When one throws caution to the wind, does one then consider its travels beyond just that? For the wind must lift this caution, carry this caution to yet another destination as pollen from a single spring flower...I wonder where my caution lies at this very moment. I suppose my caution grows to become one with the wind, a placelessness being, always in motion...
Your voice was gently carried by the wings of the wind on this early September morning. It snuck through the cracks of my bay window, making the curtains dance. My ears have never heard such a lovely melody as it frolicked in and out of the dusty corners of the room until there it stood, vulnerably, in the center of all.
It was nothing I could see, nor was it tangible, but the feeling...the feeling was unexplainable...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER:THE UNBEARABLE BEING
The silence in this house is growing quite unbearable, the dinner table untouched. I crave noise, I crave life, but fear there is no sense in uttering this desire upon deaf ears. I, of all people, how did I suddenly become so lost? The entirety of my life I have worked, worked towards achieving a goal, a goal of which I saw so clearly in the distance. Somehow, now that the once distant is in close proximity, I have become ostracized in a vast desert of desolation. Once independent, loving and contempt now only a soulless body with a muted scream for help, not even the walls can hear.
My only dream is to do whatever my heart wishes, experience freedom which no one dare to oblige. I wish to ride upon the dust of a shooting star, and rest along side of a soothing river, at times gliding gently over various pebbles, all shapes and sizes. For today, my silenced thoughts serve as a bridle for this foreseen fight.
I roll over to see you on the other side of me, sharing my bed, but not my dreams. Do you ever dream of me? For I never seem to dream of thee. The rate of my heartbeat increases with the slight movement of you, I fear your awakening. I fear the expectations that coincide with your consciousness…the expectation of me loving you, whole heartedly. Your body shifts again, in anxiety I clench my eyes with haste and pretend to be asleep.
Not even laying here, ‘asleep’ do you leave me alone? The touch of your hands on my back, hair and face send me into rage. Is it too much to ask to be left alone…? For once, I ask of you to take me into consideration, more so take me into consideration at a higher level than that of your own wants and desires. I am a person, it seems you have forgotten…and I, much like you, although silenced have wants and desires—to leave, to break free from this suffocating life. Perhaps if I just concentrate on my breathing I will succeed in suppressing my anxious thoughts…yes this is what I shall do…concentrate on my breathing. Just breathe…
How horrible it is, time moves so slowly when we are together, can’ t it learn to speed up as it does when I am in solitude? There is nothing that I want more than my old life back, my old self…my dreams of traveling and growing whole. For I do not have any recollection. It was only a couple of year ago that I decided I never truly wanted to settle in one place for a long amount of time but, saw myself to be much more contempt moving from place to place. My dream in life was to learn the art of talking less and listening more; taking less and giving more; and possessing less and learning more. I wanted to see how I could exist on my own, away from the security of friends, family and work and the already established identity that I myself possessed—I wished to start anew. I wanted to learn the lesson of how to stop rushing from place to place, always looking ahead to the next thing, while in the moment, in front of me; I had allowed the present to slip away unnoticed. After all, in the end, a life is nothing more than the accumulation of small daily moments…and yet I sit motionless, with closed eyes—not able to travel and explore the hidden treasures of life beyond the suffocating walls of this love and empty room in which we live.
..
I do not recall ever remaining so motionless ever before, watching her I have been since the moment I entered the room this morning and now the moon is my visitor in place of the sun. ..her skin in the moonlight is so fresh and bright. I believe she stirred! Oh my love, please open your eyes please, please open your unclouded brown, almond shaped eyes….reassure me of my existence.
Your lips, your lush lips, they are parting, speak my name, utter my name…I am here…
Oh, the feeling my heart has just felt is that of a thousand ‘I love you’s’…I cannot begin to explain how relieved I feel….
“Yes, my love it is I, I am here, forever and always”
My words must have comforted her for she is breathing with depth, her chest gingerly raises and falls as that of the autumn sky once more.
I can’t not survive like this any longer, I must go”
This cannot be so, she loves me, we are going to be one for eternity, it was my destiny, no not was, why am I speaking in past tense as though it has ended? We are still in love…right?
“Please I…I…I do not love you any longer, you must go, if you love me you will do so…”
Although I cannot breathe I feel I must leave. I will leave only because of the love I hold for her. My knees weak, I rise slowly as a flower in bloom, I shall not cry, I shall simply leave. I love you my please know and remember that as true, forever and always. With the drop of a hat I will return, and we shall be one, once more, this time for all of life.
Since the morning I collapsed I have been able to live life, each and every moment of it. I breathe and laugh and love, love myself. I love this spot that I come to…although it makes me miss the one I was once with… She is not with my in presence, yet in my mind she still exists. Perhaps now that we do not share a bed, she does share my dreams…There is nothing more that I love than this single letter, a letter, with which I never sent a reply…just as our love was—a one way street…
“My dear love, I am along the shore waiting for you to take my eager hands. For now I have a better sense of when not to go in too deep, for the current rips out and storms may come. Waiting and missing, missing and longing, existing without you is baneful. Perhaps the agony will bring me the gift of life, the ability to re-establish who I am and who we were. Turning away the distractions, preventing interference, a break is just what I needed—I am ready to wade in the water with you again when you are…”
If I was to have replied…I would have sent you this, but what is the sense…? I will sit here and write, write to you and with me I shall always keep it….
With one string of words you claim your love, yet with another you prove your abhorrence—beside me uninterested, yet at a far, adoration. Is your wish to force me into insanity?
As I rest on this rock with many faces, my eyes are drawn to the newly developed tree line. There is something special about the way the sunlight dances among the entanglement of tree branches, as if dodging the complexity of darkness. It is funny how I compare thee to the dancing rays, avoiding me, avoiding us, avoiding our love. Even still I hear thee in the whist melody of two birds perched, complacent, on the weather worn branch of a white birch tree. I feel thee in the river’s mist, three hundred feet below, roaring with such power the angels above me, above the trees, and above the clouds listen. This scent, the blend of verdant cedar and newly born leaves permeate the air triggering a memory. I can’t help but think of thee. Do you recall this day as I; walking in a vast but delicate field, blanketed by flowers of wilderness and emotions of the heart. With the breeze came a trail of endless dreams rolling through our minds, as ocean waves upon the shore. Faced the decision of remaining hidden, still, together or penetrate the surface of the outside world. We chose to stay, beneath the shelter of a single tree, with the company of one another. With the sunrise, reality grimly knocked, welcoming our return. I have relegated my thoughts of you to the farthest reaches of my heart; banished forever—but not forgotten. No, never forgotten for with the presence of nature, every word, thought, every look and feeling that passed between us, is as fresh in my mind now, as if it had occurred only yesterday. Like the moss growing atop the base of this rock, you span the surface of my mind. In this moment I tell myself to keep breathing, but how difficult this simple task becomes with the lack of air. Among the oxygen of a forest, the thoughts of us suffocates the atmosphere…until I break free from your hold, I rest on this rock with many faces.
I have never met a more perfect woman for me…so loyal and true. Such elegance she possesses in everything she does. I love the way her mouth turns up around the edges when she is excited, the way she inhales deeply with such delicacy that her chest slowly raises and falls like the autumn sun in the sky. Her skin, so soft and pure, with a one of a kind glow similar to that of the light surrounding an angel’s halo. Although she lays in slumber her unclouded brown, almond shaped eyes remain permanent in my mind. The way her name rolls of my tongue s a wave right before it crashes to the surface of the sun kissed sand. There is not a more beautiful woman alive, and this I know is true.
I know this is the delicate flower I am destined to be with for eternity, my love, my best friend, my wife….
Can’t you just imagine her standing on a beach in a simple white dress, as simple as the beauty she holds, cognac brown tresses draping the cream complexion of her perfectly sculpted back? I can, I can see it all, envision every detail…this is my favorite moment of today, laying beside the one I love, watching, and memorizing each attribute that makes her the person she is. Perfect in every way. Perhaps today I will take the day off from work to spend every moment with my love that I possible. To be as one, from dawn to dusk…that is my dream for today. And in this moment I am complete.
My only dream is to do whatever my heart wishes, experience freedom which no one dare to oblige. I wish to ride upon the dust of a shooting star, and rest along side of a soothing river, at times gliding gently over various pebbles, all shapes and sizes. For today, my silenced thoughts serve as a bridle for this foreseen fight.
I roll over to see you on the other side of me, sharing my bed, but not my dreams. Do you ever dream of me? For I never seem to dream of thee. The rate of my heartbeat increases with the slight movement of you, I fear your awakening. I fear the expectations that coincide with your consciousness…the expectation of me loving you, whole heartedly. Your body shifts again, in anxiety I clench my eyes with haste and pretend to be asleep.
