THOUGHTS: WHY PEOPLE LIKE DRAMA IN THEIR LIFE

Why people have such a need for drama in their life. People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let's look at a few examples.

Time moves from left to right. Happiness from bottom to top. Let's look at a very common story arc. The story of Cinderella.

It starts with her awful life with evil stepsisters, scrubbing the fireplace. Then she get an invitation to the ball! Things look up. Then the fairy godmother makes her a dress and a coach. Even better! Then she goes to the ball, and dances with the prince! This is great! But then it's midnight. She has to go. Oh no. Sadness. Back to her humdrum life scrubbing the fireplace. But it's not as bad as before, because she's had this encouraging experience. Then, the prince finds her, and the happiness factor is off the chart! Happily ever after. People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.

It's an ordinary day in an ordinary town. But something horrible happens! A child falls down a well! The whole town gathers to save her. Old grudges surface, but are belittled in the light of this tragedy. Rifts are bonded as people work together. The child is saved, and all is well. But notice it's a little better than it was before, now that this incident has brought them all closer together. “People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.” But the problem is, life is really like this...

Our lives drifts along with normal things happening. Some ups, some downs, but nothing to go down in history about. Nothing so fantastic or terrible that it'll be told for a thousand years. “But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none.” That's why people invent fights. That's why we're drawn to sports. That's why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal. We're trying to make our life into a fairy tale.

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PERSONAL/THOUGHTS: WHEN THINGS DON'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN

We each have a grand plan for our life based on age. My was something like this:

•    In my teens, I’ll get into a good college and become a doctor
•    In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
•    By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
•    In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
•    In my forties,I will be just doing what I am doing.
•    In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
•    In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.

Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchange a couple of details and these types of age confined dreams are quite universal. So what happens when things don’t go as expected? What happens when instead of two kids in our thirties,  you end up divorce and having your heart in two pieces? You feel broken; not only is my was heart shattered, my self-perception also.

This just was not supposed to happen to me at this age! but I have to believe that the universe has something better in store.I have to have hope. I have never, ever seen a case where someone who has embraced the changes in their life did not end up happier. I will too. My past relationship(s) were not a waste of time. Everything that has happened has made me who I am  today and ahead awaits an even greater experience.

Right now I am alone and scared.I am afraid of getting older and being alone. I am not suppose to tell you that..but why not just be honest. On this website there are thousands of visitors (no exaggeration) looking to get over an old love in order to find a new one. I know that I am not alone. The times have changed and people are looking to be in a healthy, loving relationship. As such, there is no dearth of available women. I have gone through the stepped process for recovery and I am ready to dating again.

I feel like damaged good.  Almost all of us have had experiences which have left us feeling less than perfect; I have always been puzzled by the statement when I tell them .... “I am divorced.

I really feel like a new person; one who is genuinely happy with my life, and surrounded by amazing people who care about me — an overall good life. I am very lucky, but I assumed that after my divorce, despite all this, I would never want to be in a relationship again, and never ever believed I would fall in love.

But something in me has changed. Two of my good friends, who are dating, are clearly so in love with one another. It is just a beautiful thing to see. And it is not just the love. It is the mutual respect, joy, care, and laughter that just flow from them both. It is wonderful. It is what you wish for all those you care about to find in this world. It just fills me with joy that two people I care about have found someone who really understands how special and fantastic they each are.

So, I decided that I couldn’t close that part of my life off. I have met women who were nice, some not so nice, but each person I encountered helped me realize what I wanted.

PERSONAL/DATING: ONCE UPON A TIME

Once upon a time my heart fell in love and it wasn’t ordinary everyday, simple love. It was the need you,want you, can’t be without you kind of love I would smile for hours so thankful that I found you.So sure and so positive you were exactly where I was meant to be. And I couldn’t imagine that a day or time would ever come and change everything about our life and love
But it did.Time, trials and troubles have taken us on a rollercoaster that sometimes didn’t seem to end and before we knew it our hearts were tired So tired and worn out from all we had seen,all we had been through and all we’d experienced and love somehow turned into comfort the comfort of knowing someone was there. But those feelings of excitement and passion somehow faded along the way and now we’re left wondering just where it all went. I believe we can find love again because love is where it all began and once upon a time you were all my dreams come true.

I want to love and be loved again,I want to laugh and to cry,To feel the uncertainty loving bestows.And the hope that a glance can be the beginning of everything. I want to live over my dreams that are gone,

So many people think that everything in life is determined by destiny, and it's true that a lot of what we experience is brought our way by the universe. However, when it comes to what is sent our way, I believe we play a big part in what comes through to us, and what doesn't come through to us. It has to do with how open we are to receiving what the universe is offering us. For example, It seem like every woman is looking for a guy who is nice, funny, has a job, attractive, close to their family..ect. And yet here I am, with most of  the things they are looking for, but yet they pass me over.

I want to fall in love again.I miss the feeling. I miss the joy. It was like being under the sun and melting. It was like being under the moon and shining..I want to love again. But…my heart is scared. I could not feel it. It may be missing. It might have died a tragic death the lies, the betrayals and the hurt. I don’t think it could endure again. My heart is full of doubt,afraid to take step for I might fall down again, be stepped upon, crashed and broken I want to fall in love again but my heart is SCARED.

I need you like the earth yearns for rain. I want you a remedy for my loneiness. As flowers live for sunlight,so my soul desires your touch.The lifeline to my being I have never needed one so much. Don't deny me of my wishes. Don't lengthen or add to my sorrow.Only you hold the answer

Coming home to someone is many things. It is more than the sound of the key turning in the door and the voice that calls from the porch. It is a choice, a promise, a declaration. It is a return, not as a person to a place, but as oneself to another. It is one individual saying to another: ‘You are the one I choose’.

If you want to feel in love again, you need to act in love again. Acting in love might entail greeting your partner at the door and giving him a hug as you say, “Wow I’ve really missed you.”Love is in the small, everyday gestures that say, “You are important to me.”

