There is no 'problem' as such in getting excited about the future, but it is a bit like playing a broken record. We're always getting excited about the future. We're always looking for that quick fix to make us happy. I'm writing this on a Saturday night (I have lots of work to do) and I'm already thinking about my parents coming over to my house tomorrow.
Just think about all the quick-fixes for happiness or entertainment we have in our lives that we wait for. This is just a short list but there are many more things that we commonly look forward to:
Sex / Porn
Holidays
Meeting Friends
Fridays
Weddings
Births
There is nothing wrong with any of these, and nothing wrong with the nature of looking forward to things. I'm sure you all agree that it's nice to know enjoyable events are coming up in our schedule. The thing is, once this event we've been looking forward to is upon us, we're already on the lookout for the next one; the next high.
Once the baby is born, we look forward to the Christening or Birthdays
Once it's Friday we can't wait until Saturday to hit the beach
If you look closely at your current life situation, you'll probably be able to relate to the points above. If you're 'lucky,' it's also likely that you have some awesome event that just can't come soon enough. Chances are though – just like the examples above – once it has arrived, your attention won't be there to enjoy it.
I don't think anybody could say this better than Zen Buddhist, Thich Nhat Hanh:
In the United States, I have a close friend named Jim Forest. When I first met him eight years ago, he was working with the Catholic Peace Fellowship. Last winter, Jim came to visit. I usually wash the dishes after we've finished the evening meal, before sitting down and drinking tea with everyone else. One night, Jim asked if he might do the dishes. I said, “Go ahead, but if you wash the dishes you must know the way to wash them.” Jim replied, “Come on, you think I don't know how to wash the dishes?” I answered, “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes to wash the dishes.” Jim was delighted and said, “I choose the second way–to wash the dishes to wash the dishes.” From then on, Jim knew how to wash the dishes. I transferred the “responsibility” to him for an entire week.
If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.” What's more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact, we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can't wash the dishes, the chances are we won't be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
LOVE/DATING: RELATIONSHIP JUST DON'T HAPPEN
So many people assume that their relationships just happen to them, with little understanding that it will in fact unfold in direct reflection of their own thoughts and feelings about themselves. You see, we all take a certain amount of ‘baggage’ into our relationships with us in the form of conditioning from our past which creates our beliefs and sense of self-worth if we allow it to. Most of us are blissfully unaware of what these patterns of behaviour are, but they will all be subtly reflected in our behaviour towards our partner.
There are two facts which will help you understand how your relationships unfold; the first is that no one can love you more than you love yourself; the second is that you teach others how to treat you.
Loving Yourself and Putting Yourself First
Many of us continually put our own needs behind those of our partner, whilst secretly harbouring resentment about doing so. This in fact teaches our partner that we do not value ourselves, yet we are so surprised when they begin treating us in the same way. When we learn to love ourselves and fulfil our own needs, then we have an abundance to give and share with others. Remember too, that your partner will always be able to sense and feel your underlying energy or ‘state’, whether you have a smile on your face or not… What lies beneath your surface will show itself in seemingly subtle, yet powerful ways…
It’s vitally important for you to be aware of who you’re taking into the relationship with you. By this, I mean you… Understanding and loving yourself fully is the biggest gift you can give to yourself, to your partner and to your relationship. When you love yourself you take no neediness into the relationship with you. If instead, you make your partner responsible for creating your happiness and fulfilling your needs, a huge burden is placed upon them. Not only that, but you will always be in fear of what may happen if at any time they don’t fulfil those needs. It puts a great strain on both of you… When two partners behave like this it is known as a co-dependency.
Loving yourself brings many wonderful virtues into the partnership with you… Firstly, you enter into the relationship as your true self, without putting on any kind of act or mask to try and be what you think your partner expects you to be. You wouldn’t even entertain being anyone other than your true self, because you’d know without doubt that you are worth loving for who you are. You would also know that being single is far better than being in a fake relationship simply for the sake of it. When we put on this kind of mask, not only is it exhausting to keep up the act, but it builds a great deal of resentment beneath the surface because we feel we can never really be ourselves… ironically! Yet, so many of us do this sub-consciously. You will never feel truly loved for who you are when you’re not being yourself. Many enter into a game of ‘fake love’ by doing and being things that will gain us love and appreciation… Life becomes a game of acting so that we don’t experience rejection or disapproval… How different life would be though, if we didn’t fear either of these things in the first place. Well, this is exactly the essence of why loving yourself is so vital.
It’s hugely important to real-ise, that when two people hide behind a mask, the masks will eventually fall away, revealing two complete strangers. Most people call that initial stage the ‘honeymoon phase’… and then wonder why things are never as exciting as they were in the beginning, or they wonder what they ever saw in their partner and the ideal of the relationship.
When you love yourself, you will be able to gift your partner with a huge amount of freedom. You come into the relationship from a place of unattachment. By this I mean unattached to any outcome – you do not place the burden of “I expect you to be with me for the rest of my life, whether you like it or not!” on your partner… get the picture? This is what attachment looks like… You will not be fearful of them leaving you if they choose to because you’ll know that no matter what happens; you’ll handle everything just perfectly. Such fears often destroy relationships with ‘bad’ energy.
By simply choosing to be together, rather than needing to be together, this allows you to place a huge amount of trust in your partner. By also trusting in yourself to deal with anything, it allows you to ‘give’ yourself to the relationship from a place of vulnerability. The strange thing is, that if your partner senses this kind of vulnerable energy in you and sees it reflected in your behaviour, they are not likely to want to leave you or give you any reason to mistrust them… it’s amazing how it all unfolds. On the other hand, when you attempt to trap your partner through your mistrust of them because you couldn’t handle it if they ever left you… and you continually question them and take away their freedom, they are far more likely to respond with exactly the behaviour you’re most fearful of… by leaving you and/or by ending up in the arms of another…
So are you beginning to understand how we create our relationships…?
Where Is Your Focus?
One of the most magical things about sharing yourself with another is that what you focus on in your partner is what will transpire. If you focus on all the good, you will see more of it. You partner will sense that you are seeing the best in them and their behaviour towards you will reflect that. If on the other hand, you’re focusing on everything your partner does wrong, or are expecting negative behaviour from them, they will also sense this and reflect it straight back to you with exactly what you’re expecting.
One of the most beautiful things you can gift your partner with is a list of all the wonderful things they do for you, letting them know just how much you appreciate them. This creates a beautiful loving bond between you both. Not only that, but it opens your heart to true love lets them know just how valid they are in your life. In doing so, please don’t demand that they reply with a counter-list, because this is not giving from a place of authenticity… this is giving in order to receive, which will also leave you in a fearful energy. So many of us tend to work on a hidden barter system when we give; a great example of this is to ask yourself how you felt the last time you sent your partner a loving text or e-mail and didn’t receive a reply? If you were disappointed by their lack of response, then was your gesture truly authentic, or simply because you needed to hear their reply? Giving with no expectation of how or if they should respond according to your rules is indeed a very loving thing to do.
Another biggie in terms of relationships is to learn never to make assumptions about anything…ever! When your partner says or does something, their patterns of behaviour and ‘model of the world’ won’t necessarily match yours. Whatever the assumption has been made about has been transferred from their beliefs and perception of the world into yours, which will of course be entirely different. But instead of always assuming the best, we tend to make negative assumptions about what’s just happened, then either don’t say a word and resent it, or launch into an argument.
The best way to make assumptions if you must make them and want a loving, committed relationship, is to always make the best possible ones about your partner’s behaviour and intentions. If he or she says something that has hurt you, express your feelings in a loving way immediately and without blame. Andy and I agreed from day one that if either of us said anything which hurt the other, we would say “Ouch” and explain what had hurt us. We were staggered by the number of times we found ourselves saying “Ouch” when in fact, the other meant something entirely different from the way it was perceived and most certainly not intended to hurt. You might be surprised to find that you make far more negative assumptions that you’d ever imagine… Be aware that if these build up without resolution, they will create a huge amount of tension, resentment and animosity between you…
We often feel infatuated during the early stages of a relationship. This is generally the case when we don’t love ourselves fully and feel that burst of love and appreciation from a new partner which takes our ‘love score’ up to a 10 out of 10. These are the times when we usually become the person we think they want us to be, purely to ensure that we keep receiving that burst of love. This is the mask I mentioned earlier, and it can become an addiction. This is also unfortunately very fearful behaviour, because if they don’t provide the love we need in order to feel great about ourselves, we tend to take an emotional dive into the depths of despair. If, on the other hand, you have genuine love for yourself to begin with, then rather than thinking “Thank goodness someone loves me”, you can remain more realistic and evaluate whether that person is indeed right for you. It may seem unromantic… how romantic is a 46% divorce rate, rises sharply second and third time around?
