PERSONAL IN FEAR OF MY OWN STUPIDITY, I DO STILL LOVE HER

My heart hurts and the tears fight like hell to reach the surface. There’s an ache that’s always lurking deep in my soul, stretching across my body, making its presence known.

It comes in waves, the feeling of a broken heart.
Sometimes I’m okay and other times… i can’t fight it.

But here’s the thing,
I know I’ll be okay.

I know one day I’ll wake up and my broken heart won’t be the first thing that comes to mind. One day I’ll have new people in my life that will make all the pain a distant

One day you’ll be a distant memory


A few weeks ago I thought I had found the love of my life. A light I had been searching for in the darkness that was the foundation to my every memory. A warm smile I cherished deeply, and a voice like ambrosia. weeks after, I thought I lost the love of my life. The light dimmed until it was put out. The smile was lost, and the nectar turned to poisonous deceit.And while part of me wishes those bright, warm days had not left in a fleeting instant, the rest of me is aware that I lost more than I gained. The damage she did, the loes she told, managed to break me more than I was, to begin with. I still  text jher every now and then, although we don't see each other But if we did, I’d confess to her and to myself, in fear of my own stupidity, that I do still love her, and that I wish her the best. That I’ll eventually forgive her,

You were over before we began, lost in the depths of your eyes I spun, spun out of control. I cant stop this feeling, why did you walk away? Give me the whole world to take it away. But I promise my love, it can be enough. Im not forcing you to stay.

I won’t give up loving you, I know you forgotten how it feels. I won’t give up loving you, I know, you know how I feel.

You are drifting, drifting away, you know I want you to stay, but you never thought that I could be there when you needed someone the most. I promise my love it can be enough, I’m begging you to stay.

I won’t give up loving you, I know you forgotten how it feels. I won’t give up loving you, I know, you know how I feel.

But I promise my love it can be enough, 
I promise you the world, Just take it and run.

I won’t give up loving you, I know you forgotten how it feels. I won’t give up loving you, I know, you know how I feel



Kiss my thoughts with your thoughts, Let our philosophies collide and make love under the stars we ponder about,
Make me feel like your most breathtaking epiphany,
Love me and protect me like you protect your deepest darkest secrets,

I want all of you,
Every inch of your mind, heart and body.
Your smile is gravity defying, Which makes me feel like I can float in space for eternity.
I won’t settle till I do, For, love you make me feel absolutely electric,
You charge my mind with energies and vibes, Things that I can’t see make me feel so alive.

You’re the brightest constellation in my galaxy,
I can’t believe you exist In my time and space.

But you do.And I am forever grateful to the stars,
Because you’re my one nice thing, So I must have done something right.

PERSONAL: DEAR GOD HELP ME HEAL

Dear God,

Please help me heal
From grief, loss and the pain of love in my past
And let me be whole and happy again
I have been needy and overly-anxious,
I have felt desperate .
Calm the need in me .
Sooth the soreness in my soul .
Restore my faith in love
Bring true love to me, in the right time, for the right reasons.
Let the healing process must begin inside my heart.
My heart aches for all the pain that I've been through lately
please remind me every day--YOUR plans are always better than my dreams

PERSONAL: PLEASE GOD HELP ME MEND MY BROKEN HEART AND LET ME LIVE AGAIN

Please God,


Dear God, I am hurting terribly right now.  It’s so hard for me to remember ever being happy, and when I do, it hurts even more because of what I’ve lost.  I am desperate to go back to the way things used to be.  If there is still hope for this relationship, please give me guidance as to what to do to reach out to my ex.  If all attempts to reconnect with my ex fails, give me the strength I need to accept the finality of the breakup and the reality of my broken heart.
My friends and family  mean well, but they don’t seem to know how to help me.  They tell me that things aren’t that bad, that I should get up, go out, get even and enjoy myself.  They tell me to look at all of the good things I still have in my life.  They say that I’ll find someone else to love some day.  But someday won’t help me today because my heart and spirit are crushed from loss and loneliness.

Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.  I come to You bereft in spirit with a heart that is breaking. My mind is in turmoil and I just do not understand all the turmoil that seems to be hitting me from all sides. You know God exactly the pain that is in my heart and the sadness and grief that I am going through and I come to You, my God, seeking Your blessed peace in my heart.  Heal my hurting heart and bind up the lacerations that have penetrated so deeply into my soul – for You alone are my hope. Bind up my fragmented heart I pray as You. I give You my fragmented heart and pray for Your blessed peace – Your perfect peace – Your gracious peace that passes all human comprehension.
Please give me the strength to get through each day as my heart slowly heals.  Carry me in your arms of love.  Give me a personal sign of your presence.  Restore my ability to smile.  Give me back my energy.  Clear the fog from my mind.  Bring vitality back to my body.  Help me to regain interest in life.  Show me how to reach out for help when I need it. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do, and I can’t possibly do it without your help.  Help me to grow and gain wisdom from this experience.  But most of all, help me not to give up on myself, on You or on love.  I believe that You have created me to love and to be loved.  Give me your courage to open my heart to the possibility of loving again, loving faithfully and joyfully and fully

How could she have done this to me? How could she forget her promises? How could she throwme away How could she break my heart? Was it my fault? Tell me where I have gone wrong. Show me my sins, flash them before me so I may know. For I do not understand how all these things can be happening right now. I do not understand how something so good can suddenly end up the way it is today. How can she suddenly say she want to try anymore? It seemed not so long ago when we see each other on the weekends.. Now I don’t know anymore. I know nothing anymore. I am so broken deep within me. I do not know if I can still piece together every shattered part of me.

My mom and my sister say that it will heal in time. They say I should busy myself with this and that, But I don’t know . Are these the things that can make me believe in love once again? Are these the things that can relieve this pain I feel in my heart?  Do I not deserve true love? Do I not deserve loyalty, sincerity and respect?  I built my whole world around her, and she took it all away. I built my self esteem upon her admiration, and she trampled upon it as though it were trash. How can I ever build my world again? How can I ever be happy once more?