We all long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but at the critical point, we often draw back. You see, there is no such thing as "painless love." The closer we come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain.I would say that all of us have been hurt in a relationship before. The question is, how do you handle that hurt?

PERSONAL/JOURNAL/DATING: YESTERYEARS LOVE

I was thinking about loving and being loved recently and personally, I believe we may never feel the love of our yesteryears. Oh never say never!  Reality is the love I felt in our youth is forever gone.  The newness, the fresh uninhibited, the take my breath away love, is this truly love or lust?  In my youth was I blinded by lust and thought it was love?  

My thoughts about love are… There are many ways in which to love another, many depths of love itself.  Maybe this is why we have different feelings for different people, friends, family and people who move through our life. The question is …Will I feel loved again?

I believe I can, but the love of today will not feel or be the same as when I was younger.  It can be wonderful, wonderful for us individually just not as it was.  For many we are dreaming or even chasing the feeling of love we once felt and if we are  lucky to find love in another we often throw it away because it didn’t or wasn’t the same as what we had expected.

How can the feeling of love be the same as in our younger years if we are not the same as when we were younger?  What we have to understand is as we have grown and experienced life our feelings for life and others have also evolved.  Things, situations and relationships we once, thought were so important in our lives we have come to understand their true meaning.  We begin to see value and appreciate the smaller things in life.

With this being said, this is where love lies…in the value and appreciate of our self, our friendships and those who have touched us through our lives.  When we can get beyond the dreaming and chasing of love and truly begin to cherish what is before us we begin to see the open door of what can be.  For you see in order to feel love we have to be able to release the hurt and fear of yesteryears. We MUST be able to allow ourselves to give love and to be open to receive such love in return.  We need to begin to have faith in tomorrow and most of all appreciate life today.

The love I hope to find soon has its foundation built on years of experience and value. This love has all the functions of love from yesteryears the elements of feelings from within.  For you see one can achieve this love only if we believe and allow ourselves to truly love again.

Will I feel love again?  I know I will because just like everyone else, we all have the ability to give and receive love… We as individuals just need to make the choice.

 

SPIRITUAL/DATING: WHY YOU FEEL EMPTY

I always sensed there was some mysterious cosmic order to things, but I could never figure out how it applied to my own life.

We were taught a very bad philosophy, a way of looking at the world that contradicts who we are. We were taught to think thoughts like competition, struggle, sickness, finite resources, limitation, guilt, bad, death, scarcity, and loss.We were taught that things like grades, being good enough, money, and doing things the right way, are more important than love.
We were taught that we’re separate from other people, that we have to compete to get a head, that we’re not quite good enough the way we are.We were taught to see the world the way that others had come to see it.Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we learned here.
The spiritual journey is the relinquishment, or unlearning, of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts

Love isn’t seen with the physical eyes or heard with the physical ears. The physical senses can’t perceive it; it’s perceived through another kind of vision. Love requires a different kind of “seeing” than we’re used to – a different kind of knowing or thinking. Love is the intuitive knowledge of our hearts. Love isn’t material.  It’s energy.  It’s the feeling in a room, a situation, a person. It has nothing at all to do with the physical world, but it can be expressed nonetheless. We experience it as kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgment, joining, and intimacy.


What I learned is that the change we’re really looking for is inside our heads. Change in life is always going to happen; they part of the human experience. What can change, however, is how we perceive those experiences.  

 I began to realize that taking love seriously would be a complete transformation of my thinking. Surrender to God means surrender to love.The mind that’s separate from God has forgotten how to check in with love before it saunters out into the world.  The mind’s function is to experience love.To surrender to God means to let go and just love.  By affirming that love is our priority in a situation, we actualize the power of God. Through a mental decision a conscious recognition of love’s importance Love is energy. Very few people feel enough love in their lives.  The world has become a rather loveless place.  We can hardly even imagine a world in which all of us were in love all the time, with everyone. Most of us are violent people – not necessarily physically, but emotionally.  We have been brought up in a world that does not put love first, and where love is absent, fear sets in.  Fear is to love as darkness is to light.  It’s a terrible absence of what we need in order to survive.  Fear is the root of all evil.  It’s the problem with the world.


We get in life, that which we focus on.  Continual focus on darkness leads us, as individuals and as a society, further into darkness.  Focus on the light brings us into the light.Very few of us were taught that we’re essentially good.  Very few of us were given sense of unconditional approval, a feeling that we’re precious because of what we are, not what we do.We were raised by people who were raised the same way we were.What we lost was a sense of our own power.  And what we learned was fear, fear that we weren’t good enough, just the way we are.

No thoughts are neutral. Taking responsibility for our lives, then, means taking responsibility for our thoughts. The purpose of life is to grow into our perception.  Once we call on God, everything that could anger us is on the way.  Why? Because the place where we go into anger instead of love, is our wall.  Any situation that pushes our buttons is a situation where we don’t yet have the capacity to unconditionally love. It’s the universe’s job to draw our attention to that, and help us move beyond that point.


What if we truly believed there is a God – a beneficent order to things, a force that’s holding things together without our conscious control? You and I are integral parts of that system, too.  We can let our lives be directed by the same force that makes flowers grow – or we can do it ourselves. To trust in the force that moves the universe is faith.  Faith isn’t blind, it’s visionary.  Faith believes that the universe is on our side, and that the universe knows what it’s doing. Without faith, we’re frantically trying to control what it is not our business to control, and fix what it is not incur power to fix. Violation of these laws doesn’t bespeak a lack of goodness; just a lack of intelligence.

When we surrender to God, we surrender to something bigger than ourselves – to a universe that knows what its doing. Surrender means, by definition, giving up attachment to results. To place something in the hands of God is to give it over, mentally, to the protection and care of the beneficence of the universe.Surrender is process of emptying the mind.Surrender means the decision to stop fighting the world, and to start loving it instead.

