DATING: SEX QUESTION TO ASK YOUR PARTNER

About You

What is the size of your penis/breasts?
Does your penis have a curve?
Are you circumsized?
Have you ever had an STD?
Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?
What type of underwear are you wearing?
What is your favorite type of underwear?
When was your last erection/arousal?
Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?
Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself?
Explain your ultimate fantasy.
What are your turn-ons?
What are your turn-offs?
What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been turned on by?
Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)?
Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude?
Did it include sexual acts?
If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?
What was your latest sex dream about?
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone?
Was it about anyone other than your lover?
What was the last fantasy about?
Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger?
Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them?
Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?
How often do you fantasize about other people?
Have you ever showered with someone?
Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone?
Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality?
Do you orgasm easily?
Have you ever played “7 minutes in heaven”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played “spin the bottle”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played “Truth or dare”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc?
Do you shave your pubic hair?
Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved?
Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept?
What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?
Do you own any lingerie?
How much lingerie do you own?
Whats your favorite lingerie outfit?
Do you like the way your genitals look?
Are you comfortable naked?
Masturbation

Do you masturbate?
How old were you when you first masturbated?
How often do you masturbate?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you masturbate to any stimulus?
What do you think about?
What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?
Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating?
Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating?
Have you ever had cyber sex?
Have you ever had phone sex?
Have you ever had a wet dream?
What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)
Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)
Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?
Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated to someone?
Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?
Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?
Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story?
Whats your funniest masturbation story?
Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?
Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?
Whats the easiest way for you to get off?
Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)
Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?
Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?
Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character?
Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)
What is the strangest object you’ve used to masturbate vaginally or anally?
Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?
Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?
Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)
What position do you typically masturbate in?
Describe a typical masturbation session.
How often do you usually last?
Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?
What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?
What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?
Relationships

Are you straight/bi/gay/etc?
How many relationships have you been in?
What has been your longest relationship?
How old were you when you had your first relationship?
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Have you ever used an online dating site?
What do you look for in a partner?
What do you look for in a hookup?
Have you ever had a one-night-stand?
Have you ever been a booty call?
Have you ever had a booty call?
Who was it?
Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits?
Who was it?
Have you ever cheated on a partner? Explain.
Have you ever been cheated on? Explain.
Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you?
Porn & Sex Industry

Do you watch porn?
How often do you watch porn?
What is your favorite category?
When is the last time you watched porn and what was it?
How do you feel about hentai (Anime Porn)?
How do you feel about gang-bang porn?
How do you feel about cumshot porn?
How do you feel about lesbian porn?
How do you feel about amateur porn?
How do you feel about cuckold/cuckqueen/swinging porn?
How do you feel about threesome porn?
How do you feel about teen porn?
How do you feel about Japanese/Asian porn?
How do you feel about mature porn?
How do you feel about ebony porn?
How do you feel about bondage porn?
How do you feel about masturbation/solo porn?
How do you feel about rough/violent/humiliating porn?
How do you feel about BBW porn?
How do you feel about orgy/party porn?
How do you feel about trans/shemale porn?
How do you feel about POV porn?
How do you feel about blowjob porn?
How do you feel about bukkake?
How do you feel about extreme porn?
Have you ever tried to recreate a scene?
Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want?
Has a partner ever used porn to show you what they like/want?
Who is your favorite pornstar(s)?
Have you considered getting into porn?
Have you considered being a webcam performer?
Have you watched cam girls?
Do you have a favorite cam girl?
Have you ever watched porn with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever watched a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever performed in a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Do you frequent strip clubs?
Do you have a favorite strip club?
Do you have a favorite stripper/dancer?
Do you get lap dances or just watch the performances?
Whats your best strip club experience?
Most embarrassing strip club experience?
Funniest strip club experience?
Have you ever orgasmed from a lap dance? Describe the experience(s).
Sex

Are you a virgin?
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
If you haven’t, when would you like to?
Explain your first time in detail.
How many sexual partners have you had?
Who was your best sex partner?
Did you tell someone after you lost your virginity? Who?
Do you give oral sex?
Have you received oral sex?
Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex?
Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience?
Do you have any friends you would hookup with?
Have you wanted to have sex with someone, but couldn’t? Why couldn’t you?
Do you like dirty talking?
Do you like being called names?
Do you like being called obscene names? (Bitch/Slut/Whore/Sissy/etc)
Are you loud or quiet in bed?
Whats your favorite position?
Have you ever invented a position?
Whats the strangest position you’ve tried?
Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking?
When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you received oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you gave oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you had anal sex? Describe the experience(s).
Which celebrities would you want to have sex with?
Any fictional characters you want to hookup with?
Have you ever had shower sex? How was it?
What is your favorite position(s)?
Where is the strangest or wildest place you’ve had sex/oral?
Have you ever broken up with someone because they couldn’t satisfy you?
Have you used anything to improve sexual performance? (Penis Extenders/Tingling Lube/Cock Rings)
Whats your most embarrassing sexual experience?
Whats your funniest sex experience?
Have you ever had any performance issues? What were they?
Are you on birth control?
Do you use condoms?
Have you ever faked an orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Can other people get you off?
Is there only one way you can cum? (i.e. Clitoral Stimulation Only/Anal Only/Toy/Specific Position)
Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone?
Have you ever been stopped mid-sex? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex outdoors? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in public? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in front of others? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a car? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever given or received road head? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex/oral/manual sex in a movie theater? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a fitting room? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a plane? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex at work? Describe the experience(s).
Explain your best sex experience in detail.
Which non-genital parts of your body do you like being touched or stimulated?
Do you ever take pictures or videos when you have sex? Explain the experience(s).
Have you ever given a strip tease to a partner?
Have you ever given a lap dance to a partner?
Have you ever received a strip tease from a partner?
Have you ever received a lap dance from a partner?
Have you ever “titty-fucked” before?
Has someone ever “titty-fucked” your breasts?
Do you prefer your partner to be vocal/moan loudly?
Do you enjoy having your nipples played with?
Do you ever role-play?
What situations or themes have you role-played?
What would you like to role-play?
Do you role play with costumes?
Do prefer lingerie in the bedroom?
Do you enjoy rough sex?
What would you like to improve about your sex life?
Have you ever gone into public with hickeys? Did you know they were there?
Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience.
Would you like to have a threesome?
Who would you like to have a threesome with?
Would your partner be okay with a threesome?
Would you like to be with two men at the same time?
Would you like to be with to girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two guys at the same time?
Have you ever been double penetrated? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had every hole filled or been involved with filling each hole? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever tried ’69’? Explain the experience.
Do you like cum or is it gross?
Have you ever tasted cum? Do you like it?
Where is your favorite place to cum or receive cum?
Have you ever had sex while on a period/with someone on a period?
Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind?
Have you ever used a buttplug while having sex?
Have you used any form of sex furniture? What kind?
Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom with a partner? What kind? Describe the experience(s).
Do you eat ass?
Do you like to have your ass eaten?
Have you ever anally fingered your partner?
Do you like prostate play?
Is it gay for a man to enjoy anal stimulation from a woman?
Have you ever experienced a prostate orgasm?
Have you ever double penetrated/been double penetrated with the assistance of a toy?
Have you ever experimented with the same sex? Describe the experience(s).
Do you prefer sex with a man or with a woman?
Have you ever had sex with another couple(s) monogamously? (Not touching the other couple(s))
Have you ever watched another couple have sex?
Have you ever gotten cum in your eye?
Has anyone ever cum inside you on accident? How did you feel about that?
Have you ever cum inside someone on accident? How did they respond?
Have you ever cum in your pants? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever sexted?
Do you like to play with balls/have your balls played with?
Are hand jobs boring or are they underrated?
Describe your average orgasm.
Describe your average cumshot.
Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?
Whats the quickest you’ve ever brought someone else to orgasm?
How long are you usually able to last?
What’s the most times you’ve had sex (or sexual contact with a partner) in a day?
Whats your longest sex session?
Toys