 

Please help me God, I really don’t know what to do. Only your embrace can soothe my pain. I have given everything I could , and there is nothing more I can give. I kneel before you now, crushed and broken, empty and afraid to be alone. Hide me under your wings, hold me in your loving arms. Say unto me again how much you love me. Say unto me that you have called me yours and you will never ever let me go. Help me to let go of my pain, teach me to forgive those who do not even ask my forgiveness. This burden is something I shouldn’t carry in my heart. This trouble is not something I should trade away my peace for. I know that I have been done wrong, the things that have happened had been so unfair. Sometimes life’s like that. Many things in this life really seem so unfair. But let me not continue being unfair to myself. Let me not punish myself anymore for the things others have done.

I offer unto you my wounded heart, my broken heart. Let me not lose hope. Let me not cast away everything that’s good and beautiful in this life. I know that there is so much more in store for me. I know how much love I can still give away because it is you who fills me with everything that I’ll ever need. You are the one who loves me truly, eternally, unconditionally. You are the one who has always been there for me and always will be there for me. You are my one true love. You are my forever. You are my strength and my peace and my joy. Surely in your presence God, I do not need anything more.

PERSONAL: TODAY I FEEL WORSE....SO HEARTBROKEN

I feel hurt. I feel so much pain and agony. I can’t begin to really understand where I should start to pick myself back up. Right now, I just feel so much self-pity. Maybe it was something I did or said to cause this breakup in the first place, but I regret ever falling for this beautiful, amazing person in the first place.  Maybe it was my fault for letting down my guard completely for this woman. Maybe I should be mad at myself for not being taller or more of the thug type that used to appeal to her.  I really thought I was going to marry her. I really did.

Right now, I’m feeling pain. Every word I’ve ever told her I meant, and now they’re all just stabbing me and eating me up alive. This is what self-pity feels like. I don’t know what to do, or who to talk to about this, but I know this is what it feels like to be heart-broken. This is what it’s like for a nice guy like me to lose someone I cared about. I don’t know when I’ll get past this, I don’t know how either. I can only hope that this is a feeling people don’t get to experience, even though unfortunately they do. I want to just swear at her so much, just to get her to even understand the slightest amount about how I’m feeling right now, but I can’t even do that. I can’t swear to someone that I valued so much. I feel like just grabbing her and shaking her to make her realize she shouldn’t be with a bad boy and should be with someone like me (well, not someone else- just me).I’m sad. I’m hurting. This is what heartbreak is for a guy.

How could I have been so wrong about something I believed in with every inch of my soul? How could I continue living after I had found the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with—and lost her? I used to think of myself as a confident, outgoing person, but one single loss and I had not a shred of self-esteem left. And the thought of being around people and acting happy made me crawl back into bed and cry. It like a sinking feeling inside that tears you up and leaves you withered and lonely, like a discarded newspaper kicked to the curb. I WANT TO DIE

PERSONAL: I AM HEART BROKEN...I WANT TO DIE TODAY

When I first met her I thought she was just another girl. Little did I know of the impact she would have in my world. But as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. I found it was for her that my heart would hunt. In the mornings when I first would wake my heart for her would begin to ache. This scared me greatly for I had been hurt before. With every single minute of every single day. I learned more and more of her sweet loving ways. I would often tell myself that with her I wanted to be and always stay. I loved her in each and every way, more and more with each passing day. But as time changed so did her feelings of love. And there went my dreams of her and I being one. I convinced myself that she was the person I was destined to marry, she left me. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I was inconsolable, believing that my entire world had come crashing down around me. My love for her is my addiction.I have found no remedy nothing pure enough.  As the clouds pass by...all the times you made me cry and wonder what I did

I try not to think about you all the time, because I know you're not mine.  I knew I loved you at first glance.  Will I ever have a chance?  In my dreams our love is being rushed, but when I wake, I'm really crushed.  What am I to do?  I cannot live like this.  If only I got one kiss.  My love for you is
so true.  

why can't we be strong?
why can't we last long?
why can't this pain go away?
why can't you not go, and here stay?
why can't you miss me?
why can't i be what you want me to be?
why can't our love last forever?
why can't we say never?
why can't you figure out i loved you?
why can't tears stop running down my cheek?
why can't i ever talk or speak?


Last night  I cried at night wondering why things were this way that all I had left was a memory from you. I did everything I could to forget you but it was impossible the more I tried the more your memory came to my mind all I did . I was love you with all my heart but a broken heart was all I had left . I thought loving you was a good thing that had happened to me .I decided to change for I never wanted the same pain I felt before. How lonely and lost I felt without you but you don't understand that  I gave you my heart without any exceptions too many memories too much  pain so much time you played.

Memories, Memories clouding my head, I don't want to remember but, don't want to forget.What I've done, What I've said, Will it matter in the end? I need something to get me through the day,
Something to keep me till tomorrow, Something to stop my head, Something to soothe this sorrow. Wipe away my tears, Act like it's okay. But, somehow, I won't forget, All of my pain,
All of this depression I have felt, and all of my lingering guilt,a nd how you left me to die.Use me, Abuse me. Look at me with  distant eyes, Touch me with fingers,  So cold, And lie- to make me...
Believe you.I sit here filling cups with tears


My chest is in so much pain, enough pain to make me sick. My chest hurts  because of the broken heart underneath. It is now left shattered.I gave you my heart,  but you just tore it apart.
How do you get over it so fast? To you, it's just part of the past.My eyes try to hide all the pain inside.  My smile is only a lie.I have no seams, but I'm ripping apart. for all my lost dreams, and my crushed heart. Please don't let me bleed. Help my suffering to end.You will never know
...the depths of my emptiness...the shallowness of my heart...the sharpness of my pain. You have no idea what you mean to me Obviously...you have no idea how much
I
Love
You

PERSONA;: STRIPPING DOWN AND BEING HONEST ABOUT LOVE PART 1

Once of my favorite section in Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is about love.