A return to inner peace.  We’re not asking for something outside us to change, but for something inside us to change.  We’re looking for a softer orientation to life. Our greatest tool for changing the world is our capacity to change our mind about the world.  If we think we’re magnificent creatures with an infinite abundance of love and power to give, then we tend to behave that way. We have a mission – to save the world through the power of love. To heal the world through the power of love.  This has very little to do with verbal communication, and everything to do with a quality of human energy. To teach is to demonstrate. Our job as a teacher of God, should we choose to accept it, is to constantly seek a greater capacity for love and forgiveness within ourselves.  We do this through a “selective remembering,” a conscious decision to remember only loving thoughts and let go of any fearful ones.  This is the meaning of forgiveness


Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it.  If we’re frantic, life will be frantic.  If we’re peaceful, life will be peaceful.  And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace. Our internal state determines our experience of our lives; our experiences do not determine our internal state. Real transformation of the world comes not from what we’re doing, but from the consciousness with which we’re doing it.

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.  As you see him, you will see yourself.  As you treat him, you will treat yourself.  As you think of him, you will think of yourself.  Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.

The attainment of inner peace.  Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love.The ego is the great fault-finder.  It seeks out the faults in us and others. Forgiveness is “selective remembering” – a conscious decision to focus on love and let the rest go. The last thing I wanted to be told was that the only error was an error in my own thinking.People who do make us angry, however, are our most important teachers.  They indicate the limits to our capacity for forgiveness.

 If a person behaves unlovingly, then, that means that, regardless of their negativity – anger or whatever – their behavior was derived from fear and doesn’t actually exist.  They’re hallucinating.  You forgive them, then, because there’s nothing to forgive.When someone has behaved unlovingly –when they yell at us, or lie about us, or steal from us –they have lost touch with their essence.  They have forgotten who they are.  But everything that someone does, is either love or a call for love.  If someone treats us with love, then of course love is the appropriate response.  If they treat us with fear, we are to see their behavior as a call for love.


 The spiritual path involves taking conscious responsibility for what we choose to perceive. People are not perfect – that is, they do not yet express externally their internal perfection. What we think of as people’s guilt is their fear.  All negativity derives from fear.  When someone is angry, they are afraid. When someone is rude, they are afraid. When someone is manipulative, they are afraid.  When someone is cruel, they are afraid.  There is no fear that love does not dissolve. There is no negativity that forgiveness does not transform.If we want to be rid of fear, we cannot fight it but must replace it with love. The miracle is a shift in our own thinking:  the willingness to keep our own heart open, regardless of what’s going on outside us.

Relationships are assignments.  They are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, a blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. No meetings are accidental. “Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship.” There are three levels of teaching in relationship.  The first level is what we think of as a casual encounter, such as two strangers meeting in an elevator or students who “happen” to walk home from school together.  The second level is a “more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate.”  The third level of teaching is a relationship which, once formed, lasts all our lives.  At this level, “each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning.”

·         It is mostly in causal encounters that we are given a chance to practice the fine art of chiselling away the hard edges of our personalities.Relationships are eternal.  They are of the mind, not the body, since people are energy, not physical substance. Often we see a couple who has separated or divorced and look with sadness at the ‘failure’ of their relationship.  But if both people learned what they were meant to learn, then that relationship was a success.

People who have the most to teach us are often the ones who reflect back to us the limits to our own capacity to love, those who consciously or unconsciously challenge our fearful positions.They show us our walls.  Our walls are our wounds – the place where we feel we can’t love any more, can’t connect any more deeply; can’t forgive past a certain point.We are in each other’s lives in order to help us see where we most need healing, and in order to help us heal.

The search for the perfect person to “fix” us is one of our biggest psychic wounds, and one of the ego’s most powerful delusions.  Our desire to find one “special person”  who will complete us, is hurtful because it is delusional.  It means we’re seeking salvation in separation rather than in oneness.  The only love that completes us is the love of God, and the love of God is the love of everyone.  That doesn’t mean that the form of our relationships is the same with everyone, but it means that we are seeking the same content in every relationship; a quality of love and friendship that goes beyond the changes of form and bodies.

 A relationship is not meant to be the joining at the hip of two emotional invalids.  The purpose of a relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather for two complete people to join together for the greater glory of God

For an bad relationship is based on differences, where each one thinks the other has what he has not.  They come together, each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think that there is nothing left to steal, and then move on.  And  so they wander through a world of strangers, unlike themselves, living with their bodies perhaps under a common roof that shelters neither; in the same room and yet a world apart.A good relationship starts from a different premise.  Each one has looked within and seen no lack. Accepting his completion, he would extend it by joining with another; whole as himself.  How do we find a holy relationship? Not by asking God to change our partners, but by asking God to change our minds.

 Spiritual progress is like a detoxification.  Things have to come up in order to be released.  Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface.  A relationship that is used by becomes a place where our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into our conscious awareness.  We never get crazy like we do around the people we’re really attracted to.  Then we can see our dysfunctions clearly; and when we’re ready, ask God to show us another way.

 God’s idea of a “good relationship” and the ego’s idea of one are completely different. To the ego, a good relationship is one in which another person basically behaves the way we want them to and never presses our buttons, never violates our comfort zones.  But if a relationship exists to support our growth, then in many ways it exists to do just those things; force us out of our limited tolerance and inability to love unconditionally.  We’re not aligned with God until people can behave in any way they choose to, and our own inner peace isn’t shaken.We love purely when we release other people to be who they are. The ego seeks intimacy through control and guilt. Love seeks intimacy through acceptance and release.

