POETRY: MY HEART CANNOT BE RETRIEVED

We search within
for the day of forever,
tying memory after memory
in a never-ending pattern
which flows forwards and back,

and yet,

we never see towards
the periphery,
we stand blinded in the fury
and anticipation of discovery

of the things we hide
and questions we want to ask,

like,
why...

do you burn through my mind,
forever falling
in endless choices,
traveling on the wheel of time
which breaks in every day,

in every hour
that slips through our fingers
too easily
though we grip tightly, like steel,
until we bend too far the other way

and all is gone,

as if it never was,

just one more morning to wake to,
and one more night to struggle with.

There are those who face loss
with fierceness of determination
to overcome and forget,

then there are those
who fall beneath the weight
and pretend
life has some ultimate meaning.

And there are the rest of us
who believe
in the day of forever,

and we wait
and we hold on

...forever.


2

If you must give me your heart,
Let it not be for this and that, or
What you think my love would bring.
Love should be free and fair
A priceless gift from your heart,
For love is spirit and lives in the heart...
Without motive or countless conditions.
For these stipulations of love, my dear, are
Never permanent but temporary indeed
Love is eternal and lives after death
That?s what makes love unique.
Love?s motive is to share and serve,
To build a heart destroyed by fire
Sympathetic but not based on sympathy
Is true love that flows from the heart.
A conditional love is a physical one
Built on material things, fame and fortune
It?s spiritual content is lost to the wind
What?s left...a sounding brass, a tinkling cymbal




3

I'm in control...
I tell myself.
My heart will not be thieved.
You came along,
now it's gone...
and cannot be retrieved.


4

If only for an instant
I could see your beautiful face
It would fill my empty spirit
With wondrous life and grace

As I watch, and you unknowing
I love you from afar
I can see your face is glowing
Underneath the brightest star

In a great majestic palace
Of 'forever' do I wait
And not once feeling callous
To the outcome of my fate

Forever will I want you
And forever you will you be
A memory of something true
That wasn?t meant for me

I?ll see you standing there
And want you standing here
But always loving from afar
And never very near




5

she grabs his hand and holds on tight
 the thought of letting go
  never crosses her mind
they slowly walk, hand in hand
 to a very distant and secret land
she opens her soul
 and pours out her heart
she tells him her every hope, dream,
 thought and prayer
she tells of the love she treasures
 and so dearly holds for him,
  and only him,
how she could get lost
 in his beautiful big, blue eyes
  if he'd only let her
and how every now and then,
 and every moment in between,
  the thought of him lingers in her mind
how his smile can light up a room
 without him even knowing it
she shares the dreams that come every night
 dreams of him and her
  and how they feel so right
she tells him the prayer she's prayed every night
(since the beginning of time) to God up above
 simply asking for him, the one who holds her heart
  in the palm of his hands, to return her love
she turns to walk away, her work there is done
 but he doesn?t let her go
  instead he looks deep into her eyes,
   opens his mouth to speak, but not a sound
    comes from his perfect lips
he smiles his wonderful smile
 and begins to tell her how every time she's near
  he trembles with excitement and fear
how his heart races almost out of control
he says he dreams the same dream
 even says the same prayer to the Lord up above
  that she would share his love
with tears in her eyes, she cracks a smile
 he pulls her near and softly whispers in her ear
whatever it was, he said the right thing
 because today they're celebrating 50 years
  of nothing less than
    an endless love


6


When I wake in the morning 
I long to see you face

When I hear the phone ring
I can only hope to hear your voice

As I walk the short path to your house
I strain to see the car that proves your presence

You open the door to show your smiling face
And I can't keep myself from melting

When you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
I feel as though you're looking right into my soul

When you entwine your hand in mine
It's as though you've connected our hearts

You look at me as though you know my thoughts
And when you speak, it's almost as though you do

As I look at the stars each night 
All I think of is you

POETRY: ENCOUNTER WITH YOU

I - me, my soul, my mind,
and my heart filled a great amount of . . .

LOVE - an emotion far greater than any other,
that is impossible to  expalin,
and which I have a multitude for . . .

YOU - the person I care for, dream of, and adore.

2

An early morning encounter 
with a beautiful woman such as yourself.... 
Hmmmmm.....
Treasure chest of memories....
Someday I wish to lay with a woman 
such as yourself on a sandy beach 
watching the sunset and listening 
to your thoughts and memories...
Or, walk with you in a 
field of wild flowers 
hand in hand laughing joyfully 
and watching the whispering 
spring air run through your hair.