“My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can i do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"love her," I replied.
"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. the feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend , love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

I am both saddened and exhausted with the number of people who say they’re looking for good love, but approach it like they’re car shopping — 5 year warranty, leather seats, all the bells and whistles. Oh, but I want it to love me “back.” Forever.

And it makes me sad for them. Because they truly keep waking up each day not fully understanding why nobody sticks around, and I want to shake them, tearful and screaming, 
Love is not a checkbox. People are not a thing. Neither are a requirement or an accomplishment, and while they may have standing as status symbols and social objects, the reality is that holding them in this light ruins the underlying potential for real love. The two mindsets cannot coexist.

Love is work. Love is commitment. In the same sense your job isn’t about putting on a paper suit and carrying an empty briefcase around just to tell people your title, and good love isn’t hollow either. (And in the same way that many people do make their work into little more than empty time sucks, they absolutely do this with love as well. But there is no meaning at the end of it, in either one.)

Love isn’t a static, one and done achievement to attain. The goal isn’t to “settle down,” but reinvest day after day.

If you want meaning, you have to make meaning. And if you want richness and real love, you have to invest accordingly. That doesn’t mean planning date nights and putting on cute outfits and remembering anniversaries. It means actually and deeply caring about the other person and their unique, human person life experience — every day.

It’s natural to treat love like a static thing to obtain. It can be tempting to pretend as if there’s one little thing that, if you could just get it under control, would fix everything and all would be okay.

This is why love feels so hard to “get,” and why real love is even harder. Good partners aren’t picked up like a haphazard game of human musical chairs. Not the good ones anyway, not the ones with real love.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll have good love. It’s a privilege, not a right, and it isn’t promised to anyone, you or me alike.

But I can guarantee that you will never have love — real love, dat good AF authentic love— if you think of it like a checkbox or status symbol in your life.

We get what we put out in the world, and that includes approaching other people with the same whole-hearted, honest to goodness grace and respect and investment that we most yearn for back.

It’s not that I’m telling you that you have to wait around for someone who sees you as their Dream Person. In fact, I’m saying the opposite. I’m saying that we should have good values — and we should find partners that have good values. And part of those good values should be not holding out for some idealized image of perfection — or settling for someone who’s eying us the same way.

I’m saying you deserve someone who’s got their head on straight and their values in the right place and wakes up each morning, looks at you — in your utterly imperfect human-being-ness — and still thinks to themselves, “aww yeah.”

Maybe you care for each other. Or maybe you just want to care for each other. Maybe you want him, but you’d want him even more if only.

Don’t live your life that way. Don’t treat other human beings that way. And don’t let other human beings regard you that way. Don’t settle for a partner who looks at you across the table and internally sighs, “not perfect, but they’ll do.” Look for someone who smiles, “doesn’t matter — I want them.”  And, equally important, be that person back.

It doesn’t matter if everything is there if they always hold “perfection” over your head. It doesn’t matter if you’re their favorite person to talk to, or they’re secure with you, or they spend all their free time with you, and “every moment together feels as natural as anything you’ve ever known.” If they’re holding out for something “slightly better,” run. That’s not to say that “better” isn’t out there — it’s to say that we shouldn’t settle for people who enter into relationships like they’re something to maximize.

Because there will always be someone more attractive, younger, smarter, more novel (obvs), more fun, whatever. If they want to chase phantoms, fucking let them. Don’t settle for that shit. Imagine how heartbroken you’d feel if you met someone absolutely incredible — only to meet their partner and realize they regarded them as “just okay.” That’s how someone out there will feel meeting you and your partner if you settle for someone who does this.

You deserve better. We all do. If they are holding out for something, leave. If they aren’t sure, leave. If they have reasons — timing, not being ready, busy, doesn’t want to ruin it, etc. — then bounce. If they cared, they wouldn’t want to risk it. So leave if they do. You deserve more than someone who isn’t sure.

It is one thing to give someone time and space to work out a decision — we all need that from time to time. Making decisions that affect our lives require thought and even reflection to be certain we are ready, or at least ready to give it a shot. Yet if time after time, she finds yet another reason to place you on the backburner, then you shouldn’t keep holding on to someone who views you more as a choice she can’t make rather than someone she can’t imagine not being with... It’s okay if you want to wait, but you should also know that you shouldn’t be expected to wait forever while someone reels you in and pushes you away in the name of self-preservation.

You deserve someone who chooses you, and continues to choose you. You are a person, not a throw pillow. You add value as a complex and imperfect human being. Wait for someone who sees you as special, not a chore or checkbox. Let someone else step up and do exactly what you’ve been hoping for —choose you, right now. With whatever they have to offer.


Love with intention. You were made for other people who feel deeply; hearts that love with every single beat. You were made for hearts that forget easily, move on gently. You were made for hearts that appreciate and respect what it’s like to be broken, what it’s like to be lonely or what it’s like to miss someone.

You were made for hearts that feel, that know how to have emotions, how to love. You were made for hearts that open and invite you to open in response.

You were made for hearts that are ready to accept your love in its entirety. You were made for hearts that know how to appreciate what your heart has to offer. You were made for hearts that think your love is right.

You were made for consistent love. You were made for hearts that expand into everything. You were made for hearts that do make you feel whole.

“You were made for brave hearts, for fierce hearts, for hearts that go all in, for hearts that plunge into your arms. You were made for hearts that soften your edges, hearts that inspire you to feel everything and more. You were made for hearts that make you want to fall over and over again without worrying about hitting the ground or getting hurt.

You were made for hearts that keep on loving even after too many heartbreaks. You were made for hearts that still know how to love like they’ve never been hurt. You were made for big hearts and hearts that don’t want to settle for anything less than big love.”

You were not made for vulnerable hearts, you were made for hearts that give, you were made for hearts that love. You were made for stable heart, sturdy hearts, secure hearts. You were made for hearts that know how to keep precious hearts like yours safe and protected.

You were made for hearts that can’t help but fall in love with hearts like yours.


So many woman called me boring. I think  "boring” is better than “impassioned,” and while most great relationships have a blend of both, forced to choose, we should readily take the former. Consistently warm is far more hospitable than hot and cold for long-term emotional wellbeing.

