POETRY : WITH ALL MY SOUL

I visit you in the night
in your dreams, in your heart
and whisper to you of a love
that we both know is right.

Carrying you up through the clouds
and settling among the stars,
you and I know where we are.
Here is heaven as our playground;
the angels stand guard over us
as we love our lives away.

Sun never sets, skies always blue!
I then bring you back down,
put you to rest in your bed
as you go off into another dream.

I quietly leave like smoke
through the open window
just to enter again
and start the dream over...



PART II

There are so many things I want to say
Things like, I love you more and more
But the only thing that comes out is
Tu eres mi amor

You have beautiful hazel eyes
Unto your soul they're a door
So I can speak to your heart and say
Tu eres mi amor

You are so sweet
Even unto the core
Like a honeycomb
Tu eres mi amor



PART III

Sometimes life doesn?t go quite as we would have wished,
And many of our goals are less than accomplished.
But we must keep out heads held high and just believe.
Just when I thought no one cared, you were there for me.

Yet, we have never met, I have yet to see your face.
I?m sure your eyes do sparkle and your features full of grace.
I often dream of the day I come in contact with you,
It will be like a feeling that never before I knew.

The first time I see your face, there is no mistake.
I feel so alive I tingle all over, my senses come awake.
I become so overwhelmed I can feel the tears building up.
I hug you tightly and sense your joy just as much.

This embrace lasts but a few seconds, but forever in my mind.
We talk a while, I come to know you're one of a kind.
The longer I spend with you, the clearer it becomes,
You?re the one I've always wanted, you are the one.

Then comes the dreaded time when we must part.
You come empty-handed, but you leave with my heart.
We both grew silent, at the time we should say goodbye.
Our bodies come closer together, your lips touch mine.

I feel as though I've come to another world.
My life has taken meaning from this pretty young girl.
My voice then shudders as I stutter out goodnight.
I just stand there watching until you're out of sight.

I sit down and just wonder if all this could be real.
Is this girl an angel? Does she feel the way I feel??
If she does, then this thing we have will always be.
In this one day I have fallen in love, as anyone can see


PART IV

i want you to know i'm forever yours
forever in your heart
until the end we shall be
i swear you this, eternally

i want you to know you are forever mine
forever in my heart
no love can be stronger
and no love can last longer





PART V

As the sun peacefully sleeps
And the moon up high shines,
I write this poem
And make these rhymes...
Trying to find the way
To tell you a few things
Like the happiness and joy
That your life brings...
The feeling I found
When I found you
The words you say
The things you do...
Sometimes I wish I was a bird
To fly all the way there
and softly whisper in your ear
How much I really care...
The moon is no longer shining
And the sun is awaking
With you inside my heart
I lie here thinking,
If you'd still be here with me
As I reach out to hold you
If you'd still call out my name
When there's nothing left to do...
To the heavens above
I ask sincerely
With all my soul
I pray honestly
That you'll always stay here
That you never have to go
That you truly believe me
When I say I love you so...

WHOEVER YOU ARE READING THIS

Whoever you are reading this, i do. i love you. “Always remember this: somewhere, someone is happy…simply because you exist.” You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you. I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you. I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are. You should be happy. You are gorgeous. I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means? You are alive. Everything

POETRY: I LOVE

Every time you smile, you blow my sadness away!
Every time your hands caress me, my body trembles!
Every time you whisper my name, I fly away!
Every time you breath, you set free the passion inside of me!

You're like the wind that drags and leaves
You're the melody that sings inside of me every moment of my life!
You're the oxygen that I breath during my wildest dreams!
You're everything that I hoped to meet!

But when you're sad...
I want to be there to blow your sadness away!
When you cry...
I want to be the tears that grow in your eyes!
When you have a nightmare....
I want to be there to hug you during the night!
When you feel frightened...
I want to be at your side to fight against your fears!

And all this because I love you!





I am not whole
but only half of one,
the other lies in her bed
waiting for me

I am not whole
but only a shadow,
her kisses bring me
fully to life

I am not whole
but only a song,
her heart contains the ears
to hear me truly

I am not whole
but only a bright dream,
in her sleep I always
come back to her

I am not whole
but wholly in love,
my other half is so in love
with me



Neither the mountains nor the valley knows...
nor...
the serene, silent lake that flows...
nor...
the cloudless, clear blue sky,
can make me behold the scene
more than the 'one' that catches my eye..

Even the sunlight appears so dim...
for all that shines out is but just, 'her"
beauty of nature can never be held
in eyes or heart if her love is not felt

I love her more than she would ever know
one look in my eyes... enough to show
the beauty of her soul lies within
it's just her... her... and only her



...Sweet memories sometimes conflict
In our minds when experiences resemble one another
But so vivid is the night when two hearts clicked
And were ordained by the astral angels that assembled.

The night was mundane
Except that the silver moon was absent
But the countless stars winessed the mandate
Along with the women who roast corn by the roadside.

