SPIRITUAL: OVERCOME SUFFERING

The stress and frustration you’re experiencing has nothing to do with what’s happening right now in this minute. Really, truly.

AND,

The stress you’re experiencing is nothing more than resistance to what is. That’s it. Yes, your resistance to what is is the sole cause of your discomfort, unhappiness, and flat-out stress.

Pretty interesting, right? Here’s what to do with this.

Your stress isn’t now. Let’s start with the fact that stress doesn’t exist in the present moment. Hold up, I sense your doubt but just hear me out. When you’re stressed and resisting your current situation, what’s the focus of your thoughts? I’ll guarantee it’s not focused on the right-here-now moment. The focus of your thoughts is in the projected and imaginary future state in which your current situation is the same, or worse. The focus of your thoughts is around an idea that this stress, pain, discomfort, and/or struggle will not end for a while and your stress is coming from the anticipation that the end in sight is maybe not that much in sight.

Check it out. Take any stressful situation you have going on — anything that is causing any amount of misery and ask yourself: “Where does the misery exist?”

Is it right here in this exact moment NOW as you’re reading this, or is it when you’re thinking about the imminent journey that this situation may travel, extending the misery and strife?

It’s anxiety from the imagined future state. It’s not right now.

Now get really present, shift your attention to your body and just drop your thoughts for a second. Look around you, what is real right now this very second? Nothing really stressful, right?

Ok, now even if you’re reading this from your phone while giving your kids a bath, both screaming and splashing, the smoke alarm is going off, the dog is barking, the doorbell is ringing with an urgent package that must be signed for, and your homemade soup is boiling over I’d STILL argue that any stress you’re feeling is not caused by the what-is-ness of right now, it’s the resistance to the what-is-ness AND the idea that it’s not over. (Meaning, it’s in your imagined future state.)

Here are 3 REAL ways to change your frame and remove the stress you’re feeling from your current situation:

-Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Miserable? Simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is. Many times this simple acknowledgement will transform your resistance into acceptance. But let’s be clear — I’m not talking about resignation where you’re not going to do anything about your situation. By acknowledging your resistance to what is you can shift from reaction to response (see a recent post for more on that). When you’re responsive you can act. When you’re responsive you are present and powerful. When you’re responsive you’re not stressed.
(Practical example: next time you’re stuck behind a really slow driver and get angry, simply acknowledge that you’re resisting what is and see what happens to your anger.)

-If this doesn’t do it for you, then acknowledge that your stress does not exist now. It’s in your imagined future. Don’t paint a miserable future, tell a different story and get present NOW. Forget the past, drop the future, and simply be with what is right now. It is a moment. And every moment is manageable.

-Bonus step (and definitely my favorite if you want to do more than just find relief): Fast forward to the vision you’d like to be true whenever that future state for you is. Tomorrow? Two months? Three years? See the perfect scenario that would make you happy. Now tell the story backwards and explain to yourself how the current situation was absolutely necessary, absolutely on purpose, to get you to this vision.

Painting backwards is AWESOME because it doesn’t just remove the stress from the current circumstance (i.e. the imagined future state) but it puts the current situation in a light where you automatically shift into gratitude and purposefulness.

