I met god the other day.
I know what you’re thinking. How the hell did you know it was god?
Well, I’ll explain as we go along, but basically he convinced me by having all, and I do mean ALL, the answers. Every question I flung at him he batted back with a plausible and satisfactory answer. In the end, it was easier to accept that he was god than otherwise.
It all started on Starbuck Got myself a seat..sat down with my coffee, reading the paper and in he walks.
What did he look like?
Well not what you might have expected that’s for sure. He was about 30, wearing a pair of jeans and a “hobgoblin” tee shirt. Definitely casual. Looked like he could have been a social worker
‘Anyone sitting here?’ he said.
‘Help yourself’ I replied.
Sits down, relaxes, I ignore and back to the reading
‘Can I ask you a question?’
Fighting to restrain my left eyebrow I replied ‘Yes’ in a tone which was intended to convey that I might not mind one question, and possibly a supplementary, but I really wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. ..
‘Why don’t you believe in god?’
The Bastard!
I love this kind of conversation and can rabbit on for hours about the nonsense of theist beliefs. But I have to be in the mood! It’s like when a Jehova’s witness knocks on your door 20 minutes before you’re due to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Much as you’d really love to stay… You can’t even begin the fun
But then I thought ‘Odd! How is this perfect stranger so obviously confident – and correct – about my atheism?’ If I’d been driving my car, it wouldn’t have been such a mystery. I’ve got the Darwin fish on the back of mine – the antidote to that twee christian fish you see all over. So anyone spotting that and understanding it would have been in a position to guess my beliefs. But I was on a train and not even wearing my Darwin “Evolve” tshirt that day. And ‘The Independent’ isn’t a registered flag for card carrying atheists, so what, I wondered, had given the game away.
‘What makes you so certain that I don’t?’
‘Because’, he said, ‘ I am god – and you are not afraid of me’
You’ll have to take my word for it of course, but there are ways you can deliver a line like that – most of which would render the speaker a candidate for an institution, or at least prozac. Some of which could be construed as mildly entertaining.
Conveying it as “indifferent fact” is a difficult task but that’s exactly how it came across. Nothing in his tone or attitude struck me as even mildly out of place with that statement. He said it because he believed it and his rationality did not appear to be drug induced or the result of a mental breakdown.
‘And why should I believe that?’
‘Well’ he said, ‘why don’t you ask me a few questions. Anything you like, and see if the answers satisfy your sceptical mind?’
This is going to be a short conversation after all, I thought.
‘Who am I?’
‘Stottle. Harry Stottle, born August 10 1947, Bristol, England. Father Paul, Mother Mary. Educated Duke of Yorks Royal Military School 1960 67, Sandhurst and Oxford, PhD in Exobiology, failed rock singer, full time trade union activist for 10 years, latterly self employed computer programmer, web author and aspiring philosopher. Married to Michelle, American citizen, two children by a previous marriage. You’re returning home after what seems to have been a successful meeting with an investor interested in your proposed product tracking anti-forgery software and protocol and you ate a full english breakfast at the hotel this morning except that, as usual, you asked them to hold the revolting english sausages and give you some extra bacon. ‘
He paused
‘You’re not convinced. Hmmm… what would it take to convince you? May I have your permission for a telepathic link?’
‘Do you need my permission?’
‘Technically, no. Ethically, yes’
Might as well play along I thought. ‘OK – you have my permission. So convince me’
‘oh right! Your most secret password and its association’
A serious hacker might be able to obtain the password, but no one else and I mean
NO ONE
knows its association.
He did.
So how would you have played it?
I threw a few more questions about relatively insignificant but unpublicised details of my life (like what my mother claims was the first word I ever spoke – apparently “armadillo”! (Don’t ask…)) but I was already pretty convinced. I knew there were only three possible explanations at this point.
Possibility One was that I was dreaming, hallucinating or hypnotised. Nobody’s figured out a test for that so, at the time I think that was my dominant feeling. It did not feel real at the time. More like I was in a play. Acting my lines. Since the event, however, continuing detailed memories of it, together with my contemporaneous notes, remain available, so unless the hallucination has continued to this day, I am now inclined to reject the hallucination hypothesis. Which leaves two others.
He could have been a true telepath. No documented evidence exists of anyone ever having such profound abilities to date but it was a possibility. It would have explained how he could know my best-kept secrets. The problem with that is that it doesn’t explain anything else! In particular it doesn’t account for the answers he proceeded to give to my later questions.
As Sherlock Holmes says, when you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Good empiricist, Sherlock.
I was forced to accept at least the possibility that this man was who he claimed to be.
So now what do you do?
Well, I’ve always known that if I met god I would have a million questions for him, so I thought, ‘why not?’ and proceeded with what follows. You’ll have to allow a bit of licence in the detail of the conversation. This was, shall we say, a somewhat unusual occurrence, not to mention just a BIT weird! And yes I was aleetle bit nervous! So if I don’t get it word perfect don’t whinge! You’ll get the gist I promise.
