Are you waiting for the right person to live happily ever after? I guarantee you’ll wait forever. Where is this right person? Well, there will never be the right person because of our ever-changing expectations. Remember, there is no right person. We BECOME the RIGHT person and every moment after that becomes the right moment and every relationship after that becomes the right relationship because happiness becomes apart of who we are....and that is what I am doing all my life...to become the right person.
There comes a time in your life, when you must walk away from all the drama and people who thrive on it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and love the ones who don’t…from a distance…allowing them to BE in their own way. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life; getting back up is living
I know your life is empty, and you hate to face this world alone, so you're searching for someone that can make you whole. Here I am ...my heart, my life, my soul....you have the key to them all. You but need to turn the key and allow me to surround you... with my warmth and love. I understand the impulse: the impulse to want to put out your hand and want someone to be there at the end of your reach... to want someone to be close to.... to want to kiss or touch. Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me, and emptyness that at times, seems to burn. I think that if you lifted my heart to your ears, you could hear the ocean. And the moon tonight, there's a circle around it, a sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole, of not going to sleep each night wanting. But still, sometimes, when the wind is warm and the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me, I want to be seen.
We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, and hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives. True love is when your heart and your minds are saying the same thing. Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, Shall win my love. You know what I want? I want to be someone's reason for waking up, someone's reason for going through another day. Just once, I want to be the one being wished for, I want a woman to say to herself, 'I'm so lucky to have him.' To put it simply, I want to be someone's everything. What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction. I just want someone to say to me, I'll always be there when you need me
Sunday, July 8, 2012
PERSONAL/LOVE: FAMILY USED TO CALL ME "HOPELESS ROMANTIC"
Friends and family used to call me a "Hopeless romantic," but after so many years, they understand now that I approach potential love with strength and maturity. When I fall, I may fall harder than most, but I also get back up and somehow rise up a more loving and giving person...not that I am perfect, far from it. However, I don't wither, but instead blossom and deepen in color like a rose reaching it's full potential. I have experienced the highs and lows of relationships. I acknowledge the pitfalls; yet find the lessons they offer fascinating. I am capable of giving and sharing my complete and honest self, including my strengths and weaknesses. I am not afraid, even when I acknowledge a move to be bold and scary. Always out to learn and grow more to reach my greater potential, I no doubt chose the exceptional and extraordinary. This is a class all by itself. Neither money nor success alone can define it, but you must match me in this way. Beauty does not stand on its own here, either, but I must find you attractive by my standards. Inner beauty, strength inside and out, the ambition to be significant in this world and the knowledge to understand the difference between success and significance are but a few qualities, which define this echelon. I am looking for extraordinary and exceptional love, one that lasts a lifetime, like my grandparents shared. I meet plenty of potentially qualified women. Some become really good friends. Still, I continue searching for that one person, who is the right fit for me, the person who feels like home, someone who inspires me to be an even better person, like I will inspire her. That is something worth waiting for. I am not looking for the illusion. I want the reality. If I don't discover it in you or you in me, I wish you the best in your search. If what I said resonates with you to the fullest, then you decide what you want to do about that. I won't waste your time, as mine is precious, as well. It's only personal, in that I know what I want, and I won't settle for less. I live a great life. I don't need someone. I want a partner, a distinct difference. I am lucky to know it.
PERSONAL/ THOUGHTS/LOVE: WE BECOME THE RIGHT PERSON
Are you waiting for the right person to live happily ever after? I guarantee you’ll wait forever. Where is this right person? Well, there will never be the right person because of our ever-changing expectations. Remember, there is no right person. We BECOME the RIGHT person and every moment after that becomes the right moment and every relationship after that becomes the right relationship because happiness becomes apart of who we are....and that is what I am doing all my life...to become the right person.
There comes a time in your life, when you must walk away from all the drama and people who thrive on it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and love the ones who don’t…from a distance…allowing them to BE in their own way. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life; getting back up is living
This world is crazy. All I'm asking is for someone to be crazy with. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, And finds in your presence that life is worth while, So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you. Since I can't be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we will be together.I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time. It is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps
Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ‘em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.
You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and know they wont laugh at you, when you can see their face when you close your eyes, when you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone, when you can still taste theeir kiss after you have said goodbye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone, when their voice lingers in your ears, when their presence eases any pain, when thir name sends chills down your spine, when they are the only thing you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and soul when you look into their eyes, when they call at four in the morning to say, 'I love you,' and mean it, when your tears stain not only their shirt but their heart, when they are hurt just because of these tears, when even a simple chore with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you're in love when you can't imagine living without them and can't figure out how you did live before you knew them, when they fulfill every need and without them you are imcomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, and soal, and mind all at once
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes
There comes a time in your life, when you must walk away from all the drama and people who thrive on it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and love the ones who don’t…from a distance…allowing them to BE in their own way. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life; getting back up is living
This world is crazy. All I'm asking is for someone to be crazy with. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, And finds in your presence that life is worth while, So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you. Since I can't be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we will be together.I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time. It is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps
Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ‘em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.
You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and know they wont laugh at you, when you can see their face when you close your eyes, when you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone, when you can still taste theeir kiss after you have said goodbye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone, when their voice lingers in your ears, when their presence eases any pain, when thir name sends chills down your spine, when they are the only thing you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and soul when you look into their eyes, when they call at four in the morning to say, 'I love you,' and mean it, when your tears stain not only their shirt but their heart, when they are hurt just because of these tears, when even a simple chore with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you're in love when you can't imagine living without them and can't figure out how you did live before you knew them, when they fulfill every need and without them you are imcomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, and soal, and mind all at once
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes
LOVE: WHY WOMAN CAN;T FIND A GUY
One has to be skeptical of the beautiful, intelligent, fully capable woman who simply says that she can’t find a good man anywhere. I know a couple of woman who are well-balanced and who also appreciate the idea of respecting men in the same way they would like to be respected, have no trouble finding suitable mates. Sorry to break this to you, but the only constant variable in your relationships is a person called YOU. I think that if you have trouble finding a good man its because you have become enchanted with the dream-like alpha male: the guy who fits every single portion of the checklist (height, income, education, toe nail length, swag, etc.), but who may not be available for a monogamous, long-term relationship. What many women seem to forget is that there are some men who always have room for another woman on the roster. If you’re wasting all your time with the lying, cheating, super dog, you might miss out on the chance to be with the man who will love you forever and father all of your children. He may not come in the same package, and by comparing the two without considering the differences in what each of them offers, you may be passing up on your opportunity.
I have heard many woman talk about how they can't find a good man. The truth is, they are not looking in the right places and they are not being true to themselves. A relationship is a "give and take" situation. You have to think about what you are willing to give and what you want out of a relationship to make it work. As much as I hate to say it.... a lot of times what you see is what you get. This is true with guys and women. If you are looking for a woman who will love you, be loyal, and stand by you through thick and thin, then continue reading.
So, if you are wondering "where are all the good men?" - think about all the things you may have said or done to any man you've dated. Chances are, you had a good man, but good isn't good enough. It seems to me that women just want a "perfect" man. You show me a perfect woman, and I'll show you Jesus. Here's a secret about men: love a man unconditionally and he will happily worship the ground you walk on See how that works? It's not easy, but nobody ever said love is easy.. You'll get what you're looking for, and most men will be what you want them to be if you treat them right.
One of the most important qualities for me is her level of intelligence.Finding someone with a similar level of education or intellect ensures you will always have something to talk about and you will not be frustrated with a partner who does not care about or understand topics that you find important. If the relationship is going to last, the woman and man both need to have something to say.
I had a debate with my friend-girl one day about her odds of success versus mine. At the time, I assumed we had the same odds of initially meeting a good man/woman. If 10 random men approached you, how many of them would be, at minimum, boyfriend material? it is rarely above 50% it is my understanding there are more women than men on Earth and in most major cities
A lot of women "not all" (because i have met many that aren't) are looking for that guy that "has it all" in their eyes". So it is not true that men do not like to get married. In my opinion, what is happening is that we have become more picky now since technology allows us to search from a larger pool of candidates (so we keep looking for that perfect match, that truly doesn't exist) and two, despite the advances in technology, there is no perfect system yet that can bring two people on this planet who are made for each other
I hear a lot of women (and sometimes, even myself) complain about not being able to find a guy that measures up to their “high standards”. Sometimes I have to ask what they consider standards, because some of these so-called standards are just ridiculous.
Take for instance a friend of mine who I love dearly, but has some of the most bizarre “standards” I’ve seen. I’m not going to say her standards are ridiculously high, because they’re not. I’ve seen her turn down nice, good looking, respectable, guys and go for better looking guys who happen to be assholes that treat her like crap. If her standards were at all high, she wouldn’t for one minute accept how some of the guys she has dated act.
it occurred to me that most of the women I talk to list certain heights as “requirements”. He can’t be shorter than 6′. He has to be at least 2″ taller than me when I have heels on.
REALLY!? Really? Really.
C’mon, let’s think about this for a second:
Since when has a person’s height had ANYTHING to do with the things that matter? Like if he’ll treat you well, make you laugh, have good conversations with you or even give you great sex!? Give me a one good reason, ladies, that being short has anything do with that without putting your own insecurities out there.
Heres an example. Lets say im only attracted based on my standards to 3% of the population. i dont even notice the other 97% despite there being plenty of good women in that 97%, albeit missing certain qualities here and there. But since im so focused on that small percent the chances are slim to none of me scoring a mate from that "worthy" market. There is pleny of good mates FOR both sides. The question is when do we re-evaluate our standards to focus on must needs instead of wants+needs.
The reason men might have better options is because initially, we don't have that much criteria. Im convinced the majority of men are looking at women from a sexual perspective first. Thats why we dont have the same laundry list of deal breakers that women do. ONce we get past that and get to know a woman better, then we are pulling out our questionnaires to see whats good.
