Dear Soulmate,
Tonight will be a night to remember,you and I sharing this moment forever. Sipping wine, toasting these feelings we share and our love will always be there. The lights are dimmed, fire place chilled soft music plays as we dance the night away. The mood is right as I see passion in your eyes when I'm holding you tonight.I need your warmth to hold me tight,to share your joy would make it feel so right.Let's make it a night,kiss and hold me tight cherish our love forever.Let me make you feel alright, come snuggle in my arms and let me love you tonight.When I look into your eyes I lose myself in you all over again- it's like falling in love a thousand times!! No words could ever explain
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
PERSONAL: THIS DAY IS NOT AN ORDINARY DAY
Just an ordinary day... started out the same old way, but then I looked into my email and read your message..I. knew today would be a first for me... the day I fall in love. In my real life I search everywhere to find you, but in my dreams you are always there with me, your hands in mine, touching the stars, flying in the sky as the moon brightens our night and maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before finding the right one, so that when we finally find the right one, we will know how to be grateful.We found each other somewhere between the day and the night amidst the past and the future; and now we are tangled up with each other
Imagine that in all the eons of time, of all the stars in the heavens, You and I came together for one brief and shining sliver of time.Supposing in the grand infinity of this universe two particles of life, You and I, swirl endlessly like grains of sand in the oceans of the world -- how much of a chance is there for these two particles, these two grains of sand, to collide, to rest briefly together... at the same moment in time?That is what happened with you and I... this miracle of chance. That is life, isn’t it? Fate. Luck. Chance. A long series of what-if’s that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is play your cards and hope for the best, because in the end, it all comes back to those three basics.
Fate. Luck. Chance.Truth be told, strangers are but a mere accident away from being best friends or profound lovers
For my destiny is to love someone who will never stop loving me. If I reach for your hand, will you hold it? If I hold out my arms, will you hug me? If I go for you lips, will you kiss me? If I capture your heart, will you love me?
The perfect girl is one who looks like she could break hearts - but doesn't. A good woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests him. A beautiful woman fascinates him. But a sympathetic woman gets him .How do you know you found the one? You find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst. Only then will you have found your true love.What is love all about? It's all about giving, taking, sharing and keeping. If you are willing to do all this, then you are ready to love that someone special. If you think you found the right person... stop the search and never let them go. Rememeber that the world is a huge place, for when you lose someone, you have to search the world all over again
I am looking for someone, who can take as much as I give, give back as much as I need, and still have the will to live. I am intense, It's difficult to find someone like you; it's like opening a hundred shells under the sea to find one pearl. But finding you makes the dive worth it.What I want most in life is to find that one person who makes the world seem beautiful.You can break my heart a million times, but I will not fear love. It is not Love that caused my pain, but caring for someone who could not feel my love.Love won't wait for you forever. If you let everything pass you by, you'll never find out how beautiful life can really be. Don't be afraid to get hurt; if you don't risk something you'll never gain anything.True love is about honesty, sincerity, sharing and fairness. Always get to know each other's needs. Just as you need qualifications to get a job, herein are the qualifications you must have to get love.
Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark. Let me tell you something. You gotta pay attention to signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this it's a sin if you don't reach back...It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.
I felt attracted to you because your soul spoke to me through your eyes, even when you didn't know it. It's the part of you, that you hold the secret to, that many don't see, and I want to dig deeper. With this comes the undeniable passion and sexuality that can fly us heavenward. Your eyes carried a certain kind of silence that begged to be understood and I felt as if i was a scientist, staring with eager, feverant eyes into galaxies that have not yet had the chance to be named.
It's funny isn't it? People claim to know what love is -- yet the minute they're given the opportunity to prove it -- they bail.When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's something. When you love someone and they love you back, it's everything. Sometimes you need to take the chance and risk it all. Everything might come to an abrupt end or lead to a prosperous beginning either way you would have got your answers, answers you happened to seek which will only be given to you when you ask for them, when you speak.Destiny never gives you chances, but in life you get many chances to change your destiny and here is one. If it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and souls. Then every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I will be yours, you will be mine, and we will be one.It's kindness in a person, not beauty, which wins my love
You know when you're truly in love, when all you can do is just be speechless and stare at nothing 'cause you're just amazed that you just found this incredible person.The beating of my heart is a drum, and it's lost, and it's looking for a rhythm like you. My heart is a traveler, and its destination is you. I'm lost in your heart, Don't use your eyes to look for love for it's your heart that knows it.If you want me to fall for you, you have to give me something worth tripping over.I can only wonder how touching you would make me feel
Imagine that in all the eons of time, of all the stars in the heavens, You and I came together for one brief and shining sliver of time.Supposing in the grand infinity of this universe two particles of life, You and I, swirl endlessly like grains of sand in the oceans of the world -- how much of a chance is there for these two particles, these two grains of sand, to collide, to rest briefly together... at the same moment in time?That is what happened with you and I... this miracle of chance. That is life, isn’t it? Fate. Luck. Chance. A long series of what-if’s that lead from one moment to the next, time never pausing for you to catch your breath, to make sense of the cards that have been handed to you. And all you can do is play your cards and hope for the best, because in the end, it all comes back to those three basics.
Fate. Luck. Chance.Truth be told, strangers are but a mere accident away from being best friends or profound lovers
For my destiny is to love someone who will never stop loving me. If I reach for your hand, will you hold it? If I hold out my arms, will you hug me? If I go for you lips, will you kiss me? If I capture your heart, will you love me?
The perfect girl is one who looks like she could break hearts - but doesn't. A good woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests him. A beautiful woman fascinates him. But a sympathetic woman gets him .How do you know you found the one? You find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst. Only then will you have found your true love.What is love all about? It's all about giving, taking, sharing and keeping. If you are willing to do all this, then you are ready to love that someone special. If you think you found the right person... stop the search and never let them go. Rememeber that the world is a huge place, for when you lose someone, you have to search the world all over again
I am looking for someone, who can take as much as I give, give back as much as I need, and still have the will to live. I am intense, It's difficult to find someone like you; it's like opening a hundred shells under the sea to find one pearl. But finding you makes the dive worth it.What I want most in life is to find that one person who makes the world seem beautiful.You can break my heart a million times, but I will not fear love. It is not Love that caused my pain, but caring for someone who could not feel my love.Love won't wait for you forever. If you let everything pass you by, you'll never find out how beautiful life can really be. Don't be afraid to get hurt; if you don't risk something you'll never gain anything.True love is about honesty, sincerity, sharing and fairness. Always get to know each other's needs. Just as you need qualifications to get a job, herein are the qualifications you must have to get love.
Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark. Let me tell you something. You gotta pay attention to signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this it's a sin if you don't reach back...It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.
I felt attracted to you because your soul spoke to me through your eyes, even when you didn't know it. It's the part of you, that you hold the secret to, that many don't see, and I want to dig deeper. With this comes the undeniable passion and sexuality that can fly us heavenward. Your eyes carried a certain kind of silence that begged to be understood and I felt as if i was a scientist, staring with eager, feverant eyes into galaxies that have not yet had the chance to be named.
It's funny isn't it? People claim to know what love is -- yet the minute they're given the opportunity to prove it -- they bail.When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's something. When you love someone and they love you back, it's everything. Sometimes you need to take the chance and risk it all. Everything might come to an abrupt end or lead to a prosperous beginning either way you would have got your answers, answers you happened to seek which will only be given to you when you ask for them, when you speak.Destiny never gives you chances, but in life you get many chances to change your destiny and here is one. If it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and souls. Then every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I will be yours, you will be mine, and we will be one.It's kindness in a person, not beauty, which wins my love
You know when you're truly in love, when all you can do is just be speechless and stare at nothing 'cause you're just amazed that you just found this incredible person.The beating of my heart is a drum, and it's lost, and it's looking for a rhythm like you. My heart is a traveler, and its destination is you. I'm lost in your heart, Don't use your eyes to look for love for it's your heart that knows it.If you want me to fall for you, you have to give me something worth tripping over.I can only wonder how touching you would make me feel
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
Is it your heart I feel pounding within my chest?Mine is too frail to beat.It twitches at its best.It must be your love flowing through my viens.Mine is gone with you.Nothing of that remains.Was it your star that collided with another,illuminating the heavens we see?That burnt like a supernova fierce and so free?What was the warm touch on my cheek during that cold December night? Could it have been you, though you were not within my sight? Are these your eyes I see through that make everything seem so bright?Are these your dreams I have that bring peaceful sleep at night?These must be your hands, for I've never felt so soft.It has to be your soul inside me.I know this can't be wrong.You are the only one that makes me who I am...And when from the path I fall.It's your love that makes me stand.I breath so I can be with you.I see so I can look in your eyes and have them staring back at me.I feel so when you touch me, my body goes out of control.The reason I am living is because my heart keeps beating for you I hear so I know when you're calling my name I taste so I can taste the sweetness of your kiss.I smell so I can tell when you're around. The reason I am living is because my heart keeps beating for you.You sing your song of love to me...a melody of sheer delight. Your notes fall upon my ears as sweet tones of joyful longing.A love tinged with the honeyed soulfulness of your absolute perfection.You ride the waves of life, not alone for our love provides a cushion. A softness of pillowed passion as I caress the chasm of your wonder. So, sing your song of love to me and hold me in your arms. Dance with me to the music of the spheres of universal love and our souls will touch yet again.As our spirits soar on playful vespers softly wind kissed forever more by the spirit of love.