ARTICLE:Millennial madness — kids without marriage By Ashley Maguire (NYPOST)

The other day, something came across my newsfeed about Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy style.

I’ll hand it to her; she’s a stylish pregnant lady. And we know this for certain now, because this is her third pregnancy with boyfriend Scott Disick.

But that’s just it. Boyfriend.

It’s head-scratching to me why a couple would have multiple children — all “planned” — but refuse to tie the knot. It seems to me, if you’re building a family together, why not make it official? Yet keeping it unofficial is becoming the new norm.

As Brad Wilcox put it in a piece for The Wall Street Journal about the parallel mysteries of falling teen pregnancy rates but soaring single-motherhood numbers for women in the next age bracket, “If 30 is the new 20, today’s unmarried 20-somethings are the new teen moms.”

Naomi Riley had an excellent piece on this phenomenon last month in The Post, “Generation Screwed.”

Millennials, my generation, have been given this nickname because we are getting slammed with record high tuition rates, a terrible job market, out-of-control entitlements, and so on. She writes:

“So you’d think that if research shows there is something that could be a surefire way of improving their economic lot, they would grab hold of it like a life preserver. Well, you’d be wrong.

“In fact, research has shown marriage to be responsible for the significant creation of wealth — yet millennials don’t seem interested. The average age of a first marriage for men is 29 and for women it’s 27.

“Many are simply not marrying at all. Almost half of children born to women under 30 are out-of-wedlock births now, according to a recent study by Child Trends, a Washington-based research group.”

It is mystifying.

While it’s easy enough to see how a generation thoroughly steeped in relativism might shrug off the moral arguments for marriage, it’s plain bizarre the way millennials seem to be outright rejecting the evidence that marriage favors them and their progeny economically.

Riley gives a litany of data that shows the way couples who marry start to quickly pass their unmarried peers when it comes to financial stability.

This data only compliments all the data that paints a crystal with a capital “C” clear picture of how important marriage is in determining the outcomes of children.

My favorite stat? Marriage drops a child’s odds of falling into poverty by 82 percent. Wind and repeat.

Eighty-two percent. Yet a recent Pew report suggests that a likely one in four millennials will never marry and that millennials are incredibly likely to say, “marriage is becoming obsolete” and rank “being a good parent” as a higher priority than “having a successful marriage.”

But what millennials just don’t seem to grasp is that being a good parent is having a successful marriage. It is absolutely the most important and determinant factor for children: whether or not their parents are married.

But, according to Pew, “Millennials are less likely than adults ages 30 and older to say that a child needs a home with both a father and mother to grow up happily and that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.”

Kourtney and Scott don’t need to worry about money, and most likely their kids won’t either.

But we ordinary millennials can’t afford to follow in their tracks. We owe our generation and our children a future. As Riley put it, “Looks like the Screwed Generation is raising the really screwed one.”

We may feel powerless against mounting national woes like ballooning student debt. But we are fools to leave our most powerful weapon, a social bazooka, if you will, just lying there in the dust. Marriage is ours to reclaim. What’s stopping us?

If it’s fear that things won’t work out, we can take courage in knowing we have an unprecedented amount of knowledge about what makes marriage work and what makes marriage fail.

We can marry smart. Divorce rates are falling. We don’t have to make the mistakes our parents’ generation made.

The only mistake we risk making is to write off marriage, or rather to devalue its power in bettering our lives emotionally and financially and to try in vain to untie it from the children we say we want to have.

PERSONAL: THE NIGHT BRINGS LONELINESS

The night brings loneliness to so many people everywhere, the hope of finding someone to be there with them through the lonely nights is in all of their prayers. They go through the day with the hope of finding someone to be there for them but, as night approches and the light goes dim, The loneliness of the night is upon them once again, and once more they look forward to tomorrow with the hope of adding true love to their plans.

The night is so lonely when you have to go to bed alone, as you pull your pillow close to you, the loneliness grows so strong. for, you long for the arms of someone to hold you tight but, at this moment, the hope of having this happen, is nowhere in sight. You wonder to yourself, will
this special person ever come along, to be there for you after a hard day on the job, to greet you with
"honey, I love you" when you get home.

As you lay there and look out of your window into the night sky, at the stars which shine so bright,
you find yourself praying to God with all of your might. That he will bless you with someone that will love you and always be there, and in your mind you will know that God still answers prayers.