ARTICLE: One Chart That Shows Just How Screwed Up Our Tax System Really Is

"Twenty-five profitable Fortune 500 companies spent more on lobbying than they paid in federal taxes between 2008 and 2012," according to a Public Campaign analysis of data from Citizens for Tax Justice and the Center for Responsive Politics. This is yet another way our tax structure penalizes individuals and small businesses while supporting mega corporations. We must make tax reform a major issue in the 2014 and 2016 elections to even this out. The analysis showed that over five years, these 25 corporations spent way more money influencing government than supporting it. They generated nearly $170 billion in profits and received $8.7 billion in tax rebates, all while paying their lobbyists $543 million, an average of nearly $300,000 a day, to advance their interests in Congress. The problem: The chart highlights the creme de la creme of corporate tax dodgers, but further data by Citizens for Tax Justice demonstrate this practice is widespread among multinational corporations. Of the 125 companies sampled, 111 enjoyed at least one year in which their federal income tax was zero or less, and all of the 25 companies listed above had a negative income rate over the five-year period. The problem is many giant corporations pay less in taxes than most Americans and small businesses. Why it happens: Companies pay little-to-no taxes because their economic influence on public policy yields them massive returns. In the case of General Electric, which topped the list for tax rebates, their near-$127 million lobbying investment for tax loopholes such as the active finance exemption generated about $3 billion in returns. This is not to say companies lobby on tax issues alone, but those efforts, in addition to campaign donations and super pac contributions, "give them extra access to and influence on politicians who are debating policies like tax reform that directly effect them [sic]," writes Public Campaign. This is why 90% of 55 tax breaks in 2013 supported businesses, especially large corporations, and only 10% supported middle-class members such as teachers and underwater homeowners. The underlying issue: Corporate welfare and giveaways to the wealthy elite has become the status quo. As a new scientific study from Princeton researchers Martin Gilens and Benjamin I. Page points out, the United States functions more like an oligarchy than the democracy. This means public policy is shaped in the interests of the rich, well-connected and politically powerful elite — not the majority of citizens who it claims to represent. Therefore, because average people do not have lobbying operations and V.I.P. access to their representatives, they have larger tax bills than both millionaires and billionaires in this country. Don't believe the hype: Corporate lobbyists and politicians often say the United States' corporate tax rate is too high and not "competitive" enough with the rest of the word. Even President Obama has said he believes the rate should be the lowered. But as you can see from the chart above, the opposite problem exists: Too many corporations are not paying enough in taxes. There are far too many loopholes, which benefit the biggest corporations at the expense of small businesses and individuals. Something must be done. Since the corporate tax rate reflects larger structural issues, this is an issue a real politician should care about. I don't know about you, but I'll vote for any candidate that runs on tax reform in 2014 and 2016.

REVIEW: MOONSTRUCK...SNAP OUT OF IT

It seems like yesterday I went to the movies to see Moonstruck: It was in college and one of the most beautiful woman I ever seen asked me out to see it..in the dorm.

Even at age, I could see and feel the love and romance in practically every scene. I remember watching in awe as Cher transformed from the frumpy Loretta to the sexy woman she didn’t even know existed inside her.  I savored every line and every scene.

And there are so many great romantic scenes in this movie. I could have picked the scene where she meets Ronny in the basement of the bakery. Where she is supposed to ask him to come to her wedding to his brother, Johnny, and put their feud to rest. The sullen, lust-filled stares between them held nothing to the flames from the oven blaring behind Ronny.

Mamma Mia!

Ronny agrees to talk to Loretta in his apartment upstairs. After a passion-filled chat about life and love, Ronny throws the kitchen table, sweeps Loretta off her feet, and repeats he is taking her “to the bed.” After they, um, indeed go to the bed, Loretta hides in the closet and they banter back and forth.

Ronny: You’re trying to make me feel guilty.

Loretta: I’m marrying your brother!

Ronny: All right, I’m guilty. I confess!

Loretta: You’re invited to the wedding! It’s in a few weeks. Why didn’t you do like him and be with your dying mother in Palermo?

Ronny: She didn’t like me.

Loretta: You don’t get along with anybody!

Ronny: What did you do?

Loretta: What did I do?

Ronny: You ruined my life.

Loretta: That’s impossible! It was ruined when I got here! You ruined my life!

Ronny: Oh no I didn’t!

Loretta emerges from the closet, tucking in her blouse.

Loretta: Oh yes, oh yes you did! You’ve got those bad eyes like a gypsy! Why didn’t I see it yesterday! Bad Luck! Is that all I’m ever gonna have? Why didn’t I just pick up a stone and kill myself years and years ago? I’m gonna marry him!

Ronny: What?

Loretta: Last night never happened, you hear me? I’m gonna marry him anyway and last night never happened, and you and I are gonna take this to our coffins!

Ronny: I can’t do that!

Loretta: Why not?

Ronny: I’m in love with you!

Loretta stares at him in alarm, slaps his face, then studies his face to see the effect of the slap. She is dissatisfied and slaps him again.

Loretta: Snap out of it!

Ronny: I can’t!

Loretta: All right. Then I must never see you again. The bad blood will have to stay there between you and Johnny for all time. You won’t come to the wedding.

Ronny: I’ll come to the wedding.

Loretta: I’m telling you, you can’t.

Ronny: But he wants me to come!

Loretta: But that’s ’cause he don’t know!

Ronny: All right. I will not come. Provided one thing.

Loretta: What?