Is it your heart I feel pounding within my chest?Mine is too frail to beat.It twitches at its best.It must be your love flowing through my viens.Mine is gone with you.Nothing of that remains.Was it your star that collided with another,illuminating the heavens we see?That burnt like a supernova fierce and so free?What was the warm touch on my cheek during that cold December night? Could it have been you, though you were not within my sight? Are these your eyes I see through that make everything seem so bright?Are these your dreams I have that bring peaceful sleep at night?These must be your hands, for I've never felt so soft.It has to be your soul inside me.I know this can't be wrong.You are the only one that makes me who I am...And when from the path I fall.It's your love that makes me stand.I breath so I can be with you.I see so I can look in your eyes and have them staring back at me.I feel so when you touch me, my body goes out of control.The reason I am living is because my heart keeps beating for you I hear so I know when you're calling my name I taste so I can taste the sweetness of your kiss.I smell so I can tell when you're around. The reason I am living is because my heart keeps beating for you.You sing your song of love to me...a melody of sheer delight. Your notes fall upon my ears as sweet tones of joyful longing.A love tinged with the honeyed soulfulness of your absolute perfection.You ride the waves of life, not alone for our love provides a cushion. A softness of pillowed passion as I caress the chasm of your wonder. So, sing your song of love to me and hold me in your arms. Dance with me to the music of the spheres of universal love and our souls will touch yet again.As our spirits soar on playful vespers softly wind kissed forever more by the spirit of love.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
I would wait a thousand years for a day with you. I would walk a thousand miles for one glance at you just to be with you, just to be with you.I think you are beautiful and I want to be there with you when the sun goes down I want to be...be with you.there's a place within my heart that was made for you.I have loved so many girls but none like you just to be with you, just to be with you.There's a fire within my soul and it burns for you. All these words that I say out loud are words so true so true just like you, just to be with you. Being with you is like coming home to the warm, the familiar, the comfortable. Being with you means simply being me,without the need for masks,without the pretensions of being somebody else grand. Being with you is like coming home once again. and i want to come home...It doesn't exist, a moment in a day in which I can part from you. The world seems so distant when you are not by my side. There is no beautiful melody in which I wouldn't think of you that is why I don't want to hear it if you don't hear it too.You have become a part of my soul.no, nothing consoles me any more. If you are not there with me.Far away from your lips from the moon and the stars with you in the distance, my love...I don't exist
I would wait a thousand years for a day with you. I would walk a thousand miles for one glance at you just to be with you, just to be with you.I think you are beautiful and I want to be there with you when the sun goes down I want to be...be with you.there's a place within my heart that was made for you.I have loved so many girls but none like you just to be with you, just to be with you.There's a fire within my soul and it burns for you. All these words that I say out loud are words so true so true just like you, just to be with you. Being with you is like coming home to the warm, the familiar, the comfortable. Being with you means simply being me,without the need for masks,without the pretensions of being somebody else grand. Being with you is like coming home once again. and i want to come home...It doesn't exist, a moment in a day in which I can part from you. The world seems so distant when you are not by my side. There is no beautiful melody in which I wouldn't think of you that is why I don't want to hear it if you don't hear it too.You have become a part of my soul.no, nothing consoles me any more. If you are not there with me.Far away from your lips from the moon and the stars with you in the distance, my love...I don't exist
Monday, April 21, 2014
JOURNAL
I spend the weekend with my parents. I have a medical presentation to give on Thursday. I hope I do well. I was thinking of giving up this blog but this woman from Israel contact me and told me not to give up. I thought about it and she was right.
I am talking to this girl now for the past few days. Most likely I will meet her this weekend. It been over a year now since my last relationship. The make-up artist has totally blew me off...and that is fine. I don't understand how people could make love one moment and be totally stranger once again.
I been daydream a lot. Childhood memories....moments in time. I look back in those moment with a sense of being safe. I miss that feeling.
I am talking to this girl now for the past few days. Most likely I will meet her this weekend. It been over a year now since my last relationship. The make-up artist has totally blew me off...and that is fine. I don't understand how people could make love one moment and be totally stranger once again.
I been daydream a lot. Childhood memories....moments in time. I look back in those moment with a sense of being safe. I miss that feeling.
PERSONAL: ONE NIGHT IN A DREAM
This vision approached me one night in a dream,A vision that you were the only one for me.We were there hand and hand. I was your greatest fan.In this vision, you were the greatest thing in my heart.We were together, to never fall apart.You fulfilled my greatest desire,As our love for each other burned like an eternal fire.You were my angel from above.You were all of this in my vision of love.As I awoke, I had only a dream that you can make come true.This one thing I promise, I will always love you.With one touch of your hand, I will get through the night.Just a little of your love and I know I will be alright.From this day on, my love for you has been proclaimed.Like a kiss in the wind, a miracle love I have obtained.You are my heart, thus become my dove.You are all of this, in my vision of love.
I crept into your dreams last night, though you didn't know I was there.I kissed your eyes and lips, and gently caressed your hair.So sweet you were lying there, as still as the morning dew.Even though you didn't see me, I crawled in next to you.I held you tightly, close to me, in that moment we could not part.Holding you so tenderly in my arms, right next to my heart.In silence I lay next to you as you were sound asleep, thinking of the love we've shared, I gently began to weep.As we lay there, side by side,the darkened night turned to dawn, then you turned on your side and wrapped me in your arms.Then I rose to leave you lying there, and although no one else could hear, I Prayed that I was truly there, just not in spirit...So tonight when you close your eyes and slowly dance among the stars,I pray that you feel me next to you contentedly wrapped in your arms.
Could this be a start... a new beginning...a time to fall in love with the right heart?Could this be true... is it right to try Because the way I feel when I talk to youis kind of scary... yet exciting, too.But I think I can see that something good could happen between you and me.How do I know that you're good for me,when it seems like I?ve been hurt endlessly?I'm tempted to take a chance...but really... could this really be romance?Maybe you'll love me... maybe you'll care,maybe I just have to stick around and find out if there's really something there.
I crept into your dreams last night, though you didn't know I was there.I kissed your eyes and lips, and gently caressed your hair.So sweet you were lying there, as still as the morning dew.Even though you didn't see me, I crawled in next to you.I held you tightly, close to me, in that moment we could not part.Holding you so tenderly in my arms, right next to my heart.In silence I lay next to you as you were sound asleep, thinking of the love we've shared, I gently began to weep.As we lay there, side by side,the darkened night turned to dawn, then you turned on your side and wrapped me in your arms.Then I rose to leave you lying there, and although no one else could hear, I Prayed that I was truly there, just not in spirit...So tonight when you close your eyes and slowly dance among the stars,I pray that you feel me next to you contentedly wrapped in your arms.
