You can learn a lot about a woman by looking at her eyes. Are they alive or flat? Cold or warm? Do they convey expression? Amusement? Are there crow’s feet at the edges that are the mark of a woman who smiles and laughs? What do her eyes say about her intent?
Looking back, every woman I ever went out with told me everything I needed to know with her eyes, without saying a word.I love gazing into large, dark, deep beautiful eyes,
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
LOVE: THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING
Well, I am a really, really funny and amazing guy. And you know what? The world doesn’t work that way.
This is how the world works:
If a woman is looking for love online, either browsing personal ads or answering craig’s list personal ads, she is in one of the following ways: addict. overweight. ugly. angry. mean. single mom. deeply conflicted. low self-esteem. shitty job. no career. no ambition. wants kids. wants financial support. trying to cheat on husband. etc. etc. etc.
The really hot, quality girls are either married, or in “monogamous” relationships. The scare quotes around “monogamous” just mean that they might slip up and sleep with a friend or a random dude in a bar if the mood strikes. Nobody finds out or if they do, they’re forgiven.
The really hot, quality girls spend all their days in a corporate environment (since men and women are equal now) and then go home to their bore-friends who fuck them in pretty much the same way all the time. (I know this because I’ve been one of those bore-friends).
The really hot, quality girls might go out on a ‘girls ‘night’ but then it’s all about drinking and dancing and looking hot and only occasionally, in a very rare instance, letting themselves get fucked. So-called ‘players’ or player wannabes will spend 90% of their effort trying to find or manufacture those instances when an otherwise ‘claimed’ woman will open her legs for just one night.
The really hot, quality girls are therefore SEQUESTERED away from any really hot, quality guys who may be single.
The really hot, quality girls who are SOMEHOW STILL SINGLE are therefore free to sigh, “where are all the GOOD guys?” Simple because they have constructed (or rather, allowed society to construct for them) a CLOISTER around their lives so they have ALMOST NO CHANCE of meeting a decent guy outside of an alcohol-soaked dance club where they won’t remember anything anyway.
The way for an awesome, funny, intelligent guy like me is NOT TO POST PERSONALS, but to go out to an alcohol-soaked dance club, insult women, insult men, and generally act like an arrogant douche-canoe until a girl is amused enough to let me drag her back to my car / apartment where I will proceed to pound her like a cheap steak, an event that will go down in her personal history as ‘the best night of passion of my life’ due to her filling in all the awkward gaps caused by alcoholic memory erasure with scenes from her favorite romance novel, but which will expose ABSOLUTELY NONE of my best qualities, and therefore lead to no number exchange, no further conversation, no personal expansion, no authentic encounter, no mutuality, no connection, and nothing, in other words, worth doing at all.
If you’re a hot, funny, attractive, intelligent single guy, and you don’t live in NYC, LA, SFO, or (maybe) Chicago, the best thing you can do is either A) move to one of the aforementioned places and join the rest of the human dating race, or B) slit your wrists right now.
This is how the world works:
If a woman is looking for love online, either browsing personal ads or answering craig’s list personal ads, she is in one of the following ways: addict. overweight. ugly. angry. mean. single mom. deeply conflicted. low self-esteem. shitty job. no career. no ambition. wants kids. wants financial support. trying to cheat on husband. etc. etc. etc.
The really hot, quality girls are either married, or in “monogamous” relationships. The scare quotes around “monogamous” just mean that they might slip up and sleep with a friend or a random dude in a bar if the mood strikes. Nobody finds out or if they do, they’re forgiven.
The really hot, quality girls spend all their days in a corporate environment (since men and women are equal now) and then go home to their bore-friends who fuck them in pretty much the same way all the time. (I know this because I’ve been one of those bore-friends).
The really hot, quality girls might go out on a ‘girls ‘night’ but then it’s all about drinking and dancing and looking hot and only occasionally, in a very rare instance, letting themselves get fucked. So-called ‘players’ or player wannabes will spend 90% of their effort trying to find or manufacture those instances when an otherwise ‘claimed’ woman will open her legs for just one night.
The really hot, quality girls are therefore SEQUESTERED away from any really hot, quality guys who may be single.
The really hot, quality girls who are SOMEHOW STILL SINGLE are therefore free to sigh, “where are all the GOOD guys?” Simple because they have constructed (or rather, allowed society to construct for them) a CLOISTER around their lives so they have ALMOST NO CHANCE of meeting a decent guy outside of an alcohol-soaked dance club where they won’t remember anything anyway.
The way for an awesome, funny, intelligent guy like me is NOT TO POST PERSONALS, but to go out to an alcohol-soaked dance club, insult women, insult men, and generally act like an arrogant douche-canoe until a girl is amused enough to let me drag her back to my car / apartment where I will proceed to pound her like a cheap steak, an event that will go down in her personal history as ‘the best night of passion of my life’ due to her filling in all the awkward gaps caused by alcoholic memory erasure with scenes from her favorite romance novel, but which will expose ABSOLUTELY NONE of my best qualities, and therefore lead to no number exchange, no further conversation, no personal expansion, no authentic encounter, no mutuality, no connection, and nothing, in other words, worth doing at all.
If you’re a hot, funny, attractive, intelligent single guy, and you don’t live in NYC, LA, SFO, or (maybe) Chicago, the best thing you can do is either A) move to one of the aforementioned places and join the rest of the human dating race, or B) slit your wrists right now.
PERSONAL: I AM 6 FEET TALL
I am not 6 feet tall,but I feel like that is the magic online height number you ladies are looking for… So you would “over”look me before even looking at me. I’m not short mind you;I’m 5′7 s few inches away from your arbitrary height cut off… If online dating was like Disney World I’d be too short to ride on the rollercoaster of love,well that’s fine with me because while you are trying to defy gravity while on the roller coaster ride reading “He’s Just Not That Into You”and “They Call It a Breakup Because It’s Broken”only to get off feel nauseous and talk to your girlfriends about what happened and why he didn’t call you and analyze why and if he likes you and blah blah blah…You COULD have been out with me drinking Pina Coladas,getting caught in the rain,not being too into yoga,admiring my half a brain;we could have made love at mid-night etc.
Seriously if you want a RICH guy and like weekends in Long Island, expensive dinners,and random trips to Aruba รข€“ it might be a good idea to respond to me. Have I got some guys for you,of course they are older…much older…and married…
It’s not true that I JUST want to get laid. I want to be in love and hold hands and all of that stuff¦ and if we happen to have sex along the way –Great. Actually,better than Great kidding of course (about the holding hands thing…)
I am a normal guy,I get along with my parents,I have a job,I leave the toilet seat up and I like sports. Real sports where people collide into each other and woman in revealing outfits roam the sidelines but of course I never look…And if you came with me to a game I would say things like “No,who cares if a girl with fake breasts can do splits half naked in the snow and rain…All I care about is that I am here with you.”And you know what the sappy truth is,that it would be true.
I like movies but I also like gossip…I am that guy that can hang with the guys,but actually loves dating women so I can read your US and Cosmo for celebrity gossip. Here’s the dirty truth good gossip is just as exciting as a good game…If not better.
Seriously if you want a RICH guy and like weekends in Long Island, expensive dinners,and random trips to Aruba รข€“ it might be a good idea to respond to me. Have I got some guys for you,of course they are older…much older…and married…
It’s not true that I JUST want to get laid. I want to be in love and hold hands and all of that stuff¦ and if we happen to have sex along the way –Great. Actually,better than Great kidding of course (about the holding hands thing…)
I am a normal guy,I get along with my parents,I have a job,I leave the toilet seat up and I like sports. Real sports where people collide into each other and woman in revealing outfits roam the sidelines but of course I never look…And if you came with me to a game I would say things like “No,who cares if a girl with fake breasts can do splits half naked in the snow and rain…All I care about is that I am here with you.”And you know what the sappy truth is,that it would be true.
I like movies but I also like gossip…I am that guy that can hang with the guys,but actually loves dating women so I can read your US and Cosmo for celebrity gossip. Here’s the dirty truth good gossip is just as exciting as a good game…If not better.
LOVE: NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
A beautiful woman recently told me that she never been in love....and I was thinking
There's this feeling we get for other people that's an exhilarating cocktail of passion, lust and desire for their company. Sometimes we have this feeling the moment we meet someone & sometimes we have this feeling for multiple people at the same time. This feeling compels us to do crazy things. Here in America clever marketers use this feeling to get us to spend a lot of money around this time of the year. The world calls this feeling love.
Now I prefer the old school definition of love, which is the ongoing act of sacrifice to something greater than oneself.
