LOVE: THE ART OF LOVE

Most people are starving for love. They watch endless number of films about happy and unhappy love stories. They listen to hundreds of songs about love, yet hardly anyone think that there is anything that needs to be learned about love. Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that their capacity to love. The problem is the problem of the other person. People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love or be loved by is difficult. You don't know how many times I have heard from women telling me, "When the right person come my heart will open up", till then I have to be cautious.

If two people who have been strangers, as all of us are, suddenly let the wall between them break down and feel close, feel one, they have a fighting chance to love. In spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love---success, job, money, sex....almost all our energy is used for the learning of how to achieve these aim and almost none to learn the art of loving. For love "only" profits the soul, but is profitless in our world is luxury we have no right to spend much energy on.

The active character of love is giving not receiving, But most are willing to give, but only in exchange for receiving and giving without receiving for most is like being cheated. It is so hard for most people to give. The virtue of giving to most lies in the very act of acceptance of the sacrifice. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness. What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has, he gives of his life. He gives other that which is alive in him. He gives of his joy, of his interest, of his understanding, of his humor, of his sadness---of all expression and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhance the other;s sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. The ability to love I think depends on the character development of the person, the person who overcome dependency, narcissistic, the wish to exploit other, or to hoared.

To love someone is not just a strong feeling----it is a decision, it is a judgement, it is a promise...a commitment. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. We are all part of one, we are one. This bring so, it should not make any difference whom we love. Love should be essentially an act of will, of decision to commit my life completely to that of one other person. Our culture is based on the appetite for buying, we look at the shop windows, in buying all that we can afford to buy we look at people the same way. For the man an attractive girl--and for the women an attractive man---are the prize. They are after attractive usually means a nice package of qualities which are popular and sought after on the personality market. Two people fall in love when they feel they have found the best object available on the market