Wednesday, July 25, 2012

LOVE/PERSONAL: MY HOPELESS HEART

My Hopeless Heart

Petrified, body trembling uncontrollably as every nerve ending violently pulsates. My heart wants to burst from my body as I stare out the window to the backyard that overlooks a magnificent lake, and was once a beautiful backdrop to a loving home. Frozen in place with the phone to one ear, I listen in disbelief to the cruel words coming from the woman who is my entire world. At this moment, it seems as though she can easily dismiss my life as if it never meant anything to her. Confused and traumatized, I pull the hammer back on the gun and put my finger on the trigger. Gasping for air, I struggle to find each breath as I uncontrollably hyperventilate. My Breathing is so erratic that when I speak saliva spews from my mouth and drools down my chin. I'm losing control of all emotions. I can't think straight, and I don't even know who I am anymore. How did I get here? I'm in utter distress as I put the gun to my head and demand, "Tell me now! Do you
still love me or not?"

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