Recently someone wanted to enter into a relationship with me...but a casual one? WTF? I never wanted a casual relationship. I always wanted a serious relationship. My intention has always been to settle down and have kids. You can't say you want the same thing and yet have a casual relationship.
Is there really a difference between casual dating and a committed relationship?
Before deciding on whether to seek serious or casual relationships take some time to think about what you truly want. If you could rub a magic lamp and get the any relationship you desired, what would it look like? Would you want the excitement of running from one woman to the next? Or would you want that one steady, reliable girl who’s devoted only to you? There’s no right answer here, the point is to get clear on exactly what it is you want. That way you can go out and get it.
In order to be in a committed relationship, both you and your partner need to agree to be “serious” with one another. You are solely focused on one another. You are not “dating” anyone else. In the majority of cases, couples that are in a serious, committed relationship are interested in a possible future together (i.e. marriage, children and/or a long-term romantic partnership). In other others, you need to invest your time, energy, love, support and affection towards your partner. When you enter into a serious, committed relationship, your main goal is to develop a strong foundation that will last throughout time. A committed couple trusts, respects, loves, supports, values and uplifts one another. This couple communicates and sees each other on a regular basis. They are also heavily involved in each other’s lives.
In order to be in a committed relationship, both you and your partner need to agree to be “serious” with one another. You are solely focused on one another. You are not “dating” anyone else. In the majority of cases, couples that are in a serious, committed relationship are interested in a possible future together (i.e. marriage, children and/or a long-term romantic partnership). In other others, you need to invest your time, energy, love, support and affection towards your partner. When you enter into a serious, committed relationship, your main goal is to develop a strong foundation that will last throughout time. A committed couple trusts, respects, loves, supports, values and uplifts one another. This couple communicates and sees each other on a regular basis. They are also heavily involved in each other’s lives.
The difference between dating and being in a relationship is commitment. If you are going out with someone on a regular basis, and you and your partner have agreed to date only one another, then you are in a committed relationship. However, if you are dating a person and neither of you have agreed to date exclusively, then you are not in a relationship and you are both free to also date other people. One of the main differences between a serious, committed relationship and “causal dating” is that individuals in a committed relationship tend to be monogamous. In other words, you do not “date” other people. In a “casual dating” relationship, you are not required to be monogamous. In fact, you can date multiple people, if you so choose or you can just date each other. Moreover, “casual dating” may or may not include sex
The thing about casual dating is for it to work it must go both ways. You can’t give yourself complete freedom to date other women yet force the girl to be exclusive only to you. This creates an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship that’s more about control than anything else. It’s the type of arrangement that’s likely to create a lot of drama before it comes crashing down. So before you start looking for casual relationships ask yourself, are you really okay with the women you date going out and potentially sleeping with other guys? If so, then go ahead and enjoy your casual relationships. If not, it’s a red flag that casual dating isn’t for you. I know for me...that is not what I am looking for. I can not handle that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once you know what kind of relationship you want, let your intentions be known. Within the first date #1 – talk to the girl about what you’re each looking for in a relationship. You don’t have to go into much detail but it’s a good idea to ask something like “So are you more of the causal dating or serious relationship kind of girl?” To make sure she doesn’t feel any pressure when answering this question you may want to go first and let her know what it is you’re looking for. You may lose a few girls rather quickly this way (don’t be surprised if some girls say they’re not looking for anything serious, yet mysteriously stop calling after this conversation), but that’s exactly the point. You’re filtering out women who aren’t compatible with what you want. This will save a lot of headache and frustration down the road. You won’t waste days, weeks, or even months trying to force a relationship that was doomed from the start. Instead, you’ll be free to find the girl who fit your lifestyle.
You don’t want to find yourself “casually dating” a girl yet behaving as you would if you were in a serious, committed relationship. Doing so would get things real complicated, real quick. So if you’re casually dating a girl be sure to avoid “boyfriend” type behavior. Don’t call or text her nearly every day. Don’t have her meet the family, or regularly invite her to be your date for special events. Actions like these can blur the lines of your relationship and send mixed signals, planting the thought in her mind that the relationship is becoming more serious. If you don’t want her thinking that way and are not interested in having her as a serious girlfriend, then avoid giving her a taste of that role.
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