SURRENDER

 PART 1-SURRENDER: SURRENDERING TO THIS TRUTH


Surrender is letting go, whether or not you believe the embrace will occur. Surrender is meltdown of every rigidity we've ever been committed to, the conscious and unconscious dismantling of how we thought things should be to make up for the way things wil, in fact, occur. It means giving up of rigidity of every kind:

-the rigidities of the heart that refuse the heart to be soft and open
-the rigidities of the body that refuse to receive the touch that could heal, the passion that could transform
-the rigidities of the soul that congeal and congest the spirit, causing it to imagine it has a life apart from the body and mind.

Surrendering is letting go into the void---into the mysterious, unnamed, mystical, formless future..into the arms that are invisible---that we become finally ready to receive it all.

It's only when we allow ourselves to float in the great sea of life, giving up all control, trusting it will hold us up, that love will arrive. You must trust on the spiritual level that the forces of the universe will be on your side.Only by letting go will anyone appear. Love doesn't just happen....because in the background of every relationship is a story of intention and opportunity converged in time. There are always a whole set of circumstances, chance occurances over which lovers have no control, which set love in motion. You go online and find me....or read my blog. Love is like a string of pearls, a series of experiences, which strung together one by one,,,,become the exquisite whole with which you can adorn yourself. Every event or person leads to the next, and whole cannot exist without the parts.

Love is a part of the elaborate, spiralling lineage of people and circumstances that constantly criss-cross our lives. The person who will step into your life to love you has been coming to you from just as far, through just as many terrible and wonderful experiences as you have. When the moment of our convergence arrives, it many seem like I came out of nowhere, but in fact I cam to you from everywhere and you came to me through everything. Surrendering to this truth is trusting in its reality and being willing to wait for its happy occurrence.

The love you need now is some profound sense the culmination of all the loves you've already lived, the great ones and the sweet ones, the romantic island interludes, the long, demanding commitments---whether they filled you up or emptied you out.




PART 2-SURRENDER: IF WE SINCERELY WANT TO LOVE...WE WILL DO WHAT IS NECESSARY

People come to me asking me to help them. Most of them are not earnestly and sincerely to be led my me. I feel like a teacher. If the student is receptive the impartation. But if the student's mind is in a state of questioning and disputation, I doubt these people who come to me even recognize me as their teacher...how can they accept instructions from me. The truth can be received only when the student reaches the deep humility which is willing to admit.. " I am empty; I know nothing. Fill me". You have to be prepared to accept my teaching in humility and without argument.

What I let them discover is that many of their former beliefs were erroneous. And they are shock to discover that they cannot continue to accept some of their most cherished beliefs because to my enlightment are not true. Another form of surrender...a surrender of their held most sacred oftentimes take place against their own convictions, against the faith and belief that they have stored up for years and years. The way to truth is not easy

If we sincerely love truth, we will give ourselves unstintingly to the search...to love. Whatever is necessary to do, we will do, if it is to buy books, or surrender.....if it is to give time, if it is effort, if it is devotion, whatever is necessary to give ,we will give. It take the whole heart, the whole soul, the whole love of one's being and above all things, it takes secrecy to find love. Few people realize the prize that has to be paid for this. The price is high. Many still have the idea that it is a part-time job. That is nonsense. So the question that must be answered by you in depth of your consciousness is...are you ready to give up everything for love.



PART 3-SURRENDER: SO HOW TO I SURRENDER AND LET GO?

Stress exist because you insist. It is your mistaken belief that you must push life in the direction you choose that keeps you in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Your wish to have power over lie comes from this wrong relationship with life. Reality has its own effortless course, and you can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with yours. You do not need power to flow. Why push when you learn to ride.

We always revert to some kind of force when things don't go our way. Why else do you think that a person seeks power in this life? No one seek power to do good unless it's first for the good for himself. We seek power because we want the force to make things go the way we want...to crusch the small and large rebellions and disturbances whenever they may arise whether at home or at the work place. We seek self-power because we are dominated by our own feelings. We are taken over by our own reactions. We believe that another person or event is causing our unhappy feelings. We want power ove them in the hope that it will give us power over our punishing feelings. Can you see that this approach to self-command is doomed from the beginning. Everyone is so busy looking for something or someone else to give them this power that no one seethat no one has it. From the so called bottom rung to the power  ladder all the way to its so called top, everyone on it is the exact same postion.

Life-changing moments are entirely missed because what is wrong with us..our EGO always see the truth as an attacking enemy. Let me show you what I mean so that the next time truth makes an unexpected appearance in your life you will recognize it for what it is.....a beneficial force that is on your side.....the universe is on your side. Permitting the turth to do what it is intended to do will permit you to be what you want to be---which is happy. Let the universe unflow itself.

A crisis always precedes any real inner-advancement because real spiritual growth is a process of removing self-blocking thoughts and feelings. The reason a crisis must precedes each new level of authentic self-unity is that the crisis, whatever it may be, points out where we have been holding onto a paritcular belief, a shaky pertence, or some flattering but deceptive self-image that is in conflict with reality. Where there is conflict there is always pain. This explain why a crisis is a close encounter of the truthful kind.

So how do you surrender to the universe and all its truth? Do what i do.....WANT WHAT LIFE WANTS...beacause when you want what life wants, your wish is for life itself. And what if you don't likfe what life bring to you? Try to see that it is not what life has brought to you that you don't like. It is your reaction that turn the gift of the universe into the resentment of it. Because unhappy feelings are born out of life failing to conform to your ideas of what you need to be happy. This shows you, if you will see it, that life itself isn't denying your happiness. It is your ideas about life that have failed you. Give up these wrong ideas instead of giving up on life.

If you don't want what life wants:
-you are often nervous and anxious because life may not cooperate with your plans
-you are willing to sacrfice whatever it takes to get what you want
-scheming in some way to win
-easily angered when someone or something gets in your way
-forever driven to want something else
-you are certain that what you have is who you are

If you want what life wants:
-you are never disappointed with what happens
-always in the right place at the right time
-confident no matter what the circumstance
-out of reach of anger and anxiety
-free of ever feeling as thought you've missed out
-eternally grateful

Most people would like to let go and let life lead, but are afraid...."what will happen to me if i give up my demands...won't i lose control of my life?

You cannot lose control of something you never had control over in the first place. No human being control life---his or her or anyone else's. If it weren't for for the universe coming down and filling your body right now, you wouldn't be reading these words. If you want to measure the level of an individual's stress measure his insistence that life does as he wants. The only thing you will lose by learning to want what life wants is your fear of not being in control---which was never real control in the first place but only the sensation of it born out of living with its painful opposited.

Let life bring you itself. Welcome it. At each instant, it is new, full--untouched and undiminished by any moment before it. Let go of what hold you down is how you cooperate with going up. Learn to cooperate with the stream of live with truthful principles. You need to float with the current of life.

People can't understand how I can surrender to a stranger. I tell them I trust the universe. The universe knows what is best for me.



PART 4-SPIRITUAL/SURRENDER: WHY YOU SHOULD SURRENDER TO THE UNIVERSE

The body that you call yours is really the raw material of the universe....so is the trees and the stars. Quantum physics tells us that the world is composed of underlying field of intelligence that manifest as the infinite diversity of the universe. We see particles emerge from the void. If I look outside and see the stars and galaxies, that is what is happening, and that is me. I am the light, I am the eyes that perceive it. I am the music and I am the ears that hear it. There is no other than I than the one being...the entire universe.. The ocean of infinite consciousness gives birth to the billions of the souls in the world. It express itself as the infinite diversity of life.

