How many married couples that you know would you emulate? that number is just three to me, including my parent. We live in a day and age when the average oven and refrigerator have a life span that is approximately twice that of the average marriage. I am being to realize that intimacy has nothing to do with being naked or exploring each other's personal plumbing.Taking off your clothes doesn't develop intimacy, such closeness comes only from taking off your masks and truly sharing your hearts and lives with each other. Getting to understand your partner's motivation, fears, hopes, basic understanding of life. People marry stranger and then get frustated when they discover who they really married. If you want marital happiness, be picky about turning away from people who for whatever reason will never have the emotional maturity to be your lifelong soulmate. Upward of 80- 90 percent of people out there simply aren't good enough for you. Imagine a person has to be to come into your life and love you for who you are, without putting unfair demands on you or asking you to always jump higher, do more, increase your income, or make him or her happier. Most of us aren't looking for a coach. We are looking for what Billy Joel sang about when he said, "I love you just the way you are".
People tend to marry people who reinforce their already existant self-image. Sometimes I get tired of showing up alone at holidays gathering, watching my nephews, and feeling cut out. There is tempation to take anyone who is willing to marry you, just to show the world that your're lovable. Not only is this unfair to the person you're marrying, it's also pretty lousy way to deal with the underlying issue of poor self-esteem. You're lovable. Getting married is not a good way to deal with low self-esteem.
Some people believe that when you fall in love it's something over which you have no control. After all, who decide whether to fall in love? YOU DO. Who decide who to fall in love with? Again...YOU DO. Put the power over your emotions back into your hands. You may be attracted to someone and decide that you want to pursue a more serious relationship. Why, then, do people become involved in affairs? I hate when people tell me that they don't know what happen. I remember one ex said" We were good friend having a drink together, and the next thing I knew we were in bed." I said...Did he slip something in your drink?...her answer is NO. "Then you chose to take your clothes off and get into that bed, didn't you?" I believe both partners knew exactly where they were headed, but neither wanted to admit it because that would have cheapened things. It goes much easier on your conscience if you can convince yourself that it happened before you knew what hit you. My point is this: Even though two people may be attracted t oeach other, they don't have to give in to that attraction. You can either give in to it or you can fight it. A movie that hit home wit this is CLOSER. Remember the scene where both couple confess their affair to the other partner. Emotions are powerful, you need to prepare for their onslaught lest they lead you in a direction you don't want to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment