Sunday, May 4, 2014
Saturday, May 3, 2014
PERSONAL: YOU DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE ME
You deserve someone like me. You deserve love and security, a combination that warms the core of your heart. You deserve knowledge that the person you are with wants to be there and, more importantly, won’t run away when times get tough. This is someone that will stay by your side, fight your fights right there with you because they know you would do the same for them.
You deserve someone who laughs at your jokes and smiles at the mere sight of you smiling. This smile will be genuine, not fake, and you will feel butterflies when you see it and your smile will grow until your cheeks can no longer take it.
You deserve someone who brings you coffee in the morning because they know the addiction is real. You deserve breakfast in bed, flowers “just because,” and hugs that feel like you are at home.
You deserve hands that only reach for you. They may be dry, cracked, calloused, perfectly manicured, or a complete mess, but they know you, your hands, and your body. They don’t reach away to know more.
You deserve someone who doesn’t make you cry, at least on purpose, because you are human and you feel deeply and love passionately, and when one teardrop falls there may be a thousand more, but you are not alone. Even though they hurt you, they hold you until the shaking stops, wiping away your tears and kissing your damp cheeks although you whisper for them to stop. They will say sorry and you will feign being mad until you both give in to happiness again because you know anger is a state the two of you cannot remain in.
You deserve someone who takes responsibility for their mistakes and who apologizes for the times they unintentionally hurt you because you would do the same for them. You deserve someone who can forgive as you do, even if neither of you can completely forget.
You deserve someone whose touch feels like fireworks across your skin, whose eyes always look for yours when they enter a room, and whose heart never yearns for the attention of another.
You deserve trust that may waver but never entirely falter. It will look nothing like control. It will look like freedom but with your best friend by your side holding your hand. There will be moments of jealousy, but these will be outweighed by smiles, laughter, trust, and love.
You deserve back rubs for no reason, dinner you don’t have to make alone, a hand to hold, a heart to feel, and a person who cannot imagine life without you in it.
You Can't Forget That You Deserve Kindness, I can give you that. Too It's not selfish to accept selfless kindness and selfless love.
You deserve security just as much as you deserve spontaneity. You will be comfortable but not so settled down that stubborn roots no longer give you the nutrients you need to grow. This person you are with will try the things you enjoy and you will try the things they do as well. You will find new things to do and new places to go because you both love to share these sorts of moments together.
You deserve someone who pushes you to be better, to seek out the best opportunities for you even if the next step is terrifying for you both.
You deserve chocolate when you are cranky, a partner to indulge in your guilty television pleasures, and someone who tries to kiss you even though they just watched you puke up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is the person who laughs when you correct their grammar instead of getting mad, the one who knows they had better text you back, and the person who understands that you will not always have your “A game” out on display.
You deserve someone who wants to be better for you, someone who strives to be better for you, but, most importantly, you deserve someone who wants to be better for themselves. This is the type of person who will grow alongside of you and never dream of holding you back.
You deserve someone who is looking at the big picture in life, and that picture has you in it.
You deserve someone who continues looking forward, someone who doesn’t stop constantly to look at the past. They may not like everything about who you were before, but they love who you have become. They know not to let your past trip them up for too long. You both came into the relationship with baggage that slowly unpacked itself and, even though it would be easy enough to pack up your things and go back to your respective homes, you both stay.
You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, a life that is so beautiful that you cannot tell if you are awake or still in bed dreaming, and someone who doesn’t so much as put one foot out the door because they know you are not the person to walk away from. This will be the person who sticks around through thick and thin because they want to, not because they have to.
You deserve all of this and so much more, and you deserve it for a lifetime WITH ME
You deserve someone who laughs at your jokes and smiles at the mere sight of you smiling. This smile will be genuine, not fake, and you will feel butterflies when you see it and your smile will grow until your cheeks can no longer take it.
You deserve someone who brings you coffee in the morning because they know the addiction is real. You deserve breakfast in bed, flowers “just because,” and hugs that feel like you are at home.
You deserve hands that only reach for you. They may be dry, cracked, calloused, perfectly manicured, or a complete mess, but they know you, your hands, and your body. They don’t reach away to know more.
You deserve someone who doesn’t make you cry, at least on purpose, because you are human and you feel deeply and love passionately, and when one teardrop falls there may be a thousand more, but you are not alone. Even though they hurt you, they hold you until the shaking stops, wiping away your tears and kissing your damp cheeks although you whisper for them to stop. They will say sorry and you will feign being mad until you both give in to happiness again because you know anger is a state the two of you cannot remain in.
You deserve someone who takes responsibility for their mistakes and who apologizes for the times they unintentionally hurt you because you would do the same for them. You deserve someone who can forgive as you do, even if neither of you can completely forget.
You deserve someone whose touch feels like fireworks across your skin, whose eyes always look for yours when they enter a room, and whose heart never yearns for the attention of another.
You deserve trust that may waver but never entirely falter. It will look nothing like control. It will look like freedom but with your best friend by your side holding your hand. There will be moments of jealousy, but these will be outweighed by smiles, laughter, trust, and love.
You deserve back rubs for no reason, dinner you don’t have to make alone, a hand to hold, a heart to feel, and a person who cannot imagine life without you in it.
You Can't Forget That You Deserve Kindness, I can give you that. Too It's not selfish to accept selfless kindness and selfless love.
You deserve security just as much as you deserve spontaneity. You will be comfortable but not so settled down that stubborn roots no longer give you the nutrients you need to grow. This person you are with will try the things you enjoy and you will try the things they do as well. You will find new things to do and new places to go because you both love to share these sorts of moments together.
You deserve someone who pushes you to be better, to seek out the best opportunities for you even if the next step is terrifying for you both.
You deserve chocolate when you are cranky, a partner to indulge in your guilty television pleasures, and someone who tries to kiss you even though they just watched you puke up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is the person who laughs when you correct their grammar instead of getting mad, the one who knows they had better text you back, and the person who understands that you will not always have your “A game” out on display.
You deserve someone who wants to be better for you, someone who strives to be better for you, but, most importantly, you deserve someone who wants to be better for themselves. This is the type of person who will grow alongside of you and never dream of holding you back.
You deserve someone who is looking at the big picture in life, and that picture has you in it.
You deserve someone who continues looking forward, someone who doesn’t stop constantly to look at the past. They may not like everything about who you were before, but they love who you have become. They know not to let your past trip them up for too long. You both came into the relationship with baggage that slowly unpacked itself and, even though it would be easy enough to pack up your things and go back to your respective homes, you both stay.
You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, a life that is so beautiful that you cannot tell if you are awake or still in bed dreaming, and someone who doesn’t so much as put one foot out the door because they know you are not the person to walk away from. This will be the person who sticks around through thick and thin because they want to, not because they have to.
