LOVE: APPROACHING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME

Unable to decipher the visions, the thoughts churning in my head,The cataclysm is silencing, deafening... I find myself speechless...caught in a whirlwind approaching the eye of the storm,I see her there, the peace I'm looking for...wanting to join her in that place, seeking to escape.I'm trapped in self-doubt, entrenched in a shroud of fear  Fear of the unknown,  Fear of endlessly being lost in my own captivity,  Fear of the rejection yet, it arises in me- a tumultuous upheaval burning in me- an eternal flame

I close my eyes and feel her touch,The warmth extends to the very tips,To every fraction of my body,Calming the rising tides.  I know not of words that are right,  I know not of actions that please,  I know only of the feeling I feel in me,And care not for the pleasure of the audience

They see what they want, through their tainted lenses,And I have amused them far too long
They see not what I see- when she sees right through me,They see not the indivisible connection that draws me near I cut the strings that dictate my life,Cynically forcing my every move No longer a marionette for these puppeteers.

For it lives within me,   It moves to the rhythm of my heartbeat,  It pumps and pulses through my veins,  It takes me whole...  It needs not approval nor permission,  It knows not of limitations and boundaries  It has no words to complete it's definition...indescribable, unparallel

That word, that term, that rises up from the hearts of young lovers to the tips of their tongues
Passing through their lips to the heart of another, that word, that term, so miniscule, so undeserving, un-triumphant in its attempt to describe that that is beyond all words...yet, its pacification somehow temporarily subdues.

But the grandeur, the complexity, the effortless epitome of a never-ending, ecstatic paradise
In all it's glory and pain, in all it's bitter sweet existence...It is the one thing that drives us all,
We except its occasional pangs because we are blinded by it's beauty,We are deaf to any defamations, we are caught within that which does not bare a name.

I, too, am entrapped- yet, with a challenging grin intrepidly I dive into it, prepared to sacrifice all else. Embracing it.... as I embrace her fall victim too it.... as I fall into her.Lost in it.... as I get lost in her, I mock the viewers, I mock the world

I laugh as they crumble in disbelief,
Shocked that I am self-moving,
  That I can breathe,
  That I can feel...
  That I am human.

No longer this masquerade. I pull her close, indulging in a kiss,m elting into her as the curtains close

LETTER: MY LOVE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

My love, where have you been? Why did you hold back the light and ignore the cry of my heart? Where you aren't, darkness is. Where you aren't, emptiness abides--Only love could fill the vacuum your absence brings. For years I've seen many gray clouds, not only at the sky, but also in my mind. My eyes have seen people tread lustful ways -- They chase dark shades and shun bright lights. Oh, I beseech thee, dearly beloved, Draw close to me and in my heart sink. Let the shining light of your love Forever be my guide. You found a way to touch my soul; You slipped into my heart. I don't know how you did it. Were you there from the start? I had felt the darkness envelope me, an endless night prevailed,Then I saw your smile before me and dawn broke again. I could not explain what had transpired, I just know I saw you and my heart opened up again.

I long to hold you, touch you. You are always on my mind. To feel your body close to me, your spirit entwined with mine. Yet I must wait, Wait awhile for you. If you knew how I feel for you, You would think me a fool. So, I will wait patiently as time slips slowly by. Someday I will hold you close to me, feel your spirit meld with mine. If you were a teardrop in my eye,For fear of losing you. I would never cry. And if the golden sun should cease to shine its light, Just one smile from you would make my whole world bright. When leaves have fallen from the trees and the sky is filled with storm, Just the thought of your gentle touch is enough to keep me warm. If only i had the courage to speak these words to you. Every one is from the heart and couldn't be more true

VIDEO: The Godfather 2' Ending Scene THIS IS THE FIRST THANKGIVING WITHOUT MY DAD ...AND THIS IS HOW I FEEL

I MISS MY DAD SO MUCH TODAY. I HAD A BREAKDOWN AT WORK.

THE FAMILY WILL NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN..................................

VIDEO:Jimmy Fallon Blew a Chance to Date Nicole Kidman TWICE

"Dreamweaver" played -- a joke from the movie, "Wayne's World."

DATING: GOOD GUYS ARE EVERYWHERE...YOU JUST WANT TO SEE THEM

 

I've had many conversations with women over the years who were either frustrated in their present relationships or in their pursuit of a perfect mate.  When we've discussed things that occurred in their current or past relationships that have frustrated them, patterns typically emerge which reveal that they either have poor standards, pick or accept men who were clearly unsuited for them (despite their failure to heed the warning signs) or even have their own issues to resolve that they previously couldn't admit existed (until I pointed them out based upon what they shared or I observed).

One of my sister a "great guy," but another woman might feel that she could've done better   Therefore, your success in finding a "good man" is based upon you defining the attributes necessary for a man to meet your qualifications and you also realizing that if your "perfect man" definition is flawed, getting in repeated relationships with men that turn dysfunctional is not a consequence of only meeting jerks, it's because your selection criteria, selectiveness in accepting a man into your life or ability to settle for something less makes you the main cause of your own frustration.

The good guys... the good people in general haven't gone anywhere.

It's just sometimes, we think good has a particular look, or feel, or sense of time and....is dressed in gorgeous beauty, looks cool, looks exciting, cute face, those muscles, how he defines you in the world, what friends will think when dating him...we rationalise, we dive, we swim in our own perception, our reality and our reality is truth.

Sometimes what someone says regarding good guys means someone they are attracted to in looks, in style, or in income, job, or feeling, an instinct, a perception, this and that...and not really looking for a good guy.

