I - me, my soul, my mind,
and my heart filled a great amount of . . .
LOVE - an emotion far greater than any other,
that is impossible to expalin,
and which I have a multitude for . . .
YOU - the person I care for, dream of, and adore.
2
An early morning encounter
with a beautiful woman such as yourself....
Hmmmmm.....
Treasure chest of memories....
Someday I wish to lay with a woman
such as yourself on a sandy beach
watching the sunset and listening
to your thoughts and memories...
Or, walk with you in a
field of wild flowers
hand in hand laughing joyfully
and watching the whispering
spring air run through your hair.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
ARTICLE:Millennial madness — kids without marriage By Ashley Maguire (NYPOST)
The other day, something came across my newsfeed about Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy style.
I’ll hand it to her; she’s a stylish pregnant lady. And we know this for certain now, because this is her third pregnancy with boyfriend Scott Disick.
But that’s just it. Boyfriend.
It’s head-scratching to me why a couple would have multiple children — all “planned” — but refuse to tie the knot. It seems to me, if you’re building a family together, why not make it official? Yet keeping it unofficial is becoming the new norm.
As Brad Wilcox put it in a piece for The Wall Street Journal about the parallel mysteries of falling teen pregnancy rates but soaring single-motherhood numbers for women in the next age bracket, “If 30 is the new 20, today’s unmarried 20-somethings are the new teen moms.”
Naomi Riley had an excellent piece on this phenomenon last month in The Post, “Generation Screwed.”
Millennials, my generation, have been given this nickname because we are getting slammed with record high tuition rates, a terrible job market, out-of-control entitlements, and so on. She writes:
“So you’d think that if research shows there is something that could be a surefire way of improving their economic lot, they would grab hold of it like a life preserver. Well, you’d be wrong.
“In fact, research has shown marriage to be responsible for the significant creation of wealth — yet millennials don’t seem interested. The average age of a first marriage for men is 29 and for women it’s 27.
“Many are simply not marrying at all. Almost half of children born to women under 30 are out-of-wedlock births now, according to a recent study by Child Trends, a Washington-based research group.”
It is mystifying.
While it’s easy enough to see how a generation thoroughly steeped in relativism might shrug off the moral arguments for marriage, it’s plain bizarre the way millennials seem to be outright rejecting the evidence that marriage favors them and their progeny economically.
Riley gives a litany of data that shows the way couples who marry start to quickly pass their unmarried peers when it comes to financial stability.
This data only compliments all the data that paints a crystal with a capital “C” clear picture of how important marriage is in determining the outcomes of children.
My favorite stat? Marriage drops a child’s odds of falling into poverty by 82 percent. Wind and repeat.
Eighty-two percent. Yet a recent Pew report suggests that a likely one in four millennials will never marry and that millennials are incredibly likely to say, “marriage is becoming obsolete” and rank “being a good parent” as a higher priority than “having a successful marriage.”
But what millennials just don’t seem to grasp is that being a good parent is having a successful marriage. It is absolutely the most important and determinant factor for children: whether or not their parents are married.
But, according to Pew, “Millennials are less likely than adults ages 30 and older to say that a child needs a home with both a father and mother to grow up happily and that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.”
Kourtney and Scott don’t need to worry about money, and most likely their kids won’t either.
But we ordinary millennials can’t afford to follow in their tracks. We owe our generation and our children a future. As Riley put it, “Looks like the Screwed Generation is raising the really screwed one.”
We may feel powerless against mounting national woes like ballooning student debt. But we are fools to leave our most powerful weapon, a social bazooka, if you will, just lying there in the dust. Marriage is ours to reclaim. What’s stopping us?
If it’s fear that things won’t work out, we can take courage in knowing we have an unprecedented amount of knowledge about what makes marriage work and what makes marriage fail.
We can marry smart. Divorce rates are falling. We don’t have to make the mistakes our parents’ generation made.
The only mistake we risk making is to write off marriage, or rather to devalue its power in bettering our lives emotionally and financially and to try in vain to untie it from the children we say we want to have.
Friday, November 7, 2014
PERSONAL: THE NIGHT BRINGS LONELINESS
The night brings loneliness to so many people everywhere, the hope of finding someone to be there with them through the lonely nights is in all of their prayers. They go through the day with the hope of finding someone to be there for them but, as night approches and the light goes dim, The loneliness of the night is upon them once again, and once more they look forward to tomorrow with the hope of adding true love to their plans.
The night is so lonely when you have to go to bed alone, as you pull your pillow close to you, the loneliness grows so strong. for, you long for the arms of someone to hold you tight but, at this moment, the hope of having this happen, is nowhere in sight. You wonder to yourself, will
this special person ever come along, to be there for you after a hard day on the job, to greet you with
"honey, I love you" when you get home.
As you lay there and look out of your window into the night sky, at the stars which shine so bright,
you find yourself praying to God with all of your might. That he will bless you with someone that will love you and always be there, and in your mind you will know that God still answers prayers.
And one day that special someone will come along, and after so many lonely nights all by yourself, you will realize that you made it through one of life's toughest storms..... loneliness. You close your eyes and you see the love of your life standing there with a smile, you look and see her again and the tears start to flow, for this is the moment you have waited for,
You realize that this is the moment that you have longed for, as you get closer and look at her, with tears flowing down your face, all your hopes and dreams are now so close, and not as far. From this moment on, you will never be alone, Arm in arm you both will go, so much in love as you head for the door, never to be alone anymore.
But, as you lay there in your bed, you open your eyes and realize it was only a dream and the
loneliness of the night goes on for, you are still all alone in your home. But the dream has given you
new hope to another day, that someone special will come your way.
So, once again you close your eyes in restfull sleep for, this night as with all the ones before, was only a repeat, of how the night brings loneliness
The night is so lonely when you have to go to bed alone, as you pull your pillow close to you, the loneliness grows so strong. for, you long for the arms of someone to hold you tight but, at this moment, the hope of having this happen, is nowhere in sight. You wonder to yourself, will
this special person ever come along, to be there for you after a hard day on the job, to greet you with
"honey, I love you" when you get home.
As you lay there and look out of your window into the night sky, at the stars which shine so bright,
you find yourself praying to God with all of your might. That he will bless you with someone that will love you and always be there, and in your mind you will know that God still answers prayers.
And one day that special someone will come along, and after so many lonely nights all by yourself, you will realize that you made it through one of life's toughest storms..... loneliness. You close your eyes and you see the love of your life standing there with a smile, you look and see her again and the tears start to flow, for this is the moment you have waited for,
You realize that this is the moment that you have longed for, as you get closer and look at her, with tears flowing down your face, all your hopes and dreams are now so close, and not as far. From this moment on, you will never be alone, Arm in arm you both will go, so much in love as you head for the door, never to be alone anymore.