Just on a routinely mooching
Even thinking that we knew love
Palms fused before the envious munchers
God! The spell fell over us and our heads were lost.

Our bodies felt so weak
And we lost knowledge of our own fingers
The magic union vision now falls upon at work
And since my love for thee, remains wonderous.





Just how long can this path be?
Life without you, this journey alone, slowly dissolving me.
My  distressed face looks to the left,
and then sadly stares to my right,
but still your presence, your soft touch,
lost in mine eyes sight.
My tears fall, as my only companion,
as you were my love's first start.
Separation releasing love's purest desire of my heart.
And where each teardrop softly falls onto the ground,
a beautiful flower can now be found.
Each tear in love throughout these lonely, lonely days,
is falling from my tender heart like sprinkling drops of rain.
One flower then turns into two and as the days continue on,
this path I travel is now becoming a garden of you.
And though I feel O so sad,
each flower represents such a sweet and special memory of you
I have and have had.
Truth is, now my heart and spirit are comforted the most,
when I lie down in memory's garden of you,
embracing each special memory ever so close,
because my dearest love I will always love you the most.




When Aphrodite and Venus look down from above,
They see a Grand creature ,the girl that I love.
Your eyes are like Diamonds, yet blue and so deep,
Your lips red like rubies, and wine that is sweet.

Your caress has a Magic, that makes my heart soar
You are a perfection; even Gods do adore.
Your soft kisses so gentle, most truly divine.
It leaves on my lips, a taste sweeter than wine.

When I look in your eyes, I see to your soul,
A beauty so rare, a delight to behold.
A heart which is pure, holding much love
You are a true angel, a gift from above.

God answered my prayers when you he did make,
I offer my heart for you to please take,
And pray that my life can be spent loving you,
I offer a love, both pure and most true.

Please say to me darling, our lives we can share,
Our love is forever, with each other to care.
Our hearts beat as one, and our souls shall unite
A love that is perfect, a feeling so right.

When death makes us part, In heaven I?ll wait
Till you do arrive at God?s pearly gate.
Then when you do join me, we just begin
To share our true love, a love without end.






When that special someone, comes into your life

Shaded memories of loneliness come to pass
Gone are the tears,
Grey skies and fears
of being all alone.

Love and sunshine are here at last.





Lust filled eyes,
That hypnotize!

Sweetest taste,
That your lips create!

Body warmth that's so divine,
I want us to be together till the end of time!

And when the day of commitment appears,
Then there shall be no more tears.



A gentle Kiss, the slightest touch,
A fleeting glance, a look of lust,

A surge of passion, a warm embrace,
A flickering candle, a lighted face,

A heartfelt laugh, a melting smile,
A quiet word, a heart gone wild,

The little gestures, the smallest things,
My love for you, all these bring,

Came into my life, was all you did,
A world much brighter, a life more lived,

A feeling content, a heart at peace,
Of chains break free, a love released,

A thankful line, a grateful word,
To let you know, love's been heard



Love is like wine, like sunshine
Just kiss me one time and you will find out
That whole world is love line.

When the love thunderstorm consumes our hearts
And your body becomes just a small piece of ice in my hands
Nothing else will exist except us
And our endless happiness.

Fascinated by your love, my heart is going to knock
In the rhythm of bursting fire
To join with yours it will burn with desire.

When our hearts become one on the moonlight
The pieces of ecstasy and extreme love will warm us forever
And nothing will be able to spoil
The moments we spent together.






You sometimes ask why
Why I know we will make it
Here is one reason
One night while you were sleeping
I awoke and lay watching
And in an instant before my eyes
Your beauty took my breath away...

I see your beauty every day
But something, this time
Seemed to touch my soul
A feeling like never before
It was as if I saw an angel
And everything was clear
How blessed my life was
To be able to share the start
Of a new day with you...

As I watched you sleep
I could feel it in my heart
This is what life was meant to be
Together we could handle anything
I knew then that if you could make
Me feel this way while you slept
Without even saying a word
Your voice would move me
To move mountains if you ask...

People say they've seen angels
I thought how blessed these people are
Then one night I saw an angel
And she woke up next to me....

SPIRITUAL/ LOVE: DESTINY'S CHOICE

I can’t control my destiny, I trust my soul, and my only goal is just to be. There’s only now, there’s only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.

People with rational attitude tend to believe that they can govern their lives, that they have a choice to change their ways. They may be right.

But I believe that the universe is merely an entertainment show, for which the climax has already been planned. The show is conceived by GOD for his own entertainment. He appointed Destiny as the 'DIRECTOR' of the show and like an ideal 'PRODUCER' does not interfere in the affairs of Destiny. Now Destiny has planned things in a different way. It does not want its characters (i.e. US) to act. It expects them to be natural and therefore it decided to inform us on the spur of the moment about what to do and not give us the details of our role before-hand. That is why no one can say what they will become or what they will do in future. We can't predict anything for ourselves, can we?