Somertimes when someone says “good guys” they mean someone who they can walk all over. Some guy who will take on the drama, pathetic mind games and then say they are not compatible because the “good guy” said, “enough is enough.”

A lot of good guys exist, but the smart ones are only good to those who deserve that kindness and will appreciate it. Otherwise you are just a victim.

If you show me that you appreciate what I do for you, I will be happy to do it again and receive your kind actions in return, not because you have to, you are kind too. If you just take from others and never give, don’t expect someone intelligent to continue being used.

I have good manners, I’m polite and always cheerful even when I’m angry or sad over something, hold doors for girls, I even helped an elderly lady on one occasion cross the street.

Women either mistook me for being a calm and peaceful person to a desperate weakling, or they even assumed the opposite which is that I’m only doing this to brag or show off.

And yes, it made me feel better about myself but I’m not selfish and I only do such deeds because it’s the humane thing to do and I think everyone should be capable of helping others or at least not try to put others down and become vile jerks.

When most people ask...

"Where are the good men?"

Translated..

"Where are the men that I'd be attracted to, turns me on, makes my heart go Boom! Boom! Boom! He needs to look like this, dress like that, be like this, ACCEPT ALL my flaws and pathetic drama, and shit atitude or forget it. Friends need to accept him. I don't want to be embarrassed when walking with him and for all to see. Oh no....must be this and that."

Got nothing to do with heart, character etc cetre.

Many women saying this...

"I love my boyfriend, he's such a good guy, good man but....I met this guy at work.."

The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's on the side we water and nurture.

But because people like to believe in the..

Hmmm...possibilities...fantasies....something better round the corner....the new...the fresh....the new sensation...the on going pursuit or inteference....and this nagging...prodding of the grass is greener.

Many good men, good women all around us but it seems the good that people look isn't conscious. It's unconscious.

They cannot hold onto a good man because good for many women is not good enough for them then bitch about where they are.

So the question isn't where the good guys or good women have gone.

The question is...

Why aren't you or whoever asks this type of question ..attracting the....good men?

Is being a good man....good enough?

Because the good is out there.

People get the good but the good isn't so exciting when they got it. The good isn't like the fantasy Hollywood, Bollywood and Romance novels.


So, what is the solution? Meet a person. Make a list about them of what you like and what you don't like. Spend some time with them, check your compatibility. He might be a stoner, an architect, McDonalds cashier, a banker, a sociopath or just another human being for all it matters. Are you comfortable enough with him (after making sure of the fact that he won't kill you in case you're ending up with a sociopath) while you're together? Then, hey you found your nice guy. He will be treating you right, I suppose given that you just mentioned that you're comfortable enough with him.

Coming back to the list, which you made when you met him for the first time. If you still can only concentrate on the bunch of faults, then back the fuck down. This is time for you to recontemplate yourself. You've found yourself a nice guy, but did he?

Stop whining if it doesn't work out. So what, if it didn't work out. Did you put yourself on the edge in order to make it work? What did you have to offer? Nice guy went for the other pretty girl around the block? Guess what, she's way mature for his taste. And he loves it. Or, she plays guitar. Or, she's a great hotelier. What is your excuse, if you're just going to sit at the corner waiting for the perfect guy to walk in through the door and sweep you off your feet.

VIDEO THIS WAS THE SONG THAT WAS PLAYING WHEN I DROVE HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER MY FATHER DIED Mike Posner - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Seeb Remix) (Explicit)

DATING: DATING IS WATCHING TV

Somewhere in the world of five billion people there lives the best-looking, richest, smartest, funniest, kindest person who would settle for you. But your dreamboat is a needle in a haystack, and you may die single if you insist on waiting for him to show up. Staying single has costs, such as loneliness, childlessness, and playing the dating game with all its awkward drinks and dinners  At some point it pays to set up house with the best person you have found so far.

 

 

If you want something for one night or a fling, it’s easy to meet people. Something more...is harder....because everybody thinks that they can do better. They think they can find someone better looking or who has more money or whatever. The trouble with being perennially dissatisfied and shopping around for a better deal, is that not only does it get far too superficial but you’re just never really in anything to have truly enjoyed it. It’s thinking,

 

Dating is like planning for a vacation. Instead of spending six weeks and ten hours researching flights to Florida to get the perfect redeye, with the shortest layover, at the lowest price, on my favorite airline, I bought a flight within a half hour. No, I didn’t get airline points. Yes, I paid $54 more. But I saved myself TEN HOURS of time and frustration. These are the tradeoffs that smart satisficers are willing to make when they do cost-benefit

analysis.

 

Or a better example would be watching TV. Instead of choosing a show, watching it and engaging in it, you spend the time surfing around on the off chance that there’s something better to watch. It’s like you hate the idea that you might have missed out on viewing something better that would have left you as satisfied as you expect. Next thing the whole evening has gone by and you’ve not really watched anything. Then you think, Ah…I should have watched X…” something that you skipped over earlier and then you end up feeling dissatisfied about not choosing that as well.

 

Have you ever noticed that the same women who harp on being “picky” when it comes to who they date or get into a relationship with, don’t have much of anything to offer that’s worthwhile??? It’s like you said, they want so much, but they don’t have anything to offer to the other person.

 

There are usually two type of woman out there. Woman who are picky and woman who are not. The non picky one will say, “He’s cute, he’s smart, he’s financially stable: I’m keeping him.” The picky ones will say, “He’s not 6’5...He's not Hot enough . I’m dumping him.”

 

Non picky will get happily married. The picky ones hold out for the perfect mate and remain single – or, if they find love, continue their search for “better.

 

Where is the line between carefully searching out what’s best for you and being too darn picky indulging commitment phobia? That is a tough question.

 

I have been divorced for a few years. Instead of comparing my my ex side by side with every woman I’ve ever dated –  – I chose to focus on one thing: how I felt when I was around her.

 

Did I date younger women? Sure. Thinner women? Check. More educated? Yup. Wealthier? Absolutely. Better aligned with my politics and religion? Absolutely. And even though my ex wife fell below my high water mark in all of those categories, I still married her!

 

What’s wrong with me? Did I just settle?

 

For god’s sake, no.

 

I’m telling you that the things I compromised on don’t really matter.

 

I’d dated younger, thinner women – who didn’t make me happy.

 

I’d dated more intellectual, ambitious women – who constantly criticized me and broke up with me.

 

And I hate to tell you but height doesn’t matter in 40 years

 

 

I don't have time for games or BS

 

 

Please, i am not looking for a penpal or text buddy, be ready after a few messages to want to talk over the phone n get to know each other..Please live in queens, nassau or the start of suffolk. thanks

 

 I do not have any kids but i would like to have one. I want someone who has a good job, Responsible, can pay her own bills, has her own place, nice personality, good sense of humor. If you have a car that's a plus. I have all of the above and would love to meet someone on the same level.  I am looking to settle down with someone who can meet me half way

JOURNAL: ATYPICAL MENIERE'S DISEASE.AND THE TREATMENT PLAN

Since a few days when my dad passed away.  I suddenly developed a sensation of fullness in my R ear and ringing. ( low pitched roaring sound).Nothing that preceded it as far as I can tell. No colds or infections or anything. There was no vertigo. I am able to pop my ears, but there is no relief. My hearing doesn't seem to be affected, although the sound of my own voice has a strange echoquality to it on that side of my head. Even my own voice sounds muffled. It's autophony (the loud, echoey hearing yourself speak). It feels like when you go to a concert or when you go on a airplane. I could hear myself talking or hear an echo. Outside noise is amplified and it would make me hear drumming sound in my ear. Insomnia because of ear.

 

I began to develop a real sensitivity to sharp loud noises, crowds, restaurants, dishes clanking, etc. I also noticed that any kind of pressure applied to the ear canal or pushing in the ear canal with my finger resulted in a very odd feeling along with occasional sharp pain deep within the ear I know when it is coming now because i would feel 'flutter' like having an insect in the ear, or give a feeling of drawing the eardrum inwards (which it does!)

 

I have tired:

-Ginkgo biloba, Vit E, warm compression on the ear, sleep on the L ear. Lipo Flavonoid Plus or

lemon Bioflavonoid

-I have placed myself on a low salt diet.

-MRI normal

-Blood work Normal

-Hearing test is normal

-Had two dose of prednisone

 

I  went to 3 ENT and the Dx: Meniere's Disease

 

The last ENT is also a Neurotology is a branch of clinical medicine which studies and treats

 

I was given a  diuretic which helped me for 2 weeks.

 

DDX:

1-cochlear hydrops

 

2-perilymph fistula (PLF) or Tonic Tensor Tympani syndrome or Superior canal dehiscence

PulsatileTensor Tympani syndrome. . A small muscle in the middle ear is attached to the eardrum via the malleus bone. The muscle contracts normally if the face is touched, or air is blown on the eyeball. It seems to be equivalent to the blink reflex for the eye, but now no longer useful as a protective reflex for the ear. The appendix is an example of another body part that has lost its use due to time passing. Nevertheless the muscle often does contract if we are tense and reactive

 

3-Tinnitus is also known as Vascular Tinnitus.

 

TREATMENT:

 

1-Get those tubes open again. You need to open your Eustachian tubes as often as you can to get air into the middle ear cavity and also allow excess mucus to find it's way out. When you achieve this you will hear and feel them pop or crack (this is good!) You can do this by swallowing hard or falsely yawning, pushing your jaw forward hard. Use the 'Valsalva movement', which is done by pinching your nose and blowing quite hard with your mouth closed, filling your cheeks until both tubes pop open. It can take a while, but keep going. Hold them open for a few seconds, release and then swallow. Do this 4 or 5 times a day at least. You might think this is not working, but keep at it as the ET's need to be retrained to open up again.

 

2- Antiinflamatories.I believe that these drugs can help. A common cause of the ET not working is inflammation in or around the ET's and by reducing this you can help things to get back to normal. It's worth a try, but keep going as it can take days to take effect. Be careful about the maximum period to take these, however complete a full course before stopping unless you need to stop.

 

3-Chew gum . Do this as much as you can and preferably use a menthol gum. The chewing

action will help the tubes to open naturally and the menthol will assist as well. Again, don't just use a packet and think that's rubbish! Keep going for weeks and don't stop until you are sure it is doing nothing which could be sometime.

 

4-Use steam and lots of it. Using steam will help to free up mucus and open the tubes up. Do this as often as you can. If you have access to a steam room, then use this and sit in there for an hour. If you don't like most people go and use a free trial at a health club telling them that you might join and use theirs! Using Olbas Oil with a nasal steamer is very good. A facial sauna machine is a good substitute as this will keep the steam hot for longer than a normal fill inhaler. This is a good one to consider HERE Whilst breathing in, open the ET's by yawning. Using abowl with a towel over your head is OK as well but it cools quite quickly.

