When you’re considering dating someone while getting to know them, do yourself a favor and refuse to settle for someone who is less than what you want. Really, you have the right and privilege to wait for as long as you want. After all, your happiness is what’s at stake. But for woman who want kids and marriage..there is a time limit..they can;t wait forever.
Could some of my relationships have survived my settling? Maybe. Did they? No. So when I see that one of the deathblow issues was my conceding something I wanted and needed from a partner, why wouldn’t I correct that mistake in the future?
Your life is your own and you’re free to do as you please. But don’t settle. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be satisfied and you deserve to be fulfilled. Why not find that with someone who you don’t have to make a concession for? Hold out for something better. The result is eternally worth the wait.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER: I LOVE YOU
Dearest Love,
I've never kissed you in Times Square on New Years.
We've never ridden a Gondola down the Venetian canals.
We've yet to stand in the brilliant glow of the lights from the Eiffel tower.
We've never tangoed in a Spanish Square.
I've never run to you across the airport terminal to jump into your arms,
And you've never named a star after me.
But you are the one who brings hope to my New Year.
You are the one who carries me through troubled waters.
You are my light in the darkness.
You are the dance that beats in my heart.
You are my home each time we embrace,
And I want to be with you past the stars, beyond the galaxies,
And into eternity.
I truly believe we were meant to be, you and me.
I was yours from the moment our eyes first locked. Like a bolt of lightening you struck my heart. Time cannot fade that precious memory. With every beat of my heart I want you more
It is with unrequited love that I write this letter. Love to you, my dear, must be expressed in an abundance of words and alliterations. For you, my dear, are the personification of love; and a women without words can be likened to a man's without clothes
I beg you to indulge me in your lust as I put forth my humble weakness of words to embolden to sway your heart.
My Little Dove,I miss the quickening of your heart and the fluttering of your eyelids. As my arms firmly embrace your flesh, I remember how they rest so perfectly on your little waist and luscious hips.I close my eyes and draw you close savoring the quickening of our spirits... Then afterwards, I delight in your perfumed scent like a royal rose beckoning me back to your bosom. I now bury myself in my pillow, missing you, missing the fragrance of your love. Return to me, and I promise you words always. No longer will I just bring you flowers, but I will say, "How can I compare thee to a summer's day?" No longer will we just dine out, but we will feast and gorge ourselves on each other. You will always be my favorite repast. No longer will we just walk together, but we will stroll engaging in conversational tidbits of ourselves like morsels of chocolate and petitfores.
I promise to protect you, my dove. I have the wings of a mighty angel to shield you and hide you from the strife of life. I will provide for you. The bounty of the earth will be yours; you will want for nothing. I will be a loyal lover all of my life or you may pluck out my eyes for I only have eyes for you.
I love you
From the depths of my heart
Every fiber of my being
I love you
I would gift wrap my soul
And place it at your feet
I would surrender to you
My every possession
If faced with losing a limb,
Or losing you
I would be a cripple
The rest of my life
Just to keep you
Instead I am merely
An emotional cripple,
For I ache to possess you
As you have captured me
Helplessly pining for you,
I wait for the day
When your name
Is but a distant memory
But, meanwhile...
I love you.
Words can not express the love I'll always have for you, but on these pages my heart I give to you, my soul eternally yours. Each corner of my mind echoes your loving voice and gentle laugh constantly when you are afar and my eyes long to see you and only you.
I've never kissed you in Times Square on New Years.
We've never ridden a Gondola down the Venetian canals.
We've yet to stand in the brilliant glow of the lights from the Eiffel tower.
We've never tangoed in a Spanish Square.
I've never run to you across the airport terminal to jump into your arms,
And you've never named a star after me.
But you are the one who brings hope to my New Year.
You are the one who carries me through troubled waters.
You are my light in the darkness.
You are the dance that beats in my heart.
You are my home each time we embrace,
And I want to be with you past the stars, beyond the galaxies,
And into eternity.
I truly believe we were meant to be, you and me.
I was yours from the moment our eyes first locked. Like a bolt of lightening you struck my heart. Time cannot fade that precious memory. With every beat of my heart I want you more
It is with unrequited love that I write this letter. Love to you, my dear, must be expressed in an abundance of words and alliterations. For you, my dear, are the personification of love; and a women without words can be likened to a man's without clothes
I beg you to indulge me in your lust as I put forth my humble weakness of words to embolden to sway your heart.
My Little Dove,I miss the quickening of your heart and the fluttering of your eyelids. As my arms firmly embrace your flesh, I remember how they rest so perfectly on your little waist and luscious hips.I close my eyes and draw you close savoring the quickening of our spirits... Then afterwards, I delight in your perfumed scent like a royal rose beckoning me back to your bosom. I now bury myself in my pillow, missing you, missing the fragrance of your love. Return to me, and I promise you words always. No longer will I just bring you flowers, but I will say, "How can I compare thee to a summer's day?" No longer will we just dine out, but we will feast and gorge ourselves on each other. You will always be my favorite repast. No longer will we just walk together, but we will stroll engaging in conversational tidbits of ourselves like morsels of chocolate and petitfores.
I promise to protect you, my dove. I have the wings of a mighty angel to shield you and hide you from the strife of life. I will provide for you. The bounty of the earth will be yours; you will want for nothing. I will be a loyal lover all of my life or you may pluck out my eyes for I only have eyes for you.
I love you
From the depths of my heart
Every fiber of my being
I love you
I would gift wrap my soul
And place it at your feet
I would surrender to you
My every possession
If faced with losing a limb,
Or losing you
I would be a cripple
The rest of my life
Just to keep you
Instead I am merely
An emotional cripple,
For I ache to possess you
As you have captured me
Helplessly pining for you,
I wait for the day
When your name
Is but a distant memory
But, meanwhile...
I love you.
Words can not express the love I'll always have for you, but on these pages my heart I give to you, my soul eternally yours. Each corner of my mind echoes your loving voice and gentle laugh constantly when you are afar and my eyes long to see you and only you.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
DATING: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" >>TO ALL THE WOMAN OUT THERE
The truth is indeed unacceptable to most women . Women continue to delude themselves into thinking that a man’s desires in a relationship are the same as hers. “If I’m attracted to strong and independent men, they must be attracted to a strong and independent woman like me.” Nope... It’s remarkable but I wonder how many women resist or reject such advice because of feminist, ideological grounds (“it’s wrong to make a man feel good”) or their own sense of fabulousness causes them to stick their heads in the sand.
Women simply want to marry someone they’re attracted to.Instead of being told that few women will get an alpha, and that few women will marry someone for whom they feel intense passion, women are instead told not to “settle” and not to be with a man unless he makes her heart go pitter patter right off the bat.
Women should be told that most everyone ends up marrying someone who is about their equal in attractiveness. They should be told that their attractiveness declines with age, because beauty/fertility are so strongly linked. They should be told that for most of them, it’s unrealistic to marry their “ideal man” and even if they did, he probably wouldn’t be the most stable husband. They should be told to look for a man of strong character and solid faith, and that chemistry can grow if there is a small spark at all. Have high ideals, but about the right things. Have high ideals, but be realistic!
“There is no man in the world who is going to be fooled into thinking that you’re worth more because you’re playing hard to get.”
I have come to take a girl that doesn’t put out on the first date as nothing but an insult, The willingness of girls to slut it up for the few alpha’s that are fucking all the girls out there. It is an insult to me, if she protests to sleeping with me, only because she is looking to being a reformed slut and wants to settle down. Chumps and Beta’s fall for that.