Not even laying here, ‘asleep’ do you leave me alone? The touch of your hands on my back, hair and face send me into rage. Is it too much to ask to be left alone…? For once, I ask of you to take me into consideration, more so take me into consideration at a higher level than that of your own wants and desires. I am a person, it seems you have forgotten…and I, much like you, although silenced have wants and desires—to leave, to break free from this suffocating life. Perhaps if I just concentrate on my breathing I will succeed in suppressing my anxious thoughts…yes this is what I shall do…concentrate on my breathing. Just breathe…
How horrible it is, time moves so slowly when we are together, can’ t it learn to speed up as it does when I am in solitude? There is nothing that I want more than my old life back, my old self…my dreams of traveling and growing whole. For I do not have any recollection. It was only a couple of year ago that I decided I never truly wanted to settle in one place for a long amount of time but, saw myself to be much more contempt moving from place to place. My dream in life was to learn the art of talking less and listening more; taking less and giving more; and possessing less and learning more. I wanted to see how I could exist on my own, away from the security of friends, family and work and the already established identity that I myself possessed—I wished to start anew. I wanted to learn the lesson of how to stop rushing from place to place, always looking ahead to the next thing, while in the moment, in front of me; I had allowed the present to slip away unnoticed. After all, in the end, a life is nothing more than the accumulation of small daily moments…and yet I sit motionless, with closed eyes—not able to travel and explore the hidden treasures of life beyond the suffocating walls of this love and empty room in which we live.
..
I do not recall ever remaining so motionless ever before, watching her I have been since the moment I entered the room this morning and now the moon is my visitor in place of the sun. ..her skin in the moonlight is so fresh and bright. I believe she stirred! Oh my love, please open your eyes please, please open your unclouded brown, almond shaped eyes….reassure me of my existence.
Your lips, your lush lips, they are parting, speak my name, utter my name…I am here…
Oh, the feeling my heart has just felt is that of a thousand ‘I love you’s’…I cannot begin to explain how relieved I feel….
“Yes, my love it is I, I am here, forever and always”
My words must have comforted her for she is breathing with depth, her chest gingerly raises and falls as that of the autumn sky once more.
I can’t not survive like this any longer, I must go”
This cannot be so, she loves me, we are going to be one for eternity, it was my destiny, no not was, why am I speaking in past tense as though it has ended? We are still in love…right?
“Please I…I…I do not love you any longer, you must go, if you love me you will do so…”
Although I cannot breathe I feel I must leave. I will leave only because of the love I hold for her. My knees weak, I rise slowly as a flower in bloom, I shall not cry, I shall simply leave. I love you my please know and remember that as true, forever and always. With the drop of a hat I will return, and we shall be one, once more, this time for all of life.
Since the morning I collapsed I have been able to live life, each and every moment of it. I breathe and laugh and love, love myself. I love this spot that I come to…although it makes me miss the one I was once with… She is not with my in presence, yet in my mind she still exists. Perhaps now that we do not share a bed, she does share my dreams…There is nothing more that I love than this single letter, a letter, with which I never sent a reply…just as our love was—a one way street…
“My dear love, I am along the shore waiting for you to take my eager hands. For now I have a better sense of when not to go in too deep, for the current rips out and storms may come. Waiting and missing, missing and longing, existing without you is baneful. Perhaps the agony will bring me the gift of life, the ability to re-establish who I am and who we were. Turning away the distractions, preventing interference, a break is just what I needed—I am ready to wade in the water with you again when you are…”
If I was to have replied…I would have sent you this, but what is the sense…? I will sit here and write, write to you and with me I shall always keep it….
With one string of words you claim your love, yet with another you prove your abhorrence—beside me uninterested, yet at a far, adoration. Is your wish to force me into insanity?
As I rest on this rock with many faces, my eyes are drawn to the newly developed tree line. There is something special about the way the sunlight dances among the entanglement of tree branches, as if dodging the complexity of darkness. It is funny how I compare thee to the dancing rays, avoiding me, avoiding us, avoiding our love. Even still I hear thee in the whist melody of two birds perched, complacent, on the weather worn branch of a white birch tree. I feel thee in the river’s mist, three hundred feet below, roaring with such power the angels above me, above the trees, and above the clouds listen. This scent, the blend of verdant cedar and newly born leaves permeate the air triggering a memory. I can’t help but think of thee. Do you recall this day as I; walking in a vast but delicate field, blanketed by flowers of wilderness and emotions of the heart. With the breeze came a trail of endless dreams rolling through our minds, as ocean waves upon the shore. Faced the decision of remaining hidden, still, together or penetrate the surface of the outside world. We chose to stay, beneath the shelter of a single tree, with the company of one another. With the sunrise, reality grimly knocked, welcoming our return. I have relegated my thoughts of you to the farthest reaches of my heart; banished forever—but not forgotten. No, never forgotten for with the presence of nature, every word, thought, every look and feeling that passed between us, is as fresh in my mind now, as if it had occurred only yesterday. Like the moss growing atop the base of this rock, you span the surface of my mind. In this moment I tell myself to keep breathing, but how difficult this simple task becomes with the lack of air. Among the oxygen of a forest, the thoughts of us suffocates the atmosphere…until I break free from your hold, I rest on this rock with many faces.
I have never met a more perfect woman for me…so loyal and true. Such elegance she possesses in everything she does. I love the way her mouth turns up around the edges when she is excited, the way she inhales deeply with such delicacy that her chest slowly raises and falls like the autumn sun in the sky. Her skin, so soft and pure, with a one of a kind glow similar to that of the light surrounding an angel’s halo. Although she lays in slumber her unclouded brown, almond shaped eyes remain permanent in my mind. The way her name rolls of my tongue s a wave right before it crashes to the surface of the sun kissed sand. There is not a more beautiful woman alive, and this I know is true.
I know this is the delicate flower I am destined to be with for eternity, my love, my best friend, my wife….
Can’t you just imagine her standing on a beach in a simple white dress, as simple as the beauty she holds, cognac brown tresses draping the cream complexion of her perfectly sculpted back? I can, I can see it all, envision every detail…this is my favorite moment of today, laying beside the one I love, watching, and memorizing each attribute that makes her the person she is. Perfect in every way. Perhaps today I will take the day off from work to spend every moment with my love that I possible. To be as one, from dawn to dusk…that is my dream for today. And in this moment I am complete.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: YOU
You.
Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you have any idea about the corner of the world that get's held up
because of your existence? Do you know about the brightness that is held in your every breath? Do you know what magnificence is concealed in your story? Do you know that Love wrote a letter in your bones on the day you were born, and that every moment of your life is about revealing that letter? Do you have any idea about the preciousness of your every motion? and the gifts you bestow on us when you trip and fall?
Your wins are for you, but what you GIVE from your failings, you will never know. A light exists in you that is ancient and breathless, and beyond every nuance of your mind. Yes, it shines when you smile — but it burns white-hot brilliance when you cry, because that is when you OPEN. That is when you bloom like the full phase of the moon. You are all this luminosity, and more. You are what wakes the tiger, and puts the bear to sleep. You are that raging internal curiosity that creates worlds within worlds, within worlds. You are the undoing of those worlds. The unravelling of an old tale, like a grandmothers sweater worn thin. You break through the barriers,and find the sun.
You are my heart, and my hope, and my truth that can't be taken. You change the game. You re-write the rules. You set the world on fire, and then you wash it all clean. You show up.again and again, and again, and again. You astound me in your forgetting, and remembering. You plant the seeds, and bring the soil.
What I really want to say…is how you move me. And this moving is a sharing that rocks this wicked world.
this beautiful world, that we like to call wicked, because we've forgotten that it is only Us in disguise. What I really want to say, is that you knock my socks off. and that I smile for the day that we all stop pretending
we don't know each other, and love each other, and meet in the middle with a warm embrace —laughing with abandon over the wild and woolen wonder of this fastly fading dream.
Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you have any idea about the corner of the world that get's held up
because of your existence? Do you know about the brightness that is held in your every breath? Do you know what magnificence is concealed in your story? Do you know that Love wrote a letter in your bones on the day you were born, and that every moment of your life is about revealing that letter? Do you have any idea about the preciousness of your every motion? and the gifts you bestow on us when you trip and fall?
Your wins are for you, but what you GIVE from your failings, you will never know. A light exists in you that is ancient and breathless, and beyond every nuance of your mind. Yes, it shines when you smile — but it burns white-hot brilliance when you cry, because that is when you OPEN. That is when you bloom like the full phase of the moon. You are all this luminosity, and more. You are what wakes the tiger, and puts the bear to sleep. You are that raging internal curiosity that creates worlds within worlds, within worlds. You are the undoing of those worlds. The unravelling of an old tale, like a grandmothers sweater worn thin. You break through the barriers,and find the sun.
You are my heart, and my hope, and my truth that can't be taken. You change the game. You re-write the rules. You set the world on fire, and then you wash it all clean. You show up.again and again, and again, and again. You astound me in your forgetting, and remembering. You plant the seeds, and bring the soil.
What I really want to say…is how you move me. And this moving is a sharing that rocks this wicked world.
this beautiful world, that we like to call wicked, because we've forgotten that it is only Us in disguise. What I really want to say, is that you knock my socks off. and that I smile for the day that we all stop pretending
we don't know each other, and love each other, and meet in the middle with a warm embrace —laughing with abandon over the wild and woolen wonder of this fastly fading dream.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: DEAR FUTURE WIFE
Dear Future Wife:
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you're there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a
love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.
I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.
Yours,
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you're there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a
love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.
I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.
