LOVE/ PERSONAL; I WANT YOU

Do you know how you can tell if you really loved someone?

You miss them.

At the end of the day, it's the pain of their absence that stands as a testament to how you truly feel. You might think of them and reflect fondly back on the memories you shared together, or lapse into a sweet (albeit short) nostalgic moment, or experience the most fleeting sense of wistfulness. Which is all well and good...

But when your heart feels like it's being torn in two and your chest constricts and your thoughts all muddle together and you have to shut your eyes so tightly that little stars explode behind your eyelids - that's when you know you had something real.



PART II

It's funny, we all know what we want but we never actually get it. We all want to look a certain way, to wear certain clothes, to have a certain amount of money or success. We all want to be happy and feel good about ourselves. We all want that one person who will complete us, make us feel whole — like those missing pieces were never even there.

We want and we want, but we never quite get it. And if we do, it isn't until much, much later when it doesn't matter much anymore. Or we have to sacrifice something else, and in the end we always end up wishing
to go back and redo the mistakes we've made. But it doesn't work like that, nothing ever does, nothing is ever simple.

I want you, and I guess I sort of have you, but not in the way I want. I want you to be right here, right now, but you aren't. I want you to ask me out but you haven't. I want to kiss you but I haven't. I want to hold your hand again and cuddle with you again because that was nice, it was really nice.

I want all of this, and I want to finally get it. For once, let me have something.