Rejecting another human being simply because they are human has become a collective neurosis.  People ask, “When will my soul mate get here?”  But praying for the right person is useless if we’re not ready to receive him.  Our soul mates are human beings, just like we are, going through the normal processes of growth.  No one is ever “finished.” Love is a decision.  Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives.  They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves. Our pain doesn’t come from the love we weren’t given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren’t giving in the present.  Salvation is only found in the present. We don’t get to the light through endless investigation of the darkness.  After a certain point, the discussion always becomes circular.  The only way to the light is through entering the light.

We think we’re need to understand people in order to figure out whether or not they’re worthy of our love, but that actually, until we love them, we can never understand them.  What is not loved is not understood.  We hold ourselves separate from people and wait for them to earn our love.  But people deserve our love because of what God created them to be. As long as we’re waiting for them to be anything better, we will constantly be disappointed. When we choose to join with them, through approval and unconditional love, the miracle kicks in for both parties.  This is the primary key, the ultimate miracle, in relationships.

And so it is that, in relationships as well, we’re brought together for real work.  Real work can only occur in the presence of rigorous honesty.  We all long for that, but we are afraid of honestly communicating with another person because we think they’ll leave us if they see who we really are.It’s far better to communicate than to suppress our feelings.  Anger is often a result of a series of uncommunicated feelings building up inside of us and ultimately exploding. In a good relationship, we consider it part of our commitment to stay current in the honest expression of our feelings, and to support our partner in doing the same. Couples that they agree not to break up a relationship because a fight. It’s very important to have a safe space for fighting.  I say that because fighting isn’t always fighting. Once I was having a “dramatic discussion” with a friend.  A mutual friend of ours spoke up and said, “I can’t stand the way you guys are fighting” “We’re not fighting, we were having a passionate conversation.'

An outburst of emotion doesn’t have to be so quickly labelled anger. It’s a release of energy and doesn’t have to be thought of as a negative or “unspiritual” emotion. The unhealthiest thing you can do with anger is to deny you have it. The miraculous perspective is not to pretend you’re not angry, but rather to say, “I’m angry but I’m willing not to be.  Dear God, please show me what it is I’m not seeing.”  There is a way of sharing our anger with people, without expressing it as an attack. Instead of saying, for instance, “You made me feel this or that,” you say, “This is how I’m feeling.  I’m not saying you made me feel this way, or that you’re to blame. I’m simply sharing this as part of my healing, in order to release this feeling and move beyond it.” Miracles arise from total communication given and received.If anger isn’t brought up into conscious awareness, it has no place to go. It either turns into an attack on self or an inappropriate unconscious attack on others.

We often must become painfully aware of the unworkability of a pattern before we’re willing to give it up. It often seems, in fact, that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves.  Life doesn’t actually get worse; it’s just that we feel our own transgressions more because we’re no longer anesthetized by unconsciousness.

It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last t the rest of our lives. So what are we to do with our fear, our anger, and the clouds that cover the love inside us? Relinquish them to the God. He transforms them through love, and never through an attack on another person.  It is attack, not the anger itself, which is destructive.

The price you pay for not taking responsibility for your own pain is the failure to realize they you can change your conditions by changing your thoughts.The only way that I can accept someone’s finding me wonderful, is if I find myself wonderful.  But to the ego self-acceptance is death.  This is why we’re attracted to people who don’t want us…..The reason we’re not attracted to them is because we’re not available ourselves.

We heal through noticing  Awareness alone does not heal us. If analysis by itself could heal our wounds, we would all be healed by now. Until the choice is made to do it differently, you just keep going around in circles. When we give up the childish obsession with scanning the planet for Mr. or Ms Right, we can begin to develop the skills of compassionate relationship.  We stop judging people and start relating to them instead.We recognize, first and foremost, that we’re not in a relationship to focus on how well the other person is learning their lessons, but rather to focus on learning our own.

Unconditional love I could understand, but not unconditional dating. To communicate is to join and to attack is to separate.  Accepting people as they are has the miraculous affect of helping them improve.  Acceptance doesn’t prohibit growth; rather, it fosters it. People who are always telling us what’s wrong with us don’t help us so much as they paralyze us with shame and guilt.  People who accept us help us to feel good about ourselves, to relax, to find our way. Accepting another person doesn’t mean we ever share constructive suggestions.But like everything else, our behavior is not so much the issue as the energy that it carries.…communicate from love instead of attack.…the key to communication is not what we say, but rather the attitude that lies behind what we say.The choice to join is the key to communication because it is the key to communion.  The point is not to seek our goal in a communication, but to find a pure ground of being from which to mount our message.

Commitment in a relationship means commitment to the process of mutual understanding and forgiveness – no matter how many conversations it takes, nor how uncomfortable those conversations might sometimes be.Ultimately you discover that how the person treated the last one is exactly how they’ll treat you. Love is not neutral.  It takes a stand. Why is marriage a more profound commitment than other forms of relationship, such as a couple who are living together? Because it is an agreement that, while a whole lot of shaking and screaming might go on, no one’s going to leave the room.  We don’t get married to escape the world; we get married to heal it together.

There is no coming to consciousness without forgiving our parents. We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present. Forgiveness remains the only path that leads out of hell.

With work..realize that you are here to represent God who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.  I am content to be wherever He wishes,  Success means we go to sleep at night knowing that our talents and abilities were used in a way that served others. We’re compensated by grateful looks in people’s eyes, whatever material abundance supports us in performing joyfully and at high energy, and the magnificent feeling that we did our bit today to save the world.  The Atonement means putting love first.  In everything.  In business as well as everything else. You’re in business to spread love.The question to ask is, “When I do anything, how should I do it?” And the answer is, “Kindly.”.Remember that my real job is to love the world back to health.No matter what form our job or activity takes, the content is the same as everyone else’s:  we are here to minister to human hearts.  If we talk to anyone, or see anyone, or even think of anyone, then we have the opportunity to bring more love into the universe. The choice to be used as an instrument of love, right here, right now, is a choice for personal empowerment.People don’t come into your place of business so that you can get anything.  They’re sent so that you can give them love.…if the purpose of my career is to channel God’s love, them I’m only there to open my heart, open my brain and open my mouth. The miraculous transformation here is from a sales mentality to a service mentality.God, please use me” is the most powerful affirmation we can say for an abundant career

In God’s world, there’s only one work going on, and that’s the preparation of His teachers, those who demonstrate love. “Dear God, I surrender this situation to you.  May it be used for your purposes?  I ask only that my heart be open to give love and to receive love.  May all the results unfold according to your will?  Amen” Whatever you do, do it for God.Heaven is a conscious choice to defy the ego’s voice.At the highest level of our being, we don’t do anything. We’re at rest when the power of God works through us.