And one day that special someone will come along, and after so many lonely nights all by yourself, you will realize that you made it through one of life's toughest storms..... loneliness. You close your eyes and you see the love of your life standing there with a smile, you look and see her again and the tears start to flow, for this is the moment you have waited for,

You realize that this is the moment that you have longed for, as you get closer and look at her, with tears flowing down your face, all your hopes and dreams are now so close, and not as far. From this moment on, you will never be alone, Arm in arm you both will go, so much in love as you head for the door, never to be alone anymore.

But, as you lay there in your bed, you open your eyes and realize it was only a dream and the
loneliness of the night goes on for, you are still all alone in your home.  But the dream has given you
new hope to another day, that someone special will come your way.

So, once again you close your eyes in restfull sleep for, this night as with all the ones before, was only a repeat, of how the night brings loneliness

SEX: HOTTEST SEX SCENE IN MOVIES

I want to start with the remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice with Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange has a very sexy scene about a half hour in when they do it on a kitchen table. It starts out almost as a rape but then she stops fighting him and goes crazy. He pushes her up against a wall and puts his head between her legs.Then there is a scene that drives me wild. He is pushing his hand up toward her crotch and Jessica is wearing the appropriate 1930s garter belt, stockings and white panties. We get a beautiful closeup of this.As his hand approaches her crotch, she is so hot she can't wait for him to touch her through her panties so she puts her own hand there and gives herself a squeeze. Then he puts his hand on top of hers and guides it, then she moves her hand onto the top of his, and together they caress her a few times.So very briefly, we get to see Jessica Lange masturbating. It doesn't get any better than that. I was a teenager in the movie theatre then. O how I loved seeing Jessica Langes beautiful breast touched through the dress bei Jack Nicholsons hand, to watch her legs, the stockings, the panties, softly bulging over her beautiful thing. I fantasized her blonde pubic hair. I was totally stiff and it was a great cinematic moment. Before that, when she swept the things from the desk, opened Jacks trousers. Mh! Ah! It was such an horny and explosive scene.




Another one is Risky Business when Rebecca first came into the house and asked Tom if he was ready for her? Ready? READY?! Are you kidding? The heat that came off the screen in the next few minutes was enough to melt the film projector wires. When he ran his hands up her body from behind...mmm...


I love the The Piano with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The whole movie is a lesson in understanding the object of your affection. He is intrigued by her, lusts after her, eventually falls in love with her, all the while ardently pressing his desire towards her. He comes to understand the key that unlocks her and is rewarded with her undying devotion. Incidentally, the key had less to do with sex than her sensual nature. Two scenes in this movie just about sent me over the edge.

1) Keitel's character is lying under the piano and he slowly lifts her skirt to just her knee. On the calf of her stocking, he finds a small hole into which he gently inserts one finger so he can touch the only bare skin he's been allowed to touch to that point. Very sensual moment! The look on Hunter's face was exquisite for all its depth of emotion that the touch arouses.

2) Hunter's character begins to understand HERSELF and her sensuality. There is a scene where she takes the brave step to explore this a bit. She's back at home with her painfully uptight and repressed husband (masterfully played by Sam Neill). He's asleep on the bed and she sits down beside him and begins to stroke his back up and down, using her palm, fingertips, and the back of her hand. He slowly awakens, and in that dreamy haze of half-sleep allows her to continue her sensual wanderings down his back. I love that her honest touch is starting to unlock even her stodgy husband, evidenced by his catching breaths and soft moans. Very sexy.


Monsters Ball (just plain dirty sex)


Unfaithful: Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez have sex in his bed while she shudders uncontrollably, they have sex in a theater, a bathroom stall, and have a pseudo-rape scene in the hall outside his apartment that later becomes consensual


9 1/2 weeks erotic but not sensual


And finally. The Big Easy...sigh. Dennis Quaid has been after her and she's trying to keep her professional distance and he finally 'gets to her'.In his bedroom on his bed, her face is to the camera, she's up on her knees (after telling him that she's no good at this "sex stuff"). His hand has traveled slowly up her leg and you can tell where his hand is You can tell by the look on her face what's going on, and I can damn near feel it m'self... She's getting weaker and weaker with passion and tells him to "Stop that".

THOUGHTS: CLARK KENT VS SUPERMAN

 I recently been watching Smallville ...i know ..i know...the show is old...but when it was on..I never watched it....big mistake.
 
Superman is my favorite superhero.  That the 'S' on his chest isn't an 'S' at all, but rather represents a Kryptonian symbol for Hope.

I like that.

And when you're a kid, you throw on a red cape, some blue pants, and wear your skivvies on the outside. You run around trying to save cats from trees and pretending to fly.

Boy, that was fun.

