PERSONAL: YOU SACRIFICE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS AND EVERYTHING FOR THE PERSON YOU LOVE

I just wish I can meet someone who is as emotional as I am and as sexual as I am. In the past, I am always the one you gives in and gives more ..and more understanding.

When you’re in a relationship, you tend to be more forgiving of each other’s mistakes and more tolerant, because it’s a relationship that you’ve already invested so much time and effort into that you’d much rather see past the negatives and focus on the positives. Even when there’s an argument, you try to work things out without ever resorting to a breakup because it’s not worth it when you weigh all the good moments you’ve had against the fewer bad ones.

Sometimes, when you’ve been with a person , you can’t help but let your emotions get the best of you. You forget about the issue, you forget about the facts. Rationale and logic are tossed out the window and you forget to think for yourself and for your own well-being. For the sake of the one you love, you’d rather sacrifice your own emotions and hide them deep within your soul instead of seeing the person you care about, hurt. I feel I am always sacrifcing.

Sometimes, it’s really hard to realize the situation that you’re in. You read about it happening to other people, but never for a moment do you realize that it’s actually happening to you.

PERSONAL: WHY I TALK ABOUT SEX ALL THE TIME

I am not looking for a arm piece, a pretty woman who doesn't think much or have all that much to say.  I don't want to be with someone who only wants me for what I can do for her.

I am a bright, big hearted guy who valued loyality and kindness. I am not so fixed on what type of person i want expect that she skinny and has a job. I am more concern with someone who shares my values. Love doesn't come from "type hype"

I love the movie 500 days of summer. Tom ignores all obvious sign of potential failure,,,,like the fact that she doesn't believe true love is possible and doesn't desire marriage..and simply homes is on how ideal her beauty is, how she's good at karaoke, how she dresses in adorable fashion and says funny/quirky things.

After the initial rush and passion of a new romance, fter the sex, and times passes, you will eventually get used to your partner. You wil get older. Your need and desire changes with time. All the great sex and good looks in the world won't cover for the fact that if you can't get along with your partner, if you don't enjoy spending time with them or talking to them, if you aren't friends---it;s not going to work. It's like the befuddlement one feels when someone cheats on a gorgeous actress. People ask how could he run out on one of the most beautiful people in the world.  Because beautiful doesn't equal "we'll get along". Beautiful doesn't equal happiness. Beautiful doesn't mean they're a good person or stable person or kind person of the right person for you. Beautiful is just that. Beautiful. A gorgeous person could be faithful or they could cheat. Values are the things that tell you who is right.


My values is intellect, stability, fidelity and loyalty.

When I was young, I was focus on conquest over commitment, It wasn't that I didn't desire that, infact I am desperate for it....but why get close to someone who was just going to leave anyway. And the pain of loss is too great to risk again. I still desire the closeness, the satisfaction that I get dating hand having sex with a woman. It was a subsitute for the affection lacking in my life,,,but now I couldn't separate emotional intimacy from sexual intimacy. The two are wrapped around each other. I substitue sex for real imtancy. I don't want to get hurt again, so sometimes I don't like to give up anyting up because it's something I can't afford to lose.And the main thing I can't afford is my damage heart. That is the reason why i talk about sex  constanly...about my desire for it, and how i am so good for at it.and write about love...I crave emtional intimacy but I have channelted all that deisre into sex. So don't be surprise if i talk about sex.

PERSONAL: WILL I BE ALONE FOREVER?

Its 4:00 am

This is the hour your mind processes years of rejection. Never fitting in growing up, low self-esteem at the lunch table in middle school. Punched holes in the wall and tears on the pillow case. You analyze how you could have texted that girl differently who stopped responding. The day hasn’t even begun, and you’re already exhausted.

What’s the point? Why even get out of bed? Why even fucking try when you feel like you’ve been trying your whole life, only to be met by a slap in the face?

it’d be nice if we had a map, one where x marks the spot. An instruction booklet with illustrations. A flashing neon sign above the head of the person we’re supposed to be with. All we have is this innate desire to love and be loved and the depths of this big, beautiful world in which to find it.

Whenever I dated somebody new, part of me thought that perhaps this woman would be the one to change things, to rein in my wild wanderlust, to make me want to stay somewhere for longer than a year or two. To make me want to settle permanently. Part of me thought that I would be OK with that, if only she was the “right man”… completely oblivious to the fact that, if she was the “right man”, she would never ask me to shelve my dreams and ambitions, to hate my sexual fantasy, nor would she want to rein me in or have me change who I truly am. I ignored the fact that I often didn’t feel like myself when I was in these relationships;

“What if I’m single forever?” I asked myself. “What if I never find my ultimate ‘soulmate’, that person I’ll grow old with? What if I never fall in love again?”

Most days, I don’t mind being single. It’s pretty great actually. There’s a wonderful freedom that comes from being completely and utterly unattached. However, some days, I do mind. It gets lonely. And today is one of those days, so I’m going to talk about it.

Finding a partner and building a life is such a staple expectation that everyone has about growing old, and I think that’s why we can feel so empty when we don’t have that. We’re conditioned to believe that everything else in life is secondary. Building a career, having hobbies, finding fulfillment. All of it comes after getting married and having kids. And maybe that’s how it should be. I don’t know. What I doknow is that that puts a hell of a lot of pressure on dating. And that’s terrifying for people like me who just cannot, for whatever reason, get a handle on this whole dating thing.

The way I see it, there are three possible reasons as to why I’m single and always have been.

Option 1:
I’m a hideous troll monster and the very sight of me physically repulses women. I don't believe this options because I have been with a lot of woman in my lifetime...more than the average man.