If you think of yourself as a person, then you will see people everywhere. But if you realize that you're not a person, then you will feel the presence of spirit, the one being everywhere. The being who's looking out of my eyes, and the being who's looking out of your eyes, is the same being in a different disguise.Once we have glimpsed our soul, we start to glimpse the soul of a flower, of a tree, of a river and we commue with it and realize they are just an extend part of our body.When we wake up to divine consciousness, we don't just see a leaf, or a table, or clouds, we see the whole universe being all these things. We feel the presence of spirit unfolding in whatever we observe, We pierce  the mask of appearance and go beyond and see everything. When we enter this reality, we feel safe even in the midst of danger. No matter how turbulent and chaotic the world is around us, we feel deep peace inside.In the deepest level of existence, when I look at you. I am looking at myself. My deeper self is interacting with itself and creating both me and you. When i look at a tree, I am looking at myself.

You want to know why things don't change in your life? It is because 95% of the thoughts we have today are the same as the one we have yesterday. Everyday we unconsciously create the same energy patterns that give rise to the same physical expression of the body. If you are stuck with the notion that there is only one way to create the building, you put the bricks in the same places...year and years and you'd get the same kind of building. Our state of mine creates our relationships, our environment, and the situations and circumstances of our life. Know that the how you speak to yourself actually cause things to change in your physiology, in your world. There is no difference between what is happening in your inner world and what is happening in your outer world. The outer world is just a reflection of your inner world

Fear, doubt, concern and worry put you in a contracted state that interferes with the spontaneous flow of intelligence of the universe. What we call stress is that we actually constricts the flow of intelligence as it moves from the unmanifest to the manifest. So anytime you feel resistence, anytime things are going wrong, anytime you feel frustration, then you are not connecing to the universal energy. The state of fear is the state of separation, it is resistance to what is. We have this belief that I have to work hard to accomplish my goals, and the harder I work, the more likely it is that my goals will get accomplished. Question then? Do you see any effort in the migration of birds in the winter, or your controling every activity in your body that makes you alive. This universal energy can orchestrate an infinite number of things while monitoring the movement of the entire cosmos. Nature functions with maximum efficiency and this principle is do less, accomplish more. If we mirror the way nature works, we can do less and accomplish more. When things don't seem to go our way, we let go of our ideas of how things should be, trusting that for the moment at least, we do not know the larger picture. In the overall context, that larger picture is good for us. We understand that our life has purpose that fits into the ourall purpose of the cosmos. It is our attitude of detachment and acceptance that will show we know that the universe is on our side.

The universe is handling all the details for everything and everyone. Just have complete confidence in universal intelligence to take care of the details. This intelligence is after all managing all the details of our body and mind. This intelligence is managing all the details of the natural world, it's keeps the stars and planets in postions. If we can trust it to do all of that, then we can trust it to handle the details of our desire.You know you are free when you surrender to the moment to what is, and trust that the universe is on your side. Think about this for one second. Every event is being orchestrated by infinite consciousness, and every event is a conspiracy of an infinity of events. For anything to happen in your body, in your mind, in your life, the entire universe has to conspire. There is no such things as accident or random events...if everything in the universe is connected. Everything is connected to everything else and if we are in synch with the universe, then we will experience synchronicity. The more connected we are, the more we experience coincident or simultaneous events. Coincidences are messages from your soul. For anything to happen, the whole universe has to be happening the way its' happening. Every even in life is conspiracy of the entire universe, so if you resist this moment, you resist the entire universe. Difficult situations don't create suffering, resistance to what is create suffering. When you experience resistance, your unconscious mind is preceiving a situation as intolerable. Your resistance only perpetuates the situations because your attention is on the problem.

To surrender is to join the flow of life. The situation that surrounds this moment may be intolerable, but this moment is still perfect. By surrendering to this moment and doing whatever the situations demands, you are acting from soul level. If you surrender to the moment, you act without expectations, but certainly with an intended outcome because the power of the whole universe is behind the intention, this moment. Whenver you feel resistance, just observe that resistance, then surrender to what is. You are in the unknown at this moment and everything from this moment onward is the unknown. Most people fear the unknown, when they should really be afraid to the known. To live in the known is to live in the prison of the past, and therefore in the imagination. The known is an illusion. The real reality is the unknown, so why not live in what is actually real? When we step into the unknown, we are free of the past. When we step into the unknown, we are free of the past. When we step into the unknown, we are free of every limitation because of fresh choices. When you connect to your soul, you connect with the field of intelligence that is orchestrating the infinite and diverse activity of the universe. Your individual desire will ripple across the ocean of universal consciousness.

Realize that whatever is happening, it comes and goes. You don't need to look positively or negatively at a difficult situation. Happiness and sadness are different faces of infinite consciousness. Both are transients, and you are neither because you are not a state of consciousness. The tension of the two that makes life meaningful. What would life be if there wasn't this contrast. Life would be dull. Have you ever been to a movie where everything is always fine? It would be boring.

The world appears to be continuous, in reality it's going on and off like a flashing neon sign. If we could see the world at the level of the photons, it would be on-off, on-off. Our experience of the world is like watching a movie. On the screen we see continuity, but when we visit the projection room, what do we see? We realize that the movie is a series or still frams with little gaps between them. If the reel of the flim move fast enough, our eyes don't notice the gaps...same as it is with life.

If we could see the body through the eyes of a physicist, we'd see a huge empty void with a few scattered dots and some random electrical discharges. The body has a hundred trillions cells, which is more than all the stars in the Milky Way galaxy. Each cell is doing countless things per second, and it instantly knows what the other cells are doing and correlates its activities with all the other. Who makes your heart beat, and digest food, or even breath? It is the univesal energy that is in you, if it does all that make make the stars and moon...why can we let go and trust it with our life?




PART 5-SURRENDER: SURRENDER TO LOVE

We pine with all our heart for love to be ours, but we're too scared to take the risk of doing whatever it takes to be in the game. Still we continue to hope that someone, somewhere wll know how desperaely we want to be loved. Regardless of our refusal to put ourselves out there, we fantasize that someone, somehow will come along and rescue us from our longing.

We have this idealistic notiong that we should meet someone naturally while going about our day-to-day life not putting ourselves out in any special way. From our perspective trying to meet someone feels too contrived. Most of us describe ourselves as picky when it comes to the opposite sex and we just don't believe that the ones we be interested in would be working that hard to met someone themselves. Sometimes we use the excuse that we are bring selective as a way to avoid risk. We long to surrender ourselves absolutely to the force of love, yet we want to remain to full control of every aspect of the experience. We complain of how little love there is in our lives, all the while closed and defended to the world around us. It's easy for us to say we want love in our lives, but that will require us to let down our guard and risk being open and available on a whole new level. Many of us are so busy trying to impress people that we've forgotten to be vulnerable as well.

Loves comes to us in many ways. We have no idea, really, how or when it will come. Nor do we know what it will look like when it does. To love is to risk. There is no way around it. Taking a risk means that there is no sure way to predict whether you will win---and get what you want, or lose---and not get what you want. A risk with an assured outcome is not risk. That is simply you playing small in life. Taking risks means that you are willing to take actions that are outside of your comfort zone. In order to create more love in your life, you may have to say yes to things you might had said no to in the past. You may have to give up your defenses of judging and finding fault with everyone you go out with. You may have to give up you the paralysis that comes from allowing your fear of making a mistake to stop you.

I have decided to dedicate myself to culitvating the ability to give and receive love. We have it backward to be honest. We want to have love so that we can do loving things so that we can be loving. But the opposite is true. We need to activate an experience of expanding our hearts to feel love (being) and then behave in loving ways (doing), so that we might draw towards us those things that create more love and fulfillment (having).

