POETRY: I LOVE YOU

Watching my life go by
Remembering young innocent days
Not knowing how I got here
I've grown so fast
I don't know what's coming next

Who will I give my love to
Who will I spend my life with
How long will I live
Why am I me; why am I not you

There's nothing to seek
I'm going crazy
I just want to know what's next
What's going to happen tomarrow

Am I going to find him
Am I going to die
Where am I going to be
Who's going to be there with me
I just want to know what's next

What's next for me in this life
Who knows if I don't


2

If the words I speak could make you laugh,
I'd talk forever.
If my embrace could make you feel secured,
I'd embrace you forever.
If understanding you could make us closer,
I'd listen to you forever.
If holding your hand could make you tingly inside,
I'd hold your hand forever.
If your eyes are the windows to your soul,
I'd stare into them forever.
If a simple kiss could make you glow,
I'd kiss you forever.
If the compliments I whisper in your ear makes you feel beautiful,
I'd whisper those words to you forever.
If the way I touch you makes u feel wanted,
I'd caress you forever.
If talking to you, and embracing you,
And listening to you, and holding you,
And staring into your eyes, and kissing you,
And whispering compliments to you, and caressing you
Could make you feel my love,
I'd willingly do all those things forever.
And if someone asks me how much I love you,
I'd say, "So much, it would last forever.


3

I look into your eyes, I'm falling
Into you. I'm soaring
In the azure sky
In places and ways
I never thought possible before.

I touch your skin
An electric tingle thrills me,
I'm hectic
As I wish your touch
Would linger on me forever.

I smell your scent
the fluttering wings
Of butterflies tremble in my stomach,
As I long to immerse myself
In all of you.

Each little thing about you
Makes the thought of life
Without you,
Seems as unthinkable
As eagles that have never flown.


4

How I long to be lost in your arms
After a long day with you entwined,
Within my every word.

My mind can't wait another second
To be with you.
For my heart keeps driving it
Close to insanity,
For it misses you so.

But only time seems
To stand between us.
For the distance
Can be easily conquered,
But time has to pass by
On its own.

So all I can do
Till it passes me by,
Is to live in the memory
Of the past night.
When I held you in my arms
Whispering every word,
My heart spoke
About how much
It had missed you
Every second
That I was away.

But as time passed
It slowly brought me torment,
Leaving my mind lusting after
Every lady that walked by.
Causing me to sin
Against you.
Trying to make me
Break the bond
That lay between us.

Luckily my heart knew
Where it truly belonged
And it was with you.

Time came close
To breaking the bond
But it failed.
For it ran out,
So I?ll always be yours
As long as you're mine.


5


You are the passion
that is burning bright,
You are the star
that shines all night.
I want to hold you
and keep you near,
when you are around
I'll show no fear.
You are always on my mind,
I want to love you
all the time.
Our love resides
in a special place,
it makes my heart
know not to race.
I will tell you
the truth today,
my love for you
is here to stay.


6

i loved you...
not for the face's beauty you hold
but for the the beauty you kept within
and then, i needed you...

i loved you...
not for the money you spent
but for the wealth within your heart
and then, i needed you...

i loved you...
not for the elegant dress you wore
but for the mask you took off to the world
and then, i needed you...

i love you...
not for the times when you were still here
but because you left me still loving you
and now, i need you....

LOVE LETTER: ALL I WANT IS YOU

Why must I feel this way? I am a man of many torments,some of which I cannot describe. There are certain things missing, such as my love. Without her I am not who I am  supposed to be. Every day I question, does she feel the same as I? Does she love me as much as I love her? And with every thought I die! I have died so many times, that I don't know if I die again, if that will be the final.Sometimes I feel as if that would be the best thing. I would miss everyone, but this pain I would not. Just as long as I may take the love I have. I would be in a better place. My heart stays with her, and she shall keep it. I no longer  have any use for it. I love her! And my heart is a symbol of that, so that she may never forget me, and forever know, I will always be with her!


All I want is... to love you for the rest of my life... waking up every morning nestled in your arms... snuggling you tight as I close my drowsy eyes for the night... throughout the day thoughts of you dance in my mind... bringing a smile to my face... warming my heart... anticipating your arrival home... waiting to embrace you... All I want is... to share everything with you... our hopes... dreams...our future... sharing... the little things... things that make us laugh... and the not so little things that we can't help but to worry about... All I want is... to continue giving you my complete love... and nothing less... being your sanctuary from the storm... a place you can come to for comfort and acceptance... being a good listener... hopefully always using discernment... knowing there will be times when I just need to remain silent... but too knowing the things left unspoken can still be understood...All I want is... to raise our children... fulfill our dreams... watch as our life unfolds... spoil our grandchildren... and grow old together...All I want is..You

POETRY: YOUR KISS

My passion for thee burns bright,
Like a torch set to fire in the night,
I know I can give thee what thy heart desires,
For my passion for thee burns like a fire.

Oh how I?m yearning,
This passion is burning.
My heart is racing,
For your embracing.
This flame won?t subside,
All these feelings trapped inside.
You?re the one I desire,
Won?t you settle my inner fire?


