ARTICLE: Wall Street Criminals Are Still a Protected Class in America Written by: Matt Taylor

It's becoming a sort of ritual for the US government to cut a deal with the Wall Street bankers who caused the 2008 financial crisis. Last October, we saw JP Morgan get slapped with a $13 billion settlement for hawking shady mortgages to investors. Citigroup was charged $7 billion in a similar agreement reached this July. Usually, the settlements consist of large sums of money that can be trumpeted in splashy newspaper headlines and tough, self-congratulatory statements from Attorney General Eric Holder, who fancies himself a hero. But set against the backdrop of an ongoing War on Drugs that essentially criminalizes African American and Hispanic youth in many American cities, the federal government's stubborn refusal to criminally prosecute the white guys who sent the economy into a tailspin is a testament to just how heinous our legal system has become.

The latest settlement is with Charlotte, North Carolina-based Bank of America, which has apparently caved to Holder's demand that they pay between $16 and 17 billion—the "largest single federal settlement in the history of corporate America," as the New York Times reports. Tack on the $45.87 billion the bank had already shelled out in various other suits since the crash, and it almost starts to seem like all is right with the world, or at least some small measure of justice is being done.

But don't let the flashy numbers fool you. For one thing, BofA is paying for the crimes of some of its subsidiary banks like Merrill Lynch and Countrywide that were absorbed during the panic. And as ThinkProgress has already pointed out, the numbers are misleading because only a chunk of the total settlement has to be paid in actual cash; the rest can come in the form of breaks to consumers that will ultimately benefit the bankers. And the huge fees that do get paid to the Feds are tax-deductible, ensuring there isn't so much as a taste of actual pain for the bad guys.

Letting bankers do their thing without the threat of punishment is now almost as engrained in our culture as going easy on renegade cops. We learned this week that prosecutors probing the systematic beatings of mentally ill patients at NYC's Rikers Island, the second largest jail in the country, are declining to pursue a case against the prison guards responsible. Apparently the Bronx district attorney had such a heavy caseload over the past couple of years that it was impossible to make the sadists pay. What kinds of cases was he working on instead? Surely some of them were the kinds of low-level marijuana and other "Broken Windows" (or quality-of-life) offenses that the authorities insist represent an existential threat to the national fabric. In reality, they speak to two different criminal justice systems—one for the rich, and one for everyone else.

On Thursday, the New York Daily News reported that the death of Eric Garner, whose videotaped death via police chokehold has sparked an uproar in recent weeks, was the direct result of a crackdown on illegal cigarette sales ordered by NYPD brass. So selling a few untaxed cigarettes is now officially worse than causing the economy to run off a cliff—and screwing over countless homeowners along the way.

“The DOJ [Department of Justice] can be counted on to brag that the settlement dollar amount with Bank of America sets yet another record and claim, again, that this shows DOJ is tough on Wall Street," Dennis Kelleher, the President and CEO of Better Markets, a financial reform advocacy group, said in a statement. "But, unlike other recent settlements, will DOJ provide the public with the key information on investor losses, Bank of America profits, the names of involved executives, specific laws broken and the actual systemic illegal schemes and activities? In short, is DOJ willing to actually inform the American people about such important and grave matters?"

For a while, at least, the White House could cite the specter of weak financial markets as an excuse for not aggresively going after Wall Street banks. But the US economy is growing pretty rapidly at the moment, and the banks are doing great. Is there really any danger at this point in setting the precedent that some financial "innovation" is beyond the pale?

The corruption at play is also pretty blatant when you glance at the Wall Street Journal's nifty breakdown of which banks have paid how much for their naughty behavior since the crash. Goldman Sachs—the company that fell in love with Barack Obama harder than any other back in 2008—is at the bottom of the list. In their case, the settlements haven't even reached $1 billion, though that's partially a function of the bank not having its own consumer mortgage shop. But even if the bankers paid exactly as much as they destroyed/ruined (not to mention the trillions in bailout money and loans they were gifted from the Feds), it still wouldn't be justice, per se. These men should be doing time for breaking the law and screwing people over. As long as they can just write a check—and the profits from breaking the law exceed the fines—why not keep the party going?

