Friday, July 27, 2012

SPIRITUAL/LOVE:WHEN YOU THINK SHE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

It seem like I always get the woman that i don't want to fall head-over-heels in love with me, but when I find someone I want, I fail miserably. From what I know about spirituality the real issue here is what is the problem that "wanting" is causing? If you can have the ones you don't want wrapped around your finger as love slaves, then something about you "wanting" someone is what's causing the real problem here.

Let's examine what I think my problems is: Just like that movie "She out of my league" ...sometimes..the one I
want...deep inside i feel like I am not good enough for her. He's out of my league / I'm not good enough for him- When you BELIEVE and ASSUME that you are irresistibly attractive and that a woman (or any woman ) wants you hardcore, it often comes about. My beliefs are completely under my control. But I need to step up and stop programming my mind with garbage.I have to stop falling into the trap of telling the only-the-ones-I-don't-want-want-me sob story, STOP IT and never do it again.Instead, start "brainwashing myself" into this belief:

The ones I want the most will find me irresistible and they want me, hard. You're only not good enough when YOU decide that you aren't good enough. I need to stop being deperate. I wasn't like this before I got
divorce, but I think what happen to me weaken my self

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

LOVE/PERSONAL: WHEN SOMEONE LOVES YOU, THE WAY THEY SAY YOUR NAME IS DIFFERENT

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.Its strange how a single, important moment in one person's life might not even be memorable to another.You can close your eyes to things that you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel.

I can't be with someone who has doubts, no matter how small they are. I need someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I don't want just part of your heart, I want all of it. It's funny how when someone says they love you, you can't really feel it, but when they say they don't love you anymore, you can feel every ounce of what was drained out of your entire being. Whenever you leave something you loved so much that meant the entire world to you, there comes a long procession reaction to it. You're thrust into something that feels like somewhere you've never been before, but it's the exact same place you've been in. Sometimes your heart needs a long restart to realize how it feels to be off your sleeve, and back in your own chest. It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't coma back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.One day, it all catches up with you. Every ended relationship, every tear shed, every broken heart. You pick up the pieces, you brush them off and you put them back together, only each time you need a little more glue. Then just like that, glue;s not enough anymore. The cracks, the holes, the
shattered dreams? They're a part of you. Try as you might, you can't fix what's been broken, and you can't mend what/s been torn.

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. I wanna do something that matters. Say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. I wanna do something better, with the time I've been given, and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life and leave nothing less than something that says I was here.

LOVE/PERSONAL: LAST NIGHT I DREAMT ABOUT YOU

Last night I dreamt about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally somehow you caught fire.

I ask myself why, and in that same breath, as I watch you, I get my answer. It's everything about you; it's that teasing smile, that warm scent. It's the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. It's just everything about you. But more than that, it's everything about me. It's everything about the way you make me laugh,cry, smile, and hurt. It's everything about the way you make me feel. And that's everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go of.

The only two places where I feel absolutely safe are either in a bed with fresh, white sheets and pillows surrounding my head or in water. Like on the bottom of a swimming pool. Alone. Weightless. Peaceful. Nobody talking. Nobody pretending. Just being. Those are only two places. Everywhere else I get smacked in the face with arrogance, ignorance, shallowness. They knock me down and leave me bleeding on the floor.

I remember an ex girlfriend said to me....What I find very attractive, what I find sexual, are people who are unapologetic for who they are and comfortable with themselves. And I think with those two things sexual energy does come out because you're not hovering or censoring yourself, you're just being who you are. And being who you are is a very attractive quality in a person.

Laying under a blanket, cuddling close to you, feeling your breath on my skin, taking every sense that you have within. Your lips touch my shoulder, kissing me so sweet, making my heart skip every other beat. .

THOUGHTS: LIVING ON EARTH

Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. That's who I am. Now, forget me, Go home.

THOUGHTS: EVERYONE ALWAYS TELL YOU NO

All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this.They will tell you no, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them yes.

