Dear "The One",
I have been thinking recently about how I will know you are the one. Will the realization start as just a fleeting 'what if' and spread until I am completely infected by the thought of spending eternity with you? Or perhaps it will hit me suddenly like an undeniable tidal wave. Even then, how will I ever be sure? How will I ever know it is not only casual love that I am falling into? I believe that it is possible to love more than once, how will I know when I am more than in love; how will I know when I am in love with YOU. Tonight it hit me, while I was watching Pride and Prejudice...
"You have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love you, and never wish to be parted from you from this day forth"
It doesn't matter when, or how I will know, because I just will. I will feel in my bones. It will be pumping through the blood in my veins. My soul will feel your soul because we are destined for each other. Suddenly, everything else will seen wrong. All other loves will fail to compare. I don't know how I will know. I don't know when I will know. But I will know.
The hardest part might not be knowing, but admitting that I know. I hope that you realize it as quickly as I do; or just the same I realize it as quickly as you. I just want to stare deeply into your eyes, pull you close, and tell you how much I love you. I want to tell you that my heart doesn't beat when you're not around. I want to tell you that you are my match, my soul mate. I want to tell you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you.
I guess I'm getting a little ahead of myself, cause I am obviously not even dating you yet! We have not fallen madly in love yet! I may have not even met you yet! Of course I cannot wait for all of that either; but I REALLY cannot wait for the day I can finally tell you that all of these letters have been written to you. The day I can finally put your name on them. The day that I will know.
Anonymous,
Until Forever I Confess We Shall Be
Friday, March 21, 2014
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR MRS. RIGHT
Dear Mrs. Right,
People say that home is where the heart is, so I guess that means that my real home is in your chest. Yes, I do mean YOUR chest.
In my entire life I have never felt fully at home anywhere. I have had home-like feelings at times and in relation to certain places, but nothing complete. It's like all my life I have lived without my heart, without my home. My conclusion is this: my heart has always, and will always belong to you. My home, where I will belong forever, is with you, in your chest. My heart, is in your heart.
Sometimes I get around people and I feel my heart beat. Or I go somewhere like Chicago and My heart beats. Those people, and those places, let me feel you. I can barely even explain it and I don't know how it is even possible. Maybe it will all make sense when it become crystal clear to me who you are. All I know right now is that you've already got me. You've always had me. You will always have me. I have felt the absence of you my entire life. I have been devoted to finding you; and once I do I will be devoted to only you.
Maybe I am crazy... but a part of me believes that you can feel my heart. Maybe you don't understand it yet, and maybe the day you realize it will be the day you realize I'm the one. Or maybe you'll never feel my heart until I have won yours.
My heart belong to you,
My heart beats only for you
People say that home is where the heart is, so I guess that means that my real home is in your chest. Yes, I do mean YOUR chest.
In my entire life I have never felt fully at home anywhere. I have had home-like feelings at times and in relation to certain places, but nothing complete. It's like all my life I have lived without my heart, without my home. My conclusion is this: my heart has always, and will always belong to you. My home, where I will belong forever, is with you, in your chest. My heart, is in your heart.
Sometimes I get around people and I feel my heart beat. Or I go somewhere like Chicago and My heart beats. Those people, and those places, let me feel you. I can barely even explain it and I don't know how it is even possible. Maybe it will all make sense when it become crystal clear to me who you are. All I know right now is that you've already got me. You've always had me. You will always have me. I have felt the absence of you my entire life. I have been devoted to finding you; and once I do I will be devoted to only you.
Maybe I am crazy... but a part of me believes that you can feel my heart. Maybe you don't understand it yet, and maybe the day you realize it will be the day you realize I'm the one. Or maybe you'll never feel my heart until I have won yours.
My heart belong to you,
My heart beats only for you
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAR MRS RIGHT
Dear Mrs. Right,
I think sometimes, a lot actually, about what its going to be like when you come into my life (Or if you are in my life already)
Will I be instantly taken by you? Will I remember the exact moment when I first laid eyes on you? Will I remember what you were wearing, the smell of your perfume? Will I be able to replay that exact moment in my head for the rest of my life?
Or will you walk into my life without me even knowing? Will you become my best friend before I even realize that we were meant to be together? Will we be in each others lives for years before either of us even thinks about "us"? Maybe we will hate each others guts before we fall in love (I sure hope not!)
Part of me wishes I knew, but the other part is glad that it is a mystery. Waiting, wondering... It drives me crazy but it also gives me something to look forward to. I love my life now, but I honestly dream about you every day. Being single is exciting, but being with you is going to be the biggest adventure of my life!
You are the biggest dream I have. The most spectacular adventure that I can think of. I would say I cannot wait; but the truth is I've been waiting my whole life!
Waiting, as long as it takes,
Your Big Adventure
I think sometimes, a lot actually, about what its going to be like when you come into my life (Or if you are in my life already)
Will I be instantly taken by you? Will I remember the exact moment when I first laid eyes on you? Will I remember what you were wearing, the smell of your perfume? Will I be able to replay that exact moment in my head for the rest of my life?
Or will you walk into my life without me even knowing? Will you become my best friend before I even realize that we were meant to be together? Will we be in each others lives for years before either of us even thinks about "us"? Maybe we will hate each others guts before we fall in love (I sure hope not!)
Part of me wishes I knew, but the other part is glad that it is a mystery. Waiting, wondering... It drives me crazy but it also gives me something to look forward to. I love my life now, but I honestly dream about you every day. Being single is exciting, but being with you is going to be the biggest adventure of my life!
You are the biggest dream I have. The most spectacular adventure that I can think of. I would say I cannot wait; but the truth is I've been waiting my whole life!
Waiting, as long as it takes,
Your Big Adventure
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
I do not believe in wasting my words, and I doing not believe in making promises I cannot keep; but there are some things that I would like to promise...
I can't promise to always be able keep you safe and healthy and to ensure that no harm ever comes to you; but I promise to always defend you, always comfort you, always try.