You deserve all of this and so much more, and you deserve it for a lifetime WITH ME
JOURNAL: TRYING TO LOVE MYSELF
I was raised in a family where outward appearance and reputation were important. No one ever explicitly told me, “What other people think of you is more important than being your true self,” yet that’s what I learned to believe. It became my mission to be accepted by others, because I thought that only then would I be worthy of love.
I spent most of my middle school and high school years pretending to be somebody that I wasn’t. I would “chameleon” to blend in with people around me.
I suspect that due to my less-than-stellar acting skills, a lot of people could tell that I was being phony and didn’t want to hang out with me. This only increased my hunger for external validation and acceptance.
I finally received the honest feedback that would change my life forever:
I showed up as arrogant, selfish, self-righteous, superior, and judgmental.
The feedback hit me like a ton of bricks. I was simultaneously composed and totally shocked.
I was composed because I knew that people experienced me in those ways: I was a condescending know-it-all with judgment by the boatload, and little tolerance for people “doing it the wrong way” (not my way). My demeanor was often cold and closed off, and I could easily insult people where I knew it would hurt.
I was shocked, because when I received that feedback from somebody that I’d met less than six hours earlier, I felt completely vulnerable. I didn’t know what to do with myself in that moment of being completely exposed.
The walls that I’d created to “protect” my authentic self were only pushing (or rather, shoving) everyone else away. I finally decided to make a change. And thus began my journey of rediscovering my true self.
To say that it was a battle would be a grave understatement. The little voice inside my head had gotten really good at convincing me of “truths” that were actually just thoughts based in my false beliefs about reputation and acceptance.
Lying to myself had become such a subconscious process for me that bringing it into my consciousness on a daily basis was a struggle.
Right after receiving the feedback, I’d keep “be authentic” on the forefront of my mind for a few days at a time. But more often than not, my commitment to being authentic would slowly fade behind my decades of pretending to be somebody else, and I often wouldn’t even notice the shift.
When I’d realize that I wasn’t being perfectly authentic, every moment of every day, I’d go into beat-up mode and would berate myself for being a failure.
My new awareness seemed like a game of lose-lose: if I ventured out into authentic living and slipped back into my old ways, I’d go into beat-up mode; if I acted like I was okay with being my pretending old self, I’d feel sick to my stomach about who I was pretending to be. I didn’t know how to win that game.
I spent a couple of years on the rollercoaster ride of stepping out and being authentic, slipping back into my old ways, and beating myself up about it; it was exhausting. But then I learned that personal development isn’t a switch, it’s a journey.
I couldn’t just turn off my old behaviors and turn on some new authentic behaviors.
Creating lasting change would take commitment, practice, and most importantly self-compassion.
Commitment meant truly committing myself to being authentic, and doing it for nobody else but me. And practice meant making conscious choices to set my authentic self free instead of staying in the box I’d built for myself.
The self-compassion piece was the most important because it determined whether or not I wanted to pick myself back up, dust myself off, and give it another go.
If making a mistake was only going to end in me beating myself up about it, then I’d rather not have even attempted it. But if making a mistake was met with a desire to learn, and then re-approach my ways of being in a new way, it was a much easier choice to make.
Throughout my journey of discovering and living as my authentic self, I have experienced moments of immense joy and freedom, which have encouraged me to continue moving forward.
But one day—and I can’t remember exactly when it happened—I just decided to do it. I knew that deep down in my heart I wanted to, so I refused to let that little voice stop me anymore. If people were going to think that being my authentic self was “weird” then so be it!
I wish I could say “and then I shut the little voice up forevermore and lived happily ever after,” but that wouldn’t be true. My little voice was screaming But I just chose to acknowledge the screaming and ignored it anyways.
When I limit myself because of my fear of what others might think of me, I’m limiting what I think of me. When I truly embrace my authentic self, I am free.
Abraham Maslow said, “What is life for? It is for you.”
Most people, at the first sign of distress, would rather deny the hard truth than face it. But the truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored. When you try to ignore it, you will find yourself living a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night. Don’t do this to yourself. Face the facts. You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
The truth will set you free, but first it may tick you off for a while, and that’s OK. It’s always better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. Because the truth hurts only once and then gradually fades, but a lie hurts just as bad every single time you remember you’re living it.
There’s the cold feet pain of moving on ‒ graduating, taking the next step, walking away from the familiar and into the unknown. There’s the sharp growing pains of trial and error, of failing as you learn the best way forward. There’s the immense, dizzying pain of life slapping you in the face when everything you thought you knew wasn’t true, or everything you had planned for falls through.
There are the more ambiguous aches and pains of success, when you actually get what you had hoped for, but then realize that it’s not quite what you had envisioned. And then, from time to time, there are the warm, tingling pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of sweet perfection, a priceless instant of achievement or happiness which you know cannot possibly last, and yet will remain with you forever.
Even though so many folks forget, pain is actually a good thing. It means you’re breathing, and trying, and interacting with the endless possibilities in this world. Pain is for the living only; it’s worth fully accepting and dealing with while you still have a chance.
I spent most of my middle school and high school years pretending to be somebody that I wasn’t. I would “chameleon” to blend in with people around me.
I suspect that due to my less-than-stellar acting skills, a lot of people could tell that I was being phony and didn’t want to hang out with me. This only increased my hunger for external validation and acceptance.
I finally received the honest feedback that would change my life forever:
I showed up as arrogant, selfish, self-righteous, superior, and judgmental.
The feedback hit me like a ton of bricks. I was simultaneously composed and totally shocked.
I was composed because I knew that people experienced me in those ways: I was a condescending know-it-all with judgment by the boatload, and little tolerance for people “doing it the wrong way” (not my way). My demeanor was often cold and closed off, and I could easily insult people where I knew it would hurt.
I was shocked, because when I received that feedback from somebody that I’d met less than six hours earlier, I felt completely vulnerable. I didn’t know what to do with myself in that moment of being completely exposed.
The walls that I’d created to “protect” my authentic self were only pushing (or rather, shoving) everyone else away. I finally decided to make a change. And thus began my journey of rediscovering my true self.
To say that it was a battle would be a grave understatement. The little voice inside my head had gotten really good at convincing me of “truths” that were actually just thoughts based in my false beliefs about reputation and acceptance.
Lying to myself had become such a subconscious process for me that bringing it into my consciousness on a daily basis was a struggle.
Right after receiving the feedback, I’d keep “be authentic” on the forefront of my mind for a few days at a time. But more often than not, my commitment to being authentic would slowly fade behind my decades of pretending to be somebody else, and I often wouldn’t even notice the shift.
When I’d realize that I wasn’t being perfectly authentic, every moment of every day, I’d go into beat-up mode and would berate myself for being a failure.