So this Destiny, which governs our life, decides to bring together two people living their separate lives at different places totally unprepared to meet each other. None of the two people, had thought till the day before they finally met each other, that they would meet someone with whom they would be bound for a long, long time. But they met. Destiny chooses a less frequented, pathetically developed chat site as a platform to arrange the meeting.

Two complete strangers ended up falling in love with each other. One thing they had in common amongst them was the feeling of selflessness and concern for the comfort of the other. Strangers, just a couple of years before and today bound together with a bond that is as strong as any blood-relation. Was it planned by them, I guess not.

Two lives changed forever. Two people going through phases of joys and sorrows of their togetherness, going out of the way to meet each other, doing all they can, to hold on to each other. Two people, who were strangers just a couple of years ago.

So the two meet each other. They start of, pretending to be someone else. Their objective was to conceal their true self and have fun. Fun, probably that's what they had in mind at that time. But the fun continues beyond its expected time frame. Destiny had sown the seeds of love in their hearts. Fun-chat turned into a more focused information-seeking conversation, as a decision was to be made. It was no longer an out-of-mind-out-of-sight experience. Thoughts lingered even long after the conversation was over. There was a desire to have more of the time of togetherness. They migrated from 'internet chat' to 'telephonic conversation' and finally to 'face-to-face interaction'. But the decision was already made, what was left was for the both of them to come to terms with the Destiny's WILL.

Finally, one takes the initiative, and breaks the ice. In spite of the initial holding-back decisions and skeptical thoughts they make the decision - one that was already made for them. And two chat pals became Lovers. A story every one would love to be a part of, but a very few destined to be.

SPIRITUAL/ LOVE/ DATING: THE URGE FOR ONENESS

It is one of the urges of our nature to reconnect with Source, with Oneness. The closest we can identify this urge as in daily life is the complete connection with another human being.  To be able to connect with another human being at this level, both parties have to have a very similar vibrational signature.  When we meet another human being with whom we have a similar vibrational signature, we resonate with them. This often is called finding our twin soul, soul mate of twin flame.

 It just so happens that when we do find someone like that we stop looking, and therefore the belief that there can only be one soul mate on Earth was conceived.  But, fortunately, there are many other people on Earth with whom we can resonate at a vibrational level. And it so happens that if we change signatures through our soul journey work, if our soulmate doesn't do it too, we will eventually become dissatisfied and move on.  This doesn't mean that our soul mate was not the "true one". It just means they are no longer vibrationally similar to the level we need for the connection.


Once you enter Oneness, and make it the center of your attention, the urge to connect with another human being at this level passes.  This results in the ability to achieve just that, to find and connect, or reconnect, with a soul mate in total freedom and with no expectations or ego getting in the way.

DATING/ LOVE/ SEX: SEX LEADS US HOME

Being intimate is to be close... to be sharing in a deep and meaningful understanding. Yet, how can one achieve this close... deep.... meaningful... understanding of another until they first have this understanding... and closeness... and tenderness... and lovingness... with themselves?

In your world it is often times spoke of as the giving of one's self to another. Yet how can one give... what one knows not? And if one knows not who they are, or what they are, could they truly give that to another... or share that with another... or even truly understand another... until they first achieve this with themselves?

The design... and division into male and female forms... was to make the access to these connections a most joyful experience. For in truth it is.

The act of connecting, and experiencing the connection with another is truly a most joyous and pleasurable experience. And yet, although this was the design... It is surrounded with much guilt... much shame... and oft times brings sorrow and pain instead of the joy it was meant to. Yet, if intimacy was truly understood, with the Self first, and then the sharing with another, this act could bring forth much joy and pleasure instead of guilt, shame, and pain. And in that joy of joining with another, can be reached the joining to All That Is. This then would be using the physical intimacy wisely on the spiritual path.

If sexual intimacy can help lead us home... if we have a partner... and we know Self... what if there is no partner, or no other? There are a lot of people who live alone today. The intimate experiencing of this connection was meant to be quite pleasurable and bring much joy when chose to be experienced in the physical.  There are many, who for many different reasons, choose aloneness - as opposed to relationships. Intimacy is something that is inborn in us... for us to seek... and we seek it in many ways... and it can be done through sexual relationships, as well as, many other types of relationships... because intimacy covers a lot of territory. Isn't it like love then? We all seek love.

Very much so. Look to the newborn babe. There is the desire to be touched, to touch, to be close, to feel the warmth of another. This then is natural for the human being. Sex, as you look upon it, is only one way to express this desire for closeness, to touch, to be touched, to experience the warmth of another. But in many ways this particular area, which involve particular parts of the body, has been altered due to that which has been "added to".

"[When] sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: YOU SLIP INTO MY DREAMS

Dear Future Love,

You make my head feel like a busy, New York City street the second your name lights up on my cell phone.

It doesn't happen often, and it hadn't happened for a year and a half until recently, but when it does i don't know how to feel.

You were my first love, and first loves are hard to forget. I truly believe that the first person you fall in love with will always have a piece of your heart. It's never whole again- no matter how much you move on, how many more people you fall in love with, or how much you give to the next person- there's something special about the first time you give your heart away. Or maybe it's because your first love usually ends up in your first real heartbreak and you never quite get all of the pieces back.

