PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR LOVE

Dear Love,

The look in your eyes says it all and I've searched for it my whole life.  The tenderness of your touch makes everything feel alright and I've waited for the feel of that touch my whole life. The way you call my name, I could never turn away from you.I've waited my whole life to hear exactly that. My eyes have waited their whole life to see such a beautiful sight.My mind, heart, body, and soul have waited for nothing but you their whole life.Your are the true love of my whole life.The words that I search for I can't seem to find to make you aware of what's on my mind. I can only describe how much you mean to me as a piece of heaven. No words could express how much I love you... Nothing I could ever do could show you how much I care... You are my heart... My soul... My dreams... My sense of being... and nothing could ever stop me from loving you.  I want more than anything to show you how I feel... to show you that my love is truly real.  I never could have imagined how happy I could be with someone like you. Someone I want to have by my side for the rest of eternity.No matter if the world would end or the sun no longer shined... my love for you would go on and on until the end of time.  I often sit and dream of you and I and how happy we will be, like two doves flying up high in the sky.  I sit and pray and hope that one day you and I will be joined hand in hand and walk down the aisle to that great far off land where lovers go and there is no pain... no more tears and no more rain.  I might not be making much sense with all that I'm saying but I want you to know that my love is ongoing... it will never end... it will never stop... it will never cease to exist.The only one that I will ever want by my side is you my darling true love and without you all I could do is hide. I wouldn't be the person I am now if not for you.  I owe you so much and one day with my love I will prove it to you.  Now I bid you farewell as I wait for your return from your stressful day of work... and I'll be thinking of you while I await your presence in my arms.

LOVE/THOUGHTS: HOW CAN I GIVE MORE

I see so many profile describe themselves as the most educated, the most brilliant, the most beautiful, the hottest, the richest, the nicest, the most charismatic, the most flirtatious, the most seductive,  the most exciting, the most creative and the most anything, BUT if you are afraid, unwilling and unable to look inside, recognize the love that is already there, take that love and give it away, you're just that; educated, brilliant, beautiful, hot, rich, nice, charismatic, flirtatious, seductive, energizer bunny, exciting, creative etc. You're most anything, but NOT a lover.

You can even say the "right" loving" words, know the "right" techniques, tactics, and tricks, and do all the "right" kinds of selfless "acts of love", but if you are honest with yourself, you'll admit that you feel alone and lonely, unworthy and unloved. You're repeatedly rejected, repeatedly lied to and cheated on, avoided constantly, told what a great person you are but not loved.

Why? Because you are anything but a lover and doing everything "right" except doing what great lovers do.What exactly do great lovers do? Great lovers give themselves permission to love and be loved. Let me rephrase it this way: To get love, you have to first of all recognize the love already within, develop it, and then give it all away-- willingly and freely.

So many woman I have been with tried to get me to love them by - demanded to be loved, begged to be loved, slaved and suffered for love, and even used manipulation me, seduction or bribery me to get some love -- and yet it seems like they never get it, get it but it's never enough or get it 

You see, to be a great lovers you need to understand that the only thing that attracts love is love itself. To attract love you have to BE the loving person you want to attract into your life. You have to BE the love you want -- and give that love to yourself before you can expect to get it from someone else. It's asking too much of others to love you when you can't even love yourself.

I am sure you are going to tell me.. that you've sacrificed so much, "given" so much, and done so much to make someone else happy but it seems the more you "give" and the harder you try, the more you push away the very same person you're trying to make love you. Your words, actions and desire to be loved threaten the very existence of that love.

Listen giving love away in order to get love is not giving it away at all. The only reward great lovers seek and the only reward they really care about is the experience of loving -- to love simply for the pleasure of loving.

Conventional wisdom says, don't give your love away because you can't get it back...Great lovers are not afraid to love and to show that they love because they understand that nobody can steal your love or take it away from you. Your love is yours to give away. Only you can give it away. It's probably the only one thing in this world that you can call truly call "yours." Not yours to keep or hold onto but yours to give away-- willingly and freely.

And you were "lucky" to have met that one very special individual, the only person out there for you. Your whole happiness rested in the happiness of your beloved. But now that person is gone, so is your happiness -- and love. You feel that you'll never be able to love again because your one chance for love and happiness is gone -- forever.

You see .. no matter how much love you give away, you'll still have so much left. You could love every single person in the whole world and even love all the animals, birds, insects and plants with the same amount of love for each but still have plenty more love left. The more you give the more love -- and enjoyment, acknowledgement, acceptance -- comes back to you two, three or even hundredfold.

So if you are educated, brilliant, beautiful, hot, rich, nice, charismatic, flirtatious, seductive, energizer bunny, exciting, creative etc. and yet still find yourself feeling alone and lonely; unworthy and unloved; repeatedly rejected; repeatedly lied to and cheated on; avoided constantly, told what a great person you are and even liked (a lot) but not really loved, you might want to try this one more thing.

Instead of learning flirting, acting confident, and attractive techniques, learn how to be a great lover. Instead of asking "where can I get love?" start asking "How can I give more love?" Because that is the part I notice most woman don't do. They aren't loving as they say they are.

THOUGHTS: WHY I LOVE SEX

Sex is the most powerful instinct in man. The politician and the priest have understood from the very beginning that sex is the most driving energy in man. It has to be curtailed, it has to be cut. If man is allowed total freedom in sex, then there will be no possibility to dominate him. To make a slave out of him will be impossible.

Have you not seen it being done? When you want a bull to be yoked to a cart, what do you do? You castrate him, you destroy his sex energy. And have you seen the difference between a bull and an ox? What a difference! An ox is a poor phenomenon, a slave. A bull is a beauty; a bull is a glorious phenomenon, a great splendor. See a bull walking, how he walks like an emperor! And see an ox pulling a cart.

The same has been done to man. The sex instinct has been curtailed, cut, crippled. Man does not exist as the bull now, he exists like the ox, and each man is pulling a thousand and one carts. Look and you will find behind you a thousand and one carts, and you are yoked to them.

Why can't you yoke a bull? The bull is too powerful. If he sees a cow passing by, he will throw both you and the cart, and he will move to the cow! He will not bother a bit about who you are, and he will not listen. It will be impossible to control the bull. Sex energy is life energy; it is uncontrollable. And the politician and the priest are not interested in you, they are interested in channeling your energy into other directions. So there is a certain mechanism behind it—it has to be understood.

Sex repression, tabooing sex, is the very foundation of human slavery. Man cannot be free unless sex is free. Man cannot be really free unless his sex energy is allowed natural growth.

