When I first met her I thought she was just another girl. Little did I know of the impact she would have in my world. But as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. I found it was for her that my heart would hunt. In the mornings when I first would wake my heart for her would begin to ache. This scared me greatly for I had been hurt before. With every single minute of every single day. I learned more and more of her sweet loving ways. I would often tell myself that with her I wanted to be and always stay. I loved her in each and every way, more and more with each passing day. But as time changed so did her feelings of love. And there went my dreams of her and I being one. I convinced myself that she was the person I was destined to marry, she left me. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I was inconsolable, believing that my entire world had come crashing down around me. My love for her is my addiction.I have found no remedy nothing pure enough. As the clouds pass by...all the times you made me cry and wonder what I did
I try not to think about you all the time, because I know you're not mine. I knew I loved you at first glance. Will I ever have a chance? In my dreams our love is being rushed, but when I wake, I'm really crushed. What am I to do? I cannot live like this. If only I got one kiss. My love for you is
so true.
why can't we be strong?
why can't we last long?
why can't this pain go away?
why can't you not go, and here stay?
why can't you miss me?
why can't i be what you want me to be?
why can't our love last forever?
why can't we say never?
why can't you figure out i loved you?
why can't tears stop running down my cheek?
why can't i ever talk or speak?
Last night I cried at night wondering why things were this way that all I had left was a memory from you. I did everything I could to forget you but it was impossible the more I tried the more your memory came to my mind all I did . I was love you with all my heart but a broken heart was all I had left . I thought loving you was a good thing that had happened to me .I decided to change for I never wanted the same pain I felt before. How lonely and lost I felt without you but you don't understand that I gave you my heart without any exceptions too many memories too much pain so much time you played.
Memories, Memories clouding my head, I don't want to remember but, don't want to forget.What I've done, What I've said, Will it matter in the end? I need something to get me through the day,
Something to keep me till tomorrow, Something to stop my head, Something to soothe this sorrow. Wipe away my tears, Act like it's okay. But, somehow, I won't forget, All of my pain,
All of this depression I have felt, and all of my lingering guilt,a nd how you left me to die.Use me, Abuse me. Look at me with distant eyes, Touch me with fingers, So cold, And lie- to make me...
Believe you.I sit here filling cups with tears
My chest is in so much pain, enough pain to make me sick. My chest hurts because of the broken heart underneath. It is now left shattered.I gave you my heart, but you just tore it apart.
How do you get over it so fast? To you, it's just part of the past.My eyes try to hide all the pain inside. My smile is only a lie.I have no seams, but I'm ripping apart. for all my lost dreams, and my crushed heart. Please don't let me bleed. Help my suffering to end.You will never know
...the depths of my emptiness...the shallowness of my heart...the sharpness of my pain. You have no idea what you mean to me Obviously...you have no idea how much
I
Love
You
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Friday, November 3, 2017
PERSONA;: STRIPPING DOWN AND BEING HONEST ABOUT LOVE PART 1
Once of my favorite section in Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is about love.
“My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can i do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"love her," I replied.
"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. the feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend , love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
I am both saddened and exhausted with the number of people who say they’re looking for good love, but approach it like they’re car shopping — 5 year warranty, leather seats, all the bells and whistles. Oh, but I want it to love me “back.” Forever.
And it makes me sad for them. Because they truly keep waking up each day not fully understanding why nobody sticks around, and I want to shake them, tearful and screaming,
Love is not a checkbox. People are not a thing. Neither are a requirement or an accomplishment, and while they may have standing as status symbols and social objects, the reality is that holding them in this light ruins the underlying potential for real love. The two mindsets cannot coexist.
Love is work. Love is commitment. In the same sense your job isn’t about putting on a paper suit and carrying an empty briefcase around just to tell people your title, and good love isn’t hollow either. (And in the same way that many people do make their work into little more than empty time sucks, they absolutely do this with love as well. But there is no meaning at the end of it, in either one.)
Love isn’t a static, one and done achievement to attain. The goal isn’t to “settle down,” but reinvest day after day.
If you want meaning, you have to make meaning. And if you want richness and real love, you have to invest accordingly. That doesn’t mean planning date nights and putting on cute outfits and remembering anniversaries. It means actually and deeply caring about the other person and their unique, human person life experience — every day.
It’s natural to treat love like a static thing to obtain. It can be tempting to pretend as if there’s one little thing that, if you could just get it under control, would fix everything and all would be okay.
This is why love feels so hard to “get,” and why real love is even harder. Good partners aren’t picked up like a haphazard game of human musical chairs. Not the good ones anyway, not the ones with real love.
I can’t guarantee that you’ll have good love. It’s a privilege, not a right, and it isn’t promised to anyone, you or me alike.
But I can guarantee that you will never have love — real love, dat good AF authentic love— if you think of it like a checkbox or status symbol in your life.
We get what we put out in the world, and that includes approaching other people with the same whole-hearted, honest to goodness grace and respect and investment that we most yearn for back.
It’s not that I’m telling you that you have to wait around for someone who sees you as their Dream Person. In fact, I’m saying the opposite. I’m saying that we should have good values — and we should find partners that have good values. And part of those good values should be not holding out for some idealized image of perfection — or settling for someone who’s eying us the same way.
I’m saying you deserve someone who’s got their head on straight and their values in the right place and wakes up each morning, looks at you — in your utterly imperfect human-being-ness — and still thinks to themselves, “aww yeah.”
Maybe you care for each other. Or maybe you just want to care for each other. Maybe you want him, but you’d want him even more if only.
Don’t live your life that way. Don’t treat other human beings that way. And don’t let other human beings regard you that way. Don’t settle for a partner who looks at you across the table and internally sighs, “not perfect, but they’ll do.” Look for someone who smiles, “doesn’t matter — I want them.” And, equally important, be that person back.
It doesn’t matter if everything is there if they always hold “perfection” over your head. It doesn’t matter if you’re their favorite person to talk to, or they’re secure with you, or they spend all their free time with you, and “every moment together feels as natural as anything you’ve ever known.” If they’re holding out for something “slightly better,” run. That’s not to say that “better” isn’t out there — it’s to say that we shouldn’t settle for people who enter into relationships like they’re something to maximize.
Because there will always be someone more attractive, younger, smarter, more novel (obvs), more fun, whatever. If they want to chase phantoms, fucking let them. Don’t settle for that shit. Imagine how heartbroken you’d feel if you met someone absolutely incredible — only to meet their partner and realize they regarded them as “just okay.” That’s how someone out there will feel meeting you and your partner if you settle for someone who does this.
You deserve better. We all do. If they are holding out for something, leave. If they aren’t sure, leave. If they have reasons — timing, not being ready, busy, doesn’t want to ruin it, etc. — then bounce. If they cared, they wouldn’t want to risk it. So leave if they do. You deserve more than someone who isn’t sure.
It is one thing to give someone time and space to work out a decision — we all need that from time to time. Making decisions that affect our lives require thought and even reflection to be certain we are ready, or at least ready to give it a shot. Yet if time after time, she finds yet another reason to place you on the backburner, then you shouldn’t keep holding on to someone who views you more as a choice she can’t make rather than someone she can’t imagine not being with... It’s okay if you want to wait, but you should also know that you shouldn’t be expected to wait forever while someone reels you in and pushes you away in the name of self-preservation.
You deserve someone who chooses you, and continues to choose you. You are a person, not a throw pillow. You add value as a complex and imperfect human being. Wait for someone who sees you as special, not a chore or checkbox. Let someone else step up and do exactly what you’ve been hoping for —choose you, right now. With whatever they have to offer.
Love with intention. You were made for other people who feel deeply; hearts that love with every single beat. You were made for hearts that forget easily, move on gently. You were made for hearts that appreciate and respect what it’s like to be broken, what it’s like to be lonely or what it’s like to miss someone.
You were made for hearts that feel, that know how to have emotions, how to love. You were made for hearts that open and invite you to open in response.
You were made for hearts that are ready to accept your love in its entirety. You were made for hearts that know how to appreciate what your heart has to offer. You were made for hearts that think your love is right.
You were made for consistent love. You were made for hearts that expand into everything. You were made for hearts that do make you feel whole.
“You were made for brave hearts, for fierce hearts, for hearts that go all in, for hearts that plunge into your arms. You were made for hearts that soften your edges, hearts that inspire you to feel everything and more. You were made for hearts that make you want to fall over and over again without worrying about hitting the ground or getting hurt.
You were made for hearts that keep on loving even after too many heartbreaks. You were made for hearts that still know how to love like they’ve never been hurt. You were made for big hearts and hearts that don’t want to settle for anything less than big love.”
You were not made for vulnerable hearts, you were made for hearts that give, you were made for hearts that love. You were made for stable heart, sturdy hearts, secure hearts. You were made for hearts that know how to keep precious hearts like yours safe and protected.
You were made for hearts that can’t help but fall in love with hearts like yours.