Ronny: That you come with me tonight. Once. To the Opera.

Loretta: What are you talking about?

Ronny: I love two things. I love you, and I love the Opera. If I can have the two things that I love together for one night, I will be satisfied to give up the rest of my life.

Loretta: Alright.

Ronny: All right. Meet me at the Met.

Super duper knee jerking sigh!

But this is not the most romantic scene for me. It’s the end scene that gives me goose bumps. It isn’t the dialogue, but how Ronny and Loretta cannot take their eyes off of each other. It’s how Loretta’s mother, Rose, played by the feisty Olympia Dukakis, worries at how much her daughter is in love, and that it may ruin her. Remember her banging the table screaming: “Ya gotta love bite on your neck, your life’s goin’ down the toilet!”

A few moments later Johnny, the fiancé, arrives and her whole family is there and so is Ronny.

Loretta: Johnny, I have something to tell you.

Johnny: I have something to tell you. But I must talk to you alone.

Loretta: I have no secrets from my family.

Johnny: Loretta, I can’t marry you.

Loretta: What?

Johnny: If I marry you my mother will die.

The Old Man laughs a loud sudden laugh, and then subsides.

Loretta: What the hell are you talking about? We’re engaged.

Ronny: Loretta, what are you talking about?

Loretta: I’m talking about a promise. You proposed to me!

Johnny: Because my mother was dying! But now she’s not.

Ronny: You’re forty-two years old, Johnny, and Mama is still running your life.

Johnny: And you are a son who doesn’t love his mother!

Loretta: And you’re a big liar! I’ve got your ring here!

Johnny: I must ask for that back.

Loretta struggles and pulls off the ring.

Loretta: Here! Take your stupid pinky ring. (She throws it at Johnny) Who needs it? The engagement’s off.

Johnny retrieves the ring.

Johnny: In time, you will see that this is the best thing.

Loretta: In time, you will drop dead, and I will come to your funeral in a red dress.

Ronny: Loretta?

Loretta: What!

Ronny: Will you marry me?

Johnny: What?

Loretta: Where’s the ring?

Ronny looks to Johnny a little sheepishly.

Ronny: Could I ah…borrow that ring?

Johnny, in shock, hands it over to Ronny.

Ronny: Thanks.

He kneels down before Loretta. He presents the ring to her.

Ronny: Will you marry me, Loretta Castorini Clark?

Loretta: Before all these people, yes, I will marry you, Ronny Cammareri!

She takes the ring. Ronny and Loretta kiss.

Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?

Loretta: Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.

Rose: Oh God, that’s too bad.

Sigh! The comedy, the confusion as all the story lines coming together, the love… this scene is my favorite. It makes you laugh, tear up, and it leaves you wishing you came from a quirky Italian family from Brooklyn.

I left the movie theater that night, desperately looking for a can to kick, like Cher. There wasn’t one so I pretended and twirled around the parking lot, wondering what my future love life would be and would I love someone “awful.” All these years later, I do. Sigh.

ARTICLE: Geithner is trying to rewrite history in new book By John Crudel

What’s wrong with this picture?

Tim Geithner, the former US Treasury secretary and one-time head of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, wants to be seen as one of the guys who got the financial system out of trouble.
It wasn’t easy, he admits.

And it wasn’t always neat. In fact, you might even call it messy. And — oh, my! — Geithner suffered for his efforts. He’s still suffering today. And you’ll understand this more fully if you cough up $25 for his new book.

Tradition dictates that I give the book’s title and the publisher at this point. But I’m not going to. I don’t want to be responsible for even one extra copy of this book being sold.

So here’s what is wrong with the picture that Geithner is trying to sell: He doesn’t show his other face, the one that helped get America into all that trouble.

I have to admit that I haven’t read Geithner’s (Title Omitted), and I’m not planning to. It’s bad enough when people in public office try to rewrite history. But it is worse when they try to make money while torturing the public record.

New York has a Son of Sam Law that prevents criminals from benefiting financially from their misdeeds. Shouldn’t there be a moral code that restricts people — especially public officials like Geithner — from trying to benefit from their mistakes?

Even though I haven’t read (Title Omitted), Geithner was all over the place in the last few days giving interviews about his book and defending his record.

“People think we gave the banks this free gift of hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars, using the taxpayers’ money that we would never see again. People thought we would lose $2 trillion on our financial rescue,” Geithner told a group of Harvard students.