I don't know what kept me with you for all of those years. I was young, naive, and immature i guess. But i loved you. Oh man, did I love you. I think i would have fought to be with you until i couldn't go on. I would have been content being with you and only you forever and ever. But you didn't feel the same. And to fight any longer would be foolish. You gave up on me not once, but twice, and it broke me down more and more. You treated me terrible in those last few months, as if I were a stranger you never even cared about. You left me a ghost. You left me broken. You left me.

It took so long for me to get back on my own two feet and finally feel anything again. And as everyone would tell me, time did heal. But no one ever really listens to that phrase...time heals. But healing doesn't make it go away, it just makes it bearable. It's like a scar. There's the initial wound and it hurts like hell, almost to the point where you think you'd rather just be dead at this point, and then slowly but surely your cut closes up and then there is the scab. You pick at it a few times and it hurts all over again. And eventually you have a scar, and it fades and fades, but it's never gone. There's always something to remind you.

And then i met her, She showed me what it was like to truly be loved and she gave me everything you never even thought to give. Everything that hurt finally went away with a flash of her smile and with the touch of her hand I felt like I had found my real forever. A month into the relationship I could see myself with her fifty years down the road. I had never loved someone this way before, not even you. Months in though, little fights started poisoning our relationship but we worked at them. I still love her with my whole heart and i still fall asleep next to her but every now and then you slip into my dreams, out of nowhere, just like in real life and in my dreams I miss you.

JOURNAL: MY EX- STRANGER

Have you ever met someone who can light up your whole day? Someone who suddenly appears out of nowhere but made you smile every time you see each other? Maybe you met that person in your town, at work, at the store or through a friend. But you find out that they’re not from here. They live far away, and in a few days they are going back home. The last day before leaving, you decide to meet up for a little while. But you missed one other, so you have to go back home with an empty heart and a question constantly ringing in your head. Will you ever meet again? You have not a name, a phone number or Facebook. What are the odds that you will ever meet again? Very very minimal.

So you can imagine my surprise when she appeared around the corner, just like she used to. With smiling lips and sparkling eyes. She said she couldn’t leave without knowing my name. That she had been driving for hours to find me. We said that we would see each other tomorrow again. She seemed happy about that, and I can’t wait. She is so beautiful. My ex-stranger.

THOUGHTS: TREAT LIKE YOUR TIME LIKE YOU'RE ON A DIET

As the 80/20 rule reminds us, our time is best spent on the few things that have the most impact on our lives.

At work, this might mean focusing on the tasks that you are best at and only you can handle, delegating the rest (you can prioritize your email according to your wheelhouse as well).

At home, embrace messy organization (e.g., forget about organizing the silverware drawer) in favor of more life-enhancing activities: cooking healthy meals, exercising, spending time with your family, etc.

Another example: reading or watching the news may be a waste of your time, unless your work requires it. But even then, you can make better use of your time by reading only the news relevant to you, e.g., by filtering your RSS feeds.

You can and should prioritize what you eat, read, watch, work on, etc. according to how positive an impact it has on your life. One way to prioritize is to treat your time like you're on a diet: Make a list of the five main goals you want to focus on for the year, and spend 95% of your time on tasks that contribute to them.

Quantity: To take this a step further, delegate your time according to how many ways you benefit from the activity or how many different areas of your life it affects. For example, scrubbing the floors gives you a cleaner floor and a healthier household perhaps, but it's not very enjoyable and there aren't that many other benefits you can reap from it. Let's say this task only has one reward.

Reading, on the other hand, has the potential to benefit you in several ways. One, it's enjoyable and relaxing. If you read a book that also stimulates your mind and teaches you something—as opposed to a book that just whiles away the time—that's another benefit. Even better, if what you learn from the book helps you make money in some way (e.g., enhances your profession) or save time and make you more productive, then it's a long-lasting benefit. That's three possible different ways one activity can reward you.

Another example might be taking cooking classes with a friend or your partner: You spend quality time with people you love, learn new skills, and probably end up saving money and eating healthier by cooking more at home.

Blogging is one last example I'll offer: If you enjoy writing, you're doing something you love. Writing about a topic regularly also increases your knowledge and expertise. Your blog could help you earn some spare change through advertising or affiliate links. And, finally, you can use your blog to build a valuable network, make new friends, and also possibly protect yourself against unemployment.

Spending more time where it matters most may seem painfully obvious, but it's easy to forget and fritter away your time on things like running errands or watching silly YouTube videos instead of on the activities that enhance multiple areas of your life.

LOVE/DATING: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU FOUND THE ONE?

How does a man know would not meet someone else that he liked better than the woman he is with? quite simple:

GOD LED ME TO THIS WOMAN. THE SEARCH WAS OVER. A MAN COULD SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE. THIS IS WHERE FAITH AND FAITHFULNESS COME IN.