We must surrender to love Surrendering is like floating on the water. You relax, allowing the water to fully carry your weight, knowing that you are completely supported and that you are safe to let go. Resignation, on the other hand, is like sinking. You have to feeling of dread, knowing that you aer not safe and that things are not OK. When you feel this way, try reminding yourself of the buoyancy and strength of water to hold the entirety of your hopes and dreams and see if you can get yourself above it



PART 6-SPIRITUAL/SURRENDER: SAY YES TO THE UNIVERSE

It's simple. Whatever happens to your in life, just nod your head, up and down, insteat of shaking it, side to side, Just say YES instead of NO. Saying yes means letting go of resistance and letting in the possibilites that our universe offers in new ways of seeing the world. It means to relaz bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety. Aside from the emotional benefits, the physical benefits are enormous. If you always say YES to your universe, wouldn't you be able to avoid feeling pain? I thought about this...and you can't avoid pain, but you can say yes to the pain, understanding tht it is a part of life. You do not, then feel yourself as a victim. You know tht you can handle the pain, as well as the situation causing the pain. You do not feel it is hopless. You ability to cope effectively with the world around you corresponds to your ability to say YES to your universe, including the pain. Aknowledgment of pain is very important, Denial is deadly.



PART 7- SPIRITUAL/SURRENDER: HOW CAN YOU NOT TRUST IN THE INTELLIGENCE THAT BEATS OUR HEART, AND....

Surrender to our destiny. When you live in spirit...you cease to be guided by the ego demands and surrender to the always present force that urge to happiness. I have learned to remove resistance to the free flow of this energy by reminding myself to align with it. Life as we know it springs from an invisibleness energy. This is a purposeful Universe..with an intelligence supporting its creation...and we're pieces of that intelligence.

I know that there are no accidents in a universe directed by a energy that creates endless real magic in the form of its creations. All of us started with a wave of energy that manifest into a tiny subatomic particle, and then to a quark, an electron, a molecule, and ultimately a cell that comprised all that we needed for the physical manifestation of our body. We agreed to move from the world of energy to the world of particle and form, to come forth at the exact time that we did. Being in a universe that's created and guided by an organizing intelligence that precludes accident and coincidences..I've always felt this spirit and energy in me....hence your entire life is the unfolding of a plan that you participated in. Whatever shows up in your life then becomes a part of the perfection of this plan. I do trust this universe...how can you not trust in the intelligence that beats our heart 60 times a minute and at the same time turns the earth once every 24 hours, keep the planets aligned, can create every millisecond.

A beggar on a street corner may have agreed to come into this world of boundaries to teach and generate the  awareness that leads to more compassion in this world--or even to teach a single person...perhaps you..to be more compassionate.

Is there any place that God isn't? And if we came from God then mustn't we be like God? You see, we're already connected to everything we need when we're inspired---what takes place is a realignment within us that allows for everything, every event, and every person to merge in our inspirited consciousness. When we re merge into the perfect oneness of God....we view everyone we meet as an ally through our inspired way of  life. When we're in harmony with God....we're just like God, so our desires and God desire are the same.

We have two choices for meeting problem...
1-once is assure ourselves that we're weak and incapable
2-go within and connect to God



PART 8-SPIRITUAL/SURRENDER: ACCEPTING WHAT IS UNFOLDING OF WHAT IS ( SURRENDERING)


At the center of the universe is a loving heart that continues to beat and wants the best for every person. Quantum theory in modern physics acknowledge and confirm this...the interconnectedness with all things. The cosmos found a way to become conscious...I am that way.There is a sense of something greater than myself that is at work beyond my control. This plan is my fate when I am its mercy. Destiny can be the evolutionary design of the whole universe as it fulfils itself in the daily display of my life. What we refuse to being into consciousness comes back to us as fate. It hits us from without when we refuse to heed its message. That is why it makes sense for us to forge a lasting agreement with the universe....which can only be an unconditional Yes to what is. Attention to the universe helps us consciously join the unfolding of what is.

The challenge is to find our destiny in exactly what we are refusing to engage in. The conditions of our life are assisting forces on the path of our destiny. If what I see beyond or through people and things in my life to contact with God. You have to faith...trust in the universe...it doesn't act like a shield from life's conditions. I trust that no matter what happens...I am surrounded by grace. This is how divine providence is real.

Once we realize that all is impermanent, there is nothing to grasp, cling to , or control, and there is no one to do the clinging. If all things are impermanent, then so is the ego that desire them. I let go of my insistence on control and entitlement. I drop all attempts to uphold my ego. I stop using people or things to end my loneliness. I give up being possessive. I give up defending of my ego territory in favor of opening myself to love. I am defenseless against life's surprise and simultaneously resourceful in the face them. This combination of defenselessness and resourcefulness is the basis of freedom from fear.

In every Anonymous group...a recovery requires a spiritual program. Willpower will not suffice. A higher power refer to a source of power beyond what ego is capable of. I am powerless makes the ego insufficient is the concept of the 12 step plan to heal.

Everything that happens to us, every person who comes alond in our lives ,every success, failure, betrayal and loyalty is meant not to debilitate us but to empower us.Healthy people have made peace with that....that we cannot be in full control, but we can have plans to deal with things that happens to us.

So many people I know after a breakup...resort to the ego's armory and defend themselves by putting up a wall against future relationships. Such self-defense walls them in...and they have these self-defeating graffiti:
-You cannot trust men/woman
-They will always disappoint you.


What life does is to show you that our source of security has no real foundation. Only illusion, disguises and makes that we are relying on to establish our identity. Have not tragedies and crises in your life..open the door to new vistas, helped you to find your own truth, and led you to more love and make you more compassionate toward and understanding of other?



PART 9-
SPIRITUAL/ SURRENDER: SURRENDER TO WHAT IS FRONT OF YOU
We spend our lives waiting for the great day that we are met with love. It can appear as one striking event that sets off a chain reaction. It is always unexpected and somehow uncanny in tis accuracy of connection or revelation. This is what makes it impossible to dismiss coincidence.Perhaps all is happening in life is just as we intend. Then suddenly we meet someone or find out something, or have a accident and our world spins in a new direction that ultimately makes all the difference...This is just moment like that. Something happen in your  external world and it fits exactly with what you need right now that lead you to me. We do not create our destiny....we participate in its unfolding. The world orchestrates some of our events so they can harmonize with the requirement of our journey with life. There is conjuction between ourselves and the world outside. When event like this happen in our lives....we must greet them and grant them hospitality in the yet unopened rooms of our souls. So open yourself up to me. You must recognize the cruical significance in all that you do or don't do. You can read this and just move on.....or read this and surrender. You must trust that something, you know not what, is always work, you know hot how, to make you more than you are now, to make the world more than it is yet. You must understand that people and events in your lives are just showing you what you need to know or where you are ready to go. Everyone and everything in our story is part of our life is coming toegether and there is nothing left to fear.



PART 10-SURRENDER: DEAREST....YOU MUST SURRENDER TO YOUR DESTINY

Surrender requires a leap of faith, a jump into the unknown. Your inner dialogue can support this by saying, "Things are not going my way. I'm letting go of my idea of how they should be. My sense of me and mine has to expand. Your thoughts must not conflict with the designs of the universe. Notice the coincidences in your life. Coincidences are messages. They are clues from God urging you to break out of your karmic conditioning, your familiar patterns of thinkings. They are offering you an opportunity to enter a domain of awareness where you feel loved and cared for by the universe.