My new awareness seemed like a game of lose-lose: if I ventured out into authentic living and slipped back into my old ways, I’d go into beat-up mode; if I acted like I was okay with being my pretending old self, I’d feel sick to my stomach about who I was pretending to be. I didn’t know how to win that game.
I spent a couple of years on the rollercoaster ride of stepping out and being authentic, slipping back into my old ways, and beating myself up about it; it was exhausting. But then I learned that personal development isn’t a switch, it’s a journey.
I couldn’t just turn off my old behaviors and turn on some new authentic behaviors.
Creating lasting change would take commitment, practice, and most importantly self-compassion.
Commitment meant truly committing myself to being authentic, and doing it for nobody else but me. And practice meant making conscious choices to set my authentic self free instead of staying in the box I’d built for myself.
The self-compassion piece was the most important because it determined whether or not I wanted to pick myself back up, dust myself off, and give it another go.
If making a mistake was only going to end in me beating myself up about it, then I’d rather not have even attempted it. But if making a mistake was met with a desire to learn, and then re-approach my ways of being in a new way, it was a much easier choice to make.
Throughout my journey of discovering and living as my authentic self, I have experienced moments of immense joy and freedom, which have encouraged me to continue moving forward.
But one day—and I can’t remember exactly when it happened—I just decided to do it. I knew that deep down in my heart I wanted to, so I refused to let that little voice stop me anymore. If people were going to think that being my authentic self was “weird” then so be it!
I wish I could say “and then I shut the little voice up forevermore and lived happily ever after,” but that wouldn’t be true. My little voice was screaming But I just chose to acknowledge the screaming and ignored it anyways.
When I limit myself because of my fear of what others might think of me, I’m limiting what I think of me. When I truly embrace my authentic self, I am free.
Abraham Maslow said, “What is life for? It is for you.”
Most people, at the first sign of distress, would rather deny the hard truth than face it. But the truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored. When you try to ignore it, you will find yourself living a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night. Don’t do this to yourself. Face the facts. You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
The truth will set you free, but first it may tick you off for a while, and that’s OK. It’s always better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. Because the truth hurts only once and then gradually fades, but a lie hurts just as bad every single time you remember you’re living it.
There’s the cold feet pain of moving on ‒ graduating, taking the next step, walking away from the familiar and into the unknown. There’s the sharp growing pains of trial and error, of failing as you learn the best way forward. There’s the immense, dizzying pain of life slapping you in the face when everything you thought you knew wasn’t true, or everything you had planned for falls through.
There are the more ambiguous aches and pains of success, when you actually get what you had hoped for, but then realize that it’s not quite what you had envisioned. And then, from time to time, there are the warm, tingling pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of sweet perfection, a priceless instant of achievement or happiness which you know cannot possibly last, and yet will remain with you forever.
Even though so many folks forget, pain is actually a good thing. It means you’re breathing, and trying, and interacting with the endless possibilities in this world. Pain is for the living only; it’s worth fully accepting and dealing with while you still have a chance.
PERSONAL/JOURNAL/DATING: I WANT SOMEONE TO SHARE THINGS WITH
I used to watch my Disney movies until the tapes no longer worked. I would make my mom read my favorite fairy tales over and over, until I knew the stories by heart. Sometimes I think that these books and movies shaped who I am, and made it so that I’ll always be looking for Princess.The first girl I ever fell in love with was the one I thought I would marry. And that seemed special, until we broke up, and I fell in love again, and it felt like she was the one I was going to marry. I realized that I think I’m going to be with every girlfriend forever because I’m incapable of just “casually seeing someone.” In order for me to be with someone, there always has to be hope, and there always has to be a future. Sometimes I see people around me getting married, and you can tell that they’re not really in love, and they’re doing it for other reasons. I don’t know how to tell them that it kills me to see it, that they deserve better, that we should wait for love. I can’t stand hook-up culture. I think the worst thing that ever happened to our society was the devaluing of love that takes time. I’ve never had a one-night stand, but I don’t think that I physically could. I don’t see the point in being with someone that you don’t actually care about — why not just spend the night alone? People think that I’m weird sometimes for being as romantic as I am. They think that I’m old-fashioned or corny, and I don’t know if they realize that’s not an insult. One of my biggest fears in life is getting divorced and it happen Not because it would be messy, or expensive, or embarrassing, but because it would mean that someone I loved that much — someone I invested that much of my life in — went sour, and there was nothing we could do about it. Sometimes I feel embarrassed for prioritizing love and relationships as much as I do, like that makes me less of a modern woman, or I should be doing other things with my life. But I can’t help it, love always feels like the most important part of life, no matter what else is going on. I think when we all get down to it, though, having casual relationships don’t fulfill you in the same way as actual love does. It’s become what’s expected to just have hook ups and “see” each other, so you feel like you can’t ask for more, but it’s not what most people really want.. I still have a dream book of all the things I want to do with the person I love. Sometimes I wonder where our generation is going, and when we are going to change what we’re looking for. We can’t all just be casually dating forever, right?. I am alone now, and it’s not that I’m upset about it, I just can’t stop thinking of all the wonderful things I could be doing and experiencing with someone else. I think that life is so great, it’s too much for just one person. I want someone to share things with. I worry that this makes me weird, or outdated. I hope there is someone out there who wants to share it all with me, and who still believes in love.
SPIRITUAL: YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS
Your THOUGHTS are never the real YOU. Why? Because thoughts come and go, but you are always present. YOU are aware of thoughts, thoughts are not aware of youThoughts report to you, you don’t report to thoughts.
This is why believing our thoughts leads to suffering; because we are putting our attention/identity on a temporary and fleeting mental appearance. Because thoughts are inherently unstable, we feel unstable when we identify with them.
So what’s the alternative? Here it is: Stay home. Don’t leave your center. Don’t move. Be still. Let your attention merge into the silence. Zero point. Note that since you already are pure Consciousness, there can be no talk of becoming it. And since you already are it, there can be no talk of going somewhere to get it.
Simply put, thoughts need YOU to exist, but you do not need them. Therefore in order for them to become a full blown belief, they need your cooperation. Or more specifically, your energy. Why? Because they get the energy to become a belief from the only power source available: your ATTENTION! Stop giving your thoughts power (via your attention/interest) and what happens? Like a fan that is unplugged, the blades start to slow down and will eventually stop.
The thing is you can’t fake it. If you are still believing your thoughts, and thus suffering, it’s because you are interested in them at some level. Remember, we have been believing them for decades, so be patient with yourself; it can take a while for thoughts to lose their allure, their stickiness.
Why is it so hard to detach from our thoughts? Because we mistake them for who/what we are. It is how a parasite exists in nature. It tricks the host into thinking that it is part of itself, and so no alarm bells go off. If you think something is you than you simply accept it and the matter is closed.