I can't promise we will never fight; but I promise I will never lay hands on you.
I can't promise we will always be in our "honeymoon" stage; but I promise you I will always try to show you how much I love you.
I can't promise we won't face hard times; but I promise that I will always stand by your side and fight through it.
I can't promise you I won't have bad habits and vices; but I promise I will always put you first.
I can't promise to always communicate well or express my feelings; but I promise to always be honest.
I can't promise to buy you everything you want; but I promise to work hard to always be able to buy you the things that you need
I can't promise that I will remember every anniversary and important date; but I promise to always put thought into the things I buy and do for you.
I can't promise that our relationship will be perfect; but I promise I will always love you.
Forever yours, my love, yours and only yours
LOVE LETTER: DEAR FUTURE EVERYTHING
Dear Future Everything,
One day, one beautiful, wonderful, glorious day, you will be my everything <3 It will be me and you against the world babe, and no one and nothing will ever come between us. That is a wonderful thought!
But I would be a fool to say it is going to be all sunshine and rainbows.
You're gonna have junk, I'm gonna have junk, and we are gonna have junk.
Right now, I'm stronger than I've ever been. And I am confident that I will be even stronger tomorrow. I have come to a place where I am done letting my days run me, I run my days.
I think that I am ready for you to come into my life. I can wait, but I know that where I have gotten to is a place where I can let someone in, where I can let you in. I am confident that no matter what we face we can face it together. When old junk comes up we will get through it together. When new junk comes up we will get through it together.
I cannot wait to say goodnight and still be able to fall asleep with you in my arms.
I cannot wait to wake up and have you be the first thing I see.
I cannot wait to surprise you with flowers on any old day.
I cannot wait for the good times.
But I also (and I realize I will probably eat these words) cannot wait for the bumps in the road. Not because hard times are fun, but because hard times will make us closer and stronger.
I am ready to take on the world with you <3
Until you say I do, and everyday after
Always waiting for you, and always yours
One day, one beautiful, wonderful, glorious day, you will be my everything <3 It will be me and you against the world babe, and no one and nothing will ever come between us. That is a wonderful thought!
But I would be a fool to say it is going to be all sunshine and rainbows.
You're gonna have junk, I'm gonna have junk, and we are gonna have junk.
Right now, I'm stronger than I've ever been. And I am confident that I will be even stronger tomorrow. I have come to a place where I am done letting my days run me, I run my days.
I think that I am ready for you to come into my life. I can wait, but I know that where I have gotten to is a place where I can let someone in, where I can let you in. I am confident that no matter what we face we can face it together. When old junk comes up we will get through it together. When new junk comes up we will get through it together.
I cannot wait to say goodnight and still be able to fall asleep with you in my arms.
I cannot wait to wake up and have you be the first thing I see.
I cannot wait to surprise you with flowers on any old day.
I cannot wait for the good times.
But I also (and I realize I will probably eat these words) cannot wait for the bumps in the road. Not because hard times are fun, but because hard times will make us closer and stronger.
I am ready to take on the world with you <3
Until you say I do, and everyday after
Always waiting for you, and always yours
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to fall in Love with you. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope that you remember a few things...
One day your heart will be the most important thing in the world to me; so please protect it.
You are beautiful! Not just when you believe it, all the time. Inside, outside, nice clothes, or sweat pants- 100% perfect.
All the little things that make you YOU- your weird habits, the silly things you do, all of your secrets- Never change because one day chances are I am gonna adore all of those parts of you.
Don't give up on Love; It will find you when I do.
Never stop chasing your dreams; Never stop doing the things that make you happy.
From who-knows-when until Forever, yours
I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to fall in Love with you. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope that you remember a few things...
One day your heart will be the most important thing in the world to me; so please protect it.
You are beautiful! Not just when you believe it, all the time. Inside, outside, nice clothes, or sweat pants- 100% perfect.
All the little things that make you YOU- your weird habits, the silly things you do, all of your secrets- Never change because one day chances are I am gonna adore all of those parts of you.
Don't give up on Love; It will find you when I do.
Never stop chasing your dreams; Never stop doing the things that make you happy.
From who-knows-when until Forever, yours
PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: TO MY FUTURE FOREVER
To my future forever,
Sometimes It can feel like the sky is falling, like the earth is crumbling. I feel this, I'm sure you've felt this. However, life up to this point has taught me that no matter what the circumstances are joy can still be had.
No matter what storms may come our way I want you to know that I will always be anchored in hope. Hope that will come from within, and hope that will come from you. Quitting would be such an easy option; but I don't want easy, I want to be prepared to take care of you. I am glad for the hardships I go through now because my todays are preparing be for my tomorrows with you.
I am no stranger to hard times, I am no stranger to hard work. And when I find you I don't want to be a stranger to any quality that I can obtain. I thank God for my hard times, because that is when I learn the most. Everyday I do my best to grow and be better than I was the day before. I am not perfect, but I promise you that I will never stop growing. Sometimes I panic, but I never quit; and I will never quit on you.
From now until you are mine,
It is all for you
Sometimes It can feel like the sky is falling, like the earth is crumbling. I feel this, I'm sure you've felt this. However, life up to this point has taught me that no matter what the circumstances are joy can still be had.
No matter what storms may come our way I want you to know that I will always be anchored in hope. Hope that will come from within, and hope that will come from you. Quitting would be such an easy option; but I don't want easy, I want to be prepared to take care of you. I am glad for the hardships I go through now because my todays are preparing be for my tomorrows with you.
I am no stranger to hard times, I am no stranger to hard work. And when I find you I don't want to be a stranger to any quality that I can obtain. I thank God for my hard times, because that is when I learn the most. Everyday I do my best to grow and be better than I was the day before. I am not perfect, but I promise you that I will never stop growing. Sometimes I panic, but I never quit; and I will never quit on you.