Option 2:
My personality is capital T, capital W The Worst and women cannot stand to be in my presence for longer than 5 minutes before they want to gouge their eardrums out with a dull spork.. I don't believe this is true either because once again I had alot of relationship.

Options 3:
The world has become more superifical.

Of the three options, I would much prefer that I’m single because the world has become more superifical.

I had more relationship when i was younger and now relationship are far in between. There’s a unique kind of blow that your confidence takes when you’ve been virtually invisible to the opposite sex for long period of time. As each year passes and nothing changes, you get more and more used to it. You joke about getting cats and saving tons of money on Valentines and anniversary presents, while simultaneously grieving. Grieving because you didn’t get that love that last forever. You didn’t get to hold someone’s hand for the first time and be the first person to hold their hand, and feel excitement and terror bubble up in your stomach from being in such uncharted territory. You didn’t get any of that and now you’re at an age where hooking up is commonplace and you’re still hoping that maybe someone wants to hold your hand sometime.

My love life was certainly nothing to write home about.

For the most part, I would fall for people who didn’t want me, and we all know the delicious torture of unrequited love. Wanting what we can’t have is intense, and oh how we build that person up in our minds.Then there were the people who really liked me, and I liked them too sometimes, but would then freak the frack out about it, and pull away. I spent many nights crying over my single status.Continually falling for people who did not quite feel the same really took a toll on my self-esteem. I felt ugly and unlovable. I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with me. That I would never find someone was a very real worry

The underlying message is that I need to just keep on wishing and hoping and waiting. Just wait, and wait, because something better than the life you have is guaranteed. Love is guaranteed. But it’s not, is it? Not at all, not even for someone like me, who they maybe think is cool, reasonably attractive, and not obviously insane. I wanted to cry at that dinner table with my family, because keeping up the farce that I’m still waiting means staying still. It means diminishing the life I do lead, which is a good one. I’ll never be free to say that I’m alone forever, only that I’m in a holding pattern until real life begins.

When our emotions get dialed up, we turn into a dog chasing its own tail in search for nirvana. We start to get delusional thinking our one approach to the madness is going to solve it all. It’s not our fault everyone else doesn’t understand us.

“If I just keep trying this same thing… eventually it will work.”

The only thing I made myself do was put one foot in front of the other each day. It didn’t have to be pretty, I didn’t need to change the world. I just needed to change myself.

There’s no point in me sitting around, bemoaning that I’m single, and waiting for a partner so that my life can really begin, or some other bullshit like that. I’m going to get out there and create the life I want to live. You don’t need a partner to complete you.A partner would be a wonderful bonus to an already happy life,When you’re out there, enjoying your life, doing what you love to do, that’s when you start to meet lots of other likeminded people

Do I believe that I’ll be single forever, No, I don’t. What’s so exciting about life is that we never, ever know who we’re going to meet that might change everything. But I think it’s pretty empowering to live life knowing that, if I stay single, I’d be just fine. I'd be MORE than fine. I’d create interesting futures for myself. I’d live thoughtful, purposeful lives, ones that are still full of love, even if it’s simply love for myself and what I am passionate about.

PERSONAL: I WANT A WOMAN WHO HAS HIGH INTEREST IN ME

I want a woman who has a high interest in me. I think I am a great guy and I give what I receive. You should feel lucky to be with me. If you don't feel lucky to be with me..then I am not the man of your dream. So what are you doing with me? Let's not waste each other time and emotions. There are women  out there who will go out on dates with you even though they know that you have no chance with them. Why? Because in her mind it’s better than staying home and looking at the four walls. All I ever do is gauge woman's interest by her actions. A crucial step to knowing whether she is the right girl for you is being able to tell if she reciprocates your interest. Every woman I have ever come in contact with  sends out signals that convey her interest level.

My first long-term girlfriend drove over an hour to come see me at work. She also would buy me flowers, clothes, bring me care packages, etc. Women that are interested are usually more agreeable. They agree to hang out with you. They look for areas to agree on life, values, interests. They're appreciative of your date choices and happy to hang out with you and have fun together. They go out of their way to give of themselves and do thoughtful things for, This is the type of woman I want to marry. She treat me like a King and I will treat her like a Queen

If you can't give me your number which is simple thing...it just translate low intereste from you and hence you will get low interest from me. I don't play games and I expect that you will not as well. I dont have time to settle for a woman who plays hard to get and makes you wait five hours for a text back. If you can't give me your number when I ask for it, from my experience you will never give it to me. So don't respond if you have an issue with that. Playing hard to get could also mean you attract people who have an avoidant attachment style. You only pursue people who seem disinterested.

ARTICLE: Elizabeth Gilbert on Love, Loss, and How to Move Through Grief as Grief Moves Through You BY MARIA POPOVA

“All your sorrows have been wasted on you if you have not yet learned how to be wretched,”Seneca told his mother in his extraordinary letter on resilience in the face of loss. One need not be a dry materialist to bow before the recognition that no heart goes through life unplundered by loss — all love presupposes it, be it in death or in heartbreak. Whether what is lost are feelings or atoms, grief comes, unforgiving and unpredictable in its myriad manifestations. Joan Didion observed this disorienting fact in her classic memoir of loss: “Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.”And when it does come, it unweaves the very fabric of our being. When love is lost, we lose the part of ourselves that did the loving — a part that, depending on the magnitude of the love, can come to approximate the whole of who we are. We lose what artist Anne Truitt so poetically termed “the lovely entire confidence that comes only from innumerable mutual confidences entrusted and examined… woven by four hands, now trembling, now intent, over and under into a pattern that can surprise both [partners].”