But what we forget is that thoughts are made of language. And language must be learned—and learning takes time. And so, for the first few months of your existence, you had no awareness of thoughts and yet you existed perfectly well! This can mean only one thing: You are NOT your Thoughts!
This is why believing our thoughts leads to suffering; because we are putting our attention/identity on a temporary and fleeting mental appearance. Because thoughts are inherently unstable, we feel unstable when we identify with them.
So what’s the alternative? Here it is: Stay home. Don’t leave your center. Don’t move. Be still. Let your attention merge into the silence. Zero point. Note that since you already are pure Consciousness, there can be no talk of becoming it. And since you already are it, there can be no talk of going somewhere to get it.
Simply put, thoughts need YOU to exist, but you do not need them. Therefore in order for them to become a full blown belief, they need your cooperation. Or more specifically, your energy. Why? Because they get the energy to become a belief from the only power source available: your ATTENTION! Stop giving your thoughts power (via your attention/interest) and what happens? Like a fan that is unplugged, the blades start to slow down and will eventually stop.
The thing is you can’t fake it. If you are still believing your thoughts, and thus suffering, it’s because you are interested in them at some level. Remember, we have been believing them for decades, so be patient with yourself; it can take a while for thoughts to lose their allure, their stickiness.
Why is it so hard to detach from our thoughts? Because we mistake them for who/what we are. It is how a parasite exists in nature. It tricks the host into thinking that it is part of itself, and so no alarm bells go off. If you think something is you than you simply accept it and the matter is closed.
But what we forget is that thoughts are made of language. And language must be learned—and learning takes time. And so, for the first few months of your existence, you had no awareness of thoughts and yet you existed perfectly well! This can mean only one thing: You are NOT your Thoughts!
REVIEW: "The Man Who Folded Himself" by David Gerrold
If you have sex with yourself is that masturbation? Just to clarify, we're not talking about yourself by yourself but rather with you from another timeline.
I imagine that's a question few books outside of David Gerrold's The Man Who Folded Himself have had to consider.
I'd of course heard of David Gerrold as the author of the classic Star Trek episode The Trouble with Tribbles The Man Who Folded Himself is a brief book - It's the type of book you can read in a day or two.
It tells the story of Dan Eakin. And in a sense Dan is pretty much the only character of any importance. He inherits from his uncle a time travel device. The book then plunges headfirst into regions that most time travel stories tremble before - ideas of meeting oneself, changing history, and paradox. Dan quickly learns that he can indeed change the past. He can even change his own past. Though in so doing all he does is create another timeline and another Dan.
The Dans meet each other a lot. They usually get along pretty well. There are get-togethers where they meet up. Eternal poker games, summer parties. Over time some of the Dans become lovers with one another. Some of the Dans are very different from each other, whether in appearance, age, sanity, or other reasons. One pair falls deeply in love with each other. Another loses his mind and becomes homicidal. The book tends to follow just one of these Dans though every once in a while the narration switches to another Dan, especially done to illustrate differences between them - like when one of them loses his sanity. At one point our protagonist and narrator finds himself alone - he's still on a "normal" Earth but he's on a timeline where he can't find any other instances of himself - which makes him feel alone.
Dan experiments with changing history - he does the obligatory killing Hitler. He also experiments with eliminating Jesus of Nazareth and removes Christianity in one timeline. Dan prefers to stay near the his hometime and the resulting world is so alien to him he quickly undoes it. These are big ideas but they tend to get expressed compactly, in just a few paragraphs.
Dan isn't immortal. He's a tourist in the timeline but he tends to stay around the year he first received his time travel device. He forgets that the world around him progresses - the building under construction is always under construction. It's he that changes as he begins aging - as time travel is not a source of immortality. He still lives, just lives differently. He begins associating with older versions of himself. He is shocked to watch one of his selves die of old age.
Over time Dan seems to find more fulfillment as he decides to settle in one time and live a normal-ish life - not that he doesn't go on the occasional jaunt, but he finds a purpose in becoming a part of the world.
The Man Who Folded Himself is an unusual book. It is brief but it covers some enormous topics. Copyrighted in 1973 it deals with same-sex relationships with a boldness unusual for its time. Its protagonist wrestles with the idea of free will. He tries to find love - but what does it say about him that the person he loves the most is himself? Is that healthy or disturbing? The brief elimination of Jesus Christ and all of Christianity is handled in under a page or two.
Any of these things could really be made into an entire mammoth novel - or five-book trilogy. But Gerrold doesn't really provide answers so much as he gives you ideas to think about. Time travel is almsot a toy for all the good it can do - each jaunt creates its own universe, making the jumper the only "real" person in a sense. Time traveling in this setting is very much an act of personal vanity - the rest of people of the universe seems to be just a supporting cast for Dan.
I imagine that's a question few books outside of David Gerrold's The Man Who Folded Himself have had to consider.
I'd of course heard of David Gerrold as the author of the classic Star Trek episode The Trouble with Tribbles The Man Who Folded Himself is a brief book - It's the type of book you can read in a day or two.
It tells the story of Dan Eakin. And in a sense Dan is pretty much the only character of any importance. He inherits from his uncle a time travel device. The book then plunges headfirst into regions that most time travel stories tremble before - ideas of meeting oneself, changing history, and paradox. Dan quickly learns that he can indeed change the past. He can even change his own past. Though in so doing all he does is create another timeline and another Dan.
The Dans meet each other a lot. They usually get along pretty well. There are get-togethers where they meet up. Eternal poker games, summer parties. Over time some of the Dans become lovers with one another. Some of the Dans are very different from each other, whether in appearance, age, sanity, or other reasons. One pair falls deeply in love with each other. Another loses his mind and becomes homicidal. The book tends to follow just one of these Dans though every once in a while the narration switches to another Dan, especially done to illustrate differences between them - like when one of them loses his sanity. At one point our protagonist and narrator finds himself alone - he's still on a "normal" Earth but he's on a timeline where he can't find any other instances of himself - which makes him feel alone.
Dan experiments with changing history - he does the obligatory killing Hitler. He also experiments with eliminating Jesus of Nazareth and removes Christianity in one timeline. Dan prefers to stay near the his hometime and the resulting world is so alien to him he quickly undoes it. These are big ideas but they tend to get expressed compactly, in just a few paragraphs.
Dan isn't immortal. He's a tourist in the timeline but he tends to stay around the year he first received his time travel device. He forgets that the world around him progresses - the building under construction is always under construction. It's he that changes as he begins aging - as time travel is not a source of immortality. He still lives, just lives differently. He begins associating with older versions of himself. He is shocked to watch one of his selves die of old age.
Over time Dan seems to find more fulfillment as he decides to settle in one time and live a normal-ish life - not that he doesn't go on the occasional jaunt, but he finds a purpose in becoming a part of the world.