At some point in a modern girls cock carouselling will she realize that she cannot coral one of these alpha’s, and she will seek a ‘nice man’. Of course you know that when a girl says she wants a nice guy, she wants an alpha to be nicer. She still will never see the vastly overwhelming hoards of nice men out there, and will not acknowledge it, even when you show her the evidence.
I tried explaining this to a girl last night, she told me that her friends I don’t know one decent guy. I told her, it’s because you are attracted to assholes, you don’t register nice guys, because you like the guys who have options, and guys with options tend to be assholes, well because we can. She didn’t believe me, she actually called nice men unicorns. Even when I said I was friends with a lot of nice guys, the next words out of her mouth exposed her, and her little hamster didn’t even know what was happening. “Are they good looking?”
If you know me, you should know that the talk was over right there. I don’t react to those comments, but any girl that even jokes around about whether my friends are good looking, on a first date with me, has shown absolutely no respect for me, and deserves to be treated either as a pump and dump, or in this case, a hasty ejection to the confines of my harem. But it also proves my point. Girls expect good looking men with options to basically act how we want girls to act. Sweet, kind, and not jumping from partner to partner, but more importantly, obedient. Girls sexuality and sluttiness is now so accepted they are trying to demand the few in demand men to not act on their biological impulses and treat them like ‘ladies’. But why would we?
We all know girls make no cognitive sense, and the hamster wheel spins out of control when confronted with reality, but this one really takes the cake. A girl who’s spent her youth jumping from alpha cock to alpha cock has no business requesting anything but the level of respect that deserves. Nice has a different meaning to girls, nice in her eyes means, treat her like she’s a special snowflake. She wants a guy that she can finally convince that she’s an innocent and pure girl, when we all know that she’s the farthest thing from it. You can’t tell girls this because they cannot deal with reality. The hamster spins it so she can tolerate whatever comments that come out of your mouth. Oh you’re just a douchebag. For example.
Do girls really expect high value males to ignore their slutty past completely? Or at the very least believe that by not sleeping with a guy on the first date, somehow makes her virtuous in his eyes? Sorry girls, guys no longer are fooled by the thin vaneer of your beautiful lies. Any alpha out there will not see through your facade, and no high value man will ever respect you like you want.
You girls need to realise that you can’t have it both ways, you made your bed now sleep in it. Why would a man give up sex with a lot of younger, hotter, easier women, to go through the obsolete courting phase that the reformed slut desires? It is a clear play on obedience. These girls want to know a guy they’re with won’t sleep around on them. But any man that has options will. Why? Because she has. Because all girls have.
I respect girls, but I respect them on my level. I don’t really mind if a girl has had a bunch of cocks in her before me, I don’t want to hear about it, but I don’t care – because I’m only in it for sex and the company of a sweet and caring girl. We have mutual equality, because we have both slept around, but I will give no more respect other than that which one deserves.
Girls, you want a nice guy? Be a sweet heart to that alpha, submit to him, suck his cock every chance you can get. Do not play any games in order to coral him, do not act bitchy, do not put expectations on him, and he’ll stick around, and treat you nice. Even with all my knowledge of girls, I’m still baffled that they can’t grasp this simple concept.
Women simply want to marry someone they’re attracted to.Instead of being told that few women will get an alpha, and that few women will marry someone for whom they feel intense passion, women are instead told not to “settle” and not to be with a man unless he makes her heart go pitter patter right off the bat.
Women should be told that most everyone ends up marrying someone who is about their equal in attractiveness. They should be told that their attractiveness declines with age, because beauty/fertility are so strongly linked. They should be told that for most of them, it’s unrealistic to marry their “ideal man” and even if they did, he probably wouldn’t be the most stable husband. They should be told to look for a man of strong character and solid faith, and that chemistry can grow if there is a small spark at all. Have high ideals, but about the right things. Have high ideals, but be realistic!
“There is no man in the world who is going to be fooled into thinking that you’re worth more because you’re playing hard to get.”
I have come to take a girl that doesn’t put out on the first date as nothing but an insult, The willingness of girls to slut it up for the few alpha’s that are fucking all the girls out there. It is an insult to me, if she protests to sleeping with me, only because she is looking to being a reformed slut and wants to settle down. Chumps and Beta’s fall for that.
At some point in a modern girls cock carouselling will she realize that she cannot coral one of these alpha’s, and she will seek a ‘nice man’. Of course you know that when a girl says she wants a nice guy, she wants an alpha to be nicer. She still will never see the vastly overwhelming hoards of nice men out there, and will not acknowledge it, even when you show her the evidence.
I tried explaining this to a girl last night, she told me that her friends I don’t know one decent guy. I told her, it’s because you are attracted to assholes, you don’t register nice guys, because you like the guys who have options, and guys with options tend to be assholes, well because we can. She didn’t believe me, she actually called nice men unicorns. Even when I said I was friends with a lot of nice guys, the next words out of her mouth exposed her, and her little hamster didn’t even know what was happening. “Are they good looking?”
If you know me, you should know that the talk was over right there. I don’t react to those comments, but any girl that even jokes around about whether my friends are good looking, on a first date with me, has shown absolutely no respect for me, and deserves to be treated either as a pump and dump, or in this case, a hasty ejection to the confines of my harem. But it also proves my point. Girls expect good looking men with options to basically act how we want girls to act. Sweet, kind, and not jumping from partner to partner, but more importantly, obedient. Girls sexuality and sluttiness is now so accepted they are trying to demand the few in demand men to not act on their biological impulses and treat them like ‘ladies’. But why would we?
We all know girls make no cognitive sense, and the hamster wheel spins out of control when confronted with reality, but this one really takes the cake. A girl who’s spent her youth jumping from alpha cock to alpha cock has no business requesting anything but the level of respect that deserves. Nice has a different meaning to girls, nice in her eyes means, treat her like she’s a special snowflake. She wants a guy that she can finally convince that she’s an innocent and pure girl, when we all know that she’s the farthest thing from it. You can’t tell girls this because they cannot deal with reality. The hamster spins it so she can tolerate whatever comments that come out of your mouth. Oh you’re just a douchebag. For example.
Do girls really expect high value males to ignore their slutty past completely? Or at the very least believe that by not sleeping with a guy on the first date, somehow makes her virtuous in his eyes? Sorry girls, guys no longer are fooled by the thin vaneer of your beautiful lies. Any alpha out there will not see through your facade, and no high value man will ever respect you like you want.
You girls need to realise that you can’t have it both ways, you made your bed now sleep in it. Why would a man give up sex with a lot of younger, hotter, easier women, to go through the obsolete courting phase that the reformed slut desires? It is a clear play on obedience. These girls want to know a guy they’re with won’t sleep around on them. But any man that has options will. Why? Because she has. Because all girls have.
I respect girls, but I respect them on my level. I don’t really mind if a girl has had a bunch of cocks in her before me, I don’t want to hear about it, but I don’t care – because I’m only in it for sex and the company of a sweet and caring girl. We have mutual equality, because we have both slept around, but I will give no more respect other than that which one deserves.
Girls, you want a nice guy? Be a sweet heart to that alpha, submit to him, suck his cock every chance you can get. Do not play any games in order to coral him, do not act bitchy, do not put expectations on him, and he’ll stick around, and treat you nice. Even with all my knowledge of girls, I’m still baffled that they can’t grasp this simple concept.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER: PLEASE BE MINE...DEAREST LOVE
I love having someone to love. I love having that love reciprocated. I would walk barefoot for hours, and hours, through thunderstorms, on a path of shattered glass just to see that smile. The glint in those eyes when they catch mine. That scintillating voice. The warmth of those arms wrapped around me. Everything. All of it. It’s ineffable.