So many woman called me boring. I think "boring” is better than “impassioned,” and while most great relationships have a blend of both, forced to choose, we should readily take the former. Consistently warm is far more hospitable than hot and cold for long-term emotional wellbeing.
Boring is beautiful. By “boring,” I mean stability, consistency, reliability. We can hang our hat on these things; we can only build on a solid, unwavering foundation. Greatness is built with consistency. As true for relationships as it is for anything.
Weight loss happens with countless little daily decisions, not binging and purging. Building a company happens in the millions of micro-moments, not landing — and losing — That One Big Client. It’s a lot easier to engineer a solution around consistent variables — regardless of what they are.
When a partner (or the relationship) is up, down, hot, cold, ecstatic, pissed, etc., we spend far too much time managing their feelings and not enough time actually building the relationship. I can’t do anything with an erratic partner.
Greatness is built with agency and taking responsibility.Our partners are not here to keep us “entertained.” If we approach love with healthy hearts, we don’t complain of “boredom” with our partners, because we understand that they are not here to amuse, distract, or otherwise entertain us. Their lives are not fuel for our amusement, they are not here simply to delight and distract. We are responsible for our own emotional wellbeing.
Greatness is built with emotional health. Emotionally healthy people do not chase “romance” and put on exaggerated displays. Emotionally healthy people can lap at the edge of excess; they are satiated on healthy displays of love alone. They understand that real, healthy love is in the every day little shit — remembering the dry cleaning; a hug; a word of encouragement before the big meeting— and they don’t require, nor do they have any real appetite for, the showy shit that’s “shareable” on social media.
Greatness is built in the everyday, not the few exciting moments. Great relationships, like anything, are built in the everyday. They don’t simply endure the everyday to just get to the next vacation or fun outing, just like great work doesn’t simply endure the work week to get to the weekend. Relationships are built in the “white space” of life; they are the everyday. So what we do with that time makes or breaks us.
Every moment we spend with our loved one is precious and invaluable. That’s where the relationship lives or dies. And a lot of those everyday moments are, for the most part, boring. That 80 year old couple holding hands in the park is sharing “boring.” They got there one day at a time. Impassioned is dangerous
By “impassioned” I mean excitement, excess, extremes. Romantic hedonism — new restaurants, gifts, travel, grandiose displays or constant reassurance or lofty, poetic declarations of love. If you want great love, these should make you want to run.
When we chase romance and excitement, we do to “love” what porn does to sex. I can appreciate a sentimental surprise as much as the next guy, but nothing turns me off more than empty romantic gestures for the sake of the gesture. Given the choice, I’d rather take a woman who never does anything “romantic”but is stable and emotionally-secure every day.
“Passion” is dangerous to hang our hearts on because it fades away. It must either be doggedly pursued and constantly refueled, or it runs the risk of exposing the realization that there’s nothing underneath. Love built on frenzied pursuits leaves us fatigued and washed up, looking at each other at the end of our ropes, frustrated that we “can’t come up with anything else to do.”
In good love, there’s nothing “to do” except love one another. Every day. And it doesn’t depend on how we feel, because good, healthy love doesn’t hinge on our feelings; it’s a choice. Every day.
Good love looks and feels “boring”.Real, healthy love is quiet, not loud. It is calm, not frenzied. It is solid and stable, not flighty or fickle. Good love is everyday — every day.
I’ll never complain of boredom with you. Because I want it to be “boring,” and entertainment ain’t your job. I hear people break up over shit like “boredom.” I hear they approach other human beings expecting “entertainment” of them, and I hear they break hearts over bullshit and disillusion. You’re not here to entertain me any more than I’m here to entertain you. We are not put here to “amuse” each other.
You’re a person and I’m a person and we both live our own lives. If I’m bored in life that’s on me, not you, and I would never make it your problem to fix something that’s my problem first to solve.
If I’m correct in understanding this pervasive idea of “boredom” is just “sameness” or “routine,” then to that I have to laugh a little in response. Because, like, lol child — consistency is what I want. If you want to chalk it up as “boring,” I mean… you do you. But I will happily take a little boredom if I what I get back is the same exact person day to day.
Now, if you want to mix it up by bringing home the occasional surprise? Adorable. You want to do something different this weekend? Awesome. Want to try something new in bed — totally cool.
You think it looks boring to like doing the same things, eating the same foods, drinking the same drinks, going to the same places? I don’t give a fuck. What I care about is how you think and act. You think it’s lame not to have cool hobbies; then pick one up, but I don’t care. I think “cool hobbies” pale in comparison to “cool thought” and “cool demeanor.”
You intrigue me deeply on better levels, and I’d happily take what looks like “same” but is secure and smart and solid over spastic and shallow any day. And if you think I’m playing, lol, aiight… then bore me a little. Try me. I’m only going to like you more.
I usually tell any woman I’m dating, early on, “relationships aren’t about magic. I could make it work with most anyone. I just don’t want to.”
Most of what we think of as “love” is bullshit. Most people treat love as something happens to them, or something they “are in.” But love — good, healthy, mature love — is not being or feeling. It’s not motivation or inspiration or being swept away or overwhelmed.
Love is an act. It’s a decision. It’s deliberate. It’s external effort and energy every day. It’s choosing and committing. It’s doing. It’s based on you, not them.So you *can* love anyone
By my definition of love, it seems like in theory it should be possible to love anyone. In theory, sure.Just like anything else you choose and do.You could eat most anything for lunch. You can walk or drive or fly most anywhere. You can spend the money you have however you want. You can do any number of things with your time. You could say anything. And yeah, you could, in theory, love anyone.
But that doesn’t mean you *should* love anyone, Does this mean you should love everyone? No. You can care for everyone’s wellbeing in a passive way, but you can’t actively invest in everyone.
Just like you don’t eat everything — at once, or even in general. You don’t say everything that pops into your head. You don’t do everything, go everywhere, think about everything. You don’t waste your money on hobbies you don’t have. You choose.
You make deliberate decisions on what to do, based on what you want. And you choose who to love just as consciously.
How you choose? Lol, I can tell you one thing for sure: it’s not how most people choose.
If you want good love, you don’t choose based on physical attractiveness. You don’t choose based on how they “make you feel.” You don’t choose based on a stupid set of interests and characteristics (“must love dogs,” “favorite food: lasagna.”)
I only want 4 things in a partner. In order:
Kindness, keeping your word, Emotional health and well being — emotional security and stability and finally someone who take care of their health.
If love is an act, then love is an investment of time and attention (our most valuable things in life.) And if love is an investment, then you love based on return.
Emotional health is the indicator of the ROI of love. If you dump love into an unstable person, you’re pouring it down the drain. But secure people are “easy” to love, give high rewards for reasonable effort, and love back readily.
If you want to be healthy, you choose healthy meals — and then eat them. If you want a good career, you choose a good job — and then actually do good work.And if you want a healthy relationship, you choose an emotionally-healthy partner, and afterwards focus on the work of loving them.
Because emotionally-healthy partners will put in effort and love right back. So pick someone who is a.) self-loving, b.) deserving of your love and c.) will return it and meet your needs.
Should you still love people that hurt/disrespect you?No, not actively. Passively and from afar, maybe — you can wish the best for them and respect their decisions — but not in a way that’s intimate, vulnerable, or invested.
Is love fundamentally selfish? “It seems like… you’re loving people selflessly and not for the sake of what you can get out of it.”Yes and no. Wanting a partner is probably always selfish in the same sense that every reason for wanting a child is selfish. Because your needs — or, at best, your desire to meet their theoretical ones — are all you have going in.
What matters more is what happens afterwards.
Viewing your partner, day to day, as someone to meet your needs is definitely selfish.But wanting to serve their needs, day to day, is love. So being in a good relationship — much like being a good parent — is selfless.
You choose a good person. And then you make the investment of love each and every day. And they do too.You get your needs met, by meeting theirs.
Love can’t exist without self-respect. Love is not “allowing mistreatment.” Love is not “
Loving ourselves means pursuing people that want us, rather than gutting ourselves over people who don’t.
Your time and attention are the most valuable things you have. Invest them in worthwhile people and things.
“My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can i do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"love her," I replied.
"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. the feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend , love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
I am both saddened and exhausted with the number of people who say they’re looking for good love, but approach it like they’re car shopping — 5 year warranty, leather seats, all the bells and whistles. Oh, but I want it to love me “back.” Forever.
And it makes me sad for them. Because they truly keep waking up each day not fully understanding why nobody sticks around, and I want to shake them, tearful and screaming,
Love is not a checkbox. People are not a thing. Neither are a requirement or an accomplishment, and while they may have standing as status symbols and social objects, the reality is that holding them in this light ruins the underlying potential for real love. The two mindsets cannot coexist.
Love is work. Love is commitment. In the same sense your job isn’t about putting on a paper suit and carrying an empty briefcase around just to tell people your title, and good love isn’t hollow either. (And in the same way that many people do make their work into little more than empty time sucks, they absolutely do this with love as well. But there is no meaning at the end of it, in either one.)
Love isn’t a static, one and done achievement to attain. The goal isn’t to “settle down,” but reinvest day after day.