Most people don’t have a clue how differently men and women think, feel and communicate. Women tend to imagine that men think in a very similar way to them… a very mistaken assumption indeed. On the whole, men are more logical, whereas women are more emotional and much of their respective communication will stem from these two different viewpoints. Men focus on one thing at a time, while women can multi-task. While women need to talk to reduce stress, men will want to find a solution to your problems – this often drives women crazy. Simply telling a man that you want him to listen and not provide a solution will appeal to his logical mind and allow the woman to talk… something this simple is sure to reduce arguments and frustration.
Many women aren’t aware that men generally feel emasculated when their woman points out a solution, yet in today’s society, women have high powered jobs, are often the main bread-winner in the house and it can be difficult to know how to maintain the right balance. So you see, learning about the differences between men and women’s thinking, behaviour and methods of communication is a powerful key to learning how to create an ideal relationship…
Another wonderful recipe to creating a fantastic bond between you is to know and understand your and your partner’s ‘love languages’. People give and receive love in one or more of five main ways – words of affirmation, touch, quality time, acts of service and gifts. If you know what your love languages are, then communicate them clearly to your partner so they know what makes you feel loved… then leave space for them to fill that gap without placing demands on them to do so. It’s vital too, to learn what your partner’s languages of love are, so that you in turn can also fulfil their needs and create a beautiful relationship.
I truly believe that a soul-mate relationship is something that is created between two people who share a genuine love, respect and truth with each other. Two people who choose to be committed to being together in a loving, trusting and unattached way, and who implement the key points I’ve mentioned above, will learn to love, respect and admire their differences.
You can become each other’s greatest teacher simply by allowing your partner to be exactly who they are and learning from them, rather than demanding they change to fit in with your model of the world. When we try to fix or change our partner, they will never feel good about themselves in the relationship – how could they, when you keep reminding them how they need to be more like you, because who they are simply isn’t good enough for you…
In essence, real love is created when a relationship becomes stronger, deeper and more fulfilling through time… it doesn’t wear off or become less exciting than it was in the beginning… quite the opposite.
It’s certainly food for thought…
There are two facts which will help you understand how your relationships unfold; the first is that no one can love you more than you love yourself; the second is that you teach others how to treat you.
Loving Yourself and Putting Yourself First
Many of us continually put our own needs behind those of our partner, whilst secretly harbouring resentment about doing so. This in fact teaches our partner that we do not value ourselves, yet we are so surprised when they begin treating us in the same way. When we learn to love ourselves and fulfil our own needs, then we have an abundance to give and share with others. Remember too, that your partner will always be able to sense and feel your underlying energy or ‘state’, whether you have a smile on your face or not… What lies beneath your surface will show itself in seemingly subtle, yet powerful ways…
It’s vitally important for you to be aware of who you’re taking into the relationship with you. By this, I mean you… Understanding and loving yourself fully is the biggest gift you can give to yourself, to your partner and to your relationship. When you love yourself you take no neediness into the relationship with you. If instead, you make your partner responsible for creating your happiness and fulfilling your needs, a huge burden is placed upon them. Not only that, but you will always be in fear of what may happen if at any time they don’t fulfil those needs. It puts a great strain on both of you… When two partners behave like this it is known as a co-dependency.
Loving yourself brings many wonderful virtues into the partnership with you… Firstly, you enter into the relationship as your true self, without putting on any kind of act or mask to try and be what you think your partner expects you to be. You wouldn’t even entertain being anyone other than your true self, because you’d know without doubt that you are worth loving for who you are. You would also know that being single is far better than being in a fake relationship simply for the sake of it. When we put on this kind of mask, not only is it exhausting to keep up the act, but it builds a great deal of resentment beneath the surface because we feel we can never really be ourselves… ironically! Yet, so many of us do this sub-consciously. You will never feel truly loved for who you are when you’re not being yourself. Many enter into a game of ‘fake love’ by doing and being things that will gain us love and appreciation… Life becomes a game of acting so that we don’t experience rejection or disapproval… How different life would be though, if we didn’t fear either of these things in the first place. Well, this is exactly the essence of why loving yourself is so vital.
It’s hugely important to real-ise, that when two people hide behind a mask, the masks will eventually fall away, revealing two complete strangers. Most people call that initial stage the ‘honeymoon phase’… and then wonder why things are never as exciting as they were in the beginning, or they wonder what they ever saw in their partner and the ideal of the relationship.
When you love yourself, you will be able to gift your partner with a huge amount of freedom. You come into the relationship from a place of unattachment. By this I mean unattached to any outcome – you do not place the burden of “I expect you to be with me for the rest of my life, whether you like it or not!” on your partner… get the picture? This is what attachment looks like… You will not be fearful of them leaving you if they choose to because you’ll know that no matter what happens; you’ll handle everything just perfectly. Such fears often destroy relationships with ‘bad’ energy.
By simply choosing to be together, rather than needing to be together, this allows you to place a huge amount of trust in your partner. By also trusting in yourself to deal with anything, it allows you to ‘give’ yourself to the relationship from a place of vulnerability. The strange thing is, that if your partner senses this kind of vulnerable energy in you and sees it reflected in your behaviour, they are not likely to want to leave you or give you any reason to mistrust them… it’s amazing how it all unfolds. On the other hand, when you attempt to trap your partner through your mistrust of them because you couldn’t handle it if they ever left you… and you continually question them and take away their freedom, they are far more likely to respond with exactly the behaviour you’re most fearful of… by leaving you and/or by ending up in the arms of another…
So are you beginning to understand how we create our relationships…?
Where Is Your Focus?
One of the most magical things about sharing yourself with another is that what you focus on in your partner is what will transpire. If you focus on all the good, you will see more of it. You partner will sense that you are seeing the best in them and their behaviour towards you will reflect that. If on the other hand, you’re focusing on everything your partner does wrong, or are expecting negative behaviour from them, they will also sense this and reflect it straight back to you with exactly what you’re expecting.
One of the most beautiful things you can gift your partner with is a list of all the wonderful things they do for you, letting them know just how much you appreciate them. This creates a beautiful loving bond between you both. Not only that, but it opens your heart to true love lets them know just how valid they are in your life. In doing so, please don’t demand that they reply with a counter-list, because this is not giving from a place of authenticity… this is giving in order to receive, which will also leave you in a fearful energy. So many of us tend to work on a hidden barter system when we give; a great example of this is to ask yourself how you felt the last time you sent your partner a loving text or e-mail and didn’t receive a reply? If you were disappointed by their lack of response, then was your gesture truly authentic, or simply because you needed to hear their reply? Giving with no expectation of how or if they should respond according to your rules is indeed a very loving thing to do.
Another biggie in terms of relationships is to learn never to make assumptions about anything…ever! When your partner says or does something, their patterns of behaviour and ‘model of the world’ won’t necessarily match yours. Whatever the assumption has been made about has been transferred from their beliefs and perception of the world into yours, which will of course be entirely different. But instead of always assuming the best, we tend to make negative assumptions about what’s just happened, then either don’t say a word and resent it, or launch into an argument.
The best way to make assumptions if you must make them and want a loving, committed relationship, is to always make the best possible ones about your partner’s behaviour and intentions. If he or she says something that has hurt you, express your feelings in a loving way immediately and without blame. Andy and I agreed from day one that if either of us said anything which hurt the other, we would say “Ouch” and explain what had hurt us. We were staggered by the number of times we found ourselves saying “Ouch” when in fact, the other meant something entirely different from the way it was perceived and most certainly not intended to hurt. You might be surprised to find that you make far more negative assumptions that you’d ever imagine… Be aware that if these build up without resolution, they will create a huge amount of tension, resentment and animosity between you…
We often feel infatuated during the early stages of a relationship. This is generally the case when we don’t love ourselves fully and feel that burst of love and appreciation from a new partner which takes our ‘love score’ up to a 10 out of 10. These are the times when we usually become the person we think they want us to be, purely to ensure that we keep receiving that burst of love. This is the mask I mentioned earlier, and it can become an addiction. This is also unfortunately very fearful behaviour, because if they don’t provide the love we need in order to feel great about ourselves, we tend to take an emotional dive into the depths of despair. If, on the other hand, you have genuine love for yourself to begin with, then rather than thinking “Thank goodness someone loves me”, you can remain more realistic and evaluate whether that person is indeed right for you. It may seem unromantic… how romantic is a 46% divorce rate, rises sharply second and third time around?