Boring is beautiful. By “boring,” I mean stability, consistency, reliability. We can hang our hat on these things; we can only build on a solid, unwavering foundation. Greatness is built with consistency. As true for relationships as it is for anything.

Weight loss happens with countless little daily decisions, not binging and purging. Building a company happens in the millions of micro-moments, not landing — and losing — That One Big Client. It’s a lot easier to engineer a solution around consistent variables — regardless of what they are.

When a partner (or the relationship) is up, down, hot, cold, ecstatic, pissed, etc., we spend far too much time managing their feelings and not enough time actually building the relationship. I can’t do anything with an erratic partner.

Greatness is built with agency and taking responsibility.Our partners are not here to keep us “entertained.” If we approach love with healthy hearts, we don’t complain of “boredom” with our partners, because we understand that they are not here to amuse, distract, or otherwise entertain us. Their lives are not fuel for our amusement, they are not here simply to delight and distract. We are responsible for our own emotional wellbeing.

Greatness is built with emotional health. Emotionally healthy people do not chase “romance” and put on exaggerated displays. Emotionally healthy people can lap at the edge of excess; they are satiated on healthy displays of love alone. They understand that real, healthy love is in the every day little shit — remembering the dry cleaning; a hug; a word of encouragement before the big meeting— and they don’t require, nor do they have any real appetite for, the showy shit that’s “shareable” on social media.

Greatness is built in the everyday, not the few exciting moments. Great relationships, like anything, are built in the everyday. They don’t simply endure the everyday to just get to the next vacation or fun outing, just like great work doesn’t simply endure the work week to get to the weekend. Relationships are built in the “white space” of life; they are the everyday. So what we do with that time makes or breaks us.

Every moment we spend with our loved one is precious and invaluable. That’s where the relationship lives or dies. And a lot of those everyday moments are, for the most part, boring. That 80 year old couple holding hands in the park is sharing “boring.” They got there one day at a time. Impassioned is dangerous

By “impassioned” I mean excitement, excess, extremes. Romantic hedonism — new restaurants, gifts, travel, grandiose displays or constant reassurance or lofty, poetic declarations of love. If you want great love, these should make you want to run.

When we chase romance and excitement, we do to “love” what porn does to sex. I can appreciate a sentimental surprise as much as the next guy, but nothing turns me off more than empty romantic gestures for the sake of the gesture. Given the choice, I’d rather take a woman who never does anything “romantic”but is stable and emotionally-secure every day.

“Passion” is dangerous to hang our hearts on because it fades away. It must either be doggedly pursued and constantly refueled, or it runs the risk of exposing the realization that there’s nothing underneath. Love built on frenzied pursuits leaves us fatigued and washed up, looking at each other at the end of our ropes, frustrated that we “can’t come up with anything else to do.”

In good love, there’s nothing “to do” except love one another. Every day. And it doesn’t depend on how we feel, because good, healthy love doesn’t hinge on our feelings; it’s a choice. Every day.

Good love looks and feels “boring”.Real, healthy love is quiet, not loud. It is calm, not frenzied. It is solid and stable, not flighty or fickle. Good love is everyday — every day.


I’ll never complain of boredom with you. Because I want it to be “boring,” and entertainment ain’t your job. I hear people break up over shit like “boredom.” I hear they approach other human beings expecting “entertainment” of them, and I hear they break hearts over bullshit and disillusion. You’re not here to entertain me any more than I’m here to entertain you. We are not put here to “amuse” each other.

You’re a person and I’m a person and we both live our own lives. If I’m bored in life that’s on me, not you, and I would never make it your problem to fix something that’s my problem first to solve.

If I’m correct in understanding this pervasive idea of “boredom” is just “sameness” or “routine,” then to that I have to laugh a little in response. Because, like, lol child — consistency is what I want. If you want to chalk it up as “boring,” I mean… you do you. But I will happily take a little boredom if I what I get back is the same exact person day to day.

Now, if you want to mix it up by bringing home the occasional surprise? Adorable. You want to do something different this weekend? Awesome. Want to try something new in bed — totally cool.

You think it looks boring to like doing the same things, eating the same foods, drinking the same drinks, going to the same places? I don’t give a fuck. What I care about is how you think and act. You think it’s lame not to have cool hobbies; then pick one up, but I don’t care. I think “cool hobbies” pale in comparison to “cool thought” and “cool demeanor.”

You intrigue me deeply on better levels, and I’d happily take what looks like “same” but is secure and smart and solid over spastic and shallow any day. And if you think I’m playing, lol, aiight… then bore me a little. Try me. I’m only going to like you more.


I usually tell any woman I’m dating, early on, “relationships aren’t about magic. I could make it work with most anyone. I just don’t want to.”

Most of what we think of as “love” is bullshit. Most people treat love as something happens to them, or something they “are in.” But love — good, healthy, mature love — is not being or feeling. It’s not motivation or inspiration or being swept away or overwhelmed.


Love is an act. It’s a decision. It’s deliberate. It’s external effort and energy every day. It’s choosing and committing. It’s doing. It’s based on you, not them.So you *can* love anyone

By my definition of love, it seems like in theory it should be possible to love anyone. In theory, sure.Just like anything else you choose and do.You could eat most anything for lunch. You can walk or drive or fly most anywhere. You can spend the money you have however you want. You can do any number of things with your time. You could say anything. And yeah, you could, in theory, love anyone.

But that doesn’t mean you *should* love anyone, Does this mean you should love everyone? No. You can care for everyone’s wellbeing in a passive way, but you can’t actively invest in everyone.

Just like you don’t eat everything — at once, or even in general. You don’t say everything that pops into your head. You don’t do everything, go everywhere, think about everything. You don’t waste your money on hobbies you don’t have. You choose.

You make deliberate decisions on what to do, based on what you want. And you choose who to love just as consciously.