Have you ever bought a sex toy?
What is the last sex toy you bought?
What sex toy do you currently want?
Would you let someone buy you a sex toy?
How many toys do you own?
What kind of toys do you own?
What is your favorite toy?
Have you ever used a washer/dryer as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a pocket pussy or Fleshlight?
Have you ever improvised a sex toy? (Cucumber/Banana/Etc.)
What is the strangest sex toy you’ve ever used?
What is the strangest improvised sex toy you’ve ever used?
Do you prefer sex toys or the real thing?
Do you own any buttplugs?
Do you ever wear a buttplug in public?
Do you have any vibrating panties?
Do you ever wear vibrating panties in public?
Do you like nipple clamps?
Fetishes

What fetishes do you have?
What is your favorite fetish?
Have you indulged in all your fetishes?
What fetishes are you yet to experience?
Are there any fetishes you don’t have yet, but may be interested in?
Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it?
Are you a top/dominant a bottom/submissive or a switch?
What is it about BDSM that you like?
Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience.
Have you experienced rope play? Describe the experience.
Do you enjoy long, extended teasing/edging sessions?
What is the longest you’ve been teased/edged?
Do you enjoy tease and denial?
Do you like to be denied?
Do you have a panty fetish?
Have you ever purchased panties from a woman online?
Have you ever used panties to masturbate? (Stuffing/Wrapping/Etc.)
Do you have a hosiery fetish?
Do you like pain?
Do you like spanking/being spanked?
What do you prefer to use to spank? (Paddles/Hands/Whips/Etc)
Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard?
Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard?
Do you like to bite or be bit?
Do you like to slap or be slapped?
Do you like pulling or having your hair pulled?
What is your safe-word?
Have you ever done a cum-walk? (Walking in public with cum on your face/clothes/etc)
Would you do a cum-walk?
Are you an exhibitionist?
What was your best exhibitionism experience?
Are you a cuckold?
Are you a cuckqueen?
Are you a hotwife?
Are you a bull?
Would you like to watch your partner have sex with another person?
Would you like to have your partner watch you with another person?
Have you ever been cuckolded? Describe the experience
Explain your best cuckold experience
What is it about cuckolding that you like?
Do you like to be humiliated?
Do you like to humiliate your partner?
Do you like to be humiliated while cuckolding or do you prefer a friendly environment.
Do you like to be forced into crossdressing?
Do you like to be forced into feminization?
Do you like to be forced into sissification?
Have you ever fisted? Explain the experience.
Do you like extreme insertion? Have you ever experienced it?
Are you a swinger?
Do you soft-swap or hard-swap?
Have you ever been to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Would you ever go to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Explain your best swinging experience.
Would you ever participate in an orgy? (4 or more people)
Would you ever participate in a gang bang? (4 or more people)
Have you ever pegged/been pegged? Describe the experience.
Do you peg often?
What is it about pegging that you like?
Describe your best pegging experience.
Do you enjoy large strap on dildos or smaller?
Do you enjoy sucking or having your strap on sucked?
Do you like incest?
Have you ever experienced incest?
Do you like face-sitting/smothering?
Do you have experience in face-sitting/smothering?
Do you like weapon play?
Do you like forced cum eating?
Do you like rape play?
Have you experienced rape play?
Do you like to be dominated?
Have you ever been dominated online?
Whats the most humiliating thing you’ve been forced to do?
Do you enjoy pet-play?
Do you like daddy dom/little play? Describe the experience(s).
Do you like to be worshiped?
Do you like to worship?
Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner?
Do you like to keep the slave play in the bedroom or carry it over to real life?
Have you ever been suspended while having sex?
Do you like ball-busting/CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)?
Do you like to be told what to do?
Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions)
Describe your best JOI experience.
Have you ever given or received a foot job?
Would you ever swap cum with your partner?
Have you ever tried fetching? (Sucking cum from a partners anus or vagina after finishing)
Do you like watersports?
Do you like sounding?
Would you participate in a bukkake?
Do you enjoy brat play?
Have you ever participated in chastity?
What is the longest you’ve been locked up or forced a partner to be locked up?
Have you ever cum while in chastity?
Have you ever experienced a full friction/lap dance?
Have you ever cum or made someone cum from a full friction lap dance/grinding?
Do you enjoy outercourse/hotdogging/pussyjobs?
Do you enjoy cumming or watching someone cum over strange objects?
What is the strangest way anyone has made you cum?
What is the strangest way you’ve made anyone cum?
Do you enjoy forced cum eating?
Do you enjoy premature ejactulation?
Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had your prostate milked or milked a prostate?
This or That