“When does one say o.k, o.k. – this one? They ask. Maturity is the acceptance of limitations. Every choice made in life rules out a thousand other possibilities.

LOVE IN THE LAST ANALYSIS, IS A CHOICE. YOU MARRY HER BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER. THEN, FROM THE WEDDING DAY FORWARD, YOU LEARN TO LOVE HER BECAUSE YOU MARRIED HER. CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT CHANGE THE OBLIGATION TO FULFILL THE SOLEMN VOW.

Imagine when you are choosing from a lot of food to eat, and at that time of choosing, you really don’t know what type of food you wanted to eat. You just know that you are hungry, and that you wanted to eat. You could choose anything just to satisfy your hunger. But later on when you had your fill, you realized that you did not really enjoy your food that much, except that it only fed your hunger. What if you waited on someone who knows you so well, and then that someone presented you the kind of food that totally satisfies your appetite? What a blissful and wonderful meal it would have been!


When you’re just fresh out of college, you’re so full of ambitions, and you just got this in you that you’ve got what it takes to succeed. The highest ideal that society would tell you is to become wealthy with what you do. Although you have this certain hint of what you really want to do, you’d exchange it with the hype of the moment. Everyone’s looking for that job that could give them the cash they need to buy their materialistic fantasies. Of course, the greatest necessity at this stage is money! Just imagining your fantasies with what money can do in your life gives you butterflies in the stomach. And you’d get your head stuffed with thoughts: ‘When I have the money I need, I buy this and that… I’d do this and that…’ It’s all about money and success.

And then you’d start searching for companies that would fit your standards. Of course you would hunt for those that can give you the highest pay possible. If you’re someone with high qualifications, stable and good-paying companies would come under the mercy of your preference. You’d get to enjoy the great opportunity of choosing. But if you’re someone in the average, you’d stick with whatever company that would accept your qualifications, as long as your need of money is satisfied. That would be fine.

When you’ve chosen the company to apply, you’d do everything to impress them. You’d sing songs of commitment you don’t intentionally want to keep. You’d over emphasize your strengths and try hard to hide your weaknesses. Just, the main aim is for them to accept you.

When they finally accept you, at first, you’d give them your best shot. You try hard not mess with them. You’d keep your commitment and do all that they need of you. You even try to perform well.

But then, as time goes by… you’d get edgy with how they handle you. At this stage, you grumble a lot. You watch every mistake they make. You cannot take it when you feel like they have profited more over your efforts than what you are getting from them. You count every effort you make against what they have given you in return. But then, you still stay a little while… since they’re still feeding you with what you need. For you, cheating is unforgivable. Once you find out they cheat on you, you’d call it quits when you can’t take it any longer. But you don’t mind if you cheat them. When you’re the one doing something to their detriment, it would not be a big deal. You may even think you are entitled to it. You are unmindful of doing things that may cause their damage. You don’t really care that much. All you care about is getting as much as they can give… Then you’d start imagining for other companies than can give you your perceived comfort and that may give you what your current company is not giving you. Since you are no longer satisfied, when another opportunity beckons at you… you’d not hesitate to end your contract with that company and leave. You’d do the same cycle again and again. And though there may be companies that you’d truly like, even if you’d stay longer with it, you’d still reach the same stage of resignation. There is just something that you are looking for and you haven’t found it yet… and then, you’re on your search again.

Translation:

When a guy is young and is on the hype of experiencing his manhood. His main need (forgive me for being frank and blunt on this) is sex. Although he has this certain hint in his mind about this ideal girl whom he would want to spend the rest of his life with, it gets in the back burner of his mind as he focuses on the hype of his raging hormones. He collects girls who can give him, his need of sex. If he is physically desirable, he may charm all the girls he likes. He has the advantage of choosing from pretty and classy girls. He’d court any prospect who could give him the experience he so fantasizes… if he isn’t so gifted physically and isn’t so well with his charms, any girl would do, as long they can give him what he needs. Just, what matters most is sex. His mind may most of the time be filled with fantasies of sex.

If he has chosen this certain girl, he’d do everything to impress her. He’d show her his best. And he’d try so hard not to let her see his weaknesses. He’d say all the things he doesn’t necessarily mean, just to get her trust and to make her say yes. He’d give her, his best shot. He would even try to make her feel he is so committed in a relationship. He’d say anything and everything to get what he wants.

During the first stages of their relationship, it would all seem so fine. He’d do all the things that are expected of him as a boyfriend: calls, gifts, visits, attention, surprises, etc.

