LOVE: VIRGINITY

Virgins. An ever shrinking social club of undersexed, inexperienced young folks who share a common bond. Their common bond is that they have never shared a physical bond with a member of the other sex (or the same sex if that's what floats your boat.) Some of these people are celibate of their own conviction, waiting for "that right person" or "marriage." Others share this state due to conditions outside of their own control, i.e. bad genetic code. But all of these untapped guys and gals (with the exception of priests, monks, and nuns) are seeking someone with which to share their precious "first time." It can be said, though, that virgins are looked upon differently by more experienced members of the opposite sex. They can be anything from hidden treasure to unwanted goods, but that depends on the unique angle in which the opinion is presented. And it seems that males and females are on different planes on this one.
For most males the opportunity to be the duke of defloration in a girl's life is the opportunity to leave his mark. It presents a unique challenge in which he is charged with the quest of penetrating her most powerful defense systems. This also creates a great deal of responsibility for the man in this situation; the pressure of being her first and (for a time at least) only. But for most guys this is more of an honor than a burden.

For females that theory does not seem to apply in the same manner. I discovered that some girls like a guy who has had a chance to hone his skills. They would rather have experience than viridity. I also found that sometimes females see male virgins who are in their 20's as being undesirable due to the fact that they have struck out during the first quartile of their life. It is as if they are unwilling to "take a chance" on a guy who has been previously passed over by others.

This creates a definite double standard in today's society. Whereas female virgins are a hot commodity and male virgins are leftovers. Is it that females just want a guy to know what he is doing? Is it that guys want a girl who will give them the ultimate prize? I would have to say that it comes back to the very essence of our sexual natures. Males are hunters, penetrators, whose egos flourish on attaining status. Females are protectors, defenders of their sacred womanly offerings. Males naturally seek out challenge and status, while females seem to seek quality and intimacy.

So what are the advantages of rebelling against the norm when it comes to dating virgins? For guys the outcome can lead to a more pleasurable experience. A girl with more experience is more likely to blow your mind and take your sexual enlightenment to another level altogether. There is also very often less emotional attachment, offering up opportunities for one night stands and casual sexual experience. The challenge of deflowering a virgin often comes with time spent developing a deeply emotional relationship and the fostering of great trust. A girl with more sexual history is more likely to fancy just a roll in the hay once in a while. This creates a double standard for women. As AskMen.com explains:


And therein lies the problem: Guys find women for one-night stands, but they're extremely reluctant to settle down with women whose sexual history is just as colorful as their own.
The thing that we males must understand is that sexually experience does not always translate into "slut." As the climate of male and female relations has shifted in the past century, it can be observed that females have become the dominant gender when it comes to matters of the bedroom. They determine the who, what, where, and when of sex. Why is it a problem, then, for a woman to enjoy being engaged in similar behavior to that of her male counterparts? As long as we can get past this mental roadblock, males can right themselves on a path to more fulfilling sexual experiences.

The part that still bothers me is the fact that most women do not hesitate to pass on a virgin guy due to that piece of information alone. This is another example of the sexual shift to a female dominated culture. The problem is that a male virgin, while inexperienced, may pose the chance for a girl to mold a sexual dynamo. Male virgins are not losers who are not worthy to share moments between the sheets, they are as female virgins claim to be, "waiting for that special someone." The problem is that females do not necessarily seek the status of being the one who "broke him in." What women should understand, though, is that just because a guy hasn't rounded the bases doesn't mean that he is a complete idiot in the sack.

This is all a matter of individual opinion I guess, but my hope is to dispel some of the stereotypes associated with virginity. When choosing a virgin or a non-virgin, you must consider whether the person of interest is in the same sexual state of mind as you. If you are a virgin and she is looking for fiery jungle sex, then maybe the time is not right (I say go for it anyways, though... jungle sex sounds like fun). You must judge every situation individually. Remember that sex is a key component of any relationship, but it is not everything. I leave you to decide it's importance...