My pen is too shy and apprehensive to write what my mind really thinks of you. I want to tell you everything, but I’m afraid of vulnerability. So, you can know this instead. I do think of you, I do want to tell you, I’m just not quite ready to let you know everything yet.
Take me to the place I’ve been dreaming of
Where the grotesquely lonely meet the grotesquely lonely
And they whisper, just very softly
“Please be mine, Dearest Love”
My pen is too shy and apprehensive to write what my mind really thinks of you. I want to tell you everything, but I’m afraid of vulnerability. So, you can know this instead. I do think of you, I do want to tell you, I’m just not quite ready to let you know everything yet.
Take me to the place I’ve been dreaming of
Where the grotesquely lonely meet the grotesquely lonely
And they whisper, just very softly
“Please be mine, Dearest Love”
POETRY: I ONCE HAD A DREAM
I once had a dream...
I gave you my heart
and you accepted.
You told me you loved me.
I was so high,
I could have fallen to my death.
I reached new heights,
I was proud to be by your side.
You told me how you felt
and made my heart melt.
I realized I loved you so much
I would die to make you happy.
You were so important to me
I couldn?t tell you.
But I think you somehow
knew my feelings and emotions.
I was holding your hand
and walking away from any dangers.
I gave you the world,
I spent my life on you.
Then with a final word,
you said, "Good bye"
with your soft soothing voice.
Then, finally you told me
...you loved me.
Then... the dream ended.
I guess it was
supposed to be a dream...
(sigh) just a dream.
2
She stands there
in the darkness of the forest
weaving her magical spell
in a world of fantasy she lives.
A knight stands there...
in the realm of life and of dreams
he sits there in awe
watching her spin her spell.
Wanting to reach her world he holds his hand out.
the spell wraps itself around his hand;
he resists.
But he looks at her and finds that he cannot,
he allows himself to fall.
She touches him and whispers, "I love you.."
He lays there, shaking in sweat.
He opens his eyes, and he sees the familiarity of his room.
He then closes his eyes to return to the world of dreams, to
return to her...
3
Whenever I'm wary
From the trials of my life
I think of you and I smile
You give me hope and love to carry on
You inspire me and awaken me
to a brand new day filled with
wonderful thoughts of you?
thoughts that keep me happy
and help me get through the day
You are... my inspiration
My nights are never cold.
The warmth of my love for you
Overcomes my body and soul and I drift
Into dreamland
Where you and I roam free
And we love
Like we've never loved before
When I awaken you are my first thought
My first breath of morning air
You are... my nourishment
Like two peas in a pod
We are alike in the most precious of ways
Never before have I seen
The beauty of such a divine connection
I feel what you feel; I understand; I know
I know you
You are my most beautiful vision
And I see you at all times and all places
You are in my heart
You are... me
4
My heart beats.
I'm here.
She's here.
My mind swirls.
My heart beats faster.
I take a quick glance at her, right next to me.
My eyes shift.
My eyes move back to meet with hers.
My heart beats faster than before.
Bordering between rapid and dangerous.
I sense a movement.
Her hand starts to make an advance.
My mind does a 360.
My hand starts to move as well.
My heart crosses into dangerous.
And then I feel her fingers locking with mine.
I smile, knowing that as I hold her hand, she's smiling, too.
5
I close my eyes and it?s you I see.
And if I try I can even smell the perfume you wear.
I smile, I see your face, your smile, Your eyes
When I look into them they're like nothing I have seen before.
The way you look at me breaks down the wall around my heart into dust.
Your touch is like none other.
It?s the softest kindest feel to ever come my way.
It?s of care, genuine, full of hope, to have once been lost
But given a second chance to survive.
If heaven were to allow me to see an angel
It would be you I am looking at.
So I close my eyes when you?re not around, smile and wonder,
What do you see
6
love was nothing,
until you,
love was lost,
until you,
love was only a facade,
until....you
you came into my life and changed everything,
everything I have ever dreamed of,
everything that I have ever wanted,
everything I have needed,
was defined when you entered my life,
I have never loved,
until you.......
7
As I look into your face,
I see you so benign.
I'm lost within your crystal eyes,
And I cannot close mine.
I get lost within your smile,
And wander aimlessly.
Through ecstasy and endless bliss,
So peaceful and so free.
All I have to do is see,
Your precious procelain skin.
My eyes light up like burning fire,
And I am lost within.
I never want to leave here.
This feeling is so nice.
I look into your eyes
And I am lost in paradise.
8
Awakening of
Yesterday's lust;
Today's suffering
And tomorrow's pain.
Remembrance of emotions
Burned by the promises
You couldn't keep.
Soft breezes of memories
Swirling about
Of the long ago passion.
Erotic feelings
Long buried by you.
Bound in chains;
My heart still aches for
You.
9
'Till there was you...
My soul was dimly lit... now it shines brightly.
My heart never beat such rhythmic music.
My eyes never saw the essence of true beauty
My lips were all alone in a world unknown to me.
'Till there was you...
My hands never felt the body of love.
I never longed for a companion.
My dreams were disenchanted... now you haunt them like a ghost in the wind.
The sun shined for daylight... now I know it shines for us.
To this very day I never felt true love... then there was you.
10
Regardless of whether I love you,
hate you, wish you were dead
or know that I would die without you.
It doesn?t matter,
because once you entered my life,
no matter whatever I was to the world,
you became everything to me.
When I look you in your eyes,
I'm traveling to the depths of your soul
and I say a million things- without even speaking,
I know that my own life in consumed by your love,
I love you for a million reasons.
It?s a 'thing,'
...an indescribable feeling.
11
We are here,
there, everywhere,
my love and I.
In wind, blowing
in the night sky,
each star falling free,
the moon beams,
the sunshine,
each raindrop,
in the river's bend,
on ships at sea
in the pot of gold
at each rainbows end.
We are here,
my love and I,
in the four seasons
of spring, summer,
winter, and fall.
Walking in a forest
or under city lights.
In a castle tower
looming tall.
Hearts basking
in the glow of love
in a cottage
behind a garden wall.
We will be there,
my love and I,
when the world stops,
when the sky, the wind,
the sun, the moon
and the stars drop.
Our hearts and minds
touching there,
body and soul,
lingering there
within our love,
aching for reality
in our fantasy world.
12
For now,
I need not feel isolation
I need not feel desolation
For your memory lies within
When an era of memory does begin
My heart salivates at a mere thought-
dancing in my mind, I am caught
Twisted thoughts, temptations flare
Closed eyes, open mind... if I dare
I will always keep you near
In my soul you are deep and dear
The stake in my heart left a hole
Yet, it will not bleed, it remains full
In another life you may come to me
Where your true heart longs to be
Until then, the taste, bittersweet
And my heart forever skips a beat
13
looking inside you. where do we run today? scattered about
in the riches we love, unknowingly in the brilliance of light
from above. nothing to abstract you...to deform you,
or make you dark. the other side is full of wild sensation.
we can dip ourselves in the serenity of the unknown...
we can blend our fantasies together, create a whole new horizon.
doors swing open, and there's nothing but possibility.
endless passion unrolling in the purity of our existence.
I can feel you, which makes it impossible not
to expand our minds, and perfect our touch.
each second dies. the past is constantly behind us
like every wave that embraces the shoreline. each breath cries
this life is constantly with us like every star that shines.
you amaze me.
I can't help but explore your eyes, and run my fingers
through your hair. I watch you dream when you sleep.
I feel your spirit in the air that breathes,
in the sun that bleeds. I'm here to fulfill your aspirations,
and all your needs.