How you choose? Lol, I can tell you one thing for sure: it’s not how most people choose.
If you want good love, you don’t choose based on physical attractiveness. You don’t choose based on how they “make you feel.” You don’t choose based on a stupid set of interests and characteristics (“must love dogs,” “favorite food: lasagna.”)

I only want 4 things in a partner. In order:

Kindness, keeping your word, Emotional health and well being — emotional security and stability and finally someone who take care of their health.

If love is an act, then love is an investment of time and attention (our most valuable things in life.) And if love is an investment, then you love based on return.

Emotional health is the indicator of the ROI of love. If you dump love into an unstable person, you’re pouring it down the drain. But secure people are “easy” to love, give high rewards for reasonable effort, and love back readily.

If you want to be healthy, you choose healthy meals — and then eat them. If you want a good career, you choose a good job — and then actually do good work.And if you want a healthy relationship, you choose an emotionally-healthy partner, and afterwards focus on the work of loving them.

Because emotionally-healthy partners will put in effort and love right back. So pick someone who is a.) self-loving, b.) deserving of your love and c.) will return it and meet your needs.

Should you still love people that hurt/disrespect you?No, not actively. Passively and from afar, maybe — you can wish the best for them and respect their decisions — but not in a way that’s intimate, vulnerable, or invested.

Is love fundamentally selfish? “It seems like… you’re loving people selflessly and not for the sake of what you can get out of it.”Yes and no. Wanting a partner is probably always selfish in the same sense that every reason for wanting a child is selfish. Because your needs — or, at best, your desire to meet their theoretical ones — are all you have going in.

What matters more is what happens afterwards.

Viewing your partner, day to day, as someone to meet your needs is definitely selfish.But wanting to serve their needs, day to day, is love. So being in a good relationship — much like being a good parent — is selfless.

You choose a good person. And then you make the investment of love each and every day. And they do too.You get your needs met, by meeting theirs.

 Love can’t exist without self-respect. Love is not “allowing mistreatment.” Love is not “

Loving ourselves means pursuing people that want us, rather than gutting ourselves over people who don’t.

Your time and attention are the most valuable things you have. Invest them in worthwhile people and things.

PERSONAL .MY DREAM OF BEING A DAD.....WILL IT EVER HAPPEN?

My urge to breed is getting stronger and stronger. I love looking at pregnant women, especially before/after photos, but now the thought of finding my own woman to knock up, of me being the one who fills her pussy with cum and her belly with baby, makes me harder than anything else.

I want a woman who wants to be made pregnant as much as I want her to be. I want to look me in the eye and see her consent, and then I want to grab her and control her with my powerfully masculine embrace. Then I will enter her as strongly as I can, my rock-solid penis pummeling her in a desperate frenzy as I imagine my chosen woman growing heavy with my baby. My pussy-addled consciousness imagines how much different, how much better-looking you will be just a few short months after I’ve seeded you.

I can’t wait until you’re showing so I can parade you in public, my perfect pregnant mate, and letting everyone seeing what I’ve made you into, how much I’ve altered and continue to control your beautiful form. Whenever we’re out and about my hands will constantly be on your gravid belly, caressing your perfect body in a mixture of pride and astonishment at how different and how much more beautiful you are from when I first met you. And the second we’re not in public my hands will be tearing off your respectable clothes to fondle your enormous breasts and wide hips.

Fuck, it’s about to happen. I’m about to lose control and ejaculate my seed into her. The fantasy is about to become a reality. Everything is going to change. Whether consciously or not she too realizes this and I can feel her pussy clamp down ever tighter around me,  the thought of the man she adores remaking her and taking ownership of her to an extent she never imagined possible making her as desperate to keep the impregnating essence inside of her as I am to give it. At last I begin to orgasm, and as I feel my cum begin to spurt I bury my cock as deep into her into as I can, my entire body and mind willing her to be made pregnant. 

It seems like an eternity before I begin to soften. She now has a baby, my baby, growing inside of her, I know it. And judging by her reaction, the mixture of fatigue and satisfaction but also the beginning of a maternal sense of completion, she knows she is too.

This is the only I want or have ever wanted.

The most romantic thing in the world is a girl taking an uncovered, erect dick into her body, trying to make it soft again.

Massaging it, milking it, sheathing it with warmth and tightness, moving along the length of it with her wet tissues, until it squirts, and being feminine enough to take the contents of his testicles all in her womb, milking and stimulating him through his orgasm.

Then putting her panties back on and going about her day without washing his sperm out, showing to the man that his semen isn’t just welcomed in her body, but welcomed to stay and swim up her Fallopian tubes and drown her egg with his DNA.

PART 2

There she was at the very edge of an orgasm, when suddenly he slid his throbbing member out from the deep reaches of her pussy.

“No…”, she whispered. He was supposed to finish inside me. I need his baby-making swimmers in me while I’m fertile…

She thrust her hips up and forward. Her glistening sex beckoned to him, the rapid clamping motion of her pussy inviting him to come back inside where it was warm…

…

He pulled out. Since she hadn’t mentioned condoms when they started having sex, he just figured he’d do the polite thing. Pull out and cum on her stomach, or something like that. When he looked down and saw her pussy still spread wide open, her probably fertile hole still gaping for him in the shape of his cock. Well, he had to finish what he started. He had to finish inside her.

With barely a second to think about it, his jizz started pouring out of him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t stop it now. His semen pouring into her vagina, dripping its way to coat her almost visible cervix. Her screams of ecstasy as she finally came, mixing with the watching realization that she was sucking his cum into her womb, trying to get pregnant.

And, yeah, he was okay with it. This is what he wanted. And, if it meant being able to fuck her all the time and finally throw his condoms in the trash… Well, he could get used to that.