The quote was picked up in a cover story in the Sunday New York Times magazine that has a photo of the “naturally boyish” Geithner on the cover. (Giggle, giggle.) “He looked hardly older than the teaching assistants in the front row,” cooed the Times.

Geithner’s point was that the US government made money on its deal with the banks — a couple hundred billion dollars. Wow! Why didn’t we give them more money?

But there’s something Geithner isn’t telling you. The risk-to-reward ratio of those bank deals was skewed tremendously to the risk side. And just to make sure the banks did okay, the Federal Reserve — through hook and quantitative easing — had to make sure interest rates remained infinitesimal.

In other words, the deal Geithner is now lauding required that interest rates remain unnaturally low for six years and counting. And those low rates cost American savers many, many times the amount of money the government made on its bank deals.

In short, American savers ended up subsidizing those bailouts through what was — and continues to be — a secret tax on their assets. Speak to that, Mr. Geithner and I’ll buy your lousy book!

But that’s not my only problem with Geithner, who concedes in the Times interview that even he felt ill-equipped for some of the jobs that were thrust upon him.

Geithner’s bio shows the progress of a guy who was in convenient jobs when big people — let’s call them Wall Streeters — needed a dupe.

He worked under five Treasury secretaries in all — both Democrats and Republicans. So Geithner was, in essence, an equal opportunity patsy.

In 2003, he became president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank. The president of that bank is a permanent voting member of the Fed’s Open Market Committee, which makes policy.

So Geithner is as guilty as anyone else — Fed chairmen Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke included — for keeping interest rates so low that a housing bubble developed when millions of unqualified buyers suddenly found their home loans approved.

Geithner wasn’t just cleaning up a mess after the financial crisis, he was cleaning up a mess that he helped make. It’s like BP wanting credit for getting all that goo out of the Gulf of Mexico after the spill.

You made the mess, now clean it up without bitching (or selling your story.)

The New York Fed is unique for another reason. It has the desk from which the Fed does all its trades. If the Fed wants to change the value of the US dollar compared with other currencies, the NY Fed does the job.

When Treasury wants to drain liquidity from the banking system, the NY Fed is on the case. Make liquidity more prevalent? You guess it, the NY Fed.

In other words, Geithner’s operation had to work very closely with Wall Street firms that were also trading. So it’s no wonder that Geithner once declared to Congress that he’d never been a regulator “for better or worse.”

Well, the NY Fed’s other job was to keep an eye on banks — to regulate them. That Geithner didn’t know this is even scarier than the fact that he got caught filing false tax returns and still eventually got the job as Treasury secretary.

All that trading experience came in handywhen Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and his pals on Wall Street needed to rig the stock market in 2007-08. Geithner at the time was still heading the NY Fed and a year from taking over for Paulson.

In one five-hour period that started before the market opened on Sept. 18, 2008, for instance, Geithner either called or was called by Paulson six times. During the same time period, Paulson was also speed-dialing the heads of a number of well-connected Wall Street firms.

Geithner once admitted that during the financial crisis that Washington “was forced to do extraordinary things and, frankly, offensive things to help save the economy.”

I’ll give Geithner 25 bucks if he’ll spill on the “offensive things.” But I still won’t buy his book.

FROM A FAN

 I think your absolute best quality more than anything else, something that sets you apart, something that might not be so apparent to those that don't really matter anyway. But a truly very attractive and addictive even to those that pick up on it, for those that see your eyes and find something they haven't seen in a longtime. Coming from a similar childlike mind, I saw it. I have a  similar innocence. But yours is different. One look in yours eyes and you can see you are a dreamer. 

You dream of beauty, fairytales, castles, your favorite movies, love, babies. And you believe it. You dream of these happy endings regardless of if life has shown you otherwise. You dream of love and have hope. You don't seem to realize your dreams are necessary for the rest to have hope in this happily ever after also. Without people that dream of something better the world would surely drown in its own gloom.  There are others that are dreamers as well. They have made us masterpieces that have endured centuries, they are artists of words, clay, paint, theatrics, and music. But they usually live in this realm. They give us so much to admire, but they are only dreamers. Not like you. You are different,  you are more unique.  What you have, who you are is an incredible duality. Because you live in reality as well. You are the perfect blend of an idealist and a realist at the same time. You may dream but you don't get lost in it. You might reality might seem grim, but you don't stay there either. You Handle  your business and then go right back to dreaming. I am a dreamer, but I can get lost in fantasyland, so better not do that. Others work hard their reality is all about work, responsibility, but their imaginations, hope, and hearts are a little dry.