THOUGHT/SURRENDERING: FINDING LOVE AND NOT JUST SEX

Sex is too easy.

Work out, put on nice clothes, talk to girl, tease her, tell her cool things about me, pretend to be interested in her, fuck her.

See?

Too fucking easy.

It’s stupid.

I don’t give a shit about sex. Any broad can spread her legs.

You know what I do care about? Holding girls to a higher standard.

Why? Because my seed is liquid fucking gold and I don’t give it out like its god damn tap water.

See girls, your pussy is powerless to me. What else you got?

You slip on a tight skirt and throw on some makeup and flaunt those nice tits and think your job is done. You shit-test me all the way into the bedroom expecting me to give you amused mastery and show you my status and give you attention and ignore you just right all at the same time, and then you’ll give me sex.

But why should I give you my valuable time and let you revel in my charisma?

Sex, is that the big deal? I’m supposed to feel so grateful that you blessed me with that magical unicorn pussy of yours?

I got news for you girls. For a guy with any clue, finding sex is as easy as finding a pizzeria in New York, and like pizza in New York, its all pretty fucking good.

Your brand ‘aint that special.

Sex is everywhere and anywhere I want it, I don’t give a shit about yours.

It takes more than a nice curve of the ass or a bat of the eyelashes to earn my seed.

My salty essence and genetic code is a gift from my father, and his father, and his father, and on it goes. Its the sticky genetic code of self-sufficient men who have protected and provided for family, women and children. Its the haplogroup of men who built civilization. I have the genetic lineage of warriors, business owners, firefighters, blacksmiths, farmers, herders, poets, politicians, soldiers, artists and even chefs. Hard jobs that help build the world, thinking jobs that help build a culture, they’ve all been done by men in my bloodline. My ceiling for accomplishment is limitless.

I’m not some average guy begging to give my seed away. My seed is valuable and I know it.

Men of lesser genetics may be able to afford spraying their seed anywhere; I allow myself no such atrocities.

My sperm could populate an entire society of strong good looking altruistic people and any girl who takes it in would be lucky to be a vessel towards that new world.

But for that I demand a high price.

Whether or not our sex is intended to end in pregnancy makes no difference. Just the sheer fact that it could makes me demand the same high price.

You better have enviable genetics yourself- I don’t breed with inferior stock. Beauty is the minimum and you better know how important that is. Long hair grown to impress me, healthy diet and exercise to maintain your figure and viability of your eggs.

But the beauty that draws the stares, stutters and drools of lesser men won’t capture my attention for more than a millisecond. I am inundated with a surplus of beauty in my daily pursuits, I can assure you that yours ‘aint that special. You probably look like shit first thing in the morning or on the first day of your period.

I expect impeccable hygiene and classy style. A body tainted by tattoos and excessive piercings and slutty clothing signals you are available for sex to lesser men than myself. I’ll have none of that.

I demand a low N count to show you value your body and sex, and the seed I am about to give you will be appreciated on the level it deserves. A low N count shows both intelligence and confidence as you are smart enough not to give your body to charlatans and scoundrels, and confident enough to wait for the high value man you know you deserve.

I expect manners and grace. No swearing, drunkenness, burping, sarcasm or anything else unbecoming of a lady. I spend a lot of time working with and competing against men in my daily life, the last thing I need is the company of a woman who acts like the men I must compete with. You exist to soothe, not to grate.

A year from now I will be richer and fitter and more socially respected in the Kingdom, but your beauty will have faded a notch. I demand that you treat me with the humility and respect that this biological reality dictates.

Finally, there is nothing I despise more than a woman who shows any disgust for my jizz.
It is the Royal Essence and you better enjoy every last drop.
If it lands on your face, chest or back, consider it raindrops from heaven, a rope of Holy Yogurt.
If you are lucky enough to get it in your mouth, savor it like the nourishing nectar of the Gods.
If I shoot it inside you consider it the greatest compliment of all. You will feel an immediate buzz.
My jizz is to women what Walter White’s pure blue meth is to junkies.
You’ll take my seed, sweetly tell me “thank you sir” and buzz with happy feminine energy for the next day while you iron my fine shirts and indulge in memories of me.

I’ll settle for nothing less.

Some girls don’t want to respect a man that much. They have been poisoned by feminism or never had a strong male figure to look up to growing up or they have already taken far too high a volume of cock to revere their next one. I have no use for those girls. Even a one-night stand with them is worthless beyond the ten-second orgasm, itself not worth the time spent to get it. Leave them for the men who have a low enough opinion of themselves to not demand such respect.

For guys, I don’t give a shit how many girls you’ve fucked just like I don’t give a shit how many pizzerias you’ve eaten at. A man is measured more by the pizzeria’s he refuses to eat at, the prices he refuses to pay for average pizza, if you know what I mean.

Remember, you set the price of your seed.

Mine is fucking gold.

What’s yours?