To talk about coincidences as coded messages from the universe make life sound ilke a mystery novel. Pay attention, watch for clues...like the coincidences of you reading my words, decipher the meaning and eventually the truth will be revealed. In many ways, that's exactly what happens. After all, life is the ultimate mystery. What makes life mysterious is the our destiny seems hidden from us, and only at the end of our lives will we be in a postions to look back and see the path we followed. How would if feel if we look back on our lives together...you and me. In retrospect, the narrative of our lives appears perfectly logical. We can easily follow the thread of continuity upon which we gathered our life's experience. Even now, at whatever point you are in your life, look back and notice how naturally your life flowed from one milestones to the next, from one place or job to another, from one set of circumstance to an entirely different set. Notice how effortless it all could have been if you had only known where your path was leading. Most people look back and ask What was I so worried about? Why was I so hard on myself?

The sum total of teh universe is conspiring to create your personal destiny....how else can you explain you being here reading my words? If we look at all the disparate incidents in our lives very deeply, they all have a history woven together with a personal destiny. We cannot even imagine the complex forces behind every event that occurs in our lives. There's a conspiracy of coincidences that weaves the web of karma or destiny and creates an individual's personal life---mine or yours. The only reason we don't experience in our lives is that we do not live from the level where it is happening. Usually we see only cause-and-effect relationships: This causes that, which cause this, which cause that----linear trajectories. Yet beneath the surface, something else is happening, Invisible to us is a whole web of connections. As it becomes apparent, we see how our intentions are woven into this web, which is much more context-bound, much more relational, much more nurturing than our surface experience.

Very often we fall into ruts in our lives, we maintain the same routines and act in teh same manner predictably day after day after day. We set our minds on a certain course of action, and simply proceed. How can miracles happen if we march mindlessly, unthinking and unaware, through our lives? Coincidences are like road flares, calling our attention to something important in our lives, glimpes of what goes on beyond everyday distractions. When sperm met egg to create the human being that you rae, no one could have imagined the remarkable tale of your life, the fantastic twists, the love you would create, the impression you would leave upon the earth. And yet here you are, living proof of daily miracles.




PART 11-SURRENDER: LEARNING NOT TO BE AFRAID OF SURRENDERING TO ANOTHER PERSON


The realization that two can be as one is the essence of surrender. Why should you be committed to someone else? Peace, fidelity, trust---they key words are given in these verse. The most profound reason for committing to another person is also the simplest--marriage is sacred. Unity makes another person's viewpoint completely clear; you understand someone who is outside yourself. What makes this possible is that realization that your beloved isn't outside yourself---she is only outside your ego, he is only expressing need that are not the core of himself. At the core you and your beloved are not separate, since needs, likes and dislikes, and lack are all outside the core.

WHen you think of the word surrender..you probably associate it with defeat, but there is another meaning to surrender, as you can remember from the experience of falling in love. Falling in love allows you to surrender to what you deeply desire, not what someone else is trying to impose. Struggle and surrender are two poles of free will. There are no accident in spirit--everything happening around you is a reflection of your current spiritual state. If your spirtual state is confused, anxious, and doubtful, then there is limited power of dharma operating in your life. Letting go is a process. You have to know when to apply it, what to let go of, and how to let go. Your mind is not going to show you any of these things; worse still, your ego is going to try to prevent you from making progress, since it believes that you have to hold on in order to survive. The whole path to love could be described as learning to let go.

Most people are afraid to let go because their mind draws upon fixed belief and expectation, images of past pain and pleasure residing in memory, waiting to guide them in future situation. If you were bitten by a big dog as a child, seeing a big dog today will make you draw away. Memory has told you, in a fraction of a second, that your reaction to big dogs should be fear....so it is with surrender. Overcoming this or any reaction require an act of awareness. It goes into it and questions whether you need to listen to your memories. In the face of the big dog, awarness tells you that you aren't a small child anymore and that not all big dogs bite. Being aware of this, you can ask if you need to hold on to fear.

So everytime you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future, The past is closed and limited, the future is open and free

Because the mind holds on with an endless set of expectations, beliefs, and images, you could practice letting go every moment of your life. The crucial times to let go are when you feel the strongest urge not to. We all hold on tightest when our fear, anger, pride and distrust take over. At those moments when you are most afraid, angry, stubborn, or mistrustful, you are in the grip of unreality. Your ego is forcing you to react from the past, blinding you to new possibilities here and now. The underlying feeling might sound like the following:
-you feel you can't cope anymore
-you feel boxed in
-you feeel you won't survive
-you feel that something bad always happens to you

These feeling give rise to the rigid, contracted state of resistence, disallowing the reality that good things can happen at any time. A key word to hoding on is ALWAYS. As soon as your mind tells you that something always happens, you are in the grip of a false belief. Always is never true. At any moment you have the choice to break out of what is really trapping you---your automatic reactions dredged up from the past.

Whenever you tell yourself that you can't let go, you are making an emotional statement. In reality you can let go of any situation any time. "I can't" really means, "I fear the emotional consequence if I do". Your ego draws a line in teh sand and insist that you will not survive the inner feeling that will arise if the line is crossed. A powerful limitation is being self-imposed here, and at bottom it isn't true. You will survive any emotion; indeed, whatever you consider to be too much fear, too much loss, too much humiliation, too much disapproval, too much rejection has already happened. You have crossed the lines many times, otherwise you wouldn't know where to draw it. What your ego is really saying is tht you can't cross the line again.



PART 12-SURRENDER: SURRENDERING TO MY SOUL



I wish only to give in to your open arms, to yield to them. Such surrender I dream of. A surrender that leaves my breath in my throat and I can not exhale nor inhale at that moment. A surrender that leaves me completely and utterly at your mercy. A mercy that will fulfill my deepest desires that I dare not utter. There is no need to utter such words when you feel my body respond in kind to your own. You hear my breathless hums that escape from my lips. I have lost all reason in this place of now. I am now with you only and this surrender has brought me here. It has taken me to a place I no longer know who I am, or maybe I am going to who I truly am. Please do not stop this torture I demand to feel. You know what you do to me, you know how I will respond but this time you have gone far beyond what I may ever comprehend. This time you have pushed me to a point I will not return to. I do not care who is around, I do not care if they see. I only care for you to continuously be as you are. I only care that our bodies are together in a blaze of flames. I only care that I have no voice left for l if e. I only have my body to offer you now, no words will ever suffice to what I feel at this present moment. I feel much like a tidal wave within my body, building to great heights and strength far out at sea. These waves wash over me as they bathe my soul with ecstasy. I am no longer in the present I am no longer in the past, I cannot see the future for I have left this place to somewhere else. I have soared to a place far above this uncivilized world. A place where I wish to never leave. You have sent me on this journey. A journey of surrender like I have never known. My eyes lock with yours as I drown in these waves. I cannot hold them steady with yours for they are closing with the heaviness of my desire for you. I cannot see you for they are clouded by the tears I shed for our union. A union that has come to only by this surrender of oneself.

When you decide to give your love to someone, be wise and selective. Make sure she/he is deserving and most importantly appreciative. I truly believe that appreciation is a gift within itself. That's a problem with people (in general)today, they don't
value and appreciate others or recognize their great qualities or inner beauty. We live in a society that is focused on surface knowledge But, we are all on our own journey in this great big school called earth.

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP.........
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate may have different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of GOD who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain.

Don't take someone to the alter to alter them.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

In order to keep a relationship strong, communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children, daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note) a message on their voice-mail or email. Sharing common goals and interests.

Growth is important. Grow together not apart, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to mate to have outside interest. You can always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurance of commitment.

Don't try to control one another. Learn to accept each other's families regardless of the situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember, for richer or poorer.

If these qualities are missing, your relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and.... pain replaces the passion.


My inner me is crying out to be set free from this sexual hold that it has on me. It limits me from all that I can be. Maybe this is what God is showing me in through those people. I am hurting lot and want to be loved and accepted and that sex for me is the validation of who I am. I know sex is not the true validation my heart seeks. My wish for myself is that my soul can truly experience love the way it is meant to be experienced, not by need but by the beauty of its entirity. Each person you meet whether good or bad is a gift to you and it is how you receive it and how you bless it that reveals you.