***********************************‘Forgive me if it takes me a little time to get up to speed here, but it’s not everyday I get to question a deity’
‘The Deity’ he interrupted.
‘ooh. Touchy!’ I thought.
‘Not really – just correcting the image’
Now That takes some getting used to!
I tried to get a grip on my thoughts, with an internal command – ‘Discipline Alex. You’ve always wanted to be in a situation like this, now you’re actually in it, you mustn’t go to pieces and waste the opportunity of a lifetime’
‘You won’t’ he said.
Tell you! That’s the bit that made it feel unreal more than anything else – this guy sitting across the table and very obviously accurately reading my every thought. It’s like finding someone else’s hand inside your trouser pocket!
Nevertheless, something (other than simply having given my “permission”) made me inclined to accept the invasion, I had obviously begun to have some confidence in his perception or abilities, so I distinctly remember the effect of his words was that I suddenly felt deeply reassured and completely relaxed. As he had no doubt intended. Man must have an amazing seduction technique!
So then we got down to business…
‘Are you human?’
‘No’
‘Were you, ever?’
‘No, but similar, Yes’
‘Ah, so you are a product of evolution?’
‘Most certainly – mainly my own’
‘and you evolved from a species like ours, dna based organisms or something equally viable?’
‘Correct’
‘so what, exactly, makes you god?’
‘I did’
‘Why?’
‘Seemed like a good idea at the time’
‘and your present powers, are they in any way similar to what the superstitious believers in my species attribute to you?’
‘Close enough. ’
‘So you created all this, just for us?’
‘No. Of course not’
‘But you did create the Universe?’
‘This One. Yes’
‘But not your own?’
‘This is my own!’
‘You know what I mean!’
‘You can’t create your own parents, so No’
‘So let me get this straight. You are an entirely natural phenomenon.’
‘Entirely’
‘Arising from mechanisms which we ourselves will one day understand and possibly even master?’
‘subject to a quibble over who “we ourselves” may be, but yes’
‘meaning that if the human race doesn’t come up to the mark, other species eventually will?’
‘in one.’
‘and how many other species are there already out there ahead of us?’
‘surprisingly few. Less than fourteen million’
‘FEW!?’
‘Phew!’
‘And how many at or about our level?’
‘currently a little over 4 ½ billion’
‘so our significance in the universe at present is roughly equivalent to the significance of the average Joe here on planet Earth in his relation to the human race?’
‘a little less. Level One, the level your species has reached, begins with the invention of the flying machine. The next level is achieved when a species is no longer dominated by or dependent upon it’s own primary – your Sun. They are able to prosper away from their own, or indeed any other, stellar system. Humanity is only just into the flying machine phase, so as you can imagine, on that scale, the human race is somewhat near the bottom of the level one pack’
‘Do you mean we will one day control our own Sun like Kardashev and Asimov talk about?’
‘quite the opposite. Those are the visions of an evolving mechanical species who imagine that bigger machines are better and stronger and that we will always need more and more energy to achieve mastery of the universe. The truth is the exact opposite. The more advanced we become, the less energy we require and the less impact we make on our environment. You manipulate matter, which requires enormous amounts of energy. We manipulate energy, which requires none. As a consequence, you would not, for example, even recognise a level two species as a lifeform unless it chose to let you ’
‘ all these evolving species; they are your “children”?’
‘I like to think of them that way’
‘and the point?’
‘at its simplest, “Life Must Go On”. My personal motivation is the desire to optimise the intelligence of the Universe. In your own terms, I strive to maximise pleasure and minimise pain. A great deal of pleasure, however, arises from communications between separate entities. Once you’ve achieved my level, we tend to cease to be billions of separate entities and become one ecstatic whole. A single entity that cannot die unless it loses the will to live. Advanced and self contained though I am, or perhaps, more accurately, because I am so advanced and self contained, one of the pleasures we lose along the way is that simple joy of meeting new and unpredictable minds and either learning from or teaching them. Thus, in large part, the point of the exercise is to provide company. I am the first eternal in this Universe. I do not intend to be the last’
‘so you created a Universe which is potentially capable of producing another god like yourself?’
‘The full benefit will be temporary, but like most orgasms, worth it.’
‘this being the moment when our new god merges with you and we become one again?’
‘don’t play it down, that’s the ecstatic vision driving us all, me included – and when it happens the ecstasy lasts several times longer than this universe has already existed. Believe me, it really is worth the effort.’
‘Yes, I think I can see the attractions of a hundred billion year long orgasm’
‘and humans haven’t even begun to know how to really enjoy the orgasms they are already capable of. Wait till you master that simple art!’
‘So it’s all about sex is it?’
‘Sexual ecstasy is merely a reward for procreating, it is what makes you want to do it. This is necessary, initially, to promote biological evolution. However once you’ve completed that stage and no longer require procreation, you will learn that ecstasy can be infinitely more intense than anything offered by sex’
‘Sounds good to me!’
‘How direct is your involvement in all this? Did you just light the fuse which set off the big bang and stand back and watch? Or did you have to plant the seeds on appropriately fertile planets?’