But, as you lay there in your bed, you open your eyes and realize it was only a dream and the
loneliness of the night goes on for, you are still all alone in your home. But the dream has given you
new hope to another day, that someone special will come your way.
So, once again you close your eyes in restfull sleep for, this night as with all the ones before, was only a repeat, of how the night brings loneliness
SEX: HOTTEST SEX SCENE IN MOVIES
I want to start with the remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice with Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange has a very sexy scene about a half hour in when they do it on a kitchen table. It starts out almost as a rape but then she stops fighting him and goes crazy. He pushes her up against a wall and puts his head between her legs.Then there is a scene that drives me wild. He is pushing his hand up toward her crotch and Jessica is wearing the appropriate 1930s garter belt, stockings and white panties. We get a beautiful closeup of this.As his hand approaches her crotch, she is so hot she can't wait for him to touch her through her panties so she puts her own hand there and gives herself a squeeze. Then he puts his hand on top of hers and guides it, then she moves her hand onto the top of his, and together they caress her a few times.So very briefly, we get to see Jessica Lange masturbating. It doesn't get any better than that. I was a teenager in the movie theatre then. O how I loved seeing Jessica Langes beautiful breast touched through the dress bei Jack Nicholsons hand, to watch her legs, the stockings, the panties, softly bulging over her beautiful thing. I fantasized her blonde pubic hair. I was totally stiff and it was a great cinematic moment. Before that, when she swept the things from the desk, opened Jacks trousers. Mh! Ah! It was such an horny and explosive scene.
Another one is Risky Business when Rebecca first came into the house and asked Tom if he was ready for her? Ready? READY?! Are you kidding? The heat that came off the screen in the next few minutes was enough to melt the film projector wires. When he ran his hands up her body from behind...mmm...
I love the The Piano with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The whole movie is a lesson in understanding the object of your affection. He is intrigued by her, lusts after her, eventually falls in love with her, all the while ardently pressing his desire towards her. He comes to understand the key that unlocks her and is rewarded with her undying devotion. Incidentally, the key had less to do with sex than her sensual nature. Two scenes in this movie just about sent me over the edge.
1) Keitel's character is lying under the piano and he slowly lifts her skirt to just her knee. On the calf of her stocking, he finds a small hole into which he gently inserts one finger so he can touch the only bare skin he's been allowed to touch to that point. Very sensual moment! The look on Hunter's face was exquisite for all its depth of emotion that the touch arouses.
2) Hunter's character begins to understand HERSELF and her sensuality. There is a scene where she takes the brave step to explore this a bit. She's back at home with her painfully uptight and repressed husband (masterfully played by Sam Neill). He's asleep on the bed and she sits down beside him and begins to stroke his back up and down, using her palm, fingertips, and the back of her hand. He slowly awakens, and in that dreamy haze of half-sleep allows her to continue her sensual wanderings down his back. I love that her honest touch is starting to unlock even her stodgy husband, evidenced by his catching breaths and soft moans. Very sexy.
Monsters Ball (just plain dirty sex)
Unfaithful: Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez have sex in his bed while she shudders uncontrollably, they have sex in a theater, a bathroom stall, and have a pseudo-rape scene in the hall outside his apartment that later becomes consensual
9 1/2 weeks erotic but not sensual
And finally. The Big Easy...sigh. Dennis Quaid has been after her and she's trying to keep her professional distance and he finally 'gets to her'.In his bedroom on his bed, her face is to the camera, she's up on her knees (after telling him that she's no good at this "sex stuff"). His hand has traveled slowly up her leg and you can tell where his hand is You can tell by the look on her face what's going on, and I can damn near feel it m'self... She's getting weaker and weaker with passion and tells him to "Stop that".
Another one is Risky Business when Rebecca first came into the house and asked Tom if he was ready for her? Ready? READY?! Are you kidding? The heat that came off the screen in the next few minutes was enough to melt the film projector wires. When he ran his hands up her body from behind...mmm...
I love the The Piano with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The whole movie is a lesson in understanding the object of your affection. He is intrigued by her, lusts after her, eventually falls in love with her, all the while ardently pressing his desire towards her. He comes to understand the key that unlocks her and is rewarded with her undying devotion. Incidentally, the key had less to do with sex than her sensual nature. Two scenes in this movie just about sent me over the edge.
1) Keitel's character is lying under the piano and he slowly lifts her skirt to just her knee. On the calf of her stocking, he finds a small hole into which he gently inserts one finger so he can touch the only bare skin he's been allowed to touch to that point. Very sensual moment! The look on Hunter's face was exquisite for all its depth of emotion that the touch arouses.
2) Hunter's character begins to understand HERSELF and her sensuality. There is a scene where she takes the brave step to explore this a bit. She's back at home with her painfully uptight and repressed husband (masterfully played by Sam Neill). He's asleep on the bed and she sits down beside him and begins to stroke his back up and down, using her palm, fingertips, and the back of her hand. He slowly awakens, and in that dreamy haze of half-sleep allows her to continue her sensual wanderings down his back. I love that her honest touch is starting to unlock even her stodgy husband, evidenced by his catching breaths and soft moans. Very sexy.
Monsters Ball (just plain dirty sex)
Unfaithful: Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez have sex in his bed while she shudders uncontrollably, they have sex in a theater, a bathroom stall, and have a pseudo-rape scene in the hall outside his apartment that later becomes consensual
9 1/2 weeks erotic but not sensual
And finally. The Big Easy...sigh. Dennis Quaid has been after her and she's trying to keep her professional distance and he finally 'gets to her'.In his bedroom on his bed, her face is to the camera, she's up on her knees (after telling him that she's no good at this "sex stuff"). His hand has traveled slowly up her leg and you can tell where his hand is You can tell by the look on her face what's going on, and I can damn near feel it m'self... She's getting weaker and weaker with passion and tells him to "Stop that".
THOUGHTS: CLARK KENT VS SUPERMAN
I recently been watching Smallville ...i know ..i know...the show is old...but when it was on..I never watched it....big mistake.
Superman is my favorite superhero. That the 'S' on his chest isn't an 'S' at all, but rather represents a Kryptonian symbol for Hope.
I like that.
And when you're a kid, you throw on a red cape, some blue pants, and wear your skivvies on the outside. You run around trying to save cats from trees and pretending to fly.
Boy, that was fun.
But lets cut to adulthood. If you show up to the office like that (and it's not Halloween), people are going to throw you in the loony bin.
But I think we're all missing something. We're missing the one thing that makes Superman greater than any other hero. He was born the way he is, and chooses to lead humanity not through his examples as Superman, but through his examples as Clark Kent.