From now until you are mine,
It is all for you
PERSONAL...I AM YOUR SOULMATE
Hey there. I am your soul mate, the one person on this earth who's perfect for you in every way. Yes, I exist, and yes, everyone else you've been with is a pale subsitute. We're meant to be together, but we've never met.
You see, there are 6 billion people in the world and you encounter at most about 1,000 people per day, so statistically our paths would cross only once every 16,500 years. if we're going to beat those odds you need to work harder, because so far you've done a spectacular job of messing this up.
Remember when you bought that pack of gum and the clerk asked if you wanted a bag, but you were in a rush so you said no? If you'd waited that extra three seconds you would have missed the next train, making you late for the play, so they wouldn't have let you in the theater until the first scene was over, and I would have entered the lobby--also late--and we'd have gotten to talking. We probably would have just skipped the play and gotten coffee and then...Pow! Fifty years of golden summers at the lake house.
Another example: Remember when you signed up for yoga class? You should have signed up for pottery class. I was taking a pottery class!! How hard is that to figure out? And don't just sign up for a pottery class next time, because I might have moved on to hip-hop cardio. I can't tell you exactly where I'll be because if you're really my soul mate you'll just know. Please just get it right!
I guess what I am saying is, next time you think about going to the museum today instead of tomorrow when I'll be there, ask yourself: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Are you going to take the bus or are you going to walk? If you do walk and it's raining, how are you going to see me under my umbrella, unless I don't have one and you share yours, or I share mine and that's how we meet? So remember: Never leave the house without an umbrella...or with one. It's your choice. I think I explained pretty clearly what's at stake.
Are you reading this at a book store? I'm right behind you. Turn around!
Am I still there?
Gosh, you're a slow reader.
Point is, hanging over every decision you make, however small, is the sword of our loneliness. I am out there. Find me. But please hurry. I know we're meant to be together for eternity, but I can't wait forever.
You see, there are 6 billion people in the world and you encounter at most about 1,000 people per day, so statistically our paths would cross only once every 16,500 years. if we're going to beat those odds you need to work harder, because so far you've done a spectacular job of messing this up.
Remember when you bought that pack of gum and the clerk asked if you wanted a bag, but you were in a rush so you said no? If you'd waited that extra three seconds you would have missed the next train, making you late for the play, so they wouldn't have let you in the theater until the first scene was over, and I would have entered the lobby--also late--and we'd have gotten to talking. We probably would have just skipped the play and gotten coffee and then...Pow! Fifty years of golden summers at the lake house.
Another example: Remember when you signed up for yoga class? You should have signed up for pottery class. I was taking a pottery class!! How hard is that to figure out? And don't just sign up for a pottery class next time, because I might have moved on to hip-hop cardio. I can't tell you exactly where I'll be because if you're really my soul mate you'll just know. Please just get it right!
I guess what I am saying is, next time you think about going to the museum today instead of tomorrow when I'll be there, ask yourself: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Are you going to take the bus or are you going to walk? If you do walk and it's raining, how are you going to see me under my umbrella, unless I don't have one and you share yours, or I share mine and that's how we meet? So remember: Never leave the house without an umbrella...or with one. It's your choice. I think I explained pretty clearly what's at stake.
Are you reading this at a book store? I'm right behind you. Turn around!
Am I still there?
Gosh, you're a slow reader.
Point is, hanging over every decision you make, however small, is the sword of our loneliness. I am out there. Find me. But please hurry. I know we're meant to be together for eternity, but I can't wait forever.
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
Every moment without you I am missing you. Every kiss, every caress, every word. My heart plays havoc with my tortured soul.The tears want to spell out my vulnerability. The pain wants to brand itself in my mind. The song my spirit sang- on pause.Needing so bad to hear I Love You, missing you. Needing to be held in your arms, wanting you. Needing to feel your kiss upon me, loving you.I need you now more than ever before. You set my soul at ease. Let me know that everything is OK. I just want to top...Missing you. When the Sun rises in the West...I will stop loving you.When the Ocean blue is drained...I will stop loving you. When the Earth stops spinning...I will stop loving you.When the Ocean freezes over...I will stop loving you. Until those things should ever happen, my love for you will be so true,Even when my heart has beat its last...I will keep on LOVING you!! When I gaze deep into you beautiful eyes,all I can see is the bright starry skies.The twinkle in your eyes was a gift from up above,I am telling you this with my affectionate love. When you stare at me with those beautiful eyes,I can see all the great passion you have for me.I can promise that our love and devotion will never die,because when I look into your eyes that is all I see.Your beautiful eyes are so deep,the way you gaze at me with such passion.While I lie in bed at night, it is hard to sleep,because all I can do is think of you.You are on my mind night and day,the thoughts of you are wonderfully right.I only have one more thing to say, I feel your eyes are watching me every night. Your beautiful eyes are so hypnotizing,no wonder why I feel in love with you.I feel our love rising and rising,I tell you this because, I am true.I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES.....
Every moment without you I am missing you. Every kiss, every caress, every word. My heart plays havoc with my tortured soul.The tears want to spell out my vulnerability. The pain wants to brand itself in my mind. The song my spirit sang- on pause.Needing so bad to hear I Love You, missing you. Needing to be held in your arms, wanting you. Needing to feel your kiss upon me, loving you.I need you now more than ever before. You set my soul at ease. Let me know that everything is OK. I just want to top...Missing you. When the Sun rises in the West...I will stop loving you.When the Ocean blue is drained...I will stop loving you. When the Earth stops spinning...I will stop loving you.When the Ocean freezes over...I will stop loving you. Until those things should ever happen, my love for you will be so true,Even when my heart has beat its last...I will keep on LOVING you!! When I gaze deep into you beautiful eyes,all I can see is the bright starry skies.The twinkle in your eyes was a gift from up above,I am telling you this with my affectionate love. When you stare at me with those beautiful eyes,I can see all the great passion you have for me.I can promise that our love and devotion will never die,because when I look into your eyes that is all I see.Your beautiful eyes are so deep,the way you gaze at me with such passion.While I lie in bed at night, it is hard to sleep,because all I can do is think of you.You are on my mind night and day,the thoughts of you are wonderfully right.I only have one more thing to say, I feel your eyes are watching me every night. Your beautiful eyes are so hypnotizing,no wonder why I feel in love with you.I feel our love rising and rising,I tell you this because, I am true.I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES.....