But we also gain something — out of the burning embers of the loss arises an ashen humility, true to its shared Latin root with the word humus. We are made “of the earth” — we bow down low, we become crust, and each breath seems to draw from the magmatic center of the planet that is our being. It is only when we give ourselves over to it completely that we can begin to take ourselves back, to rise, to live again.

How to move through this barely survivable experience is what author and altogether glorious human being Elizabeth Gilbert examines with uncommon insight and tenderness of heart in her conversation with TED curator Chris Anderson on the inaugural episode of the TED Interviews podcast.

Gilbert reflects on the death of her partner, Rayya Elias — her longtime best friend, whose sudden terminal cancer diagnosis unlatched a trapdoor, as Gilbert put it, into the realization that Rayya was the love of her life:

Grief… happens upon you, it’s bigger than you. There is a humility that you have to step into, where you surrender to being moved through the landscape of grief by grief itself. And it has its own timeframe, it has its own itinerary with you, it has its own power over you, and it will come when it comes. And when it comes, it’s a bow-down. It’s a carve-out. And it comes when it wants to, and it carves you out — it comes in the middle of the night, comes in the middle of the day, comes in the middle of a meeting, comes in the middle of a meal. It arrives — it’s this tremendously forceful arrival and it cannot be resisted without you suffering more… The posture that you take is you hit your knees in absolute humility and you let it rock you until it is done with you. And it will be done with you, eventually. And when it is done, it will leave. But to stiffen, to resist, and to fight it is to hurt yourself.

With an eye to the intimate biological connection between the body and the mind (which is, of course, the seedbed of feeling), Gilbert adds:

There’s this tremendous psychological and spiritual challenge to relax in the awesome power of it until it has gone through you. Grief is a full-body experience. It takes over your entire body — it’s not a disease of the mind. It’s something that impacts you at the physical level… I feel that it has a tremendous relationship to love: First of all, as they say, it’s the price you pay for love. But, secondly, in the moments of my life when I have fallen in love, I have just as little power over it as I do in grief. There are certain things that happen to you as a human being that you cannot control or command, that will come to you at really inconvenient times, and where you have to bow in the human humility to the fact that there’s something running through you that’s bigger than you.

Gilbert goes on to read a short, stunning reflection on love and loss she had originally published on Instagram:

People keep asking me how I’m doing, and I’m not always sure how to answer that. It depends on the day. It depends on the minute. Right this moment, I’m OK. Yesterday, not so good. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

Here is what I have learned about Grief, though.

I have learned that Grief is a force of energy that cannot be controlled or predicted. It comes and goes on its own schedule. Grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, Grief has a lot in common with Love.

The only way that I can “handle” Grief, then, is the same way that I “handle” Love — by not “handling” it. By bowing down before its power, in complete humility.

When Grief comes to visit me, it’s like being visited by a tsunami. I am given just enough warning to say, “Oh my god, this is happening RIGHT NOW,” and then I drop to the floor on my knees and let it rock me. How do you survive the tsunami of Grief? By being willing to experience it, without resistance.

The conversation of Grief, then, is one of prayer-and-response.

Grief says to me: “You will never love anyone the way you loved Rayya.” And I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “She’s gone, and she’s never coming back.” I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “You will never hear that laugh again.” I say: “I am willing.” Grief says, “You will never smell her skin again.” I get down on the floor on my fucking knees, and — and through my sheets of tears — I say, “I AM WILLING.” This is the job of the living — to be willing to bow down before EVERYTHING that is bigger than you. And nearly everything in this world is bigger than you.

I don’t know where Rayya is now. It’s not mine to know. I only know that I will love her forever. And that I am willing.

Onward.

Gilbert adds in the interview:

It’s an honor to be in grief. It’s an honor to feel that much, to have loved that much.

PERSONAL: LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET YOU

1 earth
7 seas
7 continents
196 countries
7 billion people

and I was lucky enough to meet you.

Have you ever look at someone and hope they will stay within your life forever?

There’s that thing that can happen to you when you meet somebody and you don’t consider them extraordinary at all and then they do something like play the cello or write amazing poetry or sing and suddenly you look at them completely differently

Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time. At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIONS ARE COMMON, BUT A MENTAL CONNECTION IS RARE.It's beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you ye built up around your mind and let them inside.

 I want to believe there is a somebody out there just for me. I want to believe that I exist to be there for that somebody.Everyone is so focused on acting savage, busy, and heartless these days. Meanwhile,I’m searching for the humans that believe in compassion, love, and human connection.I wish  I met some earlier, some'a little later, and some never at all.Physical attractions are common. but a mental. intellectual. and spiritual connections are rare. A pretty face doesn't mean a pretty heart. I live by a motto that If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they’ll say it. If they care, they’ll Show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy them and their existence. I‘m no person who loves only with half of my heart. If  I love, I love deeply, passionately I love unconditionally, So if i say: "I love you“, just be sure I really mean it with all of my soul

I’m the kind of person to bring someone homemade soup, send a box in the mail to a friend to far awayto hug, run lame errands with someone to help them get them done when they would rather stay in bed, leave notes on their parked car so they get them after a long day at work, show up late at night just to hug them. I show up, I pour effort in people I care about..

Yes this often leaves me empty handed and alone but i refuse to hide my feelings I refuse to mute my love for fear of pain… because my love is to be given freely.

My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me.You were never asking for too much, you were just asking the wrong person.

No one is physically beauliful, slim, good in bed, or young all of lheir life.Old age comes lo everyone and il's followed by loneliness ior lhose who seek perfection. Love sees lhe imperfections lhal lime brings and turns it into reasons to love even more!

