LOVE/ DATING: SOMETIMES IT EASY TO SHUT DOWN

After a few bad relationships, it's so easy to shut down, give up, and stop believing that the right person is out there for us. But I can't stop my hearts form yearn to fall in love, but my minds insist it's not possible, and I enter into a tug-of-war with myself. It's as if one part of me is screaming, Yes! I deserve a great relationship! while another part insists, I'll never find her. When our beliefs contradict our desires, we experience an inner conflict that not only paralyzes us, but can actually prevent us from recognizing the possibilities for love that exist all around us.

Every girl is beautiful. It just takes the right guy to see it.We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The last woman I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all of this; there is always that one person you love who becomes that definition...it happen to me during my residency as a doctor. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about someone else.

So what is it which makes a man and a woman know that they, of all other men and women in the world, belong to each other? Is it no more than chance and meeting? no more than being alive together in the world at the same time? Is it only a curve of the throat, a line of the chin, the way the eyes are set, a way of speaking? Or is it something deeper and stranger, something beyond meeting, something beyond chance and fortune? Are there others, in other times of the world, whom we should have loved, who would have loved us? Is there, perhaps, one soul among all others--among all who have lived, the endless generations, from world's end to world's end--who must love us or die? And whom we must love, in turn--whom we must seek all our lives long--headlong and homesick--until the end?

The universal Law of Attraction states that we draw to us those people, events, and circumstances that match our inner state of being. In other words, we attract experiences that are consistent with our beliefs. If we believe that there is plenty of love in the world and we are worthy of giving and receiving that love, we will attract a different quality of relationships than someone who believes in scarcity or feels unworthy of happiness. If we believe the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experience. If we believe the world is a chaotic, stressful, and fearful place, then eventually that will become our reality. So, believing and knowing that your soulmate is out there is a critical first step.

All souls exchange energy with one another. You have your special, unique energies that you’re exchanging in many areas of life –romantically, professionally and socially..just like I do. What I am doing right now is is sending out my energy to the universe through my word..hoping that it will attract similar energy. Most people aren’t conscious of what they’re actually bringing to others, So what happens when two people interact is an exchange of two energy.

People who are unselfish in their desire to love others usually find people of like mind and become soul mates together. It's all about their energy that they sent out to the universe. This is a process, however, so there are no guarantees. One person may think the other is a soul mate, but unless the two of them agree to build that sort of bond, it won't evolve. People who say they can't find a soul mate usually have unreasonable expectations that no one can meet. I'm not suggesting that anyone should lower their standards and settle, but to find a real soul mate, you have to look for a real person, someone who has warts and makes mistakes as we all do.

So, often when you have a strong connection like that with someone, whether it’s short-lived or long-lasting, you have to ask...Is that person a soul mate?The important question to ask is, do you and this person have a lot of energy to exchange with one another on a long-term basis in a way that serves you both? Recognizing a soul mate by the supreme level of comfort and security we feel with that person doesn't mean that there aren't issues that remain to be ironed out. Rather, it means we know intuitively that we can resolve issues with our soul mate without losing respect. I think a soulmate is... a person who makes you be the most you, you can possibly be. A soul mate is... the person... who forces your soul to grow the most. Not all growth feels good.Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

We make ‘appointments’ and agreements with certain souls and I want to make an appointment with yours..I think the reason why we make those soul-level agreements to meet up is because we want to exchange energy and teach each other a little something through our interaction. Our soul…tries to direct us to individuals who share our purpose in life, complement our strengths, and supplement our weaknesses. But there is no guarantee that these ideal mates are going to look the way we expect, or be of our own background. Our soulmates seldom appeal to our personality—our ego. That’s why they are called soulmates rather than egomates. A soul mate is…someone whose way of viewing life is not necessarily the same as yours but complements yours, so that there is not a compromise, there is a complement. For every person, there are thousands of soul mates who can be found all over the world, and each of those people has thousands of soul mates too. Everyone you meet is a potential soul mate. Anyone who is LIVING could be a soul mate for anyone else. People create soul mates..I think... It's not just your destiny - it's also your choice. When two people love each other and work to build a lasting, fulfilling partnership, they can become soul mates. And yes, people always find each other, if that's what they want to do. To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.

