POETRY: TASTE YOU UPON MY LIPS

Longing for the clash of traits,
To be under my control.
Under my power.

I long to change your selfishness,
While I relish your surplus of benefactors.
I long to open my heart,
Without worry of any oppressors of love.
Without the threat of losing my trust.
My faith.

My faith in the most powerful force there is.
That force?s false identity is love.
Love is a false identity,
Because love is a word for happiness.
A word for joy.
A word for peace.

While love can bring these ephemeral feelings,
It more often brings hurt, hate and jealousy.
I long for a love,
Where I am safe from hurt, hate and jealousy.
A love like yours.

A love I long for here in my bed,
Every night.
These dragged on twenty-four hours a day,
Seem more like twenty-four years.

How many more
Long, tedious and torturous hours
Must I wait,
Longing for your embrace?
Your sweet embrace.

How many more
Tears shall I spill,
Longing for your tender lips
To press against mine?

How much more
Must my heart bleed,
Longing for you?


2

Her lips touch mine only as a hopeful memory
Unrealized moments, long forgotten
A hint of sensual awareness playing in the neural net.

Tides of reckless recollection gambol about
As I, in my folly, remain as but an archetype on the wheel of love
A lover caught in the paradigm of romance
Spinning upon the carousel of life.

She comes to me daily, a wraith in my thoughts
Her beauty amplified by the Goddess,
Her song, a melody of her mystery.
O Daughter of Gaia, encircle me with your femininity
Even as you enchant me with your vibrancy.

She arrived in my world with a question,
Inquisitive and curious
A fragrant blossom taking root in the parklands of my being
Greeting my consciousness with her goodness.

Truly a daughter of  angelic origin,
She inhabits that region within
Where the spark that is love gets ignited
And once lit remains
As a beacon, a reminder, a guide
An illumination of the capability of the spirit.

I sense her certitude as she questions what is
Her competence matched by her beauty.
Partake of the reservoir of the Goddess within
Know that you are loved even as you embody love.
For you are a gift
Presented to those in your sphere as a reminder
Of the sanctity of a woman.

A memory of hope traverses my anima
And passes through me with a sigh
For I remember.


3

My love,
Oh, how I love thee,
No words can describe my love for you,
No song can be as beautiful as our love for each other,
I would sail across oceans to see you,
I would fly across the world to kiss you,
I would walk over lands to be with you forever,
My Love!

Star-Cross'd-Lovers

Star-Cross'd-Lovers                  
I was born to love you;
You were born to love me.
We must have loved each other in heaven,
For destiny chose us to be... Star-Cross'd-Lovers


4

How come every time I close my eyes
  you're all I see
Why is is that when I'm not around you 
  you're all I think about
I don't understand why when I take a shower
  I still only smell you
Am I supposed to always 
  taste you upon my lips
Why do I dream about you holding me in your arms
  before I even touch you
When someone whispers I can't help but
  stop and hope to hear your sweet voice again

If it's just me well I guess I will have to live with it 
but I am beginning to think my senses 
are leaning towards you...

POETRY: THE DEEPEST LOVE

The deepest love always
comes from the heart.
My deepest love is
the love I have for you.
Our love is perfect and right
it comes from deep inside our hearts.
My love for you will stay strong
as long as it's the deepest love from my heart.
Love from the bottom of our hearts,
is the only way to make
our relationship worthwhile.
The deepest love
is my only way to show
how I really feel about you.
It comes from the
deepest part of my heart.


2


Love starts within and expands outward;
There is no end to where love goes.
Time doesn't measure how far love will progress,
Just the heart's need of it.

The mind keeps love alive
With all the imagination in its soul which love holds.
That look we treasure, the passion we build on,
Leave none to fill.

When bodies touch and the need is filling,
That passion lingers on for infinity.
Love is like a rushing river, it runs long and deep,
Feeds its tributaries and we grow strong because of it.

That devotion, with all of its rewards is but a sample
Of all that is rich in the seductiveness of oneself.
Love that is true doesn't care about the negative
Only the positive

And enjoys the wonders of all of it,
And shines with the warmth of that love.