PERSONAL/DATING: THE IT FACTOR

Its really hard to up-sale yourself and be completely honest for this is the time to be! Not wanting to waste your time or mine. I have decided that it was time to be more serious about what I want.. With that being said, I am just a man who is looking for that one woman who can be my best friend with the "it" factor. I want someone who thinks I am amazing and challenges me to be better. I want to be that for them. The "IT" factor...“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak  when they walk into a room and smile at you.” Are you looking for things we may have in common? Well, Traveling is on my list of things I like to do. From a day road trip to a weekend getaway..I love the ocean in the winter and will go there if given a choice. My relationship with my family and friends are very important to me! My faults? Well, there aren't many...lol Just kidding. Hmmm...let me think about what my ex would say about me...I can be stubborn, I am too trusting, I tend to defend those in my life as I can see both sides to a lot of issues, I don't like confrontation and when presented with a problem will use compromise to deal with it, I like honesty and am allergic to someone who tells lies...break out in hives and start twitching uncontrollably. My strengths? I am adaptable. I am loyal, love to debate stuff(no,not argue)  I like life and feel that Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about dancing in the rain. Hmmm...so if you have gotten this far, you are probably wondering what I am looking for in a woman? Preferences definitely but that is all they are. My  two request...please be kind and either slim to athletic. I do not have the time nor the energy for drama. I am NOT looking for a booty call, a hook up, if you think I am, move on.. One last thing..  Thanks for stopping in.

PERSONAL : FROM THE DAY WE MET

From the day we met...ever since the day we met my life has been touched.My dreams have been more beautiful. The stars shine brighter then before.The sun seems so much warmer since i found someone to adore.You've changed my life in many ways. My heart has grown so strong. It's all because of you my love...it has been all along. I'm sure you know i love you. I just want to thank you too. I have no idea where i'd be if it wasn't for meeting you.

Dear You,

I might have been in on online dating for a while now.So in all honesty I don't really remember when you responded to me. But I do remember what became of our encounter. It was a chance meeting, one of hundreds I had online. You chat with someone, get to know them , possibly met and then you wave goodbye, consigning them to a small place in a distant memory

I'd finished work and came home and went to the computer and that's when I read your respond to me. So there we were, two striking up a conversation on the world wide web.. We established we were both looking for love, established we were both wanted kids, and then swapped number. Once we heard each other phone...we never stopped talking.

Before I met you, I couldn't imagine living my life with just one person. Now, I can't imagine my life without you--the idea of one day without you is painful to think about! Before I knew you, "forever" was something I had heard about, but something I couldn't fathom. Now I know that we're supposed to be together, and no matter where I am, as long as I'm with you, that's where I want to be. You are my life, my heart, my soul. Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything, and I can't imagine what I'd do without you." I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life devoted to making you happy, committed to the eternal joy we will find together.

I love you and I need you. You complete me. You're a part of every fiber of my being, and you're constantly on my mind. You must be exhausted, always running through my thoughts by day and in my dreams by night.

For someone who'd had little hope in finding love on line..it was the dream come true. Maybe I've had a little too much time on hands recently, sitting and thinking, but I've become slightly obsessed with these chance encounters you have and how they change your life. It seems like when you are online you meet far more people than you would at home, which opens you up to all of these random moments of chance. That I met you was pure luck, a timely spin of fortune's wheel. Life is like that, a thousand encounters that could change your life - and that one did.Of course, I've also had about a million chance encounters that have amounted to absolutely nothing. It's the same for most people, these random meetings with nothing to show for it. But every now and then, maybe just once, a person will cross your path online, or wherever it was, and offer to change your life. Make sure you take the chance.Big changes come out of ordinary encounters—even something as ordinary as personal ad.

PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR SWEETNESS

My Sweetness,

Remember that day I responded to your profile? There were so many of them and then with somewhere between searching for someone who didn't smoke and want kids I found you. A year has passed since then

My whole world has changed for the better now that you love me. When I think of you, I can't help smiling from ear to ear. (What must people be thinking when they look at me?) Because of your example, I find that I am much kinder to people. I'm happy. I'm so full of love that it is reflected in everything I do. I treat my co-workers with more thoughtfulness. I've even become a considerate driver!

I love the time we spend together. Each weekend I look forward to seeing you. I never feel more at peace than when we simply hold hands, watch the sunset, and whisper how we feel. I love listening to your voice.

I want you to know you can always depend upon my love. It is alive and true, and grows stronger each day. I promise I will always love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

We are perfect for each other: our zest for life, our stubborn determination, and our looking at the world with a cockeyed sense of humor. Aren't we glad that we both enjoy onion rings with mustard, the front-row in roller-coasters, and "short" Monopoly? Then, of course, there are my peanut butter and banana sandwiches--I think you're actually starting to develop a taste for them now! Most importantly, we share love. We're good for each other in so many ways, and we always find ways to lift and encourage each other.

Cole Porter couldn't have said it any better...

You're the Nile! You're the Tow'r of Pisa,

You're the smile of the Mona Lisa!

I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!

But if baby I'm the bottom,

You're the top!

PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR LOVE

Dear Love

I've just been sitting here recalling what my life was like before I met you. Life! That's a joke. Eight months ago life meant going through the motions, monotonous movements, no joy, no sadness, no ups, and no downs--just one long stream of tedium. Then one day you responded to my profile and there you were--beautiful, happy, intelligent and incredible. Suddenly, I came alive--and I've been alive ever since.

It happened that very first time when I read what you wrote to me--I fell in love with you. How do I know? Because the feeling never left me and it has grown ever since. I think it always will. The lights went on. Instantly, life was exciting; colors seemed brighter; songs crisper; tastes more enjoyable. I ceased walking and began leaping. I realized that there is a whole wonderful world ready to explore--with the right person.

With you, I am at ease. I don't have to try so hard to talk about movies or music or politics or books (who would have thought I could find someone with those interests in common?). I love being with you when we split a caramel sundae, stroll the park hand-in-hand without having to force a conversation, and cuddle up in front of the TV. Simple pleasures. I'm content and happy when I am with you.