Think about the ongoing demanding acts of sacrifice involved when
• A mother or father gives up their life & career to raise their child
• A soldier gives up their life to defend their country
• A business person works 80 hours a week to build a company
Unless you've shown this intensity of commitment to another person you where romantically involved with don't cheapen the definition of love by saying that you were in love with them.
Now while modern day musicians and philosophers struggle to put a definition on romantic love. The defining philosophers and authors of the ages knew exactly what it was; that special feeling perpetuated for a life time between 2 people by the ongoing sacrifice of both partners to each other and to something greater than themselves
There's this feeling we get for other people that's an exhilarating cocktail of passion, lust and desire for their company. Sometimes we have this feeling the moment we meet someone & sometimes we have this feeling for multiple people at the same time. This feeling compels us to do crazy things. Here in America clever marketers use this feeling to get us to spend a lot of money around this time of the year. The world calls this feeling love.
Now I prefer the old school definition of love, which is the ongoing act of sacrifice to something greater than oneself.
Think about the ongoing demanding acts of sacrifice involved when
• A mother or father gives up their life & career to raise their child
• A soldier gives up their life to defend their country
• A business person works 80 hours a week to build a company
Unless you've shown this intensity of commitment to another person you where romantically involved with don't cheapen the definition of love by saying that you were in love with them.
Now while modern day musicians and philosophers struggle to put a definition on romantic love. The defining philosophers and authors of the ages knew exactly what it was; that special feeling perpetuated for a life time between 2 people by the ongoing sacrifice of both partners to each other and to something greater than themselves
LOVE: FEELING LIKE THE WORLD IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME
There are a lot of couples in the world, so why is it that I can’t find love when everyone else seems to be jumping between partners all the time? I feel like the world is conspiring against me and pushing every eligible partner away from me. Or it may be because of my hectic work hours as a doctor or how I lack of chisel look, not being 6 feet tall.. It could be alot a lot of reasons
I look in the mirror everyday in the morning and list out the reasons. But then again, haven’t people with all the shortcomings are getting loving partners and leading happy lives? So why is it not working for me. The truth? I can’t find love because I'am letting those shortcomings get in the way. It’s weighing my confidence down like a big bag of bricks on your back. It’s easy to lose motivation and confidence, and finally give up. But giving up really has never helped anyone. On the other hand, I know guys who are extremely confident about their appearances and everything else, but they’re still single and looking for someone. Why are they single?
If you really want to find love, you need to be looking for love. Many people say that it’s better not to go looking for love. They say love will come to you when the time is right. But that’s not true. Why is looking for love any different from looking for a job? You can’t sit back and wait for the perfect job to land on your lap. You have to look for it. Sometimes, people get lucky, of course. But it’s not always the case.
I never stop looking for love. But I am not running around frantically waving my hands and yelling “I want to find love!” What I learned from my divorce is finding love isn’t as *easy* as finding a great job though. Finding love is complicated and tricky, and you’re never going to know where to find it. and I guess this is why I am here. But online dating sucks, you are going to have to deal with rejections. You can’t expect everyone you fall in love with to fall right back into love with you. It’s just like a job application. You can’t really get any job you want, every time you send in an application, right? If someone’s not interested in going out with you, move on and try to find someone who likes you back too.
I look in the mirror everyday in the morning and list out the reasons. But then again, haven’t people with all the shortcomings are getting loving partners and leading happy lives? So why is it not working for me. The truth? I can’t find love because I'am letting those shortcomings get in the way. It’s weighing my confidence down like a big bag of bricks on your back. It’s easy to lose motivation and confidence, and finally give up. But giving up really has never helped anyone. On the other hand, I know guys who are extremely confident about their appearances and everything else, but they’re still single and looking for someone. Why are they single?
If you really want to find love, you need to be looking for love. Many people say that it’s better not to go looking for love. They say love will come to you when the time is right. But that’s not true. Why is looking for love any different from looking for a job? You can’t sit back and wait for the perfect job to land on your lap. You have to look for it. Sometimes, people get lucky, of course. But it’s not always the case.
I never stop looking for love. But I am not running around frantically waving my hands and yelling “I want to find love!” What I learned from my divorce is finding love isn’t as *easy* as finding a great job though. Finding love is complicated and tricky, and you’re never going to know where to find it. and I guess this is why I am here. But online dating sucks, you are going to have to deal with rejections. You can’t expect everyone you fall in love with to fall right back into love with you. It’s just like a job application. You can’t really get any job you want, every time you send in an application, right? If someone’s not interested in going out with you, move on and try to find someone who likes you back too.
PUSSY: PUSSY POWER
I had dinner with a good friend of mine at work and we had a great conversation about being intoxicated by pussy.
He shared a really great story about this girl that he was intoxicated by in his early 30s. Even after he found some really crazy things about her, he was still intoxicated by her pussy.
The sex, he said, was so amazing, that even to this day, he still remembers it like it was yesterday.
And that’s a problem. When you get so intoxicated by pussy, you tend to overlook so many other things about the woman. It happen to me with Melissa.
It seems to only happen when you’re younger, but then again, it can happen at any age, especially if you haven’t had good pussy in a long time.
So what happens is you get intoxicated. The sex is just so damn good that you’ll overlook some of the crazy warning signs that are glaring at you every single day.
Now look, everybody you meet comes with baggage—we all know that; there’s no perfect person out there at all.
Everybody’s got their issues, and everybody’s got their crap, everybody’s got their things, and their fears and their insecurities. It’s just a matter of if you can put up with someone else’s insecurities, fears, and their stuff.
But it’s funny, when you’re younger and you haven’t had good pussy in awhile, you tend to get intoxicated by it, and you overlook some really crazy things…like the fact that she may not be a good person.
So the next time you’re intoxicated by a woman, try to look a little bit harder, and make sure that the person you’re intoxicated by is everything that you think they are, and it’s not just great sex that’s clouding your judgment.
I used to be somebody that would be intoxicated by great sex. Now, I get intoxicated by a great person, and of course, great sex is #2.
So open your eyes a little bit more and make sure what you think you’re getting is exactly what you want, and make sure the person is exactly who you think they
He shared a really great story about this girl that he was intoxicated by in his early 30s. Even after he found some really crazy things about her, he was still intoxicated by her pussy.
The sex, he said, was so amazing, that even to this day, he still remembers it like it was yesterday.
And that’s a problem. When you get so intoxicated by pussy, you tend to overlook so many other things about the woman. It happen to me with Melissa.
It seems to only happen when you’re younger, but then again, it can happen at any age, especially if you haven’t had good pussy in a long time.
So what happens is you get intoxicated. The sex is just so damn good that you’ll overlook some of the crazy warning signs that are glaring at you every single day.
Now look, everybody you meet comes with baggage—we all know that; there’s no perfect person out there at all.
Everybody’s got their issues, and everybody’s got their crap, everybody’s got their things, and their fears and their insecurities. It’s just a matter of if you can put up with someone else’s insecurities, fears, and their stuff.
But it’s funny, when you’re younger and you haven’t had good pussy in awhile, you tend to get intoxicated by it, and you overlook some really crazy things…like the fact that she may not be a good person.
So the next time you’re intoxicated by a woman, try to look a little bit harder, and make sure that the person you’re intoxicated by is everything that you think they are, and it’s not just great sex that’s clouding your judgment.
I used to be somebody that would be intoxicated by great sex. Now, I get intoxicated by a great person, and of course, great sex is #2.
So open your eyes a little bit more and make sure what you think you’re getting is exactly what you want, and make sure the person is exactly who you think they
LOVE: BEING A HOPELESS ROMANTIC
Being a hopeless romantic is not easy. I never thought it would be. As our world keeps evolving and getting more modern by the click of a mouse we seem to be losing touch with what romance really is.
Growing up as a kid I loved getting lost in fairytales. I used to fantasize about one day meeting that special someone, and living happily ever after. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not a complete moron. I do have some sense left in me to know that fairytales aren’t real and that love rarely happens like it does in the movies. But then again, I also think, that if I still believe in love like that surely there has to be more people that do out there in this world. Or is there?
I’ve come across a few individuals that claim to be as hopelessly romanticized as I am, but when push comes to shove it turns out that only in theory are they prepared to live out those emotions. In practice it’s a completely different matter. I don’t understand what people are so afraid of?If I had given up or lost hope that one day I will find someone who’ll fulfill me in the way that I would like them to then I would have packed my bags a long time ago and settled on a desert island away from the perils of reality. But I haven’t. I’m still here.
I didn’t choose to be a romantic.So where did this stem from within me? Was it the lack of love and romance in my childhood that created this hunger? Or was it childhood defiance that made me go in the
opposite direction to the people around me?
All I know is that I had no choice. And I still don’t.
Try as I may I find it hard to live without love in my life. I yearn for it. I long for it. I need it!