Stick with me here for a second, because this is a subtle point that I don't think they even get into in any of the comic books, but I think they should.
Superman is a god. Period. He can do things no mortal man can. He has love, adoration and immense power. And what does he choose to do with it? He chooses mild-mannered Clark Kent.
He chooses to stumble when others walk strong. He wears glasses when others have perfect vision. He bumbles his words when he's perfectly fluent.
In short, he makes others feel like superheroes, rather than peacocking his own abilities.
It's the way I've tried to live my life over the last year. Make others feel smarter, more powerful, and richer than you. Why? Because it makes them feel comfortable.
Why would I wear some fancy clothes and a shiny watch when it's only going to make other people feel bad about themselves. No. I'd rather wear a simple white t-shirt, a Nike Fuel Band, and tell them something I really admire about them.
The goal isn't to be a superhero. It's to make others feel like superheroes.
So instead of trying to be like Superman, maybe we should all try to be a little more like Clark Kent.
Superman is my favorite superhero. That the 'S' on his chest isn't an 'S' at all, but rather represents a Kryptonian symbol for Hope.
I like that.
And when you're a kid, you throw on a red cape, some blue pants, and wear your skivvies on the outside. You run around trying to save cats from trees and pretending to fly.
Boy, that was fun.
But lets cut to adulthood. If you show up to the office like that (and it's not Halloween), people are going to throw you in the loony bin.
But I think we're all missing something. We're missing the one thing that makes Superman greater than any other hero. He was born the way he is, and chooses to lead humanity not through his examples as Superman, but through his examples as Clark Kent.
Stick with me here for a second, because this is a subtle point that I don't think they even get into in any of the comic books, but I think they should.
Superman is a god. Period. He can do things no mortal man can. He has love, adoration and immense power. And what does he choose to do with it? He chooses mild-mannered Clark Kent.
He chooses to stumble when others walk strong. He wears glasses when others have perfect vision. He bumbles his words when he's perfectly fluent.
In short, he makes others feel like superheroes, rather than peacocking his own abilities.
It's the way I've tried to live my life over the last year. Make others feel smarter, more powerful, and richer than you. Why? Because it makes them feel comfortable.
Why would I wear some fancy clothes and a shiny watch when it's only going to make other people feel bad about themselves. No. I'd rather wear a simple white t-shirt, a Nike Fuel Band, and tell them something I really admire about them.
The goal isn't to be a superhero. It's to make others feel like superheroes.
So instead of trying to be like Superman, maybe we should all try to be a little more like Clark Kent.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
POETRY: UNHINGES MY SOUL
This vision approached me one night in a dream,
A vision that you were the only one for me.
We were there hand and hand.
You were my superstar; I was your greatest fan.
In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.
We were together, to never fall apart.
You fulfilled my greatest desire,
As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.
You were my angel from above.
You were all of this in my vision of love.
As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.
This one thing I promise, I will always love you.
With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.
Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.
From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.
Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.
You are my heart, thus become my dove.
You are all of this, in my vision of love
2
You took my heart
with only a single glance.
My love for you is a candle
which will always burn.
My love for you is something
you can be sure of.
The way you smile
makes every day of my life
seem worthwhile.
The look in your eyes
makes me realize
you are my one true love.
You entered my life
and completed me.
I can't begin to explain the
feelings I have for you;
when you look deep
into my eyes,
what that makes me do.
3
I never told you how you looked..
with the moon spilling from your fingers
and liquid stars, combed through your hair.
I was trying to hold your shadow in my hands
and I dreamt of sleeping.. without you beside me.
I never told you how you looked..
like an angel, when you slept---
your irridescent beauty always takes my breath away.
and it might break your heart when I say- I hate you
but it is only because- I love you
to a point of passion... that unhinges my soul.
4
I see couples
Holding hands, exchanging glances.
Smiling. Smiling at a secret only they know.
Knowledge I long to know.
Tell me.
Share your secret with me.
Tell me the story of your love,
How you came to discover it.
Was it instant?
Did her smile brighten your world?
Did she make you forget your pain?
Did he show you how beautiful it is?
Did he teach you not to be afraid?
Did he dry your tears
With the sentiment of his heart?
I see them.
Do they realize how lucky they are?
It would be easier if I were envious,
But my desire,
It grows stronger with each day.
I need to love,
To be loved.
I want to share in that knowing glance
With someone as he holds my hand.
Tell me your secret.
A vision that you were the only one for me.
We were there hand and hand.
You were my superstar; I was your greatest fan.
In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.
We were together, to never fall apart.
You fulfilled my greatest desire,
As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.
You were my angel from above.
You were all of this in my vision of love.
As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.
This one thing I promise, I will always love you.
With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.
Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.
From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.
Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.
You are my heart, thus become my dove.
You are all of this, in my vision of love
2
You took my heart
with only a single glance.
My love for you is a candle
which will always burn.
My love for you is something
you can be sure of.
The way you smile
makes every day of my life
seem worthwhile.
The look in your eyes
makes me realize
you are my one true love.
You entered my life
and completed me.
I can't begin to explain the
feelings I have for you;
when you look deep
into my eyes,
what that makes me do.
3
I never told you how you looked..
with the moon spilling from your fingers
and liquid stars, combed through your hair.
I was trying to hold your shadow in my hands
and I dreamt of sleeping.. without you beside me.
I never told you how you looked..
like an angel, when you slept---
your irridescent beauty always takes my breath away.
and it might break your heart when I say- I hate you
but it is only because- I love you
to a point of passion... that unhinges my soul.
4
I see couples
Holding hands, exchanging glances.
Smiling. Smiling at a secret only they know.
Knowledge I long to know.
Tell me.
Share your secret with me.
Tell me the story of your love,
How you came to discover it.
Was it instant?
Did her smile brighten your world?
Did she make you forget your pain?
Did he show you how beautiful it is?
Did he teach you not to be afraid?
Did he dry your tears
With the sentiment of his heart?
I see them.
Do they realize how lucky they are?
It would be easier if I were envious,
But my desire,
It grows stronger with each day.
I need to love,
To be loved.
I want to share in that knowing glance
With someone as he holds my hand.
Tell me your secret.
Monday, November 3, 2014
PERSONAL: You’re Not Reading This By Accident
You’re Not Reading This By Accident
This is meant for you. There is this feeling that universe and life is random , that unexpected things could happen, ..it might be true, but I have a feeling in the air that today is different. ...that your soul will see mine and it kind of went...."Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."