Yours,
POETRY: YOU ARE THE BEATING OF MY HEART
You are the beating of my heart
The light of my life when it is dark
The sweet tenderness of every kiss
The heavenly ecstacy and tender bliss
You are the desire which burns inside
The love in my heart I can not hide
The essence of every breath I take
The hope of every wish I make
You are the burning fire in my soul
The warmth when I have you to hold
The tenderness when I feel your embrace
The devine beauty and heavenly grace
You are the trembling of my fingertips
The beautiful passion when I kiss your lips
The excitement in my heart you inspire
The fulfillment of every need and desire
You are the ecstacy of a love so divine
The bliss and beauty as endless as time
The belief in every prayer I say
The love in my heart forever to stay
You are...the true love...of my heart and soul
2
You make me want to take the plunge,
To let go of my fears,
To hand over my heart to you,
And rid my life of tears.
You make me want to change myself,
Into the man of your dreams,
To makeover each little flaw,
Become more than I seem.
You make me want to love again,
Submerge myself in you,
To give up inhibition,
And start over anew.
You make me want to reach new heights,
To set you as my goal,
To believe you are the only one,
Who can make my spirit whole.
You make me want to trust my heart,
Forget the hurts of past,
To know I shouldn't be afraid -
Have faith that this will last.
You make me want to hold on tight,
Rely on what's to come,
To know that you are there for me,
That you could be the one?.
You make me want to find myself,
To see me in your eyes,
But I'm so afraid to fall again;
So used to sad goodbyes.
You make me want to reach inside,
Expose the love in me,
To give you everything I have,
For all eternity.
You make me want to open up,
Let go of all the bad.
You make me want to find in you,
The love I've never had.
3
A gentle touch,
a sweet soft embrace of loving
Caring in the ways of heavenly
direction
Two lovers on a path,
to discover truth
In true love
A calmness,
like an ocean at rest
Minds relaxed
in the knowledge of togetherness
No demands, no expectations
Just loving in the caring way
One for the other
In the touch of hands
And soft lips,
so gently speaking caresses
Here is the calmness
of true love
The excitement, anticipation
of loving
Always unexpectedly
Not demanding, not planning
Just being and enjoying
In the light of loving...
4
You are the sunshine, and starlight, too
You are the blue sky, and morning dew
You are the birdsong, and even moonbeams
You are my everything, in all of my dreams
You are the melody, within my heart
You are the promise, never to part
You are my heartbeat, my very breath
I promise to love you,
forever - 'til death
The light of my life when it is dark
The sweet tenderness of every kiss
The heavenly ecstacy and tender bliss
You are the desire which burns inside
The love in my heart I can not hide
The essence of every breath I take
The hope of every wish I make
You are the burning fire in my soul
The warmth when I have you to hold
The tenderness when I feel your embrace
The devine beauty and heavenly grace
You are the trembling of my fingertips
The beautiful passion when I kiss your lips
The excitement in my heart you inspire
The fulfillment of every need and desire
You are the ecstacy of a love so divine
The bliss and beauty as endless as time
The belief in every prayer I say
The love in my heart forever to stay
You are...the true love...of my heart and soul
2
You make me want to take the plunge,
To let go of my fears,
To hand over my heart to you,
And rid my life of tears.
You make me want to change myself,
Into the man of your dreams,
To makeover each little flaw,
Become more than I seem.
You make me want to love again,
Submerge myself in you,
To give up inhibition,
And start over anew.
You make me want to reach new heights,
To set you as my goal,
To believe you are the only one,
Who can make my spirit whole.
You make me want to trust my heart,
Forget the hurts of past,
To know I shouldn't be afraid -
Have faith that this will last.
You make me want to hold on tight,
Rely on what's to come,
To know that you are there for me,
That you could be the one?.
You make me want to find myself,
To see me in your eyes,
But I'm so afraid to fall again;
So used to sad goodbyes.
You make me want to reach inside,
Expose the love in me,
To give you everything I have,
For all eternity.
You make me want to open up,
Let go of all the bad.
You make me want to find in you,
The love I've never had.
3
A gentle touch,
a sweet soft embrace of loving
Caring in the ways of heavenly
direction
Two lovers on a path,
to discover truth
In true love
A calmness,
like an ocean at rest
Minds relaxed
in the knowledge of togetherness
No demands, no expectations
Just loving in the caring way
One for the other
In the touch of hands
And soft lips,
so gently speaking caresses
Here is the calmness
of true love
The excitement, anticipation
of loving
Always unexpectedly
Not demanding, not planning
Just being and enjoying
In the light of loving...
4
You are the sunshine, and starlight, too
You are the blue sky, and morning dew
You are the birdsong, and even moonbeams
You are my everything, in all of my dreams
You are the melody, within my heart
You are the promise, never to part
You are my heartbeat, my very breath
I promise to love you,
forever - 'til death
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
POETRY: YOU TOUCH YOUR LIPS TO MINE
Its like a wisper in the wind
Calling me to you
Making me come back each time you call
I try to fight the urge to love you
But it always wins
I find my self staring into your eyes
When I'm trying to say goodbye
I just can't go, you're in control
Something always stops me
I think its our love for each other.
2
You touch your lips to mine...
An indescribable pain begins at the center of my heart
and races throughout my body.
It captures my breath.
Takes hold of my limbs.
Battles my will not to cry.
My mind argues this intruder,
saying its secret is a lie.
But the pain is triumphant,
revealing the denied secret...
You will never feel the same as I.
A kiss from you,
and I die.
3
It's been a while now
since the last time I saw you
but each day that passes by
I can't help it...
I still think of you.
Do you ever think of me?
It's been a while now
since the last time we shared a kiss,
but when I lick my lips
I can still taste
your irresistable kiss.
Do you remember mine?
It's been a while now
since the last time I told you...
I love you.
But even though I can't say it anymore,
it doesn't mean that I've stopped.
Do you love me?
It's been a while now
since the last time you were in my bed,
but I still remember watching you sleep
as I lay awake in the middle of the night.
Do you ever miss that?
It's been a while now
since the last time you held me in your arms
but I can still feel your touch
whenever I close my eyes.
Do you feel it too?
I know it's been a while now
but I can't help it.
Everything reminds me of you,
because I am still
Very Much In Love With You!
4
She walks along, thinking of a time when all is well.
A time when the one thing;
The only thing she feels... is life
Will come to her
A time when she will walk
Hand in hand on a beach,
with the sand between her toes.
Sitting at a table for two,
Gazing across the candles
At his beautiful eyes...
Spending late nights looking up at the sky;
Making a wish on each star
For each other...
A time when every moment
Every breath... step... heartbeat...
Is remembered...
Cherished... since they are together.
She continues along.
Dreaming of walking down the isle;
Holding her fathers' arm.
And thinking that now, he won't be the only man in her life.
Making her vows
And being a married lady.
Going on a honeymoon
To the one place she hold priceless in her heart.
A time when she will be carried
Through the threshhold of a new house.
A time when there will be no more searching
For destiny...
She thinks of compassion... beauty... all the things she has
And all the things that her heart will have
She will have him forever..
She thinks of love.
5
Thinking Of You....
What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking the same thing...
I have left my heart somewhere
And now it appears to have become your shadow.
It refuses to come back to me.
But, how could this be true?
You were never here and I was never there.
How did you work wonders on me?
Your thoughts seem to keep me awake
Into the wee hours of the lonely nights.
They don?t even let me do anything
Even during the busy times of broad daylight.
How do I spend my life?
What should I do to end this grief?
Wherever I turn and whatever I do,
I have always your presence felt.
My eyes don?t seem to be taking in
Anything else except you.
You seem to have cast your charm upon me.
How do I break this magic spell?
There must be some intoxication
In every letter that forms your name.
There must be some numbing passion
In your sweet caring voice.
I seem to get lost in your dreams
And every moment I spend in your thoughts.
Are you even thinking about me?
Will you be able to look me straight in the eye,
Judge my feelings and utter few words?
Did you ever think about the emotional ties,
Or are you just having a good laugh
As you see that I am losing my mind?
What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking the same thing.
6
Have you seen my dreams
Playing in your eyes?
Have you seen my hands
Touching your dreams
In my eyes?
It is too simple and clear
After all those smiles
To comprehend your hands
Screaming the loveliness
Your presence radiates.
Hold me for another moment
In the shadow of your hands
Making me so happy like a child
In this Springtime of dreams?
7
She doesn't think she's pretty,
rather that she is quite plain.
I tell her, "No, you're beautiful,
and every time I see you, I fall in love again."
She thinks her voice sounds funny,
she says it's like a child's.
I tell her, "I think it's sexy
and every time I hear it, my passions... they go wild."
She says her eyes are such a strange hue
The color is hard to discern.
I say that makes them magical
and to be lost in them, I yearn.
She says she's not a young woman.
Her hair is no longer dark.
She knows little about love
and she's not sure how to give her heart.
I run my fingers through her hair
and tell her, "I do not care
if your hair is no longer dark
For we'll learn about love together, I know you'll do your part."
She says, " I'll try your patience.
Sometimes I can obsess."
I just smile and say, "No,
I never would have guessed."
She looks into my eyes and smiles,
then snuggles into my arms.
She says, "You must be quite blind and mad to think you love me so.
I'm afraid one day you will clearly see and then you will go."
I kiss her forehead, my smile pressed into her white hair
and say, "I may not be sane,
I never claimed to be but," I whisper,
"For the first time in my life...I clearly see."
Calling me to you
Making me come back each time you call
I try to fight the urge to love you
But it always wins
I find my self staring into your eyes
When I'm trying to say goodbye
I just can't go, you're in control
Something always stops me
I think its our love for each other.