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe

The older you get, the more you realize you have no desire for drama, conflict and any kind of bullshit. You just want a cozy home, a nice book and a person who knows how you drink your coffee. I am a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind.The purpose of relationship may not be what you think. If you are excited about forming a relationship based on what it looks like you can get, rather than what you can give, you have started off on the wrong foot entirely, and you could be heading for a big disappointment. The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context within which you can express the fullness of who you are. And who you are is an experience you have before you enter relationship, not because you did.If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets… But only poor kids do that… If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded… But those who live simply, sleep soundly. If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages. But it’s not here… Simplicity leads the world. Live simply… Walk humbly… Love genuinely

How do you fall in love? Is it head first into a calm pool or into the ground? Is it feet first onto a trampoline or into wet cement? Do your arms flail or do they float above you? Do you kick your legs or do you dance gracefully? Are your eyes wide open or are they shut tight? Are your fingers outstretched or balled up in fist? Do you hear laughter or crying? Do you taste sugar or salt? Do you smile or frown? Is your stomach calm or in knots? Can you breathe or breathe -your heart will always beat

I believe each individual we meet brings us different experiences and a bit of knowledge; which I believe contributes to the amalgamation of our perfect selves. Whom we ultimately share with the person we are supposed to end up with. I’ve always wanted to have that “perfect” fairytale kind of love. I know it’s naive and pathetic, but in my heart, I feel that truly exists. Somewhere.

I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That’s TV or movies. But that is not the human experience. Twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone. But the joy you get from that same closeness―when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other―that is a blessing. People forget that.

So many people are sttuck between "I don't wanna feel that type of hurt again" but "I wanna feel that type of love again"

My flaw is that I treat all of my relationships as though they were worthy of that same effort and dedication. I suppose it’s why I find myself so hesitant to give up on relationships. In the end, pain can purify us of the transgressions we commit, and teaches us the value of loving profoundly and genuinely. I think that the amount of energy, effort, and possibly most importantly, time, make it extremely difficult to let go of our relationships, given that we put so much into them. For me, it’s probably harder to let go of the efforts and time, than the partner, in some cases.  Perhaps the hardest thing to do is to let go of that with which we have become accustomed, for fear of the pain we feel in the interim, as we continue to search and begin anew.

My ribs are bruised from unsteady heartbeats and an endless obsession with love.I still get very high and very low in life. Daily. But I've finally accepted the fact that sensitive is just how I was made, that I don't have to hide it and I don't have to fix it. I'm not broken.

If you are mine...i want to tell you this: Who looked at you and said you were not worth it, who looked at you and decided that you were not for them? Because I look at you and wonder how you could be anything other than who you are, for you are as important as an ocean and all that lays underneath it, and a sky full of all the colors ever known. I look at you, and I wonder who could ever see anything else other true beauty with a heartbeat.The universe has its way to deliver the craziest moments unto your life when you least expect it and I know that is what you are afraid of. I am here to tell you not to worry a single thing, for I will be there with you, hand in hand, to go through each moment. Together, we shall find goodness in amidst of chaos. We shall be happy. Never let anyone waste your time twice.WE'RE A TEAM. Whatever you lack, I got you. We will balance each other out. Minor setback? Guess we'll make a major comeback. Bad Day? Well I promise you a better night. You need support? I'll be your backbone. I'll keep you motivated and at the top, always. As long as you appreciate me and remain consistent you don't ever have to doubt my loyalty. You got me. I got us.I am yours. Don’t give myself back to me.

In French, you don’t say “I miss you”, you say “tu me manques.” Which is closer to, “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me” – you are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.

You will have to peel my body from yours our souls cannot be apart. We were connected from the very start.. So when you go just know my soul goes with you. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take.down all the walls you ve built up around your mind and let them inside.

Every morning, we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better. Your past is your past. Leave it there. Get on with the future part. You are always one decision away from a totally different life. Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. Such moments are tests of courage, of strength.

You’re texting from bed getting up, me from your car going home. Texts coming in furiously as we talk about the past after hours’ adventures (yours anyway) and daytime frustrations (mine obviously). Feeling like the distance between us is nothing when the giggles and emojis we share over text are as palpable as laughing side by side each other. Cheering each other on and reminding the other not to work too hard (me obviously). Distance has got nothing on kindred souls when they’ve got giggles to dissolve in. We laugh, we live, we love. That’s us, side by side always, even on opposite ends of the world.

PERSONAL: GENERAL ANESTHESIA IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DIE

When I recently went under general anesthesia for surgery, I imagined that perhaps this is what it’s like to die. You’re conscious, then you’re not—99 … 98 … 97 … gone. But instead of coming to with missing time in between conscious states, you just never wake up. There’s no missing time because time has stopped. Is that what death is like?

Where were you before you were born? Come again? This question strikes most of us as nonsensical, because we didn’t exist before we were born. The same problem arises in imagining your death. Try it. What comes to mind? Do you see your body as part of a scene, perchance presented in a casket surrounded by family and friends at your funeral? Or maybe you see yourself in a hospital bed after expiring from an illness, or on the floor of your home following a fatal heart attack? None of these scenarios—or any others your imagination might conjure— are possible, because in all cases, in order to observe or imagine a scene you must be alive and conscious. If you are dead you are neither. You can no more visualize yourself after you die than you can picture yourself before you were born.

DATING: THERE IS NO ONE BETTER THAN THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU

Somewhere in the world of five billion people there lives the best-looking, richest, smartest, funniest, kindest person who would settle for you. But your dreamboat is a needle in a haystack, and you may die single if you insist on waiting for him or her to show up. Staying single has costs, such as loneliness, childlessness, and playing the dating game with all its awkward drinks and dinners (and sometimes breakfasts). At some point it pays to set up house with the best person you have found so far.