Thursday, March 20, 2014
LOVE LETTER; DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate,
Come into my heart.Let me be your refuge. Take solace in my arms. Let me be your peace. I will calm your nerves and share your pain. I will hold your hand and walk by your side. Share in my love make it yours. Share in my life make it ours, I can't seem to put in words..the things I want to say.So I write them in these letters with the hope that one day you will know in your heart how I feel and that I care. You have found a place in my heart and you'll always be there. How could I have known you'd make me feel this way. So wonderful and sweet you are...sometimes I forget what to say. I love to hear your voice My love, you are so special to me.This lady God gave to me. Precious as any will ever be.EVERYTIME, I look into your eyes I see my life standing before me, EVERYTIME, I see your face I can't imagine my life without you, I talk to you it takes my breath away, And I know how lucky I am to have a beautiful, wonderful, funny, smart, caring, compassionate, and loving girl like you that loves me. There are no words to describe how much I love you, But everyday I think about us sharing our life together someday. EVERYTIME, We kiss I can't imagine myself without your sweet lips,EVERYTIME, I see you cry,I will wipe your tears away, Because I see myself hurting inside,EVERYTIME, I know I love you, And would give my life and my very last breath so you wouldn't feel an ounce of pain until the day I die. EVERYTIME, I know it will be forever, EVERYTIME...Ah, this crazy desire of giving a kiss on your lips.This almost impossible desire that consumes me inside.This anxiety to be with you To meet you just for a moment and be able to see your smile. Feel your hug. Feel your smell. Be able to touch you and feel you exist and know you are not just a dream. Be able to look in your eyes. Ah, this crazy desire To see you, just, for a moment, To be able to show you what I feel, And to be able to be by your side... Just to look at you a little and tell you how much... I love you
Come into my heart.Let me be your refuge. Take solace in my arms. Let me be your peace. I will calm your nerves and share your pain. I will hold your hand and walk by your side. Share in my love make it yours. Share in my life make it ours, I can't seem to put in words..the things I want to say.So I write them in these letters with the hope that one day you will know in your heart how I feel and that I care. You have found a place in my heart and you'll always be there. How could I have known you'd make me feel this way. So wonderful and sweet you are...sometimes I forget what to say. I love to hear your voice My love, you are so special to me.This lady God gave to me. Precious as any will ever be.EVERYTIME, I look into your eyes I see my life standing before me, EVERYTIME, I see your face I can't imagine my life without you, I talk to you it takes my breath away, And I know how lucky I am to have a beautiful, wonderful, funny, smart, caring, compassionate, and loving girl like you that loves me. There are no words to describe how much I love you, But everyday I think about us sharing our life together someday. EVERYTIME, We kiss I can't imagine myself without your sweet lips,EVERYTIME, I see you cry,I will wipe your tears away, Because I see myself hurting inside,EVERYTIME, I know I love you, And would give my life and my very last breath so you wouldn't feel an ounce of pain until the day I die. EVERYTIME, I know it will be forever, EVERYTIME...Ah, this crazy desire of giving a kiss on your lips.This almost impossible desire that consumes me inside.This anxiety to be with you To meet you just for a moment and be able to see your smile. Feel your hug. Feel your smell. Be able to touch you and feel you exist and know you are not just a dream. Be able to look in your eyes. Ah, this crazy desire To see you, just, for a moment, To be able to show you what I feel, And to be able to be by your side... Just to look at you a little and tell you how much... I love you
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
LOVE LETTER: DEAR SOULMATE
Dear Soulmate
Two lips meeting one another in the stream. Exchanging words no one could ever interpret.They are wet and dry, depending on how they feel. So is the encounter of your lips with mine. We start a new day with a passionate kiss.Your lips embracing mine with love in our hearts.Mouth to mouth...your tongue caressing mine. Holding one another like a magnet. The kiss of love we'll never resist like the kiss of Angel, a heavenly bliss. Morning and night our lips never miss...a priceless kiss that makes our hearts freeze. A kiss we have is not a stolen kiss. A precious gift that God planted on our lips. Our first kiss, a memorable one indeed. Although I sneezed...it's a summer breeze. When we kiss, we also like to breathe. A burning sensation we always feel within. From mouth to mouth we resuscitate lost feelings. Through our lips we make love reign supreme. Our kiss is everywhere our lips fit. Kiss of love...touching wherever it wishes. Till eternity will the world watch the scene as we celebrate our love with a holy kiss.When I look at you I smile inwardly and the warmth touches my soul in a sizzling welcome of love, infinite --in its depths, its joy. When I look at you, I rejoice and the joyful feeling sends waves of love surging through my body in a rapturous welcoming of our being in love's ecstasy -- endlessly.