Vaginal or Anal
Vaginal or Oral
Oral or Anal
Handjob or Oral
Handjob or Anal
Handjon or Vaginal
What feels better, masturbation or sex
Rough Sex or Intimate Sex
Car Sex or Outdoor Sex
Dominant or Submissive
Spit or Swallow
Facial or Cum on Tits
Facial or Cum in Mouth
Facial or Cum on Ass
Facial or Cum on Belly
Cum on Tits or Cum in Mouth
Cum on tits or Cum on Ass
Cum on Tits or Cum on Belly
Facial or Creampie
Facial or Anal Creampie
Vaginal Creampie or Anal Creampie
Circumcised or Uncircumcised
Boxers or Briefs
Tits or Ass
Ruined or Complete Orgasm
Vaginal or Clitoral Orgasm
Prostate Orgasm or Regular
Cuckolding or Swinging
Pegging or Grinding
Lap Dance or Strip Tease
Grinding Orgasm or Titty-Fucking Orgasm
Be Humiliated or Worshiped
Footjob or Hotdogging
Lace Panties or Cotton Panties
Latex or Leather
Silicone Dildo or Glass Dildo
Dildo or Vibrator
Hitachi or Sybian
Real Cock or Sex Toy Cock
Real Pussy or Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy
Cam Sites or Porn Sites
Strip Clubs or Porn
Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning
Faked Orgasm or Premature Ejaculation
Cum on Clothes or Cum in Hair
Lingerie or Naked
CFNM or Naked
Corset or Bustier
Thongs or Cheekies
Porn or Sex
JOI or Lap Dance
Fishnets or Nylons
Big Dick or Small Dick
9" Dick or 4.5"Dick
Length or Girth
Big Tits or Small Tits
Petite or Chunky
Muscular or Average
Beard or Shaven
Pubic Hair or None
Thigh Gap or Thick Thighs
Twerking or Slow Tease
Prostate Orgasm or Frenulum Orgasm
Anal, Clitoral or G-Spot Orgasm
Big Ass or Tight, Toned Ass
Skinny or big
Nerdy or Preppy
Cheerleader or Nurse
Firefighter or Cop
Sex on the Beach or Sex on a Plane
Sex in Public or Sex in a Car
Vibrating Panties or Butt Plug
Ball Licking or Rimming
Nipple Stimulation or Neck Stimulation
Hair Pulling or Spanking
Choking or Slapping
Big Dildo or Small Dildo
Realistic Dildo or Smooth Dildo
On Top or On Bottom
Long Hair or Short Hair
Giving Head or Receiving Head
Getting Anal or Giving Anal
Pussy and Anal Penetration or Ass and Mouth Penetration
Two Girls or Two Guys
Bukakke or Glory Hole
Reverse Gang Bang or Male Gang Bang
Doggy Style or Missionary
Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl  
Cuckold or Be Cuckolded
Cum On Someone or Be Cummed On
Drunk Sex or High Sex
Slow or Fast
Veiny Dick or Curved Dick

PERSONAL: THE SECOND HOLIDAY WITHOUT MY DAD AND I AM A MESS

Last year I was totally numb during Thankgiving and Christmas.  I was simply going through the motions , about to experience the worst holiday in my life. I had just lost my dad in May, I was still very much in a state of shock. Doing normal Thankgiving or Christmas things seemed unimaginable.

My dad was larger than life. He was most often the loudest, most joyful person in the room at family gatherings, especially during the holidays. They were his absolute favorite. I simply could not imagine spending a  Thanksgiving or Christmas without him there. It was unfathomable that I would go shopping and not buy him a gift. And as I thought about ringing in the new year, the only thing I could think was that 2017 would be the first calendar year that would not include my dad.

My inner grief was taking over every thought. Every potential joy was trumped by the fact that my dad was not there to experience it too. And as I was struggling internally with my overwhelming grief, everything going on around me seemed to fall apart. It was as if the universe was aligning to ensure I would have the worst holiday ever.

Without my dad, everything just seemed so much quieter. It felt as if we were merely pretending to celebrate . The joyful, festive atmosphere was not there. I think each one of us was in our own private echo chamber of grief. Because even within the same family, every person experiences their grief differently.

This year is worse.I am not nearly as ‘together’ as I thought I would be.  It just became  more real that my dad is truly gone and the holidays would never look and feel exactly the same again.  This of course does not mean the holidays can’t still be wonderful, but it does mean they will always be at least a little hard, different and bittersweet.

This past week we had a tag sale in my mom house and we sold a lot of thing. One of the item was a piano.. I am total mess.

DATING: WHY LOYALITY IS SO IMPORTANT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP

One of the observations I've over years is that loyalty has become a very rare commodity. Growing up, I was taught that being loyal was an important part of who you were as a person. Just like I was taught to always tell the truth, to help others, to be kind, being loyal was an important element in making up the fabric of a person's character. The longer I live, the more I see loyalty missing in the character make-up of most people. Today, being loyal is not a component of who most people are.

Men and women who are in relationships are no longer loyal to their boyfriend, girlfriend  They think nothing of cheating on someone they are in a committed relationship with. Sadly, this mentality carries over into marriage which is why you have husbands and wives without conscience committing adultery, not even thinking about or caring about the consequences of their sin and how many lives it will hurt and even destroy.

Because so many children grow up today in a variety of living arrangements, many in blended families, there is not even loyalty to those in your own family any longer. These children grow up without ever being taught the importance of loyalty and sadly have parents and step-parents who model behavior that demonstrates no loyalty to anyone. So it is no wonder why these children grow up never learning how to be loyal, even to those in their own family.

Our failure in being loyal really boils down to one thing ... selfishness! 

We put ourselves above everyone else. The reason a person cheats on their boyfriend or girlfriend is that they are selfish. The reason a person cheats on their spouse is that they are selfish. The reason a person is not loyal to those in their family is that they are selfish. T

Loyalty requires a commitment to someone or something other than ourselves.

It often costs to be loyal. We want the benefits of a relationship, a marriage, having a family, our job, but we don't want to pay the price of having that relationship, being married, being part of a family, having a job. We all can be loyal when things are going good, but the true test of loyalty is during times of trouble.

SO WHAT DOES LOYALITY REALLY MEAN?

Loyalty in the personal realm, which comes out of love, devotion, dedication and commitment to the well being of another, is healthy.

No marital contract spells out, or even defines loyalty. Yet, both partners assume that this commitment will be honored. Loyalty does not only mean physical fidelity it includes emotional devotion. Being loyal in every aspect of a couple’s life has many manifestations. . Here are some ways in which loyalty is expressed in love:

• Being loyal means being respectful of your partners’ weaknesses and discretely helping them compensate for those weaknesses. For example, if your mate is absent minded and loses her keys often, you may help her set a system to make it easier for her to find things and help her search, when needed, without anger or shaming.
•  Being loyal means never saying anything that may shame your mate in private or public. "I don't love you" or " I don't want your sperm".
•  Being loyal means keeping confidences, without fail. Any information that is private, or labeled as secret must be vigilantly guarded as such. Telling “just one other person” means it will be told to one person at a time. If it is your partner’s secret, it may not be shared with ANYONE.
•  Being loyal means siding with your partner, even when you think he or she may be partially at fault. When your mate tells you about difficulties at work with a colleague or supervisor, it is imperative that you affirm your mate’s frustrations, empathize with his feelings and refrain from saying: “Your boss just wants you to work harder.” That assumption may be made later, not at a time of emotional difficulty for your mate.
•  Being loyal means reassuring your partner that you will be there emotionally and physically, whenever you are needed and following through with this promise. Your presence, helpful action and kind words are important signs of trust and security for your mate in the relationship. Many spouses hold resentments about their mates not being there at crisis points in their lives. These resentments can be avoided with conscious loyal behaviors.
•  Being loyal means not speaking disparagingly about your spouse to others. You may share YOUR frustrations with a close confidant without blaming your spouse.
•  Being loyal means that when others say less than positive comments about your mate, you abstain from joining them in discounting your partner. Even if their grudge bears some truth, it is incumbent upon you as a loyal mate, to defend your partner’s actions and present him in a more favorable light.
•  Being loyal means keeping your partner’s needs as primary over all other peoples’ needs. Any obligation or commitment to other people has to be assessed in importance, once your mate requires your attention. It does not mean that your parents do not get your attention until all your spouse’s needs are satisfied. It means that the spouse gets first priority in all-important or urgent matters.
•  Being loyal means keeping your word, being truthful and reliable in keeping your promises to your mate. Not honoring your word discredits you and disappoints your mate.
•  Being loyal means accommodating your mate- even when it not a choice activity for you. If your partner needs you to be present to help her with her volunteer party, your loyalty will aid you in rescheduling your previously planned recreational activity. If your spouse wants you to attend his business meeting, which is less than thrilling for you, you do it with grace.