Could this be a start... a new beginning...a time to fall in love with the right heart?Could this be true... is it right to try Because the way I feel when I talk to youis kind of scary... yet exciting, too.But I think I can see that something good could happen between you and me.How do I know that you're good for me,when it seems like I?ve been hurt endlessly?I'm tempted to take a chance...but really... could this really be romance?Maybe you'll love me... maybe you'll care,maybe I just have to stick around and find out if there's really something there.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
PERSONAL: COULD I BE THE ONE FOR YOU, YOU JUST MAYBE THE ONE
There are many things that I could say about myself and my assessment will never be the same as someone else's. I want boast about myself as others may do, but that's not to say that I don't find many wonderful attributes within. I enjoy the simple pleasures in life and I find beauty in all things. Everything that appears on this earth is in possession of some form of beauty. Things that may be strange to most, normally are the very thing that gathers all my attention. I enjoy the study of all things, but I solace myself in my own deep thoughts to help me understand myself more completely, that the thoughts of others about me will not affect what's most important and that would be my thoughts of self... My life revolves around the things that I am most passionate about, such as art, music and things that show the depth of others intellect. My first attraction towards anyone is confidence. Everyone should have it, although it's not likely. Spontaneous people I love and couldn't live without the excitement and joy that some people bring.. I am here with every hope to share the best of who I am and freely allow you to come to know me. I believe that it would be the greatest of pleasures to come to know you. My thoughts on dating: My approach to this is not merely to find women that are in search of a single man, but more so to distinguish the many character attributes of beauty that I seek within the frame of ''1'' woman. We all have the believe of what we believe that we should have or want in our lives and chances are if you want it badly enough then you shall have it. Honestly"I have seen the most gorgeous women on this site, like never before found. Quickly "the beauty of most of you, arouse all the male senses. Tell me how deeply has that beauty been displayed, are the elements of beauty that we are finding merely only surface level beauty or are we reaching deeper for the great source of beauty. If you are like myself, you may have dreams of that one that will gather your every attention and captivate the mind to a world of wonder. There are some who have such an allurement of beauty, that it can be beyond understanding. My question is how well has that kind of beauty been cultivated and how can it delight my soul with it's richness. I'm not just speaking of the pleasures of the flesh, but more so towards the enrichment of my mind. There's a beauty that gives strength and increases a man's understanding of the beauty of life and that of love. It's not just the physical realm of attraction that I and many others long for, but the longing is for a deposit of all things that have lacked from other relationship. I want to see what constitutes who you are and what brought you to become the woman of that has presented herself today., I want to know how she arrived at the depths of her beauty to define the caliber of woman she has become over her life span. I want to see the core of her heart and know her passions, that I may share in them as an adventure we can take together. I want to invite her into my joys and my hopes of tomorrows and trust that she will look upon them as if they are her own. I could care less if you have the greatest ass Or if your breast are large or small. Show me you as I am willing to do just the same, I am imperfect and I would assume that you are, but I'm not here to magnify your faults, nor to expose them. I am here with hopes to build a foundation to take on new endeavours for the hope of life with someone. I know that what I have fault after I shall find in time. The heart is encouraged and the mind is free to the exploration of hope and of what both shall find. You are here and even if I stand silent of words, I know that I have found you and the wealth of treasure that you are. When the time shall come that we speak, in confidence we will both say that our territory has been enlarged to the fulfillment of our hearts. I have to add this because I believe that we have every right to also state if we have any preferences that are not out of prejudice, but that are only of physical attractions. Although I find that all women are beautiful, my only dating preference is women of caucasian decent. This is in no ways a shamefulness towards any other ethnicity, but only where my own interest falls. I will determinedly respond to anyone that sends a message if I find that you interest is deeper than a simple hello. Ladies this is a new day and age where you don't have to be shy and I hope that you want. When and if the time comes that we may message each other, please be sincere in you endeavour and make your interest known. Thank you...
I am looking for...
I was asked what's my type of a woman. That's simple to answer first she's smart with intellectual thoughts and conversation. She's confident even when she may be out of her own league, believing in herself that she's the greatest conqueror of all things. She has class and her grace is moving to the soul. She's not given to drama nor does she have any insecurities of her position in the life of her man. With me its never about your outer beauty that's presented before everyone, but about the inner beauty that she's willing to show me. She doesn't have to be the most physically attractive person just as long as she has nice feet with pretty toes.
I am looking for...
I was asked what's my type of a woman. That's simple to answer first she's smart with intellectual thoughts and conversation. She's confident even when she may be out of her own league, believing in herself that she's the greatest conqueror of all things. She has class and her grace is moving to the soul. She's not given to drama nor does she have any insecurities of her position in the life of her man. With me its never about your outer beauty that's presented before everyone, but about the inner beauty that she's willing to show me. She doesn't have to be the most physically attractive person just as long as she has nice feet with pretty toes.
PERSONAL: I HATE FOR YOU TO MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO MET ME
I would really hate for you to miss an opportunity to meet a really great guy with a big heart, a great smile and who will make you laugh, a lot. So I am thinking you should probably read the rest of my profile and you should probably e-mail me as soon as possible. Come on, what are you waiting for? Things I am pretty sure about: a smile is worth a million dollars and a giggle and a laugh are priceless. A sense of humor is an absolute requirement. I don't believe in a list of preconceptions because you might miss great people that way. However, between us we would probably have a combination of humor, humility, grace or chivalry, romance, spontaneity, compassion, intrigue, good values, character, and empathy for others. So as we all know, chemistry is essential and while sometimes it is difficult to find, it is definitely worth waiting for and after all, that is what we are all looking for. So, are you interested in meeting someone who loves to have fun (of course you are, who wouldn't be), enjoys great food and wine (after all you have to eat and you will eventually get thirsty), and explore the city with (this is NY and there is so much to see), then I hope we can chat soon. Have a great day and look forward to hearing from you soon.
Welcome fellow window shopper, Allow me to bow as you peruse my wares, I think you’ll find something exotic, attributes not found everywhere. Behold, my dot come billboard, drawn from biological code My persona lit up like **Vegas Lights**, it has to be catchy I’m told! Stroll slowly through my narrative, linger on my smile, Now that we’re alone, am I the man you’ve haven’t met in a while? If you have no pictures, sorry, you’re just not taking this serious, While I’m sure you’re a nice person, I’m just not into 50 shades of mysterious! Now without further adieu, here I am, a person Just like you… Alright world, its time for me to focus your energy and make this match making thang work!.....Well it sounds good in theory at least :) Who am I and what do I want in a person? Wow, that’s like asking the meaning of life! Let me sip on this Big Rock Trad for a moment and reflect on my years on this gargantuan ball of earth and water.....Well, I would consider myself a pretty lucky individual, I have an amazing family (pounds to Mom and Dad, high five to my sisters). My adult years have been a healthy split of working my butt off for a successful career (check) and reaping the rewards of hard work like having a comfortable home to rest my head and having the ability to enjoy my hobbies. I'm a guy’s guy but I have a thoughtful and reflective side. I like BBQs in the summer and snowboarding when the snow fly’s. On the flip side I also like to write poetry and I've actually gone to see the play "Chicago" alone, just because I wanted to see it that bad. I want to have kids with the right partner I'm looking forward to a wonderful family life down the road. What do I want in a woman? Quite simple actually....physical chemistry, physically active, a sense of humor humility, career drive, love of the outdoors, a desire for family, self confident, self sufficient, love of food, ability to cook (or at least try!), knows herself, un-materialistic, realistic....someone who is happy with themselves yet appreciates the amazing life that can unfold when they share theirs with someone special. I hope this helps depict what I'm about and who I'm looking for. I know how busy I am and I bet you are too, so I've taken extra effort with my profile details. If you feel we're a match, hallelujah! What are you waiting for, fire off a message for Pete’s sake! If we're not, however, thanks for checking in and best of luck in your search