But then, as time goes by, he would lag on the things he used to do. He’d call less, He visits less, his attention is somewhere else, etc. Problems would arise, and the girlfriend would demand things on their relationship. At this stage, it becomes a burden to him to even do a single act in the name of being a boyfriend. But he has to, because, he needs to get some sex. But he’d become so edgy, he’d notice all the girl’s faults. At this point, his mind would wander on fantasizing on other girls who can give him more than what his girlfriend is giving him or on girls who have what his girlfriend doesn’t have. A small thing leads to a big fight. He would start to grumble a lot. He demands all the things the girl is expected to give him, but he would get away with all his mess if he can. He cannot tolerate the thought that he is doing more in the relationship. As much as possible, he wants to spend lesser effort. But he doesn’t mind doing things that may disappoint or hurt the girl. Cheating is unforgivable to him, but its fine if he cheats.He may even think he is entitled to it. When he thinks that the relationship is already too much for him to bear and a new girl may come and give him a better offer, he will not hesitate to leave his girlfriend. This cycle repeats many times. Still, he is not satisfied.

There maybe girls that he would actually like and he may stay longer with them. But then, he would still reach this stage of breaking up. He’s just looking for something that he hasn’t found in those girls yet. And he’s on his hunt again.

WARNING: Girls, if you are with someone who is still immature, who doesn’t have a clear vision of what’s his life gonna turn out, and most especially… if that person doesn’t even have a clue of himself… consider yourself in a greatest potential of being used just to fill his needs. He may or may have not realized it, but you would end up just the same… being used. Best advice: stay out of this relationship.

THE STAGE OF BOREDOM

This is the stage when you have too much of your experiences of all the jobs and employers you’ve left. You have gotten tired of the cycle and you want to break away from it. You’re in the stage when you’re through with the excitement of what money can buy you. You’ve bought most of the things you’ve dreamed of… or maybe you’ve reached the point of realizing that some of the things you used to think of buying are no longer that important to buy. Then, you start searching for something deeper. This is point when you want some change. You want something totally new. And you’d look back all those times you’ve wasted with those jobs you never intended to keep, or the jobs you just lost along the way… then suddenly, it hits you… am I really just gonna waste my life over this pitiful cycle? Damn no! And then, you’d ask the hardest question: WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?

Translation:

This is the stage when the guy just had too much of all his fun and experiences with girls. This is the stage when he has gotten tired of the same old cycle of hunting and breaking up with girls. He had the fill of his sexual fantasies. And then he’d start seeking for something more valuable. This is the point when he wants to change… when he would want someone totally new… different from the girls he had left or had lost along the way.Then he’d ask the hardest question: WHO DO I REALLY WANT?

THE STAGE OF KNOWING

I’d take it from here, since I will be speaking of my personal experience in this stage of knowing.

Long before I had graduated, I had that concept of the kind of commitment I’d like to offer my skills and talents for. But then, I was caught in the common hype of thinking first of money, so that you can finally be free of doing what you really want. Even if I wasn’t the type who would pursue money for its sake, I was engrossed in amassing wealth to support my dreams. One thing leads to another. So I’ve patterned my life in asking the question: What would gain me more money?

What I was actually doing was: I abandoned my dreams a little while, as I went ahead pursuing money. ‘Wait there, I’d come back for you when I’m ready to pursue and claim you.’ I said. But then, I was caught in the same cycle of striving hard and giving up. Because I did not love the jobs I had, I had little patience for all the things thrown at me because of them. They had been a great burden to me. And all I focused on was: what I was getting. Yes, I could be committed for a while. But then, not long enough boredom catches on me, and my strength wears out on pursuing and on being dedicated to those jobs.

It occurred to me that the kind of relationship I had with my earlier jobs was: consented utilitarianism. I was using them, they were using me. I thought I was getting much from them. But wrong, they were the ones getting most out of me. They have stolen my time and dedication that are supposedly for what I love to do alone. They worn out my strength and detracted me from my focus and attention on my beloved soul-deep dreams. They almost dried me up. And because they had gotten so much of me, it brought me great confusion. I used to know what I really want to do with my life, but because, those jobs gotten pieces of me, I could hardly define myself anymore. And because I am confused of who I am becoming, it made me confused of what I really want. Even if I tried to change my focus from money, to noble things and better things… still, I landed on the land of confusion and dissatisfaction.

Then I pondered on the truth: YOU WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE. If one doesn’t know who he/she is, he/she may base his/her wanting on the plane of feelings or emotions, rather on his/her desired conscious carefully and willfully thought choices. And worst, he/she may borrow what others want, and own it like his/her own. This is true, because it happened to me, and I’m sure to lot others. At first, I may think I was fine. I could feel that I’m happy with what I was getting from them, but that happiness doesn’t seem to last. It fades soon enough. And I find myself wanting some more: ‘Maybe I just needed, more than this, better than this!’… I THOUGHT. I was lost into groping and reaching outside of myself, by clinging on those temporary things. But I realized that I was just like: CHASING THE WIND. I felt so empty.



Oh, and knowing my one true love? It thrills me to the bone in looking forward to the great adventures that lie ahead as I start pursuing it. This is the cause that I would not mind giving so much of myself, even if I am not compensated, even if I don’t get anything the least… For it, I don’t mind going beyond normal working hours. I don’t mind giving too much of my effort. I don’t mind if it demands so much of me. I’d even try to surpass what I could give. For it, I’d only be concern if I had given enough… because I love it so much, I don’t mind the great deal of self-sacrifice I would have to make, just for it to be fulfilled. This is the great cry of my heart for my one true love. And there is nothing that can discourage me in pursuing it, because I have already realized its nature, and I have already decided to commit myself to it. In doing it, I’m being myself. And in just being myself, God blesses others.