But instead of waiting for someone to do something loving for me I started doing things for the people in my life. I’m one of those guys that will wake up in the middle of the night just to give my lover a kiss. I will leave little notes in pockets for them to find, sometime, one day. I will share everything I have. I will find out what makes them happy and try to multiply that by a hundred. I will write messages that later I’ll regret because I then realize how cheezy they sound – but feel right at the time. I will leave a flower at their doorstep for them to find when they come home. I will write crazy love letters that make no sense at all. I will shout my love from the highest mountain top. I will try and help make their dreams come true, even if there’s no logical way for me to do that. I will try. I will run through fire to comfort them when they’re sad. If I can’t, then I will cry with them. I will always be on their side, even if they’re wrong. I will try and make them laugh as much as I can. I will show them the world, if only so I can see it through their eyes. I will do anything I can to ensure their happiness. Or at least try to help them achieve it.
There’s no limit to what I am prepared to do, for someone I love. In the hope that maybe one day, someone would be prepared to do the same for me. Maybe these seem like small and insignificant things. But these things can make a world of difference.
That, to me, is romance. That to me is love. Maybe my view on love doesn’t coincide with yours. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not right.It’s a broad term that has many definitions. There’s no right or wrong in love.
The one thing I definitely do know about love is that it’s scary. Plunging in there’s not much else you can do but hope that someone’s there to catch you as you fall.Trust that they won’t break your heart once you let them roam free inside it and believe in an Ever After.
Hopeless. Romantic.
That’s me.
Growing up as a kid I loved getting lost in fairytales. I used to fantasize about one day meeting that special someone, and living happily ever after. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not a complete moron. I do have some sense left in me to know that fairytales aren’t real and that love rarely happens like it does in the movies. But then again, I also think, that if I still believe in love like that surely there has to be more people that do out there in this world. Or is there?
I’ve come across a few individuals that claim to be as hopelessly romanticized as I am, but when push comes to shove it turns out that only in theory are they prepared to live out those emotions. In practice it’s a completely different matter. I don’t understand what people are so afraid of?If I had given up or lost hope that one day I will find someone who’ll fulfill me in the way that I would like them to then I would have packed my bags a long time ago and settled on a desert island away from the perils of reality. But I haven’t. I’m still here.
I didn’t choose to be a romantic.So where did this stem from within me? Was it the lack of love and romance in my childhood that created this hunger? Or was it childhood defiance that made me go in the
opposite direction to the people around me?
All I know is that I had no choice. And I still don’t.
Try as I may I find it hard to live without love in my life. I yearn for it. I long for it. I need it!
But instead of waiting for someone to do something loving for me I started doing things for the people in my life. I’m one of those guys that will wake up in the middle of the night just to give my lover a kiss. I will leave little notes in pockets for them to find, sometime, one day. I will share everything I have. I will find out what makes them happy and try to multiply that by a hundred. I will write messages that later I’ll regret because I then realize how cheezy they sound – but feel right at the time. I will leave a flower at their doorstep for them to find when they come home. I will write crazy love letters that make no sense at all. I will shout my love from the highest mountain top. I will try and help make their dreams come true, even if there’s no logical way for me to do that. I will try. I will run through fire to comfort them when they’re sad. If I can’t, then I will cry with them. I will always be on their side, even if they’re wrong. I will try and make them laugh as much as I can. I will show them the world, if only so I can see it through their eyes. I will do anything I can to ensure their happiness. Or at least try to help them achieve it.
There’s no limit to what I am prepared to do, for someone I love. In the hope that maybe one day, someone would be prepared to do the same for me. Maybe these seem like small and insignificant things. But these things can make a world of difference.
That, to me, is romance. That to me is love. Maybe my view on love doesn’t coincide with yours. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not right.It’s a broad term that has many definitions. There’s no right or wrong in love.
The one thing I definitely do know about love is that it’s scary. Plunging in there’s not much else you can do but hope that someone’s there to catch you as you fall.Trust that they won’t break your heart once you let them roam free inside it and believe in an Ever After.
Hopeless. Romantic.
That’s me.
DEAR SOULMATE: ARE OUR PATH CROSSED
ARE OUR PATH CROSSED
Dear Soulmate,
Have we met yet? Are our paths crossed? Will they ever? Every day, I wonder if you are already close to me or if you are some non-being yet to exist in my bubble of knowledge.
I've been waiting for you for a long time. If you know me, you should show yourself soon, I am getting tired of waiting. Of course... If you really are my soulmate, and I believe you are, then I am just being silly and impatient.
Soulmate, maybe you haven't come out yet because you don't know me well enough. --Have you run away because you know me too well? I want to know all about you, and yet a part of me wonders if the mystery is
more romantic.
Is there only one of you out there, or do you have a twin brother or sister that you can introduce me to? If you know, please tell me, because I have been feeling a little lonely lately.
I saw the movie "You've got mail" the other day. The part where Meg Ryan was supposed to meet with Tom Hanks at a coffee shop, she has a flower as an indicator, a symbol, of who she is. Will you be holding a
rose too? In a coffee shop?
How will I know who you are from all the other people in the world?
Are you just like me, or are you my opposite and compliment in every way?
I thought I found you once. I really did. You were beautiful, and you smiled at me, and you said everything I wanted to hear. You made me laugh, and you made me feel beautiful, you made me feel so complete,
even though you were never mine.
It wasn't really you, though. It was just somebody with your mask on.
Dear Soulmate, are you happy right now? I hope you are, I would never want you to be sad or hurt, even if I haven't met you yet.
Dear Soulmate, whether you're my best friend, or somebody from the other side of the world, please let our meeting as soulmates be special. Please let it be wonderful. I know my eyes will fill with tears of happiness even if it's not a perfect moment, because when I find out who you are, I don't think that anything can dampen the relation I will feel.
Dear Soulmate, I know I will love you with all my heart, and I can't wait for us to fall for each other in a way that is not like falling at all but is more like flying above all others, being next to each other, holding each other, helping each other.
I can't wait.
Dear Soulmate,
Have we met yet? Are our paths crossed? Will they ever? Every day, I wonder if you are already close to me or if you are some non-being yet to exist in my bubble of knowledge.
I've been waiting for you for a long time. If you know me, you should show yourself soon, I am getting tired of waiting. Of course... If you really are my soulmate, and I believe you are, then I am just being silly and impatient.
Soulmate, maybe you haven't come out yet because you don't know me well enough. --Have you run away because you know me too well? I want to know all about you, and yet a part of me wonders if the mystery is
more romantic.
Is there only one of you out there, or do you have a twin brother or sister that you can introduce me to? If you know, please tell me, because I have been feeling a little lonely lately.
I saw the movie "You've got mail" the other day. The part where Meg Ryan was supposed to meet with Tom Hanks at a coffee shop, she has a flower as an indicator, a symbol, of who she is. Will you be holding a
rose too? In a coffee shop?
How will I know who you are from all the other people in the world?
Are you just like me, or are you my opposite and compliment in every way?
I thought I found you once. I really did. You were beautiful, and you smiled at me, and you said everything I wanted to hear. You made me laugh, and you made me feel beautiful, you made me feel so complete,
even though you were never mine.
It wasn't really you, though. It was just somebody with your mask on.
Dear Soulmate, are you happy right now? I hope you are, I would never want you to be sad or hurt, even if I haven't met you yet.
Dear Soulmate, whether you're my best friend, or somebody from the other side of the world, please let our meeting as soulmates be special. Please let it be wonderful. I know my eyes will fill with tears of happiness even if it's not a perfect moment, because when I find out who you are, I don't think that anything can dampen the relation I will feel.
Dear Soulmate, I know I will love you with all my heart, and I can't wait for us to fall for each other in a way that is not like falling at all but is more like flying above all others, being next to each other, holding each other, helping each other.
I can't wait.
DATING; LESSON LEARNED
I have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of Long Island. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving wife and family. Today, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, I convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me. Only there wasn't. So many people will be assessing their lives and relationships, wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Many will mistake contentment for boredom, forgetting to cherish the good things they have. I would urge those who are considering walking away from such riches to think again.
How different things would be for me now if only I didn't waste time with woman I knew weren't right for me even from the beginning...including my ex wife. My mom's words to me continue to haunt me."There's a lot to be said for someone who truly loves you...don't waste your time with someone who doesn't." I can truly say that only one person ever really loved me in my life....but I was young, stupid and didn't know what I had. Now I can only look back and admonish my selfish, younger self. I was convinced there would be
another, better Mrs Right waiting around the corner.
After my divorce...I struggled to pull myself back together and did a lot of soul-searching. I finally understood what my mom had mean. To those out there thinking of walking away from humdrum Relationships, I would say don't mistake contentment for unhappiness, as I did. It could be a choice you'll regret for the rest of your life.