Men also have the f*ck it factor – we are willing to say f*ck it and deal with certain unpleasing qualities in women if the whole > the sum of their parts. Women won't do the same (not that theres anything wrong with that)
What Im saying is that men see women first for their physical characteristics. If that is appealing to them, then they make sure the major points are covered
1) is she crazy? Will she left eye Lopez (RIP) the crib? Will she stalk me?
2) is her personality agreeable? Does she sound like a dumb box of rocks or is she as interesting as drying paint? is she cool?
3) General BG – Who do I know that knows her? School? Job? Is she lookin for a come-up? etc.
These are major points we can ascertain from a few convos or initial meeting. From there its a go. Over time is where men decide whether it can go past physical or just "attraction" to something realer. I would argue thqat 90% of relationships on a mans side originated from "shes attractive I want her" to "shes GF material"
Do you seriously believe that a man's brain works through some sort of algorithm?
(1) Meet woman
(2) Date woman
(3) Have sex with woman
(4) Have LTR with woman
(5) Make decision about woman
(5a) Is woman hot?
(5b) Is woman hot enough?
(5c) Is woman too hot?
(5d) Does woman have good head on her shoulders?
(5e) Does head on shoulders conflict with hotness?
(5f) Perform cost/benefit analysis
(6) Marry / Don't marry woman.
Some things are rational, some are not. Any relationship is a mix of the two. Rational decisions can be applied in RLs, but attraction itself is not rational.
Yes, a man will want to marry a woman with a good head on her shoulders. He will also want to be attracted to her. But I think you are assuming that attraction is based only on looks. Some of it is to do with her looks. Some of it is to do with her personality. The balance of those things is down to the individual man. There is no single answer. The closest you can get to one is that "Men want good personality + good looks". Like I said, common sense should tell you that.
I don't necessarily think there are less "good" men from which women can select. I think there are less men who want the same kind of committed that the majority of women want. I believe the majority of women want a strong, exclusive relationship w/a man she adores and he adores her back. But it seems that a lot of men don't want this until later in their life. I hate the term "settle down" because it implies that one a person decides to commit to one person that they are some how settling. It seems that a lot of men feel that they have to all their fun as a bachelor. Once they are old, tired and spent they will fully commit to someone. Women seem to view a commitment/marriage like the beginning of a whole new world where they will have a partner to enjoy life with and build together. Men and women just view marriage very different. So it's not so much that there aren't good men. I think it's a shortage of men who don't absolutely dread the idea or marriage or long term committment and think it's something embark on once they've squoze every ounce of fun outta their bachelorhood that they can.
When someone uses that excuse that there aren't any good men or not as many good men, I hear that to mean, she doesn't think she has the quan to get the man she wants and needs more chances. If you are happy with the type of men you attract and that approach you, GREAT! However, if you are not, it seems to me that you might want to make a change of some kind because you are not happy with your results and I doubt applying the same formula to the same problem will ever return a different result…namely, because that doesn't make any damn sense. So the problem, if you can call it a problem, is not a shortage of one gender, changes in gender roles, or anything else. The cause lies solely with the person deciding upon who they feel meets their standards. If you decide all you want is to date an educated man or woman with a good personality, you're dating pool opens up. If your ideal mate has to be no shorter than 6'3" or no taller than 5'3", has good hair, skin the color of cafe au lait, commands $75K+ per year, and has a DD cup or 10 inches, then your options narrow…considerably. Many men who have the qualities that most women would deem "good men," ie men who are: handsome, attractive, sexy, have swag, charming, educated, good job, making good money (close to six figures), out-going, fun-loving, romantic, kind, caring, considerate, etc etc etc Do Not necessarily want a long term, committed relationship, much less marriage.You have to become what you want in most all things in this life. Women don't really understand how much power they have. They have the ability to obtain good men – if they are good women. If every man on earth had to be a "stand up guy" in order to get somewhere (sexually or otherwise) with women the perspective would be very different. Men do a lot for the attention of women. Ideally if the requirements change, so does the market – and therefore the results.
I have heard many woman talk about how they can't find a good man. The truth is, they are not looking in the right places and they are not being true to themselves. A relationship is a "give and take" situation. You have to think about what you are willing to give and what you want out of a relationship to make it work. As much as I hate to say it.... a lot of times what you see is what you get. This is true with guys and women. If you are looking for a woman who will love you, be loyal, and stand by you through thick and thin, then continue reading.
So, if you are wondering "where are all the good men?" - think about all the things you may have said or done to any man you've dated. Chances are, you had a good man, but good isn't good enough. It seems to me that women just want a "perfect" man. You show me a perfect woman, and I'll show you Jesus. Here's a secret about men: love a man unconditionally and he will happily worship the ground you walk on See how that works? It's not easy, but nobody ever said love is easy.. You'll get what you're looking for, and most men will be what you want them to be if you treat them right.
One of the most important qualities for me is her level of intelligence.Finding someone with a similar level of education or intellect ensures you will always have something to talk about and you will not be frustrated with a partner who does not care about or understand topics that you find important. If the relationship is going to last, the woman and man both need to have something to say.
I had a debate with my friend-girl one day about her odds of success versus mine. At the time, I assumed we had the same odds of initially meeting a good man/woman. If 10 random men approached you, how many of them would be, at minimum, boyfriend material? it is rarely above 50% it is my understanding there are more women than men on Earth and in most major cities
A lot of women "not all" (because i have met many that aren't) are looking for that guy that "has it all" in their eyes". So it is not true that men do not like to get married. In my opinion, what is happening is that we have become more picky now since technology allows us to search from a larger pool of candidates (so we keep looking for that perfect match, that truly doesn't exist) and two, despite the advances in technology, there is no perfect system yet that can bring two people on this planet who are made for each other
I hear a lot of women (and sometimes, even myself) complain about not being able to find a guy that measures up to their “high standards”. Sometimes I have to ask what they consider standards, because some of these so-called standards are just ridiculous.
Take for instance a friend of mine who I love dearly, but has some of the most bizarre “standards” I’ve seen. I’m not going to say her standards are ridiculously high, because they’re not. I’ve seen her turn down nice, good looking, respectable, guys and go for better looking guys who happen to be assholes that treat her like crap. If her standards were at all high, she wouldn’t for one minute accept how some of the guys she has dated act.
it occurred to me that most of the women I talk to list certain heights as “requirements”. He can’t be shorter than 6′. He has to be at least 2″ taller than me when I have heels on.
REALLY!? Really? Really.
C’mon, let’s think about this for a second:
Since when has a person’s height had ANYTHING to do with the things that matter? Like if he’ll treat you well, make you laugh, have good conversations with you or even give you great sex!? Give me a one good reason, ladies, that being short has anything do with that without putting your own insecurities out there.
Heres an example. Lets say im only attracted based on my standards to 3% of the population. i dont even notice the other 97% despite there being plenty of good women in that 97%, albeit missing certain qualities here and there. But since im so focused on that small percent the chances are slim to none of me scoring a mate from that "worthy" market. There is pleny of good mates FOR both sides. The question is when do we re-evaluate our standards to focus on must needs instead of wants+needs.
The reason men might have better options is because initially, we don't have that much criteria. Im convinced the majority of men are looking at women from a sexual perspective first. Thats why we dont have the same laundry list of deal breakers that women do. ONce we get past that and get to know a woman better, then we are pulling out our questionnaires to see whats good.
Men also have the f*ck it factor – we are willing to say f*ck it and deal with certain unpleasing qualities in women if the whole > the sum of their parts. Women won't do the same (not that theres anything wrong with that)
What Im saying is that men see women first for their physical characteristics. If that is appealing to them, then they make sure the major points are covered
1) is she crazy? Will she left eye Lopez (RIP) the crib? Will she stalk me?
2) is her personality agreeable? Does she sound like a dumb box of rocks or is she as interesting as drying paint? is she cool?
3) General BG – Who do I know that knows her? School? Job? Is she lookin for a come-up? etc.
These are major points we can ascertain from a few convos or initial meeting. From there its a go. Over time is where men decide whether it can go past physical or just "attraction" to something realer. I would argue thqat 90% of relationships on a mans side originated from "shes attractive I want her" to "shes GF material"
Do you seriously believe that a man's brain works through some sort of algorithm?
(1) Meet woman
(2) Date woman
(3) Have sex with woman
(4) Have LTR with woman
(5) Make decision about woman
(5a) Is woman hot?
(5b) Is woman hot enough?
(5c) Is woman too hot?
(5d) Does woman have good head on her shoulders?
(5e) Does head on shoulders conflict with hotness?
(5f) Perform cost/benefit analysis
(6) Marry / Don't marry woman.
Some things are rational, some are not. Any relationship is a mix of the two. Rational decisions can be applied in RLs, but attraction itself is not rational.
Yes, a man will want to marry a woman with a good head on her shoulders. He will also want to be attracted to her. But I think you are assuming that attraction is based only on looks. Some of it is to do with her looks. Some of it is to do with her personality. The balance of those things is down to the individual man. There is no single answer. The closest you can get to one is that "Men want good personality + good looks". Like I said, common sense should tell you that.
I don't necessarily think there are less "good" men from which women can select. I think there are less men who want the same kind of committed that the majority of women want. I believe the majority of women want a strong, exclusive relationship w/a man she adores and he adores her back. But it seems that a lot of men don't want this until later in their life. I hate the term "settle down" because it implies that one a person decides to commit to one person that they are some how settling. It seems that a lot of men feel that they have to all their fun as a bachelor. Once they are old, tired and spent they will fully commit to someone. Women seem to view a commitment/marriage like the beginning of a whole new world where they will have a partner to enjoy life with and build together. Men and women just view marriage very different. So it's not so much that there aren't good men. I think it's a shortage of men who don't absolutely dread the idea or marriage or long term committment and think it's something embark on once they've squoze every ounce of fun outta their bachelorhood that they can.