PART 3

In this position he was in complete control. Once he saw her big, jiggling tits and breeding hips, he knew how he wanted to use her. When he got her in position she saw his big, unprotected cock ready to impale her defenseless, ovulating pussy. She gave him a pleading look, but said nothing. Even she wasn’t sure whether she was begging him to stop or for him to fill her with his seed. Her fertile slit was messing with her decision making, she just wanted him to fill her up so badly. Looking down on her, he could see how her beautiful body would take to being bred gorgeously. She had a figure that needed to be dominated by a fat, heavy belly full of multiples to compliment her big tits and breeding hips.She couldn’t control herself after he’d gotten at her pussy. Sucking her tits ad been one thing, it had be so nice and gotten her really in the mood for more. But she was so fertile today that more wasn’t really on the table. His fingers between her legs had been doing such a good job, but they weren’t quite enough. She needed something thick, and filling. As he robbed her of her panties and spread her legs she just sat there dumbfounded. She just moaned as he pressed inside, it was just what she wanted. Just what she couldn’t have. Yet she never gave a second warning that she was ovulating, she just lay back and felt him thrusting inside, dangerous, unprotected, bare cock. When he came her own orgasm crashed down on her heavily. She could feel her sucking womb drinking up all of his virile, voluminous seed. All right into her incredibly fertile womb to find her ripe, waiting eggs. Her body would soon grow plump and round to grow his babies inside her fertile belly.

PART 4

She had intended to hop off when he was about to cum, but when the moment arrived and he warned her, something unexpected “clicked” inside her.  Just the thought of staying put and feeling him shoot of inside her generated a kind of excitement that had never occurred to her before.  The risk…knowing she was unprotected and in this critical moment her decision could mean she was about to be impregnated…or not, depending on which cards nature would decided to deal her.  The thought was dizzying, and the more she thought about it, the more excited she became.

Then, it happened.  Her body made the decision for her.  An orgasm the likes of which she had never felt before ripped through her loins, her pussy spasming, clenching, squeezing his cock. She pressed down on him as hard as she could and felt him swell, then begin tom spasm hard inside her.  Feeling the first thick, hot spurt of his cum erupt deep inside her, flooding her unprotected womb, was too much.  She just kept cumming and cumming as he filled her.

It was the most intense orgasm she’d ever had, and she would never even consider having her lovers pull out ever again.  The risk was too enticing, and she had to have more.

PART 5

I don’t know what came over me. I’m a smart girl who’s had sex ed, so I should have known better. But the second I saw his cock, all that was out of my head. Instinct took over. My body was in control. Instead of making sure he was wearing a condom, I jumped right on top of his cock and shoved it way into my pussy during the most dangerous time of the month. Now I don’t know what’s going to happen or what the future has in store for me. All I know is that there’s nothing quite like a bare, hard cock, and there’s nothing that could stop me from doing this again and again and again.

PART 6

It took a while to get her to warm up to the thrill of pregnancy risk sex, but he was determined to teach her, to train her, to make her into his willing breeding slut.

The first time, he let her ride him, giving her the false sense of security that she could hop off at any time, along with the false promise he would warn her when e was about to cum.  But when the critical moment arrived, he held her tight so she couldn’t dismount and pushed into her as deep as he could, ignoring her protests and erupting into her unprotected womb.

The second time, he fucked her from behind, with the false promise that he would pull out.  Again, he held her tight, pushed into her balls deep, and let it all go into her.  Already, she was protesting less, a primal feeling beginning to awaken in her, an instinctive need she didn’t know she had.

The third time, he fucked her doggy style, holding her arms and pushing into her as he came.  Even less protest this time, she found herself pushing back toward him, trying to take him deeper as she felt him erupt inside her.

The fourth time, no promises were made.  As she felt him start to spasm, she pushed back against him as hard as she could, the hot jets of his cum spurting deep into her womb and triggering her own shuddering orgasm.

Finally, the fifth time he once again allowed her to be in “control,” rising him to completion.  This time she slammed down hard on his cock, begging and pleading for his seed, at the critical moment joining him in the throes of intense orgasm.  Her training was complete.  She ached for the risk as much as he did. Now she was his, to breed over and over again.

PART 7

The dawn breaks. In the new light the first thing my eyes find is you. The soft rays accentuating your curves, caressing your skin. As I do now. With my hands you are now awake. We kiss.

Now my mouth moves away from yours. I am nibbling at your ears. Nuzzling at your neck. My fingers wander to your breasts. Circling your nipples, hard with excitement. I move to suckle on them too. Now my hand moves down further, between your legs. And to my delight I find your slit already slick with the wetness of your excitement. Excitement at what we are to do this morning.

For today is the day you ovulate. And we do not want to waste any time

Your hands have been busy too. They caress my balls, rub my penis, and now I am fully engorged. It didn’t take long, but we are ready. I hasten to position myself over you, and plunge between your labia and into the wonders within.

The wet pleasure of your warmth envelops me. It is our first time bare and the sensations are new. They drive me wild. Your legs wrap around me, beckoning me in further. You let out a low moan.

I start to thrust. Breathing becomes shorter, shallower. I can feel your heartbeat quicken, pulsing in your vaginal wall. I’m quivering. The air is electric with the strength and stench of our passion. I’m losing myself completely within you, until with one word you bring me back.

“Faster”, your eyes beg. I nod. It’s all I can manage. I lean back and bring your legs up onto my shoulders. I thrust again. And again.

I’m pushing deeper and faster than ever before. Your moans are coming more louder now. Building to a crescendo. Your breasts bouncing in rhythm. I’m lost, hopelessly lost. Grunting. Straining with every movement. And now your moans are screams.

Your eyes roll back. Your back arches. And now your body is convulsing in ecstasy. It pushes me over the edge. With one final thrust I plunge to the hilt within you.

Once, twice, thrice - I shudder as the power of my orgasm runs through me. Spilling each spurt of semen deeply. With pleasure you feel the warmth of my ejaculate as it spreads within you, pooling around your cervix at the opening to your womb.

Spent, we fold into each other’s arms and doze. Waiting until the new day has fully begun. And waiting for my sperm to reach your egg. Waiting for the beginning of a new life. 