I love you. From the depths of my heart, I love you to an extent that I never thought possible, and I know I always will. I cannot imagine life without you now. I want my life to be your life. I want to spend every minute of every day with you. I want to experience all that life has to offer--the good and the bad--with you at my side. I want to grow up and grow old with you. I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. I want to feel the warmth of your kiss and whisper words of love into your ear. You are all that is good and beautiful; you satisfy all the longing that was in me--body and soul. Tell me I will never again be relegated to a colorless, mundane world.

As I sit here in the quiet of my room trying to compose this letter and express feelings that poets have struggled to say, I am reminded of lyrics that might say it best: "Who knows how long I've loved you? You know I love you still. Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you promise to, I will."

My sweetie, please don't make me wait a lonely lifetime. If you promise to, I will.

I love you.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR LOVE

Dear Love,

You've brought me so much happiness and joy that I can scarcely contain it all. I'm sure beams of light radiate from me wherever I go. I noticed a few raised eyebrows at work when I started coming in bright and early (on time, every time!), smiling and energized, humming some love song I heard on the radio while driving in. My medical assistant wanted to know what's up with me, but they don't understand I am filled with secrets that cannot be shared or even expressed in words. So I just told them that I'm seeing someone and it's the real thing this time.

It's very strange because, even when we're apart, I feel that I'm still with you. I remember what it's like to hold you, to kiss you, to make love to you, as those delicious sensations never really leave me. We respond to each other so naturally and completely I believe the gods must have created us to complete each other's existence. Ours is a union that reaches beyond the mere physical into mystical planes that take my breath away. You are part of my very being now and I could never be complete or whole without you. Tell me I will never again have to return to that mundane existence I knew before I met you!

This morning I woke at dawn, still wrapped in the memory of last night, repeating over and over that line from that old Hollies' song: "Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you." I know what that means now because I know how that feels now. Tell me we can always be together! 

I love you.

ARTICLE: NY TIMES> HOW I FOUND LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP ONLINE By SUSAN HOGAN

How I Found Love and Companionship Online

By SUSAN HOGAN

I am in my late 50s and should be a better shopper by now. But the word “sale” still seduces me and although men are not exactly on sale on Match.com they are, in effect, for sale. Match.com is ubiquitous with millions of registered singles and although it is easy to weed out the ones with certain politics, geographical areas, and the ones who have been on Match.com for years, I am easily seduced by a reasonable photo and a humorous profile.

There are around 700 presumably available men within 50 miles of me, but many cannot use proper grammar or capital letters correctly. Sometimes there are so many errors in their profile paragraphs, I am unable to read them. O.K., I admit it; I am an English teacher, but still ... One man wrote, “nice to meet you, your nice.:)” Even if I ignored the smiley face and the homonym error, how could he say, “we met?” Some ask questions in their profiles such as “I think people take themselves too seriously, don’t you?” Many men write that they are “working on” themselves. I was unsure what that meant and had a visual picture of hammers and nails, until a friend suggested that their first marriages ended because they were real jerks, and they are trying to do better.

I joined Match.com about three months ago, have been on nine first dates, and I am beginning to feel discouraged. My first date was with someone who turned out to be vaguely hostile. We met at an attractive restaurant in Lenox after two weeks of sending witty messages back and forth. Unfortunately, in person he was humorless and disagreeable. He didn’t smile at me even when we shook hands. He said I was out of touch with the country’s politics because I grew up in Boston, which he called “a bastion of elite intellectuals.” I said that I grew up in a working-class section of the city and that neither of my parents had gone to college. He pretended not to hear this. But looking back, I realize there was nothing substantive in the correspondence. We had just ordered drinks and I was thinking that this might be a bad idea since he hadn’t yet smiled at me. At one point I said, “Well, this isn’t working out all that well.” I thought about leaving then, but thought that such outright hostility on my part might be unwise. I didn’t want this guy following me home.

It takes about five back-and-forth emails before a meeting is arranged. Then it is best to choose a cafe. If there is a next meeting, then it is usually dinner.

Most of the time I get discouraged very quickly and wonder why the men look so little like their photos and why in person they lack the pizzazz apparent in their emails.

The next worst date was at a cafe in Albany. He was in the restroom when I arrived so I ordered a latte and sat down. We shook hands —his was still wet from the restroom — and then he went to the counter and came back with a tea and a rather large chocolate cookie wrapped in plastic. He unwrapped half of it and began slowly taking bites. He didn’t offer me any and went on to say how much he hated the Capital District and was planning to leave. He told me he retired at age 55 from the New York City school system and had worked there just to put in the time. I felt sorry for his students. At this point only 10 minutes had passed and I began looking at my watch and thinking of an excuse to get away. I was wondering if there was some way to program my phone to ring, and I could pretend it was my daughter who needed me home. I wondered if he would remember that my daughter was away at college in another state. Still, it would be better than nothing.

Driving home after a bad date is a complicated experience. I feel relief at getting away, but this is mixed with a bit of anger at myself about the clues I must have missed in our communication. Often I wear disposable contact lenses on the first date and driving home I start calculating how much money I wasted. Aside from the Match.com membership, which is about $30 a month, I figure each date costs me about $27. Never mind the two hours of life I will never get back.

I was widowed quite unexpectedly three years ago. My husband and I had a long marriage and we were married young enough to grow into our quirks together. People become more of who they are as they age, so what may be a fairly mild quirk at 30 grows into a full-blown neurosis by 55. Trying to date a 60-year-old man is daunting if not impossible.

The concept of “Dutch treat” (is that term still used?) is an awkward one. There is a definite protocol here. A friend told me when he started dating in middle age that he thought women would be insulted if he picked up the check. He said it would be seen as chauvinistic. I’m not sure how young women handle this check business, but even though I offer to pay for myself, I expect the man to say, “That’s O.K., I have it.”

One of the most enjoyable topics of conversation is Match.com itself. I revel in hearing about bad dates. The ones who didn’t show up. The crazy ones, the ones who have food issues.