If you want meaning, you have to make meaning. And if you want richness and real love, you have to invest accordingly. That doesn’t mean planning date nights and putting on cute outfits and remembering anniversaries. It means actually and deeply caring about the other person and their unique, human person life experience — every day.
It’s natural to treat love like a static thing to obtain. It can be tempting to pretend as if there’s one little thing that, if you could just get it under control, would fix everything and all would be okay.
This is why love feels so hard to “get,” and why real love is even harder. Good partners aren’t picked up like a haphazard game of human musical chairs. Not the good ones anyway, not the ones with real love.
I can’t guarantee that you’ll have good love. It’s a privilege, not a right, and it isn’t promised to anyone, you or me alike.
But I can guarantee that you will never have love — real love, dat good AF authentic love— if you think of it like a checkbox or status symbol in your life.
We get what we put out in the world, and that includes approaching other people with the same whole-hearted, honest to goodness grace and respect and investment that we most yearn for back.
It’s not that I’m telling you that you have to wait around for someone who sees you as their Dream Person. In fact, I’m saying the opposite. I’m saying that we should have good values — and we should find partners that have good values. And part of those good values should be not holding out for some idealized image of perfection — or settling for someone who’s eying us the same way.
I’m saying you deserve someone who’s got their head on straight and their values in the right place and wakes up each morning, looks at you — in your utterly imperfect human-being-ness — and still thinks to themselves, “aww yeah.”
Maybe you care for each other. Or maybe you just want to care for each other. Maybe you want him, but you’d want him even more if only.
Don’t live your life that way. Don’t treat other human beings that way. And don’t let other human beings regard you that way. Don’t settle for a partner who looks at you across the table and internally sighs, “not perfect, but they’ll do.” Look for someone who smiles, “doesn’t matter — I want them.” And, equally important, be that person back.
It doesn’t matter if everything is there if they always hold “perfection” over your head. It doesn’t matter if you’re their favorite person to talk to, or they’re secure with you, or they spend all their free time with you, and “every moment together feels as natural as anything you’ve ever known.” If they’re holding out for something “slightly better,” run. That’s not to say that “better” isn’t out there — it’s to say that we shouldn’t settle for people who enter into relationships like they’re something to maximize.
Because there will always be someone more attractive, younger, smarter, more novel (obvs), more fun, whatever. If they want to chase phantoms, fucking let them. Don’t settle for that shit. Imagine how heartbroken you’d feel if you met someone absolutely incredible — only to meet their partner and realize they regarded them as “just okay.” That’s how someone out there will feel meeting you and your partner if you settle for someone who does this.
You deserve better. We all do. If they are holding out for something, leave. If they aren’t sure, leave. If they have reasons — timing, not being ready, busy, doesn’t want to ruin it, etc. — then bounce. If they cared, they wouldn’t want to risk it. So leave if they do. You deserve more than someone who isn’t sure.
It is one thing to give someone time and space to work out a decision — we all need that from time to time. Making decisions that affect our lives require thought and even reflection to be certain we are ready, or at least ready to give it a shot. Yet if time after time, she finds yet another reason to place you on the backburner, then you shouldn’t keep holding on to someone who views you more as a choice she can’t make rather than someone she can’t imagine not being with... It’s okay if you want to wait, but you should also know that you shouldn’t be expected to wait forever while someone reels you in and pushes you away in the name of self-preservation.
You deserve someone who chooses you, and continues to choose you. You are a person, not a throw pillow. You add value as a complex and imperfect human being. Wait for someone who sees you as special, not a chore or checkbox. Let someone else step up and do exactly what you’ve been hoping for —choose you, right now. With whatever they have to offer.
Love with intention. You were made for other people who feel deeply; hearts that love with every single beat. You were made for hearts that forget easily, move on gently. You were made for hearts that appreciate and respect what it’s like to be broken, what it’s like to be lonely or what it’s like to miss someone.
You were made for hearts that feel, that know how to have emotions, how to love. You were made for hearts that open and invite you to open in response.
You were made for hearts that are ready to accept your love in its entirety. You were made for hearts that know how to appreciate what your heart has to offer. You were made for hearts that think your love is right.
You were made for consistent love. You were made for hearts that expand into everything. You were made for hearts that do make you feel whole.
“You were made for brave hearts, for fierce hearts, for hearts that go all in, for hearts that plunge into your arms. You were made for hearts that soften your edges, hearts that inspire you to feel everything and more. You were made for hearts that make you want to fall over and over again without worrying about hitting the ground or getting hurt.
You were made for hearts that keep on loving even after too many heartbreaks. You were made for hearts that still know how to love like they’ve never been hurt. You were made for big hearts and hearts that don’t want to settle for anything less than big love.”
You were not made for vulnerable hearts, you were made for hearts that give, you were made for hearts that love. You were made for stable heart, sturdy hearts, secure hearts. You were made for hearts that know how to keep precious hearts like yours safe and protected.
You were made for hearts that can’t help but fall in love with hearts like yours.
So many woman called me boring. I think "boring” is better than “impassioned,” and while most great relationships have a blend of both, forced to choose, we should readily take the former. Consistently warm is far more hospitable than hot and cold for long-term emotional wellbeing.
Boring is beautiful. By “boring,” I mean stability, consistency, reliability. We can hang our hat on these things; we can only build on a solid, unwavering foundation. Greatness is built with consistency. As true for relationships as it is for anything.
Weight loss happens with countless little daily decisions, not binging and purging. Building a company happens in the millions of micro-moments, not landing — and losing — That One Big Client. It’s a lot easier to engineer a solution around consistent variables — regardless of what they are.
When a partner (or the relationship) is up, down, hot, cold, ecstatic, pissed, etc., we spend far too much time managing their feelings and not enough time actually building the relationship. I can’t do anything with an erratic partner.
Greatness is built with agency and taking responsibility.Our partners are not here to keep us “entertained.” If we approach love with healthy hearts, we don’t complain of “boredom” with our partners, because we understand that they are not here to amuse, distract, or otherwise entertain us. Their lives are not fuel for our amusement, they are not here simply to delight and distract. We are responsible for our own emotional wellbeing.
Greatness is built with emotional health. Emotionally healthy people do not chase “romance” and put on exaggerated displays. Emotionally healthy people can lap at the edge of excess; they are satiated on healthy displays of love alone. They understand that real, healthy love is in the every day little shit — remembering the dry cleaning; a hug; a word of encouragement before the big meeting— and they don’t require, nor do they have any real appetite for, the showy shit that’s “shareable” on social media.
Greatness is built in the everyday, not the few exciting moments. Great relationships, like anything, are built in the everyday. They don’t simply endure the everyday to just get to the next vacation or fun outing, just like great work doesn’t simply endure the work week to get to the weekend. Relationships are built in the “white space” of life; they are the everyday. So what we do with that time makes or breaks us.
Every moment we spend with our loved one is precious and invaluable. That’s where the relationship lives or dies. And a lot of those everyday moments are, for the most part, boring. That 80 year old couple holding hands in the park is sharing “boring.” They got there one day at a time. Impassioned is dangerous
By “impassioned” I mean excitement, excess, extremes. Romantic hedonism — new restaurants, gifts, travel, grandiose displays or constant reassurance or lofty, poetic declarations of love. If you want great love, these should make you want to run.
When we chase romance and excitement, we do to “love” what porn does to sex. I can appreciate a sentimental surprise as much as the next guy, but nothing turns me off more than empty romantic gestures for the sake of the gesture. Given the choice, I’d rather take a woman who never does anything “romantic”but is stable and emotionally-secure every day.
“Passion” is dangerous to hang our hearts on because it fades away. It must either be doggedly pursued and constantly refueled, or it runs the risk of exposing the realization that there’s nothing underneath. Love built on frenzied pursuits leaves us fatigued and washed up, looking at each other at the end of our ropes, frustrated that we “can’t come up with anything else to do.”
In good love, there’s nothing “to do” except love one another. Every day. And it doesn’t depend on how we feel, because good, healthy love doesn’t hinge on our feelings; it’s a choice. Every day.
Good love looks and feels “boring”.Real, healthy love is quiet, not loud. It is calm, not frenzied. It is solid and stable, not flighty or fickle. Good love is everyday — every day.
I’ll never complain of boredom with you. Because I want it to be “boring,” and entertainment ain’t your job. I hear people break up over shit like “boredom.” I hear they approach other human beings expecting “entertainment” of them, and I hear they break hearts over bullshit and disillusion. You’re not here to entertain me any more than I’m here to entertain you. We are not put here to “amuse” each other.
You’re a person and I’m a person and we both live our own lives. If I’m bored in life that’s on me, not you, and I would never make it your problem to fix something that’s my problem first to solve.
If I’m correct in understanding this pervasive idea of “boredom” is just “sameness” or “routine,” then to that I have to laugh a little in response. Because, like, lol child — consistency is what I want. If you want to chalk it up as “boring,” I mean… you do you. But I will happily take a little boredom if I what I get back is the same exact person day to day.