These are the five tricks through which man has been turned into a slave, into an ugly phenomenon, a cripple.

The first is:

Keep man as weak as possible if you want to dominate him. If the priest wants to dominate you or the politician wants to dominate you, you have to be kept as weak as possible. And the best way to keep a man weak is not to give love total freedom. Love is nourishment. Now the psychologists have discovered that if a child is not given love, he shrivels up into himself and becomes weak. You can give him milk, you can give him medicine, you can give him everything else, but just don't give love. Don't hug him, don't kiss him, don't hold him close to the warmth of your body, and the child will start becoming weaker and weaker and weaker. There are more chances of his dying than surviving.

What happens? Why? Just hugging, kissing, giving warmth, and somehow the child feels nourished, accepted, loved, needed. The child starts feeling worthy; the child starts feeling a certain meaning in his life.

Now, from the very childhood we starve them; we don't give love as much as is needed. Then we try to force the young men and young women not to fall in love unless they get married. By the age of fourteen they become sexually mature. But their education may take more time, ten years more, until they are twenty-four, twenty-five years old—then they will be getting their M.A.s, or Ph.D.s, or M.D.s. So we try to force them not to love.

Sexual energy comes to its climax near the age of eighteen. Never again will a man be so potent, and never again will a woman be able to have a greater orgasm than she will be able to near the age of eighteen. But we force them not to make love—girls and boys are kept separate, and just between them stands the whole mechanism of police, magistrates, vice-chancellors, principals, headmasters. They are all standing there, just in between, just holding the boys back from moving to the girls, holding the girls back from moving to the boys. Why? Why is so much care taken? They are trying to kill the bull and create an ox.

By the time you are eighteen you are at the peak of your sexual energy, your love energy. By the time you get married at twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven . . . and the age has been going up and up. The more cultured a country the longer you wait, because more has to be learned, the job has to be found, this and that. By the time you get married you are almost declining in your powers. Then you love, but the love never becomes really hot; it never comes to the point where people evaporate, it remains lukewarm. And when you have not been able to love totally, you cannot love your children because you don't know how. When you have not been able to know the peaks of it, how can you teach your children? How can you help your children to have the peaks of it?

So down the ages man has been denied love so that he should remain weak.

Second:

Keep man as ignorant and deluded as possible so that he can easily be deceived. And if you want to create a sort of idiocy—which is a must for the priest and the politician and their conspiracy—then the best thing is not to allow man to move into love freely. Without love a man's intelligence falls low. Have you not watched it? When you fall in love, suddenly all your capacities are at their peak, at their crescendo, just a moment ago you were looking dull and then you meet your woman and suddenly a great joy has erupted in your being; you are aflame. While people are in love they perform at their maximum. When love disappears or when love is not there, they perform at their minimum.

The most intelligent people are the most sexual people. This has to be understood, because love energy is basically intelligence. If you cannot love you are somehow closed, cold; you cannot flow. While in love one flows. While in love one feels so confident that one can touch the stars. That's why a woman becomes a great inspiration, a man becomes a great inspiration. When a woman is loved she becomes more beautiful immediately, instantly! Just a moment ago she was just an ordinary woman, and now love has showered upon her—she is bathed in a totally new energy, a new aura arises around her. She walks more gracefully, a dance has come to her step. Her eyes have tremendous beauty now; her face glows, she is luminous. And the same happens to the man.

When people are in love they perform at the optimum. Don't allow love and they will remain at the minimum. When they remain at the minimum they are stupid, they are ignorant, they don't bother to know. And when people are ignorant and stupid and deluded, they can be easily deceived.

When people are sexually repressed, lovewise repressed, they start hankering for the other life. They think about heaven, paradise, but they don't think to create the paradise here, now. When you are in love, paradise is here now. Then you don't bother; then who goes to the priest? Then who bothers that there should be a paradise? You are already there! You are no longer interested. But when your love energy is repressed, you start thinking, "Here is nothing, now is empty. Then there must be somewhere some goal..." You go to the priest and ask about heaven and he paints beautiful pictures of heaven. Sex has been repressed so that you can become interested in the other life. And when people are interested in the other life, naturally they are not interested in this life.

This life is the only life. The other life is hidden in this life! It is not against it, it is not away from it; it is in it. Go into it—this is it! Go into it and you will find the other, too. God is hidden in the world, God is hidden here now. If you love, you will be able to feel it.

The third secret:

Keep man as frightened as possible. And the sure way is not to allow him love, because love destroys fear—"love casteth out fear." When you are in love you are not afraid. When you are in love you can fight against the whole world. When you are in love you feel infinitely capable of anything. But when you are not in love, you are afraid of small things. When you are not in love you become more interested in security, in safety. When you are in love you are more interested in adventure, in exploration. People have not been allowed to love because that is the only way to make them afraid. And when they are afraid and trembling they are always on their knees, bowing to the priest and bowing to the politician.

It is a great conspiracy against humanity. It is a great conspiracy against you! Your politician and your priest are your enemies, but they pretend that they are public servants. They say, "We are here to serve you, to help you attain a better life. We are here to create a good life for you." And they are the destroyers of life itself.

The fourth:

Keep man as miserable as possible—because a miserable man is confused, a miserable man has no self-worth, a miserable man is self-condemnatory a miserable man feels that he must have done something wrong. A miserable man has no grounding—you can push him from here and there, he can be turned into driftwood very easily. And a miserable man is always ready to be commanded, to be ordered, to be disciplined, because he knows: "On my own I am simply miserable. Maybe somebody else can discipline my life." He is a ready victim.

And the fifth:

Keep men as alienated from each other as possible, so that they cannot band together for some purpose of which the priest and the politician may not approve. Keep people separate from each other. Don't allow them too much intimacy. When people are separate, lonely, alienated from each other, they cannot band together. And there are a thousand and one tricks to keep them apart.

For example, if you are holding the hand of a man—you are a man and you are holding the hand of a man and walking down the road, singing—you will feel guilty because people will start looking at you. Are you gay, homosexual or something? Two men are not allowed to be happy together. They are not allowed to hold hands, they are not allowed to hug each other. They are condemned as homosexuals. Fear arises. If your friend comes and takes your hand in his hand, you look around: "Is somebody looking or not?" And you are just in a hurry to drop the hand.





You shake hands in such a hurry. Have you watched it? You just touch each other's hand and shake and you are finished. You don't hold hands, you don't hug each other; you are afraid. Do you remember your father hugging you, ever? Do you remember your mother hugging you after you became sexually mature? Why not? Fear has been created. A young man and his mother hugging?—maybe some sex will arise between them, some idea, some fantasy. Fear has been created: the father and the son, no; the father and the daughter, no. The brother and the sister no; the brother and the brother—no!