When someone uses that excuse that there aren't any good men or not as many good men, I hear that to mean, she doesn't think she has the quan to get the man she wants and needs more chances. If you are happy with the type of men you attract and that approach you, GREAT! However, if you are not, it seems to me that you might want to make a change of some kind because you are not happy with your results and I doubt applying the same formula to the same problem will ever return a different result…namely, because that doesn't make any damn sense. So the problem, if you can call it a problem, is not a shortage of one gender, changes in gender roles, or anything else. The cause lies solely with the person deciding upon who they feel meets their standards. If you decide all you want is to date an educated man or woman with a good personality, you're dating pool opens up. If your ideal mate has to be no shorter than 6'3" or no taller than 5'3", has good hair, skin the color of cafe au lait, commands $75K+ per year, and has a DD cup or 10 inches, then your options narrow…considerably. Many men who have the qualities that most women would deem "good men," ie men who are: handsome, attractive, sexy, have swag, charming, educated, good job, making good money (close to six figures), out-going, fun-loving, romantic, kind, caring, considerate, etc etc etc Do Not necessarily want a long term, committed relationship, much less marriage.You have to become what you want in most all things in this life. Women don't really understand how much power they have. They have the ability to obtain good men – if they are good women. If every man on earth had to be a "stand up guy" in order to get somewhere (sexually or otherwise) with women the perspective would be very different. Men do a lot for the attention of women. Ideally if the requirements change, so does the market – and therefore the results.
LOVE/THOUGHTS/SPIRITUAL: WHEN WE'RE INCOMPLETE, WE'RE ALWAYS SEARCHING
When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. To me....what makes life worth living is knowing that one day you'll wake up and find the person that makes you happier than anything in the whole world. We often meet a series of people over our lives, each of them right of us in different ways. If you meet one that is right for you in enough ways, you try to build a life with that person—until one or the other of you changes too much, and then the process starts again. Sometimes that person seems so right for you that you imagine he or she is the only person for you; you can't imagine anyone else being as right (much less more so), and you believe that you were meant for each other. Those feelings are fantastic, but we must be careful not to put the cart before the horse: this person is right for you because you fit, not because the universe told you he or she is the right person (despite a less-than-perfect fit down the road).
A relationship is not about a mate fulfilling your long and detailed list of needs and expectations. The bottom line is that if you hope to receive more, you must first fully commit yourself to giving more. Some of us are taught that we should expect the world and not offer anything in return: that’s a perfect recipe for getting dumped. A woman who gets her husband is the one who makes the man WANT to be married: she let’s him feel free, strong, needed, loved and supported. While this may seem to be a primitive concept, the reality is that the reverse is true for sex: Men and women both want it, but men know they have to work just a little bit harder to “get some.” They’ve got to buy flowers, take the woman to dinner, and make her feel comfortable. It would be silly for a man to think that a woman should buy him flowers and beg him to have sex with her. The converse is true for marriage – where getting a man to overcome his anxiety is a great way to get him to give you what you want. Two people merging their hearts and their lives is one of the most amazing (if not literally magical) things that can happen to us. That's why stories of romance captivate so many of us—we want to dream of finding true love, a romantic connection with another person that fulfills us like nothing else. We swoon—well, I do, at least—when the two people finally come together at the end of the movie after their various travails and missteps
Love is not who you can see yourself with it is who you can’t see yourself without. You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions, not words, that matter. The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen and I am not talking about how are person looks like. When you start to really know someone, all her physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in her energy, recognize the scent of her skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. I could be the most delectable, delicious and most wondrous peach in the world and I could offer it to everyone. But there are people who are allergic to peaches. They may really want a banana and so often we become a banana for others. All the lost energy it takes to be a banana, when your really a peach! If you wait long enough, you’ll find a peach lover and then you can live your life as the finest peach and not a 2nd rate banana. I learn a long time ago..if someone wants to be a part of your life they’ll make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay. Remember, there comes a point where you have to realize that you’ll never be good enough for some people, but that’s not your problem
A relationship is not about a mate fulfilling your long and detailed list of needs and expectations. The bottom line is that if you hope to receive more, you must first fully commit yourself to giving more. Some of us are taught that we should expect the world and not offer anything in return: that’s a perfect recipe for getting dumped. A woman who gets her husband is the one who makes the man WANT to be married: she let’s him feel free, strong, needed, loved and supported. While this may seem to be a primitive concept, the reality is that the reverse is true for sex: Men and women both want it, but men know they have to work just a little bit harder to “get some.” They’ve got to buy flowers, take the woman to dinner, and make her feel comfortable. It would be silly for a man to think that a woman should buy him flowers and beg him to have sex with her. The converse is true for marriage – where getting a man to overcome his anxiety is a great way to get him to give you what you want. Two people merging their hearts and their lives is one of the most amazing (if not literally magical) things that can happen to us. That's why stories of romance captivate so many of us—we want to dream of finding true love, a romantic connection with another person that fulfills us like nothing else. We swoon—well, I do, at least—when the two people finally come together at the end of the movie after their various travails and missteps
Love is not who you can see yourself with it is who you can’t see yourself without. You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions, not words, that matter. The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen and I am not talking about how are person looks like. When you start to really know someone, all her physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in her energy, recognize the scent of her skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. I could be the most delectable, delicious and most wondrous peach in the world and I could offer it to everyone. But there are people who are allergic to peaches. They may really want a banana and so often we become a banana for others. All the lost energy it takes to be a banana, when your really a peach! If you wait long enough, you’ll find a peach lover and then you can live your life as the finest peach and not a 2nd rate banana. I learn a long time ago..if someone wants to be a part of your life they’ll make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay. Remember, there comes a point where you have to realize that you’ll never be good enough for some people, but that’s not your problem
PUSSY/LOVE/THOUGHTS: HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MAN?
How do you keep a man? The right answer would be to give him the best ass he’s ever had. But those who think that are single and currently figuring out what dress to wear to the club this weekend. Women who have locked down men, and I’m not talking about 6 months, I’m talking years, those women brought something to the table much more powerful than good sex.
You think you’re pretty, you think you’re smart, I bet you think you’re the most interesting woman on the planet right? But how do men view you? I’m not talking about does he turn and look when you walk by, let’s go deeper than the physical bullshit girls use as a crutch. Does he think you’re smart? Does he find you interesting? Are you classy in his mind or just another basic broad he’s ran through? Take a moment to think about the last dude you were seriously involved with. What did he like most about you? If it was something like “My smile” or “The way I rode it” you have a serious problem. Are you the type of woman he can spend all day talking to and has a connection deeper than the physical attraction or are you simply Pussy? And by Pussy I mean your only value to that man is to satisfy his physical needs. Your job is to make him cum. Pussy isn't just the hoe or the slut, it's also the girlfriend who we have no intention of marrying or keeping around past a year. Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama.
Does he take you out? Stop being the drive thru hoe. Yeah he’s on hard times, his pockets aren’t built like that, but guess what? That guy has money to buy a $59.99 PS3 game; he can scrape up a few dollars to take you to a restaurant that doesn’t have pictures on the menu. Your homgirls are single and fine dining and you’re taking Wing Stop to go, you’re not winning because you have a man, you’re losing because you have a man who keeps your dumb ass on Dracula duty, buried in the crib, only coming out when it’s time to buy condoms and Dutch masters.
Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!
What do you talk about? “We spend all night on the phone talking, we have so much in common”, Bitch please. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent on the phone with girls who I couldn’t stand? I’ve stayed up until 6am more times than I can count, and it wasn’t because the girl was interesting, it was because I wanted what she had and was putting in work. Take away the gossip, the TV show talk, and the sexual flirting; what the fuck did I talk to you about? We both like the same colors… wow. We both randomly know Chauncey the stick up boy… incredible. Spending twenty minutes saying “Did You Miss Me” and having a back and forth on who missed who gets played. The number one question a man wants to know, “When can I see you”. Why? Because you’re Pussy and we can’t get Pussy over the phone.
Are You Jeopardy Girl or Family Feud Girl? You’re not the brightest, you can tie your shoe and put your hair into a bun, but that’s where your genius ends. Stop pretending as if you visit CNN.com before you visit mediatakeout.com. It’s okay to be into basic shit, but be able to put together a sentence. If I say, “So why didn’t you like Black Swan” don’t come at me with, “That was some white people shit”. That’s not a movie review, that’s a woman with poor analytical skills who tuned out as soon as she realized this wasn’t a comedy. There are more important things than Chris Brown’s dick. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather. Stop being afraid to ask questions, research things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the party and the most interesting.
If a man won’t commit then he sees you as Pussy. You were in a relationship for 3 months, and he started acting funny… Did you really break up with him or did he sabotage the relationship after your Pussy expired? Yes, pussy has an expiration date. It expires exactly 3-4 months after we first hit it. The more you smash the faster it expires. It’s not milk, you can continue to hit pussy after it’s long expired, people are married and love hitting expired pussy, it still feels good. But it will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. As a wise man once said, “There’s no pussy like new pussy, and that’s how a nigga feel”. Being extra freaky or dating during the winter months may buy you an extra two months of that new pussy smell, but that’s it. No matter If it lasts 4 months or 6 months, the man will show signs of cabin fever because you don’t have anything real that keeps him tied to you. This man didn’t suddenly become an asshole, that’s not the real reason you’re arguing after months of lovey dovey shit, he’s tired of your pussy and he’s ready to move on to the next girl because you don’t stimulate him mentally. Sure he may come back to hit it after the relationship is over, but no junkie stops cold turkey. The point is he’s now only using you for Pussy, and that reaffirms that from the jump he saw you as Pussy never wifey! There is no such thing as Marry Me Pussy. No matter how good you think your shot is, there has yet to be a vagina built that can make a man throw a ring on it. Personality, charm, charisma > Pussy. If you want to keep a man, not just have someone to roll around in the bed and eat lemon pepper strips with, look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want me?” It’s like a job interview, the strengths are obvious and often times exaggerated. The weaknesses, those are hard to figure out, it’s not because you don’t have any, it’s because we rarely take a serious look at what’s wrong with us. Other than stupidity which we can’t really cure, there are several things that hold men back from promoting women, but here are my top two,
Are You Boring: No one wants a girl who sits around saying “I’m bored”? If you’re a bored female, that means you are boring. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to waste my time with a boring chick who always needs to be entertained by the most basic shit. I’m bored my phone’s not ringing today. I’m bored nobody’s texting me. I’m bored nothing’s on TV. Guess what? I’m bored after fucking you for a month because all you do is seek attention. Your coochie may be wet, but your personality is dry! There are people that make things happen and there are people who complain that nothing’s happening. Which are you?