‘The first significant level of the intelligent self organisation of matter is the arrival of the organic chemistry which forms the precursor for biology and the first primitive life forms. That chemistry evolved, mostly, in deep space, once the stars had created enough of the heavier elements, and purely as a result of the operations of the laws of physics and chemistry which your scientists have already largely understood. All I did was to set the initial conditions which triggered the bang and essentially became dormant for nearly 5 billion years. That’s how long it took the first lifeforms to emerge. That places them some 8 billion years ahead of you. The first intelligent species are now 4.3 billion years ahead of you. Really quite advanced. I can have deeply meaningful conversations with them. And usually do. In fact I am as we speak’
‘So then what?’
‘Do I keep a constant vigil over every move you make? Not in the kind of prying intrusive sense that some of you seem to think. Let’s say I maintain an awareness of what’s going on, at a planetary level. I tend only to focus on evolutionary leaps. See if they’re going in the right direction’
‘And if they’re not?’
‘Nothing. Usually’
‘Usually?’
‘Usually species evolving in the wrong direction kill themselves off or become extinct for other reasons’
‘Usually?’
‘There have been one or two cases where a wrong species has had the potential of becoming dominant at the expense of a more promising strain’
‘Let me guess. Dinosaurs on this planet are an example. Too successful. Suppressed the development of mammals and were showing no signs of developing intelligence. So you engineered a little corrective action in the form of a suitably selected asteroid’
‘Perceptive. Almost correct. They were showing signs of developing intelligence, even co-operation. Study your Troodons. But far too predatory. Incapable of ever developing a “respect” for other life forms. It takes carrying your young to promote the development of emotional attachment to other animals. Earth reptiles aren’t built for that. The mammals who are, as you rightly say, couldn’t get a foothold against such mighty predators. You’ve now reached the stage where you could hold your own even against dinosaurs, but that’s only been true for about a thousand years, your predecessors didn’t stand a chance 65 million years ago, so the dinosaurs had to go. They were, however, far too ubiquitous and well balanced with the ecology of the planet, and never developed technology, so they weren’t going to kill themselves off in a hurry. Regrettably, I had to intervene.’
‘Regrettably?’
‘They were a beautiful and stunningly successful life form. One doesn’t destroy such things without a qualm.’
‘But at that stage how could you know that a better prospect would arise from the ashes?’
‘I didn’t. But the probability was quite high.’
‘and since then, what other little tweaks have you been responsible for in our development?’
‘None whatsoever. I set an alarm for the first sign of artificial aerial activity, as I usually do. Leonardo looked promising for a while, but not until the Montgolfier brothers did I really begin to take an interest. That registered you as a level one intelligent species’
‘If the sign is “aerial activity”, how do you identify technological bird species?’
“Same way. Intelligent flyers rarely become technologists though. They tend to evolve into adaptors rather than manipulators but the few exceptions develop flying machines rather more quickly than species like your own because they have a natural understanding of aerodynamics.”
‘but why would a bird need a flying machine?’
‘that’s like asking why would your species need cars and other forms of mechanical transport. The technology lets you carry heavier loads, faster and for greater distances than just relying on your own physical abilities.’
‘OK, so what about our more famous “prophets”; Jesus of Nazareth, Moses, Mohammed…’
‘hmmm… sadly misguided I’m afraid. I am not here to act as a safety net or ethical dictator for evolving species. It is true that anyone capable of communicating with their own cells will dimly perceive a connection to me – and all other objects in this universe – through the quantum foam, but interpreting that vision as representing something supernatural and requiring obeisance is somewhat wide of the mark. And their followers are all a bit too obsessive and religious for my liking. It’s no fun being worshipped once you stop being an adolescent teenager. Having said that, it’s not at all unusual for developing species to go through that phase. Until they begin to grasp how much they too can shape their small corner of the universe, they are in understandable awe of an individual dimly but correctly perceived to be responsible for the creation of the whole of that universe. Eventually, if they are to have any hope of attaining level two, they must grow out of it and begin to accept their own power and potential. It’s very akin to a child’s relationship with its parents. The awe and worship must disappear before the child can become an adult. Respect is not so bad as long as it’s not overdone. And I certainly respect all those species who make it that far. It’s a hard slog. I know. I’ve been there.’
‘So, you’ve been taking more interest in us since the Montgolfiers, when was that? 1650s?’
‘Close. 1783’
‘Well, if you’ve been watching us closely since then, what your average citizen is going to want to know is why you haven’t intervened more often. Why, if you have the power and omniscience that goes with being a god, have you sat back and allowed us to endure such incredible suffering and human misery in the past few centuries?’
‘It seems to be necessary.’
‘NECESSARY??!!’
‘Without exception, intelligent species who gain dominance over their planet do so by becoming the most efficient predators. There are many intelligent species who do not evolve to dominate their planet. Like your dolphins and most of the intelligent flyers we were just talking about, they adapt perfectly to the environment rather than take your course, which is to manipulate the environment. Unfortunately for the dolphin, theirs is a dead end. They may outlive the human race but will never escape the bounds of planet earth, let alone your solar system – not without your help at any rate. Only those who can manipulate the world they live in can one day hope to leave it and spread their seed throughout the universe.