ADVANTAGES OF BEING LOYAL:

1. Being faithful to your lover encourages your lover to be faithful to you.

2. Being faithful makes your relationship/marriage last. The quickest and easiest way to end your relationship/marriage is by cheating.

3. Being faithful gives you peace of mind, you don’t have to watch your tracks, you are not paranoid, trying to remember every lie you say.

4. Being faithful boosts the quality of your sex life. Faithfulness is sexy. When your spouse knows you are faithful your spouse will give you great sex, no one feels safe sexing a spouse who has been with another.

5. Being faithful makes you focus on your relationship/marriage. You are not distracted, flirting with another/s or sexing another/others. Focus makes you have a healthy love life.

6. If you don’t want to be faithful, why are you in that relationship/marriage? What is the point of committing if you will not be exclusive? If you are tired of the commitment, end it; don’t stay and cheat, that shows how low you stoop, making a mockery out of your commitment.

7. Faithfulness sets the right example for your children to follow. Children learn from our actions and behavior.

8. Being faithful has a positive effect on your character. That way, you are able to live out your greatness with confidence. Integrity is important, and it starts by how you live your private life, it gives moral authority. Mess up your private life and everything else will fall apart.

9. Faithful people are happier, more relaxed, more fulfilled, they smile more; their conscience is clear, living a life that is not stressful, empty or complicated.

10. Being faithful makes you proud of yourself. Yes, you may feel macho or in control when you cheat, you may numb your conscience. But when your unfaithfulness breaks the good that you have and hurts the person and the family you should have been faithful to, it will hurt you too. It will be difficult to live with yourself.

11. Being faithful makes your lover trust you, and with trust, he/she surrenders and gives all to you, you get to know your lover deeply as access is fully granted to you. Without trust, you will never fully receive all the blessings your lover brings.

12. Being faithful makes others respect you. When you stand your ground and tell off those trying to lure you from the one you are committed to, when you publicly show loyalty to your lover, the public will respect you, people will admire you.

13. Unfaithfulness brings diseases; not just sexual diseases but the rotting of your heart, it darkens and poisons the amazing person you actually are, condoms cannot protect you from the decay of your soul.

14. There is no benefit in being unfaithful, no fruit, reward or advantage; just pain, regret and destruction. Unfaithfulness feeds on your selfish side and blinds you.

15. The person you are being unfaithful with doesn’t have your best interest at heart but seeking to feed his/her selfish desire and needs. That person doesn’t care about the mess he/she is bringing to your life. Yes, you two may feel close, you may even say you love each other; but even terrorists and thieves have a sense of love and belonging amongst each other, you two are criminals committing a crime. That person has personal issues, that’s why he/she doesn’t respect your legitimate commitment. And you are foolish to allow yourself to be led astray, that person is short term wrecking your lifetime.

16. Eventually the thrill of unfaithfulness will go. When people venture into unfaithfulness, it feels so good, exciting and pleasurable. You plan secret meetings with the one you are cheating with, you enjoy; but soon you will realize it is wrong, the affair will collapse, you will outgrow your stupidity. Sadly, you come back to what is important, you come back to your legitimate relationship/marriage/family, back to the treasure you used to invest in only to realize it is too late, the damage is done. You destroyed something so great, you destroyed a once in a lifetime blessing, for something so meaningless.

Science has an answer as to why couples stay committed to their partners even when they meet more attractive people in their lifetime. In a recent set of experiments, psychologists Dr. Shana Cole, Dr. Yaacov Trope and Dr. Emily Balcetis from the New York University found evidence that couples downgrade the appearance of people they perceive as threatening their relationships.

Another recent study that what makes a person a good dating partner might not determine who is a suitable spouse. For couples in both a dating relationship and a marriage, an important contributor to a satisfying relationship is an understanding that a partner will help the other achieve his/her dreams. That’s huge for married couples, too, but in the married relationship, it is even more substantial that the partner upholds his/her part of the commitment pledged before taking vows. The couples who are more loyal to each other–making good on the promises they uttered at the altar–are also happier. The loyalty translates into happiness.

You can practice being loyal by limiting the time you spend alone with members of the opposite sex.  Naturally, if you are in fact loyal, those relationships with guy or girl “friends” need to change.  They don’t have to end necessarily, but your primary concern should become your significant other.  If they aren’t ok with that prior friendship, it’s got to go.

Some of you think that thought is absurd.  “He can’t demand I not have a particular friend” or “He’s just jealous.”  My opinion?  Yeah, he is jealous.  And if he is, it’s probably because you’re doing something that is not helping him feel secure in your love.  People react so quickly and assume the worst, particularly regarding this issue.  I wish people would take the time to

1) communicate, that would eliminate most of the problems and
2) be willing to lay aside their own selfishness for the betterment of the relationship.

I think if we could learn to do that, you’d find that you ultimately do yourself a favor by laying the friendship in question down.  You’re going huh?  I’m losing a friend and he/she is getting their way?  How is that doing me a favor?

I’ll explain with an example I came up with a while ago.  Suppose I have a girlfriend.  She’s eager, attractive and outgoing.  Naturally that’s a great combination and certainly I’m not the only guy vying for her attention but somehow I’ve managed to win her affection and am the lucky one called “boyfriend.”  Because she’s eager and outgoing, chances are she’s got lots of friends and more than likely several guy friends in there too.  Suppose she’s of the belief that I should trust her even enough to go have coffee or spend time hanging out with these other guys without becoming jealous or worrying because she’s assured me they’re “just friends.”  As in so many relationships today, it’s not a trust issue it’s a preference.  I just rather she didn’t spend time alone with guys.  I know how guys work so I mention it to her.