2
You touch your lips to mine...
An indescribable pain begins at the center of my heart
and races throughout my body.
It captures my breath.
Takes hold of my limbs.
Battles my will not to cry.
My mind argues this intruder,
saying its secret is a lie.
But the pain is triumphant,
revealing the denied secret...
You will never feel the same as I.
A kiss from you,
and I die.
3
It's been a while now
since the last time I saw you
but each day that passes by
I can't help it...
I still think of you.
Do you ever think of me?
It's been a while now
since the last time we shared a kiss,
but when I lick my lips
I can still taste
your irresistable kiss.
Do you remember mine?
It's been a while now
since the last time I told you...
I love you.
But even though I can't say it anymore,
it doesn't mean that I've stopped.
Do you love me?
It's been a while now
since the last time you were in my bed,
but I still remember watching you sleep
as I lay awake in the middle of the night.
Do you ever miss that?
It's been a while now
since the last time you held me in your arms
but I can still feel your touch
whenever I close my eyes.
Do you feel it too?
I know it's been a while now
but I can't help it.
Everything reminds me of you,
because I am still
Very Much In Love With You!
4
She walks along, thinking of a time when all is well.
A time when the one thing;
The only thing she feels... is life
Will come to her
A time when she will walk
Hand in hand on a beach,
with the sand between her toes.
Sitting at a table for two,
Gazing across the candles
At his beautiful eyes...
Spending late nights looking up at the sky;
Making a wish on each star
For each other...
A time when every moment
Every breath... step... heartbeat...
Is remembered...
Cherished... since they are together.
She continues along.
Dreaming of walking down the isle;
Holding her fathers' arm.
And thinking that now, he won't be the only man in her life.
Making her vows
And being a married lady.
Going on a honeymoon
To the one place she hold priceless in her heart.
A time when she will be carried
Through the threshhold of a new house.
A time when there will be no more searching
For destiny...
She thinks of compassion... beauty... all the things she has
And all the things that her heart will have
She will have him forever..
She thinks of love.
5
Thinking Of You....
What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking the same thing...
I have left my heart somewhere
And now it appears to have become your shadow.
It refuses to come back to me.
But, how could this be true?
You were never here and I was never there.
How did you work wonders on me?
Your thoughts seem to keep me awake
Into the wee hours of the lonely nights.
They don?t even let me do anything
Even during the busy times of broad daylight.
How do I spend my life?
What should I do to end this grief?
Wherever I turn and whatever I do,
I have always your presence felt.
My eyes don?t seem to be taking in
Anything else except you.
You seem to have cast your charm upon me.
How do I break this magic spell?
There must be some intoxication
In every letter that forms your name.
There must be some numbing passion
In your sweet caring voice.
I seem to get lost in your dreams
And every moment I spend in your thoughts.
Are you even thinking about me?
Will you be able to look me straight in the eye,
Judge my feelings and utter few words?
Did you ever think about the emotional ties,
Or are you just having a good laugh
As you see that I am losing my mind?
What would you be doing at this time?
Every moment I keep thinking the same thing.
6
Have you seen my dreams
Playing in your eyes?
Have you seen my hands
Touching your dreams
In my eyes?
It is too simple and clear
After all those smiles
To comprehend your hands
Screaming the loveliness
Your presence radiates.
Hold me for another moment
In the shadow of your hands
Making me so happy like a child
In this Springtime of dreams?
7
She doesn't think she's pretty,
rather that she is quite plain.
I tell her, "No, you're beautiful,
and every time I see you, I fall in love again."
She thinks her voice sounds funny,
she says it's like a child's.
I tell her, "I think it's sexy
and every time I hear it, my passions... they go wild."
She says her eyes are such a strange hue
The color is hard to discern.
I say that makes them magical
and to be lost in them, I yearn.
She says she's not a young woman.
Her hair is no longer dark.
She knows little about love
and she's not sure how to give her heart.
I run my fingers through her hair
and tell her, "I do not care
if your hair is no longer dark
For we'll learn about love together, I know you'll do your part."
She says, " I'll try your patience.
Sometimes I can obsess."
I just smile and say, "No,
I never would have guessed."
She looks into my eyes and smiles,
then snuggles into my arms.
She says, "You must be quite blind and mad to think you love me so.
I'm afraid one day you will clearly see and then you will go."
I kiss her forehead, my smile pressed into her white hair
and say, "I may not be sane,
I never claimed to be but," I whisper,
"For the first time in my life...I clearly see."
Monday, July 30, 2012
SPIRITUAL: SYNCHRONICITY THAT FROM DESTINY
If we observe very carefully we sometimes in our life come across coincidences that can't be explained logically. Broadly speaking, coincidences means incidents happening together that would not happen
together; these are some sort of occurrences of improbable events. We generally treat such coincidences as merely accidental or random events. However, a famous Swedish psychologist/physicist Carl Jung (1875-1961) for the first time coined the term 'synchronicity' to explain such incidences as 'meaningful coincidences' that are not related by any casual events. His concept of synchronicity came through many surprising coincidences his patients shared with him during his practice time, especially as he began to realize that the
occurrences went beyond what could be attributed to mere chances. Since then this subject has been widely deliberated and researched even by the modern physicists especially in the field of quantum physics.
According to Wikipedia, synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. To count as synchronicity, the events should be
unlikely to occur together by chance. Deepak Chopra in his book entitled Power, Freedom and Grace explained this phenomenon as "though a coincidence may seem to be an accident, in truth there is no such
thing as accident or random event. What we call an accident or a random event, is the nonlocal correlation of the universal mind. Every event is being orchestrated by infinite consciousness, and every event is a conspiracy of infinity of events. Though we may not understand it, the essential truth of the universe is that it's synchronistic and coincidental. Everything is connected with everything else, and if we are in sync with the universe, then we experience synchronicity. The more connected we are the more we experience coincident or simultaneous events".
James Redfield, a famous American author who is notable for one of the most successful books for all times titled 'The Celestine Prophecy' on the New Age Movement. He describes the first insight about following meaningful coincidences in the 'Celestine Prophecy'. He explains that "coincidences, if followed through, are
seen as a way of evolving, to a higher level of vibration. When we are in the flow we experience more synchronous events, more pleasure and less pain. The flow of coincidences is our path to higher ground".
It's true that if we start noticing carefully then such coincidences in our life are not very rare and we can certainly find out the hidden meaning behind those meaningful events. Moreover if study how life has been created on this universe then we find that there are great numbers of incredible and improbable coincidences through which life has originated. In fact, the entire universe is built on an almost infinite number of incredible improbabilities. Perhaps the greatest of all these improbabilities is our own existence as human beings. It can
be clearly established that synchronicity arises from a chain of causality that originates outside physical reality. Since we cannot see where the chain of those events begins and when and where the initial cause arises, the phenomenon is considered acausal. Synchronicities are whole packets of cause and effect spanning past,
present, and future from an alternate timeline that are instantly inserted into the original timeline as a result of intention (Deepak Chopra).
There is now a widely accepted views that synchronicity happens to everyone in their lifetime but very few people are able to comprehend and appreciate those incidents, which otherwise or superficially look random and ill-logical. Such events have for a bigger and meaningful purpose for their life as they are supposed to be turning points of their destiny. The full appreciation of synchronicity is nothing less than our personal connection with the higher intelligence (or we may call God). Synchronicity can be seen as mini miracles through which an infinite consciousness which is the ground of every being manifests itself into our lives. Hence one should accept such kind of coincidences as important guidance from the higher Consciousness or
God. They lead us to a pathway/direction, most appropriate on the long run for our life hence, those incidents should be carefully interpreted and we should derive their profound meaning. We should also keep this in mind that the meaning is not evident in that incident/event itself, but is based solely on the one that interpret or give the meaning. It is our participation in the event that makes it meaningful.
If we look at coincidences as opportunities, then they become meaningful. Once they become meaningful they allow us a heightened form of creativity through a deeper awareness of a greater reality that holds the key to our destiny. So we can think of them as direct clues designed to move along a distinct pathway that will reveal to us the secrets of our own soul's purpose as an evolutionary process that exists in a state of cooperation with a greater more encompassing process ( Meaningful Coincidences – "Synchronicity that forms Destiny" by Linda Gadbois). Modern physicists specially the quantum physicists have offered an explanation for such coincidences which otherwise can't be explained by normal laws of classical physics.
In physics, nonlocality is a direct influence of one object on another distant object, in violation of the principle of locality. Non-locality means an instantaneous communication (or influence) without any exchange of signal through space-time. According to Amit Goswami in 'Self Aware Universe', Carl Jung had a term for the
transcendent domain of consciousness wherein lies the common cause of synchronous events - collective conscious. It is called unconscious because we are unaware of the nonlocal nature of these events. Jung
discovered empirically that in addition to the Freudian personal unconscious, there is trans personal collective aspect of our unconscious that must operate outside space-time, that must benonlocal since it seems to be independent of geographical origin, culture or time.
together; these are some sort of occurrences of improbable events. We generally treat such coincidences as merely accidental or random events. However, a famous Swedish psychologist/physicist Carl Jung (1875-1961) for the first time coined the term 'synchronicity' to explain such incidences as 'meaningful coincidences' that are not related by any casual events. His concept of synchronicity came through many surprising coincidences his patients shared with him during his practice time, especially as he began to realize that the
occurrences went beyond what could be attributed to mere chances. Since then this subject has been widely deliberated and researched even by the modern physicists especially in the field of quantum physics.