Now, if you want to mix it up by bringing home the occasional surprise? Adorable. You want to do something different this weekend? Awesome. Want to try something new in bed — totally cool.
You think it looks boring to like doing the same things, eating the same foods, drinking the same drinks, going to the same places? I don’t give a fuck. What I care about is how you think and act. You think it’s lame not to have cool hobbies; then pick one up, but I don’t care. I think “cool hobbies” pale in comparison to “cool thought” and “cool demeanor.”
You intrigue me deeply on better levels, and I’d happily take what looks like “same” but is secure and smart and solid over spastic and shallow any day. And if you think I’m playing, lol, aiight… then bore me a little. Try me. I’m only going to like you more.
I usually tell any woman I’m dating, early on, “relationships aren’t about magic. I could make it work with most anyone. I just don’t want to.”
Most of what we think of as “love” is bullshit. Most people treat love as something happens to them, or something they “are in.” But love — good, healthy, mature love — is not being or feeling. It’s not motivation or inspiration or being swept away or overwhelmed.
Love is an act. It’s a decision. It’s deliberate. It’s external effort and energy every day. It’s choosing and committing. It’s doing. It’s based on you, not them.So you *can* love anyone
By my definition of love, it seems like in theory it should be possible to love anyone. In theory, sure.Just like anything else you choose and do.You could eat most anything for lunch. You can walk or drive or fly most anywhere. You can spend the money you have however you want. You can do any number of things with your time. You could say anything. And yeah, you could, in theory, love anyone.
But that doesn’t mean you *should* love anyone, Does this mean you should love everyone? No. You can care for everyone’s wellbeing in a passive way, but you can’t actively invest in everyone.
Just like you don’t eat everything — at once, or even in general. You don’t say everything that pops into your head. You don’t do everything, go everywhere, think about everything. You don’t waste your money on hobbies you don’t have. You choose.
You make deliberate decisions on what to do, based on what you want. And you choose who to love just as consciously.
How you choose? Lol, I can tell you one thing for sure: it’s not how most people choose.
If you want good love, you don’t choose based on physical attractiveness. You don’t choose based on how they “make you feel.” You don’t choose based on a stupid set of interests and characteristics (“must love dogs,” “favorite food: lasagna.”)
I only want 4 things in a partner. In order:
Kindness, keeping your word, Emotional health and well being — emotional security and stability and finally someone who take care of their health.
If love is an act, then love is an investment of time and attention (our most valuable things in life.) And if love is an investment, then you love based on return.
Emotional health is the indicator of the ROI of love. If you dump love into an unstable person, you’re pouring it down the drain. But secure people are “easy” to love, give high rewards for reasonable effort, and love back readily.
If you want to be healthy, you choose healthy meals — and then eat them. If you want a good career, you choose a good job — and then actually do good work.And if you want a healthy relationship, you choose an emotionally-healthy partner, and afterwards focus on the work of loving them.
Because emotionally-healthy partners will put in effort and love right back. So pick someone who is a.) self-loving, b.) deserving of your love and c.) will return it and meet your needs.
Should you still love people that hurt/disrespect you?No, not actively. Passively and from afar, maybe — you can wish the best for them and respect their decisions — but not in a way that’s intimate, vulnerable, or invested.
Is love fundamentally selfish? “It seems like… you’re loving people selflessly and not for the sake of what you can get out of it.”Yes and no. Wanting a partner is probably always selfish in the same sense that every reason for wanting a child is selfish. Because your needs — or, at best, your desire to meet their theoretical ones — are all you have going in.
What matters more is what happens afterwards.
Viewing your partner, day to day, as someone to meet your needs is definitely selfish.But wanting to serve their needs, day to day, is love. So being in a good relationship — much like being a good parent — is selfless.
You choose a good person. And then you make the investment of love each and every day. And they do too.You get your needs met, by meeting theirs.
Love can’t exist without self-respect. Love is not “allowing mistreatment.” Love is not “
Loving ourselves means pursuing people that want us, rather than gutting ourselves over people who don’t.
Your time and attention are the most valuable things you have. Invest them in worthwhile people and things.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
PERSONAL .MY DREAM OF BEING A DAD.....WILL IT EVER HAPPEN?
My urge to breed is getting stronger and stronger. I love looking at pregnant women, especially before/after photos, but now the thought of finding my own woman to knock up, of me being the one who fills her pussy with cum and her belly with baby, makes me harder than anything else.
I want a woman who wants to be made pregnant as much as I want her to be. I want to look me in the eye and see her consent, and then I want to grab her and control her with my powerfully masculine embrace. Then I will enter her as strongly as I can, my rock-solid penis pummeling her in a desperate frenzy as I imagine my chosen woman growing heavy with my baby. My pussy-addled consciousness imagines how much different, how much better-looking you will be just a few short months after I’ve seeded you.
I can’t wait until you’re showing so I can parade you in public, my perfect pregnant mate, and letting everyone seeing what I’ve made you into, how much I’ve altered and continue to control your beautiful form. Whenever we’re out and about my hands will constantly be on your gravid belly, caressing your perfect body in a mixture of pride and astonishment at how different and how much more beautiful you are from when I first met you. And the second we’re not in public my hands will be tearing off your respectable clothes to fondle your enormous breasts and wide hips.
Fuck, it’s about to happen. I’m about to lose control and ejaculate my seed into her. The fantasy is about to become a reality. Everything is going to change. Whether consciously or not she too realizes this and I can feel her pussy clamp down ever tighter around me, the thought of the man she adores remaking her and taking ownership of her to an extent she never imagined possible making her as desperate to keep the impregnating essence inside of her as I am to give it. At last I begin to orgasm, and as I feel my cum begin to spurt I bury my cock as deep into her into as I can, my entire body and mind willing her to be made pregnant.
It seems like an eternity before I begin to soften. She now has a baby, my baby, growing inside of her, I know it. And judging by her reaction, the mixture of fatigue and satisfaction but also the beginning of a maternal sense of completion, she knows she is too.
This is the only I want or have ever wanted.
I want a woman who wants to be made pregnant as much as I want her to be. I want to look me in the eye and see her consent, and then I want to grab her and control her with my powerfully masculine embrace. Then I will enter her as strongly as I can, my rock-solid penis pummeling her in a desperate frenzy as I imagine my chosen woman growing heavy with my baby. My pussy-addled consciousness imagines how much different, how much better-looking you will be just a few short months after I’ve seeded you.
I can’t wait until you’re showing so I can parade you in public, my perfect pregnant mate, and letting everyone seeing what I’ve made you into, how much I’ve altered and continue to control your beautiful form. Whenever we’re out and about my hands will constantly be on your gravid belly, caressing your perfect body in a mixture of pride and astonishment at how different and how much more beautiful you are from when I first met you. And the second we’re not in public my hands will be tearing off your respectable clothes to fondle your enormous breasts and wide hips.
Fuck, it’s about to happen. I’m about to lose control and ejaculate my seed into her. The fantasy is about to become a reality. Everything is going to change. Whether consciously or not she too realizes this and I can feel her pussy clamp down ever tighter around me, the thought of the man she adores remaking her and taking ownership of her to an extent she never imagined possible making her as desperate to keep the impregnating essence inside of her as I am to give it. At last I begin to orgasm, and as I feel my cum begin to spurt I bury my cock as deep into her into as I can, my entire body and mind willing her to be made pregnant.
It seems like an eternity before I begin to soften. She now has a baby, my baby, growing inside of her, I know it. And judging by her reaction, the mixture of fatigue and satisfaction but also the beginning of a maternal sense of completion, she knows she is too.
This is the only I want or have ever wanted.
The most romantic thing in the world is a girl taking an uncovered, erect dick into her body, trying to make it soft again.
Massaging it, milking it, sheathing it with warmth and tightness, moving along the length of it with her wet tissues, until it squirts, and being feminine enough to take the contents of his testicles all in her womb, milking and stimulating him through his orgasm.
Then putting her panties back on and going about her day without washing his sperm out, showing to the man that his semen isn’t just welcomed in her body, but welcomed to stay and swim up her Fallopian tubes and drown her egg with his DNA.
PART 2
There she was at the very edge of an orgasm, when suddenly he slid his throbbing member out from the deep reaches of her pussy.
“No…”, she whispered. He was supposed to finish inside me. I need his baby-making swimmers in me while I’m fertile…
She thrust her hips up and forward. Her glistening sex beckoned to him, the rapid clamping motion of her pussy inviting him to come back inside where it was warm…
…
He pulled out. Since she hadn’t mentioned condoms when they started having sex, he just figured he’d do the polite thing. Pull out and cum on her stomach, or something like that. When he looked down and saw her pussy still spread wide open, her probably fertile hole still gaping for him in the shape of his cock. Well, he had to finish what he started. He had to finish inside her.
With barely a second to think about it, his jizz started pouring out of him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t stop it now. His semen pouring into her vagina, dripping its way to coat her almost visible cervix. Her screams of ecstasy as she finally came, mixing with the watching realization that she was sucking his cum into her womb, trying to get pregnant.