The Man Who Folded Himself is an unusual book. It is brief but it covers some enormous topics. Copyrighted in 1973 it deals with same-sex relationships with a boldness unusual for its time. Its protagonist wrestles with the idea of free will. He tries to find love - but what does it say about him that the person he loves the most is himself? Is that healthy or disturbing? The brief elimination of Jesus Christ and all of Christianity is handled in under a page or two.
Any of these things could really be made into an entire mammoth novel - or five-book trilogy. But Gerrold doesn't really provide answers so much as he gives you ideas to think about. Time travel is almsot a toy for all the good it can do - each jaunt creates its own universe, making the jumper the only "real" person in a sense. Time traveling in this setting is very much an act of personal vanity - the rest of people of the universe seems to be just a supporting cast for Dan.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE..OUR PHONE CALLS
Dear Soulmate,
When you love someone, you will do anything for them,when you care about someone, you will be there for them when no one else is,when you cherish someone, you treasure every moment you have in their eyes,when you realize you love, care about, and cherish someone, that's when you know you can't live without them.Of all the millions of people in this world, I found you,I loved you with all my heart.You were my first,We were never apart.I thought of you day and night,I made you my whole world,You called and wrote me time after time.Every night on the phone,Our silent, nerve wracking moments, we'd share.We talked for hours on the phone and exchanged ideas about love.The love grew stronger than ever.Together we beat all the odds.We talked over and over again..sharing secrets and visions of love.We began to feel for one another and gradually love grew in our hearts.Before we could be won over the sky was as red as crimson.After romance eventually commenced..the moon was as blue as the rainbow. Love between us was our destiny as if it?s made in heaven above.In spite of...that we started on the phone.It flourished more than we ever knew.Every day we talk on the phone about how to meet face to face.In my dreams, I can feel your lips pressing mine,taste the sweetness of your kiss. Holding you in my arms, touching your soft skin, under a harvest moon, shining in our eyes. You provided a comfort zone for me, You were always there.I look at you and can only see,My love, my life, my Eternity.With you there is no end,Let's hold each other, our love to tend,In this chaotic world of ours,One thing is for sure in my heart,You finish the circle throughout my life,Like a never ending fire through the night,Mystic colors swirl 'round,only for you will they die down,Keep me on your mind and in your thoughts,What we have, my love, cannot be bought.Forever in my arms. I want you to be. You are my light I follow in the dark,A splendid jewel that makes my life bright.I give you my heart, my being whole.To fly on your wings To join with your soul.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
JOURNAL/DATING/PERSONAL: MY SUBSCRIPTION TO MATCH ENDED.
My presentation last week went great.
I have to return my new glasses this weekend....
My subscription to match ended this week. I am still on eharmony.
I went on a date recently. Although it was great, I don't think she is into me. I didn't email her or text her yesterday. I am going to wait and see if she respond back. I am not going to be the only one doing all the work in this relationship. I want someone who wants me as much as I want her.
I have come to realization that no matter how well I wrote up my profile information, and no matter how flattering the pictures were, the quality of the messages I received never appealed to my interests and they seemed to have nothing to do with what I was putting out there.At first, I wrote a profile full of facetious information and jokes. It triggered a few interesting responses from women, but they didn’t go much further than a superficial reaction.When I thought it over and decided to take things more seriously, I rewrote everything to reflect my truer intentions which were vastly different than my initial comments about dying alone.I shared about what I was looking for in a woman. I specified the age bracket I was willing to date, and I shared about my interests in literature, music, and books. You know, the basic stuff you’d get out of the way on a first date anyway. I shared my stance on long term relationships and how I feel about the dynamic that should be shared between a partner and myself.I disgusted myself with all that honesty. What were these women going to do with that kind of information? What kind of women was I going to attract with my personal interests and a few of my best pictures?
None of the women who messaged me were interested in getting to know each other a little first. I wanted a phone number and they didn’t give it to me, Maybe all of the woman I thought I would attract just weren’t into someone like me and that gave me a lot to think about in terms of how I market myself to that demographic (the off-roader, dirt bike demographic).
This isn’t a bad thing, I mean, that’s how online dating works. You present the goods and what you attract becomes an exercise in market research. The results received by man who doesn't have a drink in his hand or is out door doing stuff are very different than perhaps someone who does.That’s how the game works when it comes to strategizing with visuals.
When all you have to work with is a set of pictures and a few sometimes poorly-written descriptions that are only the surface details about a person, the effectiveness of online dating then has more to do with taking chances on a person than just landing on the “right profile.” It’s a game of chance, mostly, though pretty often you should immediately know what a person’s deal is and if you have a strong gut response, it tends to be correct.
If a person makes it clear on their profile that they are looking for a long term relationship, and you are not, then keep looking. I never responded to the messages from women who asked me if I was willing to overlook my specified age bracket and date someone older I also did not respond to those who wrote that they had just gotten out of nasty divorces. I don’t have the kind of heart that is willing to deal with the repercussions of someone else’s major life events.
The more aware you are of what you’re looking for and the more you stand by your choice to not compromise for what you really want, the better you might get at weeding out the ones who just aren’t right for you.
Gone are the days where we think that everyone has potential, where we casually date around and slowly see what things turn into. Now we want super high-quality connections, people to be on the same page as us from the get-go, and singles who have their shit completely together—that is, those of us who want to partner up. My recently divorced friends have a different attitude. One friend said, “It’s kind of a turn off when girls write that they’re looking for a long-term relationship in their profile.” I replied, “Yeah, cause you’re not.”
There are, in fact, handfuls of men and women on OkCupid looking for something long-term we seek quality over quantity
I have to return my new glasses this weekend....
My subscription to match ended this week. I am still on eharmony.
I went on a date recently. Although it was great, I don't think she is into me. I didn't email her or text her yesterday. I am going to wait and see if she respond back. I am not going to be the only one doing all the work in this relationship. I want someone who wants me as much as I want her.
I have come to realization that no matter how well I wrote up my profile information, and no matter how flattering the pictures were, the quality of the messages I received never appealed to my interests and they seemed to have nothing to do with what I was putting out there.At first, I wrote a profile full of facetious information and jokes. It triggered a few interesting responses from women, but they didn’t go much further than a superficial reaction.When I thought it over and decided to take things more seriously, I rewrote everything to reflect my truer intentions which were vastly different than my initial comments about dying alone.I shared about what I was looking for in a woman. I specified the age bracket I was willing to date, and I shared about my interests in literature, music, and books. You know, the basic stuff you’d get out of the way on a first date anyway. I shared my stance on long term relationships and how I feel about the dynamic that should be shared between a partner and myself.I disgusted myself with all that honesty. What were these women going to do with that kind of information? What kind of women was I going to attract with my personal interests and a few of my best pictures?