The child you once were, is still within you.
You're always that special little girl.
It's infinite like the universe.
limitless in all I see, and feel. having you beside me,
to endure all that is real
14
ou are the reason that God made the moon,
And starlight,
And midnight blue.
Then he crossed our paths at forever more,
And as they touched,
There sparkled a magic we couldn't ignore.
We walked together,
Timid at first,
But then,
Your eyes told mine as mine told yours.
It was God's will, it was destiney,
It was love from the first.
15
My darling love, so sweet and gentle,
Come to me and allow me to see the future of you and me.
What will become of our life together? Nobody knows.
Loving you is all that matters to me...
Holding you close, feeling you against me.
My heart flutters when you call my name and say "I love you."
Your lips so soft and gentle, like the drip of morning dew.
To me, life would not exist without you in it.
You are my life, my whole world.
My life-long happiness exists only deep within you.
Without you there would be only darkness.
You are my heart, soul, and my other half
16
The night is beautiful
stars shining so bright,
up at them I stare
looking for you, tonight.
Sitting alone
so far from you,
but feel as though
you are right here, too!
I miss you so
seems like forever
has now passed
since we spoke last.
Wanting to feel
the warmth of your touch
against my skin.
The night, the stars,
here alone...
missing you,
even though
you are in my heart.
Someday soon
will you be--
watching the stars
here with me?
17
Firelit lips dance
Warm
Wine tossed tongues touch
Sparking
Cheeks blush
Smiles and giggles
Lovers embrace
Gently
Then passionately
Eyes touch
Deep, soft
Sweet
Lips again
touch seeking touch
Tingling, shivering
Struggle for love
Toil for passion
Rising higher
Higher
As one
Holding
Time stops
Joining
Rising...
The moment stands still
The pounding of hearts
Marking time
Like the ripples on a pond
spreading
Mingling
And returning
Again
18
Will you be mine please?
You tease me with your beautiful looks.
Your love is as soft as a feather.
I will never forget your beautiful smile.
I see your face in the rain as it falls
through the night.
You're on my mind every minute of the day
so say you will be mine so we can be together
forever, forever together.
I gave you my heart
and you accepted.
You told me you loved me.
I was so high,
I could have fallen to my death.
I reached new heights,
I was proud to be by your side.
You told me how you felt
and made my heart melt.
I realized I loved you so much
I would die to make you happy.
You were so important to me
I couldn?t tell you.
But I think you somehow
knew my feelings and emotions.
I was holding your hand
and walking away from any dangers.
I gave you the world,
I spent my life on you.
Then with a final word,
you said, "Good bye"
with your soft soothing voice.
Then, finally you told me
...you loved me.
Then... the dream ended.
I guess it was
supposed to be a dream...
(sigh) just a dream.
2
She stands there
in the darkness of the forest
weaving her magical spell
in a world of fantasy she lives.
A knight stands there...
in the realm of life and of dreams
he sits there in awe
watching her spin her spell.
Wanting to reach her world he holds his hand out.
the spell wraps itself around his hand;
he resists.
But he looks at her and finds that he cannot,
he allows himself to fall.
She touches him and whispers, "I love you.."
He lays there, shaking in sweat.
He opens his eyes, and he sees the familiarity of his room.
He then closes his eyes to return to the world of dreams, to
return to her...
3
Whenever I'm wary
From the trials of my life
I think of you and I smile
You give me hope and love to carry on
You inspire me and awaken me
to a brand new day filled with
wonderful thoughts of you?
thoughts that keep me happy
and help me get through the day
You are... my inspiration
My nights are never cold.
The warmth of my love for you
Overcomes my body and soul and I drift
Into dreamland
Where you and I roam free
And we love
Like we've never loved before
When I awaken you are my first thought
My first breath of morning air
You are... my nourishment
Like two peas in a pod
We are alike in the most precious of ways
Never before have I seen
The beauty of such a divine connection
I feel what you feel; I understand; I know
I know you
You are my most beautiful vision
And I see you at all times and all places
You are in my heart
You are... me
4
My heart beats.
I'm here.
She's here.
My mind swirls.
My heart beats faster.
I take a quick glance at her, right next to me.
My eyes shift.
My eyes move back to meet with hers.
My heart beats faster than before.
Bordering between rapid and dangerous.
I sense a movement.
Her hand starts to make an advance.
My mind does a 360.
My hand starts to move as well.
My heart crosses into dangerous.
And then I feel her fingers locking with mine.
I smile, knowing that as I hold her hand, she's smiling, too.
5
I close my eyes and it?s you I see.
And if I try I can even smell the perfume you wear.
I smile, I see your face, your smile, Your eyes
When I look into them they're like nothing I have seen before.
The way you look at me breaks down the wall around my heart into dust.
Your touch is like none other.
It?s the softest kindest feel to ever come my way.
It?s of care, genuine, full of hope, to have once been lost
But given a second chance to survive.
If heaven were to allow me to see an angel
It would be you I am looking at.
So I close my eyes when you?re not around, smile and wonder,
What do you see
6
love was nothing,
until you,
love was lost,
until you,
love was only a facade,
until....you
you came into my life and changed everything,
everything I have ever dreamed of,
everything that I have ever wanted,
everything I have needed,
was defined when you entered my life,
I have never loved,
until you.......
7
As I look into your face,
I see you so benign.
I'm lost within your crystal eyes,
And I cannot close mine.
I get lost within your smile,
And wander aimlessly.
Through ecstasy and endless bliss,
So peaceful and so free.
All I have to do is see,
Your precious procelain skin.
My eyes light up like burning fire,
And I am lost within.
I never want to leave here.
This feeling is so nice.
I look into your eyes
And I am lost in paradise.
8
Awakening of
Yesterday's lust;
Today's suffering
And tomorrow's pain.
Remembrance of emotions
Burned by the promises
You couldn't keep.
Soft breezes of memories
Swirling about
Of the long ago passion.
Erotic feelings
Long buried by you.
Bound in chains;
My heart still aches for
You.
9
'Till there was you...
My soul was dimly lit... now it shines brightly.
My heart never beat such rhythmic music.
My eyes never saw the essence of true beauty
My lips were all alone in a world unknown to me.
'Till there was you...
My hands never felt the body of love.
I never longed for a companion.
My dreams were disenchanted... now you haunt them like a ghost in the wind.
The sun shined for daylight... now I know it shines for us.
To this very day I never felt true love... then there was you.
10
Regardless of whether I love you,
hate you, wish you were dead
or know that I would die without you.
It doesn?t matter,
because once you entered my life,
no matter whatever I was to the world,
you became everything to me.
When I look you in your eyes,
I'm traveling to the depths of your soul
and I say a million things- without even speaking,
I know that my own life in consumed by your love,
I love you for a million reasons.
It?s a 'thing,'
...an indescribable feeling.
11
We are here,
there, everywhere,
my love and I.
In wind, blowing
in the night sky,
each star falling free,
the moon beams,
the sunshine,
each raindrop,
in the river's bend,
on ships at sea
in the pot of gold
at each rainbows end.
We are here,
my love and I,
in the four seasons
of spring, summer,
winter, and fall.
Walking in a forest
or under city lights.
In a castle tower
looming tall.
Hearts basking
in the glow of love
in a cottage
behind a garden wall.
We will be there,
my love and I,
when the world stops,
when the sky, the wind,
the sun, the moon
and the stars drop.
Our hearts and minds
touching there,
body and soul,
lingering there
within our love,
aching for reality
in our fantasy world.