2

my heart captured by your embrace...love stolen by ur sweet grace. if i was breathing i didn't know...i was lost in you from the very depths of my soul. when our lips met that night...i felt like taken flight. mind soaring through the crisp night air...my feet were weightless as if nothing were there. that split moment,when our lips touched, my spirit passed me like a cool damp mist...forever in a kiss



Magic of a kiss,
        no words to
        describe.

        Holding her
        close, her soft
        lips, touching
        mine.

        My heart feeling
        warm, my mind
        moving fast,
        wishing our kiss
        could last and last.

        Magic of a kiss,
        no words to
        ... describe

JOURNAL: AM I GOOD ENOUGH?

Beside my parents and sister, only one other woman really truly loved me.Most of the other, including my ex wife have ever loved me. They’ve liked me a gosh-darn awful lot, but boy-oh-boy do they not want to pull out those three little words.

I think I’m lovable. Both in my innate humanness and in my adult life. I have my shit together.I know I am not owed love. Most women imagine that they're going to be blown away by someone, literally knocked off their feet by a guy straight out of a GQl. But other times, women just don't find your personality intriguing enough. They might like YOU — being around you, going out to dinner with you, sleeping with you, having brunch with you the next day. But they don't necessarily find themselves fully engaged and interested in who you really are.

It's a little rare, to find someone who loves you so much that she just loves to talk, talk, talk with you for hours. Plenty of woman will want to form a "fun little team" with you, particularly if you're smart and highly evolved and you have your shit together..

I SHOULD BE CHERISHED.

I got some colorful markers, and I wrote those words 50 times, on the same page. I SHOULD BE cherished. I should be cherished. I. Should. Be. Cherished.

In the past...I didn't  cherish myself. I would do whatever what's-her-face wants to do, for the sake of the fun little team, for the sake of demonstrating your good communication skills. I would cherishing her, and cherishing sanity, BUT I WASN'T CHERISHING ME.

Don't I deserve something, beyond falling right in line with the other perfect, shiny guys who deserve doting wife? Don't I deserve a bigger, brighter existence than the ones they might be perfectly satisfied with?

The lack of spark within me comes from the conflict between WHO I AM TRYING  TO BE and WHAT I  REALLY WANT FOR MYSELF. I want more. I act like I don't want more,I act like I am satisfied, but in fact, I want a lot more.

I used to date women who were obsessed with their creative projects. After a while, I realized that I didn't want THEM. I wanted to BE them. I thought being close to that energy might be enough. I thought that being loved by someone who was willing to give herself completely to the creative process was enough. I met a musician once who was consumed by her creations. I put her on a pedestal. I had so much crazy lust for her..she was so HOT, it was almost stupid. But it wasn't her — I hardly knew her — it was her focus, her total involvement and belief in what she did, that made me crazy. I was her looks. I wanted to have that kind of passion for myself. I SHOULD'VE BEEN CHERISHED. I refused to cherish myself. It was easier to pretend that all of that magic and passion belonged to someone else, and that I had to ask permission to get a little taste of it.

It's time to forget about being lovable. And in fact, it's time to forsake someone else's idea of what gives you a spark or no spark.  No more audience. I am the cherished and the cherisher. I am  the eminently lovable and the lover. I am the million brilliant sparks, flashing against a midnight sky.  Fuck "good" partners. Fuck waiting to be let in. I am already in. I am  in.f.

I stop wondering if I am lovable. Fuck asking someone else, "Am I there yet?" Fuck listening for the answer. Fuck waiting, alone, for a verdict that never comes. I am not going to grow up to be one of those men with a perpetual question mark etched into my brow: Am I good? Am I lovable? Am I enough?

I have accepted too little for too long. That is changing today. 

PERSONAL: BEING THANKFUL THAT I MET YOU

It will be strange at first. I would  ask you out on a date after meeting you online.You will never have to wonder with me I will pick you up right on time, and you will slide into the front seat of my car and we’ll make small talk and I’ll smile

During dinner I’ll nervously play with my food, wondering if you find me attractive.When the check comes, we’ll fight over it, but in the end, I end up paying We’ll continue to see each other, and you’ll always make me laugh. You’ll pay attention to me, and send me a “good morning” text each day. You’ll leave me awake at night, giant smile plastered to my face, trying to accept the fact that it’s happening again, that I’m getting that feeling I thought I had lost forever.

You’ll ask me to be your boyfriend, and I’ll say yes. We’ll change our relationship statuses on Facebook and I’ll smile whenever I get a new message from you. You’ll continue to surprise me with interesting date ideas, and we’ll spend nights curled up on your bed, watching Netflix and talking about our childhoods. I’ll tell you about my worst fears, and I wonder how you’ll handle them, how’ll you tackle diffusing them.

We’ll sleep together for the first time and I’ll be nervous. You’ll do everything in your power to make sure I’m not but I will be — it’s inevitable. It will be strange — not un-enjoyable, but different. It will be different loving you You’ll teach me to love loving you.

You’ll become my best friend and I’ll become yours. I’ll tell you everything, and slowly, things will remind me of you. I’ll have the urge to constantly let you know what’s on my mind, and you’ll love it. You’ll do the same. Soon we’ll have a favorite restaurant, favorite movies, favorite songs. We’ll have routines, and you’ll become familiar to me. You’ll become home.