Most people don’t have a clue how differently men and women think, feel and communicate. Women tend to imagine that men think in a very similar way to them… a very mistaken assumption indeed. On the whole, men are more logical, whereas women are more emotional and much of their respective communication will stem from these two different viewpoints. Men focus on one thing at a time, while women can multi-task. While women need to talk to reduce stress, men will want to find a solution to your problems – this often drives women crazy. Simply telling a man that you want him to listen and not provide a solution will appeal to his logical mind and allow the woman to talk… something this simple is sure to reduce arguments and frustration.
Many women aren’t aware that men generally feel emasculated when their woman points out a solution, yet in today’s society, women have high powered jobs, are often the main bread-winner in the house and it can be difficult to know how to maintain the right balance. So you see, learning about the differences between men and women’s thinking, behaviour and methods of communication is a powerful key to learning how to create an ideal relationship…
Another wonderful recipe to creating a fantastic bond between you is to know and understand your and your partner’s ‘love languages’. People give and receive love in one or more of five main ways – words of affirmation, touch, quality time, acts of service and gifts. If you know what your love languages are, then communicate them clearly to your partner so they know what makes you feel loved… then leave space for them to fill that gap without placing demands on them to do so. It’s vital too, to learn what your partner’s languages of love are, so that you in turn can also fulfil their needs and create a beautiful relationship.
I truly believe that a soul-mate relationship is something that is created between two people who share a genuine love, respect and truth with each other. Two people who choose to be committed to being together in a loving, trusting and unattached way, and who implement the key points I’ve mentioned above, will learn to love, respect and admire their differences.
You can become each other’s greatest teacher simply by allowing your partner to be exactly who they are and learning from them, rather than demanding they change to fit in with your model of the world. When we try to fix or change our partner, they will never feel good about themselves in the relationship – how could they, when you keep reminding them how they need to be more like you, because who they are simply isn’t good enough for you…
In essence, real love is created when a relationship becomes stronger, deeper and more fulfilling through time… it doesn’t wear off or become less exciting than it was in the beginning… quite the opposite.
It’s certainly food for thought…
SPIRITUAL: OVERCOME SUFFERING
The stress and frustration you’re experiencing has nothing to do with what’s happening right now in this minute. Really, truly.
AND,
The stress you’re experiencing is nothing more than resistance to what is. That’s it. Yes, your resistance to what is is the sole cause of your discomfort, unhappiness, and flat-out stress.
Pretty interesting, right? Here’s what to do with this.
Your stress isn’t now. Let’s start with the fact that stress doesn’t exist in the present moment. Hold up, I sense your doubt but just hear me out. When you’re stressed and resisting your current situation, what’s the focus of your thoughts? I’ll guarantee it’s not focused on the right-here-now moment. The focus of your thoughts is in the projected and imaginary future state in which your current situation is the same, or worse. The focus of your thoughts is around an idea that this stress, pain, discomfort, and/or struggle will not end for a while and your stress is coming from the anticipation that the end in sight is maybe not that much in sight.
Check it out. Take any stressful situation you have going on — anything that is causing any amount of misery and ask yourself: “Where does the misery exist?”
Is it right here in this exact moment NOW as you’re reading this, or is it when you’re thinking about the imminent journey that this situation may travel, extending the misery and strife?
It’s anxiety from the imagined future state. It’s not right now.
Now get really present, shift your attention to your body and just drop your thoughts for a second. Look around you, what is real right now this very second? Nothing really stressful, right?
Ok, now even if you’re reading this from your phone while giving your kids a bath, both screaming and splashing, the smoke alarm is going off, the dog is barking, the doorbell is ringing with an urgent package that must be signed for, and your homemade soup is boiling over I’d STILL argue that any stress you’re feeling is not caused by the what-is-ness of right now, it’s the resistance to the what-is-ness AND the idea that it’s not over. (Meaning, it’s in your imagined future state.)
Here are 3 REAL ways to change your frame and remove the stress you’re feeling from your current situation:
-Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Miserable? Simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is. Many times this simple acknowledgement will transform your resistance into acceptance. But let’s be clear — I’m not talking about resignation where you’re not going to do anything about your situation. By acknowledging your resistance to what is you can shift from reaction to response (see a recent post for more on that). When you’re responsive you can act. When you’re responsive you are present and powerful. When you’re responsive you’re not stressed.
(Practical example: next time you’re stuck behind a really slow driver and get angry, simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is and see what happens to your anger.)
-If this doesn’t do it for you, then acknowledge that your stress does not exist now. It’s in your imagined future. Don’t paint a miserable future, tell a different story and get present NOW. Forget the past, drop the future, and simply be with what is right now. It is a moment. And every moment is manageable.
-Bonus step (and definitely my favorite if you want to do more than just find relief): Fast forward to the vision you’d like to be true whenever that future state for you is. Tomorrow? Two months? Three years? See the perfect scenario that would make you happy. Now tell the story backwards and explain to yourself how the current situation was absolutely necessary, absolutely on purpose, to get you to this vision.
Painting backwards is AWESOME because it doesn’t just remove the stress from the current circumstance (i.e. the imagined future state) but it puts the current situation in a light where you automatically shift into gratitude and purposefulness.
AND,
The stress you’re experiencing is nothing more than resistance to what is. That’s it. Yes, your resistance to what is is the sole cause of your discomfort, unhappiness, and flat-out stress.
Pretty interesting, right? Here’s what to do with this.
Your stress isn’t now. Let’s start with the fact that stress doesn’t exist in the present moment. Hold up, I sense your doubt but just hear me out. When you’re stressed and resisting your current situation, what’s the focus of your thoughts? I’ll guarantee it’s not focused on the right-here-now moment. The focus of your thoughts is in the projected and imaginary future state in which your current situation is the same, or worse. The focus of your thoughts is around an idea that this stress, pain, discomfort, and/or struggle will not end for a while and your stress is coming from the anticipation that the end in sight is maybe not that much in sight.
Check it out. Take any stressful situation you have going on — anything that is causing any amount of misery and ask yourself: “Where does the misery exist?”
Is it right here in this exact moment NOW as you’re reading this, or is it when you’re thinking about the imminent journey that this situation may travel, extending the misery and strife?
It’s anxiety from the imagined future state. It’s not right now.
Now get really present, shift your attention to your body and just drop your thoughts for a second. Look around you, what is real right now this very second? Nothing really stressful, right?
Ok, now even if you’re reading this from your phone while giving your kids a bath, both screaming and splashing, the smoke alarm is going off, the dog is barking, the doorbell is ringing with an urgent package that must be signed for, and your homemade soup is boiling over I’d STILL argue that any stress you’re feeling is not caused by the what-is-ness of right now, it’s the resistance to the what-is-ness AND the idea that it’s not over. (Meaning, it’s in your imagined future state.)
Here are 3 REAL ways to change your frame and remove the stress you’re feeling from your current situation:
-Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Miserable? Simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is. Many times this simple acknowledgement will transform your resistance into acceptance. But let’s be clear — I’m not talking about resignation where you’re not going to do anything about your situation. By acknowledging your resistance to what is you can shift from reaction to response (see a recent post for more on that). When you’re responsive you can act. When you’re responsive you are present and powerful. When you’re responsive you’re not stressed.
(Practical example: next time you’re stuck behind a really slow driver and get angry, simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is and see what happens to your anger.)
-If this doesn’t do it for you, then acknowledge that your stress does not exist now. It’s in your imagined future. Don’t paint a miserable future, tell a different story and get present NOW. Forget the past, drop the future, and simply be with what is right now. It is a moment. And every moment is manageable.
-Bonus step (and definitely my favorite if you want to do more than just find relief): Fast forward to the vision you’d like to be true whenever that future state for you is. Tomorrow? Two months? Three years? See the perfect scenario that would make you happy. Now tell the story backwards and explain to yourself how the current situation was absolutely necessary, absolutely on purpose, to get you to this vision.
Painting backwards is AWESOME because it doesn’t just remove the stress from the current circumstance (i.e. the imagined future state) but it puts the current situation in a light where you automatically shift into gratitude and purposefulness.
ARTICLE: One Chart That Shows Just How Screwed Up Our Tax System Really Is
REVIEW: MOONSTRUCK...SNAP OUT OF IT
It seems like yesterday I went to the movies to see Moonstruck: It was in college and one of the most beautiful woman I ever seen asked me out to see it..in the dorm.