12
For now,
I need not feel isolation
I need not feel desolation
For your memory lies within
When an era of memory does begin
My heart salivates at a mere thought-
dancing in my mind, I am caught
Twisted thoughts, temptations flare
Closed eyes, open mind... if I dare
I will always keep you near
In my soul you are deep and dear
The stake in my heart left a hole
Yet, it will not bleed, it remains full
In another life you may come to me
Where your true heart longs to be
Until then, the taste, bittersweet
And my heart forever skips a beat
13
looking inside you. where do we run today? scattered about
in the riches we love, unknowingly in the brilliance of light
from above. nothing to abstract you...to deform you,
or make you dark. the other side is full of wild sensation.
we can dip ourselves in the serenity of the unknown...
we can blend our fantasies together, create a whole new horizon.
doors swing open, and there's nothing but possibility.
endless passion unrolling in the purity of our existence.
I can feel you, which makes it impossible not
to expand our minds, and perfect our touch.
each second dies. the past is constantly behind us
like every wave that embraces the shoreline. each breath cries
this life is constantly with us like every star that shines.
you amaze me.
I can't help but explore your eyes, and run my fingers
through your hair. I watch you dream when you sleep.
I feel your spirit in the air that breathes,
in the sun that bleeds. I'm here to fulfill your aspirations,
and all your needs.
The child you once were, is still within you.
You're always that special little girl.
It's infinite like the universe.
limitless in all I see, and feel. having you beside me,
to endure all that is real
14
ou are the reason that God made the moon,
And starlight,
And midnight blue.
Then he crossed our paths at forever more,
And as they touched,
There sparkled a magic we couldn't ignore.
We walked together,
Timid at first,
But then,
Your eyes told mine as mine told yours.
It was God's will, it was destiney,
It was love from the first.
15
My darling love, so sweet and gentle,
Come to me and allow me to see the future of you and me.
What will become of our life together? Nobody knows.
Loving you is all that matters to me...
Holding you close, feeling you against me.
My heart flutters when you call my name and say "I love you."
Your lips so soft and gentle, like the drip of morning dew.
To me, life would not exist without you in it.
You are my life, my whole world.
My life-long happiness exists only deep within you.
Without you there would be only darkness.
You are my heart, soul, and my other half
16
The night is beautiful
stars shining so bright,
up at them I stare
looking for you, tonight.
Sitting alone
so far from you,
but feel as though
you are right here, too!
I miss you so
seems like forever
has now passed
since we spoke last.
Wanting to feel
the warmth of your touch
against my skin.
The night, the stars,
here alone...
missing you,
even though
you are in my heart.
Someday soon
will you be--
watching the stars
here with me?
17
Firelit lips dance
Warm
Wine tossed tongues touch
Sparking
Cheeks blush
Smiles and giggles
Lovers embrace
Gently
Then passionately
Eyes touch
Deep, soft
Sweet
Lips again
touch seeking touch
Tingling, shivering
Struggle for love
Toil for passion
Rising higher
Higher
As one
Holding
Time stops
Joining
Rising...
The moment stands still
The pounding of hearts
Marking time
Like the ripples on a pond
spreading
Mingling
And returning
Again
18
Will you be mine please?
You tease me with your beautiful looks.
Your love is as soft as a feather.
I will never forget your beautiful smile.
I see your face in the rain as it falls
through the night.
You're on my mind every minute of the day
so say you will be mine so we can be together
forever, forever together.
DATING: GOOD GUYS ...WE'RE OUT HERE
The Good Guys.We’re out here. Regardless if you’ve had the pleasure of enjoying our company or have, as of yet, missed experiencing what magic we can create in your life, we do exist. We’re the few but proud, the sweet but fiery, the strong yet humble. We’re the good guys and we’re simply asking for one chance; one chance to take your hand and capture your heart.
We’re the guys who will look you in the eye, softly shake your hand and respectfully smile when we’re first introduced. We’re the guys who will open the door for you and allow you to walk in ahead of us. We’re the guys who will pay for the entire meal and playfully scoff at you when you suggest we let you cover the tip. We’re the guys who know how to make you laugh and would never dream of making you cry. We’re the guys who wouldn’t dare disrespect you by pressuring you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. We’re the guys your friends approve of and wish they had. We’re the guys who are faithful to you and only you—respecting you when we’re with you and when we’re alone. We’re the guys who smile when we think of you and call just to say we’re thinking about you.
We’re the guys who write their own vows because no one else can properly express the way we feel about you. We’re the guys who make the best husbands because we treat you as an equal and not as a possession. We ‘re the guys who cook you dinner because we know you’ve had a rough day and going out to eat isn’t the same as eating a meal prepared with love. We’re the guys that protect you and allow you to feel safe when the world is beating down your door. We’re the guys who remember your favorite song and hum it to you when you’re falling asleep in our strong arms. We’re the guys who can be the spiritual leader of a relationship—building a foundation of prayer and devotion so that our house may stand strong in Him.
There’s an army of us gentlemen and we know how to treat a lady. We know what it takes to make you happy and we strive every day to put you ahead of ourselves. We’re out here and all we need is a moment—a moment to make you sigh sweetly and smile eternal. We’re the good guys and we do exist. We just need a chance.
We’re the guys who will look you in the eye, softly shake your hand and respectfully smile when we’re first introduced. We’re the guys who will open the door for you and allow you to walk in ahead of us. We’re the guys who will pay for the entire meal and playfully scoff at you when you suggest we let you cover the tip. We’re the guys who know how to make you laugh and would never dream of making you cry. We’re the guys who wouldn’t dare disrespect you by pressuring you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. We’re the guys your friends approve of and wish they had. We’re the guys who are faithful to you and only you—respecting you when we’re with you and when we’re alone. We’re the guys who smile when we think of you and call just to say we’re thinking about you.
We’re the guys who write their own vows because no one else can properly express the way we feel about you. We’re the guys who make the best husbands because we treat you as an equal and not as a possession. We ‘re the guys who cook you dinner because we know you’ve had a rough day and going out to eat isn’t the same as eating a meal prepared with love. We’re the guys that protect you and allow you to feel safe when the world is beating down your door. We’re the guys who remember your favorite song and hum it to you when you’re falling asleep in our strong arms. We’re the guys who can be the spiritual leader of a relationship—building a foundation of prayer and devotion so that our house may stand strong in Him.
There’s an army of us gentlemen and we know how to treat a lady. We know what it takes to make you happy and we strive every day to put you ahead of ourselves. We’re out here and all we need is a moment—a moment to make you sigh sweetly and smile eternal. We’re the good guys and we do exist. We just need a chance.
LOVE LETTER: MY DEAREST LOVE
My Dearest Love,
Each night I spend in wakeful agony, searching the farthest recesses of my mind for the words that express my feelings for you, but alas, they do not exist. All I know is that you have possessed me, taken over my every waking thought, and driven me to the depths of despair. I long for but a glance from your beautiful eyes, or the privilege to catch a gentle greeting falling from you lovely lips. Every word you have spoken to me I have treasured, like the most precious of jewels. How long will you torment me? How long must I wait unnoticed, before you turn your precious face, like the glorious sun towards me? You are the light of my existence. Do not tell me you cannot love me, or you will seal my fate in death. Do not turn me away. Oh, but give me one favorable smile, and I shall live. Even the smallest word of acceptance shall transport me to the highest realms of joy. I wait, faithfully longing for the day when you shall be mine.
End my Agony.