Welcome fellow window shopper, Allow me to bow as you peruse my wares, I think you’ll find something exotic, attributes not found everywhere. Behold, my dot come billboard, drawn from biological code My persona lit up like **Vegas Lights**, it has to be catchy I’m told! Stroll slowly through my narrative, linger on my smile, Now that we’re alone, am I the man you’ve haven’t met in a while? If you have no pictures, sorry, you’re just not taking this serious, While I’m sure you’re a nice person, I’m just not into 50 shades of mysterious! Now without further adieu, here I am, a person Just like you… Alright world, its time for me to focus your energy and make this match making thang work!.....Well it sounds good in theory at least :) Who am I and what do I want in a person? Wow, that’s like asking the meaning of life! Let me sip on this Big Rock Trad for a moment and reflect on my years on this gargantuan ball of earth and water.....Well, I would consider myself a pretty lucky individual, I have an amazing family (pounds to Mom and Dad, high five to my sisters). My adult years have been a healthy split of working my butt off for a successful career (check) and reaping the rewards of hard work like having a comfortable home to rest my head and having the ability to enjoy my hobbies. I'm a guy’s guy but I have a thoughtful and reflective side. I like BBQs in the summer and snowboarding when the snow fly’s. On the flip side I also like to write poetry and I've actually gone to see the play "Chicago" alone, just because I wanted to see it that bad. I want to have kids with the right partner I'm looking forward to a wonderful family life down the road. What do I want in a woman? Quite simple actually....physical chemistry, physically active, a sense of humor humility, career drive, love of the outdoors, a desire for family, self confident, self sufficient, love of food, ability to cook (or at least try!), knows herself, un-materialistic, realistic....someone who is happy with themselves yet appreciates the amazing life that can unfold when they share theirs with someone special. I hope this helps depict what I'm about and who I'm looking for. I know how busy I am and I bet you are too, so I've taken extra effort with my profile details. If you feel we're a match, hallelujah! What are you waiting for, fire off a message for Pete’s sake! If we're not, however, thanks for checking in and best of luck in your search
PERSONAL : LOOKING FOR YOU
Hello and thank you for taking the time to check out my profile! I am a well established, honest, hardworking, successful man who is both emotionally and financially stable. I live a relatively care free, worry free, drama free life, it is safe to say life has been very good to me so far! I know who I am and what I want in life! Fitness is very important to me, my diet and exercise help me to maintain a healthy lifestyle! I am a kindhearted, generous, patient, loving man who is looking for someone to be crazy about someone whose company I truly enjoy! I am confident but yet humble. I am honest and direct. I am the kind of person who sees something I am interested in and I go for it! It is who I am, it is ingrained in me, I live my life with no regrets! You know what they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained! Hopefully you pick up on my sense of humor when you read the rest of my profile! Unlike most men I am NOT here to play games, I am NOT "playing the field" looking for random hook-ups, one night stands, or flings! I don't smoke pot, play video games or live in my parents basement! Additionally I am not looking for a sugar momma, I have plenty of my own money Unlike the many rude and inconsiderate people you will encounter, I treat everyone with respect, if you send me an email I will respond back whether I am interested or not, either way I will acknowledge the fact that you reached out to me. I expect that same in return as I don't reach out to just anybody! Keep in mind, you are guaranteed to not meet ANY new people if you don't communicate! Well, what are you waiting for? Shoot me an email! you can ask me anything! I am looking forward to hearing from you! If you like what you see and have read in my profile and you choose to communicate with me, do plan on actually meeting me in person within a reasonable amount of time as the endless emailing and eventual texting back and forth is all just a waste of OUR time if once we meet in person there is no chemistry! I didn't join to play games or build people up just to let them down upon meeting in person! I did join to meet someone for the long haul, I am looking to connect with someone and over time develop a very deep, close relationship!
ARTICLE: Why I'm Resigning After 11 Years as a Teacher BY Pauline Hawkins
Dear Administrators, Superintendent, et al.:
This is my official resignation letter from my English teaching position.
I'm sad to be leaving a place that has meant so much to me. This was my first teaching job. For eleven years I taught in these classrooms, I walked these halls, and I befriended colleagues, students, and parents alike. This school became part of my family, and I will be forever connected to this community for that reason.
I am grateful for having had the opportunity to serve my community as a teacher. I met the most incredible people here. I am forever changed by my brilliant and compassionate colleagues and the incredible students I've had the pleasure of teaching.
I know I have made a difference in the lives of my students, just as they have irrevocably changed mine. Teaching is the most rewarding job I have ever had. That is why I am sad to leave the profession I love.
Even though I am primarily leaving to be closer to my family, if my family were in Colorado I would not be able to continue teaching here. As a newly single mom, I cannot live in this community on the salary I make as a teacher. With the effects of the pay freeze still lingering and Colorado having one of the lowest yearly teaching salaries in the nation, it has become financially impossible for me to teach in this state.
Along with the salary issue, ethically, I can no longer work in an educational system that is spiraling downwards while it purports to improve the education of our children.
I began my career just as No Child Left Behind (NCLB) was gaining momentum. The difference between my students then and now is unmistakable. Regardless of grades or test scores, my students from five to eleven years ago still had a sense of pride in whom they were and a self-confidence in whom they would become someday. Sadly, that type of student is rare now. Every year I have seen a decline in student morale; every year I have more and more wounded students sitting in my classroom, more and more students participating in self-harm and bullying. These children are lost and in pain.
It is no coincidence that the students I have now coincide with the NCLB movement 12 years ago -- and it's only getting worse with the new legislation around Race to the Top.
I have sweet, incredible, intelligent children sitting in my classroom who are giving up on their lives already. They feel that they only have failure in their futures because they've been told they aren't good enough by a standardized test; they've been told that they can't be successful because they aren't jumping through the right hoops on their educational paths. I have spent so much time trying to reverse those thoughts, trying to help them see that education is not punitive; education is the only way they can improve their lives. But the truth is, the current educational system is punishing them for their inadequacies, rather than helping them discover their unique talents; our educational system is failing our children because it is not meeting their needs.
I can no longer be a part of a system that continues to do the exact opposite of what I am supposed to do as a teacher-I am supposed to help them think for themselves, help them find solutions to problems, help them become productive members of society. Instead, the emphasis on Common Core Standards and high-stakes testing is creating a teach-to-the-test mentality for our teachers and stress and anxiety for our students. Students have increasingly become hesitant to think for themselves because they have been programmed to believe that there is one right answer that they may or may not have been given yet. That is what school has become: A place where teachers must give students "right" answers, so students can prove (on tests riddled with problems, by the way) that teachers have taught students what the standards have deemed to be a proper education.
As unique as my personal situation might be, I know I am not the only teacher feeling this way. Instead of weeding out the "bad" teachers, this evaluation system will continue to frustrate the teachers who are doing everything they can to ensure their students are graduating with the skills necessary to become civic minded individuals. We feel defeated and helpless: If we speak out, we are reprimanded for not being team players; if we do as we are told, we are supporting a broken system.
Since I've worked here, we have always asked the question of every situation: "Is this good for kids?" My answer to this new legislation is, "No. This is absolutely not good for kids." I cannot stand by and watch this happen to our precious children-our future. The irony is I cannot fight for their rights while I am working in the system. Therefore, I will not apply for another teaching job anywhere in this country while our government continues to ruin public education. Instead, I will do my best to be an advocate for change. I will continue to fight for our children's rights for a free and proper education because their very lives depend upon it.
My final plea as a district employee is that the principals and superintendent ask themselves the same questions I have asked myself: "Is this good for kids? Is the state money being spent wisely to keep and attract good teachers? Can the district do a better job of advocating for our children and become leaders in this educational system rather than followers?" With my resignation, I hope to inspire change in the district I have come to love. As Benjamin Franklin once said: "All mankind is divided into three classes: Those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move." I want to be someone who moves and makes things happen. Which one do you want to be?
This is my official resignation letter from my English teaching position.
I'm sad to be leaving a place that has meant so much to me. This was my first teaching job. For eleven years I taught in these classrooms, I walked these halls, and I befriended colleagues, students, and parents alike. This school became part of my family, and I will be forever connected to this community for that reason.
I am grateful for having had the opportunity to serve my community as a teacher. I met the most incredible people here. I am forever changed by my brilliant and compassionate colleagues and the incredible students I've had the pleasure of teaching.
I know I have made a difference in the lives of my students, just as they have irrevocably changed mine. Teaching is the most rewarding job I have ever had. That is why I am sad to leave the profession I love.
Even though I am primarily leaving to be closer to my family, if my family were in Colorado I would not be able to continue teaching here. As a newly single mom, I cannot live in this community on the salary I make as a teacher. With the effects of the pay freeze still lingering and Colorado having one of the lowest yearly teaching salaries in the nation, it has become financially impossible for me to teach in this state.
Along with the salary issue, ethically, I can no longer work in an educational system that is spiraling downwards while it purports to improve the education of our children.
I began my career just as No Child Left Behind (NCLB) was gaining momentum. The difference between my students then and now is unmistakable. Regardless of grades or test scores, my students from five to eleven years ago still had a sense of pride in whom they were and a self-confidence in whom they would become someday. Sadly, that type of student is rare now. Every year I have seen a decline in student morale; every year I have more and more wounded students sitting in my classroom, more and more students participating in self-harm and bullying. These children are lost and in pain.