Are You Loyal: Yeah yeah you would never cheat physically, but who do you talk to besides him? Who do you flirt with besides him? Men know when a female has an active phonebook. Do you think he’s going to see you as more than a good time girl if you have dudes blowing up your phone? He can say, “cut every other dude off for me” but let’s be realistic, you have excuses to why you talk to these niggas, he’s your brother, he’s your best male friend, you work with him… the list goes on. If you’re not willing to let go of your backup dick then why should he upgrade you from the Pussy to the potential wifey?
If you are a girl who’s tired of the dating game and want something deeper than 9 inches and a text message, then it’s time to get serious and change the way men view you. When you go out on dates have something to say, push the conversation in directions you haven’t taken it before. Show him that you aren’t like the rest of these girls out here; make him feel as if you’re the type of woman he can raise children with… not drop children in. They say that beside every great man there is a great woman. History doesn’t remember women who could do it with no hands; they remember women who could do it with their brains. Stop Being Pussy, that’s how you keep a man.
You think you’re pretty, you think you’re smart, I bet you think you’re the most interesting woman on the planet right? But how do men view you? I’m not talking about does he turn and look when you walk by, let’s go deeper than the physical bullshit girls use as a crutch. Does he think you’re smart? Does he find you interesting? Are you classy in his mind or just another basic broad he’s ran through? Take a moment to think about the last dude you were seriously involved with. What did he like most about you? If it was something like “My smile” or “The way I rode it” you have a serious problem. Are you the type of woman he can spend all day talking to and has a connection deeper than the physical attraction or are you simply Pussy? And by Pussy I mean your only value to that man is to satisfy his physical needs. Your job is to make him cum. Pussy isn't just the hoe or the slut, it's also the girlfriend who we have no intention of marrying or keeping around past a year. Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama.
Does he take you out? Stop being the drive thru hoe. Yeah he’s on hard times, his pockets aren’t built like that, but guess what? That guy has money to buy a $59.99 PS3 game; he can scrape up a few dollars to take you to a restaurant that doesn’t have pictures on the menu. Your homgirls are single and fine dining and you’re taking Wing Stop to go, you’re not winning because you have a man, you’re losing because you have a man who keeps your dumb ass on Dracula duty, buried in the crib, only coming out when it’s time to buy condoms and Dutch masters.
Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!
What do you talk about? “We spend all night on the phone talking, we have so much in common”, Bitch please. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent on the phone with girls who I couldn’t stand? I’ve stayed up until 6am more times than I can count, and it wasn’t because the girl was interesting, it was because I wanted what she had and was putting in work. Take away the gossip, the TV show talk, and the sexual flirting; what the fuck did I talk to you about? We both like the same colors… wow. We both randomly know Chauncey the stick up boy… incredible. Spending twenty minutes saying “Did You Miss Me” and having a back and forth on who missed who gets played. The number one question a man wants to know, “When can I see you”. Why? Because you’re Pussy and we can’t get Pussy over the phone.
Are You Jeopardy Girl or Family Feud Girl? You’re not the brightest, you can tie your shoe and put your hair into a bun, but that’s where your genius ends. Stop pretending as if you visit CNN.com before you visit mediatakeout.com. It’s okay to be into basic shit, but be able to put together a sentence. If I say, “So why didn’t you like Black Swan” don’t come at me with, “That was some white people shit”. That’s not a movie review, that’s a woman with poor analytical skills who tuned out as soon as she realized this wasn’t a comedy. There are more important things than Chris Brown’s dick. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather. Stop being afraid to ask questions, research things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the party and the most interesting.
If a man won’t commit then he sees you as Pussy. You were in a relationship for 3 months, and he started acting funny… Did you really break up with him or did he sabotage the relationship after your Pussy expired? Yes, pussy has an expiration date. It expires exactly 3-4 months after we first hit it. The more you smash the faster it expires. It’s not milk, you can continue to hit pussy after it’s long expired, people are married and love hitting expired pussy, it still feels good. But it will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. As a wise man once said, “There’s no pussy like new pussy, and that’s how a nigga feel”. Being extra freaky or dating during the winter months may buy you an extra two months of that new pussy smell, but that’s it. No matter If it lasts 4 months or 6 months, the man will show signs of cabin fever because you don’t have anything real that keeps him tied to you. This man didn’t suddenly become an asshole, that’s not the real reason you’re arguing after months of lovey dovey shit, he’s tired of your pussy and he’s ready to move on to the next girl because you don’t stimulate him mentally. Sure he may come back to hit it after the relationship is over, but no junkie stops cold turkey. The point is he’s now only using you for Pussy, and that reaffirms that from the jump he saw you as Pussy never wifey! There is no such thing as Marry Me Pussy. No matter how good you think your shot is, there has yet to be a vagina built that can make a man throw a ring on it. Personality, charm, charisma > Pussy. If you want to keep a man, not just have someone to roll around in the bed and eat lemon pepper strips with, look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want me?” It’s like a job interview, the strengths are obvious and often times exaggerated. The weaknesses, those are hard to figure out, it’s not because you don’t have any, it’s because we rarely take a serious look at what’s wrong with us. Other than stupidity which we can’t really cure, there are several things that hold men back from promoting women, but here are my top two,
Are You Boring: No one wants a girl who sits around saying “I’m bored”? If you’re a bored female, that means you are boring. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to waste my time with a boring chick who always needs to be entertained by the most basic shit. I’m bored my phone’s not ringing today. I’m bored nobody’s texting me. I’m bored nothing’s on TV. Guess what? I’m bored after fucking you for a month because all you do is seek attention. Your coochie may be wet, but your personality is dry! There are people that make things happen and there are people who complain that nothing’s happening. Which are you?
Are You Loyal: Yeah yeah you would never cheat physically, but who do you talk to besides him? Who do you flirt with besides him? Men know when a female has an active phonebook. Do you think he’s going to see you as more than a good time girl if you have dudes blowing up your phone? He can say, “cut every other dude off for me” but let’s be realistic, you have excuses to why you talk to these niggas, he’s your brother, he’s your best male friend, you work with him… the list goes on. If you’re not willing to let go of your backup dick then why should he upgrade you from the Pussy to the potential wifey?
If you are a girl who’s tired of the dating game and want something deeper than 9 inches and a text message, then it’s time to get serious and change the way men view you. When you go out on dates have something to say, push the conversation in directions you haven’t taken it before. Show him that you aren’t like the rest of these girls out here; make him feel as if you’re the type of woman he can raise children with… not drop children in. They say that beside every great man there is a great woman. History doesn’t remember women who could do it with no hands; they remember women who could do it with their brains. Stop Being Pussy, that’s how you keep a man.
LOVE/PERSONAL/THOUGHTS: HOW DO YOU LET GO OF SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT
I am one of those "single guys.” that people always said, “We have to get you married” or “You're such a great catch, why aren’t you married”. Of course, someone always had a suggestion of a great woman. I was happy people still thought of me but it was actually pretty tiresome and exhausting. Despite the optimism and encouragement of others, I started to lose hope. Scores of dates over the years had worn me out.
We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in...Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and I just know that I can't only be the only one feeling this way.The single factor that crops up more than anything is lying. People tell lies, they tell me what I want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress me. It's the same story..they travel there ...ate here...ect..That is a turn off.
So, maybe I didn't eat my Wheaties today, but. I'm tired of "So what do you do?" and "Do you have brothers or sisters?" and "How old are your kids?". I'm tired of liking women who don't like me, and being liked by women who creep me out. I'm tired of updating my profile with new photos and I'm tired of making witty repartee on the phone with a complete stranger. I'm tired of getting all excited before I meet her only to be confronted with the alarmingly disingenous lies she told to get me there. I'm tired of being polite but bored out of my SKULL for 30-45 minutes. I'm tired of being judged, and I'm tired of judging them. I WISH that I could just tell myself, "OK, I quit." Sometimes I do. But then, a week or a month, well, I un-hide my profile and here I go again.
Too many times I’d either wasted my time or gotten my hopes up – only to be disappointed.They want to see more picture. They want to see if there is chemistry. They are so much cautious out there. It doesn't seem they want to invite love in their life. What happen to the person who want finds personality and character more important than looks...or money. What happen to kindness and acceptance. Most woman are holding out for the perfect person I guess and I am not perfect. They sure don't act like they want to get married. To find a husband, A woman needed to be willing to do whatever it takes.I can tell if a woman really want to be in a relationship with me or not....because her behavior shows it. A woman that is serious about you will tell you things that she is going to do or be or accomplish – and you will see her doing them, being them, accomplishing them. Step by step the serious she moves forward with you and your relationship. She may move slowly, but she moves forward and you can SEE it… you can FEEL it. Your trust and belief in her is important, and she does everything to prove to you that she means what she says. There are other woman who all only cares about is whether or not you meet her needs--for a place to stay, for sex, for a hot plate, as a rebound comfort, as a convenience. These are the ones I stay away from.