Sometime..i feel like love has no meanings unless i find someone who loves me
How different things would be for me now if only I didn't waste time with woman I knew weren't right for me even from the beginning...including my ex wife. My mom's words to me continue to haunt me."There's a lot to be said for someone who truly loves you...don't waste your time with someone who doesn't." I can truly say that only one person ever really loved me in my life....but I was young, stupid and didn't know what I had. Now I can only look back and admonish my selfish, younger self. I was convinced there would be
another, better Mrs Right waiting around the corner.
After my divorce...I struggled to pull myself back together and did a lot of soul-searching. I finally understood what my mom had mean. To those out there thinking of walking away from humdrum Relationships, I would say don't mistake contentment for unhappiness, as I did. It could be a choice you'll regret for the rest of your life.
Sometime..i feel like love has no meanings unless i find someone who loves me
POETRY: TO DESCRIBE HER HEAVENLY EYES
Everyday I hope that this is the day that I will met you.
To the world you may just be somebody,
But to this somebody, you're the world.
You are truly one in a million,
Like finding a clam on the beach with a pearl.
I have wanted to tell you how I feel for you,
From the first moment we met.
But I was so scared of what you would do.
I didn't want to do something I'd regret.
But now I can't hold my feelings inside.
I want you to know how I feel.
I want you to know how I feel about you,
And let you know my feelings are real.
From the first moment I looked into your eyes
I instantly felt a crush.
And all I did was look in your eyes
And instantly my heart was touched.
I wanted to get to know you.
I wanted to know your heart,
So I just said Hi to you,
And I knew that something would start.
There was just something I couldn't explain.
I didn't know why you were the best.
I knew you were very enchanting and lovely,
Kind of like a Fairy Tale Princess.
But now all the mystery is gone,
And I finally know who you are.
And to me you are so very perfect.
You light up my sky like a star.
You are the sweetest person that I know.
Just thinking of you makes my day.
I look at your picture before I go to sleep,
And it takes all my nightmares away.
So I just hope you know that I care for you,
And my crush on you is real.
And I know that my feelings for you are true
Because it's the truest thing that I feel.
2
For you I will float one single rose upon the Sea
then ask of every Angel to attend to thee
To the end of the earth, for you, i would journey
no matter the distance that comes between you and me
Beside you is where i will always be
Forever and for all of Eternity
Never will you question, you will clearly see
How very special you are to me
I'd catch the only drop of lavender rain
within the palm of my hand
I would catch a bird, as it flies across the land
For me these are not just dreams
It's how i would show you what your love truly means
3
This is how it feels
to love but not love,
to speak and not be heard,
to propose but receive no answer.
This is how it feels
to live and die in one existence
and still walk the earth;
to have lungs compress and decompress
but bring forth no air to pump the blood.
This is how it feels
to have beauty brought within grasp
only to have no hands for its seizure;
to go to bed full of passion
and wake as the dried-out core of what used to be.
This is how it feels
to want what can't be had
and to refuse what should be taken;
to go from the brink of the final option
to stumbling upon a mound of new possibilities.
4
I love you to death we often say
when we know it's too hard to stay
When little stress gets in the way
we simply choose to run away
But why do we have to fall in love?
when we cannot keep our words
Why should our lips have to confess...
when we're weak to pass the test
So, we always find reasons to leave
when old feelings no longer appeal...
We simply led love down the drain
and reneged on all promises made
Sure, there's no romance without finance
(but true love transcends all barriers)
For better for worse, till death do us part...
now becomes for better to stay, for worse to go
5
For a while I've look to find someone like you
To find someone who loves me as much as you do
To find someone to change my skies from grey to blue
All my life I've searched for that sweet and complete girl
The perfect girl to share my world
When I look into your beautiful brown eyes
It's no wonder why I see my future in your eyes
You're like the girl I always dreamed of
And I believe I have truely fallen in love
So, there are a couple of things I need you to see
Because you're so very important to me
You mean the whole wide world to me
And you're everything I ever wanted a girl to be
So, I would love to enjoy my life with you
And tell you how much I do love you
And after it all where I hopefully aim
Is to live happily ever after and give you my...
Last Name
6
This heart once pregnant
with love songs and
beauty of wealth,
with rhythm of life and
paths of glory to come.
This heart is mindful
of love's lingering light and
spills of pride,
of threats of joy and
pious drops of eye's cheerful tears.
This heart provides
magnitude of meekness and
solemn stillness it holds,
of golden dreams that
fears have no power to drown.
This heart eyes read
your history of love
perished in bittersweet despair,
and finally become your
deep-reaching fountain of truth.
7
Cloaked in the rare essence of human desire,
I am the chemistry within the match,
which gives it this fire.
I am time and fear consumed into one,
I am the mere lining of both lust and anticipation.
More powerful than a typhoon, yet my winds roll with ease,
when crossing the waters it permits a soft breeze.
So you see, I am LOVE...all these things and more.
Now what are you waiting for?
8
Missing you
in the sweetest ways
Among the wild
flowers of abandon.
On a stretch
of fine golden sand,
alone
In the city bus,
next to you,
close
Sharing a glance
in a noisy train,
caring
Among the books,
sharing
Holding each other,
in happiness,
delight
Missing you,
in so many delightful ways
Missing you
in my presence
Your sweet breathe
on my ear
A gentle touch
in my hair
Among the roses,
in loving
Holding one another,
passionately
Among the star
studded bedclothes
Of a dreamy encounter
Missing you,
missing you
Endlessly
9
Life is not measured
nor pleasured by years without
tears or even days
without being in
a daze, but by those moments
of light with a bite.
10
It doesn't have to be physical...
it's a moments rush that touches your
heart and mind...reminding you that you are loved...
that you are being thought of with love...
Letting you know that you are never without them...
they are holding you in their heart...that they are always there
with you in spirit
...when they can not be there in body...
Have you ever felt a gentle breeze on the back of your neck...
when there is no wind blowing?
Or the slightest caress across your brow...
a scent that brings forth a face of one who loves you so...
Out of the corner of your eye...a shadow moves by...
when you look there is no one there...but, you feel
as if you were embraced
...a smile is on your face...why?
Do you hear a familiar voice call your name...
and you wake from a sleep? or you turn to look...
as though someone whispered in your ear...
you look around and there is something
that reminds you of the one you love...
you know their spirit was there...
Turning the radio on...you hear "Our" song
being played as if on que...the words warm your soul
and you know it's being dedicated just to you...will they hear it too?
...yes, because your love is
felt in their heart...that trust is there...
Nothing can surpass that physical touch...but, true love has a way
to keep you by each other's side when you can't always be together...
Love, dauntless and faithful, unconditional and with trust...
carries "Love's Touch"...
11
Am I really all that much different,
Or have I finally discovered my truth?
I have uncovered my soul's true blueprint,
Now, with time, will come the proof.
Why this late in my life did it happen?
Why not earlier, at 18, or maybe 23?
I have discovered what my life really means and
Need her to understand what we could be.
I love her and cannot live without her.
I try to fight this overwhelming feeling.
When she comes home from my birthplace,
My heart will again be sent reeling.
Of my incredible transformation,
I'm scared, excited, and bewildered.
I want to give the world to her,
From this I shall not be deterred.
Please, give me strength, give me guidance
To stop talking and to start taking action.
I feel like my life begins at this moment and
My past words were only a distraction.
She is the best thing for me.
I know I will be the best thing for her.
To love, honor, cherish, and uplift,
Together we couldn't be any happier.
If I have one wish that could be granted,
Only one and then nothing more,
It would be to get that one final chance
To walk though that once closed door.
I will solidify her love and her spirit.
Together we will walk throughout life.
I will protect her soul with my own.
This woman, I will know, is my wife.
I sit here and wait for her answer.
I try to find peace within my soul.
Please, set her free not to fear us together,
This is my only true selfless life goal.
12
You command a language of atonic measure
You give love a voice with expert passion
You transport emotion in a raw new light
You lend love a name, not given to trite
You allow me your beauty, and give gifts to my soul
You give me passage to a splendid view
You know how to make my life rich, without greed
My wings flutter in your presense, indeed
13
I search for words,
words to describe
the beauty in her angel-like face.
What words could I use
to describe her heavenly eyes,
or the way she rolls raisins
between her fingers
just before bringing them
to her soft pink lips?
Are there really such strong words
to describe her baby soft skin,
her golden blonde hair
or her voice that melts the heart?
There is only one way to describe her
and her many pleasures:
perfect.
To the world you may just be somebody,
But to this somebody, you're the world.
You are truly one in a million,
Like finding a clam on the beach with a pearl.
I have wanted to tell you how I feel for you,
From the first moment we met.
But I was so scared of what you would do.