You tell yourself that you will not let this person hurt you again. You say to yourself that no matter what I will move on. If it was really that easy I would not be feeling the way I feel. Feeling used by someone I love, trusted, and blessed. You get so comfortable with a person and than something happens, something always happens. That something always seems to be bad for me. At least with my relationships. I do not want to love anymore the way I loved before, but I know I will some day. Maybe next time I will actually be the one who is loved instead of being the one who seems to be the only one that adores. I am keeping my head up even though I want to cry every night, but what good will that do. I have to be good to myself and move on and hopefully be blessed with someone who deserves me.




PART 13-SURRENDER: SURRENDERING NOT TO FEAR BUT TO LOVE


Practice surrendering to your own fear,but directly to love. A woman's heart and genitals are usually deeply connected. When a woman's heart is truly open to a man. So are her genitals, when she open herself. Sexually to a man, she also open herself emotionally. The heart opens along with vagina..treat her vagina as you would her heart. Never surrender to something less than love. Only love itself, the openness of being, is always true of your deepest heart, your lover may suck you genital with such devotion that you feel adored. Don't surrender merely to feeling of adoration.

Relationship based on the need to be loved are always relationship based on fear, perhaps your need won't be fulfilled. Even in those moments when you do feel completely loved, another part of your fear the lost of this love. Give love so completely that you disappeared in the giving, existing as love, rather than seeing in the hope for love.

It doesn't matter what a man says, his purpose is revealed in what he does. Most man aren't motivated unitl they realize that is doing so they are actually advancing their true purpose. Most men capacity to "fuck" their woman is their capacity to "fuck" the world. I was like that...fucking woman so I can fuck the world back for all the unfairness of my childhood, but that has changed. I have made peace with myself and I don't have to fuck anyone ...i want to make love NOW.


PART 14-SURRENDER: YOU KNOW WHAT SURRENDERING DOES?

To me..nothing is more important than to search for your true self. I don't see the difference between a person who is destroying their life with alcohol and someone who is destroying their life with fear, depression or with being a workaholic. The end is the same---a life that doesn't work and one that ultimately destroys itself and everything around it. You don't need strenght to let go and surrender. What you need is understanding.

I have to cut myself loose from self-destructive situations, but it seem that each time I even get close to letting go I get really scared. And when I get scared I seem to hold on to everything even tighter. What I am trying to do is dominate my fear, but to flatten my fears once and for all...i have to forget about domination...it doesn't work.

As i become more spiritual I begin to realize that whatever it may be that scarying me.....is no the problem. It is my reaction that is fearful. I see now that things that I am afraid of is unintelligent mechanical forces. Most of the time...i see a beautiful woman and I am afraid to approach her. I am not going to let that happen to me anymore. I am going to walk right up to her and say or do exactly what I want instead of letting the fear tell me to do what it wants. I will let that person see me shake if that is what starts to happen. I don't care...beside it is only tempory. I realize that the only thing i have ever been frightened by is my own thoughts about that person. Yes...i did feel the fear, but it wasn't mine. The fear I felt was in what I thought about her. Amazing isn't it? I have been afraid of my own thoughts and not I can let this thought go because it no longer holds its terror.

The problem has always been me. I have always said...life is like a mirror....a reflection of me. We are wrongly led to believe that life makes us into the kind of person we are. The turth is that the kind of person we are makes life what it is for us. The inner determines the outer. Our feelings are the reflection of what happens to us moment to moments. The belief that by changing our unhappy surrounding we will bring an end to our unhappiness. This has never really work for me.

I am going to give up:

-trying to change other people ...even fans of my blog
-my fear of unforeseen changes or challenges because the only thing i can really have to face is myself.

Trying to hold yourself together is a terrible way to go through life. The fear of falling apart can never quieted by adding more pieces to your self. Anything that you have control, controls you. Whatever uncertain situation arises, my mind works feverishly to resolve it in order to regain a sense of control. I feel safe within the dimly lit theater of my own circle of self-pictures.

I know what makes me angry and anxious.....it's when I don't get my way. I have these pictures in my head of how things should be and when life doesn't confirm these pictures, I get negative in one way or another. I present way of thinking believes that my future happiness actually depends upon these pictures. So when my pictures begin to crumble...so do I. So what happen if i call apart....Nothing. What will collapse is the haunted house of self-flattering and security-seeking pictures I have mistakenly identified as a solution to my shaky life. These pictures are not the solutions of my shakiness....they are the source of it.

You know what surrendering does?...Instead of meeting each life's event looking for my picture ....i will instead experience what life has brought to me. It is the painful and stress-producing process of comparision that ruins everything.




PART 15-SURRENDER: IS THE TRADE-OFF OF SURRENDERING TO YOUR MAN IS WORTH IT TO YOU


If a woman is in her business mode day after day....her partner will experience her masculine energy and men are not attracted into intimacy by masculine energy because they already possess that energy. It is a woman's femine love and energy that feel like a gift to them...which open their heart and gives life to him. If you want man who will ravish you in love, day after day, who will always be there for you, who will penetrate your heart with his loving no matter what your mood, then you must reciprocate his trust able masculine energy with your trust able feminine. Regardless of your financial success, connected to your heart, wild, gifting with love. It is up to you to decide if the trade-off is worth it.

It's difficult for men to deal with you if, at your core, you are very feminine, yet you are being very masculine to get a job done. Imagine that all day you are in the fast world of business. You make quick decision and tell people what to do. Come 6 O'clock it's hard to flip a switch and be a radiant goddess, a deeply relaxed woman. It's not so easy to let go of a day's worth of masculine energy. This is on major cause of the deadening of sexual polarity between intimate partners.




PART 16- SURRENDER/LOVE: IS IT CHOICE OR CHANCE WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE?

Originally I'd thought about discussing the balance between 'flash' and 'substance' when choosing a mate. Sure, flash is nice and it's perfectly natural to desire physical attraction for our mate. And substance of character must be there since what we are talking about is being with a person for the long-term, not just doing an afternoon photo shoot. In fact it is, I believe, 'substance' than can grant or remove physical attraction either by its presence or absence. But as I began to gather my thoughts together a chilling reality came to mind.. "Does it really matter?"

I don't mean, 'Does it matter whether the person has substance or not?' What I mean is, in the final analysis.. is it really possible to think we will sketch out the person we want, find them in a crowd and simply choose to have them for a mate? Cooperation on their part will be necessary and their ability to choose one way or the other is for the greater part out of our control. More to the point, just how much does our choice really have to do with things when it comes to falling in love? Do we really choose to fall in love with someone or does it simply 'happen'?

At first I was tempted with some pretty easy answers to these questions until I began to see if they held up to the acid test of actual Life. Remember the old adage, "Love is blind."? That phrase has endured for a reason. How many times have you tried to tell your best friend, "That guy/girl is no good for you, can't you see that?" And they tell you, "Yah, I know. You're right. I agree with you, he/she is a bad choice. But we just got engaged, isn't that exciting?!" Hmm. Now I know we have choice and control, but if we don't use it.. then I have to question whether it has any value when dealing with reality.

A mystery that's puzzled me to no end is how it is that, seemingly from the very get-go, certain people have just seemingly 'decided' that I was the best thing since sliced bread despite the fact that I gave them no attention or treatment different than I'd give anyone else. Or, I will have that favorable disposition for someone who in no way earned or merited it. It isn't based on physical attraction since I have given this 'unmerited favor' towards women I don't find particularly attractive in the physical sense. Yet in my eyes they always enjoy my unmerited favor. It wasn't a conscious decision, it just simply 'happened'.