People are kept in separate boxes with great walls around them. Everybody is classified, and there are a thousand and one barriers. Yes, one day, after twenty-five years of all this training, you are allowed to make love to your wife. But now the training has gone too deep into you, and suddenly you don't know what to do. How to love? You have not learned the language. It is as if a person has not been allowed to speak for twenty-five years. Just listen: For twenty-five years he has not been allowed to speak a single word and then suddenly you put him on a stage and tell him, "Give us a great lecture." What will happen? He will fall down, then and there. He may faint, he may die . . . twenty-five years of silence and now suddenly he is expected to deliver a great lecture? It is not possible.

This is what is happening! Twenty-five years of antilove, of fear, and then suddenly you are legally allowed—a license is issued and now you can love this woman. "This is your wife, you are her husband, and you are allowed to love." But where are those twenty-five years of wrong training going to go? They will be there.

Yes, you will "love" . . . you will make a gesture. It is not going to be explosive, it is not going to be orgasmic; it will be very tiny. That's why you are frustrated after making love—ninety-nine percent of people are frustrated after making love, more frustrated than they have ever been before. And they feel, "What is this? There is nothing! It is 'not true!"

First, the priest and the politician have managed that you should not be able to love, and then they come and they preach that there is nothing significant in love. And certainly their preaching looks right, their preaching looks exactly in tune with your experience. First they create the experience of futility, of frustration—then, their teaching. And both look logical together, of a piece. This is a great trick, the greatest that has ever been played upon man.

These five things can be managed through a single thing, and that is the taboo against love. It is possible to accomplish all these objectives by somehow preventing people from loving each other. And the taboo has been managed in such a scientific way. This taboo is a great work of art—great skill and great cunningness have gone into it. It is really a masterpiece! This taboo has to be understood.

First, it is indirect, it is hidden. It is not apparent, because whenever a taboo is too obvious, it will not work. The taboo has to be very hidden, so you don't know how it works. The taboo has to be so hidden that you cannot even imagine that thing against it is possible. The taboo has to go into the unconscious, not into the conscious. How to make it so subtle and so indirect?

The trick is: First go on teaching that love is great, so people never think that the priests and the politicians are against love. Go on teaching that love is great,, that love is the right thing, and then don't allow any situation where love can happen. Don't allow the opportunity. Don't give any opportunity, and go on teaching that food is great, that eating is a great joy; "Eat as well as you can"—but don't supply anything to eat. Keep people hungry and go on talking about love. So all the priests go on talking about love. Love is praised as highly as anything, just next to God, and denied every possibility of happening. Directly they encourage it; indirectly they cut its roots. This is the masterpiece.

No priests talk about how they have done the harm. It is as if you go on saying to a tree, "Be green, bloom, enjoy," and you go on cutting the roots so that the tree cannot be green. And when the tree is not green you can jump upon the tree and say, "Listen! You don't listen. You don't follow us. We all go on saying 'Be green, bloom, enjoy dance' . . ." and meanwhile you go on cutting the roots.

Love is denied so much—and love is the rarest thing in the world; it should not be denied. If a man can love five persons, he should love five. If a man can love fifty, he should love fifty. If a man can love five hundred, he should love five hundred. Love is so rare that the more you can spread it the better. But there are great tricks—you are forced into a narrow, very narrow, corner. You can love only your wife, you can love only your husband, you can love only this, you can love only that—the conditions are too much. It is as if there was a law that you can breathe only when you are with your wife, you can breathe only when you are with your husband. Then breathing will become impossible! Then you will die, and you will not even be able to breathe while you are with your wife or with your husband. You have to breathe twenty-four hours a day.

Be loving.

Then there is another trick. They talk about "higher love" and they destroy the lower. They say that the lower has to be denied; bodily love is bad, spiritual love is good.

Have you ever seen any spirit without a body? Have you ever seen a house without a foundation? The lower is the foundation of the higher. The body is your abode; the spirit lives in the body, with the body. You are an embodied spirit and an ensouled body—you are together. The lower and the higher are not separate, they are one—rungs of the same ladder. The lower has not to be denied, the lower has to be transformed into the higher. The lower is good—if you are stuck with the lower the fault is with you, not with the lower. Nothing is wrong with the lower rung of a ladder. If you are stuck with it, you are stuck; it is something in you.

Move.

Sex is not wrong. You are wrong if you are stuck there. Move higher. The higher is not against the lower; the lower makes it possible for the higher to exist.

And these tricks have created many other problems. Each time you are in love somehow you feel guilty; a guilt has arisen. When there is guilt you cannot move totally into love—the guilt prevents you, it keeps vou holding on. Even while making love to your wife or your husband, there is guilt. You know this is sin, you know you are doing something wrong. "Saints don't do it"—you are a sinner. So you cannot move totally even when you are allowed, superficially, to love your wife. The priest is hidden behind you in your guilt; he is pulling you from there, pulling your strings.

When guilt arises, you start feeling that you are wrong; you lose self-worth, you lose self-respect. And another problem arises: When there is guilt you start pretending. Mothers and fathers don't allow their children to know that they make love, they pretend. They pretend that sex does not exist. Their pretension will be known by the children sooner or later. When the children come to know about the pretension, they lose all trust. They feel betrayed, they feel cheated.

And fathers and mothers say that their children don't respect them— you are the cause of it, how can they respect you? You have been deceiving them in every way, you have been dishonest, you have been mean. You were telling them not to fall in love—"Beware!" and you were making love all the time. And the day will come, sooner or later, when they will realize that even their father, even their mother was not true with them. How can they respect you?

First, guilt creates pretension. Then pretension creates alienation from people. Even the child, your own child, will not feel in tune with you. There is a barrier—your pretension. One day you will come to know that you are just pretending and so are others. When everybody is pretending, how can you relate? When everybody is false, how can you relate? How can you be friendly when everywhere there is deception and deceit? You become very, very sore about reality, you become very bitter. You see it only as a devil's workshop.

And everybody has a false face, nobody is authentic. Everybody is carrying masks, nobody shows his original face. You feel guilty, you feel that you are pretending and you know that everybody else is pretending. Everybody is feeling guilty and everybody has become just like an ugly wound. Now it is very easy to make these people slaves—to turn them into clerks, stationmasters, schoolmasters, deputy collectors, ministers, governors, presidents. Now it is very easy to distract them. You have distracted them from their roots.