Each night I spend in wakeful agony, searching the farthest recesses of my mind for the words that express my feelings for you, but alas, they do not exist. All I know is that you have possessed me, taken over my every waking thought, and driven me to the depths of despair. I long for but a glance from your beautiful eyes, or the privilege to catch a gentle greeting falling from you lovely lips. Every word you have spoken to me I have treasured, like the most precious of jewels. How long will you torment me? How long must I wait unnoticed, before you turn your precious face, like the glorious sun towards me? You are the light of my existence. Do not tell me you cannot love me, or you will seal my fate in death. Do not turn me away. Oh, but give me one favorable smile, and I shall live. Even the smallest word of acceptance shall transport me to the highest realms of joy. I wait, faithfully longing for the day when you shall be mine.
End my Agony.
LOVE: LOVE TRULY CHANGES PEOPLE
Magic and fairy tales aside, true love changes people. When someone is truly loved, and truly loves someone else, they change into a better person. Sometimes it’s not so obvious, and sometimes it takes a while, but it happens. I remember once, a friend of mine I knew immediately that he would marry this woman. For the first time in his life he seemed completely grown-up, mature, strong and stable. It’s not that he wasn’t a good person before, it’s just that once he met her, he started to shine. They’ve been married almost 3 years.
When you know you are loved, you want to be better, at least for that person. You stop thinking about “me” and start thinking about “you”. True love can transform people. It’s what we were designed for. Maybe that’s why, in the fairy tales, true love’s kiss solves all the problems. In the real world, it’s not an instant change, but it can be just as real.
Saying you "love" someone is a lot easier than really loving them. Loving is unconditional, meaning there is no conditions that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all one needs to look at is the actions of that person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. Should some one claim they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that would not in my book be considered love.
You really don't know how much someone loves you. Love isn't a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale movie of "love at first sight." (I wonder what she or he will look like in "love at first sight" in 50 years' time!!) There has to be a common bond. A place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Because.... People in love will purposely hurt each other with spiteful words and actions. Hoping that the other will understand by forgiving and comforting. But.. that kind of unconditional love is very rare. Its too easy to give up and see if the grass is greener elsewhere.
Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself. That's it.
Love is something that you grow into like a young child growing into teenager clothing. Love just don't happen overnight, in one day or in one week for that matter. I think what people feel for each other in the beginning is more attraction and curiosity and with time it can change into love, but in order for true love to happen there has to be trust, honesty, sincerity and compassion in the relationship. That is the only way you really get to know that person and to know if that person really loves you.
Love is something you are sure about there is no doubt. It's a strong feeling you can't explain, But you know - because you can feel it. Everyone can show love, but can they feel love. We all show our love in different ways. How about the greatest couple, who's husband buys her flowers and gifts and takes her out on a regular basis, and we all say how lucky she is, and than BOOM... The next thing you hear is they are going through a bitter divorce... and nobody can believe it. Why - because he showed his love through guilt, but she never felt love, oh sure she got a lot of flowers and gifts, but none of that matters if you don't feel love. So just because someone doesn't show you love but you can feel it - than you know it's love. You know the feeling I'm talking about... You can't make someone love you, yea in time they might grow to love, but that's a different kind of love (we all love are coffee in the morning, but were not in love with our coffee)Point being when you love someone they will love you back, there will be no doubts, because you know in your heart. He Loves Me. They don't need time to think about it.
Love is a mindset that commits one person to engage into actions that include sacrifice, respect and compromise for the purpose of benefiting the person being loved. They are carried out with respect to the other person. Without respect, there's no love. True love is a continual process over time; it is not the "fuzzy feelings" or the "intense physical chemistry/attraction". These are simply lust. Unfortunately so many woman are just looking for one thing....Chemistry and because of that they are so easily confused between love and lust.
From what I know remember from medicine....love is commitment made in our cerebral cortex secondary to a brief period of excitement generated by our pleasure-seeking center, hypothalamus. Lust is a singular hormonal/emotional response driven by our pleasure seeking brain center. Love includes emotional response and actions. With only emotional responses, it's mere lust and fantasy. It is essential to have a clear definition of what love encompasses in one's mind. It can avoid a lot of hurtful feelings and encounters in dating.
Like everything in life, love is relative. It means many different things to many different people. Perhaps this is because it is only an idea. Imagine if everyone who read the same description of a character in a story saw the exact same visual image in their mind? Same thing with love...each person will have a distinct idea of it.
For me, love is caring about the person, being there for them no matter what it costs you (physically, emotionally, etc.), and a willingness to endure all things necessary to keep that person in your life. So, do you love someone? It depends: Do you find yourself giving up other ventures just to spend an extra moment with them? Do you enjoy talking (really talking) with them? Does this person bring out a necessity in you to be the best you can be, not for your benefit, but for their benefit?
Probably the most universal sign of true love is friendship: Is this person your best friend? Because, if you two truly love each other, your time together will be like time spent between two best friends. Do you run around worried about what your best friend is doing? Do you ever question if you can trust your best friend? No! And that is the key. True love is when your lover is also your best friend. And that, I'm sorry to say, is very hard to achieve.
As far as the "fuzzy feeling" is concerned: How many of us have woken up on Christmas Morning and had this sudden rush of excitement: WOO WHOOO!! It's Christmas! It happen to me once.., I got that feeling when I wake up on a day I know I'll get to see her. We haven't had sex yet, so it's not a feeling in my pants. It is excitement that I finally have another opportunity to show her exactly how much she means to me, to let her know that I will always be there for her, and to and another notch to the ladder of trust that we must build. In short, it is excitement that I finally have an opportunity to do something to make her day a little more special, and seeing the smile on her face or a simple squeeze of my hand is plenty of a reward for my efforts.
LOVE is the feeling deep inside that tells you when you are apart that you desperately want to be back with your loved one. It is the feeling of wanting to be as one, together! One of the most important things (already mentioned many times) is that this person should be your "best friend" and should always be considered before anyone else. They are your "world", your "rock" and should be loved unconditionally 100% of the time. It is when you want to tell the world "I love this person and I want to grow old with this beautiful person".
One final thing (and this is strictly my opinion): If the two of you do not make each other laugh then there is no reason to pursue a relationship. After all, if you can't laugh all you can do is cry.
When you know you are loved, you want to be better, at least for that person. You stop thinking about “me” and start thinking about “you”. True love can transform people. It’s what we were designed for. Maybe that’s why, in the fairy tales, true love’s kiss solves all the problems. In the real world, it’s not an instant change, but it can be just as real.
Saying you "love" someone is a lot easier than really loving them. Loving is unconditional, meaning there is no conditions that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all one needs to look at is the actions of that person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. Should some one claim they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that would not in my book be considered love.
You really don't know how much someone loves you. Love isn't a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale movie of "love at first sight." (I wonder what she or he will look like in "love at first sight" in 50 years' time!!) There has to be a common bond. A place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Because.... People in love will purposely hurt each other with spiteful words and actions. Hoping that the other will understand by forgiving and comforting. But.. that kind of unconditional love is very rare. Its too easy to give up and see if the grass is greener elsewhere.
Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself. That's it.
Love is something that you grow into like a young child growing into teenager clothing. Love just don't happen overnight, in one day or in one week for that matter. I think what people feel for each other in the beginning is more attraction and curiosity and with time it can change into love, but in order for true love to happen there has to be trust, honesty, sincerity and compassion in the relationship. That is the only way you really get to know that person and to know if that person really loves you.