 

5-Heatpad . Use a hot water bottle wrapped in a thin towel and hold it tight against your ear as hot as you can stand it. The heat will radiate through to the middle ear and will help to free up that stubborn mucus. Try this for at least 2 weeks.

 

6-Nasal sprays. These can be useful to start to free up the sinuses and ET's. Saline spray is safe and some say quite effective. Others include decongestant and steroid sprays, however take care not to over use these as this can cause a reboundaffect and end up prolonging the problem and not helping it. In other words your tubes get so dry that they will not be allowed to function and more mucus is produced to deal with that problem.

 

7-Sleep upright. Don't lay flat because the fluid will shift into places that will not help. Prop

yourself as high as you can, which will naturally allow the fluid to drain. The problem ear should be upper most in my experience, but please try either way and compare if there is any difference for

you.

 

8-Use a distraction to relieve the tinnitu s (Noise Therapy) If you need to spend the night sat in front of the TV to drop off to sleep then do whatever it takes. Relaxing music through headphones or a pillow speaker can work, as can 'white noise' which can cancel out the ringing or loud hissing sounds often suffered with this. You can download these files or purchase them. Experiment with various tones as some will work and others will not.

 

9-Avoid alcohol and caffeine . These are stimulants and will enhance any tinnitus that you have. The temptation may be to lose yourself with drink. This will not be productive. Now is a good time to try herbal and green teas. Drink other hot fluids such as diluted fruit juices with honey which can act as natural decongestants and help with keeping your body hydrated.

 

10-Excess salt in your diet can aggravate this condition many believe and has been directly linked with tinnitus. I am fairly convinced that excess salt enhances my 'T' although I cant be 100%.

 

11-Oral decongestants you decide? The jury is out on these. Some advice will say use them. My doctor said treatments such as Sudafed are a complete waste of time to deal with this. Yes they may dry up mucus but don't forget that we actually want this stuff to clear by running out, not drying to hard deposits in the ear. This can cause the ear to produce yet more mucus to shift the dried up deposits in what is referred to as a 'rebound affect'. I did use them initially, however I will not the next time if this comes back as I am convinced that prolonged use of these did me more harm than good. Piriton I found very good at drying up the mucus, however this caused my ear to block again and also caused the tinnitus to worsen.

 

12-Nasal irrigation Many will suggest this as being helpful. The Neti Pot is the most popular. I used the SinusRinse system by Neilmed which is easier than a Netipot and did seem to help. I would say for a small outlay it is worth a try, particularly if your sinuses are blocked as well.

 

13-Look after yourself. Eat well and ensure you are getting what you need to stay strong. High dose vitamin C is viewed by many as good to help battle this. Dairy food is thought by many to be one of the biggest causes of excess mucus. Little evidence exists to say that it is that I can find, but for me avoiding this when your body is trying to shift it is probably a sensible sacrifice to make. Certain food groups are thought to be inflammatory which may be triggering this problem. Look at these foods and restrict inflammatory foods. Fresh garlic, ginger and fresh pineapple are excellent natural decongestants. Gentle exercise may help, particularly in the fresh air, but avoid strenuous aerobic activity as again this creates more of the stuff you are trying to shift. Keep well hydrated by drinking you daily consumption.

 

14-Clean Air. I noticed that going out in the fresh air would often help relieve symptoms, so you might conclude that being able to live indoors and particularly sleep with clean air free of dust and other allergens may help you deal with this. I obtained an air purifier Ioniser which I left on before before going to bed and kept running through the night. The air certainly felt fresher and with the added bonus that the fan noise would take my mind off the tinnitus

 

15-Thinkpositive. It is very easy at 3am with no sleep and an ear that feels like it's going to

explode, to feel that the world is ending and that you will be cursed with this forever. You must keep positive and believe in yourself that will eventually go. Virtually all cases of this will clear up, unless you have a rare complication which will not allow this. If you have this for a prolonged period, you must pester your doctor and demand to see a specialist. This is because he/she is the only person to see if there is an underlying cause which needs other measures. Medical interventions are limited to solve this and the exact causes of this illness are still unknown.

 

16-Intra-Tympanic Steroid Injection

So after everything,my doctor gave me a steroid injection in the ear. So far so good. I will keep you up to day

PERSONALS: LIKE BUYING A HOUSE

There are a lot of traits that are important when looking to get into a serious relationship.To me, I usually look at the whole picture. Anyone who is divorced and own a home would understand what I am talking about. 

 

You can look at a picture in an ad or on an app and decide whether someone’s physical appearance is appealing to you, but that’s like buying a house based on a picture from the front yard. Most people want to enjoy how the front of their house looks, but that doesn’t typically break the list of the top ten or fifteen things they’re looking for in a home. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Have the appliances been updated in the last five or ten years? What kind of shape is the foundation in? The outside may be most important to some people, but they’re probably people who haven’t owned a home before. The inside of a house — space, appliances, interior design — can cover a multitude of sins outside. But no amount of paint and creativity outside can fix serious issues inside.

  

On one hand you could have a spouse who was knock-out gorgeous, but critical and quick to argue or nitpick about anything. On the other hand you could have a spouse who was always kind and quick to forgive, but was just so-so physically. Ask anyone who’s married, and they’ll tell you that kindness and forgiveness are more important to your happiness than physical looks. You won’t be happy with the quarrelsome spouse, no matter how physically attractive they are. Here’s the point: good looks, while nice to have, are the less important trait to me

  

Then there’s the other big problem with looks: they don’t last. Someone who is beautiful today will be a little less beautiful 5 years from now, and less beautiful than that 10 years from now, and so on, until we’re all old men and women. Now, there is a wonderful thing in marriage where your spouse can appear more beautiful to you over time, but objectively speaking, we’re all getting uglier. So if someone’s focused solely on physical beauty, they’ll never stay focused on any one person for long.