None of the women who messaged me were interested in getting to know each other a little first. I wanted a phone number and they didn’t give it to me, Maybe all of the woman I thought I would attract just weren’t into someone like me and that gave me a lot to think about in terms of how I market myself to that demographic (the off-roader, dirt bike demographic).
This isn’t a bad thing, I mean, that’s how online dating works. You present the goods and what you attract becomes an exercise in market research. The results received by man who doesn't have a drink in his hand or is out door doing stuff are very different than perhaps someone who does.That’s how the game works when it comes to strategizing with visuals.
When all you have to work with is a set of pictures and a few sometimes poorly-written descriptions that are only the surface details about a person, the effectiveness of online dating then has more to do with taking chances on a person than just landing on the “right profile.” It’s a game of chance, mostly, though pretty often you should immediately know what a person’s deal is and if you have a strong gut response, it tends to be correct.
If a person makes it clear on their profile that they are looking for a long term relationship, and you are not, then keep looking. I never responded to the messages from women who asked me if I was willing to overlook my specified age bracket and date someone older I also did not respond to those who wrote that they had just gotten out of nasty divorces. I don’t have the kind of heart that is willing to deal with the repercussions of someone else’s major life events.
The more aware you are of what you’re looking for and the more you stand by your choice to not compromise for what you really want, the better you might get at weeding out the ones who just aren’t right for you.
Gone are the days where we think that everyone has potential, where we casually date around and slowly see what things turn into. Now we want super high-quality connections, people to be on the same page as us from the get-go, and singles who have their shit completely together—that is, those of us who want to partner up. My recently divorced friends have a different attitude. One friend said, “It’s kind of a turn off when girls write that they’re looking for a long-term relationship in their profile.” I replied, “Yeah, cause you’re not.”
There are, in fact, handfuls of men and women on OkCupid looking for something long-term we seek quality over quantity
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
If I wake in the night I want to feel you there. Your lips pressed to my back,Your breath upon my skin in slumbered rhythm.The security of the delight of your eyelashes.Tells me without a doubt that you love me. If I wake in the night.Pull me tighter to your heart so that I can feel its pulsating.pounding only for me,and mine for you, love.and mine for you.Your face appears in my mind, and I can't help falling in love with you. The world is spinning for a reason; it spins because of you....So take my hand, my love, and we'll take our lives to a new height...beyond any star in the sky. Take my whole life,everything that I am, because you're the one. You fill every pore in my skin,every ounce of love I have within. Once I never knew of you,never knew you existed, and now I do. And for me to have that honor is the greatest gift anyone could receive on earth....And now I can hold you, and feel you,and learn about you....I can lie beside you and with each breath, feel the magic and miracle of your heartbeat next to mine.What's next? what does tomorrow bring? Another way for us to define our edges, spread our wings,
and smooth our flight, because when we're together we're balanced just right. On the great horizon,Sunlight breaks into billions of pure pieces of light upon your skin, and penetrates deep into the story inside your eyes...and the story of our lives.Some things are meant to be;some people change your life.Someone will change it forever;someone will love you forever...and I always will. I had no clue it would be like this.That so much could come from wanting one kiss!Now everything is all so new...just because I'm developing feelings for you.I had no clue you would grow on me,But now, I know exactly where I want to be.And that is only right there beside you.Doing whatever it is we want to do.I had no clue I could feel this way,But you've proven me wrong again each day.Now I know that I can't be without...Because hearing your sweet voice erases all doubt.I had no clue you were interested in me too,So, now all I think about is pleasing you.Right to the point where you can smile no more...Because that look in your eye will last forevermore
If I wake in the night I want to feel you there. Your lips pressed to my back,Your breath upon my skin in slumbered rhythm.The security of the delight of your eyelashes.Tells me without a doubt that you love me. If I wake in the night.Pull me tighter to your heart so that I can feel its pulsating.pounding only for me,and mine for you, love.and mine for you.Your face appears in my mind, and I can't help falling in love with you. The world is spinning for a reason; it spins because of you....So take my hand, my love, and we'll take our lives to a new height...beyond any star in the sky. Take my whole life,everything that I am, because you're the one. You fill every pore in my skin,every ounce of love I have within. Once I never knew of you,never knew you existed, and now I do. And for me to have that honor is the greatest gift anyone could receive on earth....And now I can hold you, and feel you,and learn about you....I can lie beside you and with each breath, feel the magic and miracle of your heartbeat next to mine.What's next? what does tomorrow bring? Another way for us to define our edges, spread our wings,
and smooth our flight, because when we're together we're balanced just right. On the great horizon,Sunlight breaks into billions of pure pieces of light upon your skin, and penetrates deep into the story inside your eyes...and the story of our lives.Some things are meant to be;some people change your life.Someone will change it forever;someone will love you forever...and I always will. I had no clue it would be like this.That so much could come from wanting one kiss!Now everything is all so new...just because I'm developing feelings for you.I had no clue you would grow on me,But now, I know exactly where I want to be.And that is only right there beside you.Doing whatever it is we want to do.I had no clue I could feel this way,But you've proven me wrong again each day.Now I know that I can't be without...Because hearing your sweet voice erases all doubt.I had no clue you were interested in me too,So, now all I think about is pleasing you.Right to the point where you can smile no more...Because that look in your eye will last forevermore
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
ARTICLE: HOW ONE MAN MADE MILLIONS >Scott DeLong's Success Formula for Viral Nova By Felix Gillette
Scott DeLong often receives e-mails from strangers asking for advice on how to get rich from the Internet. “I try and send them helpful stuff,” he says. “But I just can’t hold your hand and teach you how to do it. It’s like, ‘OK, start five years ago, do the research. Learn everything.’ ”
DeLong lives alone in a four-bedroom house that backs up to a cornfield on the outskirts of North Canton, Ohio. When he’s feeling stressed—like when his network servers hundreds of miles away in New Jersey crash from too much traffic, which has happened a lot lately—he retreats to his rec room and shoots hoops on an arcade-style basketball game. “It can get very, for lack of a better word, lonely,” he says.
The 31-year-old runs a site called Viral Nova, which aggregates “trending stories and pictures around the Web.” It reaches 6.6 million monthly U.S. visitors, according to ComScore, and has made him rich, though he admits it will likely not last forever. DeLong is the rare person who somehow manages to keep coming up with low-cost “programming” that generates sizable profits on the Web.
DeLong works from his home office with the help of three remote freelancers. Every day he wakes up and scavenges the Internet for visually compelling material on sites such as BuzzFeed, Reddit, Imgur, Bored Panda, and the Daily Mail. He chooses the most arresting items and repurposes them into 8 to 10 posts for Viral Nova. He writes headlines for each in the increasingly ubiquitous language of the click-seeking Web—chatty, saccharine, and oozing with overstatement. Certain adjectives recur frequently: amazing, mind-blowing, shocking, unreal, unbelievable, unimaginable, unstoppable, brilliant, genius, epic.