Slowly, you’ll become my person, and I’ll love you unconditionally, and I’ll look back to the way I feel now, and realize how silly I was for worrying I’ll never find love again. You’ll make me realize that a broken heart can’t stay broken forever. You’ll be the one that glues the pieces back together, and I’ll be thankful I met you

POETRY: I FOUND YOU

Love lasts forever~
It does not change with the passing of seasons~
Nor does it fall away like leaves of a tree before a long winter~
But stays rooted deeply within~
Love is intended to endure~solid as a rock~
It should not be shaken~
It should not exist for the soul purpose of gain~
But given freely from one heart in love with another~
Love, everlasting love~
Whose origin must come from heaven above~
A god sent reminder of what true caring is all about~
The gift of all gifts~
Priceless~
True love.

2

The very thought of you
 lifts my spirit and helps me endure through the harsh day.
The very sight of you
 drives me crazy and emotionally insane.
The very scent of you
 takes me to paradise where you and I exist as one.
The very sense of you
 fills the dull and lifeless surroundings with magic and beauty.
The very sound of you
 lights up my little red heart with tenderness and pure delight.
The eye contact we make, unbelievably astonishing!
Embraced by your ambiguous beauty,
Seduced by your nonchalant actions,
Manipulated by your sexual sensuality,
Girl, your entire being makes me want to say,
I love you...


3

Somebody must have left open the gates of heaven
Because I see an angel before me
I know she's an angel
because she brought a piece of heaven with her.

I know it's a piece of heaven
because there can be no greater place.
A place by a clear water bed
Where the sun sets on the horizon
still, with the glimpse of it's golden light

And the moon comes out to light the evening
with the beautiful sparkling stars
that shine off the river like a mirror

A warm breeze rolls in as I look at that angel.
Oh how I adore her golden hair, soft skin, heavenly eyes.
I placed my hand over hers, grasping, never to release.
I leaned over to have her soft velvet lips touch mine.
That moment I knew, I knew this was heaven,
and I did not want to leave.

I placed the angel in my arms and whispered into her ear,
"I hold you and never let go."
As I said that she looked up at me
and said with a Heavenly echo,
"Don't let me go, this is where I want to be,
here... now... with you."


4

I have found you
        in the cold of
             a December's night
Among the frosty
       shadows of a
              monastic tower
In the long nights
       of eternal cold
In the windy corridors of
       gothic gloom
Here I found you my love
Where least 
            to expect it 
  
I have found you
        in the pink haze
              of a Spring evening
In the long valley 
       of hidden veils
Here, among the 
       shadowy poplars
Tranquil and pale
       in a pillared palace
Yes, here I found you  
      in that splendor of
           an ancient culture
     Here I found you
          again my love

I have found you
        in the summer orange
               sky
Your softness glistening
    in the sun's dying kiss
The heat sizzling as you
     glided enchantingly
         in a dream of purple dusk,
             the sound of surf sighing 
                  relentlessly
     In a whisper, a caress 
        breathing deeply
            of the salty night air
Here,
     we consummated
            our beginning in
     endless loving

SEX: WHEN YOU CUM ON A WOMAN'S FACE

Having a sticky substance in the face seems like a questionable pleasure. However, a woman taking her lover’s semen in her face can have a strong arousing effect, It’s a sign of male dominion. A woman covered with a man’s seed is a sign that he owned her in that instant and will always own her from that moment on. Later she can wash the evidences out of her, but the invisible brand will be there for the rest of their lives. In her memory. In his memory too. The memory of her covered in his seed. The volume. The strong smell of his fluids closer to her nose. The warmness in her face. The submissive feelings she experienced (or the dominant feelings in his case) while she waited for the first squirt and after he has finished.

Some women do it because they like to feel submissive. Some women do it because they like the sluttish sensations it causes in them. Many women only do it because their lover wants to and they want to please him. Indulging in his desires is a form of submission nonetheless.

JOURNAL: A CLASSMATE OF MINE DIED TODAY...ANDREW MADOFF

Andrew Madoff was a classmate of mine.(He is the son of Bernie Madoff,,,,,,you remember him with his Ponzi scheme)... He died today...from battling mantle cell lymphoma. He was rich even then.....and had the hottest woman in his arm. He wasn't nice to me in high school...in fact he was a bully. This is just another example of how the universe has balance. The pain you cause other comes back to you years later.

LOVE LETTER: MY LOVE IS YOUR MEDICINE

Love is the medicine that heals the broken soul. I am a doctor...let my love inside,  let it flow and make you whole. Let it inside, to heal, guide, and protect your mind will rejoice, your heart won't object. Don't keep it to yourself, not sharing it, ashamed for anyone knows- a lonely heart can't be tamed. When the night falls darker than ever before...my love will find you and let you cry no more When the storm rages, bringing unwelcome fears.. call on my love to dry the thundering tears You ask me how I know and all these things I'm sure of because I have faith and hope in everlasting love.