 

Don’t believe me? Ask sixty-year-old love birds if they’re still“physically attracted” to each other. Some of them are more attracted to each other than ever, and it’s not because they’re gaining weight, losing their hair, or having more trouble getting around. It’s because their appearance, in the eyes of their beloved, is increasingly filled with a deepening appreciation for the beauty in the other. They see something different in each other’s eyes. The hands are worn, but familiar and safe. The wrinkles are the years of faithfulness and bliss spent together. Their love not only looks beyond the surface, but sees the surface with new eyes. That is exactly what I am looking for.

 

 While beauty is a depreciating asset, most other positive traits—wisdom, patience, commitment, good communication skills, etc.—are things that can improve over time. They make for a better investment, so to speak.

  

The more we learn about someone, the more their appearance is filled, for better or for worse, with new and deeper meaning — with their personality, their convictions, their sense of humor, their faith. The once-stunning girl may lose most of her charm, and the easily overlooked girl may become undeniably beautiful. They each look exactly the same as before, and yet they don’t. You see them, even their physical appearance, differently now. 

 

I am a divorced physician living in Long Island without kids looking for his equal to settle down and start a family (which means having kids). I don't drink, smoke or take drugs. I will not share anymore picture and I am not looking for penpal or text buddy Please be kind, intelligent, have a job and have your act together.

  

What I hope to find: I want someone who has a good job, Responsible,can pay her own bills, has her own place, nice personality, good sense of humor. If you have a car that's a plus. I have all of the above and would love to meet someone on the same level

  

What I'm not looking for: Trading pics is not my thing, neither are the endless email/text chains that lead nowhere. Be ready to want to talk over the phone to get to know each other..Please live in queens, nassau

DATING: THOUGHTS;WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE?

THOUGHTS;WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE?

 

The good guys, the good women, the good people haven't gone anywhere.

  

It's just sometimes, we think good has a particular look, or feel, or sense of time and....is dressed in gorgeous beauty, looks cool, looks exciting, cute face, those muscles, how he defines you in the world, what friends will think when dating him...we rationalise, we dive, we swim in our own perception, our reality and our reality is truth.

 

 

Even...YES...even...how many followers this person has..how many votes...shared...the high quality photo of a jaw line, great teeth, hair, body....the curves, the lip, the hips, the legs..... You know the things most women and men say doesn't matter but really, their behaviour says...it does ;)

  

Our unconscious mind categerises, filters, labels and Kaboom! Before we know it, we've decided with a little..help.

 

 

So what is your definition of good guys?

 

 And how much of the environment, parents, friends, associates, social circle, disney, hollywood, bollywood, music, magazines, newspapers, billboard, social norms, customs, traditions, what others think and all the stuff in the unconscious is interferring?

 

 

Sometimes what someone says regarding good guys means someone they are attracted to in looks, in style, or in income, job, or feeling, an instinct, a perception, this and that...and not really looking for a good guy. 

 

Somertimes when someone says “good guys” they mean someone who they can walk all over. Some guy who will take on the drama, pathetic mind games and then say they are not compatible because the “good guy” said, “enough is fucking enough.”

 

 

So what is your definitiion of good guys?

  

The social language says one thing but...

  

The primitive survival language says something else.

  

That.. 

 

"No.... because when you do, you get this, and this and his which protects you, spread your genes to best males, increases your status, makes you look good in front of mummy...daddy...friends...community....you also get this and this and this.."

  

Plenty of good guys work voluntary for charity organisations, community work, social work, work for disabilities, youth work and most do so for free because they want to help.

  

No one stopped any woman visiting.

 

 

In fact, many good men in paid jobs too. Smart men. Intelligent men. Clever men. Good men.

 

  

Lots of them are...single.

 

 I will go even further to say, there are thousands after thousands of good men right now and who give....give...give...with their knowledge.

  

Do you see a stampede of women running to them, sending the messages with dating and marriage proposals because these good men giving their time to answer questions, which they won't get paid for?

  

Some who have answered thousands of questions.

  

Go and look on their profie on how many lives they've impacted.

  

When most people ask... 

 

"Where are the good men?"

  

Translated..

  

"Where are the men that I'd be attracted to, turns me on, makes my heart go Boom! Boom! Boom! He needs to look like this, dress like that, be like this, ACCEPT ALL my flaws and pathetic drama, and shit atitude or forget it. Friends need to accept him. I don't want to be embarrassed when walking with him and for all to see. Oh no....must be this and that."

 

  

Got nothing to do with heart, character etc cetre.

  

Many women  saying this... 

 

"I love my boyfriend, he's such a good guy, good man but....I met this guy at work.."

  

The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's on the side we water and nurture.

  

But because people like to believe in the..

  

Hmmm...possibilities...fantasies....something better round the corner....the new...the fresh....the new sensation...the on going pursuit or inteference....and this nagging...prodding of the grass is greener.

  

"I am married to a very good man. He's a great father. Very supportive but....I got to know some guy online...and I am in love with him. What do I do?"

 

 Many good men, good women all around us but it seems the good that people look isn't conscious. It's unconscious.

  

They cannot hold onto a good man because good for many women is not good enough for them then bitch about where they are.

  

 

Here are examples below of what happens when women...find good men..

  

Some even got what they wanted but..it's not enough..

 

I am married and have fallen in love with another married man. We can't be together, but can't live without each other. What should we do? 