3

It is impossible to capture in words
  the feelings I have for you
I now have the strongest feelings
  that I have ever had about anyone
Yet, when I try to tell you them
  or try to write them down for you

The words do not even begin to touch
  the depths of my feelings for you
And though I cannot explain
  the essence of these phenomenally feelings
I can tell you what I feel like
  when I am with you...

When I am with you it is as if:
    I were a bird
       Flying freely in the clear blue sky
    I were a flower
       Opening up my petals of life

When I am with you it is as if:
   I were the waves of the sea
       Crashing strongly against the shore
   I were the rainbow after the storm
       Proudly showing my colors so pure and vividly

When I am with you it is as if
Everything that's beautiful surrounds us...

This is just a small part
  of how wonderful I feel when I am with you
Maybe the word "Love" was invented
  to explain the deep heart felt
  all-encompassing feelings we feel and enjoy

But, somehow, it is not strong enough
Yet, since it is the BEST word there is
Let me tell YOU a thousand times that
I Love YOU more than LOVE!!!!!



4

On a day such as this when sunshine begins to rise upon us
And the night-time of enchanting stars leave, for a time faded,
I fumble in the hue of morning, outstretch my hand to touch you
I am taken in by this moment in time with thoughts of just you and me
And the love that willingly seeded itself inside both of us
Bound together, it is a love full of song for one another to nurture
We encircle each other's world through each day's passing
There it can still be found sharing the same existence 
within our hearts
Within a halo of unity it gathers all the precious things 
only life can bring
As we greet each day, together hand in hand, 
bringing with it a soft freshness
Awakening us to find reasons anew 
to fall in love all over again and again
As the summer's warm afternoon sun shifts aimlessly among the clouds
The air vividly wisps by our shoulders 
with its gentle voice of touch
Singing to you and me, a love song of joy 
emitting all the scents of life
Often it is love that helps us 
recognize the abundance of compassion that we possess
Bringing forth forgotten feelings 
that in time may become lost in a hidden cascade
Reacquainting wisdom to the mind 
to open our hearts for the other to find shelter
As the day slowly unfolds all of its passion for life 
within one another's eyes
Blossomed, it has become the seed to grow 
and become an unconditional love
For it to unfold into our arms 
for what is now caring giving loving and needing
The essence of what true love is 
in sharing a lifetime with the one who holds your soul
To be awakened with the sun arising 
and to gaze at the enchanting stars approaching
To dream and be loved  
be loved and to dream with the other one that is your heart

POETRY: ONLY FOR YOU

There's a particular person, a certain special someone,a very specific individual with whom I wanna discover secret places in the Land of Love.You are that someone,who perfectly fits my vision of the perfect mate and I hope you feel that I fit yours too.In all areas of life, let us experience more, create more and enjoy life more with all of our love. This is the year that leads our love life into new territory where we will share life's new found wonders. Please, join me to the most beautiful place I know, come with me to the Land of Love.



I look at you and can only see,
My love, my life, my Eternity.

With you there is no end,
Let's hold each other, our love to tend,

In this chaotic world of ours,
One thing is for sure in my heart,

You finish the circle throughout my life,
Like a never ending fire through the night,

Mystic colors swirl 'round,
Only for you will they die down,

Keep me on your mind and in your thoughts,
What we have, my love, cannot be bought.



2


As I look into your face,
I see you so benign.
I'm lost within your crystal eyes,
And I cannot close mine.

I get lost within your smile,
And wander aimlessly.
Through ecstasy and endless bliss,
So peaceful and so free.

All I have to do is see,
Your precious procelain skin.
My eyes light up like burning fire,
And I am lost within.

I never want to leave here.
This feeling is so nice.
I look into your eyes
And I am lost in paradise.



3

A break from all the stress,
remembering that day we shared.
When I'm too old to remember,
I will still have this...
My eyes caress your face,
those lines my fingers
knew so well.
That smile...
your beauty, unknown to you
shines for all to see.
But more important-
the beauty inside, not seen
you shared with me.
Those eyes...
gentle, loving, laughing,
staring at me.
I return the smile...
refreshed, renewed.


4


When I am with you
moments are endless.
I helplessly gravitate
to your sensual embrace
forcing me to fall.