Translation

(Going back with my analogy with guys hunting for their beloved mates)

As I reached this stage of analysis, and as I look back to those companies I have intentionally, or unintentionally used along the process of knowing what I really want, I have come to picture the same scenario with a guy who has intentionally or unintentionally used girls along the process of knowing who he really wants.

When a guy is in the stage of not knowing who he really is, he would have a vague picture of the woman whom he would want to spend the rest of his life with… for how can he know who he really wants if he doesn’t even know who he really is? In the same analogy, how can you know your missing piece, if you don’t even know what kind of piece are you?

And many guys are like this nowadays. They jump from one girl to another. And those who are really passionate can make you believe that they are so in love with you, only to find out that they have said the very words they told you to a lot of other women. And the sad thing is these guys don’t even mind, or are unaware of the great pain they’ve caused to other women. Their barometer is their feelings and their satisfaction. They focus on what their mates can give them, and not much on what they can give their mates.

But once a guy finds his one-true-love, he would offer his whole self just to have her. He wouldn’t mind sacrificing so much of himself for her. He wouldn’t mind giving so much, even if that girl isn’t giving as much. It would even be his pleasure if the girl depends on him.He’d sacrifice a great deal. And it would not be an issue, for he would want to satisfy the woman of his dreams. She is his one true love. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.He would even offer his own life. It’s like Adam finally finding his Eve. This is the cry of his heart for his one true love.

THOUGHTS: LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

"You dream that you are awake, you dream that you are asleep - and you do not realize you are dreaming because you are still in the dream! Indeed, when you do realize that this is all a dream, you will have already awakened."

We are all familiar with the basic characteristics of our sleeping dreams. Prior to the beginning of the dream, there is deep sleep with its absence of consciousness. The dream then bursts forth in full flower, with people, landscapes, buildings, airplanes; an entire world is created in an instant. During the course of the dream, which may last only a few seconds or minutes, people may appear and vanish or die, buildings may arise and crumble or burn, and oceans may form and reform or disappear. Dramas of every imaginable type may play out, including those with beauty, love, murder, hatred, terror, and lust. However, every dream invariably has one principal figure, that of some representation of the "I". The form of this representation may be different in every respect from the waking "I", but, on awakening, it is immediately clear which figure represented the "I" and which ones did not.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: LOVE IS ALL AROUND......

The subatomic particles
love each other so much
they form an atom
which loves the other atoms
so much they get together
and form a molecule
which loves the other molecules
so much they bind together
and create matter
material reality
which is so attracted
to other matter
that it collaborates
and cooperates
and works together and creates
binding together
and life is born
and love amplifies
love animates
our very
existence

To not recognize
the overwhelming amount
of love present
in the world
around you
is to just be blind
Wake up

POETRY: JUST THAT MOMENT

The lightning in your eyes flashing fire power-
halts the tracks of my time, our time.
The sound of the rocking chair motion beneath you
sounds out the tempo of creation and stills it;
even the smallest birth of a crocus in the yard ceases.
If a pin could drop it would be caught in this moment,
suspended in the air, you know this.
Your smile spreads a broad path across your face
exposing rows of fine white teeth clinched in pleasure.
You bask in inevitable triumph
tainted only by the whisper deep in timeless soul space
that no lightning sent from the eyes of anyone on this earth,
in this time, in this life will ever stop the movement of planets
or the power of gravity itself
as the least glint from my own fire power eyes giggle,
taste the lips of your forever, or fly
in the end .....it is all the same.




Part 2

Everytime you pass before me my heart skips a beat
And everytime your voice surrounds me I can feel the heat
Pulse races and body trembles- hoping we'll soon meet
I long for you.

Feelings scattered cross my mind like clouds upon the breeze
Thoughts and words fly everywhere, yet can't be formed with ease
What it is you mean to me; clear for one who sees
I long for you.

Drowning in a sea of dreams of what I hold most dear
Trapped within a cell I formed by wanting you so near
Companioned in the nights to come, shedding heart born tears
I long for you.

You could be my sun, my moon, my stars within the sky
I would give you all you need and never question why
We have only to join our hearts and venture forth to try
I long for you.

I would answer questions that you never knew to ask
I would gladly go and complete all your unfinished tasks
But most of all, I'll help tear down your self-protective mask
I long for you.

When you finally have the strength to let your heart go free
You'll find that her lost wanderings will end when she?s with me
I offer all it is I am and all I'll ever be
Long for me.