I really don't wast time with the wrong people. If I have to speculate if you loves me and wants to be with me, chances are you are not. It’s not that complicated. I hate wasting moments waiting and wondering. I don't throw away my time dreaming of someone that doesn’t want me. No one is that amazing, certainly not the one who would pass me up. No one is always busy. It’s always about priorities. You will always find time for the people that are important to you. So if respond...respond only if you want to really really be with me.
There are people who can walk away from you… and I let them walk. I am not the type of person who trys to talk another person into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, coming to see me, staying attached to me… My destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over
I know you are not going to believe me..but when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. That's what I learn.
It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
I am looking for someone who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart. And if you think that is you...then be with me and let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Be with me so we can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me..so we’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me..so we can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.
This is meant for you. There is this feeling that universe and life is random , that unexpected things could happen, ..it might be true, but I have a feeling in the air that today is different. ...that your soul will see mine and it kind of went...."Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."
I really don't wast time with the wrong people. If I have to speculate if you loves me and wants to be with me, chances are you are not. It’s not that complicated. I hate wasting moments waiting and wondering. I don't throw away my time dreaming of someone that doesn’t want me. No one is that amazing, certainly not the one who would pass me up. No one is always busy. It’s always about priorities. You will always find time for the people that are important to you. So if respond...respond only if you want to really really be with me.
There are people who can walk away from you… and I let them walk. I am not the type of person who trys to talk another person into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, coming to see me, staying attached to me… My destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over
I know you are not going to believe me..but when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. That's what I learn.
It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.
I am looking for someone who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart. And if you think that is you...then be with me and let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Be with me so we can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me..so we’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me..so we can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.
JOURNAL: ROLLER COASTER RELATIONSHIP
Years back, I promised myself that I would never, ever chase after another woman again. I understand that in our society, it’s customary for the man to seek out and court the woman. Likewise, it’s customary for the man to be persistent while the woman is expected to play it cool and brush the man off for a period of time — playing the lady card, or hard-to-get card. Sure, we don’t see much of this these days, thanks to all the twerking Mileys of our generation, but nevertheless, when a man is really interested in a woman, the fact remains that he will chase after her.
Real men know what they want and will go after it until they get it. The problem with this is that most men don’t actually know what they want and if they do, falling for a woman turns the majority of them into lovesick puppies — very hungry, lovesick puppies. If a man doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll only want it more. This turns into an obsession and all such obsessions end badly.
Back when I was still a teenager, I met a girl — so begins every hopeless love story. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. The more I liked her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was going through a rough patch in her life, and because I have a thing for damaged goods (they make me feel less crazy), the rough patch was especially rough.
She didn’t want me in her life; she wanted her independence. She had her heart broken once again, and this time around, the last thing she wanted in her life was another man. The problem was, the sex was incredible. It was so good that although she didn’t want to date me, she couldn’t let me go, either. In the meantime, I had managed to fall for her. And so began my obsession and a chase that lasted nearly two years.
I am going to save all the gloriously awful and painful details — “emotional roller-coaster” is an understatement — but my unhealthy obsession, and unwillingness not to get what I want, eventually broke down the barriers she had put up. She fell for me and I had won my prize. Now, here’s the thing: While love isn’t always felt intensely, obsession is.
Obsession, once it grabs onto you, won’t let you go. It’s filled with elongated moments of intense feeling and emotion. Thoughts of what or whom you’re obsessing over fill your mind like a dark cloud and you’re unable to distract yourself for long periods of time. You wake up thinking of her, you think of her the whole day, you go to bed thinking of her and you dream of her. But once you actually “get” her, your mind no longer has a need to think of her constantly; you have her and are now fulfilling that mental stimulation by spending much more time with her.
The intense feelings inevitably subside and you are left feeling… normal. Let me tell you, after obsessing for a long period of time, normal no longer feels normal. You begin to miss those intense emotions brought on obsession once they subside. Even worse, if you’re inexperienced, as I was, you mistake your obsession for love.
What makes regular obsessions profoundly intense obsessions is love itself; it underlies the obsession and fuels it. Not all obsessions are this soul-wrenching, but if they’re combined with love, they’re nearly unbearable. When the obsession is removed, you fall into a sort of withdrawal. Obsessions like these really are a sort of addiction. When the obsession leaves you, you’re left feeling incomplete.
Here comes the sad part. Although you know that you love her, you don’t feel that you love her. Because the beginning of your relationship was so intense, it set the bar ridiculously high. Now, everything that you feel falls short and you can’t seem to convince yourself that you are, for certain, with the right person. As human beings, we experience things comparatively: Great experiences are only great if they seem great in comparison to other experiences.
You’re still convinced that the way love is supposed to feel is the way you felt during all that time you were chasing the girl. You masked your obsession as being true love and are now unable to redefine true love — at least in regards to this specific person. The relationship is ruined. You’ll never be able to build the relationship you need because your obsession rotted away at the foundation.
Chasing love never works unless it is for a very short period of time. The problem is, once you start chasing, you begin to enjoy the chase, so you chase for a bit longer. Then, it turns into an even longer lasting chase, which inevitably turns into an obsession. If you want to turn your whole world upside down, go ahead and obsess; it’s sure to change you at a deep level. The only upside of all the pain and stress is that you will come out of it as a better person. You might come out wiser and better off than when you first started chasing, but it isn’t guaranteed that you’ll come out at of the dark tunnel at all.
The disillusionment of such obsession more often than not leaves victims depressed. Falling into a depression is much easier than climbing out of one and not all of us are able to manage the task. Obsessions are the leading cause of suicides. Clearly they aren’t all related to the chasing of women, but they are obsessions that fade and disappear, leaving the person lost and confused.
Obsessions substitute our purpose. When the obsession is lost, our purpose in life is lost with it. The only solution is finding a better purpose.
Real men know what they want and will go after it until they get it. The problem with this is that most men don’t actually know what they want and if they do, falling for a woman turns the majority of them into lovesick puppies — very hungry, lovesick puppies. If a man doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll only want it more. This turns into an obsession and all such obsessions end badly.
Back when I was still a teenager, I met a girl — so begins every hopeless love story. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. The more I liked her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was going through a rough patch in her life, and because I have a thing for damaged goods (they make me feel less crazy), the rough patch was especially rough.
She didn’t want me in her life; she wanted her independence. She had her heart broken once again, and this time around, the last thing she wanted in her life was another man. The problem was, the sex was incredible. It was so good that although she didn’t want to date me, she couldn’t let me go, either. In the meantime, I had managed to fall for her. And so began my obsession and a chase that lasted nearly two years.
I am going to save all the gloriously awful and painful details — “emotional roller-coaster” is an understatement — but my unhealthy obsession, and unwillingness not to get what I want, eventually broke down the barriers she had put up. She fell for me and I had won my prize. Now, here’s the thing: While love isn’t always felt intensely, obsession is.