When I am with you
life ceases and heaven begins.
The encompassing passion demands
that I surrender myself.

When I am with you 
I know nothing of the person.
I am in your absence.
The reality of life is seemingly imaginative,
And my imagination knows not of reality.

When I am with you,
The undescribable passion and bliss
is more than I could have ever conceived possible.

I would then assume the inevitable question
isn't whether or not passion and bliss are prevalent-
The universe will forever testify.  
The question is, rather, whether or not
the inconceivable magnitude of it all
is accepted and by each...

Because in accepting, 
one cannot be hesitant or unwilling
to embrace this immense opportunity set before him.

Passion overrides the consequences.
And when I am with you,
Passion overrides all

PERSONAL: I AM THE MAN OF YOUR DREAM

I want to let you in on a secret, I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me. I'm the man of your dreams masquerading as  post on this site. Sometimes I want to rip off this façade, but I can't because you'll get scared and you'll run away again. So I decided that it's better to live with the lie than expose my true feelings. My mom told me there are two types of men: the ones you grow out of, and the ones you grow into. I really hope I'm the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll come back to me. Because I think you're worth the wait.


Every day is spent dreaming of holding you; touching you and feeling you close to this love.         Each day is, met with hopes and dreams. The hope of waking up with you next to me and the dreams of holding you, each night as we drift off to sleep. When I was young, I would draw images of the woman I would love and I wish I still had those drawings to prove to you, that it was you I have dreamed of all along. With poems, love letters, romantic dinners and roses, I will show my love for you every day I am given. Never will I let a moment, to show you my love, pass.

If only you could see inside my heart and know that this love I feel for you is as eternal as the universe, reaching beyond the existence of time, itself. You will never spend a day of your life without my love for this love will burn for you just as surely as the sun, burns in the sky.
You own my heart and no one else could ever hope to have this love. They may try but where they try, they shall fail. I belong to you. You have all of my love and everything that makes me exist. One day, you will become my wife and together, we will love one another. After all, you cannot expect me to live without your love You, my love, are the world to me and so much more. When I hold you, the world fades away and all that is left is the two of us. The hardest part is waiting for you…I become disoriented until my mind steadies itself in the hope that I will be with you. Hope has brought you to me, Faith shall help me keep you always, and Love is all you 
   

When you get older, you tend to think that the window for true love, for romance and longing that makes you so crazy you can't sleep, for desire that keeps you waiting by the phone counting the seconds until she responds to a text — well, you think that window is closed.Because nothing gets easier as you get older. It gets harder. It gets harder to find a reason to let yourself love. It gets harder to be single, and it gets harder to be a couple.So when you find her, when you find the one who makes you crazy, the one you thought would never show up, you buy a ring. You get down on one knee. You stand up in front of your family and say I do. I will. I promise.You hold on.That's my plan.I'm holding on.

POETRY: ALL THIS IS TO SAY...I LOVE YOU

At times I wonder what makes you so special;
is it your eyes, your nose,
your mouth, or your ears?

In your eyes I saw an everlasting romance,
your mouth told me the truth of your real feelings for me,
and your nose played, as a silly tool,
of your quite enchanting beauty

Your kiss is the kiss of warmth and security
on cold winter days;
your kiss is like a cool breeze
on a scorching summer's day.

your heart runs a beat, as mine skips a beat,
only to see your lovely face;
each time I see you is like the first...
every minute is ever so exciting
(Oh, how I love you!!!)

and, in your eyes I see stars dance,
playing friend to the wolves in the moonlight
you act as the ocean... riding a wave against my shore,
or the sun's rays of warmth in the early day.

all this is to say, "I love you"...
an exotic love that is so everlasting....
and by the cycles of these stars
our fate shall twist to this amazing fairy tale



2


If you love me, like you've told me,
Please be careful with my heart.
You can have it and keep it,
But please do not try to break it.

Lovers come and go,
Give up on each other
And fine another.

I want a lover that is true,
sincere, honest and pure,
Someone who never gives up
And will always make me laugh,
Someone who lives in the present,
forgets the past and shapes the future.

A dreamer who would still listen
A lover and also a friend.

Someone who would trust and love me,
Won't lock me up but will set me free
Don't worry, you'll always be with me.