Love is something you are sure about there is no doubt. It's a strong feeling you can't explain, But you know - because you can feel it. Everyone can show love, but can they feel love. We all show our love in different ways. How about the greatest couple, who's husband buys her flowers and gifts and takes her out on a regular basis, and we all say how lucky she is, and than BOOM... The next thing you hear is they are going through a bitter divorce... and nobody can believe it. Why - because he showed his love through guilt, but she never felt love, oh sure she got a lot of flowers and gifts, but none of that matters if you don't feel love. So just because someone doesn't show you love but you can feel it - than you know it's love. You know the feeling I'm talking about... You can't make someone love you, yea in time they might grow to love, but that's a different kind of love (we all love are coffee in the morning, but were not in love with our coffee)Point being when you love someone they will love you back, there will be no doubts, because you know in your heart. He Loves Me. They don't need time to think about it.
Love is a mindset that commits one person to engage into actions that include sacrifice, respect and compromise for the purpose of benefiting the person being loved. They are carried out with respect to the other person. Without respect, there's no love. True love is a continual process over time; it is not the "fuzzy feelings" or the "intense physical chemistry/attraction". These are simply lust. Unfortunately so many woman are just looking for one thing....Chemistry and because of that they are so easily confused between love and lust.
From what I know remember from medicine....love is commitment made in our cerebral cortex secondary to a brief period of excitement generated by our pleasure-seeking center, hypothalamus. Lust is a singular hormonal/emotional response driven by our pleasure seeking brain center. Love includes emotional response and actions. With only emotional responses, it's mere lust and fantasy. It is essential to have a clear definition of what love encompasses in one's mind. It can avoid a lot of hurtful feelings and encounters in dating.
Like everything in life, love is relative. It means many different things to many different people. Perhaps this is because it is only an idea. Imagine if everyone who read the same description of a character in a story saw the exact same visual image in their mind? Same thing with love...each person will have a distinct idea of it.
For me, love is caring about the person, being there for them no matter what it costs you (physically, emotionally, etc.), and a willingness to endure all things necessary to keep that person in your life. So, do you love someone? It depends: Do you find yourself giving up other ventures just to spend an extra moment with them? Do you enjoy talking (really talking) with them? Does this person bring out a necessity in you to be the best you can be, not for your benefit, but for their benefit?
Probably the most universal sign of true love is friendship: Is this person your best friend? Because, if you two truly love each other, your time together will be like time spent between two best friends. Do you run around worried about what your best friend is doing? Do you ever question if you can trust your best friend? No! And that is the key. True love is when your lover is also your best friend. And that, I'm sorry to say, is very hard to achieve.
As far as the "fuzzy feeling" is concerned: How many of us have woken up on Christmas Morning and had this sudden rush of excitement: WOO WHOOO!! It's Christmas! It happen to me once.., I got that feeling when I wake up on a day I know I'll get to see her. We haven't had sex yet, so it's not a feeling in my pants. It is excitement that I finally have another opportunity to show her exactly how much she means to me, to let her know that I will always be there for her, and to and another notch to the ladder of trust that we must build. In short, it is excitement that I finally have an opportunity to do something to make her day a little more special, and seeing the smile on her face or a simple squeeze of my hand is plenty of a reward for my efforts.
LOVE is the feeling deep inside that tells you when you are apart that you desperately want to be back with your loved one. It is the feeling of wanting to be as one, together! One of the most important things (already mentioned many times) is that this person should be your "best friend" and should always be considered before anyone else. They are your "world", your "rock" and should be loved unconditionally 100% of the time. It is when you want to tell the world "I love this person and I want to grow old with this beautiful person".
One final thing (and this is strictly my opinion): If the two of you do not make each other laugh then there is no reason to pursue a relationship. After all, if you can't laugh all you can do is cry.
THOUGHTS: A PATIENT NAME MIKE
Once upon a time I had a patient who was severely burned over most of his body. Six weeks after his 27th birthday, he didn’t realize that there was a gas leak in the stove in his apartment, so he lit a match and his entire kitchen blew up. He barely survived. When he got out of the hospital four months later, his nose and fingers and ears were burnt nubs and his skin was more hide than flesh, like that of a pink lizard with mean streaks of white glazed over the top. I’ll call him Mike.
A rich man, thanks to the accident, having received a settlement from the gas company. He’d grown up lower middle class, He bought exquisite food and outrageously overpriced booze. He collected art and hung it in a series of hip and tony lofts. He wore impeccable clothes and drove around in fancy cars. He loved having money. He often said that being burned was the best thing that had ever happened to him. That if he could travel back in time he would not unlight that match. To unlight the match would be to lose the money that had brought him so much happiness. He had an incredible life, he said, and he was grateful for it.
But there was one thing. One tiny thing. He was sorry he couldn’t have love. Romantic love. Sexual love. Love love. Love.
“But you can!” I insisted, though it’s true that when I first met him I was skittish about holding his gaze because he was, in fact, a ghastly sight, his body a rough yet tender landscape of the excruciatingly painful and the distorted familiar.But after a while, he became more than a patient I had to take care of. He became my friend. By then, I’d forgotten that he looked like a monster. It was the strangest thing, but it was true, how profoundly my vision of Ian changed once I knew him. How his burnt face became instead his bright blue eyes, his scarred and stumpy hands, the sound of his voice. It wasn’t that I couldn’t see his monstrosity anymore. It was still there in all its grotesque glory. But alongside it there was something else, something more ferocious: his beauty.
Mike would not hear a word of it. To so much as contemplate the possibility of a girlfriend was unbearable to him. He’d made the decision to close himself off to romantic love way back when he was still in the hospital. No one would love a man as ugly as him, he thought. When I argued with him, he said that I had no idea about the importance of looks. When I told him I thought there were surely a few women on the planet willing to love a burned man, he said he would make do with the occasional services of a prostitute. When I said I thought that his refusal to open himself up to romantic love was based on fear and conquering that fear was the last thing he had to heal from the trauma of his accident, he said the discussion was over.
And so it was. Mike told me the entire story of how he got burned.. He said he’d just woken up and that he was gazing absently at a sleeve of saltine crackers on the counter the moment his kitchen flashed into blue flame. He was amazed to see the crackers and the sleeve disintegrate and disappear in an instant. It seemed to him a beautiful, almost magical occurrence, and then, in the next moment, he realized that he was engulfed in the blue flame and disintegrating too. He told me about falling down onto the floor and moaning and how his roommate had awakened but been too afraid to come to him, so instead he yelled words of comfort to Ian from another room. It was the people who’d been on the sidewalk down below and seen the windows blow out of his apartment who’d been the first to call 911. He told me about how the paramedics talked to him kindly as they carried him down the stairs on a stretcher and how one of them told him that he might die and how he cried out at the thought of that and how the way he sounded to himself in that cry was the last thing he remembered before he lost consciousness for weeks.
And just recently I found out he killed himself. It would be so easy to trace Mike’s death back to that match, the one he said he would not unlight if he could. The one that made him appear to be a monster and therefore unfit for romantic love, while also making him rich and therefore happy. That match is so temptingly symbolic, like something hard and golden in a fairy tale that exacts a price equal to its power.
But I don’t think his death can be traced back to that. I think it goes back to his decision to close himself off to romantic love, to refuse to allow himself even the possibility of something so very essential because of something so superficial as the way he looked.
His death got me to thinking....you will never have my permission to close yourself off to love and give up. Never. You must do everything you can to get what you want and need, to find “that type of love.” It’s there for you. I know it’s arrogant of me to say so, because what the hell do I know about looking like a monster or a beast? Not a thing. But I do know that we are here, all of us — beasts and monsters and beauties and wallflowers alike — to do the best we can. And every last one of us can do better than give up.