I didn't want to do something I'd regret.
But now I can't hold my feelings inside.
I want you to know how I feel.
I want you to know how I feel about you,
And let you know my feelings are real.
From the first moment I looked into your eyes
I instantly felt a crush.
And all I did was look in your eyes
And instantly my heart was touched.
I wanted to get to know you.
I wanted to know your heart,
So I just said Hi to you,
And I knew that something would start.
There was just something I couldn't explain.
I didn't know why you were the best.
I knew you were very enchanting and lovely,
Kind of like a Fairy Tale Princess.
But now all the mystery is gone,
And I finally know who you are.
And to me you are so very perfect.
You light up my sky like a star.
You are the sweetest person that I know.
Just thinking of you makes my day.
I look at your picture before I go to sleep,
And it takes all my nightmares away.
So I just hope you know that I care for you,
And my crush on you is real.
And I know that my feelings for you are true
Because it's the truest thing that I feel.
2
For you I will float one single rose upon the Sea
then ask of every Angel to attend to thee
To the end of the earth, for you, i would journey
no matter the distance that comes between you and me
Beside you is where i will always be
Forever and for all of Eternity
Never will you question, you will clearly see
How very special you are to me
I'd catch the only drop of lavender rain
within the palm of my hand
I would catch a bird, as it flies across the land
For me these are not just dreams
It's how i would show you what your love truly means
3
This is how it feels
to love but not love,
to speak and not be heard,
to propose but receive no answer.
This is how it feels
to live and die in one existence
and still walk the earth;
to have lungs compress and decompress
but bring forth no air to pump the blood.
This is how it feels
to have beauty brought within grasp
only to have no hands for its seizure;
to go to bed full of passion
and wake as the dried-out core of what used to be.
This is how it feels
to want what can't be had
and to refuse what should be taken;
to go from the brink of the final option
to stumbling upon a mound of new possibilities.
4
I love you to death we often say
when we know it's too hard to stay
When little stress gets in the way
we simply choose to run away
But why do we have to fall in love?
when we cannot keep our words
Why should our lips have to confess...
when we're weak to pass the test
So, we always find reasons to leave
when old feelings no longer appeal...
We simply led love down the drain
and reneged on all promises made
Sure, there's no romance without finance
(but true love transcends all barriers)
For better for worse, till death do us part...
now becomes for better to stay, for worse to go
5
For a while I've look to find someone like you
To find someone who loves me as much as you do
To find someone to change my skies from grey to blue
All my life I've searched for that sweet and complete girl
The perfect girl to share my world
When I look into your beautiful brown eyes
It's no wonder why I see my future in your eyes
You're like the girl I always dreamed of
And I believe I have truely fallen in love
So, there are a couple of things I need you to see
Because you're so very important to me
You mean the whole wide world to me
And you're everything I ever wanted a girl to be
So, I would love to enjoy my life with you
And tell you how much I do love you
And after it all where I hopefully aim
Is to live happily ever after and give you my...
Last Name
6
This heart once pregnant
with love songs and
beauty of wealth,
with rhythm of life and
paths of glory to come.
This heart is mindful
of love's lingering light and
spills of pride,
of threats of joy and
pious drops of eye's cheerful tears.
This heart provides
magnitude of meekness and
solemn stillness it holds,
of golden dreams that
fears have no power to drown.
This heart eyes read
your history of love
perished in bittersweet despair,
and finally become your
deep-reaching fountain of truth.
7
Cloaked in the rare essence of human desire,
I am the chemistry within the match,
which gives it this fire.
I am time and fear consumed into one,
I am the mere lining of both lust and anticipation.
More powerful than a typhoon, yet my winds roll with ease,
when crossing the waters it permits a soft breeze.
So you see, I am LOVE...all these things and more.
Now what are you waiting for?
8
Missing you
in the sweetest ways
Among the wild
flowers of abandon.
On a stretch
of fine golden sand,
alone
In the city bus,
next to you,
close
Sharing a glance
in a noisy train,
caring
Among the books,
sharing
Holding each other,
in happiness,
delight
Missing you,
in so many delightful ways
Missing you
in my presence
Your sweet breathe
on my ear
A gentle touch
in my hair
Among the roses,
in loving
Holding one another,
passionately
Among the star
studded bedclothes
Of a dreamy encounter
Missing you,
missing you
Endlessly
9
Life is not measured
nor pleasured by years without
tears or even days
without being in
a daze, but by those moments
of light with a bite.
10
It doesn't have to be physical...
it's a moments rush that touches your
heart and mind...reminding you that you are loved...
that you are being thought of with love...
Letting you know that you are never without them...
they are holding you in their heart...that they are always there
with you in spirit
...when they can not be there in body...
Have you ever felt a gentle breeze on the back of your neck...
when there is no wind blowing?
Or the slightest caress across your brow...
a scent that brings forth a face of one who loves you so...
Out of the corner of your eye...a shadow moves by...
when you look there is no one there...but, you feel
as if you were embraced
...a smile is on your face...why?
Do you hear a familiar voice call your name...
and you wake from a sleep? or you turn to look...
as though someone whispered in your ear...
you look around and there is something
that reminds you of the one you love...
you know their spirit was there...
Turning the radio on...you hear "Our" song
being played as if on que...the words warm your soul
and you know it's being dedicated just to you...will they hear it too?
...yes, because your love is
felt in their heart...that trust is there...
Nothing can surpass that physical touch...but, true love has a way
to keep you by each other's side when you can't always be together...
Love, dauntless and faithful, unconditional and with trust...
carries "Love's Touch"...
11
Am I really all that much different,
Or have I finally discovered my truth?
I have uncovered my soul's true blueprint,
Now, with time, will come the proof.
Why this late in my life did it happen?
Why not earlier, at 18, or maybe 23?
I have discovered what my life really means and
Need her to understand what we could be.
I love her and cannot live without her.
I try to fight this overwhelming feeling.
When she comes home from my birthplace,
My heart will again be sent reeling.
Of my incredible transformation,
I'm scared, excited, and bewildered.
I want to give the world to her,
From this I shall not be deterred.
Please, give me strength, give me guidance
To stop talking and to start taking action.
I feel like my life begins at this moment and
My past words were only a distraction.
She is the best thing for me.
I know I will be the best thing for her.
To love, honor, cherish, and uplift,
Together we couldn't be any happier.
If I have one wish that could be granted,
Only one and then nothing more,
It would be to get that one final chance
To walk though that once closed door.
I will solidify her love and her spirit.
Together we will walk throughout life.
I will protect her soul with my own.
This woman, I will know, is my wife.
I sit here and wait for her answer.
I try to find peace within my soul.
Please, set her free not to fear us together,
This is my only true selfless life goal.
12
You command a language of atonic measure
You give love a voice with expert passion
You transport emotion in a raw new light
You lend love a name, not given to trite
You allow me your beauty, and give gifts to my soul
You give me passage to a splendid view
You know how to make my life rich, without greed
My wings flutter in your presense, indeed
13
I search for words,
words to describe
the beauty in her angel-like face.
What words could I use
to describe her heavenly eyes,
or the way she rolls raisins
between her fingers
just before bringing them
to her soft pink lips?
Are there really such strong words
to describe her baby soft skin,
her golden blonde hair
or her voice that melts the heart?
There is only one way to describe her
and her many pleasures:
perfect.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
LOVE:PICTURE THE BEST SEX YOU'RE EVER HAD
Picture the best sex you’ve ever had. What made it good? What made it so fantastic that you still talk about it for years and years afterward? What makes it that go to image in your head for when you’re with someone who doesn’t really know what they’re doing and you need that extra little bit of encouragement to get things going. For me, it’s something like the unbridled passion of “Last Tango in Paris” mixed with the kind of tragic love only illustrated in Victorian romance novels.
Having someone who knows what they’re doing in the bedroom is always fantastic, of course. We’ve all been with someone who isn’t so good with the bedroom dynamics; but, being psychically good at sex isn’t just enough. There is a psychology behind the sex: a desire, a burning need for your sexual partner, something that transcends the physical of the sexual act itself. Love: its love that makes sex truly rewarding, truly worth experiencing, and utterly, mind-blowingly fantastic.
I reflect on this fact considerably now that I’m single. I struggle often in my current dating life because I find it so difficult to just go out and have sex. I find myself nervous and self-conscious around them: afraid of exposing myself when I am at my most vulnerable. I still find myself slipping into analytical thoughts during the act of sex. “Does she like what I’m doing? I really don’t think she does. This isn’t as good as it was with my ex. What am I doing wrong?”