"Given the enormity of what went on in the mortgage market, and the thorough involvement of Merrill Lynch, Countrywide, and Bank of America itself, it's not as big as it sounds," former North Carolina Congressman Brad Miller, who worked extensively on financial regulation in Washington and has since joined a law firm involved in litigation against those very banks, told me of the settlement. "We will be paying the price for not having held them accountable for a very long time. Having been treated as delicately as fine China has only made them feel entitled to do anything they want."

He bemoaned the fact that as recently as the 1990s, being "tough on crime" (both street crime and white-collar crime like the Enron mess) was mainstream.

"Now being tough on crime when the crime in question is securities fraud is seen as left-wing," Miller said.

JOURNAL: I WENT ON A DATE TODAY.

Am I doomed to be alone because I dare to be myself?  I don’t want someone I can’t be myself with, much as I admit that sometimes I have thrown myself at someone almost in the hopes of repelling them, because I didn’t believe they could see and love the real me and also because I wanted to test them.

Much as I know there is nothing wrong with me, I guess I always thought I had to be perfect and have my life figured out before someone decent expressed an interest. I guess I’m only human.

I see a habitual pattern repeated, that of getting really excited about someone possibly before I know them well enough and then beginning to have all sorts of expectations. Tons of if/then statements for how we should interact, for how i can know she likes me, for me to think I’ve got it under control, even though I don’t.Nobody does.And all my vain attempts at control actually squish the delicate flower that was forming. Maybe the girl for you is not the person you thought it was going to be, that maybe your dream come true won’t look exactly as you thought it would

The last time I got involved with somebody, I analyzed whether she would call back or not, whether she liked me. This time, I’m going to look into myself and explore my reactions with curiosity.

I want to find love where I am right now.Even if it brings me elsewhere, because a life without love without the daring of really caring for another person would get pretty shallow and stupid after a while, I don’t want to be in a relationship only because I think it would make me happy, but also because being connected intimately to another human would add serious depth to my life.

I need to take off the walls around my heart, but know who I am and have enough respect for myself to have boundaries without having walls, to let everything happen in its proper time instead of trying to seek certainty from some future event,  I need to feel safe in my love for myself above all.And I need to recognize that I am not in control, I am just a broken human wanting love like everyone, and despite my best efforts I might lose or get hurt, and even more astonishing I could even win, and my life will take its course.I’m tempted to be single forever, until I figure everything out and know exactly what I want, but staying in my cave is not really going to help me figure it out. And I also tend to believe love can change and grow with you, it doesn’t have to hold you back. In fact, it could be your greatest catalyst for growth.Things are not always as they seem…And we become free when we let things be, we are in control when we accept ourselves as we are, we progress when we are content where we are.

I went on a date today....I talk to this girl for few weeks, and I left not knowing she wanted me or not. She seem so quiet.... I know I wanted her...maybe I am wrong....maybe she will be mine

POETRY: HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

A millennium from now in the great darkness
terrible in its size and crushing weightlessness,
one last star, as dim as were my hopes before you,
hangs on fighting the inevitable
and, as it shivers in the absolute cold,
it twinkles in the numbing vastness.

So, from a distance one would think it magical
if there were any witnesses left to wish upon it.
 
Then... the next beginning of the end starts
with an analog fluidity and completes with a binary finality.  

Darkness  
Nothingness

The Universe... all we are has ceased to exist
and
finally
...I don?t love you anymore.


2


Some folks they get a flood of love
Some others live in drought
What causes these inequities?
How does this come about?
Some check off lovers
From long lists
Some wonder what
They've missed
Their lives a lonely labyrinth
Of happiness dismissed.