My love, on this trek to your heart I have sojourned with many lonely souls but none could rival the intense desire I have burning within my heart to be by your side. Not one among the lot comprehended my sequestered heart as it remained hidden from sight only craving the nearness of your own. As I traversed the many expanses to your heart I found myself in a hermetic trance removed from this cold world as your luminous splendor guided my way. Had it not been for your marvelous light I fear I would have fallen as every expanse became more treacherous and each river raged in horrific fury. Remaining undaunted in my quest as passion raged from the depths of my very existence, I pressed on knowing in my heart this life as brief as it is would not present itself to me in this fashion again. Hold fast, my love, as I withstand this iniquitous world and combat my way to the throne of your heart for I know therein I shall possess my rightful placeas our love is never meant
to be denied

POETRY: YOU ALWAYS TAKE MY BREATH AWAY

With the moments passing,
needing something to make my soul beam and smile,
a thought of you appears,
and my spirit lifts, my eyes brighten,
my soul lives,
lives for a reason it cannot define,
only by the look of your gaze,
and the intensity of your thoughts.
Your voice saying more than words,
piercing echos of your love,
that only grow,
as they travel to the depths of my heart,
and all with just a thought of you.


2

Roses, in moments of love
Colors of the rainbow
Awaiting a lover's thoughts
One or a bouquet
The most exquisitely beautiful
Gift of the green god
From him to her
Her to him
A symbol of deep felt love
Perfection in companionship
Lustful in intent
Purity of soulfulness
An expression of the heart
Red, yellow, pink
White and blue
Delightful displays of
floral passion...
Roses for the heart



3


A pretty picture, a pretty pose,
A moment captured in time.

I close my eyes and imagine you here,
Holding me closely, the moment so dear.

A moment to love, a moment to care,
For two hearts apart, a moment to share.

A moment come, a moment gone,
For just such a moment this heart has so longed.

I see the picture, I see the pose,
A moment in mind, a moment in time.




4


Breathe me with your deepest eyes
So you'll feel what's inside my heart,
So you'll see there are no lies,
So you'll know I loved you from the start.

Breathe me with your sweetest smile
As your smile can cheer a thousand souls,
As your smile renders me senseless like a child,
As your smile keeps me smiling a thousandfold.

Breathe me with your caring touch
For without it, my wounds would never heal.
For without it, my pain would hurt too much.
For without it, I would never again learn to feel.

Breathe me with your gentle kiss
To taste the conviction of my love for you,
To taste the joy of my soul in bliss,
To keep me there inside of you.


5

As the morning dawn breaks upon a new day
And the rising sun chases the darkness away
The birds awaken with all their cheerful glee
As dew glistens like diamonds on lawn and tree

I awaken with smiles to face a new coming day
Knowing a friend who'll beside me ever stay
She's sweet of smile and face so pretty to me
Just closing my eyes her beauty I can ere see

Beyond beauty lies a special person within
To her my dearest, special feelings I send
'Tis true that she has made bells to ever ring
To my heart, she much joy will ever bring

This I say to my best friend and special wife
Thanks to you I will ere have a blessed life


6

You came into my life with no warning
But suddenly, new thoughts are coming.
You've made me see so differently
and stood beside me unconditionally
Through all my crazy ideas
Like kissing in the rain
And never causing me to hurt
In more than playful pain.

You always take my breath away
With only a simple look
I realize as I think about it,
My heart is what you took.


7

Wanting but not having
Seeking yet not finding
Coming close but not touching
Desires felt yet not fulfilled

Tempted but not pleased
Aroused yet not sated
Lips puckered but not kissed
Passions stirred but not mixed

Dreams dreamed but not awakened
Eyes plead yet not seen
Heart beats but not felt
Body shivers yet not warmed

Hands reach but not held
Words whispered yet not heard
Fantasies born but not nurtured
Desires scream as they are tortured

VIDEO: Car Scene - The Wedding Date

You're safe, you can reIax.I not gonna kiss you. He's gonna be so sorry he Iost you.Stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember... what an incredibIe woman you are.If you do that, he'll reallze what he Iost.

ARTICLE: NYTIMES The Intelligent-Life Lottery by GeorgeJohnson

The Intelligent-Life Lottery by GeorgeJohnson

Almost 20 years ago, in the pages of an obscure publication called Bioastronomy News, two giants in the world of science argued over whether SETI — the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence — had a chance of succeeding. Carl Sagan, as eloquent as ever, gave his standard answer. With billions of stars in our galaxy, there must be other civilizations capable of transmitting electromagnetic waves. By scouring the sky with radio telescopes, we just might intercept a signal.

But Sagan’s opponent, the great evolutionary biologist Ernst Mayr, thought the chances were close to zero. Against Sagan’s stellar billions, he posed his own astronomical numbers: Of the billions of species that have lived and died since life began, only one — Homo sapiens — had developed a science, a technology, and the curiosity to explore the stars. And that took about 3.5 billion years of evolution. High intelligence, Mayr concluded, must be extremely rare, here or anywhere. Earth’s most abundant life form is unicellular slime.

Since the debate with Sagan, more than 1,700 planets have been discovered beyond the solar system — 700 just this year. Astronomers recently estimated that one of every five sunlike stars in the Milky Way might be orbited by a world capable of supporting some kind of life.