But lets cut to adulthood. If you show up to the office like that (and it's not Halloween), people are going to throw you in the loony bin.

But I think we're all missing something. We're missing the one thing that makes Superman greater than any other hero. He was born the way he is, and chooses to lead humanity not through his examples as Superman, but through his examples as Clark Kent.

Stick with me here for a second, because this is a subtle point that I don't think they even get into in any of the comic books, but I think they should.

Superman is a god. Period. He can do things no mortal man can. He has love, adoration and immense power. And what does he choose to do with it?  He chooses mild-mannered Clark Kent.

He chooses to stumble when others walk strong. He wears glasses when others have perfect vision. He bumbles his words when he's perfectly fluent.

In short, he makes others feel like superheroes, rather than peacocking his own abilities.

It's the way I've tried to live my life over the last year. Make others feel smarter, more powerful, and richer than you. Why? Because it makes them feel comfortable.

Why would I wear some fancy clothes and a shiny watch when it's only going to make other people feel bad about themselves. No. I'd rather wear a simple white t-shirt, a Nike Fuel Band, and tell them something I really admire about them.

The goal isn't to be a superhero. It's to make others feel like superheroes.

So instead of trying to be like Superman, maybe we should all try to be a little more like Clark Kent.

POETRY: UNHINGES MY SOUL

This vision approached me one night in a dream,
A vision that you were the only one for me.
We were there hand and hand.
You were my superstar; I was your greatest fan.
In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.
We were together, to never fall apart.
You fulfilled my greatest desire,
As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.
You were my angel from above.
You were all of this in my vision of love.
As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.
This one thing I promise, I will always love you.
With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.
Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.
From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.
Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.
You are my heart, thus become my dove.
You are all of this, in my vision of love


2

You took my heart
with only a single glance.
My love for you is a candle
which will always burn.
My love for you is something
you can be sure of.
The way you smile
makes every day of my life
seem worthwhile.
The look in your eyes
makes me realize
you are my one true love.
You entered my life
and completed me.
I can't begin to explain the
feelings I have for you;
when you look deep
into my eyes,
what that makes me do.


3


I never told you how you looked..
with the moon spilling from your fingers
and liquid stars, combed through your hair.
I was trying to hold your shadow in my hands
and I dreamt of sleeping.. without you beside me.

I never told you how you looked..
like an angel, when you slept---
your irridescent beauty always takes my breath away.
and it might break your heart when I say- I hate you
but it is only because- I love you
to a point of passion... that unhinges my soul.



4

I see couples
Holding hands, exchanging glances.
Smiling.  Smiling at a secret only they know.
Knowledge I long to know.

Tell me.
Share your secret with me.
Tell me the story of your love,
How you came to discover it.

Was it instant?
Did her smile brighten your world?
Did she make you forget your pain?
Did he show you how beautiful it is? 

Did he teach you not to be afraid?
Did he dry your tears
With the sentiment of his heart?
I see them.

Do they realize how lucky they are?
It would be easier if I were envious,
But my desire,
It grows stronger with each day.

I need to love,
To be loved.
I want to share in that knowing glance
With someone as he holds my hand.

Tell me your secret.

PERSONAL: You’re Not Reading This By Accident

You’re Not Reading This By Accident

This is meant for you. There is this feeling that universe and life is random , that unexpected things could happen, ..it might be true, but I have a feeling in the air that today is different. ...that your soul will see mine and it kind of went...."Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."

I really don't wast time with the wrong people. If I have to speculate if you loves me and wants to be with me, chances are you are not. It’s not that complicated. I hate wasting moments waiting and wondering.  I don't  throw away my time dreaming of someone that doesn’t want me. No one is that amazing, certainly not the one who would pass me up. No one is always busy. It’s always about priorities. You will always find time for the people that are important to you. So if respond...respond only if you want to really really be with me.

There are people who can walk away from you… and I let them walk. I am not the type of person who trys to talk another person into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, coming to see me, staying attached to me… My destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over

I know you are not going to believe me..but when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. That's what I learn.

It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. It’s not always about sex, sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the stupidest things, hold each other, and enjoy each others company.

I am looking for someone who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people that feel lonely in their heart. And if you think that is you...then be with me and let’s spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table behind us. Be with me so we can go to the movie theatre and sit in the very back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me..so we’ll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than on the walls. Marry me..so we can hold hands and go to parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub together.