Two lips meeting one another in the stream. Exchanging words no one could ever interpret.They are wet and dry, depending on how they feel. So is the encounter of your lips with mine. We start a new day with a passionate kiss.Your lips embracing mine with love in our hearts.Mouth to mouth...your tongue caressing mine. Holding one another like a magnet. The kiss of love we'll never resist like the kiss of Angel, a heavenly bliss. Morning and night our lips never miss...a priceless kiss that makes our hearts freeze. A kiss we have is not a stolen kiss. A precious gift that God planted on our lips. Our first kiss, a memorable one indeed. Although I sneezed...it's a summer breeze. When we kiss, we also like to breathe. A burning sensation we always feel within. From mouth to mouth we resuscitate lost feelings. Through our lips we make love reign supreme. Our kiss is everywhere our lips fit. Kiss of love...touching wherever it wishes. Till eternity will the world watch the scene as we celebrate our love with a holy kiss.When I look at you I smile inwardly and the warmth touches my soul in a sizzling welcome of love, infinite --in its depths, its joy. When I look at you, I rejoice and the joyful feeling sends waves of love surging through my body in a rapturous welcoming of our being in love's ecstasy -- endlessly.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
DATING: MUST LOVE DOGS...GREATEST QUOTE
You know what? Can we just skip all the small talk? You know, like, who are you? Who am I? What are we doing here together? I have this theory that when you first meet somebody... .that's the time when you have to be totally honest... ...because you have nothing to lose. Five, 10 years down the road, gets a lot harder. You can't say one day, "Happy anniversary, this is me." It doesn't work that way. This is it. We'll never see each other as clearly and as nakedly as we do in this moment. Right now. This instant. Here's my story. Here's what you need to know. I'm divorced, and I had my heart broken badly... by a woman that I really loved, but I think your heart grows back bigger. You know? Once you've got the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way. I think that's the function of all this pain and heartache that we all go through. You gotta go through that to come out to a better place. And that's how I see it. What about you? Why is a dazzling woman like you single? You can do it. You can just tell the truth. If you know the truth. What have we got to lose?
After the dinner we shake hands, "good night," never see each other again.
After the dinner we shake hands, "good night," never see each other again.
PERSONAL/ DATING: THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
Yesterday, I was instant messaging an old friend. Maria’s a delightful person whom I’ve known since early childhood – attractive, athletic, intelligent, funny, successful, and the mother of two beautiful children. She also told me that she’s getting divorced. Her husband cheated on her multiple times – and Maria’s rightfully furious. She’s questioning the meaning of her entire relationship. She’s questioning how she’s ever going to find love again in the future. Most of all, she’s questioning her own judgment, which is the hardest thing to do when you pride yourself on being intelligent and rational.
From what little I learned about Maria and her husband, it seemed clear that she willfully ignored his selfish, narcissistic tendencies because of what came with the rest of the package – cute, smart, successful, etc...I did the same thing in my marriage.So how do you know is someone is good or bad?
I saw this movie...“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”, and it really got me to thinking:If you had EVERYTHING taken away from you – your body, your job, your whole self-definition – what would you be left with?
You’d be left with your mind.
You’d be left with your heart.
You’d be left with your spirit.
You’d be left with your kindness.
You’d be left with your generosity.
You’d be left with your sense of humor.
Strip away your looks, your home, your career, your money and you’d be left with everything that’s on the INSIDE. The person who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. So if Maria and I wants to know where we went wrong in choosing our partner …The answer is was right here in front of us. We've been investing in the least important qualities.
Looks come and go. Jobs come and go.Money comes and goes What lasts forever is CHARACTER.
I’ve have dated younger women, smarter women, more successful women, and so on… but I never met a BETTER than the next woman who will be my wife. If I were hit by a bus future...i know the next woman I will be with will be push me around in a wheelchair for the next 40 years. That’s what I mean by character.
There are no shortage of impressive men out there who make you tingle every time you think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they don’t put YOU first.
So the next time you’re dating a guy, don’t get too sucked in by his charm or his wit or his looks or his money…Instead, learn to appreciate the guy who does what he says, who says what he means, who makes it clear that you’re a priority to him.After all, the guy who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. Cut him loose and choose the man who loves you for what’s INSIDE. Because what’s inside never goes away.
From what little I learned about Maria and her husband, it seemed clear that she willfully ignored his selfish, narcissistic tendencies because of what came with the rest of the package – cute, smart, successful, etc...I did the same thing in my marriage.So how do you know is someone is good or bad?
I saw this movie...“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”, and it really got me to thinking:If you had EVERYTHING taken away from you – your body, your job, your whole self-definition – what would you be left with?
You’d be left with your mind.
You’d be left with your heart.
You’d be left with your spirit.
You’d be left with your kindness.
You’d be left with your generosity.
You’d be left with your sense of humor.
Strip away your looks, your home, your career, your money and you’d be left with everything that’s on the INSIDE. The person who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. So if Maria and I wants to know where we went wrong in choosing our partner …The answer is was right here in front of us. We've been investing in the least important qualities.
Looks come and go. Jobs come and go.Money comes and goes What lasts forever is CHARACTER.
I’ve have dated younger women, smarter women, more successful women, and so on… but I never met a BETTER than the next woman who will be my wife. If I were hit by a bus future...i know the next woman I will be with will be push me around in a wheelchair for the next 40 years. That’s what I mean by character.
There are no shortage of impressive men out there who make you tingle every time you think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they don’t put YOU first.
So the next time you’re dating a guy, don’t get too sucked in by his charm or his wit or his looks or his money…Instead, learn to appreciate the guy who does what he says, who says what he means, who makes it clear that you’re a priority to him.After all, the guy who doesn’t prioritize you now is NEVER going to prioritize you. Cut him loose and choose the man who loves you for what’s INSIDE. Because what’s inside never goes away.
Monday, March 17, 2014
ARTICLE:A Second Embrace, With Hearts and Eyes Open By MARY ELIZABETH WILLIAMS
I looked across the restaurant table at my date, an attractive brown-eyed man with two young children and a broken marriage, as he recounted his romantic history.
“I used to think the relationship part of my life was settled and I never had to worry about it,” he told me. “Now I think, if you love someone, you have to take it one day at a time. And you have to work at it one day at a time.” There was a hopeful gleam in his eye.
I smiled and thought, “I could be in a relationship with a man like this.” In fact, I knew I could. Reader, I had married him. On this night, long after we had thrown in the towel on us, here we were again, crawling back into the ring. This time, though, it would be different. We just never imagined how different it would become, or how quickly.
Our unraveling had not been a swift, decisive catastrophe but a smaller series of no less destructive forces. We came apart the way many couples do: via the gradual realization that we were unhappy, and the inescapable conclusion that our relationship was not a refuge from our unhappiness but a cause of it. We were two nice people who had been deeply in love but who found themselves, nearly 20 years later, in love no more.