That is about 40 billion potential habitats. But Mayr, who died in 2005 at the age of 100, probably wouldn’t have been impressed. By his reckoning, the odds would still be very low for anything much beyond slime worlds. No evidence has yet emerged to prove him wrong.

Maybe we’re just not looking hard enough. Since SETI began in the early 1960s, it has struggled for the money it takes to monitor even a fraction of the sky. In an online essay for The Conversation last week, Seth Shostak, the senior astronomer at the SETI Institute, lamented how little has been allocated for the quest — just a fraction of NASA’s budget.

“If you don’t ante up,” he wrote, “you will never win the jackpot. And that is a question of will.”

Three years ago, SETI’s Allen Telescope Array in Northern California ran out of money and was closed for a while. Earlier this month, it was threatened by wildfire — another reminder of the precariousness of the search.

It has been more than 3.5 billion years since the first simple cells arose, and it took another billion years or so for some of them to evolve and join symbiotically into primitive multicellular organisms. These biochemical hives, through random mutations and the blind explorations of evolution, eventually led to creatures with the ability to remember, to anticipate and — at least in the case of humans — to wonder what it is all about.

Every step was a matter of happenstance, like the arbitrary combination of numbers — 3, 12, 31, 34, 51 and 24 — that qualified a Powerball winner for a $90 million prize this month. Some unknowing soul happened to enter a convenience store in Rifle, Colo., and — maybe with change from buying gasoline or a microwaved burrito — purchase a ticket just as the machine was about to spit out those particular numbers.

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According to the Powerball website, the chance of winning the grand prize is about one in 175 million. The emergence of humanlike intelligence, as Mayr saw it, was about as likely as if a Powerball winner kept buying tickets and — round after round — hit a bigger jackpot each time. One unlikelihood is piled on another, yielding a vanishingly rare event.

In one of my favorite books, “Wonderful Life,” Stephen Jay Gould celebrated what he saw as the unlikelihood of our existence. Going further than Mayr, he ventured that if a slithering creature called Pikaia gracilens had not survived the Cambrian extinction, about half a billion years ago, the entire phylum called Chordata, which includes us vertebrates, might never have existed.

Gould took his title from the Frank Capra movie in which George Bailey gets to see what the world might have been like without him — idyllic Bedford Falls is replaced by a bleak, Dickensian Pottersville.

For Gould, the fact that any of our ancestral species might easily have been nipped in the bud should fill us “with a new kind of amazement” and “a frisson for the improbability of the event” — a fellow agnostic’s version of an epiphany.

“We came this close (put your thumb about a millimeter away from your index finger), thousands and thousands of times, to erasure by the veering of history down another sensible channel,” he wrote. “Replay the tape a million times,” he proposed, “and I doubt that anything like Homo sapiens would ever evolve again. It is, indeed, a wonderful life.”

Other biologists have disputed Gould’s conclusion. In the course of evolution, eyes and multicellularity arose independently a number of times. So why not vertebrae, spinal cords and brains? The more bags of tricks an organism has at its disposal, the greater its survival power may be. A biological arms race ensues, with complexity ratcheted ever higher.

But those occasions are rare. Most organisms, as Daniel Dennett put it in “Darwin’s Dangerous Idea,” seem to have “hit upon a relatively simple solution to life’s problems at the outset and, having nailed it a billion years ago, have had nothing much to do in the way of design work ever since.” Our appreciation of complexity, he wrote, “may well be just an aesthetic preference.”

In “Five Billion Years of Solitude,” by Lee Billings, published last year, the author visited Frank Drake, one of the SETI pioneers.

“Right now, there could well be messages from the stars flying right through this room,” Dr. Drake told him. “Through you and me. And if we had the right receiver set up properly, we could detect them. I still get chills thinking about it.”

He knew the odds of tuning in — at just the right frequency at the right place and time — were slim. But that just meant we needed to expand the search.

“We’ve been playing the lottery only using a few tickets,” he said.

ARTICLE: Sound and Fury in Bank Settlements, Still Signifying Nothing By WILLIAM D. COHAN

Sound and Fury in Bank Settlements, Still Signifying Nothing

By WILLIAM D. COHAN

Once again last month, we were treated to the sorry spectacle of Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. holding a news conference to proclaim that a “too big to fail” bank had been brought to justice for its reprehensible behavior in the years leading up to the 2008 financial crisis. All things considered, it was fine theater with the obvious caveat that nothing even remotely close to justice had been served.

This time, Mr. Holder was taking a victory lap for strong-arming Citigroup into paying $7 billion — including a $4 billion cash penalty, the largest such single payment ever — to settle all civil claims against it for its role in packaging troubled mortgages into securities and selling them as investments in the years before the crisis, even though a bunch of Citigroup bankers knew better and did it anyway.

“This historic penalty is appropriate given the strength of the evidence of the wrongdoing committed by Citi,” Mr. Holder said. “The bank’s activities contributed mightily to the financial crisis that devastated our economy in 2008. Taken together, we believe the size and scope of this resolution goes beyond what could be considered the mere cost of doing business. Citi is not the first financial institution to be held accountable by this Justice Department, and it will certainly not be the last.”