Unlike the adaptors, who learn the point of cooperation fairly early on, manipulators battle on. And, once all lesser species have been overcome, they are so competitive and predatory that they are compelled to turn in on themselves. This nearly always evolves into tribal competition in one form or another and becomes more and more destructive – exactly like your own history. However this competition is vital to promote the leap from biological to technological evolution.
You need an arms race in order to make progress.
Your desire to dominate fuels a search for knowledge which the adaptors never acquire. And although your initial desire for knowledge is selfish and destructive, it begins the development of an intellectual self awareness, a form of higher consciousness, which never emerges in any other species. Not even while they are experiencing it, for example, can the intelligent adaptors – your dolphins – express the concepts of Love or Time.
Militarisation and the development of weapons of mass destruction are your first serious test at level one. You’re still not through that phase, though the signs are promising. There is no point whatsoever in my intervening to prevent your self-destruction. Your ability to survive these urges is a crucial test of your fitness to survive later stages. So I would not, never have and never will intervene to prevent a species from destroying itself. Most, in fact, do just that.’
‘And what of pity for those have to live through this torment?’
‘I can’t say this in any way that doesn’t sound callous, but how much time do you spend worrying about the ants you run over in your car? I know it sounds horrendous to you, but you have to see the bigger picture. At this stage in human development, you’re becoming interesting but not yet important.’
‘ah but I can’t have an intelligent conversation with an ant’
‘precisely’
‘hmm… as you know, most humans won’t like even to attempt to grasp that perspective. How can you make it more palatable?’
‘Why should I? You don’t appear to have any trouble grasping it. You’re by no means unique. And in any case, once they begin to understand what’s in it for them, they’ll be somewhat less inclined to moan. Eternal life compensates for most things.’
‘So what are we supposed to do in order to qualify for membership of the universal intelligentsia?’
‘Evolve. Survive’
‘Yes, but how?’
‘Oh, I thought you might have got the point by now. “How” is entirely up to you. If I have to help, then you’re a failure. All I will say is this. You’ve already passed a major hurdle in learning to live with nuclear weapons. It’s depressing how many fail at that stage.’
‘Is there worse to come?’
‘Much’
‘Genetic warfare for instance?
‘Distinct Possibility’
‘and the problem is… that we need to develop all these technologies, acquire all this dangerous knowledge in order to reach level two. But at any stage that knowledge could also cause our own destruction’
‘If you think the dangers of genetic warfare are serious, imagine discovering an algorithm, accessible to any intelligent individual, which, if abused, will eliminate your species instantly. If your progress continues as is, then you can expect to discover that particular self-destruct mechanism in less than a thousand years. Your species needs to grow up considerably before you can afford to make that discovery. And if you don’t make it, you will never leave your Solar System and join the rest of the sapient species on level two.’
’14 Million of them’
‘Just under’
‘Will there be room for us?’
‘it’s a big place and level two species don’t need much space’
‘and, for now, how should we mere mortals regard you then?’
‘like an older brother or sister. Of course I have acquired more knowledge and wisdom than you have. Of course I’m more powerful than you are. I’ve been evolving much longer and have picked up a few tricks along the way. But I’m not “better” than you. Just more developed. Just what you might become’
‘so we’re not obliged to “please” you or follow your alleged guidelines or anything like that?’
‘absolutely not. Never issued a single guideline in the lifetime of this Universe. Have to find your own way out of the maze. And one early improvement is to stop expecting me – or anyone else – to come and help you out.’
‘I suppose that is a guideline of sorts, so there goes the habit of a lifetime! ‘
‘Seriously though, species who hold on to religion past its sell-by date tend to be most likely to self destruct. They spend so much energy arguing about my true nature, and invest so much emotion in their wildly erroneous imagery that they end up killing each other over differences in definitions of something they clearly haven’t got a clue about. Ludicrous behaviour, but it does weed out the weaklings.’
‘Why me? Why are you telling me all this? And why Now?’
‘Why You? Because you can accept my existence without your ego caving in and grovelling like a naughty child. ‘
‘Can you seriously imagine how the Pope would react to the reality of my existence?! If he really understood how badly wrong he and his church have been, how much of the pain and suffering you mentioned earlier has been caused by his religion, I suspect he’d have an instant coronary! Or can you picture what it would be like if I appeared “live” simultaneously on half a dozen tele-evangelist propaganda shows. Pat Robertson wouldwet himself if he actually understood who he was talking to.
Conversely, your interest is purely academic. You’ve never swallowed the fairy tale but you’ve remained open to the possibility of a more advanced life form which could acquire godlike powers. You’ve correctly guessed that godhood is the destiny of life. You have shown you can and do cope with the concept. It seemed reasonable to confirm your suspicions and let you do what you will with that information.
I can see you’re already thinking about publishing this conversation on the web where it could sow an important seed. Might take a couple of hundred years to germinate, but, eventually, it will germinate.