On the other side of things, if love were simply a logical decision then it would seem to follow that if we could provide reasonable evidence to said person that we were indeed the person they were looking for then we would be able to sway their heart from 'no spark' to 'spark'. If someone said they wanted "X, Y and Z.. with a little Q." and lo and behold you were exactly an 'X,Y,Z and Q' kind of person then you'd be the man/woman for the job! But that's not how love works. If that spark is not there for you then it usually doesn't matter how good a case is presented, you know in your heart it just isn't going to happen.

So back to the original issue.. do we really have a choice or do we just react when that spark shows itself? I'm inclined to believe our actions are the carrying out of what our final choice is. Yet, at the same time, I don't think our choices are always in-sync with our desires. Seems strange, almost nutty. But looking back at some of the women I've gotten serious with, they didn't fit the 'sketch' of the person I'd planned to choose, yet by my actions I still chose to see if it was possible to work it out. Deep down I desire certain qualities in a woman, yet have seen myself choose the opposite of those desires. I'm sure you've seen this in others if not even in your own experience.

So, is there anything we can do about this? The first thing that comes to mind is the idea that we make a list of the qualities we absolutely must have in a person and refuse to get involved with anyone who does not meet that 'profile'. I guess that would eliminate the problem, along with the chance that perhaps you'd pass by the person you'd really be happiest with who is actually different than you'd imagined.. as many happy couples can attest to. (And all this is assuming you have the sheer will to turn away anyone with whom do feel 'spark' for.) You could stand there with your list, look out amongst the crowd, spot the person who finally does fit the 'profile' only to find.. perhaps you don't fit -their- profile. And then repeat the process. Hmm. Yes, we do need to have criteria, but I don't think this list idea is going to solve the issue of choice over 'chemistry'.

A friend of mine told me the other day, "Man, some things just aren't meant to be understood." I have difficulty with that concept. I still don't fully grasp to what degree our choice has to do with who we actually fall in love with, especially when you throw in the concept of destiny, if you believe in such a thing. I don't fully grasp how my stereo pulls songs out of thin air from something called radio-waves either, yet that doesn't preclude it from being understandable to mankind. So many times great couples have gotten together by circumstance or chance. It (love) had already happened before choice had anything to do with it. Some people do set out on a mission to find such and such in a mate and are happy with the results. Perhaps with time this will make sense. Until then I'll just have to play referee between my head.. which says, "This is the person we're looking for because it makes sense." and my heart.. which says, "This one has my undying favor, just because."





PART 17- SURRENDER: THE WILLINGNESS TO FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Last night I saw this show...HOOKING UP, and then after the show I was reading an article years ago concerning how this couple had met. It was during the 1940's and this man was out looking for a job. He saw an ad in the paper for a dockperson needed so he arrived at the dock for the job only to get in line with about a hundred other people. Not to be dismayed he took his place at the end of the line. After a few moments someone else got in line behind him. A woman. For well over an hour the line moved along and meanwhile this man began conversation with the woman behind him, curious as to why a woman might be interested in working the docks.

Finally they each arrived at the front of the line, got their short aptitude test and afterwards turned them in. They were told it would be hours, perhaps the end of the day before applicants would be called back for further interview. The man invited this woman to dinner since they'd struck up such good conversation and by day's end they had become quite enamored with one another. They met again the next day for their first date. Two days after that he proposed  marriage and within a week of meeting for the very first time they were married. The story made it to the article I'd been reading because it was now their 40th anniversary.

Okay, so not everyone who met and married so quickly has stayed together for 40 years as this couple did, but the issue of 'love at first sight' cannot be set-aside so quickly either. Especially in light of people who spend up to six years or more in 'dating' mode, get married and divorce within three years. Surely it wasn't because they didn't know enough about each other by that time that there were great surprises upon saying, "I do." Or could it be that something other than the amount of information we gather about a person is involved in a cohesive, successful match-up?

I've been asked several times, "Alex, do you believe in love at first sight?" My answer is always the same... "I believe we quickly know who we are 'willing' to love, and sometimes change our minds." For myself, almost 95% of the time I can spend one afternoon with a person either on the phone or in person and, if they feel relaxed to be themselves, I'll know within as little as twenty minutes whether I could ever even consider being committed to this person. In my past experience the way I felt one way or the other has rarely, if ever changed with getting to know the person better. Now mind you, I'm talking about my willingness and desire to investigate loving this person for a long term relationship... not to be confused with accurately judging someone's character. When it comes to figuring out a person's character I can be way off the mark, and have been on several occasions.

But determining the 'willingness' to fall in love on our own part is what I am able to believe happens almost at first sight. This is what I've seen bear true almost without fail. I've met kind, generous, affectionate, attractive, loving women and somehow knew right away that I myself would not be happy with this person as a lifelong mate. Not because they weren't good people, I just knew they weren't right for me in particular. She may be a bright,, Southern California dream-girl (I know one in particular) yet as sweet as she is I don't find that 'connection' that inclines me to pursue a deep relationship. The energy she was senting to me was of cautiousness, fear,and not of trust and love and acceptance.She wasn't a good host, she didn't invite love in her heart.Why would I want to sleep with someone who would let me into their body not soul. Similarly, with women I've met for the first time even as their hair was messed up, frantic from their schedule and passing in meeting yet I knew that if their was a mutual attraction between her and I, I would be willing to give it a real chance. Her heart is full love, kindness and generosity. This is where I think people everywhere feel that same 'tug of willingness' and presume they are "in love" at first sight.

Deeper than this is the initial reaction, or lack of reaction, we have to people. There are women I've met and reacted with the 'willingness' to fall in love and to this day I still care for them and their future. I felt that way when I met them and to this day can't shake the care though the situation itself is resolved as impractical. We also meet people sometimes and find they are not as we first thought them to be. But still, after setting aside the possibility of a lifelong commitment with such a person, we still have a certain reaction that seems unalterable. Though they are nothing like we first imagined them to be, we care for them even if we aren't still in love with them. And to this I mean a care that is elevated above that we have for just people in general.

I mentioned that sometimes people ".. change the minds". These are the instances where we quickly find out information that corrects the incorrect impression we got of the person. There was only a nominal reaction to begin with, but upon seeing them slap a child, yell at a waitress or behave arrogantly in front of a mirror we quickly reassess them into the "wouldn't be caught dead with 'em" category. But changing our minds happens the other way around too. Sometimes we meet someone and have the most repugnant or dull first impression of them. Perhaps we misunderstand the situation at hand or catch them in moment completely foreign to their natural character. Later we see them, or rather we see their qualities, as they are and reassess them into the "I could really go for a person like this" category.

I think the 'I love you as a friend' situation bears some evidence to what I say. People we have every reason to admire, trust, even love in a 'Phileo' (friendship) context we do not for some unknown reason ever fall into an Eros (male/female) relationship with. Somehow we know from the very outset that as close as we might allow ourselves to get with this person, inclinations of Eros love are highly unlikely to ever occur in our heart for them. We know this almost at 'first sight'... the willingness to pursue a relationship or not. However, as I mentioned, in a minority of cases we change our mind and realize that there is no one else we could ever see ourselves with upon seeing the rare qualities of integrity they show as a friend. In this case our hearts take a turn and friendship makes that jump into actual love. A risk that only true desire can give us the courage to do.

As a side note... I think what's given a cloud of confusion to the whole matter is the presumption that if someone sees someone of the opposite sex from a distance and says, "I think I'm in love" when what they really mean to say is, "I'd really like to have sex with that person for a few months" they are not only deluding themselves but using words they do not yet understand. The difference between love and lust is usually not hard to figure out. If my thoughts concerning someone are for their good and their future, to give love that seeks to be a helpmate to their life, then it will contrast sharply with the thoughts of lust which only seek to "get" for the satisfaction of the self. When we love we naturally do desire the person physically along with our care for them. But lust has no regard for the person, only for what lust can get to satisfy self.