For those following closely, as Mr. Holder alluded to in his statement, the Citigroup settlement was a repeat of the performance he gave last November when JPMorgan Chase paid $13 billion to settle similar claims against it. It is probably also serving as set-up for the show that Mr. Holder will be putting on again any day now when Bank of America capitulates to his demands for a settlement after months of threatening not to go along. Bank of America is expected to pay a fine of $16 billion to $17 billion to various government entities — eclipsing the $13 billion that JPMorgan paid — including a stunning $9 billion in cash.

That Mr. Holder prefers large settlements to prosecutions is no surprise to anyone familiar with the so-called Holder Doctrine, which stems from his now-famous June 1999 memorandum — when he was deputy attorney general — that included the thought that big financial settlements may be preferable to criminal convictions because a criminal conviction often carries severe unintended consequences, like loss of jobs and the inability to continue as a going concern. (See Andersen, Arthur, for instance.)

That Mr. Holder, as attorney general, is following through on an idea that he proposed as a subordinate 15 years ago does not make his behavior any less infuriating. The fact is that by settling with the big Wall Street banks for billions of dollars — money that comes out of their shareholders’ pockets — Mr. Holder is allowing them to avoid the sunshine that Louis Brandeis wrote 100 years ago was the best disinfectant. Instead of shining the bright light on wrongdoing that took place at the Wall Street banks, Mr. Holder’s settlements allow them to cover it up permanently.

And that helps no one. The American people are deprived of knowing precisely how bad things got inside these banks in the years leading up to the financial crisis, and the banks, knowing they will be saved the humiliation caused by the public airing of a trove of emails and documents, will no doubt soon be repeating their callous and indifferent behavior.

Instead of the truth, we get from the Justice Department a heavily negotiated and sanitized “statement of facts” about what supposedly went wrong. In the case of JPMorgan, the statement of facts was 21 pages but contained little of substance beyond the fact that an unidentified whistle-blower at the bank tried to alert her superiors to her belief that shoddy mortgages were being packaged and sold as securities. Her warnings went unheeded and the mortgages were packaged and sold all the same.

The explicit details of the bank’s wrongdoing were contained in a civil complaint that Benjamin B. Wagner, the United States attorney for the Eastern District of California, had drafted and threatened to file publicly if JPMorgan didn’t settle. Fearing disclosure of the contents of the complaint, JPMorgan caved to Mr. Holder’s demands. The bottom line was JPMorgan paid the $13 billion, in cash and in-kind, and the American people were deprived of finding out exactly what the bank did wrong.

A similar cat-and-mouse game took place in the Citigroup settlement. This time, though, the statement of facts was a mere nine pages and contained remarkably little substance beyond the fact that Citigroup packaged mortgages it should not have and sold them as securities to investors. In the most anodyne language, Citigroup conceded that it occasionally violated its own internal credit guidelines for mortgages but packaged them anyway. Here is a sample of what Citigroup admitted to in the statement of facts: “In certain instances, Citigroup securitized loans that its vendors had reported exceeded Citigroup’s valuation tolerances or where the vendor’s valuation determination exceeded the reported or appraised value.”

The only quasi-damning piece of evidence in the statement of facts came in the form of an email written by an anonymous trader who had reviewed a bunch of the mortgages that Citigroup intended to package and sell and realized that they were defective. The trader stated that he “went thru the diligence reports” — describing the mortgages — “and think that we should start praying… I would not be surprised if half of these loans went down. There are a lot of loans that have unreasonable incomes, values below the original appraisals” — where the loan-to-value ratio would exceed 100 percent, a no-no — “It’s amazing that some of these loans were closed at all.” No surprise, according to the statement of facts, “Despite this trader’s observations, Citigroup securitized loans from this pool” in two residential mortgage-backed securities.

The problem is, of course, that these settlements allow for the Wall Street bankers, traders and executives who write these kinds of emails and make these kinds of decisions to get away with their bad — and perhaps illegal — behavior without being held the slightest bit accountable. To the contrary, they were rewarded for making and selling these securities with huge bonuses that often ran into the millions of dollars. And then — thank you very much — Wall Street’s boards reward their exalted chief executives with higher bonuses for resolving these nettlesome legal matters. But all the chief executives did was use their shareholders’ money to make the lawsuits go away and cover up any trace of the bad behavior.

As usual, in any war, the first casualty is the truth. After the announcement of the Citigroup settlement, I received an email from Richard Bowen, a former Citigroup executive who had pinpointed the bank’s wrongdoing in securitizing the faulty mortgages it was buying. Well before the financial crisis hit, Mr. Bowen alerted the top executives of Citigroup about this malfeasance. Of course, Mr. Bowen’s clarion call was ignored and the bank fired him. (I have written about Mr. Bowen before, and “60 Minutes” did a feature on him, too.)

The Citigroup settlement has left him flabbergasted. “In July of 2008, I gave the S.E.C. 1,000 pages documenting fraud and the false representations given to investors in many securitizations and subsequently provided additional evidence to the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission and the Department of Justice,” he wrote in his email. “In light of the huge losses this behavior caused our country, it is outrageous that, six years later, a settlement of only civil fraud charges would be announced, with no individuals being held accountable and no real admission of wrongdoing or true penalties assessed.” Mr. Bowen figures the Justice Department lets these banks get away with a whitewash of their bad behavior so as not to provide a litigation road map for investors who were burned by the faulty securities.