Obsession, once it grabs onto you, won’t let you go. It’s filled with elongated moments of intense feeling and emotion. Thoughts of what or whom you’re obsessing over fill your mind like a dark cloud and you’re unable to distract yourself for long periods of time. You wake up thinking of her, you think of her the whole day, you go to bed thinking of her and you dream of her. But once you actually “get” her, your mind no longer has a need to think of her constantly; you have her and are now fulfilling that mental stimulation by spending much more time with her.
The intense feelings inevitably subside and you are left feeling… normal. Let me tell you, after obsessing for a long period of time, normal no longer feels normal. You begin to miss those intense emotions brought on obsession once they subside. Even worse, if you’re inexperienced, as I was, you mistake your obsession for love.
What makes regular obsessions profoundly intense obsessions is love itself; it underlies the obsession and fuels it. Not all obsessions are this soul-wrenching, but if they’re combined with love, they’re nearly unbearable. When the obsession is removed, you fall into a sort of withdrawal. Obsessions like these really are a sort of addiction. When the obsession leaves you, you’re left feeling incomplete.
Here comes the sad part. Although you know that you love her, you don’t feel that you love her. Because the beginning of your relationship was so intense, it set the bar ridiculously high. Now, everything that you feel falls short and you can’t seem to convince yourself that you are, for certain, with the right person. As human beings, we experience things comparatively: Great experiences are only great if they seem great in comparison to other experiences.
You’re still convinced that the way love is supposed to feel is the way you felt during all that time you were chasing the girl. You masked your obsession as being true love and are now unable to redefine true love — at least in regards to this specific person. The relationship is ruined. You’ll never be able to build the relationship you need because your obsession rotted away at the foundation.
Chasing love never works unless it is for a very short period of time. The problem is, once you start chasing, you begin to enjoy the chase, so you chase for a bit longer. Then, it turns into an even longer lasting chase, which inevitably turns into an obsession. If you want to turn your whole world upside down, go ahead and obsess; it’s sure to change you at a deep level. The only upside of all the pain and stress is that you will come out of it as a better person. You might come out wiser and better off than when you first started chasing, but it isn’t guaranteed that you’ll come out at of the dark tunnel at all.
The disillusionment of such obsession more often than not leaves victims depressed. Falling into a depression is much easier than climbing out of one and not all of us are able to manage the task. Obsessions are the leading cause of suicides. Clearly they aren’t all related to the chasing of women, but they are obsessions that fade and disappear, leaving the person lost and confused.
Obsessions substitute our purpose. When the obsession is lost, our purpose in life is lost with it. The only solution is finding a better purpose.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
DATING: WHY MEN ARE SO ANGRY ONLINE
Traditional courting norms, it is usually men who do the asking and women usually do the selecting. Now man can ask 50 woman online.And why bother to ask them out in all different ways?
Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned. One okCupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles. After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted. This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.
Listen...men, spend all their hours spent browsing photos, writing love notes, and hitting send aren’t “paying off. Who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? There’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… and get thunderous silence in return.
Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned. One okCupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles. After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted. This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.
Listen...men, spend all their hours spent browsing photos, writing love notes, and hitting send aren’t “paying off. Who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? There’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… and get thunderous silence in return.
Friday, October 31, 2014
POETRY: SOMETIMES I FEEL THE ONLY REASON..
When my heart is pounding loudly
it is simply yearning to be free
and define emotions so new
debating which is true
When i breathe
i can smell you
When i close my eyes
i can see you
When i'm awake
i dream of you
When i'm away
i can feel you
What are these symptoms of
infatuation or love?
Reality makes it hard to separate
It feels like you're my missing piece,
my soulmate....
2
Most preserved love
unhindered and unfaltering
thru wind and rain and tears
I hold you close
The eyes blink again
and you are there
as if we were never apart
I hold you close
Did we not conquer
and overcome it all?
you swore it and it was so
I hold you close
I love you dearly
I keep you in my heart
I feel your arms around me
And you hold me close
3
No Matter what anyone say's, or what you do
to me you'll always be perfect.
No Matter what happens between us
I'll always love you.
No Matter what you think about yourself
I'll never see you as anything less
than perfect
And one day I hope you'll
see yourself like this too.
4
Sometimes I feel that the only reason
God gave me eyes was to look at you...
And sometimes I feel that the only reason
God gave me peace of mind...
Was so that I could think of you.
Sometimes I feel that the only reason God gave me arms,
Was to hold you 'til the end of time...
Other times I feel that the only reason God gave me lips,
Was to feel yours against mine...
5
And I kissed you in the
darkness of a daydream
Among the thick mists of
a foggy night's greeting
Not once, not twice, but
repeatedly
I kissed you in passion of
a meeting
A destiny across a
thousand dreams
Across eternity and back
And I kissed you in
the cold night air
Repeatedly
Our dreams consumed in
the grip of destiny
Lovers engulfed in
mindless pursuit of love
I kissed you for hours
in the coldness of night
Uncaring, needing and
loving you
A love beyond imagination
Of countless choruses of
angels
In a black misty night
Uncaring
And I kissed you as
never before
Meeting again this way
I kissed you with a
passion that grew
from a myriad memories
Of endless dreams of loving
Endlessly
And I kissed you . . .
it is simply yearning to be free
and define emotions so new
debating which is true
When i breathe
i can smell you
When i close my eyes
i can see you
When i'm awake
i dream of you
When i'm away
i can feel you
What are these symptoms of
infatuation or love?
Reality makes it hard to separate
It feels like you're my missing piece,
my soulmate....
2
Most preserved love
unhindered and unfaltering
thru wind and rain and tears
I hold you close
The eyes blink again
and you are there
as if we were never apart
I hold you close
Did we not conquer
and overcome it all?
you swore it and it was so
I hold you close
I love you dearly
I keep you in my heart
I feel your arms around me
And you hold me close
3
No Matter what anyone say's, or what you do
to me you'll always be perfect.
No Matter what happens between us
I'll always love you.
No Matter what you think about yourself
I'll never see you as anything less
than perfect
And one day I hope you'll
see yourself like this too.
4
Sometimes I feel that the only reason
God gave me eyes was to look at you...
And sometimes I feel that the only reason
God gave me peace of mind...
Was so that I could think of you.
Sometimes I feel that the only reason God gave me arms,
Was to hold you 'til the end of time...
Other times I feel that the only reason God gave me lips,
Was to feel yours against mine...
