LOVE: FEAR OF REJECTION BY WOMAN

We live in an attraction based Universe (i.e. like attracts like, you cannot repel anything, you can only attract or not), and anything that’s in our reality is only there because we attracted it. If there’s anything missing in our world, it’s only ever because we haven’t attracted that thing by becoming a match to it.  This is true for all material things as well as all experiences.

We attract with our energy or our vibrations, which are a result of whatever frequencies we are focused upon. So, when you focus on awesomeness and fun, your world will mirror that back to you and be filled with loads of awesome, fun people, experiences and things. If your world is not filled with awesomeness and fun, it’s because you’re focused on something else. Often, what your world is mirroring back to you (your manifested, physical reality), is your only clue as to what’s going on with your vibration. You may not realize that you’re focusing on something you don’t want until it shows up in your reality. Of course, you do have the early warning system of your emotions, but if unwanted stuff has shown up in your reality, then you’ve missed the signals. Not to worry, though, it’s never too late to change your focus.

Now, if everything in your reality is only there because you’ve invited it in, then it stands to reason that any rejection you may experience has been attracted to you BY you. But why the hell would you do that?

Whenever you get rejected or disapproved of by someone and it feels bad, it means that you currently hold a belief about yourself that really, really isn’t serving you.  Let’s say that you go up to a girl. Perhaps you don’t think you’re good enough, or don’t feel that others think you’re good enough (which means that a part of you doesn’t believe you’re good enough). You may have beliefs about how hard it is for you to get a date with a girl, but if you experience real pain at the thought of that girl saying “No”, then you have a negative belief about yourself.

So, let’s say that a small but significant part of you is afraid that maybe, just maybe, you really aren’t good enough and yet, there’s this other part of you that thinks that this girl should want to date you, but that little part of you that’s contradicting what you want is creating a lot of conflict. And this causes pain. The mere thought of asking this girl out fills you with dread. You’d rather not ask at all than face the chance of her saying “no”.

So what ifs he says “no”?

Let’s dissect this fear for a moment. You ask for and she says  “no”. So freaking what? Why does the thought of this “rejection” hurt you so much? What exactly does this say about you to you? Generally speaking, if the rejection hurts, it’s validating the belief that you’re not worthy of that raise. This is an ugly, ugly thought.

But is her decision really about YOU? Sure, you attracted an experience that proved your belief right, so you manifested the feeling you just experienced, but it’s also worth looking at the other side – your woman's perspective. Rejection takes two parties. One who does the rejecting and one who gets rejected. You’ve probably spent a whole lot of time looking at the ugly side of being the rejectee, and very little on dissecting your beliefs about what’s happening in the mind of the rejector

When you feel rejected, you’re invariably assuming that the other person has rejected YOU. Not your height,  your eyes...your body shape but YOU, who you are, your character, your personality, what makes you, you. And that’s why it hurts so much. But is that actually what happened?

Does she really know YOU?

Does she know Who You Really Are? Does she know the authentic YOU, the one who is pure love and passion and enthusiasm? Or, does she know only the side of you that you’ve been willing to show her, and if she doesn’t know YOU, she cannot reject YOU.

Can she know YOU?

Of course, we have to consider that this woman has a vibration, as well. She can only allow whatever is a match to her vibration into her reality. That means that she sees only what her own, personal filters will allow her to see. Even if you’re being totally authentic, she cannot perceive the full glory that is YOU, unless she’s being fully authentic, as well (and if you’re at the point where you and everyone around you is fully authentic, then you really don’t need blog posts like this one anymore). Once again, she doesn’t know YOU, she cannot reject YOU.

What people are really rejecting

If she rejecting “you”, she’s really rejecting whatever she is perceiving. We’ve already established that she’s not perceiving YOU, since you’re probably not showing it to her and she wouldn’t be able to see it, even if you did. In other words, it’s like someone took a picture of your big toe, ran it through Photoshop and distorted it, and then showed it to your boss and said “You like this one?” If that happened and he rejected the pic, would you take it personally? Would you see that distorted, limited view as being a perfect representation of everything you are and are capable of? Or would you understand that your boss saw what he wanted to see, what he was capable of seeing, which had NOTHING to do with Who You Really Are, and made his decision off of that scanty and inaccurate and completely biased info? You’d have to be pretty damn insecure if you still took that crap personally.

So, we’ve established that the only reason rejection hurts so much is because you think YOU’re being rejected. We’ve also established that another person cannot ever really reject YOU, since they can’t ever fully know the real YOU, and that even if they did, the variables that go into their decisions are not the same as yours, and so their decisions will never really have anything to do with you.

But, you may be thinking, that’s all great and good, only you still didn’t get the girl

Well, Grasshopper, were you a match to girl? Were you more focused on WHAT you wanted and on lining up with that, or were you more focused on WHO had to give it to you and why they might not? Be honest.  If she’s not a match to making the decision that will bring love and se to you, then the Law of Attraction will find another conduit, one willing to let the energy of  flow to you through them.

Stop making other people responsible for your manifestations.

Your boss is not responsible for how much money you manifest
Your parents aren’t responsible for how much emotional stability you have
That cute guy you want to doink is not responsible for how much love you allow into your life
No one is responsible for how you feel about yourself
You’re still laughing at the word “doink”, aren’t you?

Bottom line

There is no such thing as rejection. There’s only you, the center of your own little Universe (NOT the center of anyone else’s Universe!), attracting whatever you’re a match to. Others aren’t responsible for providing you with your manifestations, and if they refuse to, it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you. You get what you’re a match to. You are a match to whatever you’re focused upon. If you’re not getting what you want, you’re not focused on what you want. Hating the person who refused to defy the laws of the Universe and give you something you’re not a match to, won’t change that.

So, stop focusing on the HOW or the WHO, and get focusing on the WHAT. Because you get to have what you want. You deserve it. You should have it. The whole Universe is set up on the premise that you get to have what you want. It wants to give it to you! Are you ready? Are you? This is going to be so damn awesome! Fear of rejection? What fear of rejection?!


I love viewing rejection as simply a mismatch in vibration and I especially love seeing people/experiences as “conduits” to our desire