LOVE: FROM CUTE TO GORGEOUS

Cute is when you peek up at me with that goofy half-smile, glance over my shoulder, and after a fraction of a second to return to lock my gaze, and your lips stretch into a deeper crescent. Sexy is when you stride up to me, your long legs drumming that perfect background beat, words forming on your lips with a disruptive type of relevance, and your half-cocked eyebrow inclining in my direction. Hot is when your hair is still halfway damp from your early-morning shower, and the strands adhere themselves to the tip of your neck, and as you raise your backpack, the muscles in your arms glide beneath your skin before you turn to face me. Stunning is when you position yourself next to me in a casually deliberate pose, and then follow me out the back door, with your loping gait aligning with your laughter at my silly antics. Gorgeous is when you look down, nodding empathetically, searching for the most accurate portrayal of your feelings, as you
move your hands towards mine. Sensational is when you say my name and your deep tone reverberates through my bone marrow, starts shivers down my spine. There's not a word in the English language that isn't tinted with you. There is no vowel that doesn't carry the image of your face.

LOVE: LOVE IS LIKE AN ADDICTION

I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speed ball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is with held, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know she has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because she used to give it to you for free).

Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. She looks at you like you're someone she's never met before, much less someone she once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame her. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS WHEN THIS HAIR IS WHITE

I will love you always. When this hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face,I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.

SPRITUAL: DESTINY ONLY COMES INTO ACTION WHEN YOU ARE PASSIVE

Imagine you decide to boil some milk on fire. Obviously, after a certain time you must act to remove milk from fire. Now imagine that you just get distracted and forget the boiling etc. The consequence? You are letting the nature to take its course by allowing fire to take milk to the boiling point, consequently milk would spill out and that can have further consequences from most milk going waste to the kitchen in flames.

Quite similarly destiny ONLY comes into action when you are being passive and BECOME inactive. If you act in DUE TIME using your intelligence & will power - destiny or nature will remain inactive. In simple words, when you act, take decisions with responsibility and follow your actions and their consequences - you remain in charge of you rSELF, if you distract and abandon the actions or their consequent reactions & become passive, the destiny takes charge and continue with the course of actions till they reach to the end. Nature only overtakes human actions when humans run away or leave their course open. The course of nature is very NATURAL & it will only follow a natural path.

The nature's path may appear to be brute and unbearable for human beings but nature works by following the mathemetical formulas of nature - which are accurate, precise and incessant. Before the NATURE takes charge - you control your own actions and let the destiny continue to be 'behind' you. IF you do NOT lead your ownself - nature will lead you. You can stay passive but destiny is hyper active phenomenon which is always running behind the scenes.

LOVE/PERSONAL: MY HOPELESS HEART

My Hopeless Heart

Petrified, body trembling uncontrollably as every nerve ending violently pulsates. My heart wants to burst from my body as I stare out the window to the backyard that overlooks a magnificent lake, and was once a beautiful backdrop to a loving home. Frozen in place with the phone to one ear, I listen in disbelief to the cruel words coming from the woman who is my entire world. At this moment, it seems as though she can easily dismiss my life as if it never meant anything to her. Confused and traumatized, I pull the hammer back on the gun and put my finger on the trigger. Gasping for air, I struggle to find each breath as I uncontrollably hyperventilate. My Breathing is so erratic that when I speak saliva spews from my mouth and drools down my chin. I'm losing control of all emotions. I can't think straight, and I don't even know who I am anymore. How did I get here? I'm in utter distress as I put the gun to my head and demand, "Tell me now! Do you
still love me or not?"

LOVE: HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS CRAZY INSANE SOUL AND HEART CONNECTION

When two persons in love once and still is and yet one of them not doing anything to bring the relationship forward because of fear or million reasons created just to give excuse not to be with the person she loved. Yet deep in her heart she does love and miss and think of her true love all the time. Is frustrating to encounter this kind of love , you do not know you are going or coming and you didn't understand why this person love you in her heart and yet wont do anything about it. What she is feeling you feel it too and when she misses you , you miss her too.

The telepathic & soul connection is so strong , you could feel the person evens they are not in the room and you wonder whether you are going crazy and is driving you to despair , you try to tell yourself to forget this love and move on but each time you almost success to do that , she crept back in your dreams unexpectedly and you had visions & hear songs that remind you of the times you both spend together. All these make it impossible to build on a new love or new relationship and you wonder why is this person haunting you day and night. You start to question maybe it was just you who are obsess with this love , then again your instinct telling you that is not the case because you did try your very best to start a new relationship and there are times you never even think of her. She crept back suddenly and at the most intimate times in the night to remind you of her. Is like you are actually sharing one soul , she can feel whatever you think and feel and is like a part of you.