5
And I kissed you in the
darkness of a daydream
Among the thick mists of
a foggy night's greeting
Not once, not twice, but
repeatedly
I kissed you in passion of
a meeting
A destiny across a
thousand dreams
Across eternity and back
And I kissed you in
the cold night air
Repeatedly
Our dreams consumed in
the grip of destiny
Lovers engulfed in
mindless pursuit of love
I kissed you for hours
in the coldness of night
Uncaring, needing and
loving you
A love beyond imagination
Of countless choruses of
angels
In a black misty night
Uncaring
And I kissed you as
never before
Meeting again this way
I kissed you with a
passion that grew
from a myriad memories
Of endless dreams of loving
Endlessly
And I kissed you . . .
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Monday, October 27, 2014
PERSONAL: TO MY SOULMATE..IF YOU ARE READING THIS
None of those people who I work with really know me.You just need one — one person out of millions — to know and accept and love you for being, well, just the way you are . . . I see old folks walking down the street who look like they’ve been together 50 years, and there’s something very touching about it — that they’ve lasted so long. I used to wonder: How come I don’t have that? I can dream about it, think about it, write about it. I can even try to achieve it again, and often have. You can have all the money in the world, you can have mansions, you can have properties, you can have yachts, you can have limousines, you can have motorcycles. But without love,it doesn’t mean a goddamn thing
I wanted these words to be perfect, but perfection is a hard thing to get your hands on. But life is meant to be a little messy, and when it comes to love I think it’s like my dad always said about being a doctor: You only sign up if it’s the only thing you could ever imagine doing. I can not imagine spending a moment of my life without you. I promise that I will always have your back, as you will always have mine. You’re my best friend, you’re my home, and you are my true love, and I am yours and will be forever. With you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I’ve never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. When I’ve been lost you’ve always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You’ve always believed in me, and I believe in you. When you believe in someone it’s not for a minute, or just for now, it’s forever. You’re my best friend. Until I met you, I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don’t know why I fought it for so long. You have such gentle grace; such quiet strength; but mostly, such incredible kindness. I’ve never known anyone with as pure a heart. So today, I give you my love, my honor… and our life together
I wanted these words to be perfect, but perfection is a hard thing to get your hands on. But life is meant to be a little messy, and when it comes to love I think it’s like my dad always said about being a doctor: You only sign up if it’s the only thing you could ever imagine doing. I can not imagine spending a moment of my life without you. I promise that I will always have your back, as you will always have mine. You’re my best friend, you’re my home, and you are my true love, and I am yours and will be forever. With you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I’ve never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. When I’ve been lost you’ve always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You’ve always believed in me, and I believe in you. When you believe in someone it’s not for a minute, or just for now, it’s forever. You’re my best friend. Until I met you, I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don’t know why I fought it for so long. You have such gentle grace; such quiet strength; but mostly, such incredible kindness. I’ve never known anyone with as pure a heart. So today, I give you my love, my honor… and our life together
Saturday, October 25, 2014
DATING: ASKING WOMAN OUT
Have you been in this scenario or something similar?
You’re out, and you’re waiting for your friends to hang out, at a bar, bookstore, café, restaurant, malls etc…
… Then suddenly you see a hot, attractive woman walking towards your direction. She totally caught your attention…
She’s turning heads as she’s walking…
There’s certain aura around her, like an angel on earth sort of feeling…
Your heart’s beating like crazy, or maybe it has stopped beating for a few seconds…
You’re sweating like hell…
Butterflies are flying in your stomach…
And your knees are knocking against each other…
You’re like… wow, she looks amazing.
“I want to approach her” “OMG, what should I say?” “Nah, she’s so hot, she’s probably attached” “Ah forget it, she’s walking away already”
Then a few minutes later…
“F**K! I should have totally approached her and get her number”
And now you’re kicking yourself for NOT action and NOT having the balls to approach the girl of your dream.
Well. NOT ANYMORE. At least not when you’re done reading this article.
This article is a step-by-step on how to approach an attractive woman to getting her number.
Mindset Before Approach
I get it. When you see a hot attractive woman that you don’t know, you have million things go through your mind.
“What to say?” “How to say to her?” “Should I approach her?” “How to approach her?” “Will I get my balls kicked by her?” “What if she’s got a boyfriend?” “What if she slaps me?” “What if other people laugh at me when I approach her?” “What if I fail and get rejected? OMG that will be shit!”
Well, let me tell you this, if you’re thinking too much, you end up NOT approaching. And that’s not what we want here.
When you want to approach a woman you find attractive, just have this one thought:
“I’m just going over to tell her that’s she attractive. No big deal, no ulterior motive.”
“Cool.. wait what??! ARE YOU CRAZY? You can’t just tell women that they’re attractive? Have you gone MAD?”
Well, you can.
First of all, base on my experience of approaching 1000s over women randomly on the streets, and telling them that they’re attractive, have gotten me tons of numbers.
Second of all, nothing BAD has ever happened to me. No police. No injury. No nothing. The worst was “sorry, not interested”.
Third of all, women really spend a lot of time to make themselves look good. The amount of money, time, and effort for that hair, that make up, and that hot body.
You would think that they would scream at you for complimenting them on something they spend a lot of effort in? NAH.
Lastly, women want to be approached. Men want women, and women want men. If you’re approaching, you’re doing the right thing.
So really just remember this and always tell yourself.
“I’m just going over to tell her that’s she attractive. No big deal, no ulterior motive.”
What’s The First Thing To Say? Word for Word
So I’m going to make it simple for you guys. Don’t need to rack your brain over this. Here are a few examples:
Hi, excuse me. Don’t worry I’m not selling anything, I just want to come over and tell you that you’re hot/attractive/cute/adorable, and want to say hi.
Hi, you look amazing, you’re the most beautiful girl I have seen all day/week/month.
Hello. I saw you from there, I thought you looked really hot from behind. Hmmmm, and you look really hot from the front too.
That’s it. Three simple opening lines you can use. Feel free to change a little, as long she knows WHY you’re talking to her.
FYI: These are commonly known as the direct openers in the dating community. Meaning you’re telling the girl upfront why you’re here. Really, it’s no big deal.
Why?
Hot attractive women know they’re hot anyway.
If you go over and talk about the weather, the traffic (which is retarded), she’s going to think you’re full of shit anyway.
Slightly Less Direct Way of Saying:
IF you’re REALLY shy, then I recommend that you add in little extra thing before telling her that she’s attractive.
“Hi, do you know where XXX place is?”
Then when she’s done telling where the place is, eg Starbucks, toilet, subway, café etc, then you say the previous three lines I shared with you.
“Actually, I am not really asking for direction. Just want to come over and say hi because I find you hot.”
Extra Tips: Don’t immediately ask for number. That’s NOT how it works. The girl has got to get to know you a little first. You wouldn’t give your number right away to a stranger, why would you expect other people to do the same?
Which brings me to the next point, conversation.