Why now? Well partly because both you and the web are ready now. But chiefly because the human race is reaching a critical phase. It goes back to what we were saying about the dangers of knowledge. Essentially your species is becoming aware of that danger. When that happens to any sapient species, the future can take three courses.
Many are tempted to avoid the danger by avoiding the knowledge. Like the adaptors, they are doomed to extinction. Often pleasantly enough in the confines of their own planet until either their will to live expires or their primary turns red giant and snuffs them out.
A large number go on blindly acquiring the knowledge and don’t learn to restrain their abuse. Their fate is sealed somewhat more quickly of course, when Pandora’s box blows up in their faces.
The only ones who reach level two are those who learn to accept and to live with their most dangerous knowledge. Each and every individual in such a species must eventually become capable of destroying their entire species at any time. Yet they must learn to control themselves to the degree that they can survive even such deadly insight. And frankly, they’re the only ones we really want to see leaving their solar systems. Species that haven’t achieved that maturity could not be allowed to infect the rest of the universe, but fortunately that has never required my intervention. The knowledge always does the trick’
‘Why can’t there be a fourth option – selective research where we avoid investigating dangerous pathways?’
‘There is almost no knowledge which is completely “safe”. As you can see from your own limited history, the most useful ideas are also, nearly always, the most dangerous. You have yet, for instance, to achieve the appropriate energy surpluses required to complete this phase of your social development. When you’ve mastered the relevant technology, it will eliminate material inequalities and poverty within a generation or two, an absolutely vital step for any maturing species. Your potential paths to this bonanza include the control of nuclear fusion – which you only began to explore in the context of potential mass extinction weapons and nano engineered solar energy harvesting or hydrogen cycling. And already your leading military scientists are looking for ways to develop equally dangersous weapons based on the same technology. And they will find them. You may not survive them.
Similarly, you will shortly be able to conquer biological diseases and even engineer yourselves to be virtually fault free. Your biological life spans will double or treble within the next hundred years and your digital lifespans will become potentially infinite within the same period:If you survive the potential threat that the same technology provides in the form of genetic timebombs, custom built viruses and the other wonders of genetic and digital warfare.
You simply can’t have the benefits without taking the risks’.
‘I’m not sure I understand my part in this exercise. I just publish this conversation on the web and everything will be alright?’
‘Not necessarily. Not that easy I’m afraid. To start with, who’s going to take this seriously? It will just be seen as a mildly amusing work of fiction. In fact, your words and indeed most of your work will not be understood or appreciated until some much more advanced scholars develop the ideas you are struggling to express and explain them somewhat more competently. At which point some of those ideas will be taken up en masse and searches will be undertaken of the archives. They will find this work and be struck by its prescience. You won’t make the Einstein grade, but you might manage John the Baptist!
This piece will have no significance whatsoever if humanity doesn’t make certain key advances in the next couple of centuries. And this won’t help you make those advances. What it will do is help you recognise them’
‘can I ask what those advances may be?’
‘I think you know. But yes – although you are at level one, there are several distinct phases which evolving species pass through on their way to level two. The first, as we’ve discussed, is the invention of the flying machine. The next significant phase is the development of the thinking machine.
At your present rate of progress, you are within a few decades of achieving that goal. It marks your first step on the path of technological evolution. Mapping the human genome is another classic landmark, but merely mapping it is a bit like viewing the compiled code in a dos executable. It’s just meaningless gibberish, although with a bit of hacking here and there, you might correctly deduce the function of certain stretches of code.
What you really need to do is ‘reverse engineer’ the dna code. You have to figure out the grammar and syntax of the language. Then you will begin the task of designing yourselves biologically and digitally. But that task requires the thinking machine’
‘You say you avoid intervention. But doesn’t this conversation itself constitute intervention – even if people alive now completely ignore it?’
‘Yes. But it’s as far as I’m prepared to go. Its only effect is to confirm, if you find it, that you are on the right path. It is still entirely up to you to navigate the dangers on that path and beyond.’
‘But why bother even with that much? Surely it’s just another evolutionary hurdle. We’re either fit enough or not…’
‘In many ways the transition to an information species is the most traumatic stage in evolution. Biological intelligences have a deeply rooted sense of consciousness only being conceivable from within an organic brain. Coming to terms with the realisation that you have created your successor, not just in the sense of mother and child, but in the collective sense of the species recognising it has become redundant, this paradigm shift is, for many species, a shift too far. They baulk at the challenge and run from this new knowledge. They fail and become extinct. Yet there is nothing fundamentally wrong with them – it is a failure of the imagination.
I hope that if I can get across the concept that I am a product of just such evolution, it may give them the confidence to try. I have discussed this with the level two species and the consensus is that this tiny prod is capable of increasing the contenders for level two without letting through any damaging traits. It has been tried in 312 cases. The jury is still out on its real benefits although it has produced a 12% increase in biological species embracing the transition to information species.