 

It didn't take long for the next one. Two years...happily married...

 

I am married but I have feelings for someone else. What should I do?

  

Her husband is the absolute best and she couldn't ask for a better husband but she got eyes on her...best friend...

 

I am married but have fallen in love with my best friend. What should I do?

  

She cheated on a long distance relationship because the conversation got boring.

 

How can I tell my boyfriend in a long distance relationship that I started cheating when our conversation started getting boring?

  

Her boyfriends makes her happy, she trusts him. He listens to everything she shares with him but...

 

I met someone; should I break up with my boyfriend?

  

And something different...

 

  

She has a boyfriend...she goes on a course overseas, meets a guy, has a baby and...her boyfriend don't know.

 

While studying abroad for two years in Europe, I got pregnant. The baby is still there with the dad. Should I tell my boyfriend?

 

 

So the question isn't where the good guys or good women have gone. 

 

The question is... 

 

Why aren't you or whoever asks this type of question ..attracting the....good men?

  

Is being a good man....good enough? 

 

Is a good woman....good enough?

 

 

Because the good is out there.

 

 

People get the good but the good isn't so exciting when they got it. The good isn't like the fantasy Hollywood, Bollywood and Romance novels.

 

THOUGHTS: THE AFTERLIFE

 

 

I lost my dad recently and more than ever, I realized how fragile life really is. What is that energy, that power, that consciousness which, when it was in that my dad's body, caused it to think, speak, move, love, feel and create? I have been reading about near death experience recently. In every one of those stories, there is a life review. It's a multifaceted. experiences from three facets—all simultaneously:

 

(1) from your own point of view,

 

(2) from the point of view of whoever was with me, and

 

(3) from the point of view of a witness, or watcher.

 

 

 If you ever hurt someone, you will get to experience the pain you caused. if you ever loved anyone, you will experience that love you gave.

  

 

I learned that life is so, so fragile. I learned that you can know someone for just days and never forget the impression she left on you. I learned that art can be beautiful and sad at the same time. I learned that if someone loves you, she’ll wait for you to love her back. I learned that how much you want something doesn’t determine whether you get it or not, that “no” might not be enough, that life isn’t fair, that my parents can’t save me, that maybe no one can.

  

They all experienced intense love just can’t be described in words. Amazing peace and calmness engulfed them. Part of  the purpose for coming back is to help other people awaken to the simple truth: we are love. This experience of deep love often carries within it an affirmation of unity or oneness between all people or even all things. It doesn’t matter if people nearly died in an auto accident or drug overdose, giving birth, or attempting suicide, they often come back with the profound notion that love and unity are at the very core of life’s meaning. Love is the paramount element of reality.

 

  

There one second — and then flashes right before your eyes the next. At the end of the day, when you strip everything away, all you have are natural experiences, moments and people to enjoy them with. We are not on this planet forever and our lives can end when we least expect it. You were given it in order to enjoy it — and live it to the utmost

  

People die all the time. Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely

 

  

What is life? What is its purpose? A number of us have been forced by the death of the loved one to investigate these questions. Death forces us to look deeper into the nature and purpose of life. Reexamine our life values and goals: Contact with death awakens us to the fact that someday we too will die. This generates a number of questions. Will we have fulfilled our life purpose? Why have we come here to the earth? Why have we taken this physical body? Is our life part of some greater process? If so, what does it require of us? How can we live our lives more in harmony with that purpose?

 

JOURNAL: WHAT MY SISTER SAID IN THE MEMORIAL OF MY FATHER DEATH

 

I would like to start with a poem. M.D. doesn’t stand for medical doctor, its stands for MY Daddy.

 

My Daddy, M.D.

 

 Whenever daddy signs his name he always writes M.D

 

So people always knew he belonged to me

 

For M.D. Means My Daddy or something just the same

 

And that is why he always puts those letters in his name

 

Some letters in his name are small, But these are not, you see

 

He always makes them big like that, Because he's proud of me.

 

I was also very proud of him.

 

 

 

I was proud of how he came from Iran to live in New York, where he used to call the capital of the world. I was proud of how he made a great life for himself, married to my wonderful caring mom and had 3 children who all became doctors. I was also so proud and happy that for over 15 years he has been retired and had a chance to enjoy every aspect of his life. I am proud that 18 years ago he made the pilgrimage to Mecca.. I was also proud of his confidence, He was always a positive person. He thought he was the smartest and best looking man in the room, and he was.

 

I was proud that even with that strong personality, he was a good man with a good heart. He was down to earth and a nice person who went out of his way to help family, friends and even patients. He loved being a doctor, was hard working, and a perfectionist, he loved to "calac". One of his greatest passions was , and we used to kid around that this was his 4th child. His friends and other classmates were like family for him.

 

He also had his vices, he loved gambling and playing poker with friends, and loved driving, although his sense of direction wasn't so good. I was also proud of him when 3 years ago when he had a horrible fall at a friends house. With 7 rib fractures he drove 2 hours from New Jersey to our home. As many of you know he suffered many complications intubated 3 times, had a tracheotomy and feeding tube and his condition was extremely unstable and tenuous. But My father was a fighter and his strength and recovery during that time gave me hope that anything in this world was possible…

 

All I can say is that he loved life, and loved living. But that illness did take a toll on his body and soul. And I knew that if he would have another major illness in the future, his recovery would not be guaranteed. During that hospitalization 3 years..one of those long days..he came and whispered to me.. ..When will I go to "heaven"…And I said , it's not your time. God would not let you suffer these 3 months for you not to survive. You will survive and get better, and live a fulfilling life

 

And he did and we went on to go to Florida, 3 Cruises, Countless restaurants...We as a family enjoyed life with him. During this hospitalization he was sick with pneumonia. Eventually that infection took a toll on his heart and the rest of his body.. Again he came as whispered to me . I don’t call you here to fix my bed, and pillow, I want you here to protect me..The truth is If love could have saved him, he would have lived forever..