But that calculation leaves your partner vulnerable. The laws of probability say that someday you will meet a more desirable person, and if you are always going for the best you can get, on that day you will dump your partner… If your partner was the most desirable person in the world, he or she would have nothing to worry about, because you would never want to desert. But failing that, the partner would have been foolish to enter the relationship.


I hear from many people who are scared to be absolute in promising themselves to a person (committing) because they worry that if they say that this is it, that out there might be a better opportunity and then they’ll be kicking themselves, even though if they were genuinely committed to someone, they fail to realise that they wouldn’t be looking around because they’d be too busy with the person they’re with.

Wondering if you can do better all the time, is a bit like when you sit down to watch TV but instead of choosing a programme, watching it and engaging in it, you spend the time surfing around on the off chance that there’s something better to watch

DATING: DATING ROULETTE

DATING can be a challenge. I'm sorry, let me rephrase: It suuuuuuuuccckkkkksssss.  Why am I not getting more matches? Why didn't they respond? But is it my fault, or the app's? Is it really possible to find true love with just your thumbs? I set out on a journey to find out, and it starts with defining love itself.

Everyone want the same thing.....Someone that makes me laugh. Someone that's empathetic. Someone that gets me snacks. But how do you filter for that? Common interests and values are the types of things we're all looking for in relationships, how can we be expected to find them in an app that sorts for first-glance aesthetics and the ability to write one clever sentence about yourself? It's Romance Roulette. Your filters aren't set for love; they're set for lust. Dating apps reward homogeneity, sifting everyone into two-dimensional profiles that look the same, sound the same. Hookups and temporary flings can be easy to find on apps, but when deep connections keep evading you

People don't love each other for what makes them the same; they love them for what makes them unique. I wanted someone sexually insatiable, someone whose eyes set ablaze when they talked about something important to them. I wanted someone who was a good friend, someone who enjoyed being a blessing to those around them. I wanted someone to invest their love in me for exactly the things that make me different. For those looking for a simple standard, a dating app can provide you with a sea of able-bodied mates. I wanted more than a flat photo and a single sentence could provide.

it is hard to remember what dating was like in Los Angeles before the internet came along, but I remember — like it was yesterday …I went on coffee dates, dinner dates, drinks after work dates, and even a lunch date

PERSONAL: WHY I HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE

I do expect sex on the first date and this might scary people off, but let me explain:

1-A lot of woman, if they have great chemistry with a guy will have sex with them on the first date. They will make it easy. Sheer attraction was the leading factors in their decision. Surprise surprise ​Women seem to like to talk about how pure they are and there’s this idealized romantic notion that we’re all going to be pure perfect people and saintly about how long we wait to share our sex organs.  Then there’s the gritty reality, you either click and there’s chemistry, or you don’t. If the vibe is right and they like the person enough to want to go on a date with them, why not enjoy everything if they can? It doesn’t even  mean if they will have to have a relationship — or even have a second date.

I can’t even find very many women who are marriage-minded anymore, they are looking for certain types of niche relationship that fit their busy lifestyles. They either get something from you, or they discard you and move onto the next. For the most part though woman like men with different sex organs, they have similar sexual wants and needs. Hit the right buttons and they will be just as interested in sex as you are. Screw it up and you can be left waiting, and paying, and waiting, and paying.


2-Some woman are like "I make you wait because you are boyfriend material" while letting other guys hit in in the first 20 minutes. That will make your "boyfriend" feel real good right? Other guys could hit it within minutes but he had to wait because he was "special". This doesn't make me feel special at all.  What is the point of letting one guy get rewarded and another guy getting nothing. If you can't see how much of a catch I am and will make me wait, then I am not special enough for you. Don't waste my time, because I am not going to waste your. Don't act like a virgin with me and a slut with some other guy


3-Sex is not casual for me. If we have sex, we are in a relationship. Period. I don't go on a lot of dates..hences I don't sleep with a lot of woman anymore. Women are more hesitant to jump into bed than men are, for good reason. Women have to screen for creeps and monsters, not to mention dudes who will rhapsodize about the tender romance they really want, and then take off as soon as they get a blowjob. Men are, of course, deceived in this fashion too, but not as often, and they tend not to worry about the woman getting violent. So, it’s men who usually have to prove they’re sex-worthy.  As a result, it’s seen as kind of a win when a woman wants to sleep with you on the first date. You’re charming enough that you, a random schlub picked off an online dating site, has earned a woman’s trust. You’ve cast a beautiful spell over her, and now she can’t resist — she just has to see how your impeccably sculpted muscles ripple as you do, well, whatever.


4-I believe in sex on the first date, I had an experience where I had been dating a woman for a few months before the first time, then we did it and it was bad. And weird. Easily the worst sex of my life. If we had done it earlier, I would have saved myself some time and energy.  When you go to somebody’s profile and read through the things they’ve written, and sometimes you might go through the questions, and you get a sense of the person before you even start chatting with them. That usually leads to questions that probe a little bit deeper, What are you dating for anyway if not to find a new person to sleep with? Lets me honest... Sure, you might want a partner and all of that relationship stuff, but sex is a pretty big deal. And do you really want to date someone you don’t vibe with sexually? So why not get right to the point and see if you have sexual chemistry? Yes, sometimes the first time sleeping with someone is not always their best performance, but it’s smart to at least get an idea how they work in bed.