Some folks they get a flood of love
Some others live in drought
What makes the one "the in crowd"
While the other's crowded out?
Some helm the yacht "Companionship"
While some the boat have left
Some cry "Titanic" tears each night
As if they were bereft.

Some folks they get a flood of love
Some others live in drought
Some bask in smooth security
While some are thrashed by doubt
Some pause to pray
Most every day
That eyes that often rained,
Will someday know
A flood of love
To wash away the pain.




3


There are times... when I awaken and realize
what a tender part of my dreams you have been....
I know that my thoughts are only reflecting
the loving hopes of my heart..
because whenever they wander... they always take me to you!

Every once in a while I start feeling a little lost,
especially when I start wondering where we're going.
And every now and then... I need something from you
that I don't always get...
I'd like for us to
talk a little more...
touch a little more...

Just an occasional thing... that you're still happy with me.
I'm not asking for too much....
just enough to know, from time to time,
that I make a difference.  For just knowing that...
makes all the difference in the world to me.

I hope you'll think, just for a moment,
how much you mean to me!
And when you continue on with the things
you need to be doing in your life,
smile a smile for me and remember
that I'll be thinking of you still
And always....




4


Sweet are the words
           that have fallen from these lips
            but cherish more, now, you see,
            the thoughts I hold within me
        trusting... caring... sharing messages
             from my mind~~~~never slip
          for words that have such meaning
       can cause us to have different readings
         on what we feel........ what we say
               or to say what we feel
                but to know another
            knows these words are for real

POETRY: YOU ARE A PIECE OF HEAVEN TO ME

What is it about you that I like so much
Is it your heavenly smile, or is it your luscious lips
Is it your sense of style, or is it the way you look
Is it the way you talk, or is it the things you say
Is it your  hair, or is it the color of it
Is it your mysterious eyes, or is it the way you look at me with them
Is it the way you walk, or is it the way you move
It is definitely all of these things that drive me to the point
  of insanity,
You are a piece of heaven to me, one so unreachable yet beautiful


2

Wherever she is, I want her to know this
I want her, my life, yes the true source that courses through my veins
To know, that I already love her.
I want her to know, that yes, I?ve been waiting,
sometimes impatiently...nonetheless I?m still waiting
I want her to know that, life has taught me that lesson
that most never learn...that painful session in which
you learn how to hold on to those that mean the most to
you.
Yes, tell her that I?ve learned over time and through others
That love only comes around when love
assumes that you?re not ready.
So tell her, my love, my reason for being
That I am not ready and then again
I am.
Tell her wherever she?s at, that I?ll never
hide or confide what I feel from her
Tell her that I will forever
hold her kisses true to my heart
Tell her that my soul aches to hear her wisdom
Aches to experience her emotional misunderstanding of
what she?ll assume I am
Tell her please
Tell her that I?m almost
Ready
Ready
Ready
To
Be
Loved



3

You asked for the moon
I got it for you
You asked for the stars
I flew high and brought them for you
Everything you ever demanded
I did all for love

When you were hungry
I fed you with my hand
When you were cold
I clothed you with myself
When you had no place to live
I gave you my own shelter

In the summer time
I lay myself down for you
In the winter time
I gave you all within me
In every season
I gave everything you wanted

I treated you like a king
By laying food on your table
I helped you in all your endeavors
By solving all your problems
Despite...you scandalize and criticize me
And think all is well to blackmail me

Now that fortune smiles on you
You just say I?m up to no good
Sweet memories of the past
No longer appeal to you
Shameless lover you now seem to me
I never knew you were such an ingrate.


4


For one moment in your arms,
I would wait a thousand years,
I would live my life in dusk
if you found the sun severe.

If you wished things to never change,
I'd freeze this place in time.
To tell the world of how I feel,
there's no mountain I won't climb.

I will plant a bed of roses
if ever you are tired,
And I would write a hundred songs
for you if you desired.

To bring to you some happiness
I would swim the greatest sea,
I would give up everything
just to have you here with me.

