PERSONAL/THOUGHTS: WHEN THINGS DON'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN

We each have a grand plan for our life based on age. My was something like this:

•    In my teens, I’ll get into a good college and become a doctor
•    In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
•    By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
•    In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
•    In my forties,I will be just doing what I am doing.
•    In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
•    In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.

Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchange a couple of details and these types of age confined dreams are quite universal. So what happens when things don’t go as expected? What happens when instead of two kids in our thirties,  you end up divorce and having your heart in two pieces? You feel broken; not only is my was heart shattered, my self-perception also.

This just was not supposed to happen to me at this age! but I have to believe that the universe has something better in store.I have to have hope. I have never, ever seen a case where someone who has embraced the changes in their life did not end up happier. I will too. My past relationship(s) were not a waste of time. Everything that has happened has made me who I am  today and ahead awaits an even greater experience.

Right now I am alone and scared.I am afraid of getting older and being alone. I am not suppose to tell you that..but why not just be honest. On this website there are thousands of visitors (no exaggeration) looking to get over an old love in order to find a new one. I know that I am not alone. The times have changed and people are looking to be in a healthy, loving relationship. As such, there is no dearth of available women. I have gone through the stepped process for recovery and I am ready to dating again.

I feel like damaged good.  Almost all of us have had experiences which have left us feeling less than perfect; I have always been puzzled by the statement when I tell them .... “I am divorced.

I really feel like a new person; one who is genuinely happy with my life, and surrounded by amazing people who care about me — an overall good life. I am very lucky, but I assumed that after my divorce, despite all this, I would never want to be in a relationship again, and never ever believed I would fall in love.

But something in me has changed. Two of my good friends, who are dating, are clearly so in love with one another. It is just a beautiful thing to see. And it is not just the love. It is the mutual respect, joy, care, and laughter that just flow from them both. It is wonderful. It is what you wish for all those you care about to find in this world. It just fills me with joy that two people I care about have found someone who really understands how special and fantastic they each are.

So, I decided that I couldn’t close that part of my life off. I have met women who were nice, some not so nice, but each person I encountered helped me realize what I wanted.