Even at age, I could see and feel the love and romance in practically every scene. I remember watching in awe as Cher transformed from the frumpy Loretta to the sexy woman she didn’t even know existed inside her. I savored every line and every scene.
And there are so many great romantic scenes in this movie. I could have picked the scene where she meets Ronny in the basement of the bakery. Where she is supposed to ask him to come to her wedding to his brother, Johnny, and put their feud to rest. The sullen, lust-filled stares between them held nothing to the flames from the oven blaring behind Ronny.
Mamma Mia!
Ronny agrees to talk to Loretta in his apartment upstairs. After a passion-filled chat about life and love, Ronny throws the kitchen table, sweeps Loretta off her feet, and repeats he is taking her “to the bed.” After they, um, indeed go to the bed, Loretta hides in the closet and they banter back and forth.
Ronny: You’re trying to make me feel guilty.
Loretta: I’m marrying your brother!
Ronny: All right, I’m guilty. I confess!
Loretta: You’re invited to the wedding! It’s in a few weeks. Why didn’t you do like him and be with your dying mother in Palermo?
Ronny: She didn’t like me.
Loretta: You don’t get along with anybody!
Ronny: What did you do?
Loretta: What did I do?
Ronny: You ruined my life.
Loretta: That’s impossible! It was ruined when I got here! You ruined my life!
Ronny: Oh no I didn’t!
Loretta emerges from the closet, tucking in her blouse.
Loretta: Oh yes, oh yes you did! You’ve got those bad eyes like a gypsy! Why didn’t I see it yesterday! Bad Luck! Is that all I’m ever gonna have? Why didn’t I just pick up a stone and kill myself years and years ago? I’m gonna marry him!
Ronny: What?
Loretta: Last night never happened, you hear me? I’m gonna marry him anyway and last night never happened, and you and I are gonna take this to our coffins!
Ronny: I can’t do that!
Loretta: Why not?
Ronny: I’m in love with you!
Loretta stares at him in alarm, slaps his face, then studies his face to see the effect of the slap. She is dissatisfied and slaps him again.
Loretta: Snap out of it!
Ronny: I can’t!
Loretta: All right. Then I must never see you again. The bad blood will have to stay there between you and Johnny for all time. You won’t come to the wedding.
Ronny: I’ll come to the wedding.
Loretta: I’m telling you, you can’t.
Ronny: But he wants me to come!
Loretta: But that’s ’cause he don’t know!
Ronny: All right. I will not come. Provided one thing.
Loretta: What?
Ronny: That you come with me tonight. Once. To the Opera.
Loretta: What are you talking about?
Ronny: I love two things. I love you, and I love the Opera. If I can have the two things that I love together for one night, I will be satisfied to give up the rest of my life.
Loretta: Alright.
Ronny: All right. Meet me at the Met.
Super duper knee jerking sigh!
But this is not the most romantic scene for me. It’s the end scene that gives me goose bumps. It isn’t the dialogue, but how Ronny and Loretta cannot take their eyes off of each other. It’s how Loretta’s mother, Rose, played by the feisty Olympia Dukakis, worries at how much her daughter is in love, and that it may ruin her. Remember her banging the table screaming: “Ya gotta love bite on your neck, your life’s goin’ down the toilet!”
A few moments later Johnny, the fiancé, arrives and her whole family is there and so is Ronny.
Loretta: Johnny, I have something to tell you.
Johnny: I have something to tell you. But I must talk to you alone.
Loretta: I have no secrets from my family.
Johnny: Loretta, I can’t marry you.
Loretta: What?
Johnny: If I marry you my mother will die.
The Old Man laughs a loud sudden laugh, and then subsides.
Loretta: What the hell are you talking about? We’re engaged.
Ronny: Loretta, what are you talking about?
Loretta: I’m talking about a promise. You proposed to me!
Johnny: Because my mother was dying! But now she’s not.
Ronny: You’re forty-two years old, Johnny, and Mama is still running your life.
Johnny: And you are a son who doesn’t love his mother!
Loretta: And you’re a big liar! I’ve got your ring here!
Johnny: I must ask for that back.
Loretta struggles and pulls off the ring.
Loretta: Here! Take your stupid pinky ring. (She throws it at Johnny) Who needs it? The engagement’s off.
Johnny retrieves the ring.
Johnny: In time, you will see that this is the best thing.
Loretta: In time, you will drop dead, and I will come to your funeral in a red dress.
Ronny: Loretta?
Loretta: What!
Ronny: Will you marry me?
Johnny: What?
Loretta: Where’s the ring?
Ronny looks to Johnny a little sheepishly.
Ronny: Could I ah…borrow that ring?
Johnny, in shock, hands it over to Ronny.
Ronny: Thanks.
He kneels down before Loretta. He presents the ring to her.
Ronny: Will you marry me, Loretta Castorini Clark?
Loretta: Before all these people, yes, I will marry you, Ronny Cammareri!
She takes the ring. Ronny and Loretta kiss.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta: Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh God, that’s too bad.
Sigh! The comedy, the confusion as all the story lines coming together, the love… this scene is my favorite. It makes you laugh, tear up, and it leaves you wishing you came from a quirky Italian family from Brooklyn.
I left the movie theater that night, desperately looking for a can to kick, like Cher. There wasn’t one so I pretended and twirled around the parking lot, wondering what my future love life would be and would I love someone “awful.” All these years later, I do. Sigh.
Even at age, I could see and feel the love and romance in practically every scene. I remember watching in awe as Cher transformed from the frumpy Loretta to the sexy woman she didn’t even know existed inside her. I savored every line and every scene.
And there are so many great romantic scenes in this movie. I could have picked the scene where she meets Ronny in the basement of the bakery. Where she is supposed to ask him to come to her wedding to his brother, Johnny, and put their feud to rest. The sullen, lust-filled stares between them held nothing to the flames from the oven blaring behind Ronny.
Mamma Mia!
Ronny agrees to talk to Loretta in his apartment upstairs. After a passion-filled chat about life and love, Ronny throws the kitchen table, sweeps Loretta off her feet, and repeats he is taking her “to the bed.” After they, um, indeed go to the bed, Loretta hides in the closet and they banter back and forth.
Ronny: You’re trying to make me feel guilty.
Loretta: I’m marrying your brother!
Ronny: All right, I’m guilty. I confess!
Loretta: You’re invited to the wedding! It’s in a few weeks. Why didn’t you do like him and be with your dying mother in Palermo?
Ronny: She didn’t like me.
Loretta: You don’t get along with anybody!
Ronny: What did you do?
Loretta: What did I do?
Ronny: You ruined my life.
Loretta: That’s impossible! It was ruined when I got here! You ruined my life!
Ronny: Oh no I didn’t!
Loretta emerges from the closet, tucking in her blouse.
Loretta: Oh yes, oh yes you did! You’ve got those bad eyes like a gypsy! Why didn’t I see it yesterday! Bad Luck! Is that all I’m ever gonna have? Why didn’t I just pick up a stone and kill myself years and years ago? I’m gonna marry him!
Ronny: What?
Loretta: Last night never happened, you hear me? I’m gonna marry him anyway and last night never happened, and you and I are gonna take this to our coffins!
Ronny: I can’t do that!
Loretta: Why not?
Ronny: I’m in love with you!
Loretta stares at him in alarm, slaps his face, then studies his face to see the effect of the slap. She is dissatisfied and slaps him again.
Loretta: Snap out of it!
Ronny: I can’t!
Loretta: All right. Then I must never see you again. The bad blood will have to stay there between you and Johnny for all time. You won’t come to the wedding.
Ronny: I’ll come to the wedding.
Loretta: I’m telling you, you can’t.
Ronny: But he wants me to come!
Loretta: But that’s ’cause he don’t know!
Ronny: All right. I will not come. Provided one thing.
Loretta: What?
Ronny: That you come with me tonight. Once. To the Opera.
Loretta: What are you talking about?
Ronny: I love two things. I love you, and I love the Opera. If I can have the two things that I love together for one night, I will be satisfied to give up the rest of my life.
Loretta: Alright.
Ronny: All right. Meet me at the Met.
Super duper knee jerking sigh!
But this is not the most romantic scene for me. It’s the end scene that gives me goose bumps. It isn’t the dialogue, but how Ronny and Loretta cannot take their eyes off of each other. It’s how Loretta’s mother, Rose, played by the feisty Olympia Dukakis, worries at how much her daughter is in love, and that it may ruin her. Remember her banging the table screaming: “Ya gotta love bite on your neck, your life’s goin’ down the toilet!”