To hear your laughter echoing
there's nothing I wouldn't do,
And I can promise you right now
that I always will love you.



5

Come lie with me by the stream.
Share your hopes and dreams.
Show me excitement like I've never known.
Lie with me by the stream 
 and tell me I am your own.
Your heart is thoughtful and sweet.
Lie with me by the still waters, 
 and I'll show you my love runs deep.
Lie with me by the peaceful stream called life.
Lie with me and take away the strife.
I cannot compare you with any other, my sweet.
I cannot express my love for you, 
 nor can anyone compete. 
Lie with me by the stream of desire.
Set my heart free and my soul afire.
Lie with me by the stream forever.
Lie with me and leave me never.
The stream will overflow with passion.
Lie with me by the stream 
 and I will show you my love and compassion.
This stream runs deep; this srream runs fast.
Lie with me by the stream, 
 and I will show you my love is everlasting. 

SPIRITUAL: TRYING TO ACCEPT WHAT IS

We create our problems by wanting things, or people, to be different

Have you ever stopped to think that we create our own problems by the simple strategy of wanting things to be different to how they actually are?

We want other people to be different (especially our partners!), we want situations to be different, we want ourselves to be different. And they, and we, can't be other than what we are. It is like wanting the weather to be different. But the weather is what it is. We can accept it and enjoy however it is, or we can complain about it and make ourselves feel miserable. But anyway, it is not going to change the weather, is it? And yet this is what we are doing every time we have a complaint about something (which, let’s be honest, is quite often). We may as well be bashing our heads against a wall.

The other thing we never consider, is that it is actually disrespectful to want to change things, especially others. In a subtle, unconscious way, we are saying we know better than the other what is good for them, and this naturally creates a wall of resistance. In a relationship, it is like taking on the role of a parent and diminishing the other into the role of a child. Is it any wonder we get negative reactions from the other, even though we are convinced we are acting in the best intentions?

And in fact, if we are really honest, our intentions are always in our own interest. If we really respected the other, we would accept them as they are, we would dignify them by letting them decide how to live their own lives, even if it doesn’t fit with our ideas. Even if they are on a path of self-destruction, it is their decision.

And anyway, what right, what business, do we have to assume we can interfere in someone else’s life? And it is the same with ourselves – wanting ourself to be different is like saying to existence that we know better. And this creates such a tension in us. It is like saying to Picasso that one of his paintings is wrong – the nose should be different, the shape of the body, the colour of the eyes, etc.

We are all unique - we are all unrepeatable, incomparable masterpieces of existence. If existence has so much respect for us, who are we to question ourselves? But of course we do it all the time. And that is how we make our lives miserable.

Acceptance, is not resignation. It is enjoying, celebrating ourselves and others as the utterly unique, and imperfect, beings that we are. And that is the basis of much of my work. It has often been said that the issues we group leaders choose to work with are in fact our very own issues. For sure, that is the case with me. Forget about self love – my self acceptance was so low at one point in my life that I was suicidal – I could no longer see the point of getting up each morning. I now wake up with a huge ‘thank you’ to existence .

The only difference between me and you is, you don't say okay to yourself and I have said an absolute okay to myself - that is the only difference. You are continuously trying to improve yourself, and I am not trying to improve myself. I have said: Incompletion is the way life is. You are trying to become perfect and I have accepted my imperfections. That is the only difference. So I don't have any problems. When you accept your imperfection, from where can the problem come? When whatsoever happens you say "It is okay," then from where can the problem come? When you accept limitations, then from where can the problem come? The problem arises out of your non-acceptance. You cannot accept the way you are, hence the problem. I have accepted the way I am, and that very moment all problems disappeared. That very moment all worries disappeared. Not that I became perfect, but I started enjoying my imperfections’.