So do I believe in love at first sight? Yes and no. Yes, I believe it happens.. we know who we are 'willing' to love and occasionally two people meet who both have this reaction to each other. And no, I don't think you can easily make a commitment on a four-day tour of the soul without really, REALLY having some serious destiny at work. Some people call it a 'gut feeling' or 'intuition'. I can't help but wonder what the couple at the dock would've called it.



PART 18  LOVE/SPIRITUAL; WHOEVER THE UNIVERSE PLACE IN BY PATH IS MY SOULMATE (NOTHING HAPPEN MY ACCIDENT)


We get up in the morning with the hope that two disenchanted people will finally find each other and in the process, make the world a better place. So many seemed to pin their hopes on finding and keeping the ideal partner. Yearning we feel when we search for someone or something to make us feel whole and happy. No matter how hard we try to shape our partners into an ideal form--or replace them in hopes of something better--- the longing remain unsatisified. And so it will be, until we realize that no other person on earth can fill the void we've created by forgetting the whole of who we are adn what we are part of. We are, all of us- extension and manifestations of GOD.

Instead of finding peace within ourselves, we looked for happiness in the form of another person, situation, or things, We would work hard to "get" someone, but then the relationship would "fail". Either the magic seemed to wear off or we never took the chance to commit to a partner because there might be a better deal just around the corner. We are here in each other's lives to faciliate in one another a higher state of consciousness...and that is it. We are here to open each other's eyes to God. How better to achieve intimacy with higher nature than to cultivate intimacy with the person who stands before us? You might have assumed that soulmate love was about finding love of your life and setting house together...and it is- but you will come to see that part of the bargain is nothing less than spiritual salvation.

The person who is for you indeed is waiting foryou, its' just a matter of your being able to recognize that person and step up to the plate.

Finding the one promise to unlock all the hidden treasure we always hoped were awaiting us. It's as if by connecting to this person, we sense that we will at long last find ourselves in a paradise indescirbable by all but poet's language. Finally someone will free us with their love, lifting us, exalted, to our very highest potential. We ill come to know ourselves as generous and selfless, as a far more evolved person that we've ever been before. We might finally feel truly understood, deeply know. Our loneliness will vanish, giving way to sublime companionship and we will froget all the unfulfilled craving of a lesser life. At last, we will feel complete and finally
come to know the one.

Soulmate might be teh stuff of fairly tales, but the reason it is so consistent with stuff of myth because we remember that kind of love. We can sense, with every fiber of our being, the veracity of it. When romantic love is fresh, it like a sneak peek into heaven, a taste of enlightened state of consciouseness, a brief visit to love without boundaries.

People ask me why I am not afraid to love...I tell them that I trust the universe. And whoever the universe sent to me....I have faith that they are here for a reason. Most people can't understand that....they assume that whoever show up...i will fall in love with them....and that is true. But that makes the person think they are not special, to me that is their ego talking. As the great Taoist philospher Chuang Tzu said, " Do not struggle. Go with the flow of things, and you will find yourself at one with the mysterious unity of the universe.

You think that person who is in front of you comes by accident? There are no accident. The soul is hungry for experience in order to attain enlightenemnt. The spirit being about and attract circumstance that will assist you to your enlightenment. For example, one might experience one such impediment as the ability to forgive, if so, we will attract experience that will give us ample opportunity to either hold a grude or forgive. Others of us might tend to be selfish or controlling, Such stance would call for the universe to keep providing us with opportunities which would tempt to be submissive or tightfisted. In most of my case, I keep attract woman who are not  sexual, dominating and can't commit. I give them the opportunity to be sexual, submissive and commitment in a relationship. We will either give in to those temptations and stay in our holding pattern which most people do or we make the shift and begin to respond to life in a more evoled manner. By holding our interest to the person the universe is directing us, the person is able to lead us right into the places where we need to grow. In order to stay engaged with that soul who will help us on our mission to spiritual growth and development, there must be an irrestible attraction. We must have to care so much about this person that we hang in there come hell or high water. Whatever the attraction is---sexual chemistry, deep friendship, financial stability, or shared lifestyle.--it has to be alluring to the extent that two people will stay and deal with whatever come up. Because things come up. We do indeed become a better version of ourselves by interacting with this person, and we are certainly moved to be kinder and more loving. What qualifies a relationship as soulful is how much our heart is opened by being with someone. Much to my surprise the people who email me, IM me or even talk on the phone...i sense alot of
resistance, not harmony. The energy around us simply responds to the energy within us. Resistance begets resistance, and openness begets openeness. THe moment I sense resistance, I know this person is not for me. If we lead with ego, we will draw to us even more struggle. when we drop our need to direct how things will work out, they just manifest with ease.

Does this mean we are to love everyone, despite their behavior? Ultimately...YES. Does it mean we have to go on a date, commit to them...NO. But you are to realize that any person with whom you the universe put you in path with present an opportunity to transmute your lower instincts and rise to mastery.

SO when the universe sent me someone..I know that person is here to help me toward enlightment. I am open to them. They are special because the universe pick this person out of 6 billion for me to met. There are no accident.

WHAT SHOWS UP OUTSIDE OF US IS A REFLECTION OF WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE

Whoever is in your life right now is exactly who is supposed to be there. There are no mistakes, no wasted years, Perhaps you've been wondering when the right person will come along and I am telling you...until you can see and honor the innocence and perfection of the one that the universe is senting you, you will not be able to preceive the full glory of love at its greatests. You cannot know what the universe has in store for you, and clinging to a particular vision of  how your soulmate should be can only limit the opening through which he or she will appear.

It may not be ours to dictate who comes to our live, but we certainly have a choice about how to percieve and interact with them. We either move forward or get stuck. We invite more love when we see the world around us through loving eyes, and we entertain isolation or hostility when we look through the lens of judgment. It's really up to us.

At every moment, in every spilt second, spirit is revealed or spirit is concealed. When we see the person before us as lovable, spirit is revealed, because we know that the spirit underlies everything. On the other hand, When we see someone as unlovable, we miss an opportunity to preceive from our highest and most God-like abilities. We serves ouselves well by recognizing that whoever stands before us,--be it girlfriend, mom, dad, patient...is a manifestation of spirit. That maybe seem benign or menacing, but we are all, at our center, made of the very same stuff. We are all the infiviudalized presence of GOD. The more we are able to interpret "bad" behavior as a call for help, the less angry and victimized we will feel in the face of it.





PART 19

!Every strong, single woman I know rolls her eyes when I suggest that lack of faith and fear are what keep her alone. She doesn't typically think of herself as scared because she's built a career and a terrific circle of friends, stood up to dozens of men, and often even raised a child alone. She is capable and hearty. And she's through with “having faith” because so far, it hasn't done a thing for her. Truth is, her faith is wrong. When we believe that something will happen, but have no control over whether it does, the possibility of disappointment looms. What could be more disappointing than believing he's out there, and never finding him? To protect herself, the single woman does a funny little sidestep. She goes into the world with good intentions to find someone who has all the characteristics she wants in a partner. She makes a list of these characteristics by starting with what she knows will meet her parents' approval and what her friends will like. Unfortunately, her list is now both restrictive and irrelevant since it has nothing to do with her own desires.

Each potential suitor is measured against his ability to fit into her complicated jigsaw puzzle of the perfect guy.Of course, nobody fits. She thinks she feels hopeless that there's “no one out there,” but really the terror of risking her heart keeps her from acknowledging that any man might be right. Her good intentions cover her fear, and keep her from having to muster up a critical ingredient for finding love: courage. Nobody wants to have her heart broken, so it's sensible to want to protect herself.