THOUGHTS: WHY PEOPLE LIKE DRAMA IN THEIR LIFE

Why people have such a need for drama in their life. People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let's look at a few examples.

Time moves from left to right. Happiness from bottom to top. Let's look at a very common story arc. The story of Cinderella.

It starts with her awful life with evil stepsisters, scrubbing the fireplace. Then she get an invitation to the ball! Things look up. Then the fairy godmother makes her a dress and a coach. Even better! Then she goes to the ball, and dances with the prince! This is great! But then it's midnight. She has to go. Oh no. Sadness. Back to her humdrum life scrubbing the fireplace. But it's not as bad as before, because she's had this encouraging experience. Then, the prince finds her, and the happiness factor is off the chart! Happily ever after. People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.

It's an ordinary day in an ordinary town. But something horrible happens! A child falls down a well! The whole town gathers to save her. Old grudges surface, but are belittled in the light of this tragedy. Rifts are bonded as people work together. The child is saved, and all is well. But notice it's a little better than it was before, now that this incident has brought them all closer together. “People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.” But the problem is, life is really like this...

Our lives drifts along with normal things happening. Some ups, some downs, but nothing to go down in history about. Nothing so fantastic or terrible that it'll be told for a thousand years. “But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none.” That's why people invent fights. That's why we're drawn to sports. That's why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal. We're trying to make our life into a fairy tale.

VIDEO:Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share

PERSONAL/THOUGHTS: WHEN THINGS DON'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN

We each have a grand plan for our life based on age. My was something like this:

•    In my teens, I’ll get into a good college and become a doctor
•    In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
•    By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
•    In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
•    In my forties,I will be just doing what I am doing.
•    In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
•    In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.

Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchange a couple of details and these types of age confined dreams are quite universal. So what happens when things don’t go as expected? What happens when instead of two kids in our thirties,  you end up divorce and having your heart in two pieces? You feel broken; not only is my was heart shattered, my self-perception also.

This just was not supposed to happen to me at this age! but I have to believe that the universe has something better in store.I have to have hope. I have never, ever seen a case where someone who has embraced the changes in their life did not end up happier. I will too. My past relationship(s) were not a waste of time. Everything that has happened has made me who I am  today and ahead awaits an even greater experience.

Right now I am alone and scared.I am afraid of getting older and being alone. I am not suppose to tell you that..but why not just be honest. On this website there are thousands of visitors (no exaggeration) looking to get over an old love in order to find a new one. I know that I am not alone. The times have changed and people are looking to be in a healthy, loving relationship. As such, there is no dearth of available women. I have gone through the stepped process for recovery and I am ready to dating again.

I feel like damaged good.  Almost all of us have had experiences which have left us feeling less than perfect; I have always been puzzled by the statement when I tell them .... “I am divorced.

I really feel like a new person; one who is genuinely happy with my life, and surrounded by amazing people who care about me — an overall good life. I am very lucky, but I assumed that after my divorce, despite all this, I would never want to be in a relationship again, and never ever believed I would fall in love.

But something in me has changed. Two of my good friends, who are dating, are clearly so in love with one another. It is just a beautiful thing to see. And it is not just the love. It is the mutual respect, joy, care, and laughter that just flow from them both. It is wonderful. It is what you wish for all those you care about to find in this world. It just fills me with joy that two people I care about have found someone who really understands how special and fantastic they each are.

So, I decided that I couldn’t close that part of my life off. I have met women who were nice, some not so nice, but each person I encountered helped me realize what I wanted.

PERSONAL/DATING: ONCE UPON A TIME

Once upon a time my heart fell in love and it wasn’t ordinary everyday, simple love. It was the need you,want you, can’t be without you kind of love I would smile for hours so thankful that I found you.So sure and so positive you were exactly where I was meant to be. And I couldn’t imagine that a day or time would ever come and change everything about our life and love
But it did.Time, trials and troubles have taken us on a rollercoaster that sometimes didn’t seem to end and before we knew it our hearts were tired So tired and worn out from all we had seen,all we had been through and all we’d experienced and love somehow turned into comfort the comfort of knowing someone was there. But those feelings of excitement and passion somehow faded along the way and now we’re left wondering just where it all went. I believe we can find love again because love is where it all began and once upon a time you were all my dreams come true.

I want to love and be loved again,I want to laugh and to cry,To feel the uncertainty loving bestows.And the hope that a glance can be the beginning of everything. I want to live over my dreams that are gone,

So many people think that everything in life is determined by destiny, and it's true that a lot of what we experience is brought our way by the universe. However, when it comes to what is sent our way, I believe we play a big part in what comes through to us, and what doesn't come through to us. It has to do with how open we are to receiving what the universe is offering us. For example, It seem like every woman is looking for a guy who is nice, funny, has a job, attractive, close to their family..ect. And yet here I am, with most of  the things they are looking for, but yet they pass me over.

I want to fall in love again.I miss the feeling. I miss the joy. It was like being under the sun and melting. It was like being under the moon and shining..I want to love again. But…my heart is scared. I could not feel it. It may be missing. It might have died a tragic death the lies, the betrayals and the hurt. I don’t think it could endure again. My heart is full of doubt,afraid to take step for I might fall down again, be stepped upon, crashed and broken I want to fall in love again but my heart is SCARED.

I need you like the earth yearns for rain. I want you a remedy for my loneiness. As flowers live for sunlight,so my soul desires your touch.The lifeline to my being I have never needed one so much. Don't deny me of my wishes. Don't lengthen or add to my sorrow.Only you hold the answer

Coming home to someone is many things. It is more than the sound of the key turning in the door and the voice that calls from the porch. It is a choice, a promise, a declaration. It is a return, not as a person to a place, but as oneself to another. It is one individual saying to another: ‘You are the one I choose’.

If you want to feel in love again, you need to act in love again. Acting in love might entail greeting your partner at the door and giving him a hug as you say, “Wow I’ve really missed you.”Love is in the small, everyday gestures that say, “You are important to me.”

We all long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but at the critical point, we often draw back. You see, there is no such thing as "painless love." The closer we come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain.I would say that all of us have been hurt in a relationship before. The question is, how do you handle that hurt?

PERSONAL/JOURNAL/DATING: YESTERYEARS LOVE

I was thinking about loving and being loved recently and personally, I believe we may never feel the love of our yesteryears. Oh never say never!  Reality is the love I felt in our youth is forever gone.  The newness, the fresh uninhibited, the take my breath away love, is this truly love or lust?  In my youth was I blinded by lust and thought it was love?  