When love isn’t in our lives, it’s on the way. If you know that a special guest is coming at five o’clock, do you spend the day messing up the home? Of course not. You prepare. And that is what we should do for love.The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy. Everyday we encounter lots of people. We walk by them. We sit next to them, but that doesn't necessarily mean we make eye contact or talk to them. Loneliness is part of the human condition, but we are eager to communicate and better understand our surroundings. What happens when you see someone that makes you want to make eye contact? Striking up a conversation with a complete stranger actually takes guts and courage, it's not as easy as you may think. Most of the time...i don't have the courage to go up to someone and that is because of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown.

What if it's your only chance? Do you seize the moment? Or do you let it escape you forever? Chance is that moment when two or more events occur at one time, but if that moment is not seized, that moment becomes nothing. We need those something moments, because those moments can change your life. That single moment can become something permanent. This is what both characters are trying to figure out in their own lives. And this is also something I'm trying to incorporate into my own life. If there's something you want, you should go for it. This is the life philosophy that I want to live by.

What do you think my chances might be of making the dream I wrote about come true. One click of the mouse could change your life and mine forever. Think about this for a moment…one choice, just one, can change your life forever. Simply put, your life today is what your choices have made it, but with new choices, you can change directions this very moment. For me, that idea alone is highly motivational because it offers tremendous hope, regardless of circumstances, for a better tomorrow. There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts. My life has taught me that life presents opportunities at the strangest times and in the strangest places. Often times when you least expect it. Open your mind to them. You never know what you might miss out on if you don't.

Shyness tells a story of fear and courage. Fear is what stands between you and me and courage is what we both need to make our dream become a reality. A story about two people who meet is quite ordinary, but a story about us has the potential to be extraordinary. The story is set in the magical, romantic internet. Any place can be magical, because we make our experiences and memories. During this chance meeting meeting right now..through my words....are, the two characters who find themselves in the same place at the same time and they share an open dialogue about things that matter and things that don't matter.
I’m really good at

POETRY IT WAS YOU YOU...

There is no begining, no end.
There is only the moment.
Here hope has existence,
peace has meaning,
and love fills
my very heart and soul.

2

Thunder is rolling here. Night is still out and lightning rips the sky. You can feel the power of the storm...It is wonderful feeling so much power, like rage going thru the sky, fearful, but at the same time glorious, beautiful, sensuous, stimulating...fear and love wrapped together as one. The power is the same...as the raging storm. It makes you tremble with a passion you have never known before. Each pore of your body responds to the caress of the storm, the rolling thunder, the electrical charge of the air, it is breathtaking, it is stimulating, it is sensuous, this fear and desire in one...this forbidden yet attainable...this powerful storm...of love and rage, we share for such a brief time, in the expanse of the ages, but for eternity in our memories. Hidden in our hearts in the secret place we never reveal, but where we go to reflect upon the storm...of passion that we feel, that none other will ever know or share with us...the beauty of it...the sensuous calm of it...the infinite pleasure of this raging storm...forever in anticipation...of the moment when the rain will fall and I will know that you also feel this storm...


3
In the morning,
When you wake up,
Breakfast in bed
In front of you,

I will kiss you softly,
Like the kiss that you do;
I will hug you tightly,
Like no one else can do.

Even as we grow old,
I will always be here.
You will not feel alone,
As long as I am here with you.




4
Beyond my wildest dreams
we have touched...
a tangled web of love
weaved to the point of perfection.

we have smelt the fragrance of
passionate juices flowing from
orchids of intimacy.

we have tasted the sweetness of
each other on the tips of our tongues.

we have seen forever in each other's eyes.

we have heard the rhythm of each other's heart
echoing the strongest of desires.