“Sweetheart, you are outgoing, attractive, you love people and I love that about you.  That’s part of why I was attracted to you to begin with.  But because of that, its difficult for me to see you maintain relationships with guys, even though you are just friends.  Part of it is because I know how guys work, but mostly, its just another way that I can feel secure in your love.  It would mean a lot to me if you would choose not to spend time alone with other guys, having coffee and speaking on the phone for great lengths of time.  It would help me know without a doubt that I’m your one and only.
”
To that she responds as most people would, “well you should just trust me Alex.  If I say we’re just friends, we’re just friends.”   “I do trust you.  It’s not that I don’t, but I would appreciate you not spending your time with other guys.  You might not understand why, you might not think it makes any sense, but it would mean the world to me if you would make that sacrifice.”

She has a choice.  She may, as is the case with many relationships, truly not understand why this is so difficult for me.  After all, she trusts me.  Why is this so difficult for Alex to understand?  But what she doesn’t realize is at this very moment she has power.  She has real power to do something that will in turn motivate me to love her better.  She can show me love and bless me so much by respecting my wish.  Her sacrifice is amplified all the more because she doesn’t understand why she should do it.

And why does she have power?  Because she can make a sacrifice that will bless me so much, removing any foothold or stumbling block that’s between us and out of gratefulness, I will lavish upon her so much more love because I’m so thankful that she made that sacrifice.  She has the power to help herself.  Maybe she already feels loved.  That’s fine, is anyone going to turn down an extra expression of love from their significant other?  Heck no!

It takes action on both parts.  My girlfriend needs to actually stop spending the time with other guys and I need to go out of my way to express how thankful I am that she has made and is acting on that sacrifice.  I don’t think that will be too tough though.  Our natural response when we feel loved, is to love.  When your cup is filled, you overflow!

Many women today spend so much time telling the world of their independence that many guys aren’t going to waste their time because they know its going to be a struggle.  I’m in that boat.  There is nothing more attractive to me than an able, capable woman who has done a great job of setting up a home for herself, is hospitable and able to provide.  And I’m still hesitant to express an interest because I’ve seen far too many times these very women, while they claim they want to be lead, cannot let go of that independence once they’ve tasted it.  It becomes a control issue.  “He’s trying to control me.”  No, he’s trying to love you the way you said you wanted to be loved and lead.

The same goes for our relationships.  We ask our boyfriend or girlfriend to stop spending time alone with the opposite sex and they think we’re trying to control them.  It’s not a control thing it’s a commitment thing.  It is being committed to the relationship over the friendship, even enough to say “Ok, I don’t totally understand why, but I’ll make this sacrifice because you are more important to me.”  Whoever figures that out and can bring themselves to act on it is practicing true love, true submission and has power.  Real power



SO HOW CAN YOU BE MORE LOYAL:


Let’s be honest, there is a fair count of people who can get away with cheating their spouses. But a fair few get caught and end up with a broken relationship. Even if they don’t the guilt would most likely weigh on your conscience and haunt you for the rest of your married life. It doesn’t matter what is the gender statistics of a woman cheating on her husband or a man cheating on his wife, it is an awful feeling for both parties involved


1)     Don’t crave the days when you were single. The beginning of a relationship begins with the acceptance and acknowledgment that you are no longer single. If you think it is too early, or too huge a commitment, maybe you shouldn’t be taking up the mantle at the first place. That means answering his calls..his text as soon as possible.

2)     When you get married make sure that she or he is the one for you. A strong base of love, trust, friendship and commitment automatically weeds out the possible temptations to cheat.

3)     Putting yourself up for flirting, provocative attire, by dirty talking or behaving in lust with someone, you project the image of yourself that you are single. At that point, if there are advances and you give in; there is no one to blame but you. Behaving inappropriately with someone who is not your spouse sets you up for such a situation.

4)     Don’t allow yourself into a situation where you are alone with an opposite sex, especially if you are mildly intrigued or find them attractive. It creates a situation where temptations can be fueled without much ado and snowball into an untoward situation. Equally, avoid alcohol, drugs or any such substances which could end up with you losing control and with heaps of regret later.

5)     Be stern against advances which are clearly out of turn. Learn to read between the lines and signals from opposite sex aimed at tempting you away from your partner. Situations like these happen all the time and there are several people who are willing to lure you away despite knowing your status. Firmly remind them of your marital status and stay put.

6)     It is better to keep your spouse informed about your whereabouts and your plans, especially if you are potentially hanging out with people of opposite sex, rather than have them doubt your intentions if they find out later, or wonder and worry.

7)     Know the consequence of such an act of infidelity. Is it really worth it putting your lasting relationship, marriage and a wonderful life with your partner at risk with a momentary infatuation? If your spouse finds out, how do you stand to lose financially or otherwise from it? There are also enough risks of unwanted pregnancy and STDs from such actions.

Ultimately, being faithful or not is entirely your call, there is no single way to control or ask anyone to keep themselves in line with their vows of trust and loyalty. At the same time, the easiest deterrent is to think of how YOU would feel if you found out or your spouse confessed to cheating on you. That should help you come to terms better with the impact of such an act.

VIDEO : The Before Trilogy | Portraying a Real Relationship

I love love this trilogy. I like the last one when Jesse said "This is love....it is imperfect"

DATING: ONCE A SLUT ( BAD GIRL).....ALWAYS A SLUT (BAD GIRL)

This is the problem with being a slut; once the numbers get rolling, they will keep on rolling. Now don’t get all politically correct on me and tell me that there is a big difference between a hooker and a slut. Sure, one gets paid to sleep around and one does it just for fun- but that just means that sluts are really dumb hookers. If you’re going to be passed around the table, you may as well get compensated for it.

In all seriousness though, I am sorry to say that once you actually do cross over to the dark side of slutdom, it’s near impossible to go back. The fact is, the more people that you want to have sex with, the more people you will continue to want to have sex with- laws of nature.

How do I know this to be true? From experience. I meet new women all the time, and if I set my mind to it, I usually end up sleeping with them. I don’t do this to “add them to my collection” or put another “notch in my belt.” I threw out the belt quite some time ago and, to be honest, have no idea how many holes I put in it...just being honest. And my intention with all these woman was to settle down but for one reason or another...it didn't work out that way.

I do this for two reasons. One: I like to have sex. Two: I do know exactly what I am looking for in a woman,  the fastest way for me to find out if a woman I just met may potentially be wife material is to fuck them. Why put up with weeks or even months of chasing or celibate dating to find out that the person’s favorite position is the dead fish? Bang’em after the first or second date and you’ll have your answer right there and then- simple.


One thing that I came to realize, however, is that it’s not easy to find someone that you actually click with. Great, right? Just keep on fucking randoms until you do- well, it turns out that sex is addicting.


