When you fall in love your heart is open and you love everyone you see. Do you know that feeling? You need to practice opening your heart. When you have doubt- Does she love me? Don't avoid doubt. Love through it. Don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed by doubts, rather, let doubt come up and love. "I'm totally afraid, and I love you so much" The feeling of love is always in your heart, but you have to literally relocated it. Your mind will go into other areas: What will the future hold? Will she take me into account? Just relocate your love. You don't have to stop doing other things. Just relocated love. It's always in your heart. Where was your love before your partner came into your life? Was it floating 50 feet away from you? Has this person come along and pushed love into you? No. Love was always in you...that person just was your excuse for loving. But we need to become responsible for always locating our love, whether our partner is loving or not. In your day-to-day life makes time to relax, relocated and connect with the loving in your heart. Mediate on love, feel into love, Imagine you are in your lover's arm. Your body open. Your heart is radiating love.
The extreme intimacy we seek is also the intimacy we fear. We fear losing our sense of independent self in relationship, but we also desire to lose ourselves in the ecstasy of deep love. Complete union with the one we love is therefore what we most desire and most fear. We cannot entirely rid our intimate relationship of tension. To practice intimacy, we must learn to embrace the constant, subtle tension. Nothing makes you more intimate that allowing your resistance, fear and anger to come up in the midst of love. This is intimacy. It doesn't block intimacy. Instead, express your true feeling and trust the process of love....I feel myself opening to you but I'm afraid of becoming needy. I don't want to lose my own center. But you have to be willing to sacrifice your self-constaintment to allow love to do its work. You open yourself to receiving love by giving love. You invite trust from your partner by trusting him. If you're holding back he'll hold back. You will become involved in a battle of holding back.
Trust love. Trust that in your love with your partner you could bring up how insecure you feel. See how far giving your trust to your partner will go. See how far giving your trust to love itself will do. The practice of intimacy require you to face your deepest inner demons and fears. When you are in love....every single part of you that has yet to be totally infiltrated by love will rise to the surface like oil on water. To be capable of love means to allow all your stuff and your partners to come up. Your fear will come up. So will your feeling of being needy and dependent. So will your anger. Consciously allow this to be part of the relationship.
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