Beyond my wildest dreams our senses are on fire.



5
At times I sit and ask myself the question,

why do I love you?

Why does the wind blow?

Why does the sun shine?

Why do the birds sing with such grace?

Why does the rain fall down on my face?

Why does the earth spin?

Why does the water reach the shore?

And please tell me...

why do I love you like I do?




6
As you look into her window,
you see her sitting there
looking at herself in the mirror,
tears falling from her beautiful brown eyes
onto her rosy red cheeks.
She seems to have lost her ability to love.
She once knew how it felt to love and to be loved,
but as she awoke in the middle of the night, crying...
It's gone, it's gone, it'll never come back.
Just like that scary dream,
her whole feeling of love was gone,
vanished into the dark hazy night,
never to come back.
Not understanding why a beautiful angel
isn't capable of loving...
How can that be?
Is it possible that she loved someone too much?
No one will ever know
how she became known as a Crying Angel,
but now every time you come across her,
she will be sitting in front of her mirror, crying,
praying love will come back to her.
She is tired of being a Crying Angel.


7
You stir in me such strong desires
my passion awaits to be set free,
Your touch, I fantasize puts me on fire
Like the rolling waves, our love starts out slowly
builds, then rushes to shore
Your scent, the taste of sweet desire
makes my body yearn for more
My mind gets lost in oblivion
as we journey toward the yellow moon
Our hearts seek new adventure
new dreams begin inside this darkened room
Like stars our bodies shimmer
as we romance in burning candlelight
Your body lying next to mine, touching
entwined together feels so right
Your eyes they capture my innocence
Fire, passion, embracing, loving
moving, kissing, sensing,
When we finally reach the moon
our hearts in mindful lock and keep
We'll embrace ourselves in each other's arms
in peaceful dreams we sleep....



8

It was you in the window
of my mind's wandering
In the mists
of a morning's softness
There among the flowers
reaching out to grasp the dew
Carpets of gold and blue
And you in white clouds
wandering in the dawn

It was you in my wandering
Gliding through the whispers
The roses of love,
blushing in their pink innocence
And you smiling
in quiet contemplation
of life's wonders
Yes, it was you in white
reflecting a morning's softness

It was you, you --
in the delightful dawning
Wandering in love with love
among the gold and blue
Caressing the rose in innocence, pink
Yes, you in love
A Spring sprung dance of delight
to greet my dream, my longing
Yes, it was you



9

How can I assume that
You are right here, beside me?
My world is gloomy without you,
Darkness and demons!
Wherever you are,
Please
Come back
And touch me with your love.
I am losing my faith...
Give me hope,
Give me faith,
Give me your love.

Years seem to have passed,
And I have shed a thousand teardrops
Just because I miss you,
Just because I miss your arms around me...
To hold me with a kiss in your eyes,
To love me with truth and love in your soul.

I miss you.
I miss your smile,
The way I used to look into your eyes,
Delighted with the stars inside,
The way you used to touch me with your love.

It is incomprehensible to make
This crazy world understand.
Only we together
Know how much
We care for each other.
The day
You took me in your arms,
I felt your heart beat,
I heard the rythm
Of your heart,
And you were speaking to me!
Oh! I do not care
For this thankless, crazy world,
But want to spend the rest of my days
Till my last breath departs
In your caring and loving arms.
I miss you extremely
And I love you eternally.

POETRY: YOU GUIDED ME AND GAVE ME YOUR LOVE

With you, I talk the way I long
To be able to talk to people. I
Talk and act, with you, the way
That is truly me. I don't talk
And act this way with a lot of
People, only a choice few; and
You are the most choice of
Them all. So, I want to tell you
Now: Thank you for letting me
Be myself with you and still
Loving me, even though you
Know the true me. Thank you
For not letting the fake me
Be around you but only my true
Self. I don't know how you do
It, but you do; and you still love me
At the same time.