Neither of us wanted to spend the next 40 years going on as we had, seemingly safe within an institution but deprived of its most essential nutrient. If we had not had children, it would have been simple. We no doubt would have disappeared amicably but entirely from each other’s lives. But we did have children.
As my friend Linda, whose husband left her while she was pregnant, once told me: “No matter what, it’s a lifetime relationship. I’ll be at my son’s wedding and my ex will be there.”
Likewise for us, there was never any question that the good will we had once shared, combined with our love for our daughters, was stronger than any current disappointment we could harbor toward each other. We sat together at school plays and parent-teacher conferences. We shared holidays and birthdays. We even took another apartment in the same building, to make the situation easier for the children. After a while, the wounds of the breakup healed, and a new friendship was formed, a bonding unique to the front lines of parenthood.
The end of a long marriage, especially a marriage with children, will shake your world to its foundation. If you’re lucky, you’ll eventually come out of it a little braver and wiser. It wasn’t long after the split that I realized I liked the new person inside of me that this heartbreak was forging.
What I hadn’t expected was that I’d like the person he was becoming, too. Then one day he said something funny and I laughed, and then he looked at me with a directness I had never seen before and said, “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m flirting with you.”
I’ve always been a sucker for a man with a smooth line. So I flirted back. And when he asked me to dinner, I said yes.
A short time later I strolled through a museum with my friend Lily, a woman who had recently reconciled with her husband after a yearlong separation. “How did you know?” I asked her. “How did you believe again, after everything you’d been through?”
“He said what I needed to hear,” she said, “even though I didn’t know what I needed to hear until he said it. You’ll see.”
Soon after that I went on a date with the father of my children, and over a plate of plantains, I did see.
Our reunion, low key and unmarked by flying rice though it was, prompted a variety of responses among our friends and family. There were enthusiastic cheers from the romantics, and there was skepticism and concern from others, who remembered all the miserable details of our unraveling. But falling in love again after a breakup is no simple matter of retreat. We are not the people we were when we met two decades before, and we had no desire to relive a marriage that had, to the best of both our recent memories, failed unequivocally.
Yet if we had taken the leap of faith it takes to end a long-term relationship, surely, we figured, we could muster the even greater trust it would take to open our hearts again. Besides, it was nice being with a man whose emotional baggage from his crazy ex I could really understand. And my children were happy about Mom’s new man.
What ensued that summer we began again was a blissful period of lazy days and tender nights. Then it took a severe swerve. On Aug. 10, I had updated my Facebook status to read, “Best summer ever.” On Aug. 11, I learned I had malignant melanoma.
As I lay in a hospital a few nights later, doped to the gills, bleeding from three surgical sites and hoping I was clear of cancer, he and I held hands and watched “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” on TV.
“I’m sorry about all this,” I said groggily, “because now you have to stick with me. Otherwise all our friends will think you’re Newt Gingrich.”
“I see you had this planned all along,” he said. “Well played.” But later, when I told him I knew this wasn’t the reunion he’d had in mind, he just chuckled and said, “You’re not getting rid of me that easily this time.”
As I recovered through the bleak period that followed, through a grim rediagnosis that left me with a prognosis of mere months to live and then into a clinical trial that shocked us by eradicating my disease entirely, he cooked dinners and did laundry. He arranged playdates for the children and read them stories. He picked up prescriptions and cleaned up enough blood to make Eli Roth shudder. He left me awed at a strength in him I had never seen before. I had never had to.
Our relationship already had attained a bittersweet edge by virtue of its status as a second go-round, but there’s nothing like journeying through the wringer together to take that whole skipping-through-the-daisies aspect out of your dates. Although our experience has been far from sexy, it has been peculiarly romantic.
Nobody writes songs about sitting on the edge of the tub while a man applies topical antibiotics to your oozing skin graft. There are no poetic odes to women with gaping scars, no sonnets to men who may be wearing the same shirt for the third day in a row.
But maybe there should be, because everything I thought I knew about love at 24 seems pretty absurd now. I didn’t know then that a wonderful relationship would one day become unsustainable. I couldn’t have imagined that later on, strangely enough, it would become a new kind of wonderful.
The wedding ring I so optimistically slipped onto my finger long ago, the same one I despondently removed many years later, is now permanently retired. But I wear a small moonstone on my hand, the symbol of hope. Hope for healing in all its forms.
Neither of us sees the world in guarantees anymore. We recognize them as the comforting fictions they are. We accept that you can’t always keep the promises you made when you were barely above drinking age. You can’t know how you will change, or what life will throw at you.
Having our marriage fall apart and having disease come in and try very hard to kill me did away with our cozy assumptions that the future looks just like the past, but with more laugh lines. But he and I have learned, because we have had to, the difference between the illusion of security and the liberating joy of the present, between obligation and choice.
And choice, terrifying as it can be, is so much better. We had to leave each other to discover that: to understand what it really means to decide to be with a person, one day at a time, however many days there may be. Love isn’t a fortress. It isn’t a locked room. It’s full of doors and windows and escape hatches, and they’re not scary. They’re how, to paraphrase Leonard Cohen, the light gets in.
A few weeks ago, after an exhausting round of tests and doctor appointments, we flopped together into bed, almost too tired to speak. We watched the ceiling fan spin, lulled by its hypnotic rhythm, until at last he spoke just six words: “I’m glad I didn’t lose you.”
I looked into semidarkness at the man I love, the man I once left, and said, “I’m glad I didn’t lose you, too.”
“I used to think the relationship part of my life was settled and I never had to worry about it,” he told me. “Now I think, if you love someone, you have to take it one day at a time. And you have to work at it one day at a time.” There was a hopeful gleam in his eye.
I smiled and thought, “I could be in a relationship with a man like this.” In fact, I knew I could. Reader, I had married him. On this night, long after we had thrown in the towel on us, here we were again, crawling back into the ring. This time, though, it would be different. We just never imagined how different it would become, or how quickly.