This thought is the one that I have most commonly when I am with a new partner. It’s a terrifying one. One that immediately kills the mood, makes my erection disappear, and forces me to throw my face into the pillow panting with the explanation that I am just too tired, too whatever comes to mind in that very second to continue. Why was the sex with my ex so good? It wasn’t just because she her body was amazing. It wasn’t just because she knew where all my buttons were and how to push them all at the same time. It was because I loved her and she loved me. In those moments when we were in the throes of passion and ecstasy, no two people had ever loved each other as much as we did; and no one ever would thereafter.
Love then was the key to my sexual success. Love was the reason why it never got old, it never got boring, and that I never wanted it to stop. I was expressing myself to my ex in a way that I did not and would not express myself to any other person. And love, or rather the lack of love, is why my sexual escapades after I have moved on have been so disappointing. There is no emotion behind my acts. There is of course a passion, of a sort. Lust. There is such a thing as a passionate lust. But that’s all it is. There is no wanting, no needing, no burning desire that over takes me. My loins are not on fire. They just sort of tingle.
It’s this lack of blazing loins, the ever present unexciting tingle, that has lead me to the conclusion that sex – look out folks – should wait. Immediately jumping into bed with someone isn’t going to do you any favors. In my case, it leads to me being disappointed, sad, and questioning my sexual prowess I do not want to think about my ex-girlfriend when I’m trying to bang some other girl. I want to be thinking about how the person I am with; how beautiful, wonderful, and sweet they are. I want to be thinking about how this sexual act is representative a truer emotion, a hope that this feelings will lead to something down the road. Yes. I want to have “hope sex.” Hope that this particular erotic phenomenon is going to endear me to my partner and my partner to me. Hope that this person finds me just a beautiful and amazing as I find them.
Truthfully, I tire of the carnal representations of sex and the culture of sexual empowerment through promiscuity. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you are smart. Yes, you can have anyone you want and should have anyone you want. But that does not mean that my desire for meaningful, yet equally has hot, sex need be devalued and looked down upon. I’m not asking a person to fall in love with me and marry me within a week’s time. What I am asking for is the chance to experience an individual as a whole person, to get to know them, experience all of them, so that I may be attracted to every piece of that person.
Waiting is the true key to sexual fulfillment. When I know a person, feel comfortable with that person, I can truly be sexually free with that person. Free from nervousness or self-doubt or depleting images of your ex-girlfriends. Let me get to know you; let me like you; let me experience you as a person. Only then can I truly experience another person sexually. And that’s what it’s all about. Daring to wax philosophical, sex is all about giveness and the giving of one individual to another. It is the highest form of givenness, wherein the sexual act constitutes a “gift”; a powerful gift. And it should be a meaningful one as well. Waiting for sex is not a bad thing. It is a gift.
Having someone who knows what they’re doing in the bedroom is always fantastic, of course. We’ve all been with someone who isn’t so good with the bedroom dynamics; but, being psychically good at sex isn’t just enough. There is a psychology behind the sex: a desire, a burning need for your sexual partner, something that transcends the physical of the sexual act itself. Love: its love that makes sex truly rewarding, truly worth experiencing, and utterly, mind-blowingly fantastic.
I reflect on this fact considerably now that I’m single. I struggle often in my current dating life because I find it so difficult to just go out and have sex. I find myself nervous and self-conscious around them: afraid of exposing myself when I am at my most vulnerable. I still find myself slipping into analytical thoughts during the act of sex. “Does she like what I’m doing? I really don’t think she does. This isn’t as good as it was with my ex. What am I doing wrong?”
This thought is the one that I have most commonly when I am with a new partner. It’s a terrifying one. One that immediately kills the mood, makes my erection disappear, and forces me to throw my face into the pillow panting with the explanation that I am just too tired, too whatever comes to mind in that very second to continue. Why was the sex with my ex so good? It wasn’t just because she her body was amazing. It wasn’t just because she knew where all my buttons were and how to push them all at the same time. It was because I loved her and she loved me. In those moments when we were in the throes of passion and ecstasy, no two people had ever loved each other as much as we did; and no one ever would thereafter.
Love then was the key to my sexual success. Love was the reason why it never got old, it never got boring, and that I never wanted it to stop. I was expressing myself to my ex in a way that I did not and would not express myself to any other person. And love, or rather the lack of love, is why my sexual escapades after I have moved on have been so disappointing. There is no emotion behind my acts. There is of course a passion, of a sort. Lust. There is such a thing as a passionate lust. But that’s all it is. There is no wanting, no needing, no burning desire that over takes me. My loins are not on fire. They just sort of tingle.
It’s this lack of blazing loins, the ever present unexciting tingle, that has lead me to the conclusion that sex – look out folks – should wait. Immediately jumping into bed with someone isn’t going to do you any favors. In my case, it leads to me being disappointed, sad, and questioning my sexual prowess I do not want to think about my ex-girlfriend when I’m trying to bang some other girl. I want to be thinking about how the person I am with; how beautiful, wonderful, and sweet they are. I want to be thinking about how this sexual act is representative a truer emotion, a hope that this feelings will lead to something down the road. Yes. I want to have “hope sex.” Hope that this particular erotic phenomenon is going to endear me to my partner and my partner to me. Hope that this person finds me just a beautiful and amazing as I find them.
Truthfully, I tire of the carnal representations of sex and the culture of sexual empowerment through promiscuity. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you are smart. Yes, you can have anyone you want and should have anyone you want. But that does not mean that my desire for meaningful, yet equally has hot, sex need be devalued and looked down upon. I’m not asking a person to fall in love with me and marry me within a week’s time. What I am asking for is the chance to experience an individual as a whole person, to get to know them, experience all of them, so that I may be attracted to every piece of that person.
Waiting is the true key to sexual fulfillment. When I know a person, feel comfortable with that person, I can truly be sexually free with that person. Free from nervousness or self-doubt or depleting images of your ex-girlfriends. Let me get to know you; let me like you; let me experience you as a person. Only then can I truly experience another person sexually. And that’s what it’s all about. Daring to wax philosophical, sex is all about giveness and the giving of one individual to another. It is the highest form of givenness, wherein the sexual act constitutes a “gift”; a powerful gift. And it should be a meaningful one as well. Waiting for sex is not a bad thing. It is a gift.
LOVE;CHEMISTRY AND WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU
Why don’t people feel attraction to someone who is good for them? Usually it is because of fear. Instead of feeling the fear that goes along with something that doesn’t fit the picture, or map, we have of ourselves and the world, we shut down. Shutting down is what we do when there is a risk of feeling fear. Instead of feeling fear, we feel nothing.
We don’t realize we are shutting ourselves down. It just feels like we are “not attracted” to, or have no “chemistry” with that person.
I’m not trying to say that you should be willing to get into a relationship with anyone. What I am saying is that when we are coming from a place of love instead of fear, it is easy to feel attracted to more and more people. As we become more and more aware of our emotions and what drives our emotions we have more choice.
When we are open-hearted, we have available to us a pool of an endless number of people to whom we are attracted. Then, instead of feeling like we are at the mercy of some mysterious thing called “chemistry,” that almost never happens, instead we can make a choice about the best person to be in a relationship with.
The solution to finding someone to love is not finding someone to whom you are “attracted.” The answer is to love yourself, and open your heart, and if you do you’ll find that you feel chemistry with the whole world.
We don’t realize we are shutting ourselves down. It just feels like we are “not attracted” to, or have no “chemistry” with that person.
I’m not trying to say that you should be willing to get into a relationship with anyone. What I am saying is that when we are coming from a place of love instead of fear, it is easy to feel attracted to more and more people. As we become more and more aware of our emotions and what drives our emotions we have more choice.
When we are open-hearted, we have available to us a pool of an endless number of people to whom we are attracted. Then, instead of feeling like we are at the mercy of some mysterious thing called “chemistry,” that almost never happens, instead we can make a choice about the best person to be in a relationship with.
The solution to finding someone to love is not finding someone to whom you are “attracted.” The answer is to love yourself, and open your heart, and if you do you’ll find that you feel chemistry with the whole world.
PERSONAL: I WANT SOMEONE TO TRANSFORMER 4 WITH.
Did you know that 99% of the woman here are adventure travelers? It seems dubious to me too, but let’s continue as if it’s true. The majority of woman on the site go on and on about all of the outdoor adventure activity they do, including mountain climbing, ziplining, white water rafting, bungee jumping, parasailing, sky diving, someone even talked about alligator wrestling. And of course they love traveling and frequent all these crazy places like Iceland and Belize and Egypt and Greece and the rainforests or whatever. They are outdoors all the time, playing every sport that was ever invented, including some you’ve never heard of (sled hockey?), and they work out 5+ times a week.
Come on.
I live in Long island less than 30 min away from city and less than 20 min away from the beach. These woman say they are ambitious and have pretty good jobs where they are making average salaries. How exactly are they ziplining regularly? And where? And how are they getting time off from work to travel all the time? And with what money? I don’t buy it.