I hate being let down by people who I have invested so much trust in. I am sick of being left disappointed when the people I care most about aren’t here for me when I need them. I am sick and tired of every single failed relationship I endure. I always try my hardest to make things work, to be the best I can be and to be as supportive, loving, caring and understanding as possible only to be continually left feeling unwanted, unloved and uncared for. After each relationship fails, I’m left feeling used, and in the end I can only blame myself for having so much faith in people who are only in it for their own selfish reasons. I am sick of giving my all and laying my heart on the chopping board every time I think that maybe, just maybe, this woman will be the right woman for me. That she will treat me right, be honest, be there for me when I need her, show me that they care about me and give their all for me too. Why is that so hard to ask? Is it too much to ask for people to just stop playing games and pulling on my heartstrings and to just be true to themselves and to the people who they take interest in? I have been let down so many times in the past and each and every time I have been let down I feel like a piece of my heart is ripped from me. I feel like my heart is running on empty, that there’s just one little battered piece left remaining holding on for dear life, and I don’t want to risk losing it to anyone when I know that they will innevitably let me down, just like all the others have done
I was once walking alone on a wonderful beach in Morocco and felt like, God I wanna share this with someone but nobody was beside me…I was really sad and suddenly, from nowhere came to me a child (3 or 4 Yrs old maybe) She had escaped her playful parents and ran towards me with arms wide open. I carried her, she made me a kiss on the cheek and by a sign of her cute face, she made me put her down ! I smiled to her parents who smiled back and it was a magnificent moment engraved in my memory forever. I guess God was listening to me.
I’m often asked how I remain patient with God’s plan for my life when I’m still single.The truth is that there have been many moments when I’ve been tired of waiting My mom challenged me once. “You need to let go and trust God with this,” she said. I started tearing up. She was right. I asked, “How do you let go of something so important?” Relinquishing this to universe has been quite a process, but I don’t want anything for myself that God doesn’t want for me. Where are the joy and abundant life in settling for something that He doesn’t desire for my life? Releasing this was incredibly freeing. I still believe universe will grant me this desire, but I will trust God either way. Until you come to that place of abandonment, the grass always looks greener on the other side. If you can’t surrender something of such importance, the danger is that when it comes you will cling to it and suffocate it, and you may end up hurting the very thing you have longed for. I now feel that I will be able to go into marriage as a whole person. A better prayer than “God, when will You bring the special woman into my life?” is “God, I don’t know what You have in mind for my future . . . but I await whatever it is expectantly, knowing that You know me better than I even know myself.” I don’t want any less than what God has in mind. I want the best that He has in mind.Life as is love is all about acceptance and letting go. Embrace where you are at at this very moment for resistance is giving permission to opposition. Being where you are allows to see all of your options.
Most people like met for coffee or something. it’s a lot of time and effort for what may–in the short term–be very little reward. I decided that I am not going to do that anymore. I will only met if it end in marriage and kids. When I think about my future and who I’d want to have by my side for the rest of my life, I like to think about the forever part. Can I stare at her face forever? Do I want to go out to eat with her…forever? Do I want her to touch me and vice versa…forever? Forever is a long time and seems to be a good measurement of how much I really like someone. I’m picturing Mary Poppins with her magical tape measure and when she measures herself, it says–Mary Poppins, wonderful in every way. My tape measure would say, Forever—you sure you want to stick with this one?
If falling in love is such a deep spiritual feeling of connection then you really don't have to see each other to falling in love,seeing that person physically to me just says that everything that you thought about them has been confirmed. Its the knowing already of your heart and the seeing them in person that you can't seemed to get enough of....before you fall in love with someone physically you have loved them within your heart for a while...you already know,there is a peaceful feeling of rightness about him/her. Its like your soul is at peace as if you have always belonged. Its that you have both went on different adventures,life experiences and now are getting back together...to love someone is to look at them and see yourself being reflected back to you,its two people sharing the same heart...they can never hurt you,cause hurting yourself is like hurting themselves.
Fallining in love to me means that a woman can speak to my heart and soul and take me into her heart and want to treasure me. She knows the worth and value of who I am as a person,she knows that I'm the most precious find she'll ever find here on earth that means something.
I can write to express my soul,words flow out of me because that is who I am. There is no searching for words for they are a continuation of what I'm thinking and feeling. I dont believe in that perfect person. I love them because they are imperfect and uniquely themselves for that is what makes them so interesting to me. You cannot love someone until they can love themself and that does not mean you love yourself in a selfish or greedy,needy way. There is a difference when you find someone who loves themselves fully,that is when you know that they can give their love out to everyone that they meet and that is how you know she is the right one for you because of her capability to care and love with those around her.
You know? I can go on and on talking with you about love and falling in love with someone just from reading your profile? That is what you should be already...In love with me. That is because my heart speaks to your in a deeper level then what most men want...I really want someone who can just fall in love with my soul and not that you just will say " Its like reading my perfect man come to life,damn it someone wrote him up! I want you to dont want to stop reading about me, to be consumes by about me with every thought, to wish for the book to never end...
Just saying...I think I am one in a million men....when I love,I love with everything that I am and who I am.
I'm not a time wasting man and I will know pretty much right away when I feel the deeper level of connection with someone. I've been burned a couple of times on this dating site of women not being who they say they are so I'm learning how to be more cautious. At the same time I'm not afraid to risk falling in love with someone.or risking my heart over and over again. It is a human experience as you have said,thank goodness that my heart just knows how to give love,so I forgive easily those that have hurt me and just keep what wonderful human experiences that I have learned to enhanced my own growth as a man.
We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in...Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and I just know that I can't only be the only one feeling this way.The single factor that crops up more than anything is lying. People tell lies, they tell me what I want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress me. It's the same story..they travel there ...ate here...ect..That is a turn off.
So, maybe I didn't eat my Wheaties today, but. I'm tired of "So what do you do?" and "Do you have brothers or sisters?" and "How old are your kids?". I'm tired of liking women who don't like me, and being liked by women who creep me out. I'm tired of updating my profile with new photos and I'm tired of making witty repartee on the phone with a complete stranger. I'm tired of getting all excited before I meet her only to be confronted with the alarmingly disingenous lies she told to get me there. I'm tired of being polite but bored out of my SKULL for 30-45 minutes. I'm tired of being judged, and I'm tired of judging them. I WISH that I could just tell myself, "OK, I quit." Sometimes I do. But then, a week or a month, well, I un-hide my profile and here I go again.
Too many times I’d either wasted my time or gotten my hopes up – only to be disappointed.They want to see more picture. They want to see if there is chemistry. They are so much cautious out there. It doesn't seem they want to invite love in their life. What happen to the person who want finds personality and character more important than looks...or money. What happen to kindness and acceptance. Most woman are holding out for the perfect person I guess and I am not perfect. They sure don't act like they want to get married. To find a husband, A woman needed to be willing to do whatever it takes.I can tell if a woman really want to be in a relationship with me or not....because her behavior shows it. A woman that is serious about you will tell you things that she is going to do or be or accomplish – and you will see her doing them, being them, accomplishing them. Step by step the serious she moves forward with you and your relationship. She may move slowly, but she moves forward and you can SEE it… you can FEEL it. Your trust and belief in her is important, and she does everything to prove to you that she means what she says. There are other woman who all only cares about is whether or not you meet her needs--for a place to stay, for sex, for a hot plate, as a rebound comfort, as a convenience. These are the ones I stay away from.
I hate being let down by people who I have invested so much trust in. I am sick of being left disappointed when the people I care most about aren’t here for me when I need them. I am sick and tired of every single failed relationship I endure. I always try my hardest to make things work, to be the best I can be and to be as supportive, loving, caring and understanding as possible only to be continually left feeling unwanted, unloved and uncared for. After each relationship fails, I’m left feeling used, and in the end I can only blame myself for having so much faith in people who are only in it for their own selfish reasons. I am sick of giving my all and laying my heart on the chopping board every time I think that maybe, just maybe, this woman will be the right woman for me. That she will treat me right, be honest, be there for me when I need her, show me that they care about me and give their all for me too. Why is that so hard to ask? Is it too much to ask for people to just stop playing games and pulling on my heartstrings and to just be true to themselves and to the people who they take interest in? I have been let down so many times in the past and each and every time I have been let down I feel like a piece of my heart is ripped from me. I feel like my heart is running on empty, that there’s just one little battered piece left remaining holding on for dear life, and I don’t want to risk losing it to anyone when I know that they will innevitably let me down, just like all the others have done
I was once walking alone on a wonderful beach in Morocco and felt like, God I wanna share this with someone but nobody was beside me…I was really sad and suddenly, from nowhere came to me a child (3 or 4 Yrs old maybe) She had escaped her playful parents and ran towards me with arms wide open. I carried her, she made me a kiss on the cheek and by a sign of her cute face, she made me put her down ! I smiled to her parents who smiled back and it was a magnificent moment engraved in my memory forever. I guess God was listening to me.
I’m often asked how I remain patient with God’s plan for my life when I’m still single.The truth is that there have been many moments when I’ve been tired of waiting My mom challenged me once. “You need to let go and trust God with this,” she said. I started tearing up. She was right. I asked, “How do you let go of something so important?” Relinquishing this to universe has been quite a process, but I don’t want anything for myself that God doesn’t want for me. Where are the joy and abundant life in settling for something that He doesn’t desire for my life? Releasing this was incredibly freeing. I still believe universe will grant me this desire, but I will trust God either way. Until you come to that place of abandonment, the grass always looks greener on the other side. If you can’t surrender something of such importance, the danger is that when it comes you will cling to it and suffocate it, and you may end up hurting the very thing you have longed for. I now feel that I will be able to go into marriage as a whole person. A better prayer than “God, when will You bring the special woman into my life?” is “God, I don’t know what You have in mind for my future . . . but I await whatever it is expectantly, knowing that You know me better than I even know myself.” I don’t want any less than what God has in mind. I want the best that He has in mind.Life as is love is all about acceptance and letting go. Embrace where you are at at this very moment for resistance is giving permission to opposition. Being where you are allows to see all of your options.
Most people like met for coffee or something. it’s a lot of time and effort for what may–in the short term–be very little reward. I decided that I am not going to do that anymore. I will only met if it end in marriage and kids. When I think about my future and who I’d want to have by my side for the rest of my life, I like to think about the forever part. Can I stare at her face forever? Do I want to go out to eat with her…forever? Do I want her to touch me and vice versa…forever? Forever is a long time and seems to be a good measurement of how much I really like someone. I’m picturing Mary Poppins with her magical tape measure and when she measures herself, it says–Mary Poppins, wonderful in every way. My tape measure would say, Forever—you sure you want to stick with this one?