PART 8

You had a feeling this would happen. He never called unless he wanted sex. Which was fine with you because he also made sure to use protection, but when you walked in and he instantly grabbed you by the throat and kissed you then started ripping your clothes off without hesitation. You always liked being dominated so it only added to your intense horniness. After he stripped you completely he picked your little body up and took you to the bedroom throwing you on the bed and threw himself between your legs. He’s never done this before it was always just sex. He was so good the way he sucked your clit and shoved his tongue inside. It had you moaning so loud you had to cover your mouth to muffle it some, not that it helped much.

But the big part was when he pulled off his belt and took your hands tied them up with it and spread your legs again and shoved inside without hesitation and without anything on. He felt so much better and you knew it. He didn’t hold back fucking you harder than you probably ever have by anyone.
He fucked you for what felt like forever and you lost count at how many times you came all over him but he undid the belt and moved you onto his lap and started bouncing you up and down on him and it was then you knew what he was doing. All the random questions about your period. Your family when they’ve gotten pregnant. He was putting together when the best time would be, and you’re period ending exactly two weeks ago today made so much sense. He was trying to knock you up tonight and you wanted to protest but it felt way to good and the risk felt even greater. Just at that thought you came again soaking him up and he threw his hand on your clit rubbing hard as he sunk you down all the way moaning hard as he started growing inside you twitching harder and harder as he came deep inside your little pussy. There was no way you were getting out of this one. It was happening so you might as well enjoy it.

You made him stay through the night and fill your stomach up with as many loads as he could build up.And within a few months you​ are gonna be happy and slowly growing

PART 9

“Pussy.” She’s giving the only proper answer to the question, “Do you know where I’m going to shoot my load?” Especially when she’s pulled off the condom and thrown it on the floor already.

By far this is my favorite position to pound and fill a pussy. Her wide-open legs demonstrate that she knows her purpose. With one or both feet on the ground I can pound her as hard as I want, slapping my balls against her with each thrust, and bouncing her and her tits around the sofa. She has a fine view of her pussy serving its purpose and stretched around my cock, milking it. Finally I can watch her expression as I stop thrusting, bury the tip of my cock against her cervix, and she knows she’s seconds away from being inseminated.

PART 10

Her hands trailed up and down her torso, nails gently tickling the soft skin. She imagined they were his hands, that he was kneeling above her, palms exploring her body as she squirmed beneath him. She bit her lip as her fingers ran over her breasts, aching to feel his callused fingers on her nipples. A soft cry escaped her lips as she pinched them, her back arching slightly. She wished he was here, so that his mouth could kiss them.

She moved her hands down her body and across her thighs, teasing herself the way she knew he would. A contented sigh escaped her lips as her a single finger brushed across her slit. Fuck, she was wet. So much wetter than she thought. “Baby,” she whispered, picturing him between her legs, her thighs thrown over his shoulders and his breath blowing over her scorching core. “Baby I need you,”.

When her fingers circled her clit, a bolt of pleasure shot up her spine and she gasped loudly. Her body always became hypersensitive whenever she was ovulating, with the sensitivity of her nether regions increasing tenfold. All she wanted right now was for his hard cock to be pumping away at her pussy, but for now, her fingers would have to suffice.

She lost herself in her fantasy, legs spread wide in the air as she shoved two fingers into her pussy, pressing them against her walls and raking them along her g-spot. The flat of her palm roughly brushed across her clit with each thrust. “Fuck me, baby!” she cried. All she needed right now was his thick, veiny cock to be sliding in and out of her fertile pussy and filling her with cum, making her deepest wish come true.

They had never discussed this fantasy of hers, mostly because she was too embarrassed to admit it. She would always change the subject whenever the conversation veered too close for comfort. Right now though, her body was producing an obscene amount of wetness from the thought of him blowing his load inside her and knocking her up. She couldn’t help but moan loudly at the thought of him bending her in two, her wrists pinned above her head as he drove himself into her, “Fuuuck, baby I’m so close!” she panted, “Cum in me…get me pregnant…baby I want you to make me pregnant….OHHH!”. Her hips lifted off the bed as an orgasm was ripped out of her.

“Do you really want me to?”. She gasped at the sound of his voice, eyes snapping open to see him leaning against the doorframe, a curious look on his face.

Oh shit, she thought.

———————————————

He’d managed to get off work early today and was going to surprise her with a dinner date. He let himself into their shared apartment and was greeted by the sounds of her soft moans. He smiled inwardly at the thought of her pleasuring herself.

Silently, he made his way over to their bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, watching her intently. She looked beautiful; her chest flushed pink, hair splayed across the bed and fingers buried in her dripping pussy. Even from this distance, he could see how wet she was. The smell of her arousal, coupled with the sloppy sounds of her fingers sliding in and out of her sex was enough to have his cock hard in seconds. The words pouring from her mouth, though, were the icing on the cake.

“Cum in me!” she was saying, “I want you to get me pregnant….”

Though she had never explicitly said so, he’d always had a sneaking suspicion that pregnancy risk sex turned her on. Here was his confirmation. He palmed himself through his pants at he watched her cum all over her fingers. He spoke - with a surprisingly clear voice - as she came down from her high, “Do you really want me to?”.

A panicked look crossed her face when she caught sight of him. “Babe!” she squeaked, “I…I didn’t think you were coming home so soon…I…” her voice trailed off as he stalked towards her. Her lip trembled.

“Babydoll, why did you never tell me?” he asked softly, coming to stand before her. She hung her head and sighed.

“Because I thought you might be freaked out by it,” she admitted.

“Freaked out? Fuck no! Babe,” he said, “Honey, look at me,”. Her eyes lifted to meet his, “Look at what you’ve done to me,”. Her eyes travelled down his body and widened when they saw the bulge in his pants.

“You…?”

“I want this to, baby, I want this to,” he said, voice low and husky.

With a coy smile on her face, she lay back down, “Then take me,” she replied.

He growled, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and sliding off his work trousers, before crawling between her legs. She lifted them up in the air and he grabbed her calves, gently nipping on one, then the other, before hooking both over his shoulders. He hunkered down, so that she was bent in half, and kissed her nose.

“You sure you want this?” he asked.