It is no coincidence that the students I have now coincide with the NCLB movement 12 years ago -- and it's only getting worse with the new legislation around Race to the Top.
I have sweet, incredible, intelligent children sitting in my classroom who are giving up on their lives already. They feel that they only have failure in their futures because they've been told they aren't good enough by a standardized test; they've been told that they can't be successful because they aren't jumping through the right hoops on their educational paths. I have spent so much time trying to reverse those thoughts, trying to help them see that education is not punitive; education is the only way they can improve their lives. But the truth is, the current educational system is punishing them for their inadequacies, rather than helping them discover their unique talents; our educational system is failing our children because it is not meeting their needs.
I can no longer be a part of a system that continues to do the exact opposite of what I am supposed to do as a teacher-I am supposed to help them think for themselves, help them find solutions to problems, help them become productive members of society. Instead, the emphasis on Common Core Standards and high-stakes testing is creating a teach-to-the-test mentality for our teachers and stress and anxiety for our students. Students have increasingly become hesitant to think for themselves because they have been programmed to believe that there is one right answer that they may or may not have been given yet. That is what school has become: A place where teachers must give students "right" answers, so students can prove (on tests riddled with problems, by the way) that teachers have taught students what the standards have deemed to be a proper education.
As unique as my personal situation might be, I know I am not the only teacher feeling this way. Instead of weeding out the "bad" teachers, this evaluation system will continue to frustrate the teachers who are doing everything they can to ensure their students are graduating with the skills necessary to become civic minded individuals. We feel defeated and helpless: If we speak out, we are reprimanded for not being team players; if we do as we are told, we are supporting a broken system.
Since I've worked here, we have always asked the question of every situation: "Is this good for kids?" My answer to this new legislation is, "No. This is absolutely not good for kids." I cannot stand by and watch this happen to our precious children-our future. The irony is I cannot fight for their rights while I am working in the system. Therefore, I will not apply for another teaching job anywhere in this country while our government continues to ruin public education. Instead, I will do my best to be an advocate for change. I will continue to fight for our children's rights for a free and proper education because their very lives depend upon it.
My final plea as a district employee is that the principals and superintendent ask themselves the same questions I have asked myself: "Is this good for kids? Is the state money being spent wisely to keep and attract good teachers? Can the district do a better job of advocating for our children and become leaders in this educational system rather than followers?" With my resignation, I hope to inspire change in the district I have come to love. As Benjamin Franklin once said: "All mankind is divided into three classes: Those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move." I want to be someone who moves and makes things happen. Which one do you want to be?
ARTICLE: NY POST- Can you spot a gold digger?
When he first met a beautiful, inquisitive and upbeat doctor during a singles trip, K.G., a 42-year-old Manhattan-based risk consultant for banks, had no idea he was being played. (He asked that only his initials be used for privacy reasons.)
“She masked the ‘take men for what you can get’ mentality so well,” he recalls — at least at first.
“She didn’t carry one of those handbags in the crook of her arm, she wasn’t tipping over with jewelry — all those telltale signs.”
But after a few weeks of dating, red flags began to pop up: She refused to dine at midpriced restaurants, and when she invited him out to a bar to meet her pals, he was expected to pick up the tab for her 14 friends.
Modal Trigger
Matchmaker Janis Spindel
“My girlfriend said, ‘Why don’t you buy drinks for everyone?’”
Over the course of a year of dating, there were extravagant trips to Europe and, for her birthday, he splurged on a Cartier watch.
But when his birthday rolled around five months later, he was treated to a “mediocre” restaurant, sans present.
So when his friends told him that she’d been cheating on him, he decided he’d had enough.
“She just wanted someone to provide for her so she wouldn’t have to work,” he says on reflection. “She was good on paper — attractive, had her career — but she had her own goals.
“I was so depressed with it all,” he adds.
Gold diggers are such a problem in NYC, one woman has set up an agency that proclaims it will weed them out.
Upper East Side matchmaker Janis Spindel founded Club J-Love in 1993 — and since then claims to have 1,008 marriages under her belt. Her specialty? Helping men like K.G. avoid heartbreak — and the loss of hard-earned money — by sussing out a woman’s true motives.
“I can smell a gold digger from a mile away,” says Spindel, who says she rejects about 10 percent of all those vying for a place in her 3,000-member stable of beauties. “It’s why [my clients] come to me — to protect them from bimbettes and gold diggers.”
According to Spindel, gold diggers are a growing problem, now that the city is awash in “more money” — from Wall Street to hedge funds to startups. And so she vets each woman in person, grilling each one with a series of pointed questions aimed at determining whether she’s a perfect 10 — or a 49er in disguise.
Kimberly vs. Amanda
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Kimberly Rich, 33. Profession: physical therapist. What she has to offer: “I think I’m a loving and generous person, have a great career and an independent life.” GOLDIGGER? NO
RIGHT: Amanda Marie, 21. Professional: salon manager. What she has to offer: “I have looks, youth, fun, spontaneity and dedication!” GOLDIGGER? YESPhoto: Helayne Seidman; Brian Zak
“My clients need to know that the women are upscale, professional people and they have a job — they don’t really care what the job is, but they have to have a real job,” says Spindel, whose male clients fork over upward of $50,000 to join her matchmaking service.
So, how do you distinguish a well-intentioned woman from the ones who just really, really like talking about your wallet?
Not only should the woman have a job, says Spindel, but a sizable income — six figures is expected. She should also be independent and live alone.
But is it really as simple as that? After all, many well-intentioned women want to align themselves with successful, powerful men, too.
For Robin Kassner, a 30-something CEO of her own firm, Haute PR, her future husband’s wallet, like his heart, can never be too big.
“As a successful woman, I’m looking for someone of my caliber — not some schlump off the street, but someone as successful as me — or more.”
The flaxen-haired vixen is heaving with desire, and has the décolletage-baring dresses to prove it.
“I want to go from a First Avenue princess to a Park Avenue princess,” says the UES singleton, who is unequivocal about her choosy checklist. “I’m looking for a perfect 10 — someone who’s 5 on the looks scale with $5 million in the bank.”
She earns in the top 1 percent, but she’s not interested in a parasite who’s not earning his own keep.
“Some people may call me a gold digger, but I call myself a goal digger — I’m goal-oriented, I have a really nice lifestyle, but I need a husband who can move me into the next tax bracket, together. There’s no shame in my game.”
Experts agree.
“There are definitely some women who are clearly gold diggers — very focused on wanting to live a certain type of life that they don’t think they can accomplish on their own or don’t want to accomplish on their own — and finding these men is the answer,” says Manhattan-based relationship therapist Rachel Sussman.
“There are other women who do have careers and ambition, but they have that fantasy of dating someone who works on Wall Street or makes more money than they do, and [that this] will give them a more interesting life. I wouldn’t necessarily call that girl a gold digger.”
Jess vs. Robin
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Jess Alexus, 22. Profession: student. What she has to offer: “I’m low-key, young and loving life.” GOLDIGGER? YES
RIGHT: Robin Kassner, 30-something. Profession: founder and CEO of Haute PR, a public relations firm. What she has to offer: “I’m blond, buxom, beautiful, intelligent — a career girl. I’m an excellent girlfriend — and I hope one day an excellent wife and mom.” GOLDIGGER? YESPhoto: Anne Wermiel
What is clear is that when it comes to relationships in NYC, money talks.
“When you ask guys their biggest problem dating in the city, they complain that all women just want rich guys. Wealthy guys are guarded and have a wall up, and not-wealthy guys feel they’re getting passed over because they don’t make enough money.”
Sussman even hears gripes from doctors and lawyers lamenting that they don’t rake in enough dough.
According to Sussman, it’s not a woman’s earnings (or lack thereof) that predict “gold digger” status — but rather a sense of entitlement: She never reaches for her wallet and insists on the best of everything.
“There’s a level of financial expectation.”
Male moneybags in NYC have figured out their own determining factors for a gold digger.
“The litmus test is, if you didn’t have money, would your relationship still be the same? Having money might get your foot in the door with a woman, but the test is, if you lost your money, Bernie Madoff-style, would she move on?” says Justin Ross Lee, 31, a socialite who appeared as a potential suitor on Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker” last week.
“If a guy can’t answer that, he’s written his own check. The guys who are OK with it understand it’s a transaction — it’s literal tit for tat.”
Amanda Marie, a 21-year-old salon manager who lives in Staten Island, understands such transactions.