From the moment I decided to test this concept, it changed my whole attitude towards my ‘problems’. I confess it was not easy for me to sit down and examine the things that my mind was continually chewing on. My mind much preferred to run on and on with all its fears and worries. But the interesting thing was that, once I managed to crystallize the issue – to pin down what was really going on, and what was the worst thing that could go wrong – suddenly it was no more a problem.

However, the mind is incredibly persistent. It needs ‘problems’ to chew on, and the more complicated, the better. In fact, the mind can make a problem out of anything, can’t it? It is really ingenious. So you dissolve one, and immediately the mind starts searching for another.

When I realize I am in the middle of a major mind-fuck, the trick I learned  is to say, ‘This is the mind’. Just like that, without any judgment, condemnation or fight. This simple statement of fact never fails to bring me instantly into the present moment, with a deep and relaxing inhalation. Then I realize I have the choice – I can go on being absorbed in the ‘problem’, unconsciously getting involved with all the fears and projections my mind is creating, or I can have a very direct and clear look at the facts of the situation. What is the actual ‘problem’? Is it real? Would it necessarily be a problem for anyone else, or is it just a problem for my ego? And the beauty of being honest with yourself, and looking clearly and directly, is that the answer is always there in the situation itself.

In my experience, it takes courage to question and look at a problem from a different perspective, it is much easier to stay in an unconscious complaint about it. It also takes courage to accept the reality of a situation and its inherent solution – it is usually not what the ego wants to see and hear.

And, we are very attached to our problems – in a way they are part of our identity. Who would we be without our problems? But the rewards of dropping this unconscious identification are immediate. The deep inner relaxation that comes with acceptance and understanding brings space and new eyes to see everything afresh. To see that life is simple and easy when you go with the flow, when you stop fighting for things to be different from what they are.

LOVE: LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH

In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called, “All You Need is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day.

Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a song called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his grotesque and disturbing videos, abstained from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then cancelled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father.

One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not.

In our culture, many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price.

When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like Lennon, we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect, humility and commitment towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff — all of thehard stuff?

But if, like Reznor, we believe that “love is not enough,” then we understand that healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.

The problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place. Allow me to illustrate:

Love does not equal compatibility. Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you to be with over the long term. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. And the two don’t bleed into one another very well.

It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn’t treat us well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to bring us down with them.

It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who has different ambitions or life goals that are contradictory to our own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews that clash with our own sense of reality.

It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness.

That may sound paradoxical, but it’s true.

When I think of all of the disastrous relationships I’ve seen... many (or most) of them were entered into on the basis of emotion — they felt that “spark” and so they just dove in head first. Forget that he was a born-again Christian alcoholic and she was an acid-dropping bisexual necrophiliac. It just felt right.

And then six months later, when she’s throwing his shit out onto the lawn and he’s praying to Jesus twelve times a day for her salvation, they look around and wonder, “Gee, where did it go wrong?”

The truth is, it went wrong before it even began.

When dating and looking for a partner, you must use not only your heart, but your mind. Yes, you want to find someone who makes your heart flutter and your farts smell like cherry popsicles. But you also need to evaluate a person’s values, how they treat themselves, how they treat those close to them, their ambitions and their worldviews in general. Because if you fall in love with someone who is incompatible with you…well, as the ski instructor from South Park once said, you’re going to have a bad time.

Love does not solve your relationship problems. My ex girlfriend Melissa were madly in love with each other.And every time we fought, we’d come back to each other the next day and make up and remind each other how crazy we were about one another and that none of those little things matter because we’re omg sooooooo in love and we’ll find a way to work it out and everything will be great, just you wait and see. Our love made us feel like we were overcoming our issues, when on a practical level, absolutely nothing had changed.

As you can imagine, none of our problems got resolved. The fights repeated themselves. The arguments got worse We were both self-absorbed to the point where we couldn’t even communicate that effectively. Hours and hours talking on the phone with nothing actually said. Looking back, there was no hope that it was going to last. Yet we kept it up for three fucking years!