According to Wikipedia, synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. To count as synchronicity, the events should be
unlikely to occur together by chance. Deepak Chopra in his book entitled Power, Freedom and Grace explained this phenomenon as "though a coincidence may seem to be an accident, in truth there is no such
thing as accident or random event. What we call an accident or a random event, is the nonlocal correlation of the universal mind. Every event is being orchestrated by infinite consciousness, and every event is a conspiracy of infinity of events. Though we may not understand it, the essential truth of the universe is that it's synchronistic and coincidental. Everything is connected with everything else, and if we are in sync with the universe, then we experience synchronicity. The more connected we are the more we experience coincident or simultaneous events".
James Redfield, a famous American author who is notable for one of the most successful books for all times titled 'The Celestine Prophecy' on the New Age Movement. He describes the first insight about following meaningful coincidences in the 'Celestine Prophecy'. He explains that "coincidences, if followed through, are
seen as a way of evolving, to a higher level of vibration. When we are in the flow we experience more synchronous events, more pleasure and less pain. The flow of coincidences is our path to higher ground".
It's true that if we start noticing carefully then such coincidences in our life are not very rare and we can certainly find out the hidden meaning behind those meaningful events. Moreover if study how life has been created on this universe then we find that there are great numbers of incredible and improbable coincidences through which life has originated. In fact, the entire universe is built on an almost infinite number of incredible improbabilities. Perhaps the greatest of all these improbabilities is our own existence as human beings. It can
be clearly established that synchronicity arises from a chain of causality that originates outside physical reality. Since we cannot see where the chain of those events begins and when and where the initial cause arises, the phenomenon is considered acausal. Synchronicities are whole packets of cause and effect spanning past,
present, and future from an alternate timeline that are instantly inserted into the original timeline as a result of intention (Deepak Chopra).
There is now a widely accepted views that synchronicity happens to everyone in their lifetime but very few people are able to comprehend and appreciate those incidents, which otherwise or superficially look random and ill-logical. Such events have for a bigger and meaningful purpose for their life as they are supposed to be turning points of their destiny. The full appreciation of synchronicity is nothing less than our personal connection with the higher intelligence (or we may call God). Synchronicity can be seen as mini miracles through which an infinite consciousness which is the ground of every being manifests itself into our lives. Hence one should accept such kind of coincidences as important guidance from the higher Consciousness or
God. They lead us to a pathway/direction, most appropriate on the long run for our life hence, those incidents should be carefully interpreted and we should derive their profound meaning. We should also keep this in mind that the meaning is not evident in that incident/event itself, but is based solely on the one that interpret or give the meaning. It is our participation in the event that makes it meaningful.
If we look at coincidences as opportunities, then they become meaningful. Once they become meaningful they allow us a heightened form of creativity through a deeper awareness of a greater reality that holds the key to our destiny. So we can think of them as direct clues designed to move along a distinct pathway that will reveal to us the secrets of our own soul's purpose as an evolutionary process that exists in a state of cooperation with a greater more encompassing process ( Meaningful Coincidences – "Synchronicity that forms Destiny" by Linda Gadbois). Modern physicists specially the quantum physicists have offered an explanation for such coincidences which otherwise can't be explained by normal laws of classical physics.
In physics, nonlocality is a direct influence of one object on another distant object, in violation of the principle of locality. Non-locality means an instantaneous communication (or influence) without any exchange of signal through space-time. According to Amit Goswami in 'Self Aware Universe', Carl Jung had a term for the
transcendent domain of consciousness wherein lies the common cause of synchronous events - collective conscious. It is called unconscious because we are unaware of the nonlocal nature of these events. Jung
discovered empirically that in addition to the Freudian personal unconscious, there is trans personal collective aspect of our unconscious that must operate outside space-time, that must benonlocal since it seems to be independent of geographical origin, culture or time.
JOURNAL: WHAT I LEARNED IN MY LIFE
I am making an attempt to recapitulate what I have so far learnt in my life. The process of learning and off course unlearning too is continuous and subjected to changes as we grow psychologically and spiritually in our life time. In this blog I have explained many of these lessons in greater detail.
1. Life can never be smooth. Very often we feel jerks as if we are on rollercoaster ride.
2. While traveling along the undulating road, we learn lessons about life as we come across success and failure, pain and joy, happiness and suffering.
3. Fear of suffering is far more painful than the suffering itself. That's why we fear old age and not the death.
4. We do have a vast ability to change and shape not only our self but also others depending upon how we choose to think, behave and act with others.
5. True and dependable friends are always very few. Most of the time, their numbers do not exceed the magic figure of 10.
6. We get more and more mystified and bewildered if we start exploring/searching answers for the mysteries surrounding our life.
7. We all need God not only for emotional and psychological support but for finding answers to solve life's major puzzles.
8. We all have a very limited capacity to know the true reality around us and the world. The reality we perceive is largely illusionary and very far from the ultimate reality.
9. Pain and suffering very often act like a catalyst in speeding up our spiritual journey.
10. Though we come into this world with a genetically pre-determined psychosomatic body but we have a huge potential to change our behavior, lifestyle, thinking pattern and actions (through neuroplaticity).
11. On quite a few occasions, we come across meaningful coincidences (called synchronicity) but we fail to comprehend those events. However, we do realize the importance of such events later on.
12. Uncertainty and change are the fundamental features of our life and the surrounding world. Accepting that all things – you, me, my body, the world, the universe change all the time can solve half of our problems.
13. Hard conditioning of our behavior and role of subconscious mind in our decision making and actions play a vital role in shaping our destiny.
14. Human nature is fundamentally very fragile because of undercurrent feeling of fear and anxiety (though mostly unreal and unfounded) we encounter most of the time in our life.
15. Race for acquiring things like money, status and power that govern the materialistic world has destroyed the very spiritual nature of man.
16. The most destructive habit in us is allowing our mind to wander and indulge in negative thoughts and emotions like anger and hatred,
17. The world around us is merely a reflection of what happens in our inner world.
18. The worst thing in life would be without hope, faith and love.
19. Small and minor incidents and actions can sometimes have vast and devastating effects on our life and they can change the direction of life's journey.
1. Life can never be smooth. Very often we feel jerks as if we are on rollercoaster ride.
2. While traveling along the undulating road, we learn lessons about life as we come across success and failure, pain and joy, happiness and suffering.
3. Fear of suffering is far more painful than the suffering itself. That's why we fear old age and not the death.
4. We do have a vast ability to change and shape not only our self but also others depending upon how we choose to think, behave and act with others.
5. True and dependable friends are always very few. Most of the time, their numbers do not exceed the magic figure of 10.
6. We get more and more mystified and bewildered if we start exploring/searching answers for the mysteries surrounding our life.
7. We all need God not only for emotional and psychological support but for finding answers to solve life's major puzzles.
8. We all have a very limited capacity to know the true reality around us and the world. The reality we perceive is largely illusionary and very far from the ultimate reality.
9. Pain and suffering very often act like a catalyst in speeding up our spiritual journey.
10. Though we come into this world with a genetically pre-determined psychosomatic body but we have a huge potential to change our behavior, lifestyle, thinking pattern and actions (through neuroplaticity).
11. On quite a few occasions, we come across meaningful coincidences (called synchronicity) but we fail to comprehend those events. However, we do realize the importance of such events later on.
12. Uncertainty and change are the fundamental features of our life and the surrounding world. Accepting that all things – you, me, my body, the world, the universe change all the time can solve half of our problems.
13. Hard conditioning of our behavior and role of subconscious mind in our decision making and actions play a vital role in shaping our destiny.
14. Human nature is fundamentally very fragile because of undercurrent feeling of fear and anxiety (though mostly unreal and unfounded) we encounter most of the time in our life.
15. Race for acquiring things like money, status and power that govern the materialistic world has destroyed the very spiritual nature of man.
16. The most destructive habit in us is allowing our mind to wander and indulge in negative thoughts and emotions like anger and hatred,
17. The world around us is merely a reflection of what happens in our inner world.
18. The worst thing in life would be without hope, faith and love.
19. Small and minor incidents and actions can sometimes have vast and devastating effects on our life and they can change the direction of life's journey.
SPIRITUAL: INNER SELF
Existence of 'inner self' or we often call it 'soul' has always been a point of philosophical discussion as there is no evidence to indicate its existence in this materialistic world where we always look for empirical evidences. Many a times, we call it just an illusion of our mind. Its presence is hardly felt especially when we lead a busy and enjoyable life as we are totally lost in pleasure and joy in power and money driven world. However, we realize its presence or existence when we start searching answers for bigger mysteries of life or when we
start following a spiritual pathway to attain sustainable happiness and peace in material world. .
Recently I came across a very interesting and thought provoking story or metaphor in The Spiritual Universe by Fred Allan Wolf, a theoretical physicist and writer on the subjects of quantum physics, consciousness, and their relationship. Before I further dwell on this so called 'inner self' or the 'soul' lets see how this story goes.