  

And I answered him,God will protect you.. And God did protect him... He passed away suddenly very quickly and was not in pain.. He lived a full life, full of good times and happiness.. God did not let him suffer and live life in a debilitated way which would have been struggle for someone with a strong personality like him.. Till the very end he was doing what he loved Going to  new year party in march, eating out in restaurants every week, watching movies with the family..Even on the day he passed, he was the BOSS, giving my mom the list to shop for at the supermarket, and discussing with the doctors his medical treatments 15 minutes before he suffered cardiac arrest..

  

 

He died on his own terms...WE WILL MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU ALWAYS..you will always be in our heart..You are in heaven now..

 

Thank you again for coming.

 

DATING: GUYS FIND NICENESS SEXY

DATING: GUYS FIND NICENESS SEXY

 

 

Let me telling you something, “niceness” is a quality that men find sexually attractive in women – a woman who gives a man her undivided attention, makes him a nice meal, and does things for him – he will find her MORE attractive sexually than a woman who ignores him.  I know I do.  If there was one characteristic that is completely underrated, especially in this world, it is the quality of people being nice. Thus, because niceness is a sexual factor from the male perspective, men mistakenly believe it is also a sexual factor from a female perspective.  And it ISN’T.  In fact, women are far more attracted to men who do not desire them overtly, who do not acquiesce to their whims, who display outcome independence. Most woman don't dream of dating a nice guy.

  

I know..it doesn't make sense. It’s not that women don’t want a nice guy – they do.  It’s just that niceness doesn’t factor into what women find sexually attractive – it is a personal quality rather than a sexual one.  In the same way as a man is expected to have a nose, he is expected to be nice.  Thus, if a man is handsome, confident, and successful – he will be considered a great catch.  And if he happens to be nice, it is the icing on the cake.  And if he isn’t nice, most women will (mistakenly) believe he is still a great catch and that they can change him.

  

I am sure there are many women out there who are dying to finally find a man like myself who will be a happy, healthy, stand-up husbands  The thing I am not lose sight of is that being the good guy will not always get you all of the girls, but it will get you the right one who makes you happy

  

Woman all say they like nice, sensitive, communicative, emotionally expressive men, and they may even think themselves that this is what they want, but when it comes to arousal, those qualities are meaningless.  What arouses women is the idea of a strong guy like me. A straight shooter, who has his act together. (a job, a house, a car, saving, a great family and healthy) I have no drama in my life.

  

As a doctor I learned that if you had EVERYTHING taken away from you – what would you be left with? Strip away your looks, your home, your career, your money and you’d be left with everything that’s on the INSIDE. So if you wants to know where you went wrong or if you’ve struggled for years to figure out why you choose the wrong people…Your answer is right here in front of you. .You’ve been investing in the least important qualities.Looks come and go. Jobs come and go. Money comes and goes. What lasts forever is CHARACTER.

 

 Time and time again I talked to woman who date/ live with guys for 5-10 years without proposing. This blows my mind. To me it seem that a lot of woman willfully ignored the guys in their past to be selfish, narcissistic tendencies because of what came with the rest of the package – cute, smart, successful, etc..  There are no shortage of guys out there who make you tingle every time you think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they don’t put YOU first.  Don’t get too sucked in by his charm or his wit or his looks or his money……Instead, learn to appreciate the guy who does what he says, who says what he means, who makes it clear that you’re a priority to him. After all, the guy who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. Because what’s inside never goes away.

 

Don’t be the right girl waiting around for the wrong guy. Be with me. Life is to short to waste time on someone unworthy of your love. Its sad when the right person isn't able to find you because you’re too busy making the wrong person right for you. The truth is that every single day that you're with the wrong person is just another day you're NOT with the me.

 

 

 

 

MY DAD PASSED AWAY

 

My dad passed away almost 2 months ago. He died suddenly  the only people in my life who had passed away that I felt remotely close to were my two grandparents, and uncle While I, of course, cared about all of these men and was incredibly sadden by each of their passings, the loss of a parent digs in much deeper, stings much sharper, and alters your world in unimaginable ways. My experience will be much different from others who have had to endure the same heart wrenching experience, but here are a few things I've learned so far about myself and others from encountering my father's death

  

Grief is not a perfect, linear process. After the first few days of barely sleeping or eating and bursting into tears at the slightest remembrance, I asked myself, "When does this end? When can I feel okay again?" I fooled myself into thinking that if I went through the steps, if I followed the stages, I would come out on the other end as a whole, smiling, fatherless guy. Yes, my dad died, but my future is bright! Instead, everyday is different. Somedays, I'm happy and productive and I think about my dad with a smile on my face. Other days, I wake up from having a dream about my dad and sulk all day. Somedays, I'm moody as hell. Other days, I nearly forget that my father died at all. Somedays, I'm angry that people who  still have their fathers. Other days, I silently cry at my desk at work while I hear a coworker talk to his father on the phone. Yes, I cry less and generally feel better about the whole thing than I did during month 1, but it's not a perfect, logical, point A to point B progression. It comes in waves; sometimes with tsunami-like force, but usually more like the daily tides.