Something tells me this is precisely the way the powers that be wanted to be

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: I WANT TO BE LOVED

I used to want to be admired. Well, now I want to be loved. If we were a couple .....there are couple of acitivies that I want to experience.We would exercise together ...there is nothing like going for a great bike ride together or for a quick run before bedtime. We would notes to each other.Give each other small inexpensive presents. Cook together – cooking together is very fun Its about the small sacrifices. ” Igloo time – for five minutes every day , we hide under the blanket and make it like an igloo , we just talk about our high and lows of the day ”.Relax together – we cant just want to kick back our shoes and relax in front of the TV watching our favorite show. I would let you have the last bite of anything food We will dance– anywhere we can , we will hold one and other and move to some sound of music . doesn’t have to be a public place, as long as we both do it . its magical.I would take random pictures of you when you are not looking  - show you that I don’t take you for granted, send you random pictures of you every now and then with a simple text message that says ” i’m so lucky. Prepare your toothbrush. And finally just be there for you because sometimes you just need to be there and hold hands  to say all you ever need

I would spend the rest of my life falling as far and deep and hard as my heart will let me go in love with you. Now my heart is desperate in my chest, like a bird crashing into a window over and over again, confused that it can't get to what it sees and wants, and willing to kill itself in the attempt to remedy thatI will never break your heart. I will never hurt you. I might mess up, I might not be perfect, but I'll never hurt you, You have my word.If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

ARTICLE: Does The Soul Exist? This Ends The Debate Once And For All - Written by Steven Bancarz|

 A lot of people are resistant to the idea of a  “soul” because of how this term has gotten wrapped up in religious superstition and dogma.  Some people think it is outright silly.  But the concept of consciousness being able to detach from the body offers a lot of explanatory power when it comes to phenomenon such as Near Death Experiences, Out-Of-Body Experiences, astral projections, and even reincarnation.  In fact, the evidence for reincarnation is the best hard scientific evidence we have for the existence of a soul.   This is a bold claim, but the evidence for reincarnation is undeniable and cannot collectively be attributed to chance or any other physical explanation.  If reincarnation exists, the soul exists.  Let’s take a look!

Before we explore the evidence, it’s helpful to remember that we do not need hard PROOF in order to be justified in believing in something.  If the weatherman says there is a 70% chance of showers, I don’t need proof that it’s going to rain before I am justified in bringing an umbrella with me.  I don’t have to be certain that a meteor isn’t going to fall on my head before I go outside.  I don’t need hard scientific proof of extra-terrestrial life in order to be justified in believing that life exists on other planets, because there are so many good reasons that, when taken together cumulatively, provide a plausible account for belief in life on other planets.  This is known as “abductive reasoning” and is the kind of reasoning we use most in our every day lives.

Reincarnation is not something you can objectively measure in the same way you can measure a chemical reaction, so it may even be in principle non-provable using the scientific method. So the question is, “Are there enough solid pieces of evidence that, when taken together, justify a belief in reincarnation?” I think the answer is a resounding yes.  Here we go:

Dr. Ian Stevenson, Ph.D., former Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, spent 40 years researching reincarnation stories within children. This former chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Neurology investigated over 3000 independent stories of children who claimed to have memories and know people from their alleged past lives.  According to Stevenson, the number of cases that are worth considering is so high that it exceeds the ability of him and his team to investigate them all.

Facial recognition software confirmed that there was in fact a facial resemblance to their alleged prior incarnation. Some had birth marks on places where they allegedly suffered fatal wounds from in their past life. They were often dramatic and sometimes bizarre lesions, such as malformed digits or missing limbs, misshapen heads, and odd markings. As Dr. Stevenson writes in his paper “Birthmarks and Birth Defects Corresponding to Wounds on Deceased Persons” in the peer-reviewed Journal of Scientific Exploration:

“About 35% of children who claim to remember previous lives have birthmarks and/or birth defects that they (or adult informants) attribute to wounds on a person whose life the child remembers. The cases of 210 such children have been investigated. The birthmarks were usually areas of hairless, puckered skin; some were areas of little or no pigmentation (hypopigmented macules); others were areas of increased pigmentation (hyperpigmented nevi).

The birth defects were nearly always of rare types. In cases in which a deceased person was identified the details of whose life unmistakably matched the child’s statements, a close correspondence was nearly always found between the birthmarks and/or birth defects on the child and the wounds on the deceased person. In 43 of 49 cases in which a medical document (usually a postmortem report) was obtained, it confirmed the correspondence between wounds and birthmarks (or birth defects).”

The memories the children recalled were far too specific to be chalked up to chance. In an article where 3 cases were looked at in great detail by Dr. Stevenson, he reported that each of the 3 children made roughly 30-40 claims regarding memories that had of their past lives, 82-92% of which were both verifiable and correct.  The particularities and specific details that were given by the children ranged from anything from the names, personalities, and occupations of their former parents and siblings to the precise layouts of the houses they lived in.  It was not uncommon for Stevenson to encounter a child who could go into a town he had never been in before and give him the details of the village, former personal belongings, the neighbourhood in which he lived in a past life, and the people who he use to associate with.