My thoughts about love are… There are many ways in which to love another, many depths of love itself.  Maybe this is why we have different feelings for different people, friends, family and people who move through our life. The question is …Will I feel loved again?

I believe I can, but the love of today will not feel or be the same as when I was younger.  It can be wonderful, wonderful for us individually just not as it was.  For many we are dreaming or even chasing the feeling of love we once felt and if we are  lucky to find love in another we often throw it away because it didn’t or wasn’t the same as what we had expected.

How can the feeling of love be the same as in our younger years if we are not the same as when we were younger?  What we have to understand is as we have grown and experienced life our feelings for life and others have also evolved.  Things, situations and relationships we once, thought were so important in our lives we have come to understand their true meaning.  We begin to see value and appreciate the smaller things in life.

With this being said, this is where love lies…in the value and appreciate of our self, our friendships and those who have touched us through our lives.  When we can get beyond the dreaming and chasing of love and truly begin to cherish what is before us we begin to see the open door of what can be.  For you see in order to feel love we have to be able to release the hurt and fear of yesteryears. We MUST be able to allow ourselves to give love and to be open to receive such love in return.  We need to begin to have faith in tomorrow and most of all appreciate life today.

The love I hope to find soon has its foundation built on years of experience and value. This love has all the functions of love from yesteryears the elements of feelings from within.  For you see one can achieve this love only if we believe and allow ourselves to truly love again.

Will I feel love again?  I know I will because just like everyone else, we all have the ability to give and receive love… We as individuals just need to make the choice.

 

SPIRITUAL/DATING: WHY YOU FEEL EMPTY

I always sensed there was some mysterious cosmic order to things, but I could never figure out how it applied to my own life.

We were taught a very bad philosophy, a way of looking at the world that contradicts who we are. We were taught to think thoughts like competition, struggle, sickness, finite resources, limitation, guilt, bad, death, scarcity, and loss.We were taught that things like grades, being good enough, money, and doing things the right way, are more important than love.
We were taught that we’re separate from other people, that we have to compete to get a head, that we’re not quite good enough the way we are.We were taught to see the world the way that others had come to see it.Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we learned here.
The spiritual journey is the relinquishment, or unlearning, of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts

Love isn’t seen with the physical eyes or heard with the physical ears. The physical senses can’t perceive it; it’s perceived through another kind of vision. Love requires a different kind of “seeing” than we’re used to – a different kind of knowing or thinking. Love is the intuitive knowledge of our hearts. Love isn’t material.  It’s energy.  It’s the feeling in a room, a situation, a person. It has nothing at all to do with the physical world, but it can be expressed nonetheless. We experience it as kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgment, joining, and intimacy.


What I learned is that the change we’re really looking for is inside our heads. Change in life is always going to happen; they part of the human experience. What can change, however, is how we perceive those experiences.  

 I began to realize that taking love seriously would be a complete transformation of my thinking. Surrender to God means surrender to love.The mind that’s separate from God has forgotten how to check in with love before it saunters out into the world.  The mind’s function is to experience love.To surrender to God means to let go and just love.  By affirming that love is our priority in a situation, we actualize the power of God. Through a mental decision a conscious recognition of love’s importance Love is energy. Very few people feel enough love in their lives.  The world has become a rather loveless place.  We can hardly even imagine a world in which all of us were in love all the time, with everyone. Most of us are violent people – not necessarily physically, but emotionally.  We have been brought up in a world that does not put love first, and where love is absent, fear sets in.  Fear is to love as darkness is to light.  It’s a terrible absence of what we need in order to survive.  Fear is the root of all evil.  It’s the problem with the world.


We get in life, that which we focus on.  Continual focus on darkness leads us, as individuals and as a society, further into darkness.  Focus on the light brings us into the light.Very few of us were taught that we’re essentially good.  Very few of us were given sense of unconditional approval, a feeling that we’re precious because of what we are, not what we do.We were raised by people who were raised the same way we were.What we lost was a sense of our own power.  And what we learned was fear, fear that we weren’t good enough, just the way we are.

No thoughts are neutral. Taking responsibility for our lives, then, means taking responsibility for our thoughts. The purpose of life is to grow into our perception.  Once we call on God, everything that could anger us is on the way.  Why? Because the place where we go into anger instead of love, is our wall.  Any situation that pushes our buttons is a situation where we don’t yet have the capacity to unconditionally love. It’s the universe’s job to draw our attention to that, and help us move beyond that point.


What if we truly believed there is a God – a beneficent order to things, a force that’s holding things together without our conscious control? You and I are integral parts of that system, too.  We can let our lives be directed by the same force that makes flowers grow – or we can do it ourselves. To trust in the force that moves the universe is faith.  Faith isn’t blind, it’s visionary.  Faith believes that the universe is on our side, and that the universe knows what it’s doing. Without faith, we’re frantically trying to control what it is not our business to control, and fix what it is not incur power to fix. Violation of these laws doesn’t bespeak a lack of goodness; just a lack of intelligence.

When we surrender to God, we surrender to something bigger than ourselves – to a universe that knows what its doing. Surrender means, by definition, giving up attachment to results. To place something in the hands of God is to give it over, mentally, to the protection and care of the beneficence of the universe.Surrender is process of emptying the mind.Surrender means the decision to stop fighting the world, and to start loving it instead.

A return to inner peace.  We’re not asking for something outside us to change, but for something inside us to change.  We’re looking for a softer orientation to life. Our greatest tool for changing the world is our capacity to change our mind about the world.  If we think we’re magnificent creatures with an infinite abundance of love and power to give, then we tend to behave that way. We have a mission – to save the world through the power of love. To heal the world through the power of love.  This has very little to do with verbal communication, and everything to do with a quality of human energy. To teach is to demonstrate. Our job as a teacher of God, should we choose to accept it, is to constantly seek a greater capacity for love and forgiveness within ourselves.  We do this through a “selective remembering,” a conscious decision to remember only loving thoughts and let go of any fearful ones.  This is the meaning of forgiveness


Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it.  If we’re frantic, life will be frantic.  If we’re peaceful, life will be peaceful.  And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace. Our internal state determines our experience of our lives; our experiences do not determine our internal state. Real transformation of the world comes not from what we’re doing, but from the consciousness with which we’re doing it.

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.  As you see him, you will see yourself.  As you treat him, you will treat yourself.  As you think of him, you will think of yourself.  Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.