The journey to find love isn’t going to be average either. You’re going to have to be brave. You’re going to have to walk into the darkest woods without a stick. A lot of people will immediately X you out as a romantic partner. That’s okay. You don’t need those people. By stepping aside, they’ve done you a favor. Because what you’ve got left after the fools have departed are the old souls and the true hearts. Those are the uber-cool sparkle rocket mind blowers we’re after. Those are the people worthy of your love.
By way of offering up evidence there are alot of movies in which “the ugly characters are redeemed by being made beautiful in time to catch the eye of their love interest,” but that’s not a story I buy We are way more ancient than that. We have better, truer stories. You know that fairy tale called Beauty and the Beast? Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont abridged Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve’s original La Belle et la Bête in 1756 and it is her version that most of us know today. There are many details that I’ll omit here, but the story goes roughly like this:
A beautiful young woman named Belle lives with a beast in a castle. Belle is touched by the beast’s grace and generosity and compelled by his sensitive intelligence, but each night when the beast asks Belle to marry him, she declines because she’s repulsed by his appearance. One day she leaves the beast to visit her family. She and the beast agree that she’ll return in a week, but when she doesn’t the beast is bereft. In sorrow, he goes into the rose garden and collapses. That is how Belle finds him when she returns, half-dead from heartbreak. Seeing him in this state, she realizes that she truly loves him. Not just as a friend, but in that way, and so she professes her love and weeps. When her tears fall onto the beast, he is transformed into a handsome prince.
What I want you to note is that Belle loved the beast when he was still a beast — not a handsome prince. It is only once she loved him that he was transformed. love transforms us all. But you have to be fearless enough to let it transform you.
How may of us closing ourself off from the possibility of romance before anyone has the chance to feel romantically toward us? I believe once you allow yourself to be psychologically ready to give and receive love, your best course is to do what everyone who is looking for love does: put your best self out there with as much transparence and sincerity and humor as possible. Both online and in person. With strangers and among your circle of friends. Inhabit the beauty that lives in your body and strive to see the beauty in all the other beasts. Walk without a stick into the darkest woods. Believe that the fairy tale is true.
A rich man, thanks to the accident, having received a settlement from the gas company. He’d grown up lower middle class, He bought exquisite food and outrageously overpriced booze. He collected art and hung it in a series of hip and tony lofts. He wore impeccable clothes and drove around in fancy cars. He loved having money. He often said that being burned was the best thing that had ever happened to him. That if he could travel back in time he would not unlight that match. To unlight the match would be to lose the money that had brought him so much happiness. He had an incredible life, he said, and he was grateful for it.
But there was one thing. One tiny thing. He was sorry he couldn’t have love. Romantic love. Sexual love. Love love. Love.
“But you can!” I insisted, though it’s true that when I first met him I was skittish about holding his gaze because he was, in fact, a ghastly sight, his body a rough yet tender landscape of the excruciatingly painful and the distorted familiar.But after a while, he became more than a patient I had to take care of. He became my friend. By then, I’d forgotten that he looked like a monster. It was the strangest thing, but it was true, how profoundly my vision of Ian changed once I knew him. How his burnt face became instead his bright blue eyes, his scarred and stumpy hands, the sound of his voice. It wasn’t that I couldn’t see his monstrosity anymore. It was still there in all its grotesque glory. But alongside it there was something else, something more ferocious: his beauty.
Mike would not hear a word of it. To so much as contemplate the possibility of a girlfriend was unbearable to him. He’d made the decision to close himself off to romantic love way back when he was still in the hospital. No one would love a man as ugly as him, he thought. When I argued with him, he said that I had no idea about the importance of looks. When I told him I thought there were surely a few women on the planet willing to love a burned man, he said he would make do with the occasional services of a prostitute. When I said I thought that his refusal to open himself up to romantic love was based on fear and conquering that fear was the last thing he had to heal from the trauma of his accident, he said the discussion was over.
And so it was. Mike told me the entire story of how he got burned.. He said he’d just woken up and that he was gazing absently at a sleeve of saltine crackers on the counter the moment his kitchen flashed into blue flame. He was amazed to see the crackers and the sleeve disintegrate and disappear in an instant. It seemed to him a beautiful, almost magical occurrence, and then, in the next moment, he realized that he was engulfed in the blue flame and disintegrating too. He told me about falling down onto the floor and moaning and how his roommate had awakened but been too afraid to come to him, so instead he yelled words of comfort to Ian from another room. It was the people who’d been on the sidewalk down below and seen the windows blow out of his apartment who’d been the first to call 911. He told me about how the paramedics talked to him kindly as they carried him down the stairs on a stretcher and how one of them told him that he might die and how he cried out at the thought of that and how the way he sounded to himself in that cry was the last thing he remembered before he lost consciousness for weeks.
And just recently I found out he killed himself. It would be so easy to trace Mike’s death back to that match, the one he said he would not unlight if he could. The one that made him appear to be a monster and therefore unfit for romantic love, while also making him rich and therefore happy. That match is so temptingly symbolic, like something hard and golden in a fairy tale that exacts a price equal to its power.
But I don’t think his death can be traced back to that. I think it goes back to his decision to close himself off to romantic love, to refuse to allow himself even the possibility of something so very essential because of something so superficial as the way he looked.
His death got me to thinking....you will never have my permission to close yourself off to love and give up. Never. You must do everything you can to get what you want and need, to find “that type of love.” It’s there for you. I know it’s arrogant of me to say so, because what the hell do I know about looking like a monster or a beast? Not a thing. But I do know that we are here, all of us — beasts and monsters and beauties and wallflowers alike — to do the best we can. And every last one of us can do better than give up.
The journey to find love isn’t going to be average either. You’re going to have to be brave. You’re going to have to walk into the darkest woods without a stick. A lot of people will immediately X you out as a romantic partner. That’s okay. You don’t need those people. By stepping aside, they’ve done you a favor. Because what you’ve got left after the fools have departed are the old souls and the true hearts. Those are the uber-cool sparkle rocket mind blowers we’re after. Those are the people worthy of your love.
By way of offering up evidence there are alot of movies in which “the ugly characters are redeemed by being made beautiful in time to catch the eye of their love interest,” but that’s not a story I buy We are way more ancient than that. We have better, truer stories. You know that fairy tale called Beauty and the Beast? Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont abridged Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve’s original La Belle et la Bête in 1756 and it is her version that most of us know today. There are many details that I’ll omit here, but the story goes roughly like this:
A beautiful young woman named Belle lives with a beast in a castle. Belle is touched by the beast’s grace and generosity and compelled by his sensitive intelligence, but each night when the beast asks Belle to marry him, she declines because she’s repulsed by his appearance. One day she leaves the beast to visit her family. She and the beast agree that she’ll return in a week, but when she doesn’t the beast is bereft. In sorrow, he goes into the rose garden and collapses. That is how Belle finds him when she returns, half-dead from heartbreak. Seeing him in this state, she realizes that she truly loves him. Not just as a friend, but in that way, and so she professes her love and weeps. When her tears fall onto the beast, he is transformed into a handsome prince.
What I want you to note is that Belle loved the beast when he was still a beast — not a handsome prince. It is only once she loved him that he was transformed. love transforms us all. But you have to be fearless enough to let it transform you.
How may of us closing ourself off from the possibility of romance before anyone has the chance to feel romantically toward us? I believe once you allow yourself to be psychologically ready to give and receive love, your best course is to do what everyone who is looking for love does: put your best self out there with as much transparence and sincerity and humor as possible. Both online and in person. With strangers and among your circle of friends. Inhabit the beauty that lives in your body and strive to see the beauty in all the other beasts. Walk without a stick into the darkest woods. Believe that the fairy tale is true.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)