She looped her arms around his neck and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, “Surer than anything I’ve ever been sure about,” she quipped, a carnal hunger in her eyes. He guided his length along her slick folds, coating the shaft with her wetness.

“You’re so wet for me, baby,” he murmured. She bit her lip and nodded.

Unable to wait any longer, he took himself in hand and pushed himself into her, burying himself to the hilt. She clutched at his back and moaned loudly as he speared her open. His thrusts started off slow and shallow, giving her time to accommodate his length. Soon enough, her nails were digging into his back and he increased his pace, slamming his manhood into her as deep as he could go.

“Fuck!” she squealed, as the head of his cock raked across spots within her that she could never reach on her own, “Baby…I…oh you feel so good,” she whimpered.

He grunted in agreement, his brain incapable of making coherent speech at this point. Her head was thrown back, exposing her delicate neck to him. He sucked and nibbled at the sensitive skin there, moaning in approval as her walls fluttered around him in response.

She laced her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck and he hummed appreciatively, sucking fiercely at the hollow of her throat. Their combined moans, grunts and cries of ecstasy bounced off the walls of their room, punctuated by the wet sounds of skin slapping against skin.

“M’ close,” he growled, “You want me to cum in you?”

In response, her hands slid down his back and dug into his ass, drawing him deeper. Her legs hooked around his waist, locking him in. He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him, maintaining the attention of her lust-filled, heavy-lidded eyes. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he murmured.

“Want…I…want you…to c-c-cum in…me,” she managed to pant, “….and…get me…pregnant,”.

“You want me to knock you up? Want to get pregnant with my baby?”. He was losing it now, teetering on the brink of orgasm, hammering his hips into her pelvis as fast as he could, chasing his release.

She came with a loud cry, her walls clamping down on his cock. The sensation of her velvet slickness flexing and fluttering around his length was all too much and with a guttural grunt, he plunged his cock in as deep as he could manage, as it twitched and throbbed, painting her insides white. He growled with relief as the contents of his balls emptied themselves into her waiting womb.

Her fingers trailed up his sides and cupped his face, bringing him in for a kiss as they came off their joint high. “That was amazing,” she whispered. He nodded in agreement, too breathless to muster up words.

“So amazing, I want to do it again,”. Her hot breath tickled his ear and he let out a groan.

“Gimme…gimme time to catch my breath…” he panted. The smile he got in return was priceless.

PART 11

Well, here they were. After weeks of wisely trying to avoid having straight-up in-and-out sex by trading oral favors, mutually masturbating, and teasing handjobs, they had given in to the temptation to bring his uncovered, very erect cock really close to her unprotected opening. Without saying a word, he started pressing his member up against her groin at first, stimulating both of them, and then slowly moved himself until his head was pushing at her labia.

“Stop,” she had whispered, not wanting anything to proceed from there, hoping to avoid the danger. He froze, not moving, but also not letting up on his pressure against her fun hole which felt so wonderful and inviting. They stayed there for several minutes, looking into each other’s eyes, chemicals and excitement and lust gushing through both of their bodies. Finally, he started pushing harder at her opening, and this time, she said nothing. She no longer had the power to resist. He figured that she had changed her mind about stopping, and so he pushed himself inside…

Now they were fucking, in earnest, at a healthy, relaxing pace. It was pure bliss and enjoyment for both of them. Why had they avoided doing this for so long?

The inevitable was about to occur. It would start to feel really, really good for both of them, and then his pace would quicken. They would keep rutting at each other with increasing intensity until the point of no return, when they would start playing the risk game, a game that neither of them had really wanted to play a few minutes ago, but that they were going to play anyway.

It felt too good to avoid playing now. They both needed the pleasure. Nothing else in life seemed to matter.

PART 12

You’re really asking me for a sperm donation?” Her best friend laughs, raising an eyebrow as he sits on her couch while she’s pacing around nervously, biting her lip as she nods slightly. “You know that I want kids and… I don’t want to wait any longer.” She says before she sits down next to him, looking at him with her innocent big brown eyes. He sighs deeply, running his fingers through his hair before he smiles at her. “Fine. But then we’re going to do this right way.” He says, quickly pulling her on his lap before his lips meet hers and she gasps but quickly melts into the kiss. “You sure?” She whispers and he chuckles and nods, carrying her upstairs. They couldn’t get undressed fast enough, both of them not being able to keep their hands of each other. Their lips weren’t leaving each other, their tongues swirling around and they moan as their naked bodies finally collide, losing themselves in pleasure. Her pussy is soaking wet, she seems to love the touch of a real man and it was easy for him to slip his cock inside. She is on top of him, her lips constantly locked with his as their hips meet, the sound of their moans and skin slapping against each other filling the room. It didn’t take long for them to get closer to the edge and they orgasm at the same time, his potent seed filling her womb, making her belly bulge slightly and as he slowly pulls out, his cum is leaking out of her. The two lines on her pregnancy test two weeks later only led to another round of hot steaming sex.

PART 13

No condoms and the middle of her cycle we find a way to enjoy each other. Kissing leads to intense hand play. She’s definitely fertile, her pussy is soaked. I can see in her face, my fingers are working her clit and pussy to orgasm. She can see in my face her hand is rapidly bringing precum coated cock to orgasm.

We meet eyes, realizing we’ve never orgasmed together before and it might be happening shortly. Breath shortening, hearts racing, minds fighting primal urges.

I watch her, soon to be convulsing on the bed in pleasure. She watches me, knowing I will stiffen and explode.

Never simultaneously.

How amazing would it be to explode together, for the first time. But we can’t. She can’t get pregnant. But how amazing would it be to scream in ecstasy together, orgasming as one on the bed? Are we ready for a baby? Is this how we are to bring a child into the world…..

As she is moments away, pulling on me harder, spreading her legs farther apart.

Bliss and impending pleasure blinds our rational thoughts as I lean forward and she raises her hips, allowing me to penetrate her pussy at the exact moment our orgasms hit. We wrap our arms and legs around each other, spasming on the bed, enjoy our first mutual orgasm as semen explodes into her fertile womb.