The attainment of inner peace.  Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love.The ego is the great fault-finder.  It seeks out the faults in us and others. Forgiveness is “selective remembering” – a conscious decision to focus on love and let the rest go. The last thing I wanted to be told was that the only error was an error in my own thinking.People who do make us angry, however, are our most important teachers.  They indicate the limits to our capacity for forgiveness.

 If a person behaves unlovingly, then, that means that, regardless of their negativity – anger or whatever – their behavior was derived from fear and doesn’t actually exist.  They’re hallucinating.  You forgive them, then, because there’s nothing to forgive.When someone has behaved unlovingly –when they yell at us, or lie about us, or steal from us –they have lost touch with their essence.  They have forgotten who they are.  But everything that someone does, is either love or a call for love.  If someone treats us with love, then of course love is the appropriate response.  If they treat us with fear, we are to see their behavior as a call for love.


 The spiritual path involves taking conscious responsibility for what we choose to perceive. People are not perfect – that is, they do not yet express externally their internal perfection. What we think of as people’s guilt is their fear.  All negativity derives from fear.  When someone is angry, they are afraid. When someone is rude, they are afraid. When someone is manipulative, they are afraid.  When someone is cruel, they are afraid.  There is no fear that love does not dissolve. There is no negativity that forgiveness does not transform.If we want to be rid of fear, we cannot fight it but must replace it with love. The miracle is a shift in our own thinking:  the willingness to keep our own heart open, regardless of what’s going on outside us.

Relationships are assignments.  They are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, a blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. No meetings are accidental. “Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship.” There are three levels of teaching in relationship.  The first level is what we think of as a casual encounter, such as two strangers meeting in an elevator or students who “happen” to walk home from school together.  The second level is a “more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate.”  The third level of teaching is a relationship which, once formed, lasts all our lives.  At this level, “each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning.”

·         It is mostly in causal encounters that we are given a chance to practice the fine art of chiselling away the hard edges of our personalities.Relationships are eternal.  They are of the mind, not the body, since people are energy, not physical substance. Often we see a couple who has separated or divorced and look with sadness at the ‘failure’ of their relationship.  But if both people learned what they were meant to learn, then that relationship was a success.

People who have the most to teach us are often the ones who reflect back to us the limits to our own capacity to love, those who consciously or unconsciously challenge our fearful positions.They show us our walls.  Our walls are our wounds – the place where we feel we can’t love any more, can’t connect any more deeply; can’t forgive past a certain point.We are in each other’s lives in order to help us see where we most need healing, and in order to help us heal.

The search for the perfect person to “fix” us is one of our biggest psychic wounds, and one of the ego’s most powerful delusions.  Our desire to find one “special person”  who will complete us, is hurtful because it is delusional.  It means we’re seeking salvation in separation rather than in oneness.  The only love that completes us is the love of God, and the love of God is the love of everyone.  That doesn’t mean that the form of our relationships is the same with everyone, but it means that we are seeking the same content in every relationship; a quality of love and friendship that goes beyond the changes of form and bodies.

 A relationship is not meant to be the joining at the hip of two emotional invalids.  The purpose of a relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather for two complete people to join together for the greater glory of God

For an bad relationship is based on differences, where each one thinks the other has what he has not.  They come together, each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think that there is nothing left to steal, and then move on.  And  so they wander through a world of strangers, unlike themselves, living with their bodies perhaps under a common roof that shelters neither; in the same room and yet a world apart.A good relationship starts from a different premise.  Each one has looked within and seen no lack. Accepting his completion, he would extend it by joining with another; whole as himself.  How do we find a holy relationship? Not by asking God to change our partners, but by asking God to change our minds.

 Spiritual progress is like a detoxification.  Things have to come up in order to be released.  Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface.  A relationship that is used by becomes a place where our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into our conscious awareness.  We never get crazy like we do around the people we’re really attracted to.  Then we can see our dysfunctions clearly; and when we’re ready, ask God to show us another way.

 God’s idea of a “good relationship” and the ego’s idea of one are completely different. To the ego, a good relationship is one in which another person basically behaves the way we want them to and never presses our buttons, never violates our comfort zones.  But if a relationship exists to support our growth, then in many ways it exists to do just those things; force us out of our limited tolerance and inability to love unconditionally.  We’re not aligned with God until people can behave in any way they choose to, and our own inner peace isn’t shaken.We love purely when we release other people to be who they are. The ego seeks intimacy through control and guilt. Love seeks intimacy through acceptance and release.

Rejecting another human being simply because they are human has become a collective neurosis.  People ask, “When will my soul mate get here?”  But praying for the right person is useless if we’re not ready to receive him.  Our soul mates are human beings, just like we are, going through the normal processes of growth.  No one is ever “finished.” Love is a decision.  Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives.  They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves. Our pain doesn’t come from the love we weren’t given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren’t giving in the present.  Salvation is only found in the present. We don’t get to the light through endless investigation of the darkness.  After a certain point, the discussion always becomes circular.  The only way to the light is through entering the light.

We think we’re need to understand people in order to figure out whether or not they’re worthy of our love, but that actually, until we love them, we can never understand them.  What is not loved is not understood.  We hold ourselves separate from people and wait for them to earn our love.  But people deserve our love because of what God created them to be. As long as we’re waiting for them to be anything better, we will constantly be disappointed. When we choose to join with them, through approval and unconditional love, the miracle kicks in for both parties.  This is the primary key, the ultimate miracle, in relationships.

And so it is that, in relationships as well, we’re brought together for real work.  Real work can only occur in the presence of rigorous honesty.  We all long for that, but we are afraid of honestly communicating with another person because we think they’ll leave us if they see who we really are.It’s far better to communicate than to suppress our feelings.  Anger is often a result of a series of uncommunicated feelings building up inside of us and ultimately exploding. In a good relationship, we consider it part of our commitment to stay current in the honest expression of our feelings, and to support our partner in doing the same. Couples that they agree not to break up a relationship because a fight. It’s very important to have a safe space for fighting.  I say that because fighting isn’t always fighting. Once I was having a “dramatic discussion” with a friend.  A mutual friend of ours spoke up and said, “I can’t stand the way you guys are fighting” “We’re not fighting, we were having a passionate conversation.'

An outburst of emotion doesn’t have to be so quickly labelled anger. It’s a release of energy and doesn’t have to be thought of as a negative or “unspiritual” emotion. The unhealthiest thing you can do with anger is to deny you have it. The miraculous perspective is not to pretend you’re not angry, but rather to say, “I’m angry but I’m willing not to be.  Dear God, please show me what it is I’m not seeing.”  There is a way of sharing our anger with people, without expressing it as an attack. Instead of saying, for instance, “You made me feel this or that,” you say, “This is how I’m feeling.  I’m not saying you made me feel this way, or that you’re to blame. I’m simply sharing this as part of my healing, in order to release this feeling and move beyond it.” Miracles arise from total communication given and received.If anger isn’t brought up into conscious awareness, it has no place to go. It either turns into an attack on self or an inappropriate unconscious attack on others.