You are spectacular because you are very smart. You are savvy with numbers, well read, knowledgeable on many varied topics. But what you do with your intelligence is even better.  You do not flaunt it, you use it. You Use your intelligence correctly because you have a lot of common sense. You prioritize correctly. Everyone could really learn something from you on that precise topic priorities. You did the right things. You listened to your parents, which was smart. You Are also really good listener,  you listen to others story with compassion. You know how to handle business, and you do just that. But you keep it there. 

Once outside the realm of reality you switch back into the little boy dreamer who is really just looking for his little special friend. Yeah you talk alot  of crap about needing good sex, for someone be submissive to you, all these things.  And that is what they are things. You want these things because of hurt you've had. You want submissive woman because of your emotional baggage. You think you need these things, like really really need them.  But all you really truly desire is a loyal best friend who can live in your innocent little boy dreams. If you found that sweet woman who is really like you and little dreamer girl inside,  these other things will never be an issue, sex and power they are adult things, children don't love like that. They love by sharing their toys, talking about old tv shows, finding simply things in life that make them happy. Children are happy and love with sandwiches in a tent in the backyard, flashlights and popcorn during scary movie, dancing naked in the shower, dreaming of castles and clouds while holding a paint brush.

you are so special because you can accomplish what so many of us wish we could you handle your business like a man with prioritizing adult things like family, finances, health, security... But you love like a child.  You are that perfect example of becoming what you imagine yourself to be. That dreaming is important,  but so is either leaving it for the dreams or working and achieving your goals. One look in your eyes and you are reminded of childhood innocence, of love, of no worries, of hope and fairytales.One word from your mouth and you are reminded of what you have to do as an adult, what to prioritize,  how to be responsible, how to not have drama. From a strangers point of view I would imagine you as being quite fascinating. These dual nature's you have are quite rare.
From a loved ones point of view you must be so special, a true friend, a good brother, son... and one day husband and father. It might be hard for some to see past some thorns you got. But if they did, they would see that special light in you, who would not want to ride thru this journey called life with someone who not only is a reliable partner. But who make you smile and giggle like a five year old little girl.

PERSONAL: YOU'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE

You're out there somewhere,And I feel you.Even though...I don't know who you are,I, just, know you're there.I miss you,Even though...We have not met or loved,Other than in my imagination.I, just, know you're there.I love you,Even though...My heart cannot touch you,The way I want to.To feel the love between us.Someday... it will happen because,I, just, know you're there.

Every night I close my eyes and drift into a deep sleep,and as the dream starts I feel it becoming more real.Every time I have it,my dream is of you...Of the true love, I have for you.My dream is of being able to be there;of being able to look into your eyes and see the stars from above... in them.Run my fingers through your silk-like hair; reflecting the sun at day and at night... Reflecting the moon onto your face,making you more pretty than you already are. Holding you close to me,feeling your heart beat against mine.One together... forever and always;our bond of true love can pull us through anything...I wanna spend my life with you;no other do I want or ever will want.You're the only one for me;God brought us together and so did our Guardian Angels...Nothing could ever take me from you;I love you truly... madly... and deeply from my heart and my soul...So take my hand and let's go onin our dreams, now turned to reality.For we have less and less time;'till we can finally hold each other

PERSONAL: YOU FOUND ME

I can’t believe you found me when no one else was looking. How did you know just where I would be? I guess that you saw what nobody could see.. You found me. You found me. Before you came along...i was scared. Will I ever find love? Will love ever find ME? The thought of it crosses my mind often. I love myself, I think I’m handsome. People always say that people need confidence, I have it. I have it all. What if no one else see the beauty within me, that I do? What if no one finds me attractive like I find myself attractive? I hope someone will come along and find the beauty that I find within myself. and you did. I love that you understand that you don’t just automatically love someone. You slowly learn how to trust them, how to start believing in them. You want to be with them to the point where you’re jealous of anyone else who gets a little of their time. It gets you mad, but you learn to get past it, because you can’t be jealous forever. And then you realize, you don’t even feel jealousy anymore because you have this unwavering confidence that this person will never leave you, never betray you and would never pick someone else over you. They make you feel irreplaceable. That’s when it hits you. You really do love each other and it’s completely unbreakable.. I also have to tell you more.... sometimes I feel like there’s a hole inside me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night wanting. But still, sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen.