Some psychic would tell you because of a past life together and the cord is not cut , meaning she still emotionally , spiritually tied to you so you feel her around even when she is not there , you keep wondering and pondering over this even you dint really believe in past life. Then again how people connect together is amazing , you can be seeing someone everyday and there is not any connection at all. You met someone and is like a lighting strike you so hard , you feel you found your other half and connection. What good is this strong love if there is no future unless a miracle happens and finally bring them back together.

When you get frustrated with your strong feelings you will shout into the air and tell her not to think of you anymore or miss you so that your soul can move on and not be in pain. You wonder if one of them truly found another strong love this connection might eventually break away. You cant control how your heart feels for another and you cant tell your heart to try to love someone. Is a natural feelings and is pure from the honest heart. The mind can play tricks and give you a million reasons to stop what you are feeling but deep down you know what is the truth in your heart . You will not able to stop this strong love unless you go for a heart transplant and has someone else heart planted on you then perhaps things might be different because
you have a change of heart and no longer feel the same , by then you believe the soul connection might somehow be broken. There are reports about how heart transplant patient feel differently after getting a
new heart . Chances are our souls are connected to our organs and the most important organ is the heart , when our heart stops , everything dies except the soul.

Changing a new heart would be too drastic just to forget a strong love , so how do you explain this crazy insane soul and heart connection with someone ?

SPIRITUAL/ LOVE: CONTINUE THESE LESSONS WITH THE SAME SOULS

We choose life as thinking, feeling human beings so we can learn to express God's love by the way we think and the way we feel. It's a lesson that takes hundred – sometimes thousands – of lifetimes to learn. We may choose, in-between lifetimes, to continue these lessons with the same souls we've learned with before. That's what makes up "soul mates."

It's a pretty rough when you think of coming together with another soul lifetime after lifetime after lifetime, trying to get 'universal love' right. Because we are thinking, feeling human beings, we have a tendency to let our ideas (or expectations), our feelings (relative to the present relationship or not) and our physical drives (especially sexual ones) be the driving force in our relationships, regardless of what level we may be relating on.

Choosing to respond from a carnal level instead of from a spiritual one incurs karmic debt, which means that we have to be on the receiving end of our carnal response sooner or later. The learning cycle goes on and on and on until we've related enough to know, from our own experience, that responding with love to every person, event and circumstance that comes into our lives is the only way to go.

In themeantime, while we're still learning our lessons on love, we live our lives as thinking, feeling human beings, and each time we meet someone who feels comfortable to us – someone who is so much more
familiar to us than the other people in our lives – we think we must be in love. And we LIKE thinking we're in love, because being in love is a driving force in all of us. How could we ever be in a position to learn the lessons we came here to learn if we aren't?

That's when the fairy tale aspect of the soul mate dilemma comes to light, and we begin to realize that romantic love isn't always the driving force in a soul mate relationship. The goal, we come to understand, is the opportunity to choose and express love and acceptance for each other, even if neither of us is who the other hoped we would be.

That's where the most difficult soul mate relationship lessons come into play. We have to make a choice, and it's no easy choice to make. Do we let the 'love of our life' go, because we love them and want them to be in a relationship where they can be accepted for who they are, or do we stay in the relationship, hoping that something that we do on an emotional, mental or physical level will change them into the person we want them to be?


What's a loving soul mate to do?