A few moments later Johnny, the fiancé, arrives and her whole family is there and so is Ronny.
Loretta: Johnny, I have something to tell you.
Johnny: I have something to tell you. But I must talk to you alone.
Loretta: I have no secrets from my family.
Johnny: Loretta, I can’t marry you.
Loretta: What?
Johnny: If I marry you my mother will die.
The Old Man laughs a loud sudden laugh, and then subsides.
Loretta: What the hell are you talking about? We’re engaged.
Ronny: Loretta, what are you talking about?
Loretta: I’m talking about a promise. You proposed to me!
Johnny: Because my mother was dying! But now she’s not.
Ronny: You’re forty-two years old, Johnny, and Mama is still running your life.
Johnny: And you are a son who doesn’t love his mother!
Loretta: And you’re a big liar! I’ve got your ring here!
Johnny: I must ask for that back.
Loretta struggles and pulls off the ring.
Loretta: Here! Take your stupid pinky ring. (She throws it at Johnny) Who needs it? The engagement’s off.
Johnny retrieves the ring.
Johnny: In time, you will see that this is the best thing.
Loretta: In time, you will drop dead, and I will come to your funeral in a red dress.
Ronny: Loretta?
Loretta: What!
Ronny: Will you marry me?
Johnny: What?
Loretta: Where’s the ring?
Ronny looks to Johnny a little sheepishly.
Ronny: Could I ah…borrow that ring?
Johnny, in shock, hands it over to Ronny.
Ronny: Thanks.
He kneels down before Loretta. He presents the ring to her.
Ronny: Will you marry me, Loretta Castorini Clark?
Loretta: Before all these people, yes, I will marry you, Ronny Cammareri!
She takes the ring. Ronny and Loretta kiss.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta: Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh God, that’s too bad.
Sigh! The comedy, the confusion as all the story lines coming together, the love… this scene is my favorite. It makes you laugh, tear up, and it leaves you wishing you came from a quirky Italian family from Brooklyn.
I left the movie theater that night, desperately looking for a can to kick, like Cher. There wasn’t one so I pretended and twirled around the parking lot, wondering what my future love life would be and would I love someone “awful.” All these years later, I do. Sigh.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
ARTICLE: Geithner is trying to rewrite history in new book By John Crudel
What’s wrong with this picture?
Tim Geithner, the former US Treasury secretary and one-time head of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, wants to be seen as one of the guys who got the financial system out of trouble.
It wasn’t easy, he admits.
And it wasn’t always neat. In fact, you might even call it messy. And — oh, my! — Geithner suffered for his efforts. He’s still suffering today. And you’ll understand this more fully if you cough up $25 for his new book.
Tradition dictates that I give the book’s title and the publisher at this point. But I’m not going to. I don’t want to be responsible for even one extra copy of this book being sold.
So here’s what is wrong with the picture that Geithner is trying to sell: He doesn’t show his other face, the one that helped get America into all that trouble.
I have to admit that I haven’t read Geithner’s (Title Omitted), and I’m not planning to. It’s bad enough when people in public office try to rewrite history. But it is worse when they try to make money while torturing the public record.
New York has a Son of Sam Law that prevents criminals from benefiting financially from their misdeeds. Shouldn’t there be a moral code that restricts people — especially public officials like Geithner — from trying to benefit from their mistakes?
Even though I haven’t read (Title Omitted), Geithner was all over the place in the last few days giving interviews about his book and defending his record.
“People think we gave the banks this free gift of hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars, using the taxpayers’ money that we would never see again. People thought we would lose $2 trillion on our financial rescue,” Geithner told a group of Harvard students.
The quote was picked up in a cover story in the Sunday New York Times magazine that has a photo of the “naturally boyish” Geithner on the cover. (Giggle, giggle.) “He looked hardly older than the teaching assistants in the front row,” cooed the Times.
Geithner’s point was that the US government made money on its deal with the banks — a couple hundred billion dollars. Wow! Why didn’t we give them more money?
But there’s something Geithner isn’t telling you. The risk-to-reward ratio of those bank deals was skewed tremendously to the risk side. And just to make sure the banks did okay, the Federal Reserve — through hook and quantitative easing — had to make sure interest rates remained infinitesimal.
In other words, the deal Geithner is now lauding required that interest rates remain unnaturally low for six years and counting. And those low rates cost American savers many, many times the amount of money the government made on its bank deals.
In short, American savers ended up subsidizing those bailouts through what was — and continues to be — a secret tax on their assets. Speak to that, Mr. Geithner and I’ll buy your lousy book!
But that’s not my only problem with Geithner, who concedes in the Times interview that even he felt ill-equipped for some of the jobs that were thrust upon him.
Geithner’s bio shows the progress of a guy who was in convenient jobs when big people — let’s call them Wall Streeters — needed a dupe.
He worked under five Treasury secretaries in all — both Democrats and Republicans. So Geithner was, in essence, an equal opportunity patsy.
In 2003, he became president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank. The president of that bank is a permanent voting member of the Fed’s Open Market Committee, which makes policy.
So Geithner is as guilty as anyone else — Fed chairmen Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke included — for keeping interest rates so low that a housing bubble developed when millions of unqualified buyers suddenly found their home loans approved.
Geithner wasn’t just cleaning up a mess after the financial crisis, he was cleaning up a mess that he helped make. It’s like BP wanting credit for getting all that goo out of the Gulf of Mexico after the spill.
You made the mess, now clean it up without bitching (or selling your story.)
The New York Fed is unique for another reason. It has the desk from which the Fed does all its trades. If the Fed wants to change the value of the US dollar compared with other currencies, the NY Fed does the job.
When Treasury wants to drain liquidity from the banking system, the NY Fed is on the case. Make liquidity more prevalent? You guess it, the NY Fed.
In other words, Geithner’s operation had to work very closely with Wall Street firms that were also trading. So it’s no wonder that Geithner once declared to Congress that he’d never been a regulator “for better or worse.”
Well, the NY Fed’s other job was to keep an eye on banks — to regulate them. That Geithner didn’t know this is even scarier than the fact that he got caught filing false tax returns and still eventually got the job as Treasury secretary.
All that trading experience came in handywhen Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and his pals on Wall Street needed to rig the stock market in 2007-08. Geithner at the time was still heading the NY Fed and a year from taking over for Paulson.
In one five-hour period that started before the market opened on Sept. 18, 2008, for instance, Geithner either called or was called by Paulson six times. During the same time period, Paulson was also speed-dialing the heads of a number of well-connected Wall Street firms.
Geithner once admitted that during the financial crisis that Washington “was forced to do extraordinary things and, frankly, offensive things to help save the economy.”
I’ll give Geithner 25 bucks if he’ll spill on the “offensive things.” But I still won’t buy his book.
Tim Geithner, the former US Treasury secretary and one-time head of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, wants to be seen as one of the guys who got the financial system out of trouble.
It wasn’t easy, he admits.
And it wasn’t always neat. In fact, you might even call it messy. And — oh, my! — Geithner suffered for his efforts. He’s still suffering today. And you’ll understand this more fully if you cough up $25 for his new book.
Tradition dictates that I give the book’s title and the publisher at this point. But I’m not going to. I don’t want to be responsible for even one extra copy of this book being sold.
So here’s what is wrong with the picture that Geithner is trying to sell: He doesn’t show his other face, the one that helped get America into all that trouble.
I have to admit that I haven’t read Geithner’s (Title Omitted), and I’m not planning to. It’s bad enough when people in public office try to rewrite history. But it is worse when they try to make money while torturing the public record.
New York has a Son of Sam Law that prevents criminals from benefiting financially from their misdeeds. Shouldn’t there be a moral code that restricts people — especially public officials like Geithner — from trying to benefit from their mistakes?
Even though I haven’t read (Title Omitted), Geithner was all over the place in the last few days giving interviews about his book and defending his record.
“People think we gave the banks this free gift of hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars, using the taxpayers’ money that we would never see again. People thought we would lose $2 trillion on our financial rescue,” Geithner told a group of Harvard students.
The quote was picked up in a cover story in the Sunday New York Times magazine that has a photo of the “naturally boyish” Geithner on the cover. (Giggle, giggle.) “He looked hardly older than the teaching assistants in the front row,” cooed the Times.
Geithner’s point was that the US government made money on its deal with the banks — a couple hundred billion dollars. Wow! Why didn’t we give them more money?