We often must become painfully aware of the unworkability of a pattern before we’re willing to give it up. It often seems, in fact, that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves.  Life doesn’t actually get worse; it’s just that we feel our own transgressions more because we’re no longer anesthetized by unconsciousness.

It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last t the rest of our lives. So what are we to do with our fear, our anger, and the clouds that cover the love inside us? Relinquish them to the God. He transforms them through love, and never through an attack on another person.  It is attack, not the anger itself, which is destructive.

The price you pay for not taking responsibility for your own pain is the failure to realize they you can change your conditions by changing your thoughts.The only way that I can accept someone’s finding me wonderful, is if I find myself wonderful.  But to the ego self-acceptance is death.  This is why we’re attracted to people who don’t want us…..The reason we’re not attracted to them is because we’re not available ourselves.

We heal through noticing  Awareness alone does not heal us. If analysis by itself could heal our wounds, we would all be healed by now. Until the choice is made to do it differently, you just keep going around in circles. When we give up the childish obsession with scanning the planet for Mr. or Ms Right, we can begin to develop the skills of compassionate relationship.  We stop judging people and start relating to them instead.We recognize, first and foremost, that we’re not in a relationship to focus on how well the other person is learning their lessons, but rather to focus on learning our own.

Unconditional love I could understand, but not unconditional dating. To communicate is to join and to attack is to separate.  Accepting people as they are has the miraculous affect of helping them improve.  Acceptance doesn’t prohibit growth; rather, it fosters it. People who are always telling us what’s wrong with us don’t help us so much as they paralyze us with shame and guilt.  People who accept us help us to feel good about ourselves, to relax, to find our way. Accepting another person doesn’t mean we ever share constructive suggestions.But like everything else, our behavior is not so much the issue as the energy that it carries.…communicate from love instead of attack.…the key to communication is not what we say, but rather the attitude that lies behind what we say.The choice to join is the key to communication because it is the key to communion.  The point is not to seek our goal in a communication, but to find a pure ground of being from which to mount our message.

Commitment in a relationship means commitment to the process of mutual understanding and forgiveness – no matter how many conversations it takes, nor how uncomfortable those conversations might sometimes be.Ultimately you discover that how the person treated the last one is exactly how they’ll treat you. Love is not neutral.  It takes a stand. Why is marriage a more profound commitment than other forms of relationship, such as a couple who are living together? Because it is an agreement that, while a whole lot of shaking and screaming might go on, no one’s going to leave the room.  We don’t get married to escape the world; we get married to heal it together.

There is no coming to consciousness without forgiving our parents. We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present. Forgiveness remains the only path that leads out of hell.

With work..realize that you are here to represent God who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.  I am content to be wherever He wishes,  Success means we go to sleep at night knowing that our talents and abilities were used in a way that served others. We’re compensated by grateful looks in people’s eyes, whatever material abundance supports us in performing joyfully and at high energy, and the magnificent feeling that we did our bit today to save the world.  The Atonement means putting love first.  In everything.  In business as well as everything else. You’re in business to spread love.The question to ask is, “When I do anything, how should I do it?” And the answer is, “Kindly.”.Remember that my real job is to love the world back to health.No matter what form our job or activity takes, the content is the same as everyone else’s:  we are here to minister to human hearts.  If we talk to anyone, or see anyone, or even think of anyone, then we have the opportunity to bring more love into the universe. The choice to be used as an instrument of love, right here, right now, is a choice for personal empowerment.People don’t come into your place of business so that you can get anything.  They’re sent so that you can give them love.…if the purpose of my career is to channel God’s love, them I’m only there to open my heart, open my brain and open my mouth. The miraculous transformation here is from a sales mentality to a service mentality.God, please use me” is the most powerful affirmation we can say for an abundant career

In God’s world, there’s only one work going on, and that’s the preparation of His teachers, those who demonstrate love. “Dear God, I surrender this situation to you.  May it be used for your purposes?  I ask only that my heart be open to give love and to receive love.  May all the results unfold according to your will?  Amen” Whatever you do, do it for God.Heaven is a conscious choice to defy the ego’s voice.At the highest level of our being, we don’t do anything. We’re at rest when the power of God works through us.

THOUGHT/SURRENDERING: FINDING LOVE AND NOT JUST SEX

Sex is too easy.

Work out, put on nice clothes, talk to girl, tease her, tell her cool things about me, pretend to be interested in her, fuck her.

See?

Too fucking easy.

It’s stupid.

I don’t give a shit about sex. Any broad can spread her legs.

You know what I do care about? Holding girls to a higher standard.

Why? Because my seed is liquid fucking gold and I don’t give it out like its god damn tap water.

See girls, your pussy is powerless to me. What else you got?

You slip on a tight skirt and throw on some makeup and flaunt those nice tits and think your job is done. You shit-test me all the way into the bedroom expecting me to give you amused mastery and show you my status and give you attention and ignore you just right all at the same time, and then you’ll give me sex.

But why should I give you my valuable time and let you revel in my charisma?

Sex, is that the big deal? I’m supposed to feel so grateful that you blessed me with that magical unicorn pussy of yours?

I got news for you girls. For a guy with any clue, finding sex is as easy as finding a pizzeria in New York, and like pizza in New York, its all pretty fucking good.

Your brand ‘aint that special.

Sex is everywhere and anywhere I want it, I don’t give a shit about yours.

It takes more than a nice curve of the ass or a bat of the eyelashes to earn my seed.

My salty essence and genetic code is a gift from my father, and his father, and his father, and on it goes. Its the sticky genetic code of self-sufficient men who have protected and provided for family, women and children. Its the haplogroup of men who built civilization. I have the genetic lineage of warriors, business owners, firefighters, blacksmiths, farmers, herders, poets, politicians, soldiers, artists and even chefs. Hard jobs that help build the world, thinking jobs that help build a culture, they’ve all been done by men in my bloodline. My ceiling for accomplishment is limitless.

I’m not some average guy begging to give my seed away. My seed is valuable and I know it.

Men of lesser genetics may be able to afford spraying their seed anywhere; I allow myself no such atrocities.