JOURNAL: ROLLER COASTER RELATIONSHIP

Years back, I promised myself that I would never, ever chase after another woman again. I understand that in our society, it’s customary for the man to seek out and court the woman. Likewise, it’s customary for the man to be persistent while the woman is expected to play it cool and brush the man off for a period of time — playing the lady card, or hard-to-get card. Sure, we don’t see much of this these days, thanks to all the twerking Mileys of our generation, but nevertheless, when a man is really interested in a woman, the fact remains that he will chase after her.

Real men know what they want and will go after it until they get it. The problem with this is that most men don’t actually know what they want and if they do, falling for a woman turns the majority of them into lovesick puppies — very hungry, lovesick puppies. If a man doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll only want it more. This turns into an obsession and all such obsessions end badly.

Back when I was still a teenager, I met a girl — so begins every hopeless love story. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. The more I liked her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way about me. She was going through a rough patch in her life, and because I have a thing for damaged goods (they make me feel less crazy), the rough patch was especially rough.

She didn’t want me in her life; she wanted her independence. She had her heart broken once again, and this time around, the last thing she wanted in her life was another man. The problem was, the sex was incredible. It was so good that although she didn’t want to date me, she couldn’t let me go, either. In the meantime, I had managed to fall for her. And so began my obsession and a chase that lasted nearly two years.

I am going to save all the gloriously awful and painful details — “emotional roller-coaster” is an understatement — but my unhealthy obsession, and unwillingness not to get what I want, eventually broke down the barriers she had put up. She fell for me and I had won my prize. Now, here’s the thing: While love isn’t always felt intensely, obsession is.

Obsession, once it grabs onto you, won’t let you go. It’s filled with elongated moments of intense feeling and emotion. Thoughts of what or whom you’re obsessing over fill your mind like a dark cloud and you’re unable to distract yourself for long periods of time. You wake up thinking of her, you think of her the whole day, you go to bed thinking of her and you dream of her. But once you actually “get” her, your mind no longer has a need to think of her constantly; you have her and are now fulfilling that mental stimulation by spending much more time with her.

The intense feelings inevitably subside and you are left feeling… normal. Let me tell you, after obsessing for a long period of time, normal no longer feels normal. You begin to miss those intense emotions brought on obsession once they subside. Even worse, if you’re inexperienced, as I was, you mistake your obsession for love.

What makes regular obsessions profoundly intense obsessions is love itself; it underlies the obsession and fuels it. Not all obsessions are this soul-wrenching, but if they’re combined with love, they’re nearly unbearable. When the obsession is removed, you fall into a sort of withdrawal. Obsessions like these really are a sort of addiction. When the obsession leaves you, you’re left feeling incomplete.

Here comes the sad part. Although you know that you love her, you don’t feel that you love her. Because the beginning of your relationship was so intense, it set the bar ridiculously high. Now, everything that you feel falls short and you can’t seem to convince yourself that you are, for certain, with the right person. As human beings, we experience things comparatively: Great experiences are only great if they seem great in comparison to other experiences.

You’re still convinced that the way love is supposed to feel is the way you felt during all that time you were chasing the girl. You masked your obsession as being true love and are now unable to redefine true love — at least in regards to this specific person. The relationship is ruined. You’ll never be able to build the relationship you need because your obsession rotted away at the foundation.

Chasing love never works unless it is for a very short period of time. The problem is, once you start chasing, you begin to enjoy the chase, so you chase for a bit longer. Then, it turns into an even longer lasting chase, which inevitably turns into an obsession. If you want to turn your whole world upside down, go ahead and obsess; it’s sure to change you at a deep level. The only upside of all the pain and stress is that you will come out of it as a better person. You might come out wiser and better off than when you first started chasing, but it isn’t guaranteed that you’ll come out at of the dark tunnel at all.

The disillusionment of such obsession more often than not leaves victims depressed. Falling into a depression is much easier than climbing out of one and not all of us are able to manage the task. Obsessions are the leading cause of suicides. Clearly they aren’t all related to the chasing of women, but they are obsessions that fade and disappear, leaving the person lost and confused.

Obsessions substitute our purpose. When the obsession is lost, our purpose in life is lost with it. The only solution is finding a better purpose.

VIDEO:How to Open a Can without Can Opener

DATING: WHY MEN ARE SO ANGRY ONLINE

Traditional courting norms, it is usually men who do the asking and women usually do the selecting. Now man can ask 50 woman online.And why bother to ask them out in all different ways? 

Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned. One okCupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles. After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted. This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.


Listen...men, spend all their hours spent browsing photos, writing love notes, and hitting send aren’t “paying off. Who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in?  There’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… and get thunderous silence in return.