And, yeah, he was okay with it. This is what he wanted. And, if it meant being able to fuck her all the time and finally throw his condoms in the trash… Well, he could get used to that.
PART 3
In this position he was in complete control. Once he saw her big, jiggling tits and breeding hips, he knew how he wanted to use her. When he got her in position she saw his big, unprotected cock ready to impale her defenseless, ovulating pussy. She gave him a pleading look, but said nothing. Even she wasn’t sure whether she was begging him to stop or for him to fill her with his seed. Her fertile slit was messing with her decision making, she just wanted him to fill her up so badly. Looking down on her, he could see how her beautiful body would take to being bred gorgeously. She had a figure that needed to be dominated by a fat, heavy belly full of multiples to compliment her big tits and breeding hips.She couldn’t control herself after he’d gotten at her pussy. Sucking her tits ad been one thing, it had be so nice and gotten her really in the mood for more. But she was so fertile today that more wasn’t really on the table. His fingers between her legs had been doing such a good job, but they weren’t quite enough. She needed something thick, and filling. As he robbed her of her panties and spread her legs she just sat there dumbfounded. She just moaned as he pressed inside, it was just what she wanted. Just what she couldn’t have. Yet she never gave a second warning that she was ovulating, she just lay back and felt him thrusting inside, dangerous, unprotected, bare cock. When he came her own orgasm crashed down on her heavily. She could feel her sucking womb drinking up all of his virile, voluminous seed. All right into her incredibly fertile womb to find her ripe, waiting eggs. Her body would soon grow plump and round to grow his babies inside her fertile belly.
PART 4
She had intended to hop off when he was about to cum, but when the moment arrived and he warned her, something unexpected “clicked” inside her. Just the thought of staying put and feeling him shoot of inside her generated a kind of excitement that had never occurred to her before. The risk…knowing she was unprotected and in this critical moment her decision could mean she was about to be impregnated…or not, depending on which cards nature would decided to deal her. The thought was dizzying, and the more she thought about it, the more excited she became.
Then, it happened. Her body made the decision for her. An orgasm the likes of which she had never felt before ripped through her loins, her pussy spasming, clenching, squeezing his cock. She pressed down on him as hard as she could and felt him swell, then begin tom spasm hard inside her. Feeling the first thick, hot spurt of his cum erupt deep inside her, flooding her unprotected womb, was too much. She just kept cumming and cumming as he filled her.
It was the most intense orgasm she’d ever had, and she would never even consider having her lovers pull out ever again. The risk was too enticing, and she had to have more.
PART 5
I don’t know what came over me. I’m a smart girl who’s had sex ed, so I should have known better. But the second I saw his cock, all that was out of my head. Instinct took over. My body was in control. Instead of making sure he was wearing a condom, I jumped right on top of his cock and shoved it way into my pussy during the most dangerous time of the month. Now I don’t know what’s going to happen or what the future has in store for me. All I know is that there’s nothing quite like a bare, hard cock, and there’s nothing that could stop me from doing this again and again and again.
PART 6
It took a while to get her to warm up to the thrill of pregnancy risk sex, but he was determined to teach her, to train her, to make her into his willing breeding slut.
The first time, he let her ride him, giving her the false sense of security that she could hop off at any time, along with the false promise he would warn her when e was about to cum. But when the critical moment arrived, he held her tight so she couldn’t dismount and pushed into her as deep as he could, ignoring her protests and erupting into her unprotected womb.
The second time, he fucked her from behind, with the false promise that he would pull out. Again, he held her tight, pushed into her balls deep, and let it all go into her. Already, she was protesting less, a primal feeling beginning to awaken in her, an instinctive need she didn’t know she had.
The third time, he fucked her doggy style, holding her arms and pushing into her as he came. Even less protest this time, she found herself pushing back toward him, trying to take him deeper as she felt him erupt inside her.
The fourth time, no promises were made. As she felt him start to spasm, she pushed back against him as hard as she could, the hot jets of his cum spurting deep into her womb and triggering her own shuddering orgasm.
Finally, the fifth time he once again allowed her to be in “control,” rising him to completion. This time she slammed down hard on his cock, begging and pleading for his seed, at the critical moment joining him in the throes of intense orgasm. Her training was complete. She ached for the risk as much as he did. Now she was his, to breed over and over again.
PART 7
The dawn breaks. In the new light the first thing my eyes find is you. The soft rays accentuating your curves, caressing your skin. As I do now. With my hands you are now awake. We kiss.
Now my mouth moves away from yours. I am nibbling at your ears. Nuzzling at your neck. My fingers wander to your breasts. Circling your nipples, hard with excitement. I move to suckle on them too. Now my hand moves down further, between your legs. And to my delight I find your slit already slick with the wetness of your excitement. Excitement at what we are to do this morning.
For today is the day you ovulate. And we do not want to waste any time
Your hands have been busy too. They caress my balls, rub my penis, and now I am fully engorged. It didn’t take long, but we are ready. I hasten to position myself over you, and plunge between your labia and into the wonders within.
The wet pleasure of your warmth envelops me. It is our first time bare and the sensations are new. They drive me wild. Your legs wrap around me, beckoning me in further. You let out a low moan.
I start to thrust. Breathing becomes shorter, shallower. I can feel your heartbeat quicken, pulsing in your vaginal wall. I’m quivering. The air is electric with the strength and stench of our passion. I’m losing myself completely within you, until with one word you bring me back.
“Faster”, your eyes beg. I nod. It’s all I can manage. I lean back and bring your legs up onto my shoulders. I thrust again. And again.
I’m pushing deeper and faster than ever before. Your moans are coming more louder now. Building to a crescendo. Your breasts bouncing in rhythm. I’m lost, hopelessly lost. Grunting. Straining with every movement. And now your moans are screams.
Your eyes roll back. Your back arches. And now your body is convulsing in ecstasy. It pushes me over the edge. With one final thrust I plunge to the hilt within you.
Once, twice, thrice - I shudder as the power of my orgasm runs through me. Spilling each spurt of semen deeply. With pleasure you feel the warmth of my ejaculate as it spreads within you, pooling around your cervix at the opening to your womb.
Spent, we fold into each other’s arms and doze. Waiting until the new day has fully begun. And waiting for my sperm to reach your egg. Waiting for the beginning of a new life.
Now my mouth moves away from yours. I am nibbling at your ears. Nuzzling at your neck. My fingers wander to your breasts. Circling your nipples, hard with excitement. I move to suckle on them too. Now my hand moves down further, between your legs. And to my delight I find your slit already slick with the wetness of your excitement. Excitement at what we are to do this morning.
For today is the day you ovulate. And we do not want to waste any time
Your hands have been busy too. They caress my balls, rub my penis, and now I am fully engorged. It didn’t take long, but we are ready. I hasten to position myself over you, and plunge between your labia and into the wonders within.
The wet pleasure of your warmth envelops me. It is our first time bare and the sensations are new. They drive me wild. Your legs wrap around me, beckoning me in further. You let out a low moan.
I start to thrust. Breathing becomes shorter, shallower. I can feel your heartbeat quicken, pulsing in your vaginal wall. I’m quivering. The air is electric with the strength and stench of our passion. I’m losing myself completely within you, until with one word you bring me back.
“Faster”, your eyes beg. I nod. It’s all I can manage. I lean back and bring your legs up onto my shoulders. I thrust again. And again.
I’m pushing deeper and faster than ever before. Your moans are coming more louder now. Building to a crescendo. Your breasts bouncing in rhythm. I’m lost, hopelessly lost. Grunting. Straining with every movement. And now your moans are screams.
Your eyes roll back. Your back arches. And now your body is convulsing in ecstasy. It pushes me over the edge. With one final thrust I plunge to the hilt within you.
Once, twice, thrice - I shudder as the power of my orgasm runs through me. Spilling each spurt of semen deeply. With pleasure you feel the warmth of my ejaculate as it spreads within you, pooling around your cervix at the opening to your womb.
Spent, we fold into each other’s arms and doze. Waiting until the new day has fully begun. And waiting for my sperm to reach your egg. Waiting for the beginning of a new life.
PART 8
You had a feeling this would happen. He never called unless he wanted sex. Which was fine with you because he also made sure to use protection, but when you walked in and he instantly grabbed you by the throat and kissed you then started ripping your clothes off without hesitation. You always liked being dominated so it only added to your intense horniness. After he stripped you completely he picked your little body up and took you to the bedroom throwing you on the bed and threw himself between your legs. He’s never done this before it was always just sex. He was so good the way he sucked your clit and shoved his tongue inside. It had you moaning so loud you had to cover your mouth to muffle it some, not that it helped much.
But the big part was when he pulled off his belt and took your hands tied them up with it and spread your legs again and shoved inside without hesitation and without anything on. He felt so much better and you knew it. He didn’t hold back fucking you harder than you probably ever have by anyone.