‘Alright, so what if everyone suddenly took it seriously and believed every word I write? Wouldn’t that constitute a somewhat more drastic intervention?’
‘Trust me. They wont’
‘and so it’s still the case, that, should another asteroid happen to be heading our way, you will do nothing to impede it on our behalf?’
‘I’m confident you will pass that test. And now my friend, the interview is over, you have asked me a number of the right questions, and I’ve said what I came to say, so I’ll be going now. It has been very nice to meet you – you’re quite bright. For an ant!’ He twinkled.
‘Just one final, trivial question, why do you appear to me in the form of a thirty something white male?’
‘have I in any way intimidated or threatened you?’
‘No’
‘Do you find me sexually attractive?’
‘er No!’
‘So figure it out for yourself…’
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
PERSONAL: YOU SHOULD BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I find you attractive. Yeah that's my hook, and the reason I am writing this. You may or may not be interested in me, but if you do read this I'm going to present a valid argument as to why you should be falling head over heels. If you actually make it all the way through we are probably meant to be together. I am a prime candidate for husband material because, I am extremely attractive, I have a wonderful personality, and I'm talented.
Yes it is true, I am gorgeous. I don't like to brag, but I have been called a young Ashton Kutcher on more than one occasion. Maybe you got a chance to check out my core? Well if not that is a shame, it is pretty solid. I moisturize often so my skin is super soft, and I don't go a day without shaving. All of this is circumstantial on paper, but the evidence you need is right in front of you. Did I mention my bone structure? No? Well I figured that was a given, but yes I have excellent bone structure. All in all I'd say I'm an eight on a scale from one to ten. Maybe that is being generous, but if you think so maybe you are being a little too generous with your food portions! I'm sorry that was uncalled for. Anyways every mirror I've ever looked in was sexually aggressive towards me, so that's how I know I'm attractive.
I kid you not, I have a wonderful personality. If I was a character on "How I Met Your Mother" I would be Barney Stinson. Yeah I'm that guy within my group of friends, except for the whole getting girls thing... Have ya met Ted? What I'm trying to say is I am hilarious, and really good at giving high fives. Sometimes I take things too far, but I'm good at making memories. I mean the fact that I even came up with this whole bit speaks for itself. Who else would come up with such a great idea, and then actually go through all of this trouble? I carry around stickers, but If your hot you probably know that by now. I love to go shopping (especially shoe shopping) so that's never going to be a problem. All humor aside though, I'm a good person. I will always be there for my friends, and if you need a ride home from the airport all you have to do is ask. There is no doubt I am one of a kind. A real catch, but if all of this isn't enough for you then please keep reading
That's right, I'm three for three, because beyond my good looks and charm I am a very talented person. I've been told many times I have a way with words. I think at this point that is a creditable statement. Obviously I am a writer who work as a doctor, which is a gift as well as a curse. I am a very talented poet actually, so you are in for a treat. Aside from my main talent I am a really good juggler. I can juggle four balls at once which is impressive. Being able to handle balls(sorry couldn't resist) isn't a very useful skill, but that isn't going to stop me from using it to try and get laid. Oh yeah and I'm really good at rock-band. I mean I'm ranked in the top two percent of the leader boards world wide. I mean it's not a big deal or whatever, but that's the top two percent of everyone world wide... thats a lot of people I am better than. Oh and lets not forget my sweet skills in the bed room. Have you ever heard of the "Horizontal Rocking Chair"? Of-course not, because it is a move I came up with myself after reading an article in Cosmo. Your gonna want to see it first hand, trust me. I know what your thinking. It is amazing that I am still single with all of these qualities.
I'm not going to lie to you. I may have over sold myself a bit, but you are still reading this aren't you? If so there must be a reason for that. I'm sure you are curious and want to get to know the real me. Well lucky for you I want that too. We should like totally hang out and get some pizza some time, or whatever.
Maybe your not looking for a relationship right now. That's cool I'm fine with just having some fun. Maybe you have a boyfriend. That's cool too, I can run pretty fast. Anyways this was my move, so now it's your turn to make a move.
PART II
This is dedicated to all the pretty girls out there.
Why y'all should date me.
*********************************************************************************
1. I am not one of those cocky douchebags who post shirtless selfies on social networking sites.
Like cmon, how arrogant do you have to be? And the majority of these guys think they are cool too, when they throw on their shades and pose with goofy sports hats. Like cmon. Simply embarrassing.
2. I'm the kind of guy you are going to want to take home to your parents
Now, I already realize that I am a arrogant bastard, but still. I am smooth as hell. I am charming. I am very well-spoken. I come across as an ambitious, caring, nice, and well-intentioned individual. I will show up at your doorstep, introducing myself, and looking damn good while doing it. Your mom will most likely text you after we leave saying, "He is so cute." Which I already know. Let's continue.
3. I am not a dick
I won't cheat on you, people who cheat are total pieces of shit in my book. And I would never do any other, well, I suppose "Dickish" things to you.