Sleeping with new people is addicting. You may find the love of your life and be happy with them for years. But then, sooner or later, you will start to think about all those thighs you haven’t had the pleasure of exploring, all those bodies you never experienced, and all those sexual personalities you never got a chance to fuse with for a short blissful instance.


Polygamy is part of human nature. Most people are able to handle it, but they’ve been drinking from a limited number of cups. If you’ve only had wine from Napa, then you’ll be happy with Napa for the rest of your life; taste wine from all over the world, on the other hand, and you will continue to crave wine from different vineyards until the day you die.

Women spend far too much time trying to mold themselves into something they are not; something pure and smaller than themselves. They try to make themselves “girlfriend or wife” material. I knew a girl who told me that she had a low sex drive and can live without sex for long time. Guess what, within 3 weeks she had another dick inside of her. Who was she kidding? Me or herself? I know she is a slut, but she is in total denial. Sleeping with 4 guys in less than year...is a lot.  I know the reason why she does it:

1-she get bored easily: she enjoy variety. There are so many different and ridiculously attractive guys out there, each with something to offer.

2-She is non-committal

3-She is a fan of physical satisfaction. She love feeling his mouth on her nipples, kissing her  body, licking her everywhere. She want his hands on her hips, pulling her  hair, or holding her close.  Deep inside she  love watching a man’s face when he climaxes

4-She has this curiosity factor. If he’s a good kisser,  she wonder what he’s like in bed. If he looks good with his clothes on, she want to see what’s underneath. She fantasize about what he will do to her when we’re alone. She is like a young Samantha Jones in Sex In The City.

5-She judge the men she sleep with on appearance.  It’s a very shallow way to live

6-She wants alpha child

Can I slut change is the question now:

Once a slut always a slut because she can still savours the taste of her past escapades in her mouth . The woman I mention about  told me she changed because  got hurt enough and suffered enough.

I don't think so.

My thoughts:  The crushing forces of reality are no match for wishfully thinking snowflakes. Her pussy had taken  4 cocks in one year. If a snowflake decides she’s going to be a virgin again, so shall it be. The problems should be obvious. It’s not as if she can simply cast of the tremendous emotional baggage she has acquired of offering her pussy to men who, and rightly so, never in their wildest dreams would have considered her long-term material. Furthermore, she has an entire lifetime to account for that led to her being a slut. Waking up one day and vowing to be a slut no more just doesn’t cut it. People have a hard enough time changing even trivial habits, why should a woman who has poor impulse control to look back upon find it easy to not take cock anymore?

 Once a slut, always a slut. As they age, their sexual market value drops precipitously, so her choices will be between not getting laid (because quality guys have better prospects) or just keep doing what they always have been doing (being sluts).

But Don’t guys like us fuck a lot of women? Unfortunately, for them, there is a very big difference: for a woman to get laid, all it takes is giving in. The guy makes all the moves. As a guy, though, you need to make an active effort. If you don’t do anything, you won’t get laid.  As a consequence, it is a lot easier for a guy, once he decides to settle down, to keep his dick in his pants.

Is being a slut "bad"?  Not at all unless of course people are getting hurt emotionally or physically (or being threatened to get hurt).  "people" includes you as well.

We live in a world of many double standards between the two sexes, some of which make sense and can be defended. For example, it’s okay for an older man to date a younger woman, but not the other way around because a man’s value often rises with age while a woman’s does not. This is a double standard no doubt, but one that is backed up by biological reality.

Because of the stereotypes associated with being a slut. I'll list a few off the top of my head:

1. Sluts have no self respect
2. Sluts use sex to get what they want (money, alpha sperm)
3. Sluts use sex to avoid their own personal issues (usually 'daddy issues')
4. Sluts are hard to make friends with,
5. Sluts are not emotionally mature people

She’s a slut because she needs to feel wanted. Desired. Sexual. She needs to remind herself that she can. That there are other men out there. But she doesn’t want you to love her. To call. To treat her with any semblance of respect. She doesn’t respect herself because how can she?


She’ll fuck you, and you, and you – one after the other, filling up and filling up but never being filled for long enough. She’ll begin to pride herself on not being like the other girls. Of keeping you at a distance. Ignoring you once you’ve peeled off the condom and flung it in the trash or even fuck her without once she know you are clean.. She can’t love herself so she sure as hell couldn’t love your child. She’s a slut because none of you are the answer. She’ll be wet for you. Turned on as all hell. You might even make her come. But it won’t be from being inside her.


Nobody is saving her from herself.She doesn’t know, yet, that she needs to save herself.She’s a slut because it helps. It’s less about the act of fucking you, and more about what it does to her ego to get there. That she can control you. She’s in the driving seat of saying just the right amount of provocative. Master of making your pupils dilate in thrilled shock.


She’s not a bad person. She’s not a Madonna, nor is she a total whore. She has friends, and a job, and is liked and respected and popular enough. She commands attention because she’s so in control, so measured, so aware of the cracks she’ll let other people see. Most will be fooled by it. Most will marvel at her confidence and her “go for it” attitude. Concede that she must really have her shit together. But then there will be one or two who linger behind, say less, hold something back because they see it. They see that she’s playing make believe and doesn’t even recognize it herself. They don’t trust it, and they shouldn’t.




Sluts have cornered the market on low self-esteem. Being a slut is like Ford Motors in 1919—an assembly line cranking out the same product. The perpetual search for validation through giving up the pussy is how the whole vicious cycle of chronic low self-esteem continues. It’s like the little train that couldn’t get her shit together.

Studies have shown that sluts are suckers’ bets for LTRs or marriage.  You want to marry or have a loving long-term relationship with a girl without an elevated risk that she’ll divorce you or cheat on you? Then you had better get good real fast at screening the sluts from the relatively chaste girls so that you can lavish your resources and commitment on the latter. The Social Pathologist has crunched the numbers, and  the verdict is in: women with lots of past partners are more likely to divorce than women who didn’t take a self-empowering spin on the cock carousel.

Even “average” women with “only” five past lovers — women that few men would admit in public qualify as sluts — see an increase in odds of divorce to 70%. What man would want to screw his chances by marrying that? No wonder woman react so vehemently to accusations of sluttidue

Basically gentlemen, if you want to beat the sordid odds and enter a marriage with a less than 50% likelihood it will end in divorce, you need to date virgins or girls who have had only one partner before you. Good luck with that! Of course. The more cocks that have ravaged a woman, the less any one cock will mesmerize her. Sluts may have higher testosterone levels, leading them to cheat and, thus, to increase marital instability. Sluts may get bored faster with any one man. Sluts attract the sorts of men who themselves have no use for monogamous commitment. Sluts may just be fucked in the head.