He fucked you for what felt like forever and you lost count at how many times you came all over him but he undid the belt and moved you onto his lap and started bouncing you up and down on him and it was then you knew what he was doing. All the random questions about your period. Your family when they’ve gotten pregnant. He was putting together when the best time would be, and you’re period ending exactly two weeks ago today made so much sense. He was trying to knock you up tonight and you wanted to protest but it felt way to good and the risk felt even greater. Just at that thought you came again soaking him up and he threw his hand on your clit rubbing hard as he sunk you down all the way moaning hard as he started growing inside you twitching harder and harder as he came deep inside your little pussy. There was no way you were getting out of this one. It was happening so you might as well enjoy it.
You made him stay through the night and fill your stomach up with as many loads as he could build up.And within a few months you are gonna be happy and slowly growing
But the big part was when he pulled off his belt and took your hands tied them up with it and spread your legs again and shoved inside without hesitation and without anything on. He felt so much better and you knew it. He didn’t hold back fucking you harder than you probably ever have by anyone.
He fucked you for what felt like forever and you lost count at how many times you came all over him but he undid the belt and moved you onto his lap and started bouncing you up and down on him and it was then you knew what he was doing. All the random questions about your period. Your family when they’ve gotten pregnant. He was putting together when the best time would be, and you’re period ending exactly two weeks ago today made so much sense. He was trying to knock you up tonight and you wanted to protest but it felt way to good and the risk felt even greater. Just at that thought you came again soaking him up and he threw his hand on your clit rubbing hard as he sunk you down all the way moaning hard as he started growing inside you twitching harder and harder as he came deep inside your little pussy. There was no way you were getting out of this one. It was happening so you might as well enjoy it.
You made him stay through the night and fill your stomach up with as many loads as he could build up.And within a few months you are gonna be happy and slowly growing
PART 9
“Pussy.” She’s giving the only proper answer to the question, “Do you know where I’m going to shoot my load?” Especially when she’s pulled off the condom and thrown it on the floor already.
By far this is my favorite position to pound and fill a pussy. Her wide-open legs demonstrate that she knows her purpose. With one or both feet on the ground I can pound her as hard as I want, slapping my balls against her with each thrust, and bouncing her and her tits around the sofa. She has a fine view of her pussy serving its purpose and stretched around my cock, milking it. Finally I can watch her expression as I stop thrusting, bury the tip of my cock against her cervix, and she knows she’s seconds away from being inseminated.
PART 10
Her hands trailed up and down her torso, nails gently tickling the soft skin. She imagined they were his hands, that he was kneeling above her, palms exploring her body as she squirmed beneath him. She bit her lip as her fingers ran over her breasts, aching to feel his callused fingers on her nipples. A soft cry escaped her lips as she pinched them, her back arching slightly. She wished he was here, so that his mouth could kiss them.
She moved her hands down her body and across her thighs, teasing herself the way she knew he would. A contented sigh escaped her lips as her a single finger brushed across her slit. Fuck, she was wet. So much wetter than she thought. “Baby,” she whispered, picturing him between her legs, her thighs thrown over his shoulders and his breath blowing over her scorching core. “Baby I need you,”.
When her fingers circled her clit, a bolt of pleasure shot up her spine and she gasped loudly. Her body always became hypersensitive whenever she was ovulating, with the sensitivity of her nether regions increasing tenfold. All she wanted right now was for his hard cock to be pumping away at her pussy, but for now, her fingers would have to suffice.
She lost herself in her fantasy, legs spread wide in the air as she shoved two fingers into her pussy, pressing them against her walls and raking them along her g-spot. The flat of her palm roughly brushed across her clit with each thrust. “Fuck me, baby!” she cried. All she needed right now was his thick, veiny cock to be sliding in and out of her fertile pussy and filling her with cum, making her deepest wish come true.
They had never discussed this fantasy of hers, mostly because she was too embarrassed to admit it. She would always change the subject whenever the conversation veered too close for comfort. Right now though, her body was producing an obscene amount of wetness from the thought of him blowing his load inside her and knocking her up. She couldn’t help but moan loudly at the thought of him bending her in two, her wrists pinned above her head as he drove himself into her, “Fuuuck, baby I’m so close!” she panted, “Cum in me…get me pregnant…baby I want you to make me pregnant….OHHH!”. Her hips lifted off the bed as an orgasm was ripped out of her.
“Do you really want me to?”. She gasped at the sound of his voice, eyes snapping open to see him leaning against the doorframe, a curious look on his face.
Oh shit, she thought.
———————————————
He’d managed to get off work early today and was going to surprise her with a dinner date. He let himself into their shared apartment and was greeted by the sounds of her soft moans. He smiled inwardly at the thought of her pleasuring herself.
Silently, he made his way over to their bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, watching her intently. She looked beautiful; her chest flushed pink, hair splayed across the bed and fingers buried in her dripping pussy. Even from this distance, he could see how wet she was. The smell of her arousal, coupled with the sloppy sounds of her fingers sliding in and out of her sex was enough to have his cock hard in seconds. The words pouring from her mouth, though, were the icing on the cake.
“Cum in me!” she was saying, “I want you to get me pregnant….”
Though she had never explicitly said so, he’d always had a sneaking suspicion that pregnancy risk sex turned her on. Here was his confirmation. He palmed himself through his pants at he watched her cum all over her fingers. He spoke - with a surprisingly clear voice - as she came down from her high, “Do you really want me to?”.
A panicked look crossed her face when she caught sight of him. “Babe!” she squeaked, “I…I didn’t think you were coming home so soon…I…” her voice trailed off as he stalked towards her. Her lip trembled.
“Babydoll, why did you never tell me?” he asked softly, coming to stand before her. She hung her head and sighed.
“Because I thought you might be freaked out by it,” she admitted.
“Freaked out? Fuck no! Babe,” he said, “Honey, look at me,”. Her eyes lifted to meet his, “Look at what you’ve done to me,”. Her eyes travelled down his body and widened when they saw the bulge in his pants.
“You…?”
“I want this to, baby, I want this to,” he said, voice low and husky.
With a coy smile on her face, she lay back down, “Then take me,” she replied.
He growled, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and sliding off his work trousers, before crawling between her legs. She lifted them up in the air and he grabbed her calves, gently nipping on one, then the other, before hooking both over his shoulders. He hunkered down, so that she was bent in half, and kissed her nose.
“You sure you want this?” he asked.
She looped her arms around his neck and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, “Surer than anything I’ve ever been sure about,” she quipped, a carnal hunger in her eyes. He guided his length along her slick folds, coating the shaft with her wetness.
“You’re so wet for me, baby,” he murmured. She bit her lip and nodded.
Unable to wait any longer, he took himself in hand and pushed himself into her, burying himself to the hilt. She clutched at his back and moaned loudly as he speared her open. His thrusts started off slow and shallow, giving her time to accommodate his length. Soon enough, her nails were digging into his back and he increased his pace, slamming his manhood into her as deep as he could go.
“Fuck!” she squealed, as the head of his cock raked across spots within her that she could never reach on her own, “Baby…I…oh you feel so good,” she whimpered.
He grunted in agreement, his brain incapable of making coherent speech at this point. Her head was thrown back, exposing her delicate neck to him. He sucked and nibbled at the sensitive skin there, moaning in approval as her walls fluttered around him in response.
She laced her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck and he hummed appreciatively, sucking fiercely at the hollow of her throat. Their combined moans, grunts and cries of ecstasy bounced off the walls of their room, punctuated by the wet sounds of skin slapping against skin.
“M’ close,” he growled, “You want me to cum in you?”
In response, her hands slid down his back and dug into his ass, drawing him deeper. Her legs hooked around his waist, locking him in. He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him, maintaining the attention of her lust-filled, heavy-lidded eyes. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he murmured.
“Want…I…want you…to c-c-cum in…me,” she managed to pant, “….and…get me…pregnant,”.
“You want me to knock you up? Want to get pregnant with my baby?”. He was losing it now, teetering on the brink of orgasm, hammering his hips into her pelvis as fast as he could, chasing his release.
She came with a loud cry, her walls clamping down on his cock. The sensation of her velvet slickness flexing and fluttering around his length was all too much and with a guttural grunt, he plunged his cock in as deep as he could manage, as it twitched and throbbed, painting her insides white. He growled with relief as the contents of his balls emptied themselves into her waiting womb.
Her fingers trailed up his sides and cupped his face, bringing him in for a kiss as they came off their joint high. “That was amazing,” she whispered. He nodded in agreement, too breathless to muster up words.
“So amazing, I want to do it again,”. Her hot breath tickled his ear and he let out a groan.
“Gimme…gimme time to catch my breath…” he panted. The smile he got in return was priceless.
PART 11
Well, here they were. After weeks of wisely trying to avoid having straight-up in-and-out sex by trading oral favors, mutually masturbating, and teasing handjobs, they had given in to the temptation to bring his uncovered, very erect cock really close to her unprotected opening. Without saying a word, he started pressing his member up against her groin at first, stimulating both of them, and then slowly moved himself until his head was pushing at her labia.