But there’s something Geithner isn’t telling you. The risk-to-reward ratio of those bank deals was skewed tremendously to the risk side. And just to make sure the banks did okay, the Federal Reserve — through hook and quantitative easing — had to make sure interest rates remained infinitesimal.
In other words, the deal Geithner is now lauding required that interest rates remain unnaturally low for six years and counting. And those low rates cost American savers many, many times the amount of money the government made on its bank deals.
In short, American savers ended up subsidizing those bailouts through what was — and continues to be — a secret tax on their assets. Speak to that, Mr. Geithner and I’ll buy your lousy book!
But that’s not my only problem with Geithner, who concedes in the Times interview that even he felt ill-equipped for some of the jobs that were thrust upon him.
Geithner’s bio shows the progress of a guy who was in convenient jobs when big people — let’s call them Wall Streeters — needed a dupe.
He worked under five Treasury secretaries in all — both Democrats and Republicans. So Geithner was, in essence, an equal opportunity patsy.
In 2003, he became president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank. The president of that bank is a permanent voting member of the Fed’s Open Market Committee, which makes policy.
So Geithner is as guilty as anyone else — Fed chairmen Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke included — for keeping interest rates so low that a housing bubble developed when millions of unqualified buyers suddenly found their home loans approved.
Geithner wasn’t just cleaning up a mess after the financial crisis, he was cleaning up a mess that he helped make. It’s like BP wanting credit for getting all that goo out of the Gulf of Mexico after the spill.
You made the mess, now clean it up without bitching (or selling your story.)
The New York Fed is unique for another reason. It has the desk from which the Fed does all its trades. If the Fed wants to change the value of the US dollar compared with other currencies, the NY Fed does the job.
When Treasury wants to drain liquidity from the banking system, the NY Fed is on the case. Make liquidity more prevalent? You guess it, the NY Fed.
In other words, Geithner’s operation had to work very closely with Wall Street firms that were also trading. So it’s no wonder that Geithner once declared to Congress that he’d never been a regulator “for better or worse.”
Well, the NY Fed’s other job was to keep an eye on banks — to regulate them. That Geithner didn’t know this is even scarier than the fact that he got caught filing false tax returns and still eventually got the job as Treasury secretary.
All that trading experience came in handywhen Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and his pals on Wall Street needed to rig the stock market in 2007-08. Geithner at the time was still heading the NY Fed and a year from taking over for Paulson.
In one five-hour period that started before the market opened on Sept. 18, 2008, for instance, Geithner either called or was called by Paulson six times. During the same time period, Paulson was also speed-dialing the heads of a number of well-connected Wall Street firms.
Geithner once admitted that during the financial crisis that Washington “was forced to do extraordinary things and, frankly, offensive things to help save the economy.”
I’ll give Geithner 25 bucks if he’ll spill on the “offensive things.” But I still won’t buy his book.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
FROM A FAN
I think your absolute best quality more than anything else, something that sets you apart, something that might not be so apparent to those that don't really matter anyway. But a truly very attractive and addictive even to those that pick up on it, for those that see your eyes and find something they haven't seen in a longtime. Coming from a similar childlike mind, I saw it. I have a similar innocence. But yours is different. One look in yours eyes and you can see you are a dreamer.
You dream of beauty, fairytales, castles, your favorite movies, love, babies. And you believe it. You dream of these happy endings regardless of if life has shown you otherwise. You dream of love and have hope. You don't seem to realize your dreams are necessary for the rest to have hope in this happily ever after also. Without people that dream of something better the world would surely drown in its own gloom. There are others that are dreamers as well. They have made us masterpieces that have endured centuries, they are artists of words, clay, paint, theatrics, and music. But they usually live in this realm. They give us so much to admire, but they are only dreamers. Not like you. You are different, you are more unique. What you have, who you are is an incredible duality. Because you live in reality as well. You are the perfect blend of an idealist and a realist at the same time. You may dream but you don't get lost in it. You might reality might seem grim, but you don't stay there either. You Handle your business and then go right back to dreaming. I am a dreamer, but I can get lost in fantasyland, so better not do that. Others work hard their reality is all about work, responsibility, but their imaginations, hope, and hearts are a little dry.
You are spectacular because you are very smart. You are savvy with numbers, well read, knowledgeable on many varied topics. But what you do with your intelligence is even better. You do not flaunt it, you use it. You Use your intelligence correctly because you have a lot of common sense. You prioritize correctly. Everyone could really learn something from you on that precise topic priorities. You did the right things. You listened to your parents, which was smart. You Are also really good listener, you listen to others story with compassion. You know how to handle business, and you do just that. But you keep it there.
Once outside the realm of reality you switch back into the little boy dreamer who is really just looking for his little special friend. Yeah you talk alot of crap about needing good sex, for someone be submissive to you, all these things. And that is what they are things. You want these things because of hurt you've had. You want submissive woman because of your emotional baggage. You think you need these things, like really really need them. But all you really truly desire is a loyal best friend who can live in your innocent little boy dreams. If you found that sweet woman who is really like you and little dreamer girl inside, these other things will never be an issue, sex and power they are adult things, children don't love like that. They love by sharing their toys, talking about old tv shows, finding simply things in life that make them happy. Children are happy and love with sandwiches in a tent in the backyard, flashlights and popcorn during scary movie, dancing naked in the shower, dreaming of castles and clouds while holding a paint brush.
you are so special because you can accomplish what so many of us wish we could you handle your business like a man with prioritizing adult things like family, finances, health, security... But you love like a child. You are that perfect example of becoming what you imagine yourself to be. That dreaming is important, but so is either leaving it for the dreams or working and achieving your goals. One look in your eyes and you are reminded of childhood innocence, of love, of no worries, of hope and fairytales.One word from your mouth and you are reminded of what you have to do as an adult, what to prioritize, how to be responsible, how to not have drama. From a strangers point of view I would imagine you as being quite fascinating. These dual nature's you have are quite rare.
From a loved ones point of view you must be so special, a true friend, a good brother, son... and one day husband and father. It might be hard for some to see past some thorns you got. But if they did, they would see that special light in you, who would not want to ride thru this journey called life with someone who not only is a reliable partner. But who make you smile and giggle like a five year old little girl.
You dream of beauty, fairytales, castles, your favorite movies, love, babies. And you believe it. You dream of these happy endings regardless of if life has shown you otherwise. You dream of love and have hope. You don't seem to realize your dreams are necessary for the rest to have hope in this happily ever after also. Without people that dream of something better the world would surely drown in its own gloom. There are others that are dreamers as well. They have made us masterpieces that have endured centuries, they are artists of words, clay, paint, theatrics, and music. But they usually live in this realm. They give us so much to admire, but they are only dreamers. Not like you. You are different, you are more unique. What you have, who you are is an incredible duality. Because you live in reality as well. You are the perfect blend of an idealist and a realist at the same time. You may dream but you don't get lost in it. You might reality might seem grim, but you don't stay there either. You Handle your business and then go right back to dreaming. I am a dreamer, but I can get lost in fantasyland, so better not do that. Others work hard their reality is all about work, responsibility, but their imaginations, hope, and hearts are a little dry.
You are spectacular because you are very smart. You are savvy with numbers, well read, knowledgeable on many varied topics. But what you do with your intelligence is even better. You do not flaunt it, you use it. You Use your intelligence correctly because you have a lot of common sense. You prioritize correctly. Everyone could really learn something from you on that precise topic priorities. You did the right things. You listened to your parents, which was smart. You Are also really good listener, you listen to others story with compassion. You know how to handle business, and you do just that. But you keep it there.
Once outside the realm of reality you switch back into the little boy dreamer who is really just looking for his little special friend. Yeah you talk alot of crap about needing good sex, for someone be submissive to you, all these things. And that is what they are things. You want these things because of hurt you've had. You want submissive woman because of your emotional baggage. You think you need these things, like really really need them. But all you really truly desire is a loyal best friend who can live in your innocent little boy dreams. If you found that sweet woman who is really like you and little dreamer girl inside, these other things will never be an issue, sex and power they are adult things, children don't love like that. They love by sharing their toys, talking about old tv shows, finding simply things in life that make them happy. Children are happy and love with sandwiches in a tent in the backyard, flashlights and popcorn during scary movie, dancing naked in the shower, dreaming of castles and clouds while holding a paint brush.
you are so special because you can accomplish what so many of us wish we could you handle your business like a man with prioritizing adult things like family, finances, health, security... But you love like a child. You are that perfect example of becoming what you imagine yourself to be. That dreaming is important, but so is either leaving it for the dreams or working and achieving your goals. One look in your eyes and you are reminded of childhood innocence, of love, of no worries, of hope and fairytales.One word from your mouth and you are reminded of what you have to do as an adult, what to prioritize, how to be responsible, how to not have drama. From a strangers point of view I would imagine you as being quite fascinating. These dual nature's you have are quite rare.