Someone who would stay forever,
My dream lover, it is now or never.



3


The love I have for you,
soars past the stars.

The love I have for you,
could fill an ocean.

The love I have for you,
shines brighter than the sun.

The love I have for you,
melts faster than an m&m.

The love I have for you,
is for you and only you


4

A glimpse of your gaze,
Numbs my mind with questions.
The very sight of you,
How breathtakingly beautiful.
Your ever short kisses,
Alwayz gentle and sweet.
Your varied embraces,
So strong and secure.
The essence of you,
How heavenly pleasing.
Your voice and laughter,
Alwayz music to my ears.

...Know that ALL are,
Already treasured memories.
For you are all mine,
Even if only an uncertain time.
Today, and numerous tomorrows.


5


I never knew why people always compare you to an angel.
I never knew why people love you more than anything--
Everywhere I go people from all over the world are talking about you.
Then, one day I was sitting down and my heart was feeling pain.

When I looked up and I saw your face and you took my hand,
you took me to a special place where I have never been before.
I have learned the reason why people called you an angel.
You have shown me things; that I meant to love somebody.

People have never called me an angel.
Yet, when I was with you,
I felt like I was an angel.
You have taught me how to love another.

I never knew why the sun shined so brightly,
But I got the answer from your smile.
I realized that one day spent with you
felt like we'd spent one billion years together.

You were the angel that showed me what happiness was all about.
You were the angel that made life better than ever.
Without you, my life would not mean anything to me at all.
You would always be the one and only angel that would always be on my mind.

For, you deserve to be called an angel.



6


Your soft eyes in the morning dew,
are more beautiful than I could ever dream,

What would I think, if I didn't have your love,
I'd be lost in an empty city...china-puzzle unsolved?
Secret within secret- within secret- within...
only you can keep me on track, make me win!

Let's elope, let's leave all this behind.
I only want your love, delicate, sweet and kind?

With the tip of my tongue I gently catch what I seek,
a tear trickling down, ever so slowly, from your cheek.
It's salty, yet exquisite taste, exploding on my tongue,
as I wonder, tell,? my love ? ...have I ever wronged?

Your delicate eyes probe my soul for confidence,
for faith and valour, for truth and immaculate credence.
That harness my heart, fulfil my every need,
make me your knight on a silvery steed!

Oh, how I long for days of yore, of legends turned to dust,
when courtship and high love, bravery and loyalty,
were more than mere words spoken in trust,
and forever showed us the way to... infinity.




7

The visitation of eyes, 
so cordial and sincere... 
the angels cry.

The color of kiwi, 
unsalted is the juice therein.
Surrounding is the color 
that lives within the stem of the Weeping Willow...
free are their spirits dancing in the wind.

Touched by these Heavenly beams,
(my pen inspired and my mind empowered
with exhibitions of fairness)
they behold glory 
you are not perceptive of.
They are the d?r of my heart 
and a trail of sweet verses 
that lead to my soul.