THOUGHTS/ LOVE/JOURNAL: SEX MEANS LOVE

Some years ago I met a beautiful German girl. She was captivating and I liked looking at her, but she was drunk and chain smoking - not my type. As we talked to her one the phone though, I felt something about her pulling me in. It didn't make sense, but I went with it anyway. We spent the following week together sharing, holding, looking, talking, touching...and then one evening, for no apparent reason, I said to her, "You know...I'm not in love with you". She looked at me strangely. I had no clue why had I said such a thing. Throughout our relationship however, it became clear why I had said it. I was afraid to love her. I was afraid that loving her would distract me from what I wanted at the time - both in life and in a woman. I had created so much pressure between my fear of settling and my love for her that the truth had literally leapt from my mouth. Do not be so stuck in your search for a "perfect partner" that you confuse settling with love, fear love and miss out on finding a soul mate. Another reason I may fear love, is that I fear loss."What if she's not that into me?" or "What if I scare her away?" This is the essence of life. The pleasure of love is inextricably bound to the pain of losing it. If you want to feel love, you must be brave enough to feel loss. And I guess that is why I usually want someone to surrender to me on the first date. I am afraid of rejection. To most men...sex means love....it means acceptance..it means you love me.

LOVE/ PERSONAL/ THOUGHTS: THE UNEXPECTED MEETING

The unexpected meeting of a woman who I believe to be my true soulmate made me challenge my entire belief principles. I first knew that there was something extraordinary at play when I first looked into her eyes. For what seemed like ages we were locked in a fathomless stare, searching through blurred past memories for answers or clues that would explain the spiritual experience we were having. It was like I had found someone that I'd lost and my soul was rejoicing by doing somersaults and happy dances inside me. I noticed the expression of astonishment on her face as she met my gaze with equal intensity. Unashamedly and without conscience, I allowed my secret passion for the stranger to overwhelm me. Our subsequent meetings only served to intensify the emotions. The energy flying about the room we inhabited was palpable and we feared our blatant attraction was transparent to others. When we were together in a room full of people it felt like we were connected by a cord that was pulling us together like a magnetic force. It seemed like she was the only one in the room and I was always aware of her presence, even if she was out of sight. I had a need to be with her at all times and to divulge all my dark secrets, which I did without regret. In only a short period she knew more about me than anyone in the world.

The moment our eyes met it happened... leaping heart, weak knees and a raw, enigmatic physical attraction. Her eyes were not windows to her soul but mirrors, reflecting my own soul back and sending shivers of joy down my spine. I was not prepared for the mysterious and breathtaking occurrences that transpired as we became more acquainted. I was swept away in a torrent so tumultuous that I feared I may have lost my mind. It was a total spiritual and physical awakening, like the fog had lifted and I was experiencing an old life through the eyes of a child. Everything had new meaning. The simple beauty of nature had me gasping in awe, every song had a meaning and life seemed so abundant. Physically I experienced amazing natural highs, a heightened sense of awareness and limitless creative and physical energy that I could not expend. I survived on very little sleep and I glowed with happiness. I couldn't stop dancing. When I left her I felt a smouldering, physical ache deep within my core and a longing that couldn't be satisfied. Our union was motivated by a strong urge to fulfill a purposeful mission together. That very duty compelled us to create a spiritual embassy that has touched the lives of many others. We are well aware that our meeting was instrumental to our success and that we could never have achieved our dreams singlehandedly or with anyone else.

REVIEW: THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

In the movie, 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', Daisy and Benjamin immediately recognise their soul mate connection when they first meet, but their life circumstances are less than ideal. The immediate and burgeoning love that they have for each other overcomes great odds, but finally ends in heartbreak because Benjamin is experiencing life backwards. He is growing younger as time elapses and Daisy is growing old. Although separated through the years, they stay friends throughout their lives, reuniting as lovers when they
simultaneously reach an age that allows them to create a love child. Sadly they part when the fear of physical regression overcomes Benjamin, who does not want to be a burden to his family

Though this example of a painful soul mate journey is fictitious, it is not unlike real life sagas told throughout history about couples not able to fully consummate their soul mate relationship due to life's complications. Tortured accounts of unfulfilled love between real-life soul mates could be due to the amount of unresolved karma perpetuated over the times spent apart during various incarnations. Individuals who are fortunate enough to meet their soul partner in life may need to balance negative karma before they can experience bliss together. This is due to our innate and known propensity to be corruptible and to err in the face of divine opportunity. In a nutshell, we can make some very bad decisions. The process of nurturing true and pure love with a soul partner therefore requires sacrifice of ego and communion with God to ready the soul for ultimate wholeness. For the soul mate partnership to be truly productive the individuals must have already attained some spiritual mastery during their journeys so that their eventual union will not be tainted.

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