4. I surprise you
Oh, so you have a tennis fundraiser breakfast thing that you didn't tell me about? I will be there. You are having a rough day? I will be there with a lot of chocolate and hugs. You want someone to talk to about a problem, a math problem, or a teenage-years life crisis? I will be there to talk to you.
5. I have the text thing down
I will text you every night saying good-night. That is just one of the reasons I am a great person. I also text you good-morning, and send you a funny cat meme to brighten up your day when you start to rise and shine.
6. I have a slim body
7. I want to be a millionaire some day, so if we actually elope, you will have a damn good life.
8. When I meet the right girl, the girl I want to marry, I want to get married in Paris, honeymoon in Venice, live in Long Island, and have like 3-5 beautiful children.
9. I am rather sensitive. Girls dig it.
Yes it is true, I am gorgeous. I don't like to brag, but I have been called a young Ashton Kutcher on more than one occasion. Maybe you got a chance to check out my core? Well if not that is a shame, it is pretty solid. I moisturize often so my skin is super soft, and I don't go a day without shaving. All of this is circumstantial on paper, but the evidence you need is right in front of you. Did I mention my bone structure? No? Well I figured that was a given, but yes I have excellent bone structure. All in all I'd say I'm an eight on a scale from one to ten. Maybe that is being generous, but if you think so maybe you are being a little too generous with your food portions! I'm sorry that was uncalled for. Anyways every mirror I've ever looked in was sexually aggressive towards me, so that's how I know I'm attractive.
I kid you not, I have a wonderful personality. If I was a character on "How I Met Your Mother" I would be Barney Stinson. Yeah I'm that guy within my group of friends, except for the whole getting girls thing... Have ya met Ted? What I'm trying to say is I am hilarious, and really good at giving high fives. Sometimes I take things too far, but I'm good at making memories. I mean the fact that I even came up with this whole bit speaks for itself. Who else would come up with such a great idea, and then actually go through all of this trouble? I carry around stickers, but If your hot you probably know that by now. I love to go shopping (especially shoe shopping) so that's never going to be a problem. All humor aside though, I'm a good person. I will always be there for my friends, and if you need a ride home from the airport all you have to do is ask. There is no doubt I am one of a kind. A real catch, but if all of this isn't enough for you then please keep reading
That's right, I'm three for three, because beyond my good looks and charm I am a very talented person. I've been told many times I have a way with words. I think at this point that is a creditable statement. Obviously I am a writer who work as a doctor, which is a gift as well as a curse. I am a very talented poet actually, so you are in for a treat. Aside from my main talent I am a really good juggler. I can juggle four balls at once which is impressive. Being able to handle balls(sorry couldn't resist) isn't a very useful skill, but that isn't going to stop me from using it to try and get laid. Oh yeah and I'm really good at rock-band. I mean I'm ranked in the top two percent of the leader boards world wide. I mean it's not a big deal or whatever, but that's the top two percent of everyone world wide... thats a lot of people I am better than. Oh and lets not forget my sweet skills in the bed room. Have you ever heard of the "Horizontal Rocking Chair"? Of-course not, because it is a move I came up with myself after reading an article in Cosmo. Your gonna want to see it first hand, trust me. I know what your thinking. It is amazing that I am still single with all of these qualities.
I'm not going to lie to you. I may have over sold myself a bit, but you are still reading this aren't you? If so there must be a reason for that. I'm sure you are curious and want to get to know the real me. Well lucky for you I want that too. We should like totally hang out and get some pizza some time, or whatever.
Maybe your not looking for a relationship right now. That's cool I'm fine with just having some fun. Maybe you have a boyfriend. That's cool too, I can run pretty fast. Anyways this was my move, so now it's your turn to make a move.
PART II
This is dedicated to all the pretty girls out there.
Why y'all should date me.
*********************************************************************************
1. I am not one of those cocky douchebags who post shirtless selfies on social networking sites.
Like cmon, how arrogant do you have to be? And the majority of these guys think they are cool too, when they throw on their shades and pose with goofy sports hats. Like cmon. Simply embarrassing.
2. I'm the kind of guy you are going to want to take home to your parents
Now, I already realize that I am a arrogant bastard, but still. I am smooth as hell. I am charming. I am very well-spoken. I come across as an ambitious, caring, nice, and well-intentioned individual. I will show up at your doorstep, introducing myself, and looking damn good while doing it. Your mom will most likely text you after we leave saying, "He is so cute." Which I already know. Let's continue.
3. I am not a dick
I won't cheat on you, people who cheat are total pieces of shit in my book. And I would never do any other, well, I suppose "Dickish" things to you.
4. I surprise you
Oh, so you have a tennis fundraiser breakfast thing that you didn't tell me about? I will be there. You are having a rough day? I will be there with a lot of chocolate and hugs. You want someone to talk to about a problem, a math problem, or a teenage-years life crisis? I will be there to talk to you.
5. I have the text thing down
I will text you every night saying good-night. That is just one of the reasons I am a great person. I also text you good-morning, and send you a funny cat meme to brighten up your day when you start to rise and shine.