If falling in love is such a deep spiritual feeling of connection then you really don't have to see each other to falling in love,seeing that person physically to me just says that everything that you thought about them has been confirmed. Its the knowing already of your heart and the seeing them in person that you can't seemed to get enough of....before you fall in love with someone physically you have loved them within your heart for a while...you already know,there is a peaceful feeling of rightness about him/her. Its like your soul is at peace as if you have always belonged. Its that you have both went on different adventures,life experiences and now are getting back together...to love someone is to look at them and see yourself being reflected back to you,its two people sharing the same heart...they can never hurt you,cause hurting yourself is like hurting themselves.
Fallining in love to me means that a woman can speak to my heart and soul and take me into her heart and want to treasure me. She knows the worth and value of who I am as a person,she knows that I'm the most precious find she'll ever find here on earth that means something.
I can write to express my soul,words flow out of me because that is who I am. There is no searching for words for they are a continuation of what I'm thinking and feeling. I dont believe in that perfect person. I love them because they are imperfect and uniquely themselves for that is what makes them so interesting to me. You cannot love someone until they can love themself and that does not mean you love yourself in a selfish or greedy,needy way. There is a difference when you find someone who loves themselves fully,that is when you know that they can give their love out to everyone that they meet and that is how you know she is the right one for you because of her capability to care and love with those around her.
You know? I can go on and on talking with you about love and falling in love with someone just from reading your profile? That is what you should be already...In love with me. That is because my heart speaks to your in a deeper level then what most men want...I really want someone who can just fall in love with my soul and not that you just will say " Its like reading my perfect man come to life,damn it someone wrote him up! I want you to dont want to stop reading about me, to be consumes by about me with every thought, to wish for the book to never end...
Just saying...I think I am one in a million men....when I love,I love with everything that I am and who I am.
I'm not a time wasting man and I will know pretty much right away when I feel the deeper level of connection with someone. I've been burned a couple of times on this dating site of women not being who they say they are so I'm learning how to be more cautious. At the same time I'm not afraid to risk falling in love with someone.or risking my heart over and over again. It is a human experience as you have said,thank goodness that my heart just knows how to give love,so I forgive easily those that have hurt me and just keep what wonderful human experiences that I have learned to enhanced my own growth as a man.
PERSONAL/LOVE/THOUGHT: BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE RADIATE A KIND OF PEACH
I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach - we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty.
We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with the one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it is to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we want to love and be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls.
We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love. We are wanderers, dreamers and lovers, lonely souls who dare ask of life everything good and beautiful.
I was a kid who wanted to be handsome, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d be never be handsome enough. Or maybe lovable enough I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. I never learned to give myself the credit for all the good I do in the world. I was too busy cataloging my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it. It seems like such a cliche to say pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is physical beauty is subjective. And no matter how closely someone matches your ideal of physical perfection, that will eventually fade. What endures are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.
Have you ever seen a woman who at your first view of her seemed unattractive, but became quite lovely as she started speaking and interacting with you? I have.In addition, some women may be considered beautiful at first glance, but become dull and even ugly as soon as they speak, or you get to know them more. It can be quite disappointing. It certainly doesn't help that we're living in a world that seems to be virtually SINKING; who's values are declining and who's standards have dropped.I look around me and am often disappointed. Not only because I'm constantly seeing girls who are constantly cussing, getting themselves drunk, want to constantly travel, married to their job, being more like men and not ready to settle down. But they also have an obvious penchant for trouble and for RUIN - physical, mental and moral!. I am hoping that there are still existing who value personality over looks...and have kindness in their heart.
Men are attracted to a woman’s beauty visually on the outside. They will have sex with you and you’ll feel a strong connection but men don’t usually feel this strongly. A man does feel a connection with you but it is only physical for them not emotional. Some women have a hard time distinguishing the difference. If you want a man to have an emotional connection this must come from with in you, you must be able to stir him up emotionally. Making a man feel good being around you is what will turn him towards you even more. “THE CLASSY WOMAN” has so much beauty on the inside that he can’t help but fall into her. He thinks of you as being the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and known. I don't see that many woman who are beautiful inside and out.
There may be makeup to perfect looks, but there’s none to perfect personality.Sometimes beauty is just a mask to hide the ugly inside them. An ugly personality destroys a pretty face.Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.
The best way I can describe it is that most ‘beautiful’ people I know radiate a kind of peace and harmony, a oneness within, and when they share with me and that feeling lingers on. Beauty... when you look into a woman's eyes and see what is in her heart. A beautiful woman to me ...see me prefect. If someone does not see as perfect in their eyes, this does not mean that I am not perfect, but rather that they simply do not see me.People should be beautiful in every way - in their faces, in the way they dress, in their thoughts, and in their innermost selves.The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. For one who sees all your imperfections, another will see no imperfections .For her attractive lips, speak words of kindness to me...her lovely eyes, seek out the good in me. Her figure, share her food with me. For her beautiful hair, let me run my fingers through it once a day.For her poise, i will walk with the knowledge that I will never walk alone again.
We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with the one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it is to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we want to love and be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls.
We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love. We are wanderers, dreamers and lovers, lonely souls who dare ask of life everything good and beautiful.
I was a kid who wanted to be handsome, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d be never be handsome enough. Or maybe lovable enough I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. I never learned to give myself the credit for all the good I do in the world. I was too busy cataloging my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it. It seems like such a cliche to say pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is physical beauty is subjective. And no matter how closely someone matches your ideal of physical perfection, that will eventually fade. What endures are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.
Have you ever seen a woman who at your first view of her seemed unattractive, but became quite lovely as she started speaking and interacting with you? I have.In addition, some women may be considered beautiful at first glance, but become dull and even ugly as soon as they speak, or you get to know them more. It can be quite disappointing. It certainly doesn't help that we're living in a world that seems to be virtually SINKING; who's values are declining and who's standards have dropped.I look around me and am often disappointed. Not only because I'm constantly seeing girls who are constantly cussing, getting themselves drunk, want to constantly travel, married to their job, being more like men and not ready to settle down. But they also have an obvious penchant for trouble and for RUIN - physical, mental and moral!. I am hoping that there are still existing who value personality over looks...and have kindness in their heart.
Men are attracted to a woman’s beauty visually on the outside. They will have sex with you and you’ll feel a strong connection but men don’t usually feel this strongly. A man does feel a connection with you but it is only physical for them not emotional. Some women have a hard time distinguishing the difference. If you want a man to have an emotional connection this must come from with in you, you must be able to stir him up emotionally. Making a man feel good being around you is what will turn him towards you even more. “THE CLASSY WOMAN” has so much beauty on the inside that he can’t help but fall into her. He thinks of you as being the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and known. I don't see that many woman who are beautiful inside and out.
There may be makeup to perfect looks, but there’s none to perfect personality.Sometimes beauty is just a mask to hide the ugly inside them. An ugly personality destroys a pretty face.Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.
The best way I can describe it is that most ‘beautiful’ people I know radiate a kind of peace and harmony, a oneness within, and when they share with me and that feeling lingers on. Beauty... when you look into a woman's eyes and see what is in her heart. A beautiful woman to me ...see me prefect. If someone does not see as perfect in their eyes, this does not mean that I am not perfect, but rather that they simply do not see me.People should be beautiful in every way - in their faces, in the way they dress, in their thoughts, and in their innermost selves.The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. For one who sees all your imperfections, another will see no imperfections .For her attractive lips, speak words of kindness to me...her lovely eyes, seek out the good in me. Her figure, share her food with me. For her beautiful hair, let me run my fingers through it once a day.For her poise, i will walk with the knowledge that I will never walk alone again.
LOVE/PERSONAL/THOUGHTS: INFINITE PATIENCE PRODUCE IMMEDIATE RESULT
It’s painful to be in a state of wanting something you don’t have. One of the hardest qualities you’ll have to cultivate as a single man waiting for love is patience. Let’s face it, waiting for anything is stressful: waiting for the light to turn green, for the bank teller to finish with a customer or waiting for the woman of your dreams.My well-meaning friends would smile at me and tell me to stop worrying and just be patient. I wanted to scream at them, “You don’t understand how I feel, how long I’ve been waiting!” I know I was being overly dramatic but I couldn’t stop myself. In my mind I was cursing and raging at being single and making myself terribly unhappy.
The idea that I had to be patient waiting for love was simply annoying and seemed impossible. It took years of pain for me to get the maturity I needed to change my attitude and stop waiting for love. In time I began to appreciate the gift of each day and to believe my Ms. Right would show up.
It’s painful to be constantly in a state of wanting something you don’t have. If this is you, there are hours, days and weeks flying by in your life that you will never have back. It’s time to learn patience.
Patience to me is about letting go of the outcome and trusting that everything will work out. Worrying and fretting will not help you speed up the process. Holding the thought that the man who is right for you will show up at the right time and place is key.
Here is one of my favorite quotes about patience:
“Infinite patience produces immediate results.”
~ A Course in Miracles
This may be hard to fathom but you probably have an inner sense of the truth of this statement. It’s profound and difficult to master, but the reward is great.
If patience was easy, we would be living in a more peaceful world; I imagine 90% of the anger you see between people and countries would be gone. But ultimately, the only thing you have control over is you. So if you begin to cultivate patience while you’re waiting for love, you will see and feel the results. I guarantee you will be happier and more available to receive the gift of love when it shows up.
The idea that I had to be patient waiting for love was simply annoying and seemed impossible. It took years of pain for me to get the maturity I needed to change my attitude and stop waiting for love. In time I began to appreciate the gift of each day and to believe my Ms. Right would show up.
It’s painful to be constantly in a state of wanting something you don’t have. If this is you, there are hours, days and weeks flying by in your life that you will never have back. It’s time to learn patience.
Patience to me is about letting go of the outcome and trusting that everything will work out. Worrying and fretting will not help you speed up the process. Holding the thought that the man who is right for you will show up at the right time and place is key.