PERSONAL/ DATING: SERENDIPITY AND DATING

In my opinion, too many people believe in the power of Serendipity.  They think some random meeting at the zoo or the grocery store will magically pay off with the love of their life.  Maybe so, but the odds aren’t very good.In my opinion, the Serendipity approach is like trying to hit the Lottery.  The math is simply not in your favor. I have no trouble acquiring new girlfriends I know It's sounds arrogant and cruel but there have been a number of meetings with women where I've known that the person would very much like to meet again, they've said so, An establish man, with a secure job, house and is attractive still has undeniable attractions, even for a career woman,.I don’t really have the time now to go out with as many girls  and now I am looking for something  more serious I have certain standards. She should be slim, take an interest in her appearance and look great, kind, caring, established in her career and ready to settle down and have kids Looks are important but the whole is greater than the parts..I think there are a lot of lonely people out there.  Everybody is trying to make that romance connection.  All of us deep down want to make that jump, but the odds of it working are so precarious that we hold back. The reason people are lonely is that they are not making themselves available. They show up at all the best parties, but even then they may not be making themselves emotionally available.  They are waiting for a sure thing or the perfect guy. Every attractive woman I have ever met had one, two, even three guys falling all over her. I keep a close watch on my heart.  I don’t open my heart up to any woman unless she makes a similar move.  It’s like getting undressed.  No way I am getting naked if the woman is keeping her clothes on.  I take my clothes at the same rate or not at all.  I'm not getting attached if she isn't also getting attached.  In the meantime, I have spent time with my family and friends. Lately I had just met alot if beautiful woman who were dream girls  for almost any single guyl, but men came so easily to them they weren’t even remotely interested in settling down! Were there any solid woman somewhere in the middle?  Surely these creatures had to exist or the human race was in big trouble,If a smart guy like me could comb the entire city and come up empty-handed, what did that say for all my brother?   My friends had warned me at the start that finding the Right woman would be harder than I ever imagined.  Holy smokes, no kidding! Yes, I had found a hundred women through personal ads and dating services, but only three or four had distinguished themselves. When I think of the women I’ve really loved, I realize I’m fascinated by women who were kind, sexual, who may be smarter than I am, who won’t’ let me play games.  I want a woman who will show me new things, won’t give up on me when I resist, and who have the ability to share.

Throughout time, men had never really questioned their own tendencies towards wanting to have every attractive woman they came into contact with.  But when women began to behave the same way, men weren’t prepared for that.  They began to wonder how special could they really be if their favorite woman could disengage from them so easily.  How could she really love him if she was having so much fun with the guy down the street?  Men were not even remotely prepared to deal with the deeper consequences of free love. The Book of Love has many chapters.  We all want what we can’t have.  I can have all these women, but I want the ones I can’t have.  I want someone who is my equal, my match, or maybe I can catch someone a grade above me.  Unfortunately the woman who I think are my match avoid commitment like the plague.  Men come so easily to them that they amuse themselves in a flurry of dating.  Why bother settling down?

POETRY: TO LOVE DEEPLY, YOU MUST SURRENDER

Her face, so smooth
so contoured. Flawless
Her eyes, deep with desire
burning with the fire of love

Her hair, smelling so sweet
golden, soft, fine
The way it hides behind her ear
falling in a single strand over her face

Her body, God her body, so curved
so arousing
Her breasts full and shaped
Her legs, smooth and perfect

Her smile, perfectly curved
teeth white,radiantly bringing
out her beauty

Her deep gaze into my eyes
Her person, so open so accepting

All of this in itself
All of this together
Makes her, her
Makes her beautiful


2


Love is like a blindfold
That blinds the eyes from every fault
That's why they say love is blind
For nothing it sees, when it's high

Love is like a raging wind
That blows away the sorrow of the heart
All the loneliness the mind has known
Will be torn apart by the touch of love

Love is like a flowing river
That carries away the filthy thoughts of life
Wherever it passes it washes clean
And makes them white and bright as snow

Love is like a rose-colored flower
Planted in every heart that it dwells
Its fragrance gladdens the heart
And makes one want to stay for life

Love is like a diamond in the sun
That shines so bright in every human heart
Like angelic light and shining stars
It lightens up the day till the end



3


Speechless, the first impression
I felt when I met you.
'Cause you're so beautiful...
more beautiful than I ever expected.

Every time I always imagine,
imagine that I could see your pretty
face again and imagining that
someday, somehow I can hold you
and talk to you again.

Whenever I lie on my bed
I'm always thinking about you...
and picturing you, and I'm always
praying that I could dream of you.
'Cause every time I see you in
my dreams, you make my heart
jump for joy and sadness turns
away from me

And when I am awake
I feel gladness because of my
beautiful dream that happened to me.

I'm always praying to God
that He will  give you strength
and good health because you are so
very so special to me. You're
the greatest thing that happened to me
and no one else can make me feel
the colors that you bring to
my life. I'll care for you always


4


you: pron. The person or persons addressed

me: pron. The objective case of the pronoun I

love: n. Intense affection for another

forever: adv. For eternity; without end



5

To love deeply, 
you must surrender to 
God's will.
You must risk the pain
of loss.
You must release your
fear.

A hug will warm your
heart.
A kiss will touch your
soul.
True love will transcend and
take heavenly
form.