“Stop,” she had whispered, not wanting anything to proceed from there, hoping to avoid the danger. He froze, not moving, but also not letting up on his pressure against her fun hole which felt so wonderful and inviting. They stayed there for several minutes, looking into each other’s eyes, chemicals and excitement and lust gushing through both of their bodies. Finally, he started pushing harder at her opening, and this time, she said nothing. She no longer had the power to resist. He figured that she had changed her mind about stopping, and so he pushed himself inside…
Now they were fucking, in earnest, at a healthy, relaxing pace. It was pure bliss and enjoyment for both of them. Why had they avoided doing this for so long?
The inevitable was about to occur. It would start to feel really, really good for both of them, and then his pace would quicken. They would keep rutting at each other with increasing intensity until the point of no return, when they would start playing the risk game, a game that neither of them had really wanted to play a few minutes ago, but that they were going to play anyway.
It felt too good to avoid playing now. They both needed the pleasure. Nothing else in life seemed to matter.
“Stop,” she had whispered, not wanting anything to proceed from there, hoping to avoid the danger. He froze, not moving, but also not letting up on his pressure against her fun hole which felt so wonderful and inviting. They stayed there for several minutes, looking into each other’s eyes, chemicals and excitement and lust gushing through both of their bodies. Finally, he started pushing harder at her opening, and this time, she said nothing. She no longer had the power to resist. He figured that she had changed her mind about stopping, and so he pushed himself inside…
Now they were fucking, in earnest, at a healthy, relaxing pace. It was pure bliss and enjoyment for both of them. Why had they avoided doing this for so long?
The inevitable was about to occur. It would start to feel really, really good for both of them, and then his pace would quicken. They would keep rutting at each other with increasing intensity until the point of no return, when they would start playing the risk game, a game that neither of them had really wanted to play a few minutes ago, but that they were going to play anyway.
It felt too good to avoid playing now. They both needed the pleasure. Nothing else in life seemed to matter.
PART 12
You’re really asking me for a sperm donation?” Her best friend laughs, raising an eyebrow as he sits on her couch while she’s pacing around nervously, biting her lip as she nods slightly. “You know that I want kids and… I don’t want to wait any longer.” She says before she sits down next to him, looking at him with her innocent big brown eyes. He sighs deeply, running his fingers through his hair before he smiles at her. “Fine. But then we’re going to do this right way.” He says, quickly pulling her on his lap before his lips meet hers and she gasps but quickly melts into the kiss. “You sure?” She whispers and he chuckles and nods, carrying her upstairs. They couldn’t get undressed fast enough, both of them not being able to keep their hands of each other. Their lips weren’t leaving each other, their tongues swirling around and they moan as their naked bodies finally collide, losing themselves in pleasure. Her pussy is soaking wet, she seems to love the touch of a real man and it was easy for him to slip his cock inside. She is on top of him, her lips constantly locked with his as their hips meet, the sound of their moans and skin slapping against each other filling the room. It didn’t take long for them to get closer to the edge and they orgasm at the same time, his potent seed filling her womb, making her belly bulge slightly and as he slowly pulls out, his cum is leaking out of her. The two lines on her pregnancy test two weeks later only led to another round of hot steaming sex.
PART 13
No condoms and the middle of her cycle we find a way to enjoy each other. Kissing leads to intense hand play. She’s definitely fertile, her pussy is soaked. I can see in her face, my fingers are working her clit and pussy to orgasm. She can see in my face her hand is rapidly bringing precum coated cock to orgasm.
We meet eyes, realizing we’ve never orgasmed together before and it might be happening shortly. Breath shortening, hearts racing, minds fighting primal urges.
I watch her, soon to be convulsing on the bed in pleasure. She watches me, knowing I will stiffen and explode.
Never simultaneously.
How amazing would it be to explode together, for the first time. But we can’t. She can’t get pregnant. But how amazing would it be to scream in ecstasy together, orgasming as one on the bed? Are we ready for a baby? Is this how we are to bring a child into the world…..
As she is moments away, pulling on me harder, spreading her legs farther apart.
Bliss and impending pleasure blinds our rational thoughts as I lean forward and she raises her hips, allowing me to penetrate her pussy at the exact moment our orgasms hit. We wrap our arms and legs around each other, spasming on the bed, enjoy our first mutual orgasm as semen explodes into her fertile womb.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
POETRY: TODAY I SAW A FACE, NOT JUST ANY FACE.....YOUR FACE
Let your heart feel the warmth of my
hands touching your face, my lips softly
kissing yours, my arms about you.
I whisper softly so that only your ears
hear what my heart is saying, I love you,
I need you, and I want you with all that is in me.
I need you, to hold and to be held by you,
I see in your beautiful eyes, the reflection
of the love you give to me.
You shall never leave my heart nor yours to
feel alone or grow cold, and both our hearts
to stay warm and as one.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
The need for you comes from my heart,
today, tomorrow and always.
2
Stealing my heart was so easy for you
True love was the fantasy, only you could make true
Love was transparent, like charcoal steam
You were the one cut out of my dreams.
You were the one who woke me from sleep
And stole my heart with love so deep
You opened the door to a love so dense
And cared not for the cost and expense.
You grasped me from darkness, not a moment too soon
And displayed a love so pure and perfectly in tune
The light in your soul was impossible to avoid
Hate you banished... Fear you destroyed.
The day I met you the loss of love was quenched
My soul, once so dry, was instantly drenched
Please, you must never forget
All that was destined for us the day we met.
3
I've seen the glowing fragrance of those eyes; nothing is there in this world except those eyes full of love. Let love remain love alone, touch not with hand to it give a name of relationship. Love is only a feeling to be felt through the soul; It is not words, it's not voice but only silence that flows through the ages. It neither stops nor slows down nor extinguishes ever; a drop of divine light that fills your entire world. Eyes keep smiling with shadows of hope; lips speak nothing but on the trembling lips; many silent dreams dance. Love is only a feeling to be felt through the soul. Let love remain love alone don't give it a name of relationship.4I've seen the glowing fragrance of those eyes; nothing is there in this world except those eyes full of love. Let love remain love alone, touch not with hand to it give a name of relationship. Love is only a feeling to be felt through the soul; It is not words, it's not voice but only silence that flows through the ages. It neither stops nor slows down nor extinguishes ever; a drop of divine light that fills your entire world. Eyes keep smiling with shadows of hope; lips speak nothing but on the trembling lips; many silent dreams dance. Love is only a feeling to be felt through the soul. Let love remain love alone don't give it a name of relationship.5Today i saw a face, not just any face, your face: pure unadulterated beauty. A face that has haunted me for what seems like a thousand years. A face that has kept me warm during the coldest of winters and cool in the flames of summer! This face touches me deeper than anyone has ever cared to drill. This face has brought me up from the abyss to a light that shines bright like the sun! Because of this face I know love with no boundaries. When I saw this face I knew love beyond doubt. Today I saw your face.
Monday, October 30, 2017
DATING: REAL LOVE VS FAKE LOVE
Fake love is the immediate chemistry. We all know what that is - the chemical rush of horniness that can last from three weeks to a year and a half and then "Poof!" it's gone.
The onset of real love and fake love can feel very similar. It's obsessive - you can't think about anything else, and you might lose weight, sleep, or time. However, when it's fake love, you are both only projecting fantasies and assuming things about each other. You can't see future problems because you are both idealizing all of each other's qualities and insisting that the other person is the best you've ever met. However, you haven't actually "met" them. You are only seeing an idealized version of that person.
Real love evolves into service. You see, fake love is all about how the other person makes you feel. Real love is about your commitment to making someone else feel good. Real love involves two people focusing on the needs of each other and doing loving acts over and over again without anyone keeping score. That's why fake love ends up being such a bummer and a letdown - you hit a wall because all you're thinking about is how you feel.
So many woman wants their fierce chemical attraction to continually persist throughout the course of the entire relationship, or they fears they will find themself losing interest. This made first dates difficult , because if that woman didn’t feel that spark right off the bat, dude was getting friend-zoned and she was gonna keep it moving.
But this weekend I had a moment of clarity that made me question my unwavering support of her relationship worldview. My epiphany came after the Season two of Aziz Ansari’s brilliant Netflix series, Master of None. I must admit that one of the most compelling story lines of the entire season was the sexual-tension-laced-friendship between Dev (Ansari) and his Italian crush Francesca (Alessandra Mastronardi).
While we never see the exact moment they first meet, you can tell that their connection was organic and far more piercing than either expected it to be. Although she was engaged throughout the course of their friendship, their bond was clearly undeniable. Both tried their damnedest to avoid developing feelings for one another. After Dev finally reveals that he wants to be more than friends and she pretty much shuts him down, he had a conversation with his best friend Arnold (Eric Wareheim) that was harsh, but offered an incredibly profound insight: “Your relationship probably wasn’t gonna be this magical fantasy that’s in your head. It’s probably gonna be a sh*t show.”