Part 3

Just one kiss
and my life was changed
How was I to know I'd find this?
-A love unrestrained

Just one touch
and my body was engulfed by flame
a desire I had not known much
until the likes of you came

Just those eyes
and I am frozen in time
when beside one another we lie
time passes as quickly as a child's rhyme

Just that moment
and nothing in my life was to be greater
so fast it went
but those moments have got better and better

Just one kiss
and look at us now
you, so much, I miss
and I wonder how-

How can I be so blessed
with something like this?
I received everything I've dreamed of...
In Just One Kiss



Part 4

Coursing. Endlessly searching for twists and turns.
Singing. Small ups and downs make forever melodies.
Following. Every moment trailing the mirrored image.
Carrying. Bearing life that successively gives life.

Man has not created a perpetual machine.
But one with one who's heart beats fast
can only see what doth can't be seen.
And all in all man has found a way,
That lets the sun rise through every day.
For man is not here to be heard or fought;
Thus, his heart is doth not connect to his misinterpret thoughts.
Love has no boundaries and sees all nothings.
Love doth not think on its own; yet it clutches to some things.
My love for you will always be visualized.
And as I walk amongst the winding frolic my love for you is realized


Part 5

The wind moves her hair.
The picture shines light on her face;
Her beauty


Part 6

Coffee shop is crowded
But empty without you
My judgement is clouded
I wonder what to do

You are so far away
When will I next see you
There're things I wanna say
And things I need to do

Can't focus on anything
You're never far from my mind
This thing we have; this little fling
Is something I thought I'd never find

I want to take you in my arms tonight
And hold you close to my heart
This feeling; I cannot fight
I've wanted you from the start

You make me smile
Even when we're apart
Thoughts of you go on for miles
You've awakened my dormant heart


Part 7

Like the boy who juggles all day,
Or that man who can't stop counting his first pay,
I look at you like you;re the only thing I see.
And, like a musician writing his very first piece,
I think of you night and day unable to cease.

And like the enslaved man would pray for freedom,
I pray that you may have wisdom.
And, just as a father would want to be with his new born baby,
I seek and pray that you would want to be with me.

And, as passionate as a lioness protects her young,
Or an eagle monitors her offspring,
I will always be here,
Dedicated and incontestably willing,
Never betraying your soul piercing stare,
For it's undeniably you who wears my Empress' crown.

Timeless and certified I will be in anticipation of your love,
But as one of the wiser men would declare,
If you love a dove,
Release it and wait for it to reappear.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER:DURING THE NIGHT

Dear Future Love,

Sometimes, late at night I lay awake and watch you sleep. Through the sliver of moonlight that spills across your face and onto my sheets, I observe your peaceful slumber. I close my eyes and try and surrender myself to such a sleep. But I can’t. Instead I burrow my way into you. I wiggle myself back until I am resting comfortably in your warm, soft nook. As if by instinct your arms wrap around me and you let out a long, slow sigh. Your soft breath tickles my neck, and your feet shift to try and warm mine. Even while sleeping you are silently taking care of me. I listen to the nothingness that surrounds us. I am always amazed at the silence. Where has the city gone? Am I really the only one still awake?

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness. I scan the piles of clothes, the silent piano and the stacks of books that reside around my room. The green glow of the digital clock reminds me it is late. Like an angry mother it scolds me for being awake at such an hour, and so I try again to sleep. I listen to your deep, steady breaths and try to match them. First I’m too slow, then too fast. Finally we breathe together. In and out. In and out. I am suddenly aware of our hearts beating. if I think hard enough can I really feel your heart through mine. Can i convince our heats to beat together simultaneously? I relax and concentrate. Breath for breath, beat by beat; like a metronome keeping time with our bodies I wait until we’ve become one singular beating, breathing organism. Are you aware of this synchronization? You in dreamland, me in reality. I’m tempted to wake you up and ask about your dreams. Was I there? Could you feel me? As I roll over to look at your face it starts to rain. The drops ping and ting the air-conditioner that hangs precariously six stories high outside my window. You’ve rolled onto your back now and our breaths have varied. You let out a little snore, a mumble and your hand searches for me under the covers. You settle on my left thigh and give it a little pat before you relax back into your deep-breathing slumber.

My eyes are beginning to droop and the room is turning fuzzy. The winter wind roars outside the window, but I am unaware of its cold breath as I lay contently entangled in your legs, wrapped in your warmth, in the middle of this long, december night

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

Dear Future Love

You are so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Your beauty overwhelms me in the best way possible. Everyday I am amazed at who you are; who you have the possibility of becoming. I have never seen so much potential buzzing around in one person. I have never seen a person who is already so wonderful without that potential. You don’t have to do a thing and I will always see you as the most incredible person I know. I have always always believed in you. I have always loved you. Your face, your soul, your words. You consume me and I love it. I want to crawl up next to you and stay there forever. Once I find you, I don’t want to ever leave. I want to travel the world with you. I want to settle down with you. I want to experience everything life has to offer with you by my side. No one else. Only you. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the cold to my hot, the hot to my cold, the ketchup to my jam. I want you to come across this site and find this. I can’t tell you all of this. I don’t know if you want to hear it or not. I’d rather you come across it. Find me, love.