From a loved ones point of view you must be so special, a true friend, a good brother, son... and one day husband and father. It might be hard for some to see past some thorns you got. But if they did, they would see that special light in you, who would not want to ride thru this journey called life with someone who not only is a reliable partner. But who make you smile and giggle like a five year old little girl.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
PERSONAL: YOU'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE
You're out there somewhere,And I feel you.Even though...I don't know who you are,I, just, know you're there.I miss you,Even though...We have not met or loved,Other than in my imagination.I, just, know you're there.I love you,Even though...My heart cannot touch you,The way I want to.To feel the love between us.Someday... it will happen because,I, just, know you're there.
Every night I close my eyes and drift into a deep sleep,and as the dream starts I feel it becoming more real.Every time I have it,my dream is of you...Of the true love, I have for you.My dream is of being able to be there;of being able to look into your eyes and see the stars from above... in them.Run my fingers through your silk-like hair; reflecting the sun at day and at night... Reflecting the moon onto your face,making you more pretty than you already are. Holding you close to me,feeling your heart beat against mine.One together... forever and always;our bond of true love can pull us through anything...I wanna spend my life with you;no other do I want or ever will want.You're the only one for me;God brought us together and so did our Guardian Angels...Nothing could ever take me from you;I love you truly... madly... and deeply from my heart and my soul...So take my hand and let's go onin our dreams, now turned to reality.For we have less and less time;'till we can finally hold each other
Every night I close my eyes and drift into a deep sleep,and as the dream starts I feel it becoming more real.Every time I have it,my dream is of you...Of the true love, I have for you.My dream is of being able to be there;of being able to look into your eyes and see the stars from above... in them.Run my fingers through your silk-like hair; reflecting the sun at day and at night... Reflecting the moon onto your face,making you more pretty than you already are. Holding you close to me,feeling your heart beat against mine.One together... forever and always;our bond of true love can pull us through anything...I wanna spend my life with you;no other do I want or ever will want.You're the only one for me;God brought us together and so did our Guardian Angels...Nothing could ever take me from you;I love you truly... madly... and deeply from my heart and my soul...So take my hand and let's go onin our dreams, now turned to reality.For we have less and less time;'till we can finally hold each other
PERSONAL: YOU FOUND ME
I can’t believe you found me when no one else was looking. How did you know just where I would be? I guess that you saw what nobody could see.. You found me. You found me. Before you came along...i was scared. Will I ever find love? Will love ever find ME? The thought of it crosses my mind often. I love myself, I think I’m handsome. People always say that people need confidence, I have it. I have it all. What if no one else see the beauty within me, that I do? What if no one finds me attractive like I find myself attractive? I hope someone will come along and find the beauty that I find within myself. and you did. I love that you understand that you don’t just automatically love someone. You slowly learn how to trust them, how to start believing in them. You want to be with them to the point where you’re jealous of anyone else who gets a little of their time. It gets you mad, but you learn to get past it, because you can’t be jealous forever. And then you realize, you don’t even feel jealousy anymore because you have this unwavering confidence that this person will never leave you, never betray you and would never pick someone else over you. They make you feel irreplaceable. That’s when it hits you. You really do love each other and it’s completely unbreakable.. I also have to tell you more.... sometimes I feel like there’s a hole inside me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night wanting. But still, sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen.
I want to be indispensable. I want to be someone’s all, I want to be the reason why somebody smiles first thing in the morning. Because it feels like I’m always the one making people indispensable to me. I am always making someone my all, I’m always smiling when I wake up because of that someone. For once I want the chance to have someone care for me the way I care too much about everyone else..Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing, love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or a visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens and it’s so incredibly messy.
When it comes to relationships people are always so scared of the what-if’s that they forget the what-is. They spend so much time thinking, ‘What if I get hurt?’ and ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ that they stop thinking about that things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room and the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings because it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what-if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love…because “what if” this is the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with?
Love at first click? I absolutely believe in it. You’ve got to keep the faith. Who doesn’t like the idea that you could see someone tomorrow and she could be the love of your life? It’s very romantic
I want to be indispensable. I want to be someone’s all, I want to be the reason why somebody smiles first thing in the morning. Because it feels like I’m always the one making people indispensable to me. I am always making someone my all, I’m always smiling when I wake up because of that someone. For once I want the chance to have someone care for me the way I care too much about everyone else..Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing, love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or a visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens and it’s so incredibly messy.
When it comes to relationships people are always so scared of the what-if’s that they forget the what-is. They spend so much time thinking, ‘What if I get hurt?’ and ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ that they stop thinking about that things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room and the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings because it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what-if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love…because “what if” this is the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with?
Love at first click? I absolutely believe in it. You’ve got to keep the faith. Who doesn’t like the idea that you could see someone tomorrow and she could be the love of your life? It’s very romantic
LOVE LETTER:MY DEAREST LOVE
My Dearest Love...
You're so beautiful to me; You're my sweet dreams of Heaven and Earth.I imagine you've been a treasure to many since the day of your birth.You bring me overwhelming joy, Though we've just begun. When morning has broken, darling, You're my temperate sun.You're the warm glow of iridescent candle light, My twilight and my starry sky. You make my eye's leak crystal tears, For the first time, through a blissful cry.The foremost moment I saw your precious face, You changed the vision of my world And made it a more beautiful place.You've fulfilled my all dreams; You blew me soft baby kisses, Which sweetened my air And fulfilled my warmest wishes.I remember the first gentle touch of your hand, Our first kiss, our first loving embrace,Like a sweet caress as you slowly kissed my lips,Then softly my face.With the just slightest touch of you're lip's on mine,You brought me the most jovial sentiment. You're refreshing to me, like a fresh picked strawberry or the sweetest candy peppermint.You're the sanctity of my morning; You're my nighttime, serene. You're my nocturnal fantasy, my love, when I am in dream.Before I lay my head to rest, though,I pray to the lord for us, and then my soul to keep. I then tell God of you're angelic face, so beautiful, I imagine other angels weep.You are my radiant and glowing the angel, Sent down from Heaven on the wings of a Dove.
You?re everything I am looking for, And for you, I plan to reserve all my Love.So, when love finally happens for you and I, You'll have my Heart and all my Love, Until the day I die.You?re a rare and special person. Baby,You enchant my Heart. I thank God for the day I met you. I think we're off to a wonderful start.
When I think of all the things I've seen and all the things I'll never see, I think of you and your immaculate smile that radiates grace...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've heard and all the things I'll never hear, the sound of your sweet voice whispers in my ears so vibrant to my soul...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've touched and all the things. I'll never touch, I call your name and hold your heart close to my soul so firm and yet forever...and I give thanks. When I think of all that has come and all that has passed away, I think of you and pray that as the years go by we will never drift apart...and I give thanks.And when I think of all the things I have and all the things I'll never have, I pray that your love for me will not wither away like the ashes of a dying ember in the wind...and I will always give thanks.
I cherish every word of affirmation you have given me;I cherish the love you have choosen to share so free.I cherish the way you rub my body down after we make love;The way you caress and hold my body tight, like hand in glove.I cherish the sweet scent of your whisper,when you say I love you; I cherish the way you lift my spirit; my troubles you usher me through.I cherish the love for me that fills your heart;I have even learned to chersh the times when we are apart.I love you with my mind, heart, body and soul; Together we can cherish one another until we are old
You're so beautiful to me; You're my sweet dreams of Heaven and Earth.I imagine you've been a treasure to many since the day of your birth.You bring me overwhelming joy, Though we've just begun. When morning has broken, darling, You're my temperate sun.You're the warm glow of iridescent candle light, My twilight and my starry sky. You make my eye's leak crystal tears, For the first time, through a blissful cry.The foremost moment I saw your precious face, You changed the vision of my world And made it a more beautiful place.You've fulfilled my all dreams; You blew me soft baby kisses, Which sweetened my air And fulfilled my warmest wishes.I remember the first gentle touch of your hand, Our first kiss, our first loving embrace,Like a sweet caress as you slowly kissed my lips,Then softly my face.With the just slightest touch of you're lip's on mine,You brought me the most jovial sentiment. You're refreshing to me, like a fresh picked strawberry or the sweetest candy peppermint.You're the sanctity of my morning; You're my nighttime, serene. You're my nocturnal fantasy, my love, when I am in dream.Before I lay my head to rest, though,I pray to the lord for us, and then my soul to keep. I then tell God of you're angelic face, so beautiful, I imagine other angels weep.You are my radiant and glowing the angel, Sent down from Heaven on the wings of a Dove.