2

he warmest shivers run down my spine when I think of you,
anticipating the look your beautiful eyes give me every time you look at me.
The happiness you've given me has melted
into my body and permeates through every inch of my skin.

My heart and soul actually smiles together for once.
Words can't even describe how happy you've made me.
I feel like this is the first time I've ever truly smiled
in my Life.

I had kept my heart locked away deep inside for a very long time,
just waiting to be released.
And I think you might be the one who can finally open it.

Your eyes don't just look at me, they see me all the way through.
Your kiss stays on my lips hours after you've kissed me.
I can still feel you there.
Your hands touch me all the way to my soul, and for once
it doesn't scare me.

Everything about you is burned in my memory for a lifetime to come.
And when we are old and gray together, I can tell our children,
I was with an incrediable man who saw me, heard me, touched me
like no other had...
one who made me smile all the way through.


3

My love..
In the beginning I was so lost
and you took my hand.
You guided me and gave me your love.

Looking back over our past
I have now come to understand
How life is a river
flowing toward the great sea.

Along the course, we have traveled for so long,
sometimes fast..
sometimes slow..
but always together, hand in hand.

We braved the storms, rapids and waterfalls.
And, there were many obstacles which made us turn
first one way..
then another..
But, each bend bringing us closer to the great sea.

Throughout our journey we have shared
our lives..
our dreams..
our laughter..
our love..
to be together at the river's end -
at the great sea:

A place where our bodily shells are cast away to show
our love flickering brightly.

A place where gold and silver reflects our love
to light our way in soft luminous shades.

A place where diamonds, rubies and precious crystals
sparkle at each of our kisses.

A place where the laughter of children playing
brings us tears of joy and happiness.

A place where the strumming of the angels' harps
weaves soft tapestries on which we lay.

A place where the twinkling of the stars
are our loved ones only dancing about.

A place where we journey never more.

Listen..

Do you hear a faint ringing of the captain's bell?
Are we near the river's end?

My love..
Take my hand as we go down to the sea.


4

In your eyes I see an angel,
a beautiful creature in a glow of pure sunlight...
Through the darkness of your eyes
I see the midnight sky
with stars like diamonds shining bright...

I see love, pure and innocent; love enveloping me
in the peace of your beautiful eyes...
Your eyes show me my future,
I see my life go by,
I see my wife and even hear our baby cry...

Looking further I see our hair go grey
and, yet, your hand is still holding onto mine...
That's what I see when I look in your eyes,
not just once but I see us... everytime.




5


Her magic kiss
faery dust in my blood
Her touch
Her scent
lingers in my soul
a Stolen moment
and bittersweet memories



6

Your tide crashes against my shores
Your sails open into my breeze
How I long for you to deliver me
Across this endless brutal sea

I open my arms to you
And swallow your tranquil pleas
Every inch, every breath
Brings it all back to me

An ocean full of memories
All along the shores, a strength I see
Every hope, every dream
Threatens me like nature's overpowering streams



7
I thought if i put things away....

Love,

Passion,

Hopes, and dreams

Nothing would ever cage me

But the day you walked into my life
these things i put away slowly began to open
door by door.


My mouth becomes dry, and my hands begin to sweat;
all i can think of is the taste of your sweet kisses
and the whisper of *I love you* in one gentle breath.


Again, i am naked for the whole world to see
but i have no fear... for if i had not met you
i would have never opened these things i had put away.

DATING/ LOVE: THE IRONIES OF LIFE

The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.Each of us is a lake of love, yet strangely enough, we are all thirsty.In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person.

Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them, and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat, if God planned that route for you. So open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you.

It doesn't take a reason to love someone, but it does to like someone. You don't love someone because you want to, you love someone because you are destined too. It's because you fall in Love with them, that you then try to find a reason, but you always come up with the answer,No reason! “Love's about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. Its about looking in the eyes of your wife and knowing all the way to your bones that she's simply the best person you've ever known.

LISTEN TO ME ...AND LISTEN WELL........