After all, love conquers all, right?

Unsurprisingly, that relationship burst into flames and crashed like the Hindenburg being doused in jet fuel. The break up was ugly. And the big lesson I took away from it was this:while love may make you feel better about your relationship problems, it doesn’t actually solve any of your relationship problems.

The roller coaster of emotions can be intoxicating, each high feeling even more important and more valid than the one before, but unless there’s a stable and practical foundation beneath your feet, that rising tide of emotion will eventually come and wash it all away.

Love is not always worth sacrificing yourself. One of the defining characteristics of loving someone is that you are able to think outside of yourself and your own needs to help care for another person and their needs as well.

But the question that doesn’t get asked often enough is exactly what are you sacrificing, and is it worth it?

In loving relationships, it’s normal for both people to occasionally sacrifice their own desires, their own needs, and their own time for one another. I would argue that this is normal and healthy and a big part of what makes a relationship so great.

But when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity, one’s physical body, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic. A loving relationship is supposed to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it. If we find ourselves in situations where we’re tolerating disrespectful or abusive behavior, then that’s essentially what we’re doing: we’re allowing our love to consume us and negate us, and if we’re not careful, it will leave us as a shell of the person we once were.

One of the oldest pieces of relationship advice in the book is, “You and your partner should be best friends.” Most people look at that piece of advice in the positive: I should spend time with my partner like I do my best friend; I should communicate openly with my partner like I do with my best friend; I should have fun with my partner like I do with my best friend.

But people should also look at it in the negative: Would you tolerate your partner’s negative behaviors in your best friend?

Amazingly, when we ask ourselves this question honestly, in most unhealthy andcodependent relationships, the answer is “no.”

I know a young woman who just got married. She was madly in love with her husband. And despite the fact that he had been “between jobs” for more than a year, showed no interest in planning the wedding, often ditched her to take surfing trips with his friends, and her friends and family raised not-so-subtle concerns about him, she happily married him anyway.

But once the emotional high of the wedding wore off, reality set in. A year into their marriage, he’s still “between jobs,” he trashes the house while she’s at work, gets angry if she doesn’t cook dinner for him, and any time she complains he tells her that she’s “spoiled” and “arrogant.” Oh, and he still ditches her to take surfing trips with his friends.

And she got into this situation because she ignored all three of the harsh truths above. She idealized love. Despite being slapped in the face by all of the red flags he raised while dating him, she believed that their love signaled relationship compatibility. It didn’t. When her friends and family raised concerns leading up to the wedding, she believed that their love would solve their problems eventually. It didn’t. And now that everything had fallen into a steaming shit heap, she approached her friends for advice on how she could sacrifice herself even more to make it work.

And the truth is, it won’t.

Why do we tolerate behavior in our romantic relationships that we would never ever, ever tolerate in our friendships?

Imagine if your best friend moved in with you, trashed your place, refused to get a job or pay rent, demanded you cook dinner for them, and got angry and yelled at you any time you complained. That friendship would be over faster than Paris Hilton’s acting career.

Or another situation: a man’s girlfriend who was so jealous that she demanded passwords to all of his accounts and insisted on accompanying him on his business trips to make sure he wasn’t tempted by other women. His life was practically under 24/7 surveillance and you could see it wearing on his self-esteem. His self-worth dropped to nothing. She didn’t trust him to do anything. So he quit trusting himself to do anything.

Yet he stays with her! Why? Because he’s in love!

Remember this: The only way you can fully enjoy the love in your life is to choose to make something else more important in your life than love.

You can fall in love with a wide variety of people throughout the course of your life. You can fall in love with people who are good for you and people who are bad for you. You can fall in love in healthy ways and unhealthy ways. You can fall in love when you’re young and when you’re old. Love is not unique. Love is not special. Love is not scarce.

But your self-respect is. So is your dignity. So is your ability to trust. There can potentially be many loves throughout your life, but once you lose your self-respect, your dignity or your ability to trust, they are very hard to get back.

Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy.

But like any other experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. Like any other experience, it cannot be allowed to define us, our identities or our life purpose. We cannot let it consume us. We cannot sacrifice our identities and self-worth to it. Because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves.

Because you need more in life than love. Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough.

VIDEO: Masaru Emoto's Rice Experiment

LOVE: LIFE LESSON'S ON LOVE

This is one of my favorite stories of all time and a place where I can look back and watch my life change.  All in a single moment.

Grab a coffee, sit back and join me for a ride on the life lesson train.

Let me start by saying that I love asking people about their most embarrassing moments.  Not only is it entertaining for me, but I am able to learn so much about a person from their stories about  “falling” out of their comfort zone and their temporary humiliation – usually, all with a smile on their face.

I, however, was born a wee bit of a klutz, so some people’s most embarrassing moments are just “Daily Alex Moments.”  If there is a drink I will spill it; a rock, I will trip over it.  Let’s just say I gave up wearing white years ago.

So when people ask me about my most embarrassing moment, I always look at it a little differently than most.  For me, it is not about spilling or tripping, but about times where I was less than my best with people I care about.  This one is a doozy.

I got sick one week.  It was a pretty stressful time for me and my body was taking the brunt of it. My girl friend at at that time...Joanne came over to take care of me..to this day, I don’t remember what exactly she said, but whatever it was it made me so upset that I slammed down the cherry container spraying cherries everywhere and said some mean things..

I was instantly horrified by my actions I could not believe what I had done.  I could not believe that I could treat a woman like that who drove to see me.I heard the stairs creaking underneath her feet as she made her way to my room.  A wave of nausea came over me.  As she walked into the room, I was crying too hard to even stutter out a “I’m so, so, so sorry.”  I just sat there sobbing, face red, nose running, paralyzed.

She looked over at me, smiled, walked towards me and hugged me in a way that I knew she wasn’t letting go for awhile.  Then she said, “I shouldn’t have said that, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

I instantly started crying more and the flood gates opened.  I started babbling through the tears and confessing about how I was a horrible person. She pulled away from me, put her hands on my shoulders and smiled. She then said something that would change me forever.  “I love you Alex and not just the good stuff.  I love the good stuff, the bad stuff and everything in between.  I love the whole Alex package.”

At that moment I felt it.  True unconditional love.  It was amazing.

Looking back, I realize now that up until that moment I always thought love had conditions. I thought I needed to look my best, be on my best behavior and aim for perfect to be loved.  I mean who would want to love my flaws? There were plenty.  However, Alex taught me that day when you get past the beginning stuff and the “real” you shows up (which it is going to end up doing anyway) that is where the real love exists.  It is not about only the good stuff, but about the whole package.

Life is a constant learning process for me and I am the last person to say I have the answers, but I will tell you that I have learned that in this crazy journey there is always a whole package, whether you see it right away or not.  I hear a lot of men joke about finding their princess, but secretly in the back of their minds I know they’re hoping she exists,.  But here is something that I have been contemplating lately: I love the rush of a crush.  The excitement of new romance.  The breath stopping need for passion. But what I’ve learned is the love that shows up later is the most satisfying. 

POETRY: YOU ARE MY WOMAN

I know we've never met,but one day we certainly will.We'll gaze into each other's eyes,as the world seems to stand still.The first time we talk it will seem,as if we knew each other a lifetime.Up my ladder of love,you will surely climb.So I thank you in advance,for the new life you'll bring me.For the love you'll teach me,and the gorgeous couple we'll be. For the kids we'll have, and the memories we'll share, Especially for always letting me know, In my time of need, you're there. When I call out your name,you'll stand right by my side. Always keeping your arms,warm, loving, and wide.




Woman:    
I have loved you, I love you and I will love you.    
Allow me to drink in your mouth the elixir of life.    
Allow me to enter in your being's depth    
and to be what I have always wanted to be.
Allow me to feel in you the presence of God.  