It is a knowledge that can
Change, 
 Transform, 
   and Enlighten.

DATING: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH BAD BOYS INSTEAD OF GOOD GUYS?

More and more I am surrounded by women over 35 years of age who want to get married, but cannot find a suitable partner. They have heard the best places to go for singles over 35, have been set up on numerous blind dates, have joined online dating, and still don’t have a ring on their finger. These women are educated, have a great job, great homes, gorgeous, and would make the perfect wife. What’s wrong? When I talk with these women, many think the problem may rest with the guys. Guys in their age range want younger, less established women, or cougars who are self-made and don’t need the guy’s financial backing, or his ability to procreate in order to share a life together. But if I take a bit longer and talk more in-depth with these women, then I begin to see that it may not be the men at all. It may in fact be the way these women are feeling toward themselves or what they are projecting outward that is limiting their ability to find a suitable partner for marriage.

Many of us don’t understand that how we feel inside really does project on the outside. If you feel cynical, judgmental or unhappy, no matter how much your latest haircut, manicurist, trainer, or diet fad costs, your looks will reflect how you feel. If you have been let down by men beginning with your dad when you were six, or by your boyfriend who got stolen from you when you were 17 years old, and you never resolved it, then you will attract a man who gets stolen from you or abandons you time after time. When a man becomes interested in you, they take a look at you and already know their destiny. There are things you have to look at within yourself whenever you are seeking something or someone. These thoughts/tapes are often the reason most women over 35 who want to get married are not.

 Life has taught you to be critical. Men are emotional beings just as women are. They enjoy sex, but they want to build a life with women who are kind and loving. There is a saying that “every man loves a bitch.” This is misinterpreted by many women. Men like a confident woman who is capable of loving herself and others. Men do not like mean women. If a man is drawn to a mean woman, it says more about his family of origin than it does about the woman. Be careful…do you want to be with a man who likes mean women? Really?

Your standard of measurement is askew. Often, women who want to marry but aren’t married are still looking for someone cute.  Sexual attraction is important, but in regards to a husband, what are most important are honesty and character.  Being honest with yourself is not valued. The majority of single women over 35 who want to be married are in relationships with people that they don’t really love or see a future with. They lie to these guys and tell them such things as, “Yeah, its okay if we don’t get married.” They move in with him and begin a life, many times committing years of their lives to a man who is never going to commit to them because they are afraid if they tell him the truth he will leave. If you want to get married, make it known, be authentic up front, and don’t settle for someone who is still trying to flirt with everything he sees.

 You don’t like yourself. Women who are single and over a certain age become very self-focused. They begin to see all of their flaws (especially with looks); the world becomes totally centered on them. The more this happens, the more they repel others.  Soon, they find themselves alone and begin to think they don’t deserve anyone. When a man is looking for a wife, any vibes of self hate come through loud and clear. Somehow they get it, that you cannot possibly love them any more than you can love yourself. If you disgust you, how can you possibly love them?

The only reason to get married is because you have decided that this person brings out the very best in you and you in them. The thought of not sharing your life with them is worse than the thought of losing everything else in your life.  It takes that kind of commitment from both of you. Marriage is a lifestyle; the vows are sacred. Prepare yourself to be a good partner instead of focusing on how messed up single guys/women are over 35 years of age.

JOURNAL: FORGIVING YOURSELF

Here I am looking at the point of how I have defined the word ‘intimacy’ as something outside of myself, separate from myself. When I look at the word intimacy, I can see how I have defined this within having a relationship – preferably with my ‘ideal’ relationship partner, which is another point I have written about extensively in previous blog posts. So, I have defined intimacy as something that exists within a relationship, separating myself from intimacy and placing it within a relationship, so that apparently the experience of intimacy is only possible within a relationship. Within the relationship, intimacy is further defined as a lot of touching, hugging, kissing, sex, and ‘deep’ conversations, which is another way of saying conversations that are emotionally charged, usually with the energy of fear.

I have neglected myself, I have avoided self reflection and really facing who I am and what I’ve become, extensively, while in pursuit of love, relationships, and all kinds of ‘higher’ energetic experiences – living a life where I am always looking for the next high because within myself I am ‘empty’ in a kind of way, because by not being intimate with myself, I had abandoned myself, and thus was this insatiable appetite for energetic highs through experiences was created, which I then searched out in romantic relationships.