But repeatedly searching for a partner and never finding one feels awful. Since trying to control potential suitors by comparing them to a checklist guarantees you'll end up empty-handed, surrendering means throwing out that checklist and giving yourself a chance to attract the unexpected. When we surrender, we relinquish inappropriate control and override the fear underneath so we can have the thing we crave the most—intimacy. Control and Intimacy are Opposites

If you've been dating off and on but never stay in a relationship for long, you may be telling yourself that you've just never met the right man. Chances are your fear is preventing you from standing still or being quiet long enough to find out if the men you date might be right for you. Perhaps your fear of heartbreak propels you to elicit affection, reassurance and commitments to assuage your insecurities. Maybe you feel safer being physically intimate than emotionally vulnerable and therefore relegate potential relationships to short-lived sexual flings. All of this is about control.

If you haven't gone out on a date in a long time you might be telling yourself that men just don't approach you, when really you've been trying to control who asks you out. Maybe you've been so focused on a man who shows little interest that you're missing out on other opportunities to date because your field of vision is so narrow. Avoiding eye contact with men, refusing offers for blind dates and running off before a guy has a chance to get your phone number are examples of trying to protect yourself with control.
No matter how you try to control the prospects and relationships in your life, the result is the same: loneliness and exhaustion set in where tenderness and romance belong.


Most woman would rather have two broken arms and two broken legs than have a broken heart again,They had been trying to manage their fear by staying in control. They tried to control who approached them. They tried to control how their dates behaved. They tried to prevent heartbreak by looking for and finding some insurmountable obstacle to compatibility with perfectly good men. They even tried to deny that they wanted to be in relationships in the first place.They did all of this because they felt vulnerable.

By definition, vulnerability makes you feel exposed, and therefore afraid. I understand this particularly well because I, too, was once terrified of vulnerability. My favorite antidote to it was control. I felt safer if I thought I could manipulate the outcome of every situation.

Women who try to protect themselves with control have suffered disappointments in the past. Maybe you've been through a tragic divorce or watched your parents split. Such hurt prompts women to erroneously believe that we can prevent all future heartache if we manage everything properly. Of course, it isn't so. First of all, the only thing you get from trying to manage the people around you is the guarantee that you will never find intimacy. Secondly, there are no guarantees against heartache. However, surrendering makes heartache much less likely.

Being submissive and vulnerability makes woman approachable and attractive because it's a gift to the person they're with. It's an unspoken compliment that says, “I trust you to be gentle when I put down my armor. I feel safe with you.” When someone gives me such a gift, my instinct is to be tender so as to reassure her that I understand the honor. Vulnerability will draw me to someone in a way that appearing invincible never could because I identify with the humanity and authenticity. To appear perfect is to keep your defenses up, which means others can't see and love the real you. Once you have someone's empathy, there's only one way for them to interact with you: with compassion.

Women often protect themselves from disappointment and vulnerability by flaunting their independence. So many woman have told me I don't need anybody to take care of me” or “I can handle this?” Strength is attractive, but hard-nosed independence sends a “get away” message to those who want to approach you.

This masculine persona can be effective—and appropriate—in a work environment where forcefulness and toughness get the job done. But you have another side to you that's soft, tender, vulnerable and receptive. That part of you wants to be taken out for dinner, walked home, asked about, thought of, caressed, and just plain taken care of. It's the part of you that relishes feeling protected and cherished. These are undeniable feminine qualities. Since femininity is what men are fundamentally drawn to, those are the qualities that will attract a man who's right for you. Surrendering means acknowledging that as a woman, you have a feminine mind, body and spirit.

When you leave the workplace, you turn off your ambition and bossiness and relax into your feminine grace.Revealing your feminine qualities allows a man to show his strengths, too. For instance, if you let him treat you, you give him the opportunity to demonstrate his generosity and ability to please you, which makes him feel proud and happy to be with you. If you dismiss his offers in the name of self-sufficiency, you reject him. If you try to one-up him or even the score, you're competing with him like one of the guys, instead of luxuriating in his adoration and affection. Pleasing a woman makes a man feel more masculine and good about himself. Men want to see your soft side so they can show their strength. By being feminine, we allow our man's masculinity to shine.

The word “surrender” is frightening to some because it calls to mind losing a battle or spinelessness. But in interpersonal relationships surrendering is simply acknowledging that sometimes the only thing I can change is my attitude, and that doing so has a profound effect on everything else. Making “surrender” your mantra is much shorter and to the point than saying to yourself, “stop trying to dictate who comes into your life and what he'll be like and when he will call.”

The basic principles of a surrender are:

Lets go of the idea of a perfect man
Receives compliments, gifts, help and dates graciously whenever possible
Relinquishes control of the pace of the courtship
Strives to be vulnerable
Honors her desire to be married by ending dead-end relationships
Open where she was guarded
Optimistic where she was cynical
Feminine where she was tough
Gracious where once fended for herself
Respectful where she used to feel superior

When a single woman surrenders she doesn't try to manipulate a man to express his feelings, devotion or commitment because she knows that would render his words meaningless. It creates the same kind of tension and frustration as when you twist someone's arm to do something rather than letting him decide when and how he wants to do it. She refrains from making ultimatums, nagging, criticizing, and correcting the man she is romantically involved with because she knows she can't improve someone else, and that trying will cost her intimacy.

That was the question Time posed on a cover a few years ago. “More women are saying no to marriage and embracing the single life,” the headline went on, “Are they happy?”Some women are comfortable living solo and don't want to get married, When I was dating, I told myself that I didn't want to get married. The dialogue between me and myself was an elaborate way of avoiding my fear of divorce. Yet, my loneliness and desire for a partner were acute. I wasn't so much “embracing the single life” as I was trying to avoid future pain.Admitting there's a hole in your heart exposes you. We all want to be perceived as independent and strong and when we admit loneliness, we fear that people will think we're less self-sufficient—or even worse, that they'll feel sorry for us.

Not taking that risk is a way of trying to stay in control. Ironically, denying what you really want so you can avoid possible hurt puts you even further away from getting what you want and more in the face of the pain. Admitting that I craved a wonderful woman and surrendering to that desire put me at risk of heartbreak.





 I wish only to give in to your open arms, to yield to them. Such surrender I dream of. A surrender that leaves my breath in my throat and I can not exhale nor inhale at that moment. A surrender that leaves me completely and utterly at your mercy. A mercy that will fulfill my deepest desires that I dare not utter. There is no need to utter such words when you feel my body respond in kind to your own. You hear my breathless hums that escape from my lips. I have lost all reason in this place of now. I am now with you only and this surrender has brought me here. It has taken me to a place I no longer know who I am, or maybe I am going to who I truly am. Please do not stop this torture I demand to feel. You know what you do to me, you know how I will respond but this time you have gone far beyond what I may ever comprehend. This time you have pushed me to a point I will not return to. I do not care who is around, I do not care if they see. I only care for you to continuously be as you are. I only care that our bodies are together in a blaze of flames. I only care that I have no voice left for l if e. I only have my body to offer you now, no words will ever suffice to what I feel at this present moment. I feel much like a tidal wave within my body, building to great heights and strength far out at sea. These waves wash over me as they bathe my soul with ecstasy. I am no longer in the present I am no longer in the past, I cannot see the future for I have left this place to somewhere else. I have soared to a place far above this uncivilized world. A place where I wish to never leave. You have sent me on this journey. A journey of surrender like I have never known. My eyes lock with yours as I drown in these waves. I cannot hold them steady with yours for they are closing with the heaviness of my desire for you. I cannot see you for they are clouded by the tears I shed for our union. A union that has come to only by this surrender of oneself.