5-Whether you sleep with someone within 15 minutes of meeting them or wait forever, there is no way to guarantee that any date will evolve into a long-term relationship, so at the end of the day

I don’t go on dates with women. I go on dates with women who want to be with me...who want a relationship with me.. We avoided the games, the manipulation, the fears, all the rest of planning relationship like we are gods and we can control fate,  All that bullshit when to kiss, when to hold hands, when to touch and all this talk about where it’s all about some power game. To who text first, who calls first, and do you reply immediately or an hour later or a day later because it might look desperate. It’s just plain crazy adults behaving in this manner and we should have left these games and manipulation, and fears when we left school but there we go, it’s still there.

That’s why I make it clear in the beginning what I will not meet someone unless we have sex and that sex will end in a relationship and marriage down the line., I call it being direct. I call it screening out and attracting women who have similar understanding as I do about it all.

 I do talk about sex. Yes. I do and I will know if she wants to string things along because she got an agenda of relationship but why would I ever consider relationship when then most important for me hasn’t been done….sex. Sex is important to me, I’m high sexual and love sex, and I don’t want to be with women who has issue about sex, see it as taboo or got a long line of beliefs and rules about it that come from social conditioning.

And when we do have sex, it not like we didn't have a connection before we see each other face to face. By that time, we talking on the phone, text...shared thoughts ...dream. If you went in there and had sex with virtually no connection established other than some playful, sexy banter and verbal foreplay, that will work against you in terms of being evaluated as a relationship partner. On the other hand, if you established a profound, deep, meaningful connection first before the sex, then there’s a possibility. Sex and relationship feelings are WORLDS apart for guys in the beginning – they are completely separate during the beginning of a relationship and then merge later on down the line (at the love stage).  If you want a relationship, I would encourage you to find ways to connect on a deeper level.  Let him know you…  get to know him.  Understand him, give him space to open up.  If you want him to be more open with you, demonstrate openness.

ARTICLE: So You're Smart, But You're Not Rich? This Eye-Opening New Scientific Study Tells You Why BY Chris Matyszczyk

Could there be a reason? Yes, it seems there could.

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

Don't you look at rich people and find too many of them, well, dull?

Don't you listen to rich people and think: "What have they got that I haven't? Other than money."?

In fact, doesn't it astonish you a little that you know so much, see so much and can do so much, yet you really don't have much money at all?

A new study offers you a reason for your lack of wealth.

It's one that's going to hurt.

The study, entitled Talent vs Luck: the role of randomness in success and failure looked at people over a 40-year period.

Alessandro Pluchino of the University of Catania in Italy and his colleagues created a computer model of talent.

I can't imagine that was easy or, to every mind, entirely satisfying.

After all, one person's idea of talent is another person's idea of Simon Cowell.

Still, Pluchino and friends mapped such apparent basics as intelligence, skill and ability in various fields.

They then looked at people over a 40-year period, discerned what sort of things had happened to them, and compared that with how wealthy they had become.

They discovered that the conventional distribution of wealth -- 20 percent of humanity enjoys 80 percent of the wealth -- held true.

But then they offered painful words.

They still hurt, even though we know they're true: "The maximum success never coincides with the maximum talent, and vice-versa."

Never.

It's galling, isn't it, to look at some of the relatively talentless quarterwits who bathe in untold piles of lucre?

"So what is it that makes the difference?," I hear you pant, with an agonious grimace.

Are you ready for this?

"Our simulation clearly shows that such a factor is just pure luck," say the researchers.

The researchers actually looked at different events that had happened in people's lives and ranked them according to how lucky or unlucky these events were.

"It is evident that the most successful individuals are also the luckiest ones. And the less successful individuals are also the unluckiest ones," they said.

The danger here is that such a conclusion offers a blessed excuse to many who have chosen not to use their talents in ways that might have brought them fortunes.

But there are those, too, who actively don't seek to be wealthy, but prefer a life that makes them, well, happier.

The scientists, though, offer some rude awakenings to those who prefer to imagine that the wealthy have some special talent.

"If it is true that some degree of talent is necessary to be successful in life, almost never the most talented people reach the highest peaks of success, being overtaken by mediocre but sensibly luckier individuals," they say.

This leads them to suggest that their research "sheds new light on the effectiveness of assessing merit on the basis of the reached level of success and underlines the risks of distributing excessive honors or resources to people who, at the end of the day, could have been simply luckier than others."

I admit -- perhaps you will too -- that when I look at the likes of, say, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg or, well, other prominent types who enjoy unseemly wealth, I wonder just how talented they really are.

Indeed, I've worked over the years with one or two colossally wealthy types and come away, in more than one case, thinking, in the words of the great Los Lobos: "Is this all there is?"

Perhaps, if this study is to be believed, the wealthy sorts simply couldn't believe their luck and managed to be level-headed enough to capitalize on it and intelligent enough to realize just how much power it gave them.

On the other hand, I meet so many wonderful, talented, fascinating people who never made much money at all.

In the end, my test is very simple: "With whom would I rather have dinner? With whom would there be glorious laughter?"

I will leave you, though, with the researchers' words, ones that may say so much about our current world: "Our results are a warning against the risks of what we call the 'naive meritocracy' which, underestimating the role of randomness among the determinants of success, often fail to give honors and rewards to the most competent people."

They're talking about you, aren't they?

DATINGl DO YOU KEEP LOOKING FOREVER FOR THE PERFECT COMBINATION OF LOOKS AND PERSONALITY?

If you want something for one night or a fling, it’s easy to meet people. Something more that is a different story. Because everybody thinks that they can do better. They think they can find someone better looking or who has more money or whatever.  People who are scared to be absolute in promising themselves to a person (committing) because they worry that if they say that this is it, that out there might be a better opportunity and then they’ll be kicking themselves, even though if they were genuinely committed to someone, they fail to realise that they wouldn’t be looking around because they’d be too busy with the person they’re with

Wondering if you can do better all the time, is a bit like when you sit down to watch TV but instead of choosing a programme, watching it and engaging in it, you spend the time surfing around on the off chance that there’s something better to watch.