But that’s not even what bothers me. The real kicker here is the type of guy they are all looking for. Now on my profile, I checked off the box saying that I want someone who wants kids and who’s single (… why I have to specify this troubles me). And I wrote out by hand that I am looking for an easy-going, honest, passionate woman. Are those the type of characteristics these woman are looking for? Not even close.
He has to be tall, handsome and adventurous and also love adventure sports like ziplining and whatever the hell, and he also has to love to travel. He has to be open to trying anything (I’m assuming this means sexual positions...just kidding ;-)) and be outgoing and extroverted and like to go out but also like to stay in. He has to be a great conversationalist, smart, witty, funny, and “not get embarrassed easily.” (Why are we specifying this? Again, troubled.) He also has to be ambitious, be smart and successful, be educated and have a great job, be family-oriented, be career-driven, want to have (and, unspoken, take care of) kids, knows how to take care of himself (I can only assume this means that he’s has a 6 pack), be outdoorsy, like to be outside all the time (these are apparently two different things), like to camp and hike, be “active” and work out frequently, did I mention tall and handsome?, like all different kinds of foods and be willing to try – AND LIKE, GODDAMNIT – any kind of exotic food, not be pessimistic or complain, be loyal and honest, not be self-conscious about anything (… you’re helping), know who she is and what she wants, and, my ultimate favorite, ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.
Wow This is a joke, right? Do you sincerely think you can find all of this in one person? Have you considered the fact that you are on this site because this is what you’re holding out for?! First of all, Do you want someone who does these adventure sports and plays sports too and works out every day? Huh? And how are you going to find someone who is career-driven and is family-oriented and is handsome who also has time to play sports as an adult and like hike around all the time and wrestle alligators? What? I do know guys who do that kind of stuff, but believe me most of them do not meet all these other criteria, including having the hot model appearance you desire.
But also, think hard – DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS? I don’t think you want this type of guy if he even exists, because then he’d be too intimidating and you’d feel like he was overshadowing you and better than you at the things you do, and lord knows that would be a problem.
So I offer this plea to the woman here. Refocus. Look for a guy who doesn’t mind that you (apparently) want to go off ziplining, but who might want to lay in the sunshine and read a book while you do. (To work on that tan you demand, obviously.) Or pick, say, two of the major things you’re looking for. Like, he has to be adventurous and handsome, but it’s okay if he’s a waitor You know? Be a little more realistic. I’m not saying let go of your dreams. But get a grip. Everyone is not Brad Pitt. (Not that you’d be into him, since he’s athletic and toned and probably doesn’t have time for parachuting with all those babies in tow.)
How about those pictures where it seem like every woman is holding a drink in her hand? Do they know what message that sent to guys? She must be either a party girl....or she easy or...she has a drinking problem. Listen I know everyone drink once in a while....but do you need show that when you are trying to find a guy to marry?
It’s this bad, and I haven’t even been on a date yet. Good lord. Clearly I’m going to be single forever.
When you read what most woman say they’re looking for in a mate, one of the first three things they’ll say is “sense of humor.” No doubt about it. It’s our dating mantra. “I just want someone who can make me laugh.” “Laughter’s all that really matters in the end, isn’t it?” “Looks fade, but sense of humor is forever.” Then how come I’ve never seen a guy say, “would you check out the jokes on that girl?”
90% of the women say they’re looking for someone who can make them laugh. Do they mean it? No idea. But I’ve been in a lot of bars with a lot of funny dudes, and ladies’ heads have not swiveled. However, if a guy walks in who looks like Johnny Depp, or even better, looks like he just got into a fight with Johnny Depp, there’d be swiveling all over the place. Like the desk chair convention was in town. (Are there desk chair conventions? Probably not. Needed it for the joke. Worth it? Probably not.)
Men, however, are no better. If a girl isn’t funny, or at least playful in her emails, I report no interest in her. But, truth be told, if she looks good in a tank top I’ll probably find a way to get interested, at least for a little while. Many of my friends say that finding a lady to joke with is a priority as well, yet I can count on one hand the ones they’ve dated that I’d trust to tell me a joke. “Knock knock. Who’s there? Long Island Iced Tea. Long Island Iced Tea who? What? No. Get me a Long Island Iced Tea. Also, do you have any gum?”
Never saw an US Weekly with Buddy Hackett on the cover. Why?
Not convinced that we’re all liars? How about this: if sense of humor was really such a big, if laughter was truly the great equivocator, then only the funniest people would date the funniest people. If you were hilarious, and all you truly wanted was hilarious, then you’d grab Kristen Wiig or Tina Fey and be done with it. Everyone would pursue the absolute highest level of humor they could obtain in a mate, so the uproarious would date the uproarious, the semi-uproarious would date the other semi’s, and there on down. But you don’t see that. Funny people date unfunny people all the time. It’s the hotties who only date other hotties. Relationships aren’t organized by laughs, they’re sorted, obviously, by looks. The most attractive date each other, as do the cutes, as do the weirdos. That’s life. And the funniest people, well, they go for the hotties too. Sense of humor never enters into things.
So why do we do it? Why do we say we want someone who can make us laugh, then chose someone who can make us hot?
Not funny.
There’s two explanations. Either we’re all shallow deceitful fucks (here’s looking at you, Johnny Depp), or there’s something more complex going on. My theory, shockingly, is the latter. I think that we’re not as a jaded as I’ve made us out to be. Deep down, we know the right match for us is someone who can make us giggle those dizzy little you-know-just-what-gets-me giggles. We know, in our hearts, that laughter is what we truly need in a partner, but we’re weak. We’re weak, horny little pigs, and we give in to the immediacy of our desires. Because sense of humor is not immediate. It doesn’t grab you the minute you lay eyes on someone, the way that smiles or tits or asses so reliably do. The prospect of a lifetime of laughter sounds good, amazing, even, but it can’t send that instant jolt through your body the way the right girl can when she smiles and twirls her hair. (Tough break, bald girls). The fact is, we’re idiots. Even though we know that humor is a lot more important than hair color (sorry again, baldies) to the point where we ourselves state it as our greatest priority, we still go after the most attractive person we can get our hands on. We’re schmucks, really. And in the end, predictably, sex sells. It’s true in politics, movies, and magazine covers – so why shouldn’t it be so when it comes to actual, well, sex?
Sadly, though, we don’t know this about ourselves. We say we want sense of humor, hook up based on looks, then feel disappointed when the shapely young girl with the winning smile is less interesting than the pint glass she’s drinking out of. (Although, admittedly, I do have a bit of a thing for pint glasses.) We break up with that chick, say we’re gonna do better next time, then make the exact same mistake over again. It’s the Transformer’s 3 Syndrome. No person in their right mind who saw Transformers 1 or 2 would think, “man, I’ve got to get me another two and a half hours of that shit!” But then the summer rolls around and we see the previews with the fancy robots, and the cars that turn into shooty things, and shooty things that turn back into spaceships, and we think “maybe this one will be better.” And then we go, and want to die. So the next time you spend a night with a boring beauty, just remind yourself that you just bought a ticket to see Transformers 3. For like the hundredth time. Then you’ll have a real walk of shame.
So what do we do? How the fuck should I know. I go out on dates with people I don’t know, you think I’ve got it all figured out? Probably, we should be honest with ourselves. We like funny, but we’re addicted to hot, and until we get over that this whole sense of humor business will continue to be a myth. But that’s not so bad, it’s just part of the process. And maybe then we tell the truth when someone asks us what we’re looking for in mate…
“I want someone to see Transformers 3 with.”
Come on.
I live in Long island less than 30 min away from city and less than 20 min away from the beach. These woman say they are ambitious and have pretty good jobs where they are making average salaries. How exactly are they ziplining regularly? And where? And how are they getting time off from work to travel all the time? And with what money? I don’t buy it.
But that’s not even what bothers me. The real kicker here is the type of guy they are all looking for. Now on my profile, I checked off the box saying that I want someone who wants kids and who’s single (… why I have to specify this troubles me). And I wrote out by hand that I am looking for an easy-going, honest, passionate woman. Are those the type of characteristics these woman are looking for? Not even close.
He has to be tall, handsome and adventurous and also love adventure sports like ziplining and whatever the hell, and he also has to love to travel. He has to be open to trying anything (I’m assuming this means sexual positions...just kidding ;-)) and be outgoing and extroverted and like to go out but also like to stay in. He has to be a great conversationalist, smart, witty, funny, and “not get embarrassed easily.” (Why are we specifying this? Again, troubled.) He also has to be ambitious, be smart and successful, be educated and have a great job, be family-oriented, be career-driven, want to have (and, unspoken, take care of) kids, knows how to take care of himself (I can only assume this means that he’s has a 6 pack), be outdoorsy, like to be outside all the time (these are apparently two different things), like to camp and hike, be “active” and work out frequently, did I mention tall and handsome?, like all different kinds of foods and be willing to try – AND LIKE, GODDAMNIT – any kind of exotic food, not be pessimistic or complain, be loyal and honest, not be self-conscious about anything (… you’re helping), know who she is and what she wants, and, my ultimate favorite, ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.