Listen to me,and listen well, because I'm only going to say this once. I desire you. I burn for you. I can't sleep at night for wanting you. Even when I didn't like you, I lusted for you. It's the most maddening thing, beguiling, damnable thing, but there it is. And if I'm to hear
one more word of nonsense from your lips, I'm going to have to tie you to the bed bloody bed and have my way with you a hundred different ways, until you finally get it through your silly skull that you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world, and if anyone else doesn't see that they're bloody fools


I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want.
And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger

LOVE/ DATING; I AM GOOD ENOUGH

It seem like I always get the woman that i don’t want to fall head-over-heels in love with me, but when I find someone I want, I fail miserably. From what I know about spirituality the real issue here is what is the problem that “wanting” is causing? If you can have the ones you don’t want wrapped around your finger as love slaves, then something about you “wanting” someone is what’s causing the real problem here.

Let’s examine what I think my problems is:

Just like that movie "She out of my league" ...sometimes..the one I want...deep inside i feel like I am not good enough for her.

He’s out of my league / I’m not good enough for him-

When you BELIEVE and ASSUME that you are irresistibly attractive and that a woman (or any woman) wants you hardcore, it often comes about. My beliefs are completely under my control. But I need to step up and stop programming my mind with garbage.I have to stop falling into the
trap of telling the only-the-ones-I-don’t-want-want-me sob story, STOP IT and never do it again.Instead, start “brainwashing myself” into this belief:

The ones I want the most will find me irresistible and they want me, hard.

You’re only not good enough when YOU decide that you aren’t good enough. I need to stop being deperate. I wasn't like this before I got divorce, but I think what happen to me weaken my self

PERSONAL/LETTER: LISTEN TO ME WELL....

Dear Love,

Listen to me,and listen well, because I'm only going to say this once. I desire you. I burn for you. I can't sleep at night for wanting you. Even when I didn't like you, I lusted for you. It's the most maddening thing, beguiling, damnable thing, but there it is. And if I'm to hear one more word of nonsense from your lips, I'm going to have to tie you to the bed bloody bed and have my way with you a hundred different ways, until you finally get it through your silly skull that you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world, and if anyone else doesn't see that they're bloody fools


 I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger

LOVE/THOUGHTS: HAVING THE RIGHT PERSON AT THE WRONG TIME

The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.Each of us is a lake of love, yet strangely enough, we are all thirsty.In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person.

Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them, and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat, if God
planned that route for you. So open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you.

It doesn't take a reason to love someone, but it does to like someone. You don't love someone because you want to, you love someone because you are destined too. It's because you fall in Love with them, that you then try to find a reason, but you always come up with the answer, No reason! "Love's about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. Its about looking in the eyes of your wife and knowing all the way to your bones that she's simply the best person you've ever known.

SPIRITUAL/LOVE:WHEN YOU THINK SHE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

It seem like I always get the woman that i don't want to fall head-over-heels in love with me, but when I find someone I want, I fail miserably. From what I know about spirituality the real issue here is what is the problem that "wanting" is causing? If you can have the ones you don't want wrapped around your finger as love slaves, then something about you "wanting" someone is what's causing the real problem here.

Let's examine what I think my problems is: Just like that movie "She out of my league" ...sometimes..the one I
want...deep inside i feel like I am not good enough for her. He's out of my league / I'm not good enough for him- When you BELIEVE and ASSUME that you are irresistibly attractive and that a woman (or any woman ) wants you hardcore, it often comes about. My beliefs are completely under my control. But I need to step up and stop programming my mind with garbage.I have to stop falling into the trap of telling the only-the-ones-I-don't-want-want-me sob story, STOP IT and never do it again.Instead, start "brainwashing myself" into this belief:

The ones I want the most will find me irresistible and they want me, hard. You're only not good enough when YOU decide that you aren't good enough. I need to stop being deperate. I wasn't like this before I got
divorce, but I think what happen to me weaken my self

LOVE/PERSONAL: WHEN SOMEONE LOVES YOU, THE WAY THEY SAY YOUR NAME IS DIFFERENT

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.Its strange how a single, important moment in one person's life might not even be memorable to another.You can close your eyes to things that you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel.