Our unraveling had not been a swift, decisive catastrophe but a smaller series of no less destructive forces. We came apart the way many couples do: via the gradual realization that we were unhappy, and the inescapable conclusion that our relationship was not a refuge from our unhappiness but a cause of it. We were two nice people who had been deeply in love but who found themselves, nearly 20 years later, in love no more.
Neither of us wanted to spend the next 40 years going on as we had, seemingly safe within an institution but deprived of its most essential nutrient. If we had not had children, it would have been simple. We no doubt would have disappeared amicably but entirely from each other’s lives. But we did have children.
As my friend Linda, whose husband left her while she was pregnant, once told me: “No matter what, it’s a lifetime relationship. I’ll be at my son’s wedding and my ex will be there.”
Likewise for us, there was never any question that the good will we had once shared, combined with our love for our daughters, was stronger than any current disappointment we could harbor toward each other. We sat together at school plays and parent-teacher conferences. We shared holidays and birthdays. We even took another apartment in the same building, to make the situation easier for the children. After a while, the wounds of the breakup healed, and a new friendship was formed, a bonding unique to the front lines of parenthood.
The end of a long marriage, especially a marriage with children, will shake your world to its foundation. If you’re lucky, you’ll eventually come out of it a little braver and wiser. It wasn’t long after the split that I realized I liked the new person inside of me that this heartbreak was forging.
What I hadn’t expected was that I’d like the person he was becoming, too. Then one day he said something funny and I laughed, and then he looked at me with a directness I had never seen before and said, “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m flirting with you.”
I’ve always been a sucker for a man with a smooth line. So I flirted back. And when he asked me to dinner, I said yes.
A short time later I strolled through a museum with my friend Lily, a woman who had recently reconciled with her husband after a yearlong separation. “How did you know?” I asked her. “How did you believe again, after everything you’d been through?”
“He said what I needed to hear,” she said, “even though I didn’t know what I needed to hear until he said it. You’ll see.”
Soon after that I went on a date with the father of my children, and over a plate of plantains, I did see.
Our reunion, low key and unmarked by flying rice though it was, prompted a variety of responses among our friends and family. There were enthusiastic cheers from the romantics, and there was skepticism and concern from others, who remembered all the miserable details of our unraveling. But falling in love again after a breakup is no simple matter of retreat. We are not the people we were when we met two decades before, and we had no desire to relive a marriage that had, to the best of both our recent memories, failed unequivocally.
Yet if we had taken the leap of faith it takes to end a long-term relationship, surely, we figured, we could muster the even greater trust it would take to open our hearts again. Besides, it was nice being with a man whose emotional baggage from his crazy ex I could really understand. And my children were happy about Mom’s new man.
What ensued that summer we began again was a blissful period of lazy days and tender nights. Then it took a severe swerve. On Aug. 10, I had updated my Facebook status to read, “Best summer ever.” On Aug. 11, I learned I had malignant melanoma.
As I lay in a hospital a few nights later, doped to the gills, bleeding from three surgical sites and hoping I was clear of cancer, he and I held hands and watched “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” on TV.
“I’m sorry about all this,” I said groggily, “because now you have to stick with me. Otherwise all our friends will think you’re Newt Gingrich.”
“I see you had this planned all along,” he said. “Well played.” But later, when I told him I knew this wasn’t the reunion he’d had in mind, he just chuckled and said, “You’re not getting rid of me that easily this time.”
As I recovered through the bleak period that followed, through a grim rediagnosis that left me with a prognosis of mere months to live and then into a clinical trial that shocked us by eradicating my disease entirely, he cooked dinners and did laundry. He arranged playdates for the children and read them stories. He picked up prescriptions and cleaned up enough blood to make Eli Roth shudder. He left me awed at a strength in him I had never seen before. I had never had to.
Our relationship already had attained a bittersweet edge by virtue of its status as a second go-round, but there’s nothing like journeying through the wringer together to take that whole skipping-through-the-daisies aspect out of your dates. Although our experience has been far from sexy, it has been peculiarly romantic.
Nobody writes songs about sitting on the edge of the tub while a man applies topical antibiotics to your oozing skin graft. There are no poetic odes to women with gaping scars, no sonnets to men who may be wearing the same shirt for the third day in a row.
But maybe there should be, because everything I thought I knew about love at 24 seems pretty absurd now. I didn’t know then that a wonderful relationship would one day become unsustainable. I couldn’t have imagined that later on, strangely enough, it would become a new kind of wonderful.
The wedding ring I so optimistically slipped onto my finger long ago, the same one I despondently removed many years later, is now permanently retired. But I wear a small moonstone on my hand, the symbol of hope. Hope for healing in all its forms.
Neither of us sees the world in guarantees anymore. We recognize them as the comforting fictions they are. We accept that you can’t always keep the promises you made when you were barely above drinking age. You can’t know how you will change, or what life will throw at you.
Having our marriage fall apart and having disease come in and try very hard to kill me did away with our cozy assumptions that the future looks just like the past, but with more laugh lines. But he and I have learned, because we have had to, the difference between the illusion of security and the liberating joy of the present, between obligation and choice.
And choice, terrifying as it can be, is so much better. We had to leave each other to discover that: to understand what it really means to decide to be with a person, one day at a time, however many days there may be. Love isn’t a fortress. It isn’t a locked room. It’s full of doors and windows and escape hatches, and they’re not scary. They’re how, to paraphrase Leonard Cohen, the light gets in.
A few weeks ago, after an exhausting round of tests and doctor appointments, we flopped together into bed, almost too tired to speak. We watched the ceiling fan spin, lulled by its hypnotic rhythm, until at last he spoke just six words: “I’m glad I didn’t lose you.”
I looked into semidarkness at the man I love, the man I once left, and said, “I’m glad I didn’t lose you, too.”
Saturday, March 15, 2014
DATING: FINDING A QUALITY WOMAN
One thing is for sure....dating these days can be extremely draining....especially for us single man. Speaking from a single male perspective, I find it extremely difficult to keep going on and on and on...meeting, dating, becoming interested, only to find myself disappointed, frustrated and back to square one.