You suddenly find yourself as a passenger on a ship moving across the ocean. You are in the ship's bowels and it is pitch black. You are able to move around the inside the ship, but since you don't know where everything is and because of the darkness, you bump into things. Eventually, as time passes, you learn how to fuel the ship, to keep it maintained and running, and even how to control the steering mechanism, but since there are no portholes to look out, you can't see in which direction to go. Besides, once you get used to the darkness, there is lot to amuse you inside the ship: TV, movies and good things to eat, taste and sense. But, you still cannot see the outside, so you find a point to attempt steering.
The ship moving across a vast ocean appears to be drifting without direction. Once in a while you are buffeted about as the ship seems to take a different direction. You wonder why it takes such a meandering path, sometimes going this way and sometimes in just the opposite direction. At times, particularly when the ship's direction changes, you hear a vague, almost imperceptible voice coming from outside the ship. It is calling to you. You have heard the voice from outside before but have ignored it, thinking it was only your imagination. After a while you hardly hear the voice at all.
Then one day something goes terribly wrong. The ship appears to be jostling about, rolling, pitching and yawning violently. You feel lost and ill to the point of terror. You begin to cry out, seeking help, crying for a vision and healing. You curse the powers that have placed you in this predicament and now you insist on knowing where the ship is heading.
This story is a metaphor of our life. We are the self inside the ship and our inner self or soul is the person outside the ship whose faint voices we often hear but ignore them very conveniently. It shows that our inner self and the self (or our egoic self) both are engaged in a conflicting situation of duality, each somewhat helpless and incomplete without the help of the other, to control the ship which is our physical body moving through life. The self is totally identified with the body and mind, while the inner self or the soul remains
somewhat separate from materialistic concerns but in the moment of crisis, or during bad/difficult phase of life it tries to guide and help us if we are ready to hear its voice. Inner self always give messages through our heart and intuition and not the mind.
Our inner self also enables us to come out from the hard shell of ego provided we encourage it. However, we all love to hear our own voice (and not the voice of inner self) because it always agrees with what we do in our life. Our inner self or the soul always have our best interests at heart and know about everything we do. Inner self doesn't allow us to suffer but we, at times, when ignore to feel its voice make her suffer. Fred Alan in that book concludes by saying that humanity needs to listen until such times as the voice of inner self
or the soul is heard throughout the universe as the only voice of love and compassion that has ever existed.
start following a spiritual pathway to attain sustainable happiness and peace in material world. .
Recently I came across a very interesting and thought provoking story or metaphor in The Spiritual Universe by Fred Allan Wolf, a theoretical physicist and writer on the subjects of quantum physics, consciousness, and their relationship. Before I further dwell on this so called 'inner self' or the 'soul' lets see how this story goes.
You suddenly find yourself as a passenger on a ship moving across the ocean. You are in the ship's bowels and it is pitch black. You are able to move around the inside the ship, but since you don't know where everything is and because of the darkness, you bump into things. Eventually, as time passes, you learn how to fuel the ship, to keep it maintained and running, and even how to control the steering mechanism, but since there are no portholes to look out, you can't see in which direction to go. Besides, once you get used to the darkness, there is lot to amuse you inside the ship: TV, movies and good things to eat, taste and sense. But, you still cannot see the outside, so you find a point to attempt steering.
The ship moving across a vast ocean appears to be drifting without direction. Once in a while you are buffeted about as the ship seems to take a different direction. You wonder why it takes such a meandering path, sometimes going this way and sometimes in just the opposite direction. At times, particularly when the ship's direction changes, you hear a vague, almost imperceptible voice coming from outside the ship. It is calling to you. You have heard the voice from outside before but have ignored it, thinking it was only your imagination. After a while you hardly hear the voice at all.
Then one day something goes terribly wrong. The ship appears to be jostling about, rolling, pitching and yawning violently. You feel lost and ill to the point of terror. You begin to cry out, seeking help, crying for a vision and healing. You curse the powers that have placed you in this predicament and now you insist on knowing where the ship is heading.
This story is a metaphor of our life. We are the self inside the ship and our inner self or soul is the person outside the ship whose faint voices we often hear but ignore them very conveniently. It shows that our inner self and the self (or our egoic self) both are engaged in a conflicting situation of duality, each somewhat helpless and incomplete without the help of the other, to control the ship which is our physical body moving through life. The self is totally identified with the body and mind, while the inner self or the soul remains
somewhat separate from materialistic concerns but in the moment of crisis, or during bad/difficult phase of life it tries to guide and help us if we are ready to hear its voice. Inner self always give messages through our heart and intuition and not the mind.
Our inner self also enables us to come out from the hard shell of ego provided we encourage it. However, we all love to hear our own voice (and not the voice of inner self) because it always agrees with what we do in our life. Our inner self or the soul always have our best interests at heart and know about everything we do. Inner self doesn't allow us to suffer but we, at times, when ignore to feel its voice make her suffer. Fred Alan in that book concludes by saying that humanity needs to listen until such times as the voice of inner self
or the soul is heard throughout the universe as the only voice of love and compassion that has ever existed.
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: GET LOST WITH ME
Dear Future Soulmate,
Come here lover, we have much to explore. Come tumble into bed with me and hide beneath the sheets. Let us take each others clothes off, very slowly. I want to explore you gently. Let my hands run along every
inch of your skin. I want to find the places that make you gasp and moan. I want to find every flaw and scar on you, because that is what makes you, you.
I want to kiss you. Not just your mouth, but all over. I want to taste your skin with my tongue. I want the room to echo with the sounds of my kisses all over your body. I want to nibble on your most precious spots. I want to hear you moan for me.
Will you let me touch you all over? Can I run my hands over the arch of your back and let my fingertips trace your spine? I want to feel the goosebumps erupt beneath my touch. Can I squeeze your ass as my
hands run over it? I want to press my body into yours. I want to feel the closeness between you and I.
Touch me lover. Explore this new body in front of you. Let your fingers tell a story while your voice resonates in my ears. Press your lips against mine before letting your tongue trail down my neck. Bite my shoulders. Grab hold of my flesh with your hands and hold onto me tightly. Don't let me go. Make me yours. Make me yours during the time we have beneath these sheets.
Get lost with me. Get lost within me. Abandon yourself. Acquiesce to your passions. Forget everything around you. Look at me. Smell me. Feel me. Hear me. Taste me. I am yours. You are mine. Now let us take
each other.
Come here lover, we have much to explore. Come tumble into bed with me and hide beneath the sheets. Let us take each others clothes off, very slowly. I want to explore you gently. Let my hands run along every
inch of your skin. I want to find the places that make you gasp and moan. I want to find every flaw and scar on you, because that is what makes you, you.
I want to kiss you. Not just your mouth, but all over. I want to taste your skin with my tongue. I want the room to echo with the sounds of my kisses all over your body. I want to nibble on your most precious spots. I want to hear you moan for me.
Will you let me touch you all over? Can I run my hands over the arch of your back and let my fingertips trace your spine? I want to feel the goosebumps erupt beneath my touch. Can I squeeze your ass as my
hands run over it? I want to press my body into yours. I want to feel the closeness between you and I.
Touch me lover. Explore this new body in front of you. Let your fingers tell a story while your voice resonates in my ears. Press your lips against mine before letting your tongue trail down my neck. Bite my shoulders. Grab hold of my flesh with your hands and hold onto me tightly. Don't let me go. Make me yours. Make me yours during the time we have beneath these sheets.
Get lost with me. Get lost within me. Abandon yourself. Acquiesce to your passions. Forget everything around you. Look at me. Smell me. Feel me. Hear me. Taste me. I am yours. You are mine. Now let us take
each other.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
SURRENDER: WOMAN'S INABILITY TO SURENDER
A woman’s inability to ‘surrender’ so-to-speak, is to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships. Many people don’t want to ‘make the first move’, say I love you too much, be vulnerable to their partner/show their vulnerability, show love as often as they should, because they fear that the other person may then have more ‘power’, or ‘control’ of the situation.
The reality is that, no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come. Pain is a part of life. It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged. This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’, or the idea that ‘the man is oppressing the woman’, and that the women is WEAK. This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it seems that she is ‘weak’.
In a loving relationship, there is no such thing as power, or control. Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart. And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy. The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and wiling to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other.
The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy, is not becoming more masculine to survive, no longer fearing it; and needing to stand up to it or fight it – but to trust it and let it protect you, and to actually let it have its own role in your life. That’s what it’s there for.Surrendering means letting go. And trusting, and letting a man take care of you when you need it. It’s also about letting him in, and liberating yourself from your fears.
Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. So many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.
What does surrendering to masculine energy involve?
- You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in. Femininity is beautiful, and any masculine man will live AND die for it. The masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly. All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him. Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire (get them and watch them if you haven’t already) The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.
- The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man. If you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness, let go of the past hurts, the pains, the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you let go of your need to be ‘in control’, let go of the need to be ‘strong’ and vicious. Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life, or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – and not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.
- Don’t resist the masculine energy.The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of. A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. It’s like the positive and negative charges. This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen. Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family. If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex is so important in a relationship. If sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman. You become more like housemates or companions.
Most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate. And, intimacy is not just about sex. You must make your man feel important, and not second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. Women always find things to worry about or think about!
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – RUMI
The reality is that, no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come. Pain is a part of life. It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged. This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’, or the idea that ‘the man is oppressing the woman’, and that the women is WEAK. This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it seems that she is ‘weak’.