I want to be indispensable. I want to be someone’s all, I want to be the reason why somebody smiles first thing in the morning. Because it feels like I’m always the one making people indispensable to me. I am always making someone my all, I’m always smiling when I wake up because of that someone. For once I want the chance to have someone care for me the way I care too much about everyone else..Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing, love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or a visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens and it’s so incredibly messy.

When it comes to relationships people are always so scared of the what-if’s that they forget the what-is. They spend so much time thinking, ‘What if I get hurt?’ and ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ that they stop thinking about that things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room and the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings because it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what-if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love…because “what if” this is the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with?

Love at first click? I absolutely believe in it. You’ve got to keep the faith. Who doesn’t like the idea that you could see someone tomorrow and she could be the love of your life? It’s very romantic

LOVE LETTER:MY DEAREST LOVE

My Dearest Love...

You're so beautiful to me; You're my sweet dreams of Heaven and Earth.I imagine you've been a treasure to many since the day of your birth.You bring me overwhelming joy, Though we've just begun. When morning has broken, darling, You're my temperate sun.You're the warm glow of iridescent candle light, My twilight and my starry sky. You make my eye's leak crystal tears, For the first time, through a blissful cry.The foremost moment I saw your precious face, You changed the vision of my world And made it a more beautiful place.You've fulfilled my all dreams; You blew me soft baby kisses, Which sweetened my air And fulfilled my warmest wishes.I remember the first gentle touch of your hand, Our first kiss, our first loving embrace,Like a sweet caress as you slowly kissed my lips,Then softly my face.With the just slightest touch of you're lip's on mine,You brought me the most jovial sentiment. You're refreshing to me, like a fresh picked strawberry or the sweetest candy peppermint.You're the sanctity of my morning; You're my nighttime, serene. You're my nocturnal fantasy, my love, when I am in dream.Before I lay my head to rest, though,I pray to the lord for us, and then my soul to keep.  I then tell God of you're angelic face, so beautiful, I imagine other angels weep.You are my radiant and glowing the angel, Sent down from Heaven on the wings of a Dove.
You?re everything I am looking for, And for you, I plan to reserve all my Love.So, when love finally happens for you and I, You'll have my Heart and all my Love, Until the day I die.You?re a rare and special person. Baby,You enchant my Heart. I thank God for the day I met you. I think we're off to a wonderful start.

When I think of all the things I've seen and all the things I'll  never see, I think of you and your immaculate smile that  radiates grace...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've heard and all the things I'll never hear, the sound of your sweet voice whispers in my ears so vibrant to my soul...and I give thanks. When I think of all the things I've touched and all the things.  I'll never touch, I call your name and hold your heart close to  my soul so firm and yet forever...and I give thanks. When I think of all that has come and all that has passed away, I think of you and pray that as the years go by we will never drift apart...and I give thanks.And when I think of all the things I have and all the things I'll  never have, I pray that your love for me will not wither away like the ashes of a dying ember in the wind...and I will always give thanks.

I cherish every word of affirmation you have given me;I cherish the love you have choosen to share so free.I cherish the way you rub my body down after we make love;The way you caress and hold my body tight, like hand in glove.I cherish the sweet scent of your whisper,when you say I love you; I cherish the way you lift my spirit; my troubles you usher me through.I cherish the love for me that fills your heart;I have even learned to chersh the times when we are apart.I love you with my mind, heart, body and soul; Together we can cherish one another until we are old

LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate, 

In the mansions of your arms there was oh such comfort unlike anything I?d ever know as the laden ground with winter's fresh fallen snow a fire, safe and warm, sublime the mystic sound you were mystery, magical moments, completness all around dreams come true, the universal sway of oceans time stood still, when, as children, we were songs of love  frozen in time, forever to whispers here and when you drew near to my heart, you were the one, oh love, You were the one I'd been waiting for life's pages of books, the knowledge forever more, of what was, is and shall always be the joy of peace, as the sweet bluebird sings her lullaby. you were sweet roses on the summers of July...the pastel soft brush strokes on the canvas of Renoir. candle flickering hope from angel's songs from afar. You were the dawning light, between night and morning sun and the moments of time all rolled into song's one. You were the thrill of life, exciting, happiness a gift, the joy of peace surrendering to taste your lips and I, now left alone, once savored all of this once given a love such as you, unlike anything else I have ever experienced. You touch my heart, You touch my soul. You touch the very core of my being. The very foundation of my life.You created a world where you and I exist. It's all because of you and the way you change my life.It's all because you truly Love me

JOURNAL

I got a new pair of glasses and I am having the same problem. I am just going to return the them this weekend.