Almost everything on Viral Nova has been published previously elsewhere. DeLong will take a list from BuzzFeed entitled “29 Surreal Places in America You Need to Visit Before You Die,” itself cobbled together from photos culled from elsewhere, and transform it into an article titled “Step One Foot in Any of These 29 Places and Your Life Will Never Be the Same. Wow.”
He doesn’t attach his name to anything he publishes. Nor is there any information on Viral Nova about who runs the site. What DeLong wants more than personal recognition, he says, is for people to recognize his brand.
Viral Nova launched in May 2013, and it has exploded in popularity thanks to DeLong’s curatorial instincts and his ingenious manipulation of Facebook (FB). The world’s largest social network now accounts for 90 percent of Viral Nova’s audience. According to Quantcast, Viral Nova attracts more visitors each month than many well-established entertainment brands, including the BBC, Rush Limbaugh, and VH1 (VIA). DeLong says Viral Nova earns several hundred thousand dollars a month in ad revenue.
The site has emerged as one of the defining media companies of this convulsive era. Along with a handful of other publishers, such as Upworthy and Distractify, Viral Nova has perfected a newfangled technique of traffic metallurgy; it extracts large amounts of attention from Facebook using little more than cheap ingredients available to anybody on the Web. Colin Nagy, executive director for media at the Barbarian Group, a digital ad agency, says Viral Nova is a paragon of the strategy, which he likes to describe as “media arbitrage.” As Nagy sees it, DeLong’s success boils down to “finding a glitch in the matrix.”
DeLong grew up in the small town of Uhrichsville, Ohio. He lived with his mom, a homemaker, and his stepfather, a truck driver. His dad, a part-time Christian pastor, worked at a steel mill and owned a laundromat and a carwash.
After graduating from Kent State University in 2004, DeLong got a job at the Karcher Group, a marketing agency in North Canton. His role was to do search engine optimization for clients, typically local manufacturers. The job didn’t pay well. He lived at home with his parents.
In the summer of 2005, DeLong, who’d dabbled as a webmaster for years, was reading sitepoint.com, an Internet community for developers. On its marketplace, he came across a for-sale listing for a site called dumpalink.com, which claimed to be earning $30,000 a month in ad revenue. That was more than his annual salary. The site compiled amateur videos from around the Web. It was the kind of stuff DeLong had grown up watching on TV shows such as America’s Funniest Home Videos—frat brothers crashing golf carts, dads getting socked in the groin by toddlers.
A few weeks later he launched Nothing Toxic, a video blooper site with a dark edge. He spent hours rooting around the Internet for the most jaw-dropping footage of skateboarding accidents and car wrecks to post. To pump up his initial traffic, DeLong paid other webmasters to place links to his site on theirs. By December 2005, Nothing Toxic was making $8,000 a month in Google (GOOG) ad money (the year before, Google launched AdSense, an automated program in which the company placed ads on a site in exchange for a cut of the resulting revenue). In February 2006, DeLong quit his day job.
The site succeeded, but in the fall of 2006, Google shelled out $1.65 billion for YouTube. Before long, the whole ecosystem of sites from which Nothing Toxic emerged withered in its shadow. In 2007, DeLong sold 80 percent of Nothing Toxic to a Russian company. The next year, he and the company sold the entire site to Break Media, a Los Angeles-based company, for roughly $800,000. DeLong remained briefly to train his successor, an editor named Brian Warner.
DeLong lives alone in a four-bedroom house that backs up to a cornfield on the outskirts of North Canton, Ohio. When he’s feeling stressed—like when his network servers hundreds of miles away in New Jersey crash from too much traffic, which has happened a lot lately—he retreats to his rec room and shoots hoops on an arcade-style basketball game. “It can get very, for lack of a better word, lonely,” he says.
The 31-year-old runs a site called Viral Nova, which aggregates “trending stories and pictures around the Web.” It reaches 6.6 million monthly U.S. visitors, according to ComScore, and has made him rich, though he admits it will likely not last forever. DeLong is the rare person who somehow manages to keep coming up with low-cost “programming” that generates sizable profits on the Web.
DeLong works from his home office with the help of three remote freelancers. Every day he wakes up and scavenges the Internet for visually compelling material on sites such as BuzzFeed, Reddit, Imgur, Bored Panda, and the Daily Mail. He chooses the most arresting items and repurposes them into 8 to 10 posts for Viral Nova. He writes headlines for each in the increasingly ubiquitous language of the click-seeking Web—chatty, saccharine, and oozing with overstatement. Certain adjectives recur frequently: amazing, mind-blowing, shocking, unreal, unbelievable, unimaginable, unstoppable, brilliant, genius, epic.
Almost everything on Viral Nova has been published previously elsewhere. DeLong will take a list from BuzzFeed entitled “29 Surreal Places in America You Need to Visit Before You Die,” itself cobbled together from photos culled from elsewhere, and transform it into an article titled “Step One Foot in Any of These 29 Places and Your Life Will Never Be the Same. Wow.”
He doesn’t attach his name to anything he publishes. Nor is there any information on Viral Nova about who runs the site. What DeLong wants more than personal recognition, he says, is for people to recognize his brand.
Viral Nova launched in May 2013, and it has exploded in popularity thanks to DeLong’s curatorial instincts and his ingenious manipulation of Facebook (FB). The world’s largest social network now accounts for 90 percent of Viral Nova’s audience. According to Quantcast, Viral Nova attracts more visitors each month than many well-established entertainment brands, including the BBC, Rush Limbaugh, and VH1 (VIA). DeLong says Viral Nova earns several hundred thousand dollars a month in ad revenue.
The site has emerged as one of the defining media companies of this convulsive era. Along with a handful of other publishers, such as Upworthy and Distractify, Viral Nova has perfected a newfangled technique of traffic metallurgy; it extracts large amounts of attention from Facebook using little more than cheap ingredients available to anybody on the Web. Colin Nagy, executive director for media at the Barbarian Group, a digital ad agency, says Viral Nova is a paragon of the strategy, which he likes to describe as “media arbitrage.” As Nagy sees it, DeLong’s success boils down to “finding a glitch in the matrix.”
DeLong grew up in the small town of Uhrichsville, Ohio. He lived with his mom, a homemaker, and his stepfather, a truck driver. His dad, a part-time Christian pastor, worked at a steel mill and owned a laundromat and a carwash.
After graduating from Kent State University in 2004, DeLong got a job at the Karcher Group, a marketing agency in North Canton. His role was to do search engine optimization for clients, typically local manufacturers. The job didn’t pay well. He lived at home with his parents.
