PERSONAL: I AM HEART BROKEN...I WANT TO DIE TODAY

When I first met her I thought she was just another girl. Little did I know of the impact she would have in my world. But as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. I found it was for her that my heart would hunt. In the mornings when I first would wake my heart for her would begin to ache. This scared me greatly for I had been hurt before. With every single minute of every single day. I learned more and more of her sweet loving ways. I would often tell myself that with her I wanted to be and always stay. I loved her in each and every way, more and more with each passing day. But as time changed so did her feelings of love. And there went my dreams of her and I being one. I convinced myself that she was the person I was destined to marry, she left me. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I was inconsolable, believing that my entire world had come crashing down around me. My love for her is my addiction.I have found no remedy nothing pure enough.  As the clouds pass by...all the times you made me cry and wonder what I did

I try not to think about you all the time, because I know you're not mine.  I knew I loved you at first glance.  Will I ever have a chance?  In my dreams our love is being rushed, but when I wake, I'm really crushed.  What am I to do?  I cannot live like this.  If only I got one kiss.  My love for you is
so true.  

why can't we be strong?
why can't we last long?
why can't this pain go away?
why can't you not go, and here stay?
why can't you miss me?
why can't i be what you want me to be?
why can't our love last forever?
why can't we say never?
why can't you figure out i loved you?
why can't tears stop running down my cheek?
why can't i ever talk or speak?


Last night  I cried at night wondering why things were this way that all I had left was a memory from you. I did everything I could to forget you but it was impossible the more I tried the more your memory came to my mind all I did . I was love you with all my heart but a broken heart was all I had left . I thought loving you was a good thing that had happened to me .I decided to change for I never wanted the same pain I felt before. How lonely and lost I felt without you but you don't understand that  I gave you my heart without any exceptions too many memories too much  pain so much time you played.

Memories, Memories clouding my head, I don't want to remember but, don't want to forget.What I've done, What I've said, Will it matter in the end? I need something to get me through the day,
Something to keep me till tomorrow, Something to stop my head, Something to soothe this sorrow. Wipe away my tears, Act like it's okay. But, somehow, I won't forget, All of my pain,
All of this depression I have felt, and all of my lingering guilt,a nd how you left me to die.Use me, Abuse me. Look at me with  distant eyes, Touch me with fingers,  So cold, And lie- to make me...
Believe you.I sit here filling cups with tears


My chest is in so much pain, enough pain to make me sick. My chest hurts  because of the broken heart underneath. It is now left shattered.I gave you my heart,  but you just tore it apart.
How do you get over it so fast? To you, it's just part of the past.My eyes try to hide all the pain inside.  My smile is only a lie.I have no seams, but I'm ripping apart. for all my lost dreams, and my crushed heart. Please don't let me bleed. Help my suffering to end.You will never know
...the depths of my emptiness...the shallowness of my heart...the sharpness of my pain. You have no idea what you mean to me Obviously...you have no idea how much
I
Love
You