In a loving relationship, there is no such thing as power, or control. Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart. And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy. The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and wiling to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other.
The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy, is not becoming more masculine to survive, no longer fearing it; and needing to stand up to it or fight it – but to trust it and let it protect you, and to actually let it have its own role in your life. That’s what it’s there for.Surrendering means letting go. And trusting, and letting a man take care of you when you need it. It’s also about letting him in, and liberating yourself from your fears.
Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. So many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.
What does surrendering to masculine energy involve?
- You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in. Femininity is beautiful, and any masculine man will live AND die for it. The masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly. All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him. Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire (get them and watch them if you haven’t already) The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.
- The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man. If you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness, let go of the past hurts, the pains, the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you let go of your need to be ‘in control’, let go of the need to be ‘strong’ and vicious. Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life, or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – and not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.
- Don’t resist the masculine energy.The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of. A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. It’s like the positive and negative charges. This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen. Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family. If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex is so important in a relationship. If sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman. You become more like housemates or companions.
Most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate. And, intimacy is not just about sex. You must make your man feel important, and not second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. Women always find things to worry about or think about!
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – RUMI
LOVE: WRITING DOWN EVERYTHING I AM FEELING...TAKING IT OUT OF MY SOUL
All of us have had this experience. At some point, we have each said through our tears, “I’m suffering for a love that’s not worth it.” We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules. But ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. Those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. They have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced and shared what Saint Paul called “the madness of saintliness.” They have been joyful—because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is an act of total surrender.
Perhaps love makes us old before our time—or young, if youth has passed. But how can I not recall those moments? That is why I write—to try to turn sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance.
All love stories are the same.
You have to take risks, We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.
Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she wont’ suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back—and at some point everyone looks back—she will hear her heart saying, “What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life.”
Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life’s magic moments will have already passed them by.
But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.
For when those walls come down, then loves takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn’t even matter whether we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control.
Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.
Life takes us by surprise and orders us to move toward the unknown—even when we don’t want to and when we think we don’t need to.
“I am just like everyone else who listens to their heart: a person who is enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. It’s just that the Other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action.”“But there is suffering in life, And there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you’re fighting for.”
Yes, my mind was wandering. I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart—someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that I would lose her the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we’d know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn’t have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.
I began to imagine how I would like to be living right at that moment. I wanted to be happy, curious, joyful—living every moment intensely, drinking the water of life thirstily. Believing again in my dreams. Able to fight for what I wanted. Loving a woman who loved me.
But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.
The moment we begin to seek love, love beings to seek us.And to save us.
I also knew that from this moment on I was going to experience heaven and hell, joy and pain, dreams and hopelessness; that I would no longer be capable of containing the winds that blew from the hidden corners of my soul. I knew that from this moment on love would be my guide—and that it had waited to lead me ever since childhood, when I had felt love for the first time. The truth is, I had never forgotten love, even when it had deemed me unworthy of fighting for it. But love had been difficult, and I had been reluctant to cross its frontiers.
The mysteries of life fascinated me, and I wanted to understand them better. I looked for signs that would tell me that someone knew something.Truth resides where there is faith! I looked around again at the interior of the church—the worn stones, fallen and replaced so many times. What had made human beings so insistent?
Faith.
If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If she has to make a choice, may she make it now. Then I will either wait for her or forget her. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.
Try, I said to myself. All you have to do is open your mouth and have the courage to say things you don’t understand. Try!
Simply having the courage to say senseless things made me euphoric. I was free, with no need to seek or to give explanations for what I was doing. This freedom lifted me to the heavens—where a greater love, one that forgives everything and never allows you to feel abandoned, once again enveloped me.
Love doesn’t ask many questions, because if we stop to think we become fearful. It’s an inexplicable fear; it’s difficult even to describe it. Maybe it’s the fear of being scorned, of not being accepted, or of breaking the spell. It’s ridiculous, but that’s the way it is. That’s why you don’t ask—you act. As you’ve said many times, you have to take risks.”
I will not talk to my own darkness anymore, I promised myself, closing the door on the Other. A fall from the third floor hurts as much as a fall from the hundredth.If I have to fall, may it be from a high place.
Our parents taught us to be careful with glasses and with our bodies. Break the glass, please—and free us from all these damned rules, from needing to find an explanation for everything, from doing only what others approve of.
“Break the glass,” I said again.
She stared at me. Then, slowly, she slid her hand along the tablecloth to the glass. And with a sudden movement, she pushed it to the floor.
The sound of the breaking glass caught the waiter’s attention. Rather than apologize for having broken the glass, he looked at me, smiling—and I smiled back.
“Doesn’t matter,” shouted the waiter.
But she wasn’t listening. She had stood, seized my hair in her hands, and was kissing me.
I clutched at her hair, too, and squeezed her with all my strength, biting her lips and feeling her tongue move in my mouth. This was the kiss I had waited for so long—a kiss born by the rivers of our childhood, when we didn’t yet know what love meant. A kiss that had been suspended in the air as we grew, that had traveled the world in the souvenir of a medal, and that had remained hidden behind piles of books. A kiss that had been lost so many times and now was found. In the moment of that kiss were years of searching, disillusionment, and impossible dreams.I kissed her hard; the few people there in the bar must have been thinking that all they were seeing was just a kiss. They didn’t know that this kiss stood for my whole life—and his life, as well. The life of anyone who has waited, dreamed, and searched for their true path.The moment of that kiss contained every happy moment I had ever lived.
Then the world changes, and we change with it.
But I didn’t want to be that way anymore. Fate had returned to me what had been mine and now offered me the chance to change myself and the world.
But how to explain suffering because of a woman? It’s not explainable. With that kind of suffering, a person feels as if they’re in hell, because there is no nobility, no greatness—only misery.
“Jesus said, ‘Let the dead bury the dead’ because he knew that there is no such thing as death. Life existed before we were born and will continue to exist after we leave this world.”
My eyes filled with tears.
“It’s the same with love,” “It existed before and will go on forever.”
All love stories have much in common. I went through the same thing at one point in my life. But that’s not what I remember. What I remember is that love returned in the form of another woman, new hopes, and new dreams.”
Write down everything you’re feeling. Take it out of your soul, put it on the paper,
Perhaps love makes us old before our time—or young, if youth has passed. But how can I not recall those moments? That is why I write—to try to turn sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance.
All love stories are the same.
You have to take risks, We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.
Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she wont’ suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back—and at some point everyone looks back—she will hear her heart saying, “What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life.”
Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life’s magic moments will have already passed them by.
But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.
For when those walls come down, then loves takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn’t even matter whether we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control.
Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.
Life takes us by surprise and orders us to move toward the unknown—even when we don’t want to and when we think we don’t need to.
“I am just like everyone else who listens to their heart: a person who is enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. It’s just that the Other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action.”“But there is suffering in life, And there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you’re fighting for.”
Yes, my mind was wandering. I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart—someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that I would lose her the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we’d know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn’t have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.
I began to imagine how I would like to be living right at that moment. I wanted to be happy, curious, joyful—living every moment intensely, drinking the water of life thirstily. Believing again in my dreams. Able to fight for what I wanted. Loving a woman who loved me.
But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.
The moment we begin to seek love, love beings to seek us.And to save us.
I also knew that from this moment on I was going to experience heaven and hell, joy and pain, dreams and hopelessness; that I would no longer be capable of containing the winds that blew from the hidden corners of my soul. I knew that from this moment on love would be my guide—and that it had waited to lead me ever since childhood, when I had felt love for the first time. The truth is, I had never forgotten love, even when it had deemed me unworthy of fighting for it. But love had been difficult, and I had been reluctant to cross its frontiers.
The mysteries of life fascinated me, and I wanted to understand them better. I looked for signs that would tell me that someone knew something.Truth resides where there is faith! I looked around again at the interior of the church—the worn stones, fallen and replaced so many times. What had made human beings so insistent?
Faith.
If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If she has to make a choice, may she make it now. Then I will either wait for her or forget her. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.
Try, I said to myself. All you have to do is open your mouth and have the courage to say things you don’t understand. Try!
Simply having the courage to say senseless things made me euphoric. I was free, with no need to seek or to give explanations for what I was doing. This freedom lifted me to the heavens—where a greater love, one that forgives everything and never allows you to feel abandoned, once again enveloped me.
Love doesn’t ask many questions, because if we stop to think we become fearful. It’s an inexplicable fear; it’s difficult even to describe it. Maybe it’s the fear of being scorned, of not being accepted, or of breaking the spell. It’s ridiculous, but that’s the way it is. That’s why you don’t ask—you act. As you’ve said many times, you have to take risks.”
I will not talk to my own darkness anymore, I promised myself, closing the door on the Other. A fall from the third floor hurts as much as a fall from the hundredth.If I have to fall, may it be from a high place.
Our parents taught us to be careful with glasses and with our bodies. Break the glass, please—and free us from all these damned rules, from needing to find an explanation for everything, from doing only what others approve of.
“Break the glass,” I said again.
She stared at me. Then, slowly, she slid her hand along the tablecloth to the glass. And with a sudden movement, she pushed it to the floor.
The sound of the breaking glass caught the waiter’s attention. Rather than apologize for having broken the glass, he looked at me, smiling—and I smiled back.
“Doesn’t matter,” shouted the waiter.