It’s like you hate the idea that you might have missed out on viewing something better that would have left you as satisfied as you expect. Next thing the whole evening has gone by and you’ve not really watched anything. Then you think, Ah…I should have watched X…” something that you skipped over earlier and then you end up feeling dissatisfied about not choosing that as well.

The trouble with being perennially dissatisfied and shopping around for a better deal, is that not only does it get far too superficial but you’re just never really in anything to have truly enjoyed it. Ever tried to have a conversation with someone or do something where your mind is elsewhere, or you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, or evaluating and analysing things? Your mind isn’t where it’s supposed to be – in the present.

Striving to be with someone with bigger breasts, or more hair, or who has more money, more status, who gives you eight orgasms a week instead of five isn’t really going to lead to relationship satisfaction. No doubt when you do find these things, you start wondering if you can improve upon these too

If you’re asking yourself if you can do better than a relationship that isn’t mutually fulfilling and lacks love, care, trust, and respect as well as shared values and other landmarks? Yeah you can.

If you’re asking if you can do better and find someone who is more satisfying on secondary values like appearance, or how much money they have, or how much more IQ they can have, or whatever, you might want to consider whether it’s time to look a bit deeper and make sure you’re actually living your life congruent with your values and seeking partners who you can actually forge a future with.

 How does one choose a person with whom to spend any time? The answer is probably something in your preference for a physical type. Part of any decision you make needs to be whether sex with love is the best sex ever for you vs. sex with someone whose physical type just makes it more intense, whatever the relationship.

So what is one to do?  Keep looking forever for the perfect combination of looks and personality?

I don't think so

THOUGHTS: HOW TO SURRENDER YOURSELF TO YOUR MAN

We tell you to surrender. Sometimes directly, sometimes in subtle ways. You wonder what it really means. How do you let Men win. How do you truly surrender. After all, you’re so tired of resisting. So tired of fighting.

Here’s how.
Surrender your own style. Your style is ‘sexy.’ Not goth, or punk, or chic, or professional. Hot. Show off your body. Wear makeup. You have no style or fashion sense, just parts to expose and reveal.

Surrender your opinion. This can feel optional. It isn’t. If a man says something you think is wrong, agree with it. If a man says something you think is right, agree as well. Agreement doesn’t have to be enthusiastic, just permanent. Nod your head whenever Men speak.

Surrender your will. Do as you’re told. Get coffee, suck cock, make copies, leave the room, kneel, put on a collar, slap yourself in the face. Whatever it is, do it instantly. If you can’t do it instantly, apologize. If you don’t know how to do something, admit you’re not smart enough and get help.

Surrender the word ‘No.’ Forget it. It doesn’t exist for you.

Surrender your pride. Never compete with a man and never feel proud of your accomplishments. You have value only in the pleasure you provide. Accept that you’re not good enough and you’re not pretty enough and you’re not smart.

Surrender your name. Do everyone know you as Jennifer or Rebecca or Mrs. Smith? Call yourself Jenni with an “i” or answer only to ‘bitch’ or ‘slut.’ Don’t give your full name and don’t answer to it. You have a silly stripper’s name, a child’s name. Don’t be taken seriously.

Surrender your ambition. Are you getting a degree? Quit. Are you up for a promotion? Stop trying. Are you looking for work? Look for a husband instead. The highest level you can hope to achieve is being a good girl.

Surrender your limits. Did you have hard limits on posting pics? Anal sex? BDSM? Do you always negotiate a safe word? You have no limits anymore. Surrender them. Let other decide if you need thresholds or boundaries. It’s not up to you.

Surrender your interests. No more reading books, no more reading magazines, no more learning about politics or ideas. Read texts, look at pictures. No more hobbies. Surrender the part of you that wants to learn and express yourself. No one cares what you think or what you can do. Give up.

Surrender your body. Does a man think you should have bigger tits? Pay to be plastic. A smaller waist? Diet and work out. Does he want piercings? Tattoos? Change for Him. He wants your pussy shaved? Shave it. It’s not your body anymore.




1. I am surrendering my own style. My style is sexy. I will wear makeup. I will expose and reveal myself.

2. I am surrendering my opinion. 

3. I surrender my will. I will do what I’m told.

4. I surrender the word no. The only answer I know is yes.

5. I surrender my pride. My pride is now on taking as much cock and cum as possible in and on my body. I have value only when pleasing cock and earning cum. I’m not and never will be good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough.

6. I surrender my name. My name is now whatever you want it to be. I will answer to anything degrading and humiliating.

7. I surrender my ambition. I’m ready to quit school whenever you say and I’m ready to be yours.

8. I surrender my limits. I have no limits. You decide my limits and thresholds, not me.

9. I surrender my interests. My interests are now pleasing you. Pleasing as much cock and taking as much cum as possible. Exposing myself for you. And improving myself for you.

10. I surrender my body. My body is yours to do with as you please. Change me however you want to make me perfect for you.

11. I surrender my mind. My mind off your new playground. Toy and play with my mind. Fuck it up. Turn it against me.

12. I surrender my soul. Turn my soul into whatever you want. Do with it what you will. Sell it, keep it, rent it out, kill it….

PERSONAL: PRAYING TO GOD FOR LOVE

I ask for you assistance
In releasing that which stands in the way of true love.