Work: This new company took down all my picture that I put up to explain to patient of their problem.
I am putting in for vacation time all the way up to Dec

Dating: I was talking to this new woman for two days from match. She is beautiful, not sure she is into me or not...i will keep going and see what happens

Family: Mother's day came and went. I wrote this beautiful letter to my mom and brought her flower and gift.
Had a stupid fight with my dad over something really stupid...i should not make the same mistake again.

Dental: I went to the dentist this weekend. In a month, he will put in the implants. I am also thinking of doing a procedure for my upper gums during my vacation time

Grateful:
-my health
-my parents
-my sister
-my house
-my job
-my savings
-my sight
-my hearing

PERSONAL: I LOOK IN THE MIRROR

I look in the mirror and I wonder, who am I?
Why do I live?  And when will I die?
Can any one tell me?  Does any one care?
How can life be so wonderful?  How can life be so unfair?
I search for the answer.  I search for the reason that I am here.
There are more questions than there are answers
And the answers are not so clear.
All I ask from life is to love and to be loved by someone who is true.
Who am I?  Could that someone be you?
I see things in this world that I do not understand.
Who am I?  And am I really a man?
I wish only one thing to be in my life,
Someone to love me, someone to walk with me
and share my happiness and to share my strife.
I may never find out who I am or why I am here.
I may not find out what makes me happy or what gives me fear.
I may not find that special someone to love me,
That someone who can set my spirit free.
I do know that God loves me and he knows what I can be.
I am what I am and that is me.

LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE

Dear Soulmate

All I have ever wanted, I found in you.When I gazed into your beautiful eyes, I couldn't help but smile.When I heard you laugh for the first time, I couldn't help but laugh, too.When I felt your loving touch for the first time, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world.You are all I have ever wanted, You are my dream come true.I am so glad to have you by my side,
I'm glad it's you that cares. Your lips, as soothing as velvet,asphyxiate my senses,torture me as they leave my lips,and when they touch me again,you bring the heavens down to me.Your look,like a mysterious enigma,won't allow me to escape,nor allow me to look outside your beauty,and when you are with me,you bring the heavens down to me.Your existance,as cruel as a raging fire,as grim and barbarous as an isolated cold night,yet... the only reason for my existance. Your love,may touch my heart,and leave me without life, as you bring the heavens down to me. Wakingfrom the deepest sleep.I open my tired eyes and yet...your face is still the only thing I see

PERSONAL: LOOKING FOR THAT NICE GIRL

 To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he’ll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention. This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it’s an experience that they don’t want to miss out on.This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty,

This one’s for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won’t because it’s easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he’s just not ready, he’s just not over her, he’s just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it’s easier to believe that it’s not that they don’t want you, it’s that they don’t want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he’s with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you.

This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

If i were to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, I would give my number and can't wait to talk to you.… and if you were to receive a call from me the next day and were to tell you one of your friends that you found a intriguing and attractive and interesting man and worth your time and perhaps material from which you could fashion a boyfriend and husband.

JOURNAL: SOME OF MY IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS

irrational thoughts that rational people often fall victim to at one point or another:

-Mistakes are never acceptable.  If I make one, it means that I am incompetent.
-When somebody disagrees with me, it is a personal attack against me.
-To be content in life, I must be liked by all people.
-My true value as an individual depends on what others think of me.
-If I am not involved in an intimate relationship, I am completely alone.
-There is no grey area.  Success is black and failure is white.
-Nothing ever turns out the way you want it to.
-If the outcome was not perfect, it was a complete failure.
-I am in absolute control of my life.  If something bad happens, it is my fault.
-The past always repeats itself.  If it was true then, it must be true now.

THOUGHTS/DATING: BEING NEEDY VS BEING CONFIDENT

Neediness means you don’t trust in yourself and your own worth. You value the opinions of others over your own. You seek external approval of who you are and what you do.