Betas thinking that all they have to do is hone in on sluts for the easy kill are in for a rude surprise. Sluts want to be properly gamed by an alpha male just as much as good girls. The difference is that sluts will sleep with more alphas, and will jump into bed quicker with them, than will good girls. No girl wants to be labeled a slut (even if she co-opts the term for herself in a vain attempt to de-fang it), which is why women lie about their past number of partners. Women know, deep down, that being less slutty means  better treatment from men

Once a woman has experienced that Alpha dominance, only another Alpha experience can delimit the previous experience.  I told this to the woman I mention above.This is an example of the role conditionality plays in pair bonding. If a woman has had 10 prior lovers who’ve all amounted to beta experiences, an Alpha experience may be all it takes to make her loyal. On the other hand a woman with only one prior Alpha lover may be impossible to convince to be loyal to anyone she sees as a lesser experience. These are the Alpha Widows. In fact, I’d argue that most female initiated infidelity is a result of hypergamous impulse seeking to find its previous level. Women don’t trade down in experience, they are always perceptually trading up.

Men subconsciously judge women’s sluttiness for eminently practical reasons, just as women judge men on a host of alpha benchmarks for similarly practical reasons

 

So, fellow sluts, to conclude this article I will leave you with a truth that deep down you know to be true: we’re screwed; literally.

PERSONAL: I LOVE BEING HORRIBLY STRAIGHTFORWARD

I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming

PERSONAL: COVER ME WITH YOUR COMPASSION, CARE AND CONSIDERATION

Darling, let me pour you a wine,

Let me share a little intrigue with you

Let me give you something you might like

I know you’re not too sure of wine or whether you’ll even like it. Or maybe you already know you do.

But whichever it is, maybe you’ll like this. Maybe I can give you a little something that changes your day. And if you hate it, it’s still a story, and I’ll finish it for you.

Let me share something that I like.

This is me letting you in.

Let me let you see this edge of my world. Let me show and tell this thing to you that means something to me.

I want you to like it, sure, but moreover I want to offer up a little vulnerability and extend some generosity and take one tiny step in your direction. Let me care for you by giving and sharing.

If I pour you what I think you’ll like, I’m exposing my knowledge and judgment to your feedback. If I share what I like, I’m exposing my tastes and very being to you.

Let me hunter-gather info

Let me learn your palate. Let me figure out the way you like to drink. Let me guess and check.

If you already like wine, I’ll ask which ones. If you don’t, I’ll ask what you normally drink. Either way, I’m dying to know what foods — especially bread and condiments — you most like.

Let me learn what you are (and are not) into, and let me add it to my working knowledge — of whiskey and of you.

Let me have you in this way.

Let me have this sip of intimacy.

Let me in your mouth and throat. Let me watch your eyes and lips as you taste what I’ve done for you. Let me live vicariously for a moment, and recall the way that one was for me. Let’s compare notes. Let’s have this side by side.

Cover me in compassion, consideration, and care.

Give me slow-burn love, low-burn love. Let our lives run thick and smooth like syrup.

Wrap me gently in the ease that is your very being. Submerge me slowly in each moment we regard each other with quiet resolve. Drown out each echo of outside noise.

Pour your touch on me.

Sexually. Sensually. Emotionally. Intellectually.

And above all: Deliberately. Consciously. Conscientiously.

With intent and composure. With the direct, piercing aim of a sharp shooter, pour slowly. With the focus of each moment by moment choice, saturate me.

Pour decision onto me. Cover me with a steady hand.

And I’ll pour equal parts of this all back onto you.

DATING: LOOK BACK ON THE GREATEST CHEMISTRY YOU'VE EVER FELT. ARE YOU WITH THAT PERSON NOW?

You meet him, and there are instant fireworks. You fall into his eyes, and you feel safe in his arms. You cannot believe how easy he is to be with, and the chemistry is off the charts. The soul connection is like no other, and the sex is the best you’ve ever had. This man has to be the one. Finally, you’ve found him, and you thank your lucky stars he’s so amazing.

The relationship takes off like a rocket flying into space, leaving you breathless and floating on cloud nine. You hit it off in every way: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. You can’t believe this connection, and you both say it’s magical. You spend all your free time together and still can’t get enough of each other.

It’s meant to be, and you know he’s your soul mate. This is a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. This relationship is everything you ever wanted and then some. You never believed in love at first sight, but now everything has changed… you know it happens, and your relationship is proof!

The texts are flying fast and furious, and the affirmations of love build by the minute. You’re seeing each other constantly, and the sex keeps getting more amazing. You want to introduce each other to family and friends. You’re both talking about vacations, family holidays, living together, and even marriage. This feels like a fairytale come true.

Until… the bomb drops six weeks into the relationship.


All of a sudden, he’s GONE. Out of the blue, he disappeared. No loving texts. No calls. No word. NOTHING. He professed his love, and now he’s forgotten you. But you can’t forget him.

You’re dumbfounded, stunned, shocked. You feel like a dagger was thrust into your heart. You go from intense sadness and tears one minute to raging anger the next. How DARE he leave you, the one he was going to move mountains to love and cherish? The one he was going to live with, marry, and have children with?

How could he do this to you?

Then the anxiety, guilt, second guessing, and self-criticism start. You ask yourself all the questions: Why did this happen? Did I have sex too soon? Was I pushy? Were there signs? What did I do wrong? Was I duped? Did I fall for a player?

You feel like the biggest fool in the world, and you’re still hurting from losing him. You wonder if you’ll ever have those same feelings again.

And you still wonder what happened, so you can make damn sure it never happens again.

There’s a simple answer… you fell for the timeless deception of chemistry.

You fell for the oldest drug on the planet. This drug is so powerful that more lives have been ruined and more future relationships have been crushed from this simple little lie.

There is a belief that instant chemistry will lead to forever after. Lust isn’t love. Big promises aren’t love. Infatuation isn’t love. Chemistry isn’t love. From your experience  how often does amazing off-the-charts chemistry lead to a long-term relationship?

Rarely, and if it does last, it leads to volatile relationships with lots of passion and lots of hurt.

Do you really want that? Nope.


Here’s what happened: the guy rode the roller coaster of chemistry, and then when it started to wear off, he realized for whatever reason he wanted out. Nothing wrong with that, as most relationships don’t last. But instead of seeing you face-to-face and letting you know what he was feeling, his shame at taking you for a ride and not wanting a relationship caused him to flee.



So many woman think that Chemistry is something really important to have on the first date. They are chasing that feeling, they know that feeling, they had that feeling, they been connected to the feeling. So what is it about chemistry? Well it is just a feeling.....it is nothing more than a feeling. Yet we stake everything we have on the possibility of having this chemistry and we judge people instantaneously when we don't feel that thing. even thought we know that intellectually know that having that thing doesn't necessary mean you will have a happy life with that person. 