As he concludes: “It was possible in each case to find a family that had lost a member whose life corresponded to the subject’s statements. The statements of the subject, taken as a group, were sufficiently specific so that they could not have corresponded to the life of any other person. We believe we have excluded normal transmission of the correct information to the subjects and that they obtained the correct information they showed about the concerned deceased person by some paranormal process.”

Something which interested Dr. Stevenson was the phobias that were developed from past-life traumas.  As Dr. Jim Tucker writes:

“Another area that interested Ian was the behavior of these children. He wrote a paper about phobias that many of the children showed, usually related to the mode of death from the life they claimed to remember (Stevenson, 1990a). He reported that 36% of the children in a series of 387 cases showed such fears. They occurred when the children were very young, sometimes before they had made their claims about the previous life. For example, he described a girl in Sri Lanka who as a baby resisted baths so much that three adults had to hold her down to give her one. By the age of six months, she also showed a marked phobia of buses and then later described the life of a girl in another village who had been walking along a narrow road between flooded paddy fields when she stepped back to avoid a bus going by, fell into the flood water, and drowned.”  The original journal article these findings were published can be found here.

What seems to be more than mere chance is that children were able to accurately identify former acquaintances and relationships they had with people in their prior lives. Most impressively was a Lebanese girl who was able to remember and identify 25 different people from her past life and the interpersonal relationships she had with them. His best findings were put together in a book called Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation.  For further reading, this book would really be your best bet.  The American Journal of Psychiatry reviewed these cases and said there were ‘‘cases recorded in such full detail as to persuade the open mind that reincarnation is a tenable hypothesis to explain them’’. He had several other books and papers published and widely accepted in the mainstream community.

As a review in the Journal of the American Medical Association stated ‘‘In regard to reincarnation he has painstakingly and unemotionally collected a detailed series of cases from India, cases in which the evidence is difficult to explain on any other grounds.’’ The reviewer added: ‘‘He has placed on record a large amount of data that cannot be ignored’’.  His one paper called ‘‘The Explanatory Value of the Idea of Reincarnation’’ had thousands of requests for reprints by scientists all over the world.  His findings were also published in peer reviewed journals the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, and the International Journal of Comparative Sociology.

During a presentation at Penn State University in 2005, Dr. Jim B. Tucker, a child psychiatrist at the University of Virginia, described how a mother was leaning over the changing table to change her son’s diaper. Her young toddler unexpectedly said, “When I was your age, I used to change your diapers.” Sam Taylor, of Vermont, was born 18 months following his grandfather’s death. When he made this comment, he was only a few years old. When he was four and a half years old, however, Taylor was able to pick out his grandfather from a class picture of about 20 people and identify his grandfather’s first car from a photograph.

Here is video of a young boys reincarnation story covered by ABC news to provide you a glimpse into the nature of these cases.  It’s important to note that this case is American, so the parents are not influencing or encouraging the boy to believe in reincarnation in the name of culture or religion:



This is just a small fraction of the amount of evidence that exists for reincarnation.  Upon coming to a conclusion about all his findings and his publications, we have to ask ourselves “What is the best explanation that can accommodate all of this evidence?”  Why would there be so many cases of children who claim to have been other people, who know the specific names and interpersonal relationships of the person they recall being, who have similar behaviour and personalities as the people they claimed to be, who have birthmarks and abnormalities where they claimed to have suffered wounds in their past lives, and who have specific phobias linked back to alleged past life traumas if reincarnation did not exist?  What are the odds of all of this evidence existing without the soul existing?   The accounts are far too precise to be chalked up as chance, and all other explanations are impoverished in trying to explain such a wide array of data.

Reincarnation can no longer be looked at as some woo-woo, pseudoscientific, religiously dogmatic New Age fantasy, and neither can the soul.  We can infer the reality of the soul because it is the best explanation for all of the given data.  This is a hypothesis which has gotten serious attention in the mainstream academic community, and is still ripe with investigation to this day.  When we take all the evidence together and look at it without religious or scientific bias getting in the way, it seems as though we are not only justified in believing in reincarnation, but it also may be the best of all explanations for the strongest cases.

“It is not surprising to be born more than once; everything in nature is resurrection”  —Voltaire

More evidence for the existence of the soul can be found in the links below:

Harvard trained brain neurosurgeon has the most legitimate NDE ever recorded

Dr. Robert Lanza and Dr. Stuart Hameroff offer scientific models/explanations for the existence of the soul.

Sources:

Sources to original articles can be found in the highlighted words in the article.

Laidlaw, R. W. (1967). Review of Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation. American Journal of Psychiatry, 124, 128.

King, L. S. (1975). Reincarnation. JAMA, 234, 978

http://www.medicine.virginia.edu/clinical/departments/psychiatry/sections/cspp/dops/case_types-page#CORT

http://www.examiner.com/article/reincarnation-scientific-evidence

- See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/does-the-soul-exist-this-ends-the-debate/#sthash.AXKDQ6zs.dpuf