Simply put, being needy is caring more about how people perceive you rather than how you perceive yourself. Because of it, your behaviors and actions will revolve around pleasing others rather than satisfying yourself.

By this definition, it’s not about the actions you take but why you take them. The intention behind your actions is what makes you needy. Therefore, any action can be needy or self-confident depending on the mindset of where it comes from.

Why is being needy so unattractive?

Now that you know what neediness is, why is it such a turn off?

Think about it like this…

You and a woman just met. You barely know each other. She hasn’t had a chance to invest in you with her time and emotions.

You should want to get to know her, see if she’s willing to invest, and find out if she’s compatible with you. You shouldn’t need to win her over or need her approval.

Why would you? And what does that say about you?

It says that you’re desperate for attention from someone, anyone. It shows you’re obsessed with the idea of her rather than the actual person inside. Therefore, you must not have standards for yourself or many options in your life. You’re then seen as less desirable.

You’re also being dishonest. You’re always micromanaging or hiding your true opinions, wants, and desires for everyone else. You’re demonstrating that you don’t trust, value, or respect yourself. Would you trust a person like that?

Women are attracted to men who have the courage to lead and remain authentic.

Is external validation always wrong?

Gaining some validation from external sources isn’t all bad. Everyone wants to be liked or found attractive – that’s a normal human quality. If you never care about anyone else’s opinions, you may be a sociopath.

How often you seek external validation will change depending on who you’re dealing with.

It’s natural to seek some approval from people you have long-established connections with such as parents, close friends, or your significant other.

It’s not natural to seek constant approval from women you just met, have gone on a couple dates with, or haven’t even been intimate with. This includes your female friends you secretly desire.

And you especially shouldn’t seek approval from women who don’t invest in you.

If a woman  barely responds to my texts, cancelle on dates, and never commits to hanging out.I just move on.

What does that say about you when you chase someone who ignores you or doesn’t value your time?

99% of the time you’re not going to convince a girl who’s uninterested to suddenly be interested. Nor should you want to.

She’s not going to say, “I haven’t given this guy the time of day and it’s so attractive that he still keeps crawling back.”

The only way to be non-needy in those situations is to walk away. Find women who interest you and who are interested in you.

How to be self-confident instead of needy

To become self-confident you must start adopting the mindset of “What do I want?” rather than “What does everyone else want?” And then repeatedly take actions that are congruent with that.

You can’t go around analyzing what every woman wants and trying to fit that mold. You will never attract the right people for you or have your needs fulfilled.

Instead, you have to think…

“What do I want to talk about despite how I may be perceived? What do I want to do in this situation? What do I want from this connection?”

This isn’t about being a dick or disrespecting others. You simply lead with your intentions and the other person decides whether or not to invest back.

Here are some examples of neediness vs self-confidence:

-Overanalyzing if you should or shouldn’t approach a girl you find attractive. Not introducing yourself because she might think you’re creepy or will reject you immediately. Needy

-Approaching a girl you find attractive regardless of how you think the situation may unfold or what the outcome may be. Self-Confident



-Trying to memorize openers, lines, or routines just so you can talk to women.  Needy

-Trying to talk to women as yourself, in the moment. Self-Confident
Pretending to be a friend or study buddy just to spend time with a girl you want to be romantic with. Needy


-Willing to risk losing a girl by treating her like someone you’re interested in and expressing your sexual intentions. Self-Confident


-Hiding or lying about what you believe in or who you are in fear of being judged. Needy


-Being unashamed about your opinions and all parts of your personality. Self-Confident 




Delaying texting a girl back because you think it’ll make you look cool or like more of a “catch”. Needy
-Working on your health, lifestyle, or  social skills to impress other people. Needy

-Working on improving yourself and building a happy life for yourself. Self-Confident


-Seeing an attractive woman and telling yourself she’s better than you or “out of your league” before you even know her. Needy

-Seeing an attractive women and telling yourself she’s an equal who you want to get to know. Self-Confident


-Chasing or staying with a girl who doesn’t invest in you, doesn’t respect you, or you know isn’t the right person because you’re afraid of being alone. Needy

-Walking away from a girl who doesn’t invest in you, doesn’t respect you, or you know isn’t the right person regardless of being alone after. Self-Confident