LOVE: GETTING READY FOR LOVE

So many people try to concentrate on just feeling the positive aspect of being in a relationship and avoid the negative feelings. But you can't avoid either of them in relationship. Part of being intimate is seeking and feeling the emotional stuff coming up. You can only avoid negative intensity by avoiding intimacy, or by avoiding relationships. Intimate relationship bring everything up, some part of which we are not yet ready to face. It's good to find out what those parts are. Then we know that when relationships bring those parts up we will feel like turning away from the relationship. Nobody wants to feel the negative feelings that arise in the midst of deep intimacy. Nobody wants to see their own psychological garbage that limits their gift of love. But intimacy itself is a call to grow thought these part of yourself. Remember...you will always attract someone as capable of loving as you are. you only sabotage yourself if you close down because you don't want to hurt again. If you do close down you will attract someone who is equally afraid of intimacy.

As a lover, you are choosing to embrace someone who is going to die as well as someone who isn't always going to be able to love you. You are choosing someone who, because they have unresolved childhood patterns, will be re-living their drama with their parents in the relationship with you. Once it become clear that love is what you are here to do, and that an intimate relationship provides the vehicle for growth in love. When you realize this, you can make a full commitment in love, knowing its inevitable limitation and pain....expect that whoever you are with will hurt you, turn away from you...and withhold their feelings occasionally. this is an normal part of a relationship because most of us have not yet transcended all of our pattern that are less than absolute love. We are only in the process of learning to be open. We are students in the school of love. True commitment is to love. If your commitment is to another person instead of love