My 30-year-old niece is also on Match.com. She has it a bit easier; she lives in Brooklyn and works in Midtown Manhattan. She meets men before work in a Starbucks next to her office. She is already dressed well and if the date doesn’t show up or is unbearable, she takes her coffee to go and skips into her mega office building

Here in upstate New York everything involves travel and parking. There is really no such thing as an easy date.

Last Thanksgiving I was surprised to hear my niece telling me I was doing it all wrong. I should not be the one to make the first contact. I should never answer a man’s email on Saturday night since this implies I am home. She told me men want to hunt and I was to be the “prey.” This is not a concept I find very appealing.

About two months into my Match.com subscription I began looking for a dog. After a few inquiries I found the site Petfinders.org, which is a colossal clearinghouse for small rescue groups. It is probably larger than Match.com. Unlike the dating site, there is no fee to join, but the adoption costs can climb quite high, to $300 to $500. There are filters for the type of pet: cat, dog, farm animal and then more filters for age, size and breed. Some of these organizations wouldn’t even consider me because I work during the day and don’t have a fenced-in yard. In my emails I often have to sell myself. Unlike the process of looking for a boyfriend, in these emails I am encouraged to discuss my past relationships. I am asked how many dogs I have had and most important how the relationships ended. Death by old age is the only correct answer.

Women run most of these sites, and many of them use the first person when they describe the dogs in the profiles. “I am a happy boy, completely house trained and looking for someone special to love. I am neutered, and once I find my special person, I am very loyal.”

I eventually found a 2-year-old dog and like many of the men on Match.com he appeared younger and thinner in his online photo than he is in reality. Our first date was less involved since it was agreed that he was to come home with me after the first 10 minutes. The wariness came later after he was already living here. He certainly offers me loyalty and companionship, but is terrible in restaurants and stuffs himself on stale popcorn at the movies.

ARTICLE/SPIRIT: NYTIMES>> DESPERATELY SEEKING CHRISTY By JOANN KLIMKIEWICZ

This article gives me hope...with the power of attraction...


Desperately Seeking Christy

By JOANN KLIMKIEWICZ

It was 2007, and like anyone else with a yoga mat and a DVR set to record “Oprah,” my sister, Donna, and I were reading “The Secret,” the best-selling self-help book by Rhonda Byrne that espoused the cosmic “law of attraction.” Filled with the usual platitudes of the genre, it also held out this tantalizing promise: Whatever you desired — a better relationship, a fatter paycheck — you could draw into your life with the magnet of your mind. You just had to concentrate on what you wanted as if it were already on its way.

Donna and I agreed it amounted to magical thinking, but we were both hovering around 30, our romantic lives stalled, our bank accounts anemic; we were angsty and longing for more. Who were we to thumb our noses at a little magical thinking?

“What we need is a test,” Donna said one night. While we could tick off a list of worthy contenders — a Manhattan penthouse, the romantic attentions of a literary John Stamos-type — my sister worried those might be too grandiose to “secret” on our first try. (It had become a verb!) We needed to start with something emotionally low-risk yet readily identifiable if we were to be successful in our hocus-pocus.

My eyes fell to the yoga book on her coffee table, its author gazing serenely from the cover. “I know: Let’s secret Christy Turlington!” I said. Donna’s eyes flickered with intrigue. We considered the author photo, itself the gauzy embodiment of what we longed for — all inner peace and toned yoga arms — and decided to try to attract a ’90s supermodel into our lives.

My sister tacked pictures of Turlington around her apartment the way our mother once tucked prayer cards of Pope John Paul II around our childhood home. I visualized Turlington before bedtime and spent my commute imagining our conversation (“That’s my favorite yoga pose, too!”). During my commute, I thought nice thoughts about her, giving her mental props for her social activism, her shiny hair.

At least, I tried. Problem was, outside the experiment, I was pretty neutral on matters Turlington. My mind wandered during my secret-ing rituals, and I had to downgrade to repeating her name, mantra-like: Chris-ty Tur-ling-ton. Chris-ty Tur-ling-ton.

“This is stupid,” I phoned my sister to report after two days. “I feel like I’m stalking a celebrity. With my mind.” Actually, it felt more than stupid; it felt wrong. And not for obvious reasons.

A product of strict Polish-Catholic upbringing, I learned early which matters were appropriate to take up with a higher power. On that point, my Catechism teacher had been clear: safety, guidance, forgiveness. The thrill of having your crush notice you in the hallway? Don’t bother, she said. Our parents reinforced this modesty of desire, passing down the belief that there was something inherently greedy, even sinful in being so audacious with longing. My sister and I learned to trim back the overgrowth of our ambitions, to keep our dreams small.

But now Christy Turlington was opening us up to other possibilities. Even as our passion for the experiment eventually waned, we began to peel back the suffocating layers of our youth, to let out the seams of our snugly tailored dreams. Turlington became, for us, something of a private symbol. (Me: I’ll never be able to get that job. Donna: Christy Turlington!) Our weeks with her taught us that living expectantly of good fortune wasn’t greedy; it brought a lightness of being that wasn’t even dependent on those fortunes coming true. And maybe, given time, some magic would happen.

A few years later, I was living in downtown Manhattan and happily married (to a man my sister insists I secreted) when I decided to indulge my fantasy of joining a high-end exercise studio. I knew I couldn’t afford it, but why not indulge the dream with a tour? I visited the swanky facility, feeling giddy with possibility as I got back on the elevator to leave.

“Can you hold that?” someone called. I pressed the “door open” button for a tall woman still glistening from her workout. Her smile was bright, and her eyes met mine. We ended up walking together for a few blocks, comparing notes about exercise studios and the neighborhood, in which, it turned out, she also lived.

“Well, nice meeting you,” she said, our paths finally diverging. “You’re going to love this neighborhood. Hopefully you join the studio!” Then we parted ways. Through it all, my knees were rubbery. There was no way Christy Turlington could have known it wasn’t because I was star-struck.