As a heterosexual man, with standards, I think that it is a shame that it's so difficult to find a good, decent woman to fall in love with! I like to think that I am a good catch! I'm educated, close to my family, I work, no children, a doctor, I have my own house, car, and needless to say....I think i'm attractive :)....so really, I can't understand why dating has become such a task for me! Not saying that I'm perfect, because I am flawed just like the rest, but I promise you, my good qualities out weigh the bad.
There must be good QUALITY and ATTRACTIVE women out there! Why must we have such a hard time finding QUALITY women??? If I knew the answer to that, I would be a billionaire and off in a villa in Tahiti right this moment!
Now, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a hopeless romantic, because regrettably I am. I can't help it, I just love LOVE! I love to see people in love and in healthy relationships. Oddly, it gives me hope. Sure, sometimes I get around others who have seemed to find their love or they are married and seem to be so happy and I may feel a brief moment of saddness that I am not able to experience that feeling, but at the end of the day, I am glad that someone I care about is able to experience what so many of us single have yet to experience or experience again. I refuse to be a hater...I think it's bad business for me to be jealous of someone else's happiness and love.....just for fear that I may mess up my "love karma".
I'm sure some of you ladies who are feeling the same way I am would agree that dating should not be this hard!! I simply find it exhausting to be out there on the dating scene when it seems that the pickings of good women are slim to none. I don't know about you, but I AM ABSOLUTELY TIRED OF meeting women who can't bring anything to the table but a headache and confusion! I'm tired of scraping the bottom of the barrel hoping to find my queen of hearts!
What's a guy to do? The people will often say "Don't look for her, let her find you", "Pray about it and God will send your one", or my favorite "Your time is coming".... (mind you, doesn't it seem that always comes from your guys that are already married or in long-term relationships....smh lol). I know they mean well, but it is so easy for them to forget how being single and out here dating these days feels when they have lucked up to get the love they have been waiting for. To tell you the truth...let me luck and find a woman, I will forget how it feels too! So who can blame them? I can't! But the fact is, you feel some kinda way when someone who isn't in your shoes at that moment is telling you how the shoe feels.
Woman come a dime a dozen, but a quality woman is like finding a needle in a hay stack. I don't believe that all women are bad...I KNOW there are still some good women out there. The challenge is....not letting the dating scene exhaust you to the point of frustration. I teeter on this all the time. I can't tell you how frustrated I get when I meet a woman who has no concept of what it means to be a WOMAN. She isn't working, she's out in the club poppin' bottles every week, she staying at home still with her parents, etc and she feels it's okay to piggy-back on what you have. If it isn't that, then there's "Ms. Right Now"....the one who has no interest in genuinely being involved, she just wants your goodies and willing to do and say whatever she needs in order to make it happen.
My quest to find Ms. Right has become such an exhausting ordeal, I even wonder if it is meant for me to encounter that "enchanting love experience". I don't know....but I do know that eventually, something has got to give and get better....it sure can't get no worse!
As a heterosexual man, with standards, I think that it is a shame that it's so difficult to find a good, decent woman to fall in love with! I like to think that I am a good catch! I'm educated, close to my family, I work, no children, a doctor, I have my own house, car, and needless to say....I think i'm attractive :)....so really, I can't understand why dating has become such a task for me! Not saying that I'm perfect, because I am flawed just like the rest, but I promise you, my good qualities out weigh the bad.
There must be good QUALITY and ATTRACTIVE women out there! Why must we have such a hard time finding QUALITY women??? If I knew the answer to that, I would be a billionaire and off in a villa in Tahiti right this moment!
Now, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a hopeless romantic, because regrettably I am. I can't help it, I just love LOVE! I love to see people in love and in healthy relationships. Oddly, it gives me hope. Sure, sometimes I get around others who have seemed to find their love or they are married and seem to be so happy and I may feel a brief moment of saddness that I am not able to experience that feeling, but at the end of the day, I am glad that someone I care about is able to experience what so many of us single have yet to experience or experience again. I refuse to be a hater...I think it's bad business for me to be jealous of someone else's happiness and love.....just for fear that I may mess up my "love karma".
I'm sure some of you ladies who are feeling the same way I am would agree that dating should not be this hard!! I simply find it exhausting to be out there on the dating scene when it seems that the pickings of good women are slim to none. I don't know about you, but I AM ABSOLUTELY TIRED OF meeting women who can't bring anything to the table but a headache and confusion! I'm tired of scraping the bottom of the barrel hoping to find my queen of hearts!
What's a guy to do? The people will often say "Don't look for her, let her find you", "Pray about it and God will send your one", or my favorite "Your time is coming".... (mind you, doesn't it seem that always comes from your guys that are already married or in long-term relationships....smh lol). I know they mean well, but it is so easy for them to forget how being single and out here dating these days feels when they have lucked up to get the love they have been waiting for. To tell you the truth...let me luck and find a woman, I will forget how it feels too! So who can blame them? I can't! But the fact is, you feel some kinda way when someone who isn't in your shoes at that moment is telling you how the shoe feels.
Woman come a dime a dozen, but a quality woman is like finding a needle in a hay stack. I don't believe that all women are bad...I KNOW there are still some good women out there. The challenge is....not letting the dating scene exhaust you to the point of frustration. I teeter on this all the time. I can't tell you how frustrated I get when I meet a woman who has no concept of what it means to be a WOMAN. She isn't working, she's out in the club poppin' bottles every week, she staying at home still with her parents, etc and she feels it's okay to piggy-back on what you have. If it isn't that, then there's "Ms. Right Now"....the one who has no interest in genuinely being involved, she just wants your goodies and willing to do and say whatever she needs in order to make it happen.
My quest to find Ms. Right has become such an exhausting ordeal, I even wonder if it is meant for me to encounter that "enchanting love experience". I don't know....but I do know that eventually, something has got to give and get better....it sure can't get no worse!
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