Since joining Seeking Arrangement, a dating Web site pairing hot young things with the sugar daddies who spoil them, two years ago, she traded in a cash-poor boyfriend who slaved away in retail for a string of monied men who take her out on the town — treating her to long dinners at Bobby Van’s in the Financial District and a monthly allowance of $4,000.
The relationships are superficial — of one paramour, she notes, “I think he owned his own construction company, but I’m not sure. He never really talked about work” — but such arrangements beat schlepping home on the late-night ferry.
That’s what she did when she dated a guy her own age, but after two years of this, she had had enough.
“He was really poor,” she says. “I loved him and cared about him, but he was struggling like me.
“I always ended up paying for dinners and Christmas presents.”
Of her new lifestyle, she says, “It’s not about using a guy for money, but about having that comfortable feeling. I love generosity — because I’m really generous.”
Lydiane vs. Joie
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Lydiane Interdonato, 32. Profession: guidance counselor. What she has to offer: “I’m educated and articulate. I’m a real person. I’m attractive, and pretty well-rounded too.” GOLDIGGER? NO
RIGHT: Joie Tavernise, 35. Profession: owner of JTav Clinical Skin Care. What she has to offer: “I am driven and passionate in all that I do, compassionate, balanced, fun and strive for all the best life has to offer.” GOLDIGGER? NOPhoto: Helayne Seidman (2)
All of this is little consolation to guys frustrated with today’s money-centric dating culture.
So much so that Michael, a 33-year-old bicoastal bachelor in real estate acquisitions, who asked that his last name be withheld for privacy reasons, hired Spindel six months ago to the tune of $100K.
Since then, he’s been set up with five girls whom he says “you could take home to Mom.” He’s now in a “serious” relationship with one of them.
“I’m very satisfied with her vetting methods,” says Michael. “I value a relationship that promotes family values — and she could figure out and find exactly what I wanted.”
Others aren’t so lucky. Ross Den, a 30-year-old entrepreneur and photographer, has a lot to offer — a job, his own apartment and wheels (including a car and a motorcycle). But he has yet to find success in the brutal NYC dating pool.
“‘Do you live in the city?’ is one of the first questions to come up,” says Den, who lives in geographically undesirable Midwood, Brooklyn.
“For a lot of women, it’s a no-no — they’re used to a certain lifestyle.”
Still, he’s guarded but hopeful he’ll eventually find a wholesome gal.
“I believe there are plenty of genuine, kindhearted women who won’t exchange their souls for monetary gain,” he says. “It’s key to be with someone for who they are versus what they have.”
And if that means wading through materialistic muck, then so be it, says Den. “New York has its own rules in many ways.”
Five ways to spot a gold digger
Matchmaker Janis Spindel asks ladies looking to date her high-end male clients to pen a 2,500-word bio and fill out an extensive questionnaire. Here are her five rules for spotting a gold digger:
1. A woman who is obsessed with dating a successful man — and knowing what his salary is.
2. A lack of a job is a telltale sign a woman is looking for someone to support her. “Women must have [jobs],” says Spindel. “It gives them a sense of confidence, allows them to support themselves and keeps them busy during the day.”
3. She complains about Spindel’s fee of $1,000 for a one-on-one meeting.
4. A woman who makes unreasonable demands: “If they tell me they must date a man with a plane, I say ‘Sayonara.’”
5. A lady who asks the wrong questions: “When they ask me how many homes my client has, they’re inquiring for the wrong reasons.”
“She masked the ‘take men for what you can get’ mentality so well,” he recalls — at least at first.
“She didn’t carry one of those handbags in the crook of her arm, she wasn’t tipping over with jewelry — all those telltale signs.”
But after a few weeks of dating, red flags began to pop up: She refused to dine at midpriced restaurants, and when she invited him out to a bar to meet her pals, he was expected to pick up the tab for her 14 friends.
Modal Trigger
Matchmaker Janis Spindel
“My girlfriend said, ‘Why don’t you buy drinks for everyone?’”
Over the course of a year of dating, there were extravagant trips to Europe and, for her birthday, he splurged on a Cartier watch.
But when his birthday rolled around five months later, he was treated to a “mediocre” restaurant, sans present.
So when his friends told him that she’d been cheating on him, he decided he’d had enough.
“She just wanted someone to provide for her so she wouldn’t have to work,” he says on reflection. “She was good on paper — attractive, had her career — but she had her own goals.
“I was so depressed with it all,” he adds.
Gold diggers are such a problem in NYC, one woman has set up an agency that proclaims it will weed them out.
Upper East Side matchmaker Janis Spindel founded Club J-Love in 1993 — and since then claims to have 1,008 marriages under her belt. Her specialty? Helping men like K.G. avoid heartbreak — and the loss of hard-earned money — by sussing out a woman’s true motives.
“I can smell a gold digger from a mile away,” says Spindel, who says she rejects about 10 percent of all those vying for a place in her 3,000-member stable of beauties. “It’s why [my clients] come to me — to protect them from bimbettes and gold diggers.”
According to Spindel, gold diggers are a growing problem, now that the city is awash in “more money” — from Wall Street to hedge funds to startups. And so she vets each woman in person, grilling each one with a series of pointed questions aimed at determining whether she’s a perfect 10 — or a 49er in disguise.
Kimberly vs. Amanda
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Kimberly Rich, 33. Profession: physical therapist. What she has to offer: “I think I’m a loving and generous person, have a great career and an independent life.” GOLDIGGER? NO
RIGHT: Amanda Marie, 21. Professional: salon manager. What she has to offer: “I have looks, youth, fun, spontaneity and dedication!” GOLDIGGER? YESPhoto: Helayne Seidman; Brian Zak
“My clients need to know that the women are upscale, professional people and they have a job — they don’t really care what the job is, but they have to have a real job,” says Spindel, whose male clients fork over upward of $50,000 to join her matchmaking service.
So, how do you distinguish a well-intentioned woman from the ones who just really, really like talking about your wallet?
Not only should the woman have a job, says Spindel, but a sizable income — six figures is expected. She should also be independent and live alone.
But is it really as simple as that? After all, many well-intentioned women want to align themselves with successful, powerful men, too.
For Robin Kassner, a 30-something CEO of her own firm, Haute PR, her future husband’s wallet, like his heart, can never be too big.
“As a successful woman, I’m looking for someone of my caliber — not some schlump off the street, but someone as successful as me — or more.”
The flaxen-haired vixen is heaving with desire, and has the décolletage-baring dresses to prove it.
“I want to go from a First Avenue princess to a Park Avenue princess,” says the UES singleton, who is unequivocal about her choosy checklist. “I’m looking for a perfect 10 — someone who’s 5 on the looks scale with $5 million in the bank.”
She earns in the top 1 percent, but she’s not interested in a parasite who’s not earning his own keep.
“Some people may call me a gold digger, but I call myself a goal digger — I’m goal-oriented, I have a really nice lifestyle, but I need a husband who can move me into the next tax bracket, together. There’s no shame in my game.”
Experts agree.
“There are definitely some women who are clearly gold diggers — very focused on wanting to live a certain type of life that they don’t think they can accomplish on their own or don’t want to accomplish on their own — and finding these men is the answer,” says Manhattan-based relationship therapist Rachel Sussman.
“There are other women who do have careers and ambition, but they have that fantasy of dating someone who works on Wall Street or makes more money than they do, and [that this] will give them a more interesting life. I wouldn’t necessarily call that girl a gold digger.”
Jess vs. Robin
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Jess Alexus, 22. Profession: student. What she has to offer: “I’m low-key, young and loving life.” GOLDIGGER? YES
RIGHT: Robin Kassner, 30-something. Profession: founder and CEO of Haute PR, a public relations firm. What she has to offer: “I’m blond, buxom, beautiful, intelligent — a career girl. I’m an excellent girlfriend — and I hope one day an excellent wife and mom.” GOLDIGGER? YESPhoto: Anne Wermiel
What is clear is that when it comes to relationships in NYC, money talks.
“When you ask guys their biggest problem dating in the city, they complain that all women just want rich guys. Wealthy guys are guarded and have a wall up, and not-wealthy guys feel they’re getting passed over because they don’t make enough money.”
Sussman even hears gripes from doctors and lawyers lamenting that they don’t rake in enough dough.