Wow This is a joke, right? Do you sincerely think you can find all of this in one person? Have you considered the fact that you are on this site because this is what you’re holding out for?! First of all, Do you want someone who does these adventure sports and plays sports too and works out every day? Huh? And how are you going to find someone who is career-driven and is family-oriented and is handsome who also has time to play sports as an adult and like hike around all the time and wrestle alligators? What? I do know guys who do that kind of stuff, but believe me most of them do not meet all these other criteria, including having the hot model appearance you desire.
But also, think hard – DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS? I don’t think you want this type of guy if he even exists, because then he’d be too intimidating and you’d feel like he was overshadowing you and better than you at the things you do, and lord knows that would be a problem.
So I offer this plea to the woman here. Refocus. Look for a guy who doesn’t mind that you (apparently) want to go off ziplining, but who might want to lay in the sunshine and read a book while you do. (To work on that tan you demand, obviously.) Or pick, say, two of the major things you’re looking for. Like, he has to be adventurous and handsome, but it’s okay if he’s a waitor You know? Be a little more realistic. I’m not saying let go of your dreams. But get a grip. Everyone is not Brad Pitt. (Not that you’d be into him, since he’s athletic and toned and probably doesn’t have time for parachuting with all those babies in tow.)
How about those pictures where it seem like every woman is holding a drink in her hand? Do they know what message that sent to guys? She must be either a party girl....or she easy or...she has a drinking problem. Listen I know everyone drink once in a while....but do you need show that when you are trying to find a guy to marry?
It’s this bad, and I haven’t even been on a date yet. Good lord. Clearly I’m going to be single forever.
When you read what most woman say they’re looking for in a mate, one of the first three things they’ll say is “sense of humor.” No doubt about it. It’s our dating mantra. “I just want someone who can make me laugh.” “Laughter’s all that really matters in the end, isn’t it?” “Looks fade, but sense of humor is forever.” Then how come I’ve never seen a guy say, “would you check out the jokes on that girl?”
90% of the women say they’re looking for someone who can make them laugh. Do they mean it? No idea. But I’ve been in a lot of bars with a lot of funny dudes, and ladies’ heads have not swiveled. However, if a guy walks in who looks like Johnny Depp, or even better, looks like he just got into a fight with Johnny Depp, there’d be swiveling all over the place. Like the desk chair convention was in town. (Are there desk chair conventions? Probably not. Needed it for the joke. Worth it? Probably not.)
Men, however, are no better. If a girl isn’t funny, or at least playful in her emails, I report no interest in her. But, truth be told, if she looks good in a tank top I’ll probably find a way to get interested, at least for a little while. Many of my friends say that finding a lady to joke with is a priority as well, yet I can count on one hand the ones they’ve dated that I’d trust to tell me a joke. “Knock knock. Who’s there? Long Island Iced Tea. Long Island Iced Tea who? What? No. Get me a Long Island Iced Tea. Also, do you have any gum?”
Never saw an US Weekly with Buddy Hackett on the cover. Why?
Not convinced that we’re all liars? How about this: if sense of humor was really such a big, if laughter was truly the great equivocator, then only the funniest people would date the funniest people. If you were hilarious, and all you truly wanted was hilarious, then you’d grab Kristen Wiig or Tina Fey and be done with it. Everyone would pursue the absolute highest level of humor they could obtain in a mate, so the uproarious would date the uproarious, the semi-uproarious would date the other semi’s, and there on down. But you don’t see that. Funny people date unfunny people all the time. It’s the hotties who only date other hotties. Relationships aren’t organized by laughs, they’re sorted, obviously, by looks. The most attractive date each other, as do the cutes, as do the weirdos. That’s life. And the funniest people, well, they go for the hotties too. Sense of humor never enters into things.
So why do we do it? Why do we say we want someone who can make us laugh, then chose someone who can make us hot?
Not funny.
There’s two explanations. Either we’re all shallow deceitful fucks (here’s looking at you, Johnny Depp), or there’s something more complex going on. My theory, shockingly, is the latter. I think that we’re not as a jaded as I’ve made us out to be. Deep down, we know the right match for us is someone who can make us giggle those dizzy little you-know-just-what-gets-me giggles. We know, in our hearts, that laughter is what we truly need in a partner, but we’re weak. We’re weak, horny little pigs, and we give in to the immediacy of our desires. Because sense of humor is not immediate. It doesn’t grab you the minute you lay eyes on someone, the way that smiles or tits or asses so reliably do. The prospect of a lifetime of laughter sounds good, amazing, even, but it can’t send that instant jolt through your body the way the right girl can when she smiles and twirls her hair. (Tough break, bald girls). The fact is, we’re idiots. Even though we know that humor is a lot more important than hair color (sorry again, baldies) to the point where we ourselves state it as our greatest priority, we still go after the most attractive person we can get our hands on. We’re schmucks, really. And in the end, predictably, sex sells. It’s true in politics, movies, and magazine covers – so why shouldn’t it be so when it comes to actual, well, sex?
Sadly, though, we don’t know this about ourselves. We say we want sense of humor, hook up based on looks, then feel disappointed when the shapely young girl with the winning smile is less interesting than the pint glass she’s drinking out of. (Although, admittedly, I do have a bit of a thing for pint glasses.) We break up with that chick, say we’re gonna do better next time, then make the exact same mistake over again. It’s the Transformer’s 3 Syndrome. No person in their right mind who saw Transformers 1 or 2 would think, “man, I’ve got to get me another two and a half hours of that shit!” But then the summer rolls around and we see the previews with the fancy robots, and the cars that turn into shooty things, and shooty things that turn back into spaceships, and we think “maybe this one will be better.” And then we go, and want to die. So the next time you spend a night with a boring beauty, just remind yourself that you just bought a ticket to see Transformers 3. For like the hundredth time. Then you’ll have a real walk of shame.
So what do we do? How the fuck should I know. I go out on dates with people I don’t know, you think I’ve got it all figured out? Probably, we should be honest with ourselves. We like funny, but we’re addicted to hot, and until we get over that this whole sense of humor business will continue to be a myth. But that’s not so bad, it’s just part of the process. And maybe then we tell the truth when someone asks us what we’re looking for in mate…
“I want someone to see Transformers 3 with.”
POETRY: LOOKING FOR YOUR FACE BY RUMI
I would like to share with you a little romantic love poem I discovered some years ago. I sort of like it, because in my opinion it differs a little from other poems. You literally feel the electrifying intensity. It moves you to depths you never knew about.
Of course, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder they say, but this poem conveys a certain truth we all know, or hope, exists – and we all long to have it in our lives.
It gives us a short glance how life should be – sweet and passionate.To me, personally, the following poem is the most romantic love poem of all.
Looking For Your Face
From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it
Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for
Today I have found you
and those who laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did
I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you
with a hundred eyes
My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold
I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine
Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow
My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you
Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
for me
the earth and sky
My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer
Beautiful, isn’t it?
This is Rumi “Looking for your face”
Now, after reading the poem above, I want you to ask yourself the following:
“Have I ever felt in such a way? Do I have a fundamental understanding of what this poem is about? What is my concept of feeling love?” I want you to let this little piece of art elevate you to a new level of passion and sensibility
I’m sharing this with you for a couple of reason reasons:
to delight you with some insightful piece of art
to elevate you and your partner to a new level of understanding of true love
to remind you that the love in which you believed once, still exists
Of course, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder they say, but this poem conveys a certain truth we all know, or hope, exists – and we all long to have it in our lives.
It gives us a short glance how life should be – sweet and passionate.To me, personally, the following poem is the most romantic love poem of all.
Looking For Your Face
From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it
Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for
Today I have found you
and those who laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did
I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you
with a hundred eyes
My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold
I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine
Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow
My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you
Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
for me
the earth and sky
My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer
Beautiful, isn’t it?
This is Rumi “Looking for your face”
Now, after reading the poem above, I want you to ask yourself the following:
“Have I ever felt in such a way? Do I have a fundamental understanding of what this poem is about? What is my concept of feeling love?” I want you to let this little piece of art elevate you to a new level of passion and sensibility
I’m sharing this with you for a couple of reason reasons:
to delight you with some insightful piece of art
to elevate you and your partner to a new level of understanding of true love
to remind you that the love in which you believed once, still exists
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