But she wasn’t listening. She had stood, seized my hair in her hands, and was kissing me.
I clutched at her hair, too, and squeezed her with all my strength, biting her lips and feeling her tongue move in my mouth. This was the kiss I had waited for so long—a kiss born by the rivers of our childhood, when we didn’t yet know what love meant. A kiss that had been suspended in the air as we grew, that had traveled the world in the souvenir of a medal, and that had remained hidden behind piles of books. A kiss that had been lost so many times and now was found. In the moment of that kiss were years of searching, disillusionment, and impossible dreams.I kissed her hard; the few people there in the bar must have been thinking that all they were seeing was just a kiss. They didn’t know that this kiss stood for my whole life—and his life, as well. The life of anyone who has waited, dreamed, and searched for their true path.The moment of that kiss contained every happy moment I had ever lived.
Then the world changes, and we change with it.
But I didn’t want to be that way anymore. Fate had returned to me what had been mine and now offered me the chance to change myself and the world.
But how to explain suffering because of a woman? It’s not explainable. With that kind of suffering, a person feels as if they’re in hell, because there is no nobility, no greatness—only misery.
“Jesus said, ‘Let the dead bury the dead’ because he knew that there is no such thing as death. Life existed before we were born and will continue to exist after we leave this world.”
My eyes filled with tears.
“It’s the same with love,” “It existed before and will go on forever.”
All love stories have much in common. I went through the same thing at one point in my life. But that’s not what I remember. What I remember is that love returned in the form of another woman, new hopes, and new dreams.”
Write down everything you’re feeling. Take it out of your soul, put it on the paper,
PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: FIND ME AMAZING ENOUGH TO BE WITH FOREVER
Dearest Future Love,
Confusing settling with love, fearing love and fearing loss are a few of the reasons that although I've been with women who were like soul mates, I am not with them any more.When you find a soul mate, do your best to keep her.I can tell you from experience, that each time you start searching for a soul mate, it gets harder and harder.You owe it to yourself, you owe it to her and you owe it to all of us tempted into believing that people have souls, that pairs of these souls are meant for each other and that sometimes these people cross paths, connect, fall in love and the two of you get to live happily ever after.Over the past couple of years I've had a handful of serious relationships and was married once. As much as I enjoy the many thrills of single life, I'm more a romantic. I truly favor the passion and comfort of an exclusive partnership with an amazing woman.
I wish sometimes...one woman out there...someone who is beautiful and kind would find me amazing enough to be with me forever.
Confusing settling with love, fearing love and fearing loss are a few of the reasons that although I've been with women who were like soul mates, I am not with them any more.When you find a soul mate, do your best to keep her.I can tell you from experience, that each time you start searching for a soul mate, it gets harder and harder.You owe it to yourself, you owe it to her and you owe it to all of us tempted into believing that people have souls, that pairs of these souls are meant for each other and that sometimes these people cross paths, connect, fall in love and the two of you get to live happily ever after.Over the past couple of years I've had a handful of serious relationships and was married once. As much as I enjoy the many thrills of single life, I'm more a romantic. I truly favor the passion and comfort of an exclusive partnership with an amazing woman.
I wish sometimes...one woman out there...someone who is beautiful and kind would find me amazing enough to be with me forever.
DATING/ LOVE: THE DIVINE IN ME GREETS THAT WHICH IS OF THE DIVINE IN YOU
Throughout our lifetimes, we have certainly come upon an individual to whom we’re inclined. Suddenly, you feel this sense of “knowing” – though you’ve never met that person before. And, it is in that “chance meeting” that we discover how much alike we are. The “chance meeting,” however, is no accident; a matter of fact, it is not by chance at all. There are no “accidents” in life. Remember, every encounter and every facet of our lives is laid out for us to explore that which is of the Divine in me greets that which is of the Divine in you.
Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says that only 5 percent of the population is date-able? Elaine asks, "Then how are the other 95 percent getting together?" Jerry's response? "Alcohol."
I was getting a lots of responds--but no one I really wanted to date. And the woman I did like already had boylfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! but being in New York seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by models (honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned, long-legged, 6-foot-tall Ukrainian models) who are looking for the perfect guy who is either rich, tall, or handsome.
And then I was thinking we're all such smart, funny and wonderful people, and so many people would be lucky to have us. Why does it often take a relationship to realize that? Plus, as my mom says, "It only takes one person to have met the love of your life!" A while ago, I heard another great quote: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?" That awesome quote reveals how much we sometimes worry about our dating lives when we could be relaxing and enjoying other parts of our lives. Suddenly, you feel this sense of “knowing” – though you’ve never met that person before. And, it is in that “chance meeting” that we discover how much alike we are. The “chance meeting,” however, is no accident; a matter of fact, it is not by chance at all. There are no “accidents” in life. Remember, every encounter and every facet of our lives is laid out for us to explore that which is of the Divine in me greets that which is of the Divine in you.
Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says that only 5 percent of the population is date-able? Elaine asks, "Then how are the other 95 percent getting together?" Jerry's response? "Alcohol."
I was getting a lots of responds--but no one I really wanted to date. And the woman I did like already had boylfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! but being in New York seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by models (honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned, long-legged, 6-foot-tall Ukrainian models) who are looking for the perfect guy who is either rich, tall, or handsome.
And then I was thinking we're all such smart, funny and wonderful people, and so many people would be lucky to have us. Why does it often take a relationship to realize that? Plus, as my mom says, "It only takes one person to have met the love of your life!" A while ago, I heard another great quote: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?" That awesome quote reveals how much we sometimes worry about our dating lives when we could be relaxing and enjoying other parts of our lives.
Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says that only 5 percent of the population is date-able? Elaine asks, "Then how are the other 95 percent getting together?" Jerry's response? "Alcohol."
I was getting a lots of responds--but no one I really wanted to date. And the woman I did like already had boylfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! but being in New York seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by models (honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned, long-legged, 6-foot-tall Ukrainian models) who are looking for the perfect guy who is either rich, tall, or handsome.
And then I was thinking we're all such smart, funny and wonderful people, and so many people would be lucky to have us. Why does it often take a relationship to realize that? Plus, as my mom says, "It only takes one person to have met the love of your life!" A while ago, I heard another great quote: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?" That awesome quote reveals how much we sometimes worry about our dating lives when we could be relaxing and enjoying other parts of our lives. Suddenly, you feel this sense of “knowing” – though you’ve never met that person before. And, it is in that “chance meeting” that we discover how much alike we are. The “chance meeting,” however, is no accident; a matter of fact, it is not by chance at all. There are no “accidents” in life. Remember, every encounter and every facet of our lives is laid out for us to explore that which is of the Divine in me greets that which is of the Divine in you.
Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry says that only 5 percent of the population is date-able? Elaine asks, "Then how are the other 95 percent getting together?" Jerry's response? "Alcohol."
I was getting a lots of responds--but no one I really wanted to date. And the woman I did like already had boylfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! but being in New York seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by models (honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned, long-legged, 6-foot-tall Ukrainian models) who are looking for the perfect guy who is either rich, tall, or handsome.
And then I was thinking we're all such smart, funny and wonderful people, and so many people would be lucky to have us. Why does it often take a relationship to realize that? Plus, as my mom says, "It only takes one person to have met the love of your life!" A while ago, I heard another great quote: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?" That awesome quote reveals how much we sometimes worry about our dating lives when we could be relaxing and enjoying other parts of our lives.
DATING: IT IS SO FRUSTRATING
It’s so frustrating when you can’t find the woman of your dreams. You have to plough through dates and failed relationships. Each time you get your hopes up high when you start dating a new person…. only…. to have them broken. That’s once you realize the other person isn’t what you thought they were. And you’re back to more lonely evenings spent alone. More holidays alone. More weekends alone. It’s a vicious circle.And all the time, the clock is ticking. The years go by so quickly nowadays. And we’re not getting any younger. Those are the years we want to settle down in a loving relationship and start a family.
The Law of Attraction states “like” must attract “like.” So if we’re sending out negative energy which is low frequency, we receive negative experiences back into our lives.On the other hand, if we send out higher energy which is high frequency, then we receive positive experiences into our lives.Think of it like this: if you’re thinking all the time “I can’t find my ideal partner, I can’t find my ideal partner” guess what happens? Well, because that’s the vibration you’re sending out, you’re going to get what you sent out as Law of Attraction is the outcome. The result?Your ideal partner is never going to appear. And you’re going to keep attracting the wrong partners, who continually show up in your life. And so it goes on and on. That’s the reason why if you attract the “wrong type” of person into your life then sooner or later you attract another “wrong type” of person again
The Law of Attraction states “like” must attract “like.” So if we’re sending out negative energy which is low frequency, we receive negative experiences back into our lives.On the other hand, if we send out higher energy which is high frequency, then we receive positive experiences into our lives.Think of it like this: if you’re thinking all the time “I can’t find my ideal partner, I can’t find my ideal partner” guess what happens? Well, because that’s the vibration you’re sending out, you’re going to get what you sent out as Law of Attraction is the outcome. The result?Your ideal partner is never going to appear. And you’re going to keep attracting the wrong partners, who continually show up in your life. And so it goes on and on. That’s the reason why if you attract the “wrong type” of person into your life then sooner or later you attract another “wrong type” of person again
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