My sperm could populate an entire society of strong good looking altruistic people and any girl who takes it in would be lucky to be a vessel towards that new world.

But for that I demand a high price.

Whether or not our sex is intended to end in pregnancy makes no difference. Just the sheer fact that it could makes me demand the same high price.

You better have enviable genetics yourself- I don’t breed with inferior stock. Beauty is the minimum and you better know how important that is. Long hair grown to impress me, healthy diet and exercise to maintain your figure and viability of your eggs.

But the beauty that draws the stares, stutters and drools of lesser men won’t capture my attention for more than a millisecond. I am inundated with a surplus of beauty in my daily pursuits, I can assure you that yours ‘aint that special. You probably look like shit first thing in the morning or on the first day of your period.

I expect impeccable hygiene and classy style. A body tainted by tattoos and excessive piercings and slutty clothing signals you are available for sex to lesser men than myself. I’ll have none of that.

I demand a low N count to show you value your body and sex, and the seed I am about to give you will be appreciated on the level it deserves. A low N count shows both intelligence and confidence as you are smart enough not to give your body to charlatans and scoundrels, and confident enough to wait for the high value man you know you deserve.

I expect manners and grace. No swearing, drunkenness, burping, sarcasm or anything else unbecoming of a lady. I spend a lot of time working with and competing against men in my daily life, the last thing I need is the company of a woman who acts like the men I must compete with. You exist to soothe, not to grate.

A year from now I will be richer and fitter and more socially respected in the Kingdom, but your beauty will have faded a notch. I demand that you treat me with the humility and respect that this biological reality dictates.

Finally, there is nothing I despise more than a woman who shows any disgust for my jizz.
It is the Royal Essence and you better enjoy every last drop.
If it lands on your face, chest or back, consider it raindrops from heaven, a rope of Holy Yogurt.
If you are lucky enough to get it in your mouth, savor it like the nourishing nectar of the Gods.
If I shoot it inside you consider it the greatest compliment of all. You will feel an immediate buzz.
My jizz is to women what Walter White’s pure blue meth is to junkies.
You’ll take my seed, sweetly tell me “thank you sir” and buzz with happy feminine energy for the next day while you iron my fine shirts and indulge in memories of me.

I’ll settle for nothing less.

Some girls don’t want to respect a man that much. They have been poisoned by feminism or never had a strong male figure to look up to growing up or they have already taken far too high a volume of cock to revere their next one. I have no use for those girls. Even a one-night stand with them is worthless beyond the ten-second orgasm, itself not worth the time spent to get it. Leave them for the men who have a low enough opinion of themselves to not demand such respect.

For guys, I don’t give a shit how many girls you’ve fucked just like I don’t give a shit how many pizzerias you’ve eaten at. A man is measured more by the pizzeria’s he refuses to eat at, the prices he refuses to pay for average pizza, if you know what I mean.

Remember, you set the price of your seed.

Mine is fucking gold.

What’s yours?

PERSONAL/DATING: THE IT FACTOR

Its really hard to up-sale yourself and be completely honest for this is the time to be! Not wanting to waste your time or mine. I have decided that it was time to be more serious about what I want.. With that being said, I am just a man who is looking for that one woman who can be my best friend with the "it" factor. I want someone who thinks I am amazing and challenges me to be better. I want to be that for them. The "IT" factor...“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak  when they walk into a room and smile at you.” Are you looking for things we may have in common? Well, Traveling is on my list of things I like to do. From a day road trip to a weekend getaway..I love the ocean in the winter and will go there if given a choice. My relationship with my family and friends are very important to me! My faults? Well, there aren't many...lol Just kidding. Hmmm...let me think about what my ex would say about me...I can be stubborn, I am too trusting, I tend to defend those in my life as I can see both sides to a lot of issues, I don't like confrontation and when presented with a problem will use compromise to deal with it, I like honesty and am allergic to someone who tells lies...break out in hives and start twitching uncontrollably. My strengths? I am adaptable. I am loyal, love to debate stuff(no,not argue)  I like life and feel that Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about dancing in the rain. Hmmm...so if you have gotten this far, you are probably wondering what I am looking for in a woman? Preferences definitely but that is all they are. My  two request...please be kind and either slim to athletic. I do not have the time nor the energy for drama. I am NOT looking for a booty call, a hook up, if you think I am, move on.. One last thing..  Thanks for stopping in.

PERSONAL : FROM THE DAY WE MET

From the day we met...ever since the day we met my life has been touched.My dreams have been more beautiful. The stars shine brighter then before.The sun seems so much warmer since i found someone to adore.You've changed my life in many ways. My heart has grown so strong. It's all because of you my love...it has been all along. I'm sure you know i love you. I just want to thank you too. I have no idea where i'd be if it wasn't for meeting you.

Dear You,

I might have been in on online dating for a while now.So in all honesty I don't really remember when you responded to me. But I do remember what became of our encounter. It was a chance meeting, one of hundreds I had online. You chat with someone, get to know them , possibly met and then you wave goodbye, consigning them to a small place in a distant memory

I'd finished work and came home and went to the computer and that's when I read your respond to me. So there we were, two striking up a conversation on the world wide web.. We established we were both looking for love, established we were both wanted kids, and then swapped number. Once we heard each other phone...we never stopped talking.

Before I met you, I couldn't imagine living my life with just one person. Now, I can't imagine my life without you--the idea of one day without you is painful to think about! Before I knew you, "forever" was something I had heard about, but something I couldn't fathom. Now I know that we're supposed to be together, and no matter where I am, as long as I'm with you, that's where I want to be. You are my life, my heart, my soul. Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything, and I can't imagine what I'd do without you." I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life devoted to making you happy, committed to the eternal joy we will find together.

I love you and I need you. You complete me. You're a part of every fiber of my being, and you're constantly on my mind. You must be exhausted, always running through my thoughts by day and in my dreams by night.

For someone who'd had little hope in finding love on line..it was the dream come true. Maybe I've had a little too much time on hands recently, sitting and thinking, but I've become slightly obsessed with these chance encounters you have and how they change your life. It seems like when you are online you meet far more people than you would at home, which opens you up to all of these random moments of chance. That I met you was pure luck, a timely spin of fortune's wheel. Life is like that, a thousand encounters that could change your life - and that one did.Of course, I've also had about a million chance encounters that have amounted to absolutely nothing. It's the same for most people, these random meetings with nothing to show for it. But every now and then, maybe just once, a person will cross your path online, or wherever it was, and offer to change your life. Make sure you take the chance.Big changes come out of ordinary encounters—even something as ordinary as personal ad.