Here is one of my favorite quotes about patience:
“Infinite patience produces immediate results.”
~ A Course in Miracles
This may be hard to fathom but you probably have an inner sense of the truth of this statement. It’s profound and difficult to master, but the reward is great.
If patience was easy, we would be living in a more peaceful world; I imagine 90% of the anger you see between people and countries would be gone. But ultimately, the only thing you have control over is you. So if you begin to cultivate patience while you’re waiting for love, you will see and feel the results. I guarantee you will be happier and more available to receive the gift of love when it shows up.
PERSONA;/LOVE: IT'S NEVER 50/50 IN ANY RELATIONSHIP
People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you. You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.I don't want to be married just to be married. I can't think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can't talk to, or worse, someone I can't be silent with. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.Men don't settle down because of the right woman. They settle down because they are finally ready for it. Whatever woman they're dating when they get ready is the one they settle down with, not necessarily the best one or the prettiest, just the one who happened to be on hand when the time got to be right. Unromantic, but still true Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
LOVE/PERSONAL:IT REALLY IS THE HEART OF A WOMAN THAT MAKES HER BEAUTIFUL
From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it We can cure physical diesases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within. Thoughts-even fears- were airy things, formless until you made them solide with your voice, and once given weight, they could crush you. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the "good life", whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. Life is not about who you love and who you hurt, it's about keeping your trust, it's about what you say and what you mean, it's about judgments you pass and why, it's about jealousy, fear, and revenge, but mostly of all it's about using your life to touch or poison other peoples hearts in a way that could have never have occurred alone
The best part of loving is having someone who will literally rescue you from sadness, from being along, from all the madness in the world, from being misunderstood and from being judged.Once upon a time, it was simple. If you liked somebody, you let 'em know. And if you didn't, you let 'em know. One way or another, you knew where you stood. But as you get older, communication gets more complicated. Love doesn't walk away. The people do. I don't want to be your whole life, just your favorite part. You know you really love someone when you can not hate them for breaking your heart. And you know you're fortunately loved by someone when they still try to make you fall in love with them more after you broke their heart. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling. Unless you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have
You know what I want more than anything in the world right now? To talk to you, to be with you, this very instant. I want to sit across from you Indian style and look into your eyes and see for myself exactly how they change color in the light. I want to hold your hand in the palm of mine, and trace every line with my fingertips. I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. and how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it. To be loved. To know that there is someone out there who would give their all to only be with you, someone more than willing to share their world with you. Someone who will take your hand and hold it, and never ever would they let it go, never would they want to let you go. Someone who holds you in their arms, someone who tells you he's holding his whole entire world there at that very moment. A person who will love you with their all. To love and be loved, that is something I wish for. "There were days in the sand, we just kissed and held hands, dreamed utopic foreign lands, where we'd live together, forever" The important thing is to give whatever you can. To someone, it may be worth more than you can imagine.
It really is the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful.I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you," and also, "I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone
The best part of loving is having someone who will literally rescue you from sadness, from being along, from all the madness in the world, from being misunderstood and from being judged.Once upon a time, it was simple. If you liked somebody, you let 'em know. And if you didn't, you let 'em know. One way or another, you knew where you stood. But as you get older, communication gets more complicated. Love doesn't walk away. The people do. I don't want to be your whole life, just your favorite part. You know you really love someone when you can not hate them for breaking your heart. And you know you're fortunately loved by someone when they still try to make you fall in love with them more after you broke their heart. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling. Unless you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have
You know what I want more than anything in the world right now? To talk to you, to be with you, this very instant. I want to sit across from you Indian style and look into your eyes and see for myself exactly how they change color in the light. I want to hold your hand in the palm of mine, and trace every line with my fingertips. I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. and how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it. To be loved. To know that there is someone out there who would give their all to only be with you, someone more than willing to share their world with you. Someone who will take your hand and hold it, and never ever would they let it go, never would they want to let you go. Someone who holds you in their arms, someone who tells you he's holding his whole entire world there at that very moment. A person who will love you with their all. To love and be loved, that is something I wish for. "There were days in the sand, we just kissed and held hands, dreamed utopic foreign lands, where we'd live together, forever" The important thing is to give whatever you can. To someone, it may be worth more than you can imagine.
It really is the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful.I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you," and also, "I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone
LOVE: WHY MEN ARE AFRAID TO LOVE
Love is a beautiful thing. Yet, I hope you realize how difficult it was for the man in your life to fall in Love with you and quite possibly, how difficult it is for him to be in Love with you. Love is difficult for us men. Why? Well, to be honest, Love scares us. We confess it here and now, we men are afraid of Love.
We are especially afraid that we will leap into the abyss of Love first but you will never join us. That we will fall blindly into Love and you will not be there to catch us, to guide us. Most importantly, we fear giving up control. We fear losing ourselves in an emotion we do not fully understand. An emotion that controls us rather than us controlling it.
No man wants to feel like he is falling in Love with you before you are falling in Love with him. And yes, we recognize the hypocrisy of that statement. We still stand by it. We recognize that we are asking you to sacrifice emotionally before us, for us, even if we have not fully demonstrated that you should do so beforehand.
You see, our aggressiveness gave us the courage to approach you. It was our confidence that intrigued you. Our ability to lead and make sound, level-headed decisions kept you interested. We gained your trust, gave you the confidence to follow us without question, gave you the security needed to feel comfortable surrendering yourself to us – emotionally and physically.
Now, all the qualities that drew you into us, you want us to abandon? You want us to release the reigns that have guided us not only though life but to this very moment? You want us to put ourselves, our heart, in jeopardy without even knowing the odds of success? You want us to fall in Love with you? Let us stop procrastinating with this line of question: You’re asking us to give up control, admit it!
We men stand before you at a crossroads.
Against our instincts and logic, do we fall thoughtlessly into your arms while hoping you have the strength to support us as you promised? Do we retreat? Do we seek haven in meaningless relationships in a misguided effort to maintain that control we know so well, knowing that we are providing ourselves with nothing more than a false sense of security in these superficial relationships; relationships where we can never truly fall in Love because we never truly immerse ourselves in them to begin with.
We do not understand you women.
How do you do it? How can you Love so hard? So relentlessly? So selflessly? Even when it is us you shower with unconditional Love, we remain confused but not ungrateful. In our insecurity, we mock your emotional reasoning. We describe your altruistic view of the world as “female logic,” while we hide behind so-called objective logic, when it is itself born from fear.
In actuality, we envy you. Your ability to give yourself wholly to another individual with the mere hope your feelings will be reciprocated without first securing the guarantee they will. This astonishes us. Secretly, we want to do the same but we struggle. We refuse to succumb. To let go completely, even for one second, because that one second of unknown paralyzes us.
Deep down we know that Love is one of the few things in our life we cannot control. We also know that we cannot truly Love you without relinquishing control to you. Unfortunately, our reluctance is often at your expense. As you wait alone in the very same vulnerable state we hesitate to join, wondering if we will ever overcome ourselves on your behalf.
We are not asking you to change. This is on us, the men. Apart from you, we are not weak but because of you, we are stronger. Your unwavering support keeps us from falling but you also deserve to be more than our crutch. Our fear is not your burden. Force us to stand on our own! Offer only to support us once we have proven capable. Therefore, although we may not be the man for you, we will be a better man because of you.
One day, even if not today, we will be the men you need. Do not judge us all by the selfish weakness of a few. We will Love you. It may not be in the manner you dreamed but there will not be a doubt in your mind that it is Love. Scared as we are, the real men among us look forward to that day. In the meantime, as much as it may hurt, it is selfish for any any of us to ask you to wait. So, if it means passing one of us by for another who has already overcome his fear, we encourage you to seek him and obtain the Love that you deserve when you are ready, not when it is convenient for us. In fact, we ask that you never settle for anything less.
We are especially afraid that we will leap into the abyss of Love first but you will never join us. That we will fall blindly into Love and you will not be there to catch us, to guide us. Most importantly, we fear giving up control. We fear losing ourselves in an emotion we do not fully understand. An emotion that controls us rather than us controlling it.
No man wants to feel like he is falling in Love with you before you are falling in Love with him. And yes, we recognize the hypocrisy of that statement. We still stand by it. We recognize that we are asking you to sacrifice emotionally before us, for us, even if we have not fully demonstrated that you should do so beforehand.
You see, our aggressiveness gave us the courage to approach you. It was our confidence that intrigued you. Our ability to lead and make sound, level-headed decisions kept you interested. We gained your trust, gave you the confidence to follow us without question, gave you the security needed to feel comfortable surrendering yourself to us – emotionally and physically.
Now, all the qualities that drew you into us, you want us to abandon? You want us to release the reigns that have guided us not only though life but to this very moment? You want us to put ourselves, our heart, in jeopardy without even knowing the odds of success? You want us to fall in Love with you? Let us stop procrastinating with this line of question: You’re asking us to give up control, admit it!
We men stand before you at a crossroads.
Against our instincts and logic, do we fall thoughtlessly into your arms while hoping you have the strength to support us as you promised? Do we retreat? Do we seek haven in meaningless relationships in a misguided effort to maintain that control we know so well, knowing that we are providing ourselves with nothing more than a false sense of security in these superficial relationships; relationships where we can never truly fall in Love because we never truly immerse ourselves in them to begin with.
We do not understand you women.
How do you do it? How can you Love so hard? So relentlessly? So selflessly? Even when it is us you shower with unconditional Love, we remain confused but not ungrateful. In our insecurity, we mock your emotional reasoning. We describe your altruistic view of the world as “female logic,” while we hide behind so-called objective logic, when it is itself born from fear.
In actuality, we envy you. Your ability to give yourself wholly to another individual with the mere hope your feelings will be reciprocated without first securing the guarantee they will. This astonishes us. Secretly, we want to do the same but we struggle. We refuse to succumb. To let go completely, even for one second, because that one second of unknown paralyzes us.