In that moment, so many thoughts of relationships past began to run through my head. As a former “spark addict,” not only did I vividly remember my own skewed expectations of what a healthy emotional median was for myself, but I also remembered the unfair burden I placed on women to live up to some unrealistic emotional median. To use “sparks” as the thing that undergirded my past relationships was flat out stupid. Why? Because it came at the cost of ignoring practicality and the other benefits of a long-term relationship that are—in some ways—more substantive than an off-the-hook spark. In fact, maintaining the belief that women owed it to me to continually nurture such a connection was a downright selfish demand of inhuman perfection.
I am in no way saying that chemistry isn’t important. Nor am I advising anyone on how they should conduct their relationship. But for those people who may be like I once was and like my homegirl currently is—out here chasing sparks, maybe my own cognition can help you out in some way.
Sparks are awesome but, for me, they aren’t the main priority. I realize that by creating the expectation that my wife will always be in a mental, emotional and spiritual place to provide passion is far too laborious of a request. Life happens, things change, passion subsides and reignites and if your bond isn’t reinforced by something firmer than sparks, your relationship may be in some serious danger.
But this weekend I had a moment of clarity that made me question my unwavering support of her relationship worldview. My epiphany came after the Season two of Aziz Ansari’s brilliant Netflix series, Master of None. I must admit that one of the most compelling story lines of the entire season was the sexual-tension-laced-friendship between Dev (Ansari) and his Italian crush Francesca (Alessandra Mastronardi).
While we never see the exact moment they first meet, you can tell that their connection was organic and far more piercing than either expected it to be. Although she was engaged throughout the course of their friendship, their bond was clearly undeniable. Both tried their damnedest to avoid developing feelings for one another. After Dev finally reveals that he wants to be more than friends and she pretty much shuts him down, he had a conversation with his best friend Arnold (Eric Wareheim) that was harsh, but offered an incredibly profound insight: “Your relationship probably wasn’t gonna be this magical fantasy that’s in your head. It’s probably gonna be a sh*t show.”
In that moment, so many thoughts of relationships past began to run through my head. As a former “spark addict,” not only did I vividly remember my own skewed expectations of what a healthy emotional median was for myself, but I also remembered the unfair burden I placed on women to live up to some unrealistic emotional median. To use “sparks” as the thing that undergirded my past relationships was flat out stupid. Why? Because it came at the cost of ignoring practicality and the other benefits of a long-term relationship that are—in some ways—more substantive than an off-the-hook spark. In fact, maintaining the belief that women owed it to me to continually nurture such a connection was a downright selfish demand of inhuman perfection.
I am in no way saying that chemistry isn’t important. Nor am I advising anyone on how they should conduct their relationship. But for those people who may be like I once was and like my homegirl currently is—out here chasing sparks, maybe my own cognition can help you out in some way.
Sparks are awesome but, for me, they aren’t the main priority. I realize that by creating the expectation that my wife will always be in a mental, emotional and spiritual place to provide passion is far too laborious of a request. Life happens, things change, passion subsides and reignites and if your bond isn’t reinforced by something firmer than sparks, your relationship may be in some serious danger.
DATING: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CASUAL DATING AND SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
Recently someone wanted to enter into a relationship with me...but a casual one? WTF? I never wanted a casual relationship. I always wanted a serious relationship. My intention has always been to settle down and have kids. You can't say you want the same thing and yet have a casual relationship.
Is there really a difference between casual dating and a committed relationship?
Before deciding on whether to seek serious or casual relationships take some time to think about what you truly want. If you could rub a magic lamp and get the any relationship you desired, what would it look like? Would you want the excitement of running from one woman to the next? Or would you want that one steady, reliable girl who’s devoted only to you? There’s no right answer here, the point is to get clear on exactly what it is you want. That way you can go out and get it.
In order to be in a committed relationship, both you and your partner need to agree to be “serious” with one another. You are solely focused on one another. You are not “dating” anyone else. In the majority of cases, couples that are in a serious, committed relationship are interested in a possible future together (i.e. marriage, children and/or a long-term romantic partnership). In other others, you need to invest your time, energy, love, support and affection towards your partner. When you enter into a serious, committed relationship, your main goal is to develop a strong foundation that will last throughout time. A committed couple trusts, respects, loves, supports, values and uplifts one another. This couple communicates and sees each other on a regular basis. They are also heavily involved in each other’s lives.
In order to be in a committed relationship, both you and your partner need to agree to be “serious” with one another. You are solely focused on one another. You are not “dating” anyone else. In the majority of cases, couples that are in a serious, committed relationship are interested in a possible future together (i.e. marriage, children and/or a long-term romantic partnership). In other others, you need to invest your time, energy, love, support and affection towards your partner. When you enter into a serious, committed relationship, your main goal is to develop a strong foundation that will last throughout time. A committed couple trusts, respects, loves, supports, values and uplifts one another. This couple communicates and sees each other on a regular basis. They are also heavily involved in each other’s lives.
The difference between dating and being in a relationship is commitment. If you are going out with someone on a regular basis, and you and your partner have agreed to date only one another, then you are in a committed relationship. However, if you are dating a person and neither of you have agreed to date exclusively, then you are not in a relationship and you are both free to also date other people. One of the main differences between a serious, committed relationship and “causal dating” is that individuals in a committed relationship tend to be monogamous. In other words, you do not “date” other people. In a “casual dating” relationship, you are not required to be monogamous. In fact, you can date multiple people, if you so choose or you can just date each other. Moreover, “casual dating” may or may not include sex
The thing about casual dating is for it to work it must go both ways. You can’t give yourself complete freedom to date other women yet force the girl to be exclusive only to you. This creates an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship that’s more about control than anything else. It’s the type of arrangement that’s likely to create a lot of drama before it comes crashing down. So before you start looking for casual relationships ask yourself, are you really okay with the women you date going out and potentially sleeping with other guys? If so, then go ahead and enjoy your casual relationships. If not, it’s a red flag that casual dating isn’t for you. I know for me...that is not what I am looking for. I can not handle that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once you know what kind of relationship you want, let your intentions be known. Within the first date #1 – talk to the girl about what you’re each looking for in a relationship. You don’t have to go into much detail but it’s a good idea to ask something like “So are you more of the causal dating or serious relationship kind of girl?” To make sure she doesn’t feel any pressure when answering this question you may want to go first and let her know what it is you’re looking for. You may lose a few girls rather quickly this way (don’t be surprised if some girls say they’re not looking for anything serious, yet mysteriously stop calling after this conversation), but that’s exactly the point. You’re filtering out women who aren’t compatible with what you want. This will save a lot of headache and frustration down the road. You won’t waste days, weeks, or even months trying to force a relationship that was doomed from the start. Instead, you’ll be free to find the girl who fit your lifestyle.
You don’t want to find yourself “casually dating” a girl yet behaving as you would if you were in a serious, committed relationship. Doing so would get things real complicated, real quick. So if you’re casually dating a girl be sure to avoid “boyfriend” type behavior. Don’t call or text her nearly every day. Don’t have her meet the family, or regularly invite her to be your date for special events. Actions like these can blur the lines of your relationship and send mixed signals, planting the thought in her mind that the relationship is becoming more serious. If you don’t want her thinking that way and are not interested in having her as a serious girlfriend, then avoid giving her a taste of that role.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
PERSONAL: WE ORBIT AROUND EACH OTHER
How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you’ll never meet them. All right, so we do the best we can. Granted. But we must still realize that love is just the result of a chance encounter
We orbit around each other like this:
i cannot cry unless it is your hands around my waist
and your lips soothing the hectic jumps of my pulse.
I am my weakest when i am with you,
and it is this mixture of thrill and fear
that i don’t know what to make of.
You tell me that i look extra beautiful on a certain day,
that that shirt or this is good on me,
that green bring out the blue in my eyes
and i don’t know what to do with myself when this happens.
I keep wanting you closer, more you please.
More everything that is you and less anything
that is the rest of the world because they don’t know
what it is like to find a home where your heart
fits better than it ever will in its place in your chest.
This is the solar system of you and me
where both of us are planets and there is no one larger than life;
no sun and moon, just you and me,
two dark planets looking for home.
This is the place where our lighthouse is each others’ souls.
I am so scared of you, but i love you.
I think it might be enough.
We orbit around each other like this:
i cannot cry unless it is your hands around my waist
and your lips soothing the hectic jumps of my pulse.
I am my weakest when i am with you,
and it is this mixture of thrill and fear
that i don’t know what to make of.
You tell me that i look extra beautiful on a certain day,
that that shirt or this is good on me,
that green bring out the blue in my eyes
and i don’t know what to do with myself when this happens.
I keep wanting you closer, more you please.
More everything that is you and less anything
that is the rest of the world because they don’t know
what it is like to find a home where your heart
fits better than it ever will in its place in your chest.
This is the solar system of you and me
where both of us are planets and there is no one larger than life;
no sun and moon, just you and me,
two dark planets looking for home.
This is the place where our lighthouse is each others’ souls.
I am so scared of you, but i love you.
I think it might be enough.
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