My heart is pure; my intentions clear.
Please bring to me my most perfect partner.
I seek a partner who enhances me by his/her very being.
who brings more love, joy, peace and prosperity to my life,
Who I can love fully and who can fully receive my love,
Who loves, honors and cherishes me completely, and always.

May my heart be open and my head be clear.
May my life be ready to welcome True love.
May I be embraced in a circle of your love
An uplifted by your grace.
And so it is.



PART 2

Dear God, I am ready to have a relationship
with a wonderful person,
who truly gets me, loves me, adores me,
and is ready to build a life with me.

I know in my heart there is a special person out there for me.
My name is written across his/her heart.
Please put me on the right track toward true love.
and lead me to a place of committed love.

I am willing to work on myself and
To make myself ready for love.
Please grant me the power
to look at love through spiritual eyes,
And to remain sincere about
finding the relationship I have longed for.


PART 3

Dear God, 
Committed love is a sacred treasure

I long to find the one who is mine.

I trust you will grant my desires for love –
to love of myself , and to find love with my true soul mate.

I trust you will bring this to me gently and sweetly,
in a way that is completely right for me and my true love.

I give thanks for your presence, your guidance and your love.
And so it is.

PERSONAL; I WANT A RELAITONSHIP WITH AN ADULT WOMAN...NOT A WOMAN-CHILD

I was in a relationship that wasn't a partnership. I was in a marriage that wasn't a partnership.

Too many marriages devolve into a parent-child relationship.I HATE WHEN IT HAPPENS

One spouse plays the role of the parent:

They see the big picture.
They make the tough decisions.
They prevent the other spouse from doing foolish things.


The other spouse plays the role of the child:

They hide things from their mate.
They are more focused on having fun than reaching long-term goals.
They do not carry their share of the workload or responsibility.



I have notices that  woman are, emotionally speaking, children in adult bodies. They’re stuck in a state of arrested development on a continuum of infancy to snide, bitchy, ungrateful teenager. This kind of woman-child doesn’t know how to meet her own needs, that is, if she even knows what her needs are. Many of these women are ambulatory masses of unmet, unnamed needs.

“I want, I want, I want. I need, I need, I need,” but damned if she knows what it is she wants and needs. She just know she wants and needs . . . something and your job is to figure it out and give it to her. Adult partners are expected to magically know and meet her needs and if they fail to deliver—look out!

This woman is very much the infant who uses the same distress cry for wet diaper, physical pain, “Validate meeeeeee!” and, “Pick me up, I’m bored!” Every need and want, no matter how trivial, is experienced and expressed with the same extreme urgency.

On the other end of the continuum is the woman-child who knows exactly what she wants—everything. She tells her partner or ex in excruciating detail everything she wants, needs and is “owed,” well, more like demands. She wants total financial and emotional support, blind loyalty and unconditional love—especially when her behavior is horrid and abusive. Furthermore, you must not expect her to reciprocate. Ever. This is the selfish, haughty teenager.

Kids are basically selfish beings; they’re supposed to be. The lid off the id-enfant terrible can sometimes be cute—in actual children. However, the same behaviors and attitudes in adult women aren’t at all cute. They’re obnoxious, contemptible and abusive. In her mind, it’s your job to provide her with the unconditional love mommy and daddy didn’t provide and/or the over-indulgent, permissive, no accountability, “you’re wonderful and special” parenting that created this overgrown child.

These women are children and you simply can’t treat them like adults or try to reason with them like adults; nor can you use logic. They are children and are not capable of reasoning beyond an adolescent’s mind on a good day.

You can also forget gratitude for their “allowance,” ego massages, blind loyalty and acceptance and humoring their delusions of grandeur to keep the peace. Much like a child, this woman believes it’s daddy’s/mommy’s (i.e., her partner’s) responsibility to take care of her and make her feel good. She sincerely believes she could be a CEO, have her own successful business or be a prima ballerina/president/astronaut/cowboy if she hadn’t “sacrificed” everything for you.

When you try to point out the flaws in her reasoning, you get the same convoluted reasoning you’d get from a kid. Ultimately, it comes down to this: “You’re supposed to take care of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” and, in many cases, thank her for the “privilege” of doing so. She thinks that just because she has sex with you..that is all the work she need to do.

The bottom line: You can’t have a reciprocal, mutual, interdependent relationship of equals with a child and this includes a child masquerading in the body of a woman. You either need to resign yourself to the thankless parental role in which she’s force fitting you,



When you tell your partner to stop acting like a child...they don't want to listen..or start arguring with you. You deserve and so do I a full-partner, not another dependent. They need to do their job. They need to support the family financially, be responsible, stop making foolish decisions, act their age, pick up their things, stop asking for things everything they go shopping, share the household chores, save money instead of spending it, and a host of other common sense actions which a partner in a business relationship would assume is normal.

So what do you do? I decided that I am going to stop acting like a parent from this point on in any relationship I am in.

In the same way the partner who is acting like a child needs to stop acting like a child, a partner who is acting like a parent needs to stop acting like a parent. It  mean they do what they are supposed to do and stop doing what their partner should do.

Why should they grow up if they never experience the negative consequences of their decisions? If the worst thing that happens to them is an occasional cold shoulder or huff from their spouse, there isn’t a driving reason for them to stop drinking, come home on time, or get a job.

You have every right to list your boundaries in regards to your relationship with your spouse: Some woman actually told me that my standard are too high?

This isn’t controlling or manipulating; it is a clear communication of what you are and are not willing to do.

Marriage can be the most important and fulfilling relationship in a person’s life but it only happens when two people are equal partners. This doesn’t mean they do the same things or have the same skills. It does mean they are equally invested, equally involved, and equally responsible.