During Conversation
So you continue the conversation after telling her that she’s attractive.
Ask yourself these: What’s the WHOLE point of approaching a woman? What’s the WHOLE point of talking to people?
You want to approach her because you’re interested in her, and you want to date her. And I’m pretty you wouldn’t want to date a crazy bitch OR a bimbo right?
So you have to get to know her. And by having a short interesting conversation will allow you to get to know her, AND vise versa.
Simple tips for having the conversation
Find Out 5 Interesting Facts About Her
You want to get to know her, so get to know her!
What’s she doing in the area? What she likes to do for fun? What she does when she’s free? Is she still studying/working? What she’s studying? WHY she’s studying that? What she’s working? WHY she’s working as that? Ask her to describe ideal weekend
I could go on but the list of questions you can ask her is endless. The main point really is to get to know her. SO ask her things that you’re interested to know about.
Examples:
Question, YOU: So what are you doing around this area?
HER: Oh, I’m meeting my friend, and we’re going to this café XXX.
There are two things in the sentence, her friend and café. You can talk about her friend OR the café.
(On friend) YOU: Oh nice. Is your friend as cute as you? But I highly doubt that. -This is flirting.
OR
(On friend) YOU: Nice. Friend or boyfriend? I hope he’s not your boyfriend, if not I’ll be really sad. ;) (Pretend to be sad, and smile) -One-way to find out if she’s attached.
OR
YOU: Oh cool. Have you been there or it’s the first time? I been there a few times, I would say their ZXC dish is the best. Really, check it out.
OR
YOU: Oh. I’m meeting my friend. I haven’t been there. What’s nice about that place?
Always listen carefully to what she’s talking about, and CHOOSE one subject/topic/person to talk about. That’s how you continue conversation easily.
Talk about yourself – a little
Conversation is a two-way street; as she’s talking, and you’re listening, feel free to talk about yourself a little too. Why? So she could get to know you, and connect with you.
Example:
HER: I’m meeting my friend to catch movie QWE.
YOU: I see. That’s great movie, I love that it’s XXXX. Usually, I don’t watch this kind of movie, but actor XXX is inside. I just love the way he acts. -You’re telling her a little about yourself.
OR
YOU: I see. I haven’t watched it yet. I prefer watching XXX type of movies. What can I say? I’m a typical guy – cars, robots, and action. What are your favourite types of movies? -You’re telling her a little about yourself. -Continuing the conversation by ask her more questions. -Getting to know her more.
What if you’re nervous? If you’re nervous, then just tell her that you’re nervous, and you don’t usually do this. And you have never met such a beautiful girl like her. And then smile.
Closing – getting her number
After talking for a while, ie 5 to 10 minutes, and getting to know her a little, ie 5 interesting things about her, it’s time to get her number.
Of course, I am NOT saying you have to restrict yourself to just 5 to 10 minutes of conversation, but it’s good enough.
And I’m also NOT saying you should have a long ass conversation that lasts one hour. Just because the conversation is long does NOT mean she’s interested. I have talked to a girl for half an hour and nothing came out of it.
It’s never about the LENGTH of the conversation, but rather the QUALITY of the connection.
So this is how you can say to get her number.
“It’s been nice talking to you, I enjoy our conversation. I want to see you again. Give me your number and we will talk again soon.” - Remember to SMILE
OR
“Okay, my friend is here, but it’s been nice meeting you. I like to keep in contact with you, and have coffee with you some day. Give me your number, and we will talk again soon”
While you’re saying that, take out your phone, press it to the numberpad screen, and then pass it to her for her to enter her number.
Essentially, it’s just about telling it’s nice to talk to her, you want to see her again, and tell her to give you the number.
Only 2 things can happen. She gives you her number or she doesn’t.
If she gives you her number, you have done a decent job talking to her to show that you’re a NORMAL guy that just has enough balls to talk to her.
If she doesn’t, then it’s okay. Maybe you need to hone your conversational skills a little. Maybe she’s attached. Maybe she’s lesbian. Maybe she’s happily married with 2 kids. Maybes Maybes Maybes. Tons of maybe, and I can’t address them all.
But really, it’s okay to NOT get a number after talking to a girl.
If you talk to 10 girls, and you get a number, it’s actually pretty decent.
Final Points
Don’t expect to get numbers just because you approach a girl. Some girls just aren’t interested. There are tons of reasons you won’t get her numbers.
Don’t be afraid to get rejected because you WILL get rejected, no matter how good you are. I get rejected all the time. But imagine. If you get rejected 9 times and get 1 number for today, is it good enough for you? I think it’s good enough.
Have a curious mindset, don’t go in and approach a girl with a motive of getting numbers. You’re going over to compliment with her and have a nice chat. If she seems great, then get her number. If not, then leave.
You’re out, and you’re waiting for your friends to hang out, at a bar, bookstore, café, restaurant, malls etc…
… Then suddenly you see a hot, attractive woman walking towards your direction. She totally caught your attention…
She’s turning heads as she’s walking…
There’s certain aura around her, like an angel on earth sort of feeling…
Your heart’s beating like crazy, or maybe it has stopped beating for a few seconds…
You’re sweating like hell…
Butterflies are flying in your stomach…
And your knees are knocking against each other…
You’re like… wow, she looks amazing.
“I want to approach her” “OMG, what should I say?” “Nah, she’s so hot, she’s probably attached” “Ah forget it, she’s walking away already”
Then a few minutes later…
“F**K! I should have totally approached her and get her number”
And now you’re kicking yourself for NOT action and NOT having the balls to approach the girl of your dream.
Well. NOT ANYMORE. At least not when you’re done reading this article.
This article is a step-by-step on how to approach an attractive woman to getting her number.
Mindset Before Approach
I get it. When you see a hot attractive woman that you don’t know, you have million things go through your mind.
“What to say?” “How to say to her?” “Should I approach her?” “How to approach her?” “Will I get my balls kicked by her?” “What if she’s got a boyfriend?” “What if she slaps me?” “What if other people laugh at me when I approach her?” “What if I fail and get rejected? OMG that will be shit!”
Well, let me tell you this, if you’re thinking too much, you end up NOT approaching. And that’s not what we want here.
When you want to approach a woman you find attractive, just have this one thought:
“I’m just going over to tell her that’s she attractive. No big deal, no ulterior motive.”
“Cool.. wait what??! ARE YOU CRAZY? You can’t just tell women that they’re attractive? Have you gone MAD?”
Well, you can.
First of all, base on my experience of approaching 1000s over women randomly on the streets, and telling them that they’re attractive, have gotten me tons of numbers.
Second of all, nothing BAD has ever happened to me. No police. No injury. No nothing. The worst was “sorry, not interested”.