You?re everything I am looking for, And for you, I plan to reserve all my Love.So, when love finally happens for you and I, You'll have my Heart and all my Love, Until the day I die.You?re a rare and special person. Baby,You enchant my Heart. I thank God for the day I met you. I think we're off to a wonderful start.
When I think of all the things I've seen and all the things I'll never see, I think of you and your immaculate smile that radiates grace...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've heard and all the things I'll never hear, the sound of your sweet voice whispers in my ears so vibrant to my soul...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've touched and all the things. I'll never touch, I call your name and hold your heart close to my soul so firm and yet forever...and I give thanks. When I think of all that has come and all that has passed away, I think of you and pray that as the years go by we will never drift apart...and I give thanks.And when I think of all the things I have and all the things I'll never have, I pray that your love for me will not wither away like the ashes of a dying ember in the wind...and I will always give thanks.
I cherish every word of affirmation you have given me;I cherish the love you have choosen to share so free.I cherish the way you rub my body down after we make love;The way you caress and hold my body tight, like hand in glove.I cherish the sweet scent of your whisper,when you say I love you; I cherish the way you lift my spirit; my troubles you usher me through.I cherish the love for me that fills your heart;I have even learned to chersh the times when we are apart.I love you with my mind, heart, body and soul; Together we can cherish one another until we are old
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
In the mansions of your arms there was oh such comfort unlike anything I?d ever know as the laden ground with winter's fresh fallen snow a fire, safe and warm, sublime the mystic sound you were mystery, magical moments, completness all around dreams come true, the universal sway of oceans time stood still, when, as children, we were songs of love frozen in time, forever to whispers here and when you drew near to my heart, you were the one, oh love, You were the one I'd been waiting for life's pages of books, the knowledge forever more, of what was, is and shall always be the joy of peace, as the sweet bluebird sings her lullaby. you were sweet roses on the summers of July...the pastel soft brush strokes on the canvas of Renoir. candle flickering hope from angel's songs from afar. You were the dawning light, between night and morning sun and the moments of time all rolled into song's one. You were the thrill of life, exciting, happiness a gift, the joy of peace surrendering to taste your lips and I, now left alone, once savored all of this once given a love such as you, unlike anything else I have ever experienced. You touch my heart, You touch my soul. You touch the very core of my being. The very foundation of my life.You created a world where you and I exist. It's all because of you and the way you change my life.It's all because you truly Love me
In the mansions of your arms there was oh such comfort unlike anything I?d ever know as the laden ground with winter's fresh fallen snow a fire, safe and warm, sublime the mystic sound you were mystery, magical moments, completness all around dreams come true, the universal sway of oceans time stood still, when, as children, we were songs of love frozen in time, forever to whispers here and when you drew near to my heart, you were the one, oh love, You were the one I'd been waiting for life's pages of books, the knowledge forever more, of what was, is and shall always be the joy of peace, as the sweet bluebird sings her lullaby. you were sweet roses on the summers of July...the pastel soft brush strokes on the canvas of Renoir. candle flickering hope from angel's songs from afar. You were the dawning light, between night and morning sun and the moments of time all rolled into song's one. You were the thrill of life, exciting, happiness a gift, the joy of peace surrendering to taste your lips and I, now left alone, once savored all of this once given a love such as you, unlike anything else I have ever experienced. You touch my heart, You touch my soul. You touch the very core of my being. The very foundation of my life.You created a world where you and I exist. It's all because of you and the way you change my life.It's all because you truly Love me
JOURNAL
I got a new pair of glasses and I am having the same problem. I am just going to return the them this weekend.
Work: This new company took down all my picture that I put up to explain to patient of their problem.
I am putting in for vacation time all the way up to Dec
Dating: I was talking to this new woman for two days from match. She is beautiful, not sure she is into me or not...i will keep going and see what happens
Family: Mother's day came and went. I wrote this beautiful letter to my mom and brought her flower and gift.
Had a stupid fight with my dad over something really stupid...i should not make the same mistake again.
Dental: I went to the dentist this weekend. In a month, he will put in the implants. I am also thinking of doing a procedure for my upper gums during my vacation time
Grateful:
-my health
-my parents
-my sister
-my house
-my job
-my savings
-my sight
-my hearing
Work: This new company took down all my picture that I put up to explain to patient of their problem.
I am putting in for vacation time all the way up to Dec
Dating: I was talking to this new woman for two days from match. She is beautiful, not sure she is into me or not...i will keep going and see what happens
Family: Mother's day came and went. I wrote this beautiful letter to my mom and brought her flower and gift.
Had a stupid fight with my dad over something really stupid...i should not make the same mistake again.
Dental: I went to the dentist this weekend. In a month, he will put in the implants. I am also thinking of doing a procedure for my upper gums during my vacation time
Grateful:
-my health
-my parents
-my sister
-my house
-my job
-my savings
-my sight
-my hearing
PERSONAL: I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
I look in the mirror and I wonder, who am I?
Why do I live? And when will I die?
Can any one tell me? Does any one care?
How can life be so wonderful? How can life be so unfair?
I search for the answer. I search for the reason that I am here.
There are more questions than there are answers
And the answers are not so clear.
All I ask from life is to love and to be loved by someone who is true.
Who am I? Could that someone be you?
I see things in this world that I do not understand.
Who am I? And am I really a man?
I wish only one thing to be in my life,
Someone to love me, someone to walk with me
and share my happiness and to share my strife.
I may never find out who I am or why I am here.
I may not find out what makes me happy or what gives me fear.
I may not find that special someone to love me,
That someone who can set my spirit free.
I do know that God loves me and he knows what I can be.
I am what I am and that is me.
Why do I live? And when will I die?
Can any one tell me? Does any one care?
How can life be so wonderful? How can life be so unfair?
I search for the answer. I search for the reason that I am here.
There are more questions than there are answers
And the answers are not so clear.
All I ask from life is to love and to be loved by someone who is true.
Who am I? Could that someone be you?
I see things in this world that I do not understand.
Who am I? And am I really a man?
I wish only one thing to be in my life,
Someone to love me, someone to walk with me
and share my happiness and to share my strife.
I may never find out who I am or why I am here.
I may not find out what makes me happy or what gives me fear.
I may not find that special someone to love me,
That someone who can set my spirit free.
I do know that God loves me and he knows what I can be.
I am what I am and that is me.
Monday, May 12, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
All I have ever wanted, I found in you.When I gazed into your beautiful eyes, I couldn't help but smile.When I heard you laugh for the first time, I couldn't help but laugh, too.When I felt your loving touch for the first time, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world.You are all I have ever wanted, You are my dream come true.I am so glad to have you by my side,
I'm glad it's you that cares. Your lips, as soothing as velvet,asphyxiate my senses,torture me as they leave my lips,and when they touch me again,you bring the heavens down to me.Your look,like a mysterious enigma,won't allow me to escape,nor allow me to look outside your beauty,and when you are with me,you bring the heavens down to me.Your existance,as cruel as a raging fire,as grim and barbarous as an isolated cold night,yet... the only reason for my existance. Your love,may touch my heart,and leave me without life, as you bring the heavens down to me. Wakingfrom the deepest sleep.I open my tired eyes and yet...your face is still the only thing I see
All I have ever wanted, I found in you.When I gazed into your beautiful eyes, I couldn't help but smile.When I heard you laugh for the first time, I couldn't help but laugh, too.When I felt your loving touch for the first time, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world.You are all I have ever wanted, You are my dream come true.I am so glad to have you by my side,
I'm glad it's you that cares. Your lips, as soothing as velvet,asphyxiate my senses,torture me as they leave my lips,and when they touch me again,you bring the heavens down to me.Your look,like a mysterious enigma,won't allow me to escape,nor allow me to look outside your beauty,and when you are with me,you bring the heavens down to me.Your existance,as cruel as a raging fire,as grim and barbarous as an isolated cold night,yet... the only reason for my existance. Your love,may touch my heart,and leave me without life, as you bring the heavens down to me. Wakingfrom the deepest sleep.I open my tired eyes and yet...your face is still the only thing I see
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