You don’t have to trust me. Just look back on the greatest chemistry you’ve ever felt and think about how those relationships ended. Who was this person who made your heart sing? Are you sitting next to him? NO. I don't know what further evidence you need to support the idea that chemistry is an illusion.All you have to do is look at your life. Look at the people you had great chemistry with and ask yourself where are they now? What do you do when you meet someone who light you up inside but doesn't give you what you need emotionally.

When you think about what is important in life, why not ask our grandparent or people who been through it and have been married for 40 years or more like I did. "Grandma, what is the secret between you and grandpa?" She is not going to say..."He was so HOT" or "My knee got weak around him".  Most likely she will say,"Friendship. Compatibility

....trust..values..laughter." That is the stuff we should be looking for. And that is the stuff that so many woman don't look for when they are dating. It's next...next...next....let's see who better around the corner.

I’ve long advocated for putting compatibility first, instead of making chemistry or looks the most important factor in your decision-making. Because, as you know, you can get the hottest, tallest, richest guy in the world and you’ll most likely discover that he’s a selfish narcissist who’s just not that into you. Thus, there is wisdom in compromising on looks and chemistry in order to find the happiness that has eluded you when you exalt “attraction” above all.

I did the same thing for a long time. It really wasn't until I realized that I was sabotaging every relationship that I in because because I thought I would be the one guy on earth who will land that mystical woman. You know that one I am talking about. The supermodel, top chef, road scholar. She is going to be mine. A lot of guys are looking for her as well but the problem is SHE DOESN"T EXIST and if she does exist...she doesn't want ME

What happens ...you get the 10 chemistry ,..but you are left with 4 compabliablity. It not a good formula to build a life partnership with. We make decision on short term input, not long term input. We are like day traders...looking for the next greatest things, instead of asking what is the stock I am going to hold for the next 40 years. The chemical rush you get in a relationship is over in 12-18 months according to experts. What beyond 12-18 months are you left with? If it not going to the rush...because it will go away? If you are driven so much by the rush, the chemistry, you might end up with someone who is emotionally not available, someone who is abusive,  someone who is inconsistent to you. Someone who doesn't treat you the way you wanted to be treated. Look at your life Ii am not talking about anything that you don't  already  know.


So many woman think that they are such great catches because they are beautiful or have a great job and that it will all work out. They feel like they don't have to do anything different. Love doesn't find you because you are great. You actually have to look for it. The problem is when you really really great, nobody is good enough for you. NOT ONLY THAT ....NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH TO DATE YOU. You can scroll on any dating site to see how many guy you would be able to date based on your criteria.

What are some of the things that guys must in order to date you? For example. " I am looking for a guy who is financially success to support my lifestyle" I need a guy who make X amount of money. What percent of guys do you think make enough that you will be happy with? Let's say 30%. What percentage of guy are educated. Let's say 40%. What percentage are attractive enough? 2-5 % You might add. " I won't date anyone who is not over 5'10". Just realize that each layer you are putting on there, you are eliminated X amount of the population. If you multiple this number together.....you are left with .001 percent of the men are datable. Do you see a problem with that? Do you understand now why is it so hard to find love? Because we determine that NO ONE is good enough for you by your own standard. We all think we are the expectation to the rule and we are not

PERSONAL: I WILL NEVER BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T ME LOVE EVER AGAIN

Unrequited love is: Not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer’s deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it. Not reciprocated or returned in kind.

If “real love” is an act — a choice — then can’t we choose to love whomever we want? If love is fundamentally selfless in this way, then isn’t the decision to love, regardless of getting love back, still love?

Not exactly. And if their number one “need” regarding you is to “not receive or return your love,” then each time you extend it anyway, you are violating — not satisfying — their wishes. And that’s not love. That’s self-love.

There are two bad sides to unrequited love, but only one is made familiar by our culture — that of the lover, not the rejector. In fact, research suggests that the object of unrequited affection experiences a variety of negative emotions on a par with those of the suitor, including anxiety, frustration and guilt.(Guilt, lol.)

We love stories of unrequited love — because most of us have experienced it, or wish we had someone pining over us — and love being made to feel validated; better; okay. Unrequited love has long been depicted as noble, an unselfish and stoic willingness to accept suffering. The trouble is that it’s not healthy.

DATING: ALL THESE WOMAN WHO TRAVEL CONSTANTLY HAVE ISSUES

When I sat down and thought about what I wanted and still saw “30 countries by 30” on the list, I realized that I didn’t really get that much out of traveling. It conflicted with a lot of other more important goals on my list — saving, building a business, etc. — and didn’t, even in its own right, provide much value. It shouldn’t be a top goal. Because travel is, in and of itself, a bit meaningless.

Travel is not an accomplishment. It’s embarrassing when so many woman about travel like there’s some kind of “I got on a plane” accolade. Participation awards for “I went there too.” “I been LOTS of places.” It’s not even that hard. The highest barrier is probably cost, and the most effort that really involves is like, saving. There’s no application process. There’s no “failure” rate. It doesn’t even really take any meaningful work. Compared to so many other things in life, “travel” is a damn cakewalk. You decide you want to go somewhere. You pick a place. Maybe do a lil research; consult a guidebook (optional.) Then ya book it. And then you go.

But then we should move on to real things. Probably this very low barrier to entry and very low bar for effort is precisely why so many people glorify it — it’s just enough of a break in routine to feel like something, but not enough to be too strenuous. Enough to feel like we did something, without ever actually doing something. But that doesn’t actually make it an accomplishment.

Travel is little more than a running tally— Countries are not ours to “collect”. Having that literal stamp collection — all tidily organized in a neato little book to tote around — makes us feel good. And safe. All warm and tingly inside.

But because travel isn’t an accomplishment, those messy stamps and mental checklists are nothing better than boxed memorabilia. It may make us feel nice and cozy, but it’s totally meaningless in the grand scheme of things. When we tally up travel, we’re pretty much as “cool” as Steve Carell’s character in 40 Year Old Virgin. Or that weird great aunt with her Precious Moments figurines. Travel does not automatically expand you as a human being

Unless what you needed help “expanding” with was getting the fuck out of your own car, or neighborhood, or routine. Travel is just expensive escapism. Almost as expensive as functional alcoholism. People who love their lives don’t leave. If you were deeply engaged in your life, had meaning and excitement and value in your everyday, Would you want to leave all that behind for two weeks? What would be the point?If you are excited about your life, you do your life. If you are not excited about your life, you travel to get away from it.

The things you are aiming to accomplish while you travel are generally things you could accomplish on a deeper level if you stayed home and made changes to your life instead of running away. Travel is just consumerism Other countries and cultures are not ours to consume. The world is not our personal petting zoo. Often people travel because they just need a way to spend their money.They work these jobs they don’t like to afford themselves things they might want, but they don’t necessarily spend a lot of time thinking about what that might be. They travel because they hear other people travel and they don’t have any other, better ideas, so they do too.