Thus now it is time do bring myself back to myself, to again become intimate with myself in self honesty, facing who I am and what I have become as a living principle of doing what is best for all life, as from this starting point, I can direct myself in a way that is effective in taking all life into consideration, so that my life is not wasted in a bubble of exclusion, but is rather based on the intimate understanding that all life is one and equal, and thus who I am and how I live should be oriented as such.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself with relationships – focusing on my relationship and my partner so that I am not self directive and focused on myself, and giving my attention and concern to my partner and the survival of the relationship, rather than to first be intimate with myself and focus on myself and that what I am living and who I am is that which is best for all life. Thus I commit myself to bring myself back here through breathing, and to focus myself on myself by utilizing tools like breathing, writing, self honesty, self forgiveness and self corrective application – when and as I see myself being prompted to participate in my tendency to look to others/my partner as a way of essentially taking attention away from myself and distracting myself from my only real ‘power’ as an ability to have any real effect in my living and changing this world to a place that is best for all, I stop, and I breathe, and I do not participate in such desires as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, and rather breathe through the fear that drives me to focus on my partner that is justified as the fear of losing the relationship

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined intimacy as something that exists separate from myself, that can only be achieved and experienced through romantic relationships with a beautiful woman, and that I have further defined intimacy within a relationship as touching, kissing, hugging and sex – not seeing and realizing that intimacy is here – it starts with me, alone with myself, being intimate with myself in getting to know myself and standing as life within/principles that consider and are best for all life – thus I commit myself to redefine and live the word ‘intimacy’ as starting with myself, being honest with myself, directing myself, and living a life that takes my self as life/all life into consideration as equal and one, and thus I commit myself to stop the desire to experience intimacy as something separate from myself as sex and sexual touching within a relationship and rather insist that intimacy be expressed from a starting point of self honesty: as self intimacy, equal and one to/as life

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined intimacy as having ‘deep conversations’ with my partner that are emotionally charged, and that I have allowed myself to yearn for this experience/try and create it where I have not first been intimate and honest with myself – thus I commit myself to stop trying to ‘create an experience of intimacy in my relationship as having deep conversations with my partner as a form of trying to control the relationship from a starting point of trying to maintain the survival of the relationship, and rather I begin with self intimacy as self honesty, as the point from which all other self expression as intimacy may emerge, without the fear of losing control of my relationship as the attempt of the mind to try and continue to maintain control by keeping the definition of intimacy as something separate from self within/as a relationship – when/as I see this desire to have an experience of intimacy as deep conversation arise within me, I stop, I breathe, as I see, realize and understand that this is the mind trying to control me through maintaining intimacy as something defined separate from self within a relationship, as the mind is extremely tricky in presenting projections of intimacy that appear real and fulfilling – and thus I remain here as breath and do not participate when such desires arise as my thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined intimacy as creating some kind of experience with my partner wherein we feel like there is a ‘connection’ between us because we have stimulated each other sufficiently into feeling good through having positive thoughts about ourselves, the other and the relationship as such experiences are in alignment with a symbolism of intimacy and love that has been imprinted in my mind through my mind and society – thus I commit myself to no longer define intimacy as purely creating positive experiences with others such as sex or other things that stimulate happy thoughts/feelings, as this can be tricky as it is only giving the mind energy and an experience of happiness but is not necessarily real, as countless relationship experiences have shown me that started out positive this way but ended up negative because once the energy ran out and we were no longer able to stimulate each other through separation (as we had come to know each other better and begin to see that in fact we are not so different and that real ‘love’ is not so elusive and thus exciting) then all of a sudden intimacy and love ceased to exist – thus when and as I see myself desiring to create a positive experience with my partner in some way where we can connect and be stimulated together sufficiently – I stop and breathe, as I see, realize and understand that this desire only exists in the pursuit of keeping a relationship alive that is based in separation – and thus I do not participate in this desire of the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, but rather commit myself to remain here as breath and act in self honesty as breath in the physical, without fear of loss as the desire for a relationship directing me