In the summer of 2005, DeLong, who’d dabbled as a webmaster for years, was reading sitepoint.com, an Internet community for developers. On its marketplace, he came across a for-sale listing for a site called dumpalink.com, which claimed to be earning $30,000 a month in ad revenue. That was more than his annual salary. The site compiled amateur videos from around the Web. It was the kind of stuff DeLong had grown up watching on TV shows such as America’s Funniest Home Videos—frat brothers crashing golf carts, dads getting socked in the groin by toddlers.
A few weeks later he launched Nothing Toxic, a video blooper site with a dark edge. He spent hours rooting around the Internet for the most jaw-dropping footage of skateboarding accidents and car wrecks to post. To pump up his initial traffic, DeLong paid other webmasters to place links to his site on theirs. By December 2005, Nothing Toxic was making $8,000 a month in Google (GOOG) ad money (the year before, Google launched AdSense, an automated program in which the company placed ads on a site in exchange for a cut of the resulting revenue). In February 2006, DeLong quit his day job.
The site succeeded, but in the fall of 2006, Google shelled out $1.65 billion for YouTube. Before long, the whole ecosystem of sites from which Nothing Toxic emerged withered in its shadow. In 2007, DeLong sold 80 percent of Nothing Toxic to a Russian company. The next year, he and the company sold the entire site to Break Media, a Los Angeles-based company, for roughly $800,000. DeLong remained briefly to train his successor, an editor named Brian Warner.
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
It seems like an eternity I have searched for love,never finding it, no matter how diligently I sought after it.No matter my patience or vigilance, it eluded my grasp,only rarely glimpsing it from afar, akin to sighting a rare bird.Then almost exhausted from my search, hope near an end,I accidentally brushed you in passing.We paused in our hurried wanderings, turned,and our eyes met.In that brief moment, I saw the answer to my quest.Imagine love here, now...could it be?What I saw reflected in your eyes was confirmation, assurance that my ordeal was at an end.Hesitantly I touched you again,as if you would flee from my sight.Yet you remained, our eyes locked,sharing a wealth of wordless information and emotion.Almost in unison we leaned closer to one another as if drawn.I touched your cheek and we kissed, that first tentative brush of lips.Now we are united, having shared body and soul,and I would take you to a secluded place,shutting us off from the world for all time.But then we both would be blinded,the brilliance of our bond seeks release.We must of necessity exist in the world,vulnerable to that existence we need not be.For now we go forth, into life,shielded by that bond, so briefly forged.Yet so strong it will repel all of life's injustices,all the hatred, envy, spite, jealousy and infidelity.We searched vainly for an elusive thing called love, and accidentally found a miracle.From this day forward we know our future will be bright,for we have our love to guide and protect us from all adversity.
When first I looked into your eyes each breath became a thousand sighs.My heart drummed out a thunder beat;I glowed with joy from head to feet.The hand of heaven touched my soul,as the bell of destiny began to toll.The tide of love began to rise,when first I looked into your eyes.When first I looked into your eyes the world was filled with summer skies.My sodden clouds of cold and grey glowed with gold, then wisped away. A brilliant rainbow arched across,as waves of love began to toss.The air was filled with lovebird cries,when first I looked into your eyes.When first I looked into your eyes all time and space were paralyzed.Each second became eternity;between us lay infinity.And in that instant, I was shown a universe I had never known.I dwell there still, in Paradise,when e're I look into your eyes.This love consumes every beat of my heart,I love you in ways I never knew I could.I think about you every second, and it isn't an annoyance it's just the opposite.I want you to be in every memory I ever make.I want to hold your hand through life.I couldn't express to you all the love I have, there's not enough time in the day, or words so deep. I love you,three words that say so much.In your eyes I see my future, and everything I'll ever be; My past- I have forgotten.If I die right now, I'd be happy.You're my first and last wish.It's like you're my source of air.I don't breathe when you're away, Then I see you and it's a total release.You're everything I could ever want, and so much more.I finally know what this life is for... You!
When will I find you?
What will you look like?
Where will we meet?
Why haven't I found you yet?
I hope we fall in love instantly.
I can't wait to see your face,
To spend every waking moment with you.
I can't wait to see your clear sweet face,
The one, the only, for me!
It seems like an eternity I have searched for love,never finding it, no matter how diligently I sought after it.No matter my patience or vigilance, it eluded my grasp,only rarely glimpsing it from afar, akin to sighting a rare bird.Then almost exhausted from my search, hope near an end,I accidentally brushed you in passing.We paused in our hurried wanderings, turned,and our eyes met.In that brief moment, I saw the answer to my quest.Imagine love here, now...could it be?What I saw reflected in your eyes was confirmation, assurance that my ordeal was at an end.Hesitantly I touched you again,as if you would flee from my sight.Yet you remained, our eyes locked,sharing a wealth of wordless information and emotion.Almost in unison we leaned closer to one another as if drawn.I touched your cheek and we kissed, that first tentative brush of lips.Now we are united, having shared body and soul,and I would take you to a secluded place,shutting us off from the world for all time.But then we both would be blinded,the brilliance of our bond seeks release.We must of necessity exist in the world,vulnerable to that existence we need not be.For now we go forth, into life,shielded by that bond, so briefly forged.Yet so strong it will repel all of life's injustices,all the hatred, envy, spite, jealousy and infidelity.We searched vainly for an elusive thing called love, and accidentally found a miracle.From this day forward we know our future will be bright,for we have our love to guide and protect us from all adversity.
When first I looked into your eyes each breath became a thousand sighs.My heart drummed out a thunder beat;I glowed with joy from head to feet.The hand of heaven touched my soul,as the bell of destiny began to toll.The tide of love began to rise,when first I looked into your eyes.When first I looked into your eyes the world was filled with summer skies.My sodden clouds of cold and grey glowed with gold, then wisped away. A brilliant rainbow arched across,as waves of love began to toss.The air was filled with lovebird cries,when first I looked into your eyes.When first I looked into your eyes all time and space were paralyzed.Each second became eternity;between us lay infinity.And in that instant, I was shown a universe I had never known.I dwell there still, in Paradise,when e're I look into your eyes.This love consumes every beat of my heart,I love you in ways I never knew I could.I think about you every second, and it isn't an annoyance it's just the opposite.I want you to be in every memory I ever make.I want to hold your hand through life.I couldn't express to you all the love I have, there's not enough time in the day, or words so deep. I love you,three words that say so much.In your eyes I see my future, and everything I'll ever be; My past- I have forgotten.If I die right now, I'd be happy.You're my first and last wish.It's like you're my source of air.I don't breathe when you're away, Then I see you and it's a total release.You're everything I could ever want, and so much more.I finally know what this life is for... You!
When will I find you?
What will you look like?
Where will we meet?
Why haven't I found you yet?
I hope we fall in love instantly.
I can't wait to see your face,
To spend every waking moment with you.
I can't wait to see your clear sweet face,
The one, the only, for me!
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