I can't be with someone who has doubts, no matter how small they are. I need someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I don't want just part of your heart, I want all of it. It's funny how when someone says they love you, you can't really feel it, but when they say they don't love you anymore, you can feel every ounce of what was drained out of your entire being. Whenever you leave something you loved so much that meant the entire world to you, there comes a long procession reaction to it. You're thrust into something that feels like somewhere you've never been before, but it's the exact same place you've been in. Sometimes your heart needs a long restart to realize how it feels to be off your sleeve, and back in your own chest. It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't coma back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.One day, it all catches up with you. Every ended relationship, every tear shed, every broken heart. You pick up the pieces, you brush them off and you put them back together, only each time you need a little more glue. Then just like that, glue;s not enough anymore. The cracks, the holes, the
shattered dreams? They're a part of you. Try as you might, you can't fix what's been broken, and you can't mend what/s been torn.

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. I wanna do something that matters. Say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. I wanna do something better, with the time I've been given, and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life and leave nothing less than something that says I was here.

LOVE/PERSONAL: LAST NIGHT I DREAMT ABOUT YOU

Last night I dreamt about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally somehow you caught fire.

I ask myself why, and in that same breath, as I watch you, I get my answer. It's everything about you; it's that teasing smile, that warm scent. It's the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. It's just everything about you. But more than that, it's everything about me. It's everything about the way you make me laugh,cry, smile, and hurt. It's everything about the way you make me feel. And that's everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go of.

The only two places where I feel absolutely safe are either in a bed with fresh, white sheets and pillows surrounding my head or in water. Like on the bottom of a swimming pool. Alone. Weightless. Peaceful. Nobody talking. Nobody pretending. Just being. Those are only two places. Everywhere else I get smacked in the face with arrogance, ignorance, shallowness. They knock me down and leave me bleeding on the floor.

I remember an ex girlfriend said to me....What I find very attractive, what I find sexual, are people who are unapologetic for who they are and comfortable with themselves. And I think with those two things sexual energy does come out because you're not hovering or censoring yourself, you're just being who you are. And being who you are is a very attractive quality in a person.

Laying under a blanket, cuddling close to you, feeling your breath on my skin, taking every sense that you have within. Your lips touch my shoulder, kissing me so sweet, making my heart skip every other beat. .

THOUGHTS: LIVING ON EARTH

Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. That's who I am. Now, forget me, Go home.

THOUGHTS: EVERYONE ALWAYS TELL YOU NO

All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this.They will tell you no, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them yes.

LOVE: FROM CUTE TO GORGEOUS

Cute is when you peek up at me with that goofy half-smile, glance over my shoulder, and after a fraction of a second to return to lock my gaze, and your lips stretch into a deeper crescent. Sexy is when you stride up to me, your long legs drumming that perfect background beat, words forming on your lips with a disruptive type of relevance, and your half-cocked eyebrow inclining in my direction. Hot is when your hair is still halfway damp from your early-morning shower, and the strands adhere themselves to the tip of your neck, and as you raise your backpack, the muscles in your arms glide beneath your skin before you turn to face me. Stunning is when you position yourself next to me in a casually deliberate pose, and then follow me out the back door, with your loping gait aligning with your laughter at my silly antics. Gorgeous is when you look down, nodding empathetically, searching for the most accurate portrayal of your feelings, as you
move your hands towards mine. Sensational is when you say my name and your deep tone reverberates through my bone marrow, starts shivers down my spine. There's not a word in the English language that isn't tinted with you. There is no vowel that doesn't carry the image of your face.

LOVE: LOVE IS LIKE AN ADDICTION

I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speed ball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is with held, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know she has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because she used to give it to you for free).

Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. She looks at you like you're someone she's never met before, much less someone she once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame her. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self.