 

 

Life does not stop. While asking myself when the painful grieving process will be over, I also asked myself when I could do normal things again. I thought that I could compartmentalize the grief. If I kept it in its own box, it wouldn't bleed over into the rest of my life and so, when I returned to the rest of my life, it would be exactly the same as it was before. When and only when I stopped crying all.the.time., I could then resume my life. While people are generally sympathetic to your loss, your bills still need to be paid, your friends still want to see you, your bathroom is only getting grosser, and the days keep flying by. If you wait until you feel 100% back to normal, you will sit out the rest of your life. Once I realized that I needed to create a new normal instead of wait for my old normal to return (which it never will), I placed pieces of my life back. I started reading again. I watched a movie. I started introducing my routines back into my life. I allowed myself to date again. Life stops for no one, no matter how much pain you may be in, no matter how much you wished you could stop time so you wouldn't have to live your life without your dad to share it with. Life goes on.

  

You learn who your true friends are. After being woken up by the phone call from my sister  telling me that my dad was having problem breathing,and when we got to the hospital and finding out he passed away.I shouted repeated and pathetic "no," after the uncontrollable crying and shaking, after the shouting of the repeated and pathetic "why," after the dumbstruck silence and emotional exhaustion,

 

  

No one can say anything to make you feel better. My first reaction to people telling me they were sorry for my loss was to say, "It's okay." My second reaction was, "I hope you never experience this." My loss was not okay and almost everyone will have to deal with losing a parent at some point in their lives- what silly things to think. I guess in some weird, backwards way, I was trying to make them feel better for feeling bad. Finally, I came to terms with just replying with a simple thank you. I realized that my friends were at a loss for what to say because they have no idea what it is like to lose a parent. Even hearing stories about your dad or hearing how much he talked about you to other people aren't very comforting because you can't help saying to yourself, "That's nice, but it would be way nicer to have my dad alive and still creating stories and talking up his children." Despite the nonexistence of the right words, someone ignoring the fact that your dad is dead is way worse than them saying something that does not provide comfort. Sharing memories, asking questions, letting the griever grieve allows the parent to live on in the only way he or she can now.

 

  

Mourning hangs on you like a shadow during your day to day movements. You don't have to talk about it or even spill tears to feel it. It's just there and can fill a room if you let it. My father will not be there for many of the milestones, I just don't think anyone can really understand this.

 

 Paperwork and possessions. In the midst of trying to mourn my dad's death, my sisters and I have had to deal with an enormous amount of paperwork. Death is a very messy business. We've had to go through my dad's possessions, trying to decide what to keep, what to toss, what to give away, what to sell. We have to remember to pay his bills on top of our own bills .

 

 

You learn you're not the only one who thinks your dad was awesome. You also learn how much your dad would not shut up about you. Countless strangers have told me, "Your dad loved you very, very much. He was so proud of you." The stories we heard and continue to hear about my dad have confirmed what I've known all along: my dad was one of a kind. He will be missed by many, many people.

JOURNAL: MEMORIAL WE HAD FOR MY DAD

Before I begin I would like to thank all of you for your efforts to be here today, to help us mark my father's passing. Each of you here had your own relationship with my Dad, each of you has your own set of memories. 

 

I can't believe it's been over 40 days since my father passed away. At times it feels like it was yesterday and at other times it feels like it was long ago. While my mind know this, my hearts can’t  accept it.  When someone close to you dies, your world can feel suddenly different and unknown. It’s hard to watch the world keep going on for everyone else when your life has such a hole in it. You still have to work, drive, eat…., but nothing is really the same. Everything else seems so small and so trivial.

  

Not a day passes by without something or someone reminding me of him. Whether it is the empty spot in a chair in the living room or kitchen I  miss him in every way.

 

When I told my medical assistant Rose  about my dad. She also knew my dad and who also lost her own dad 5 years ago. She told me about a quote that helped her. It from  Dr. Seuss. He said “ Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

  

The translation mean:: Don’t cry about death, smile about life. 

 

When we think of someone that isn’t there anymore, you have the choice to remember that person is no longer here, and be sad, or to remember the good times, and be happy. And while it might not be an easy choice, it is a choice,

  

We are here today not to be sad about my dad, but to Celebrate his life.

 

 

To celebrate his gigantic smile and the way he filled any room.

 

To celebrate his passions for food

 

To celebrate his passion for medicine and helping people

 

To celebrate his passion for his family

 

To celebrate his positiveness

 

 

 

I have struggled to find the right words, the right stories that would speak truly of my father...But there are simply too many. He had a rich life… a giving life and life that I admired even to his last breath.

 

My father was more than a Dad to me. He was my best friend. I confided in him with everything and about anything. He loved so many people, places and things, but nothing so much as my mother.

  

What my dad gave to the world was his big, generous personality.  He devoted himself to his friends and family as fully as he did everything else.  

 

  

The world is filled with sons who never heard their father say “I love you,” and who wonder throughout their lives whether they were loved, Not me. The last few years before I would leave my parent’s house. My dad would up from his chair and we would hug and kiss and say “I love you” to each other. 

 

I realized that my father will never truly be gone. He is still here with me in spirit. My father taught me how to love  — he sacrificed his life for our family, and he will live on through me. His legacy will continue through my work, and because of him I will know how to love my family — the way he loved us. He was and always will be my motivation to fight through struggles, work hard, be a fighter, and to always be positive. Death is always a challenge for everyone.  It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other. Don’t be sad because my dad is gone , smile because you knew him..

 

My memories have become my heartbeats – which means I am thinking of him all the time just to stay alive.

  

We will miss you and always love you.