According to Sussman, it’s not a woman’s earnings (or lack thereof) that predict “gold digger” status — but rather a sense of entitlement: She never reaches for her wallet and insists on the best of everything.
“There’s a level of financial expectation.”
Male moneybags in NYC have figured out their own determining factors for a gold digger.
“The litmus test is, if you didn’t have money, would your relationship still be the same? Having money might get your foot in the door with a woman, but the test is, if you lost your money, Bernie Madoff-style, would she move on?” says Justin Ross Lee, 31, a socialite who appeared as a potential suitor on Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker” last week.
“If a guy can’t answer that, he’s written his own check. The guys who are OK with it understand it’s a transaction — it’s literal tit for tat.”
Amanda Marie, a 21-year-old salon manager who lives in Staten Island, understands such transactions.
Since joining Seeking Arrangement, a dating Web site pairing hot young things with the sugar daddies who spoil them, two years ago, she traded in a cash-poor boyfriend who slaved away in retail for a string of monied men who take her out on the town — treating her to long dinners at Bobby Van’s in the Financial District and a monthly allowance of $4,000.
The relationships are superficial — of one paramour, she notes, “I think he owned his own construction company, but I’m not sure. He never really talked about work” — but such arrangements beat schlepping home on the late-night ferry.
That’s what she did when she dated a guy her own age, but after two years of this, she had had enough.
“He was really poor,” she says. “I loved him and cared about him, but he was struggling like me.
“I always ended up paying for dinners and Christmas presents.”
Of her new lifestyle, she says, “It’s not about using a guy for money, but about having that comfortable feeling. I love generosity — because I’m really generous.”
Lydiane vs. Joie
Modal Trigger
LEFT: Lydiane Interdonato, 32. Profession: guidance counselor. What she has to offer: “I’m educated and articulate. I’m a real person. I’m attractive, and pretty well-rounded too.” GOLDIGGER? NO
RIGHT: Joie Tavernise, 35. Profession: owner of JTav Clinical Skin Care. What she has to offer: “I am driven and passionate in all that I do, compassionate, balanced, fun and strive for all the best life has to offer.” GOLDIGGER? NOPhoto: Helayne Seidman (2)
All of this is little consolation to guys frustrated with today’s money-centric dating culture.
So much so that Michael, a 33-year-old bicoastal bachelor in real estate acquisitions, who asked that his last name be withheld for privacy reasons, hired Spindel six months ago to the tune of $100K.
Since then, he’s been set up with five girls whom he says “you could take home to Mom.” He’s now in a “serious” relationship with one of them.
“I’m very satisfied with her vetting methods,” says Michael. “I value a relationship that promotes family values — and she could figure out and find exactly what I wanted.”
Others aren’t so lucky. Ross Den, a 30-year-old entrepreneur and photographer, has a lot to offer — a job, his own apartment and wheels (including a car and a motorcycle). But he has yet to find success in the brutal NYC dating pool.
“‘Do you live in the city?’ is one of the first questions to come up,” says Den, who lives in geographically undesirable Midwood, Brooklyn.
“For a lot of women, it’s a no-no — they’re used to a certain lifestyle.”
Still, he’s guarded but hopeful he’ll eventually find a wholesome gal.
“I believe there are plenty of genuine, kindhearted women who won’t exchange their souls for monetary gain,” he says. “It’s key to be with someone for who they are versus what they have.”
And if that means wading through materialistic muck, then so be it, says Den. “New York has its own rules in many ways.”
Five ways to spot a gold digger
Matchmaker Janis Spindel asks ladies looking to date her high-end male clients to pen a 2,500-word bio and fill out an extensive questionnaire. Here are her five rules for spotting a gold digger:
1. A woman who is obsessed with dating a successful man — and knowing what his salary is.
2. A lack of a job is a telltale sign a woman is looking for someone to support her. “Women must have [jobs],” says Spindel. “It gives them a sense of confidence, allows them to support themselves and keeps them busy during the day.”
3. She complains about Spindel’s fee of $1,000 for a one-on-one meeting.
4. A woman who makes unreasonable demands: “If they tell me they must date a man with a plane, I say ‘Sayonara.’”
5. A lady who asks the wrong questions: “When they ask me how many homes my client has, they’re inquiring for the wrong reasons.”
JOURNAL: TRYING NOT TO GIVE UP
Why am I still open to a new relationship--still in this often difficult and sometimes even painful game?
Do I really need to put up with the potential needs, demands and idiosyncrasies that any woman we find online would put on us, for potentially minimal return on our investment?"
This "online dating" thing is not easy. You need to become adept at reading between the lines. You need to have a sharp ear for what's not said. You need to sift through some "little white lies" and some big ones too...The selection process is harder now than it was at an earlier age, because of the illusions and delusions you have to push through. Give up looking for love, again? Never! I know what intimacy is, and I want it again, in this life, not the next.I wants a loving woman on my arm, in my bed and next to me in the first class or river cruise cabin. Do we want to play it safe, and eventually die in a nursing home, drooling and in diapers, or play big, make love on the high seas, and maybe never have to go down that slippery slope...?
Yes, Virginia, there are many delusional people in this world! But as long as there is hope and goodness and online dating I will keep believing in this particular Santa Claus: the one that will one day deliver another great woman to my door, and have her stay with me right through to the end, in my daily life, in my bed, and always, making me laugh.
It would help if she can cook, since I am hopeless in the kitchen. I nuked a potato in the microwave recently. I didn't know you should only leave it in for about six minutes so I put it in for an hour. I was still clueless, even as the smoke alarm went off. When I opened the microwave door, all I saw sitting here was a tiny black marble. I nuked a potato! Okay, that is not my area of genius. A woman who can laugh at my human failings and foibles will earn my trust and love, and I will do the same for her,
This is a slight generalization, perhaps, but that's how it feels. Whether I've been bright-eyed or gloomy, fat or slender, young(er) or old(er), the ladies have never seemed to love me quite as much as I love them.
That's not to say I haven't spent time with women I've liked or fallen for. I've been more or less surrounded with women since my childhood, having always gotten along more easily and naturally with girls than boys. As you might expect, I've sometimes found myself smitten; a situation considerably more perilous when the person you desire is also your friend. Which is to say, someone with whom you might be wrecking something that's already pretty good.
I have a handful of images frozen in mind of the moments at which I've told people how I truly felt about them. I've become adept at reading the language of rejection: It's most often been the eyes where the answer comes first, while the face stays still. You'd be shocked how easily the thought I really like you as a person but I'm not attracted or interested in dating you can be conveyed with just the flicker of an eyelid.
"Local heterosexual white man dissatisfied with love life." I know, some headlines aren't as grabbing as others. There is at least one way in which I'm not dissatisfied however: my own ability to weather life and love's disappointments, and to never blame the women who reject me in the process.
Perhaps you've heard this story before, of a self-proclaimed "nice guy" who feels miffed by the romantic inattention of a close female friend. But assumptions that the alleged "nice guy" may be making -- feeling aggrieved, maybe even angry, that she couldn't be more open-minded, or see how great a couple they'd be -- fall perilously short of anything describable as "nice."
Vehemently complaining that a woman is dating somebody else instead of you hinges on the assumption that she'd want to date you otherwise. I understand the impulse, even the drive to convince oneself that such a romance could flourish.
And it's true -- friendships can sometimes lead to pretty awesome relationships -- or so I'm told. But if a man is basically complaining that female friends aren't actively seeking to repay their platonic kindness with sex, then let me say, clearly and loudly: that attitude is full of sh*t.
Sometimes, the answer to the question "why don't they love me?" is best given simply: because they don't. The amount of mental exhaustion I've put myself through in dodging this truth is embarrassing in retrospect.
I'd love to end this on a note of some burgeoning optimism. But in truth, I can't. It simply wouldn't feel true to my heart, my state of mind, or my expectations right now.
But I'm buoyed by the knowledge that all things change in time, and that what (or who) waits around the corner could also be a pleasant surprise. It might sound small, but if dime-store optimism is the best I can muster, I'll try to take it, every time. In that way, I'll always be a romantic.
Do I really need to put up with the potential needs, demands and idiosyncrasies that any woman we find online would put on us, for potentially minimal return on our investment?"