Third of all, women really spend a lot of time to make themselves look good. The amount of money, time, and effort for that hair, that make up, and that hot body.
You would think that they would scream at you for complimenting them on something they spend a lot of effort in? NAH.
Lastly, women want to be approached. Men want women, and women want men. If you’re approaching, you’re doing the right thing.
So really just remember this and always tell yourself.
“I’m just going over to tell her that’s she attractive. No big deal, no ulterior motive.”
What’s The First Thing To Say? Word for Word
So I’m going to make it simple for you guys. Don’t need to rack your brain over this. Here are a few examples:
Hi, excuse me. Don’t worry I’m not selling anything, I just want to come over and tell you that you’re hot/attractive/cute/adorable, and want to say hi.
Hi, you look amazing, you’re the most beautiful girl I have seen all day/week/month.
Hello. I saw you from there, I thought you looked really hot from behind. Hmmmm, and you look really hot from the front too.
That’s it. Three simple opening lines you can use. Feel free to change a little, as long she knows WHY you’re talking to her.
FYI: These are commonly known as the direct openers in the dating community. Meaning you’re telling the girl upfront why you’re here. Really, it’s no big deal.
Why?
Hot attractive women know they’re hot anyway.
If you go over and talk about the weather, the traffic (which is retarded), she’s going to think you’re full of shit anyway.
Slightly Less Direct Way of Saying:
IF you’re REALLY shy, then I recommend that you add in little extra thing before telling her that she’s attractive.
“Hi, do you know where XXX place is?”
Then when she’s done telling where the place is, eg Starbucks, toilet, subway, café etc, then you say the previous three lines I shared with you.
“Actually, I am not really asking for direction. Just want to come over and say hi because I find you hot.”
Extra Tips: Don’t immediately ask for number. That’s NOT how it works. The girl has got to get to know you a little first. You wouldn’t give your number right away to a stranger, why would you expect other people to do the same?
Which brings me to the next point, conversation.
During Conversation
So you continue the conversation after telling her that she’s attractive.
Ask yourself these: What’s the WHOLE point of approaching a woman? What’s the WHOLE point of talking to people?
You want to approach her because you’re interested in her, and you want to date her. And I’m pretty you wouldn’t want to date a crazy bitch OR a bimbo right?
So you have to get to know her. And by having a short interesting conversation will allow you to get to know her, AND vise versa.
Simple tips for having the conversation
Find Out 5 Interesting Facts About Her
You want to get to know her, so get to know her!
What’s she doing in the area? What she likes to do for fun? What she does when she’s free? Is she still studying/working? What she’s studying? WHY she’s studying that? What she’s working? WHY she’s working as that? Ask her to describe ideal weekend
I could go on but the list of questions you can ask her is endless. The main point really is to get to know her. SO ask her things that you’re interested to know about.
Examples:
Question, YOU: So what are you doing around this area?
HER: Oh, I’m meeting my friend, and we’re going to this café XXX.
There are two things in the sentence, her friend and café. You can talk about her friend OR the café.
(On friend) YOU: Oh nice. Is your friend as cute as you? But I highly doubt that. -This is flirting.
OR
(On friend) YOU: Nice. Friend or boyfriend? I hope he’s not your boyfriend, if not I’ll be really sad. ;) (Pretend to be sad, and smile) -One-way to find out if she’s attached.
OR
YOU: Oh cool. Have you been there or it’s the first time? I been there a few times, I would say their ZXC dish is the best. Really, check it out.
OR
YOU: Oh. I’m meeting my friend. I haven’t been there. What’s nice about that place?
Always listen carefully to what she’s talking about, and CHOOSE one subject/topic/person to talk about. That’s how you continue conversation easily.
Talk about yourself – a little
Conversation is a two-way street; as she’s talking, and you’re listening, feel free to talk about yourself a little too. Why? So she could get to know you, and connect with you.
Example:
HER: I’m meeting my friend to catch movie QWE.
YOU: I see. That’s great movie, I love that it’s XXXX. Usually, I don’t watch this kind of movie, but actor XXX is inside. I just love the way he acts. -You’re telling her a little about yourself.
OR
YOU: I see. I haven’t watched it yet. I prefer watching XXX type of movies. What can I say? I’m a typical guy – cars, robots, and action. What are your favourite types of movies? -You’re telling her a little about yourself. -Continuing the conversation by ask her more questions. -Getting to know her more.
What if you’re nervous? If you’re nervous, then just tell her that you’re nervous, and you don’t usually do this. And you have never met such a beautiful girl like her. And then smile.
Closing – getting her number
After talking for a while, ie 5 to 10 minutes, and getting to know her a little, ie 5 interesting things about her, it’s time to get her number.
Of course, I am NOT saying you have to restrict yourself to just 5 to 10 minutes of conversation, but it’s good enough.
And I’m also NOT saying you should have a long ass conversation that lasts one hour. Just because the conversation is long does NOT mean she’s interested. I have talked to a girl for half an hour and nothing came out of it.
It’s never about the LENGTH of the conversation, but rather the QUALITY of the connection.
So this is how you can say to get her number.
“It’s been nice talking to you, I enjoy our conversation. I want to see you again. Give me your number and we will talk again soon.” - Remember to SMILE
OR
“Okay, my friend is here, but it’s been nice meeting you. I like to keep in contact with you, and have coffee with you some day. Give me your number, and we will talk again soon”
While you’re saying that, take out your phone, press it to the numberpad screen, and then pass it to her for her to enter her number.
Essentially, it’s just about telling it’s nice to talk to her, you want to see her again, and tell her to give you the number.
Only 2 things can happen. She gives you her number or she doesn’t.
If she gives you her number, you have done a decent job talking to her to show that you’re a NORMAL guy that just has enough balls to talk to her.
If she doesn’t, then it’s okay. Maybe you need to hone your conversational skills a little. Maybe she’s attached. Maybe she’s lesbian. Maybe she’s happily married with 2 kids. Maybes Maybes Maybes. Tons of maybe, and I can’t address them all.
But really, it’s okay to NOT get a number after talking to a girl.
If you talk to 10 girls, and you get a number, it’s actually pretty decent.
Final Points
Don’t expect to get numbers just because you approach a girl. Some girls just aren’t interested. There are tons of reasons you won’t get her numbers.
Don’t be afraid to get rejected because you WILL get rejected, no matter how good you are. I get rejected all the time. But imagine. If you get rejected 9 times and get 1 number for today, is it good enough for you? I think it’s good enough.
Have a curious mindset, don’t go in and approach a girl with a motive of getting numbers. You’re going over to compliment with her and have a nice chat. If she seems great, then get her number. If not, then leave.
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