Deep down we know that Love is one of the few things in our life we cannot control. We also know that we cannot truly Love you without relinquishing control to you. Unfortunately, our reluctance is often at your expense. As you wait alone in the very same vulnerable state we hesitate to join, wondering if we will ever overcome ourselves on your behalf.
We are not asking you to change. This is on us, the men. Apart from you, we are not weak but because of you, we are stronger. Your unwavering support keeps us from falling but you also deserve to be more than our crutch. Our fear is not your burden. Force us to stand on our own! Offer only to support us once we have proven capable. Therefore, although we may not be the man for you, we will be a better man because of you.
One day, even if not today, we will be the men you need. Do not judge us all by the selfish weakness of a few. We will Love you. It may not be in the manner you dreamed but there will not be a doubt in your mind that it is Love. Scared as we are, the real men among us look forward to that day. In the meantime, as much as it may hurt, it is selfish for any any of us to ask you to wait. So, if it means passing one of us by for another who has already overcome his fear, we encourage you to seek him and obtain the Love that you deserve when you are ready, not when it is convenient for us. In fact, we ask that you never settle for anything less.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
JOURNAL, THOUGHTS: YOUNG, INTELLIGENT, SINGLE GUY WHO AREN'T GETTING ANY
A female friend of mine is surprised that there are young, intelligent, single guys who aren’t getting any. But this is the typical line of women. They always assume that guys can get laid anytime they want to, and they are amazed that there are any guys who aren’t getting any, or who haven’t gotten any in some time.
This is because a single, attractive woman has guys after her all the time. She can get laid anytime she wants to. I have been told that even homely and heavy women can more or less get laid anytime they want to, if they want to lower their standards enough. This is because guys always want to fuck, and a lot of guys will just fuck anything. My neighborhood is full of heavy and homely women, some very homely and very heavy, sometimes both. They’ve more or less all got men, and the ones that don’t seem to be doing without by choice.
Lots of guys can’t get women, or can hardly get a woman. Of all ages. It’s more or less normal for single guys in general. This whole idea that any single guy can get laid any time he wants to is just insane if you ask me.
I know a lot of guys who have gone years without so much as having a date. Good looking, intelligent guys with good jobs of all ages ranging from 23-50. And a lot of single guys go on long dry spells, Now some of these guys are kind of weird, some are angry, some are shy, but some of are none of the above.Women don’t give it up that easily, and they usually want something in return. The ~15% alphas get ~85% of best women, and a lot of the rest of guys are left holding the bag.
If I’m trying to pick up on you, you’re going to know. At the very least, I am going to be flirting with you very heavily and openly, and if I’m serious, I’m going to ask you for your phone number. If I’m not asking for your number, I’m not trying to pick you up, real simple. How women think you’re trying to fuck them when you ask about the weather is beyond me.
Honestly, I don’t think even women my age look at me all that much. Most of them aren’t much to look at anymore anyway, and most of them seem like they aren’t horny anymore either. A lot of them are pretty unhappy too. They look bad; they feel bad. Great. I look at them and think, “Yuck.”
The fact that guys just can’t get it any old time in general like women can is why guys just say fuck it and get married. Men claim they marry for love, but really they marry for sex. Steady, reliable, no hassle, regular sex. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. It’s right there in your bed every night, and all you have to do is ask.
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: HI, YOU I'D LIKE TO HAVE KIDS WITH YOU
Hi, you. I’d like to have kids. You know, with you. I can almost see already how it will unfold. I think our first baby will be a boy. You’ll think that I’ll be thrilled with a son. And I will be. But I’ll also be a little secretly sad that it wasn’t a baby girl to take after you. I’ll hold him for the first time. “He’s gorgeous,” I’ll say. “He really is.” “He looks just like me! Kidding. He looks like both of us.” I’ll smile and kiss you. “Though he mostly looks like me.” We’ll get him home.
It’ll come time for the first changing. “Baby, I’m so tiiiiired,” you’ll whisper. “But it smells really bad.”Alex… you’re the one with all the diaper changing experience.”“Fiiiiiiine.” I’ll carry the little stink bomb into his room. I’ll open his diaper and…“Oh sweet mother! Wow. Just wow. I know you hear me on the monitor, woman. You better not be smiling.” You’ll pull the sheets up to cover your face and to stifle the giggles. “It’s just…” I’ll continue. “So. Bad. It’s like you’ve been feeding this kid Indian food and evil!” And then there’ll be the middle of the night feedings. “Baaaaaby, can you get this one?” “I don’t have any breasts.” “We switched to a bottle weeks ago.” “Well, sure. There’s that.” “I gave birth to your son.” “That one is not going to work forever, you know.” “Yes it is.”
“Curses!”
And when he gets a little older, he’ll waddle over, climb up on my knee and watch soccer with me. “Daddy, who’s playing?” “
“New York Red Bulls . We like them.” “Who is the other team?” “Toronto FC. They are poopy.” “I think mommy likes them.”
“You’re mother is a bit of a harlot. I wanted to wait until you were older to tell you…”
“I like Toronto. I Toronto. I am going to cheer for the Toronto FC.” “I will straight up give you to the gypsies.” "Alex!!” you’ll yell, after entering the room without me noticing. “Kidding. I’m kidding!” I’ll shake my head side to side and mouth “I’m not” at the kid. Then I’ll mime “I’m watching you” to him. And when he’s fifteen he’ll want some cash to go to a movie with that cute little brunette girl from his English class who writes poems but won’t show them to anyone but him. You’ll balk because the girl’s mother “always skimped on snacks for the kids’ soccer games” five years earlier. And because, “She’s a judgmental bitch who dresses like she thinks she’s still twenty-two!” And he’ll be sad. And I’ll take him aside. I’ll explain that what seems like love at his age, often isn’t. And that he’ll meet thousands of women in his life, each with attributes that will make her special. And that you and I are doing our very best to help him grow up healthy and happy.
Then I’ll slip him a couple of twenties and say, “Don’t tell your mother.” It’s gonna happen. Make your peace with it now.Then he’ll graduate from high school. And I’ll be annoyed at sitting there for so long. And I’ll wonder, a little too loud, who wrote those terrible speeches. And then the little bastard, who you’ll claim ruined your body (he so hasn’t) and who I’ll resent because his soon to be half-assed university career is going to cost me the stash of money I had put aside for my personal robot that sings Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock’s “Joy and Pain” and makes the world’s best pancakes, will take the stage. And he’ll get his diploma…And we”ll know we did good. You’ll cry. I’ll hug you.
And I’ll hope, with every ounce of my being, that when he finds someone to spend his life with, he’ll be half as lucky as I’ve been.
Love,
It’ll come time for the first changing. “Baby, I’m so tiiiiired,” you’ll whisper. “But it smells really bad.”Alex… you’re the one with all the diaper changing experience.”“Fiiiiiiine.” I’ll carry the little stink bomb into his room. I’ll open his diaper and…“Oh sweet mother! Wow. Just wow. I know you hear me on the monitor, woman. You better not be smiling.” You’ll pull the sheets up to cover your face and to stifle the giggles. “It’s just…” I’ll continue. “So. Bad. It’s like you’ve been feeding this kid Indian food and evil!” And then there’ll be the middle of the night feedings. “Baaaaaby, can you get this one?” “I don’t have any breasts.” “We switched to a bottle weeks ago.” “Well, sure. There’s that.” “I gave birth to your son.” “That one is not going to work forever, you know.” “Yes it is.”
“Curses!”
And when he gets a little older, he’ll waddle over, climb up on my knee and watch soccer with me. “Daddy, who’s playing?” “
“New York Red Bulls . We like them.” “Who is the other team?” “Toronto FC. They are poopy.” “I think mommy likes them.”
“You’re mother is a bit of a harlot. I wanted to wait until you were older to tell you…”
“I like Toronto. I Toronto. I am going to cheer for the Toronto FC.” “I will straight up give you to the gypsies.” "Alex!!” you’ll yell, after entering the room without me noticing. “Kidding. I’m kidding!” I’ll shake my head side to side and mouth “I’m not” at the kid. Then I’ll mime “I’m watching you” to him. And when he’s fifteen he’ll want some cash to go to a movie with that cute little brunette girl from his English class who writes poems but won’t show them to anyone but him. You’ll balk because the girl’s mother “always skimped on snacks for the kids’ soccer games” five years earlier. And because, “She’s a judgmental bitch who dresses like she thinks she’s still twenty-two!” And he’ll be sad. And I’ll take him aside. I’ll explain that what seems like love at his age, often isn’t. And that he’ll meet thousands of women in his life, each with attributes that will make her special. And that you and I are doing our very best to help him grow up healthy and happy.
Then I’ll slip him a couple of twenties and say, “Don’t tell your mother.” It’s gonna happen. Make your peace with it now.Then he’ll graduate from high school. And I’ll be annoyed at sitting there for so long. And I’ll wonder, a little too loud, who wrote those terrible speeches. And then the little bastard, who you’ll claim ruined your body (he so hasn’t) and who I’ll resent because his soon to be half-assed university career is going to cost me the stash of money I had put aside for my personal robot that sings Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock’s “Joy and Pain” and makes the world’s best pancakes, will take the stage. And he’ll get his diploma…And we”ll know we did good. You’ll cry. I’ll hug you.
And I’ll hope, with every ounce of my being, that when he finds someone to spend his life with, he’ll be half as lucky as I’ve been.
Love,
THOUGHTS: BEING REJECTED IS A HEARTBREAK
Being rejected by another person can feel like the ultimate heartbreak. Why don’t they want me? Why don’t they love me? Why don’t they approve of me? I can’t answer those questions for you. Each of us needs to do the work of understanding why we so desperately need that person’s approval. Oprah Winfrey said it best, “If you don’t want me, I’m not going to let myself want you to want me.” I know that is easier said than done; however, I have learned from personal experience that wanting someone to approve of me or love me was really about me judging myself. If they don’t love me or approve of me, then I must be unworthy, right? Wrong!
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