This "online dating" thing is not easy. You need to become adept at reading between the lines. You need to have a sharp ear for what's not said. You need to sift through some "little white lies" and some big ones too...The selection process is harder now than it was at an earlier age, because of the illusions and delusions you have to push through. Give up looking for love, again? Never! I know what intimacy is, and I want it again, in this life, not the next.I wants a loving woman on my arm, in my bed and next to me in the first class or river cruise cabin. Do we want to play it safe, and eventually die in a nursing home, drooling and in diapers, or play big, make love on the high seas, and maybe never have to go down that slippery slope...?
Yes, Virginia, there are many delusional people in this world! But as long as there is hope and goodness and online dating I will keep believing in this particular Santa Claus: the one that will one day deliver another great woman to my door, and have her stay with me right through to the end, in my daily life, in my bed, and always, making me laugh.
It would help if she can cook, since I am hopeless in the kitchen. I nuked a potato in the microwave recently. I didn't know you should only leave it in for about six minutes so I put it in for an hour. I was still clueless, even as the smoke alarm went off. When I opened the microwave door, all I saw sitting here was a tiny black marble. I nuked a potato! Okay, that is not my area of genius. A woman who can laugh at my human failings and foibles will earn my trust and love, and I will do the same for her,
This is a slight generalization, perhaps, but that's how it feels. Whether I've been bright-eyed or gloomy, fat or slender, young(er) or old(er), the ladies have never seemed to love me quite as much as I love them.
That's not to say I haven't spent time with women I've liked or fallen for. I've been more or less surrounded with women since my childhood, having always gotten along more easily and naturally with girls than boys. As you might expect, I've sometimes found myself smitten; a situation considerably more perilous when the person you desire is also your friend. Which is to say, someone with whom you might be wrecking something that's already pretty good.
I have a handful of images frozen in mind of the moments at which I've told people how I truly felt about them. I've become adept at reading the language of rejection: It's most often been the eyes where the answer comes first, while the face stays still. You'd be shocked how easily the thought I really like you as a person but I'm not attracted or interested in dating you can be conveyed with just the flicker of an eyelid.
"Local heterosexual white man dissatisfied with love life." I know, some headlines aren't as grabbing as others. There is at least one way in which I'm not dissatisfied however: my own ability to weather life and love's disappointments, and to never blame the women who reject me in the process.
Perhaps you've heard this story before, of a self-proclaimed "nice guy" who feels miffed by the romantic inattention of a close female friend. But assumptions that the alleged "nice guy" may be making -- feeling aggrieved, maybe even angry, that she couldn't be more open-minded, or see how great a couple they'd be -- fall perilously short of anything describable as "nice."
Vehemently complaining that a woman is dating somebody else instead of you hinges on the assumption that she'd want to date you otherwise. I understand the impulse, even the drive to convince oneself that such a romance could flourish.
And it's true -- friendships can sometimes lead to pretty awesome relationships -- or so I'm told. But if a man is basically complaining that female friends aren't actively seeking to repay their platonic kindness with sex, then let me say, clearly and loudly: that attitude is full of sh*t.
Sometimes, the answer to the question "why don't they love me?" is best given simply: because they don't. The amount of mental exhaustion I've put myself through in dodging this truth is embarrassing in retrospect.
I'd love to end this on a note of some burgeoning optimism. But in truth, I can't. It simply wouldn't feel true to my heart, my state of mind, or my expectations right now.
But I'm buoyed by the knowledge that all things change in time, and that what (or who) waits around the corner could also be a pleasant surprise. It might sound small, but if dime-store optimism is the best I can muster, I'll try to take it, every time. In that way, I'll always be a romantic.
DATING: I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER
We tell ourselves things and repeat them until we believe them. You know. I am trapped. My life is over. I am unlovable. I have become invisible.
I suppose that if I told myself the opposite with the same tenacity I would eventually believe it too. Your life is just beginning. Anything is possible. Inside you is everything you need.
After my divorce...it as the first time in more a couple of years that I am living alone again.. And I was pondering where exactly one goes from here.
But how does one go about doing that ? How could I meet people I wouldn't normally come across? How could I gain access into different walks of life?
The answer came to me suddenly. I swallowed. Online dating.
Up until now I had regarded online dating with disdain. I felt it zapped romance out of the equation, extracted serendipity and left you with something clinical and contrived and similar to a work interview.
Not to mention, I had not dated for over 8 years.
Right. So online dating would be the way to stop doing what I had always done, which might, if one follows logic, give me a shot at a different result.
On with it, then.
To keep things simple, I decided to focus on a single site and picked OK Cupid.
I found myself struggling with the most fundamental parts of the questionnaire, such as the ability to distinguish what I liked versus what “we” liked. It occurred to me that defining myself to strangers would be an effective exercise in reconstituting who I was.
After a few days of tentative practice and a slow “waiting to be discovered” approach, I arrived at a notion that took precedence over the hard to get frame of mind I had grown up with. If I waited for people to notice my profile and contact me, the universe of those I could choose from would shrink considerably. I much preferred picking from anyone I wanted, even if it meant risking sometimes not getting a reply.
Another realization: My end game wasn’t finding love. What I yearned for was a new life, a fresh perspective. My criteria would have to change accordingly. Instead of asking myself "Is this person wife material?" I would remind myself to ask "would going out with her be interesting? Fun? Would I learn something?"
I met someone new every day for about a month. Because I was so fed up with being in a state of emotional paralysis. Because I knew that somewhere out there was a world too rich to warrant the delusion that I was finished. But mostly because I quickly learned that everyone was interesting, and that everyone had something to teach me.
I read a girl's profile which sounded less like she was looking for a date, more like she was trying to find religion. "Reach out" she wrote "if you think you have answers". Over tea I told her I had recently learned how futile it was to plan. “We can’t predict what we want, as it assumes we’re not going to change. The future has so many variables we can’t see that the most accurate way to live our life is to go by what would make us happy right now.”
She sat there looking at me. She then told me she had survived a terminal cancer diagnosis 8 years before, and had found out a couple of days ago that it was back. "I don't want chemo again" she said. "What should I do?" I stood and put my arms around her and we held each other there, in the middle of a café, two strangers who had the answers to nothing.
I suppose that if I told myself the opposite with the same tenacity I would eventually believe it too. Your life is just beginning. Anything is possible. Inside you is everything you need.
After my divorce...it as the first time in more a couple of years that I am living alone again.. And I was pondering where exactly one goes from here.
But how does one go about doing that ? How could I meet people I wouldn't normally come across? How could I gain access into different walks of life?
The answer came to me suddenly. I swallowed. Online dating.
Up until now I had regarded online dating with disdain. I felt it zapped romance out of the equation, extracted serendipity and left you with something clinical and contrived and similar to a work interview.
Not to mention, I had not dated for over 8 years.
Right. So online dating would be the way to stop doing what I had always done, which might, if one follows logic, give me a shot at a different result.
On with it, then.
To keep things simple, I decided to focus on a single site and picked OK Cupid.
I found myself struggling with the most fundamental parts of the questionnaire, such as the ability to distinguish what I liked versus what “we” liked. It occurred to me that defining myself to strangers would be an effective exercise in reconstituting who I was.
After a few days of tentative practice and a slow “waiting to be discovered” approach, I arrived at a notion that took precedence over the hard to get frame of mind I had grown up with. If I waited for people to notice my profile and contact me, the universe of those I could choose from would shrink considerably. I much preferred picking from anyone I wanted, even if it meant risking sometimes not getting a reply.
Another realization: My end game wasn’t finding love. What I yearned for was a new life, a fresh perspective. My criteria would have to change accordingly. Instead of asking myself "Is this person wife material?" I would remind myself to ask "would going out with her be interesting? Fun? Would I learn something?"
I met someone new every day for about a month. Because I was so fed up with being in a state of emotional paralysis. Because I knew that somewhere out there was a world too rich to warrant the delusion that I was finished. But mostly because I quickly learned that everyone was interesting, and that everyone had something to teach me.
I read a girl's profile which sounded less like she was looking for a date, more like she was trying to find religion. "Reach out" she wrote "if you think you have answers". Over tea I told her I had recently learned how futile it was to plan. “We can’t predict what we want, as it assumes we’re not going to change. The future has so many variables we can’t see that the most accurate way to live our life is to go by what would make us happy right now.”
She sat there looking at me. She then told me she had survived a terminal cancer diagnosis 8 years before, and had found out a couple of days ago that it was back. "I don't want chemo again" she said. "What should I do?" I stood and put my arms around her and we held each other there, in the middle of a café, two strangers who had the answers to nothing.
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