Woman:    
Do you remember?    
That time when I gave you a kiss    
for the first time,
as you sweat and your body trembled    
in the face of my impetuosity and audacity.
and yet I wanted to feel your trembling.

Woman:    
I have loved you and I will love you.
God willing (or not)
we can share sweaty kisses in another sky.  
I only know that you are only for me!    

Woman:
Who has not said that to see oneself in your eyes    
is similar to traveling to the infinite
and to feel the warmth of the home of the Almighty    
saying welcome to me, to all who know to appreciate  
the beauty of those eyes,    
the glance of an instant, the wonder of life.    

Woman:    
I love you, I have loved you and I will love you!




2

Today i saw a face, not just any face, your face:
pure unadulterated beauty.
A face that has haunted me for what seems like a thousand years.
A face that has kept me warm during the coldest of winters
and cool in the flames of summer!
This face touches me deeper than anyone has ever cared to drill.
This face has brought me up from the abyss
to a light that shines bright like the sun!
Because of this face I know love with no boundaries.
When I saw this face I knew love beyond doubt.
Today I saw your face.


3

Her face glows with exuberance,
with hair that flows to unknown reaches.
Her eyes burn into your soul without forgiveness,
and her mouth,
oh, a sweet mouth,
that could echo the joys for which I yearn.
Her skin shines the richest gold,
and her nose smells the sweetest scent.

This angelic creature is what I stare at,
consuming my inner being.
As the world around me crumbles...
The seas boil,
and the fire of God falls from the sky.
The birds no longer sing,
and my heart no longer beats.

But her face remains,
bright as the North Star,
etched in the recesses of my mind.
If only I had said something to her,
that day when the sun still shone,
I might not be here,
caught in this flow of lava,
in which slowly I sink.
Alone.


4


With every touch-
we make love.
whether it be-
our hands-
our bodies-
our lips.
Together-
we fit so perfectly.
Physically
and emotionally.
every moment
every breath
every heartbeat
is for you.
you're my other half-
as I am yours.
miraculously-
stepping on a path of broken glass
finally-
finding you in a bed of roses.
My heart skips a beat-
as my eyes take you in.
your mysteriousness
your love
runs all through me.
every vein
every nerve
becomes sharpened
I take you in
with a single breath
holding in 'til
you've reached my heart.
the door is open-
you wander inside.
unaware of where you are
and what an impact you've made.
you decide to stay.
you find it intriquing
and why wouldn't you
in a world of security
in a world of trust
in a world of love
alone at night
i would dream of this world
on that one star that stood out
thinking it was alone.
so i'd somehow feel comfort
but it wasn't alone
nor was it a star.
it was you
waiting patiently in the heavens
for that one girl to wish
for you every night
when you finally felt her passion and devotion
the heavens released you
falling helplessly
i awaited your arrival with open arms


5

When darkness falls and the earth grows still
The moon will begin to rise,
The candles of heaven will begin to burn
And the angel will close her eyes.

As the crickets call throughout the night
The angel will slowly begin to drift asleep
The crickets sing her a lullabye
And in her mind, dreams will creep.

With her head raised upon a pillow, which we both will share,
I will pull the covers over her body to keep her warm,
I will kiss her goodnight with such gentle care.
I will hold her gently so nightmares will do no harm.

As she sleeps throughtout the thickening night
The candles of heaven will continue to shine.
Staying awake and watching her dream
I will whisper to thank God that she is mine.

As she sleeps and dreams her happy dreams
I will stay awake and watch her sleep,
For if the covers should fall off of her
Who else would be there to cover her feet?

As she sleeps she seems so fragile
So I am careful not to cause her to wake.
I do not want to disturb her when she sleeps
For she seems like fragile glass which will easily break.

The earth will be silent and the earth will be still
And the crickets, they will sing,
And candles of heaven will burn through the night
When my angel sleeps.