6. I have a slim body
7. I want to be a millionaire some day, so if we actually elope, you will have a damn good life.
8. When I meet the right girl, the girl I want to marry, I want to get married in Paris, honeymoon in Venice, live in Long Island, and have like 3-5 beautiful children.
9. I am rather sensitive. Girls dig it.
Yeah, I was planning for this to be a lot longer, but I am suffering from feeling like total shit and a heavy heart so I am probably going to go to listen to Maroon Five's She Will Be Loved on repeat for a couple hours. What can I say? I am a sensitive guy. Girls like that though. They also like douchebags however.
PART III
Why is it that what we can’t have is so damn attractive? And then, if you’re anything like me, when you can’t have it, you work harder.My problem is: I’m obsessive about basically everything I’m passionate about. I’m constantly pushing myself to do more and to do better, but it can also be dangerous. When I become fixed on a project or piece or person, I get a little nuts. Just ask any one of my close friends if you don’t–God bless you if you don’t–believe me!
I think the real bugger here for me is instinct. For whatever reason, I have this hell of an instinct– also something my best of friends will vouch for me. While it’s a pain in the ass to be fixated on somthing you know isn’t “right” or will “pass,” One of my favorite mini-stories is one that a lovely woman who was a patient of mine who told me about the love of her life, a man she was with for nearly thirty years who passed away several years ago. The two were friends for a very long time before they got together and he would always say to her, “You’re going to fall in love with me someday. You just don’t know it yet.” She said she would always laugh, brush it off or call him crazy. But he was right– she did fall in love with him. Hard. Arguably she’ll never love anyone else the way she loved him. Oh, to have that patience! It reminds me of one of my favorite passages from the I-Ching, “Waiting is not mere empty hoping, it has inner certainty of reaching the goal.”
I guess the question then is: what to do with all this pent-up eagerness? Well, my friends, I’ve got an idea!. Call me a narcissist was one that I made called: “Reasons You Should Date Me.” I must say, this one in particular was quite the self-esteem boost and I’d highly recommend it–especially if you’ve got a certain nagging limerence. It’s funny how letting thoughts escape from your noggin onto a sheet of paper can be so freeing. (Although, as a footnote bonus special: in the words of the Dad in Juno, “Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood. Ugly, pretty, handsome. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.”)
Reasons You Should Date Me (Annotated):
1. I’m passionate about life and living, theatre, art, politics and human interaction– admittedly, sometimes too much so.
2. I’m funny– or at least ridiculous enough that you’ll probably laugh anyway!
3. I’m honest. Brutally honest. Often I’ll tell you what I think, even if you don’t want to hear it.
4. I’m loyal. I’ll stick by you, stand up for you, rally your side. Boy Scout’s Honor.
5. I got my life in order...I have a career and not a job,..doctor. I have a house, a car and a great family.
6- I love adventures, trips to new places, trips to old places– museums, shows, games, hikes, festivals, you name it and I’m probably game.
7-I go into relationship to see what I can put into it....instead of what I can get out
8- I’m good at telling stories– and good at listening to them.
9-Yeah, I’ve got a pretty good body…and handsome
10- I promise I’m not as terrifying as this all makes me seem.
–And… I think that’s enough of that! Now it’s time for yours.
So with that: best of luck, my friends. It’s only a matter of time.
PART V
OK, so I am going to blow my own horn here. I’ve been doing this dating thing for a while now. Sometimes successfully, sometimes horribly not. But, I have learned a lot about who I am and what I want in a person. I have also learned to be true to me … what does that mean? It means not to settle for what isn’t right for me and that I don’t need to be a “couple” to be happy and fulfilled.
So why should you date me? Here’s why:
I am educated, intelligent and well travelled … I have a lot of life experience and love to share that with others without being snobby about it.
I am attractive, healthy and fit … I take great pride in living a healthy lifestyle which includes eating right and exercising.
I am compassionate and caring … I always try and take care of others as well as myself and when I am with someone I treat them like they are the king of the world (as long as I am their king).
I have a positive outlook on life and like to influence others positively … I try my best to always look at the glass as half full rather than half empty and try and inspire that in others as well … I always say “positive attitude attracts positive events”.
I am lots of fun in every way (perhaps a little wild) … wouldn’t you like to know? I never shy away from some fun and excitement no matter what (or where) it is … and I love to laugh and try everything once, more if I like it!
Have I convinced you? Or perhaps scared you away? Well … I think each person should blow their own horn. How can you expect others to want to date you if you wouldn’t date yourself? So go ahead, make a list, why I should someone date you?
PART III
Why is it that what we can’t have is so damn attractive? And then, if you’re anything like me, when you can’t have it, you work harder.My problem is: I’m obsessive about basically everything I’m passionate about. I’m constantly pushing myself to do more and to do better, but it can also be dangerous. When I become fixed on a project or piece or person, I get a little nuts. Just ask any one of my close friends if you don’t–God bless you if you don’t–believe me!
I think the real bugger here for me is instinct. For whatever reason, I have this hell of an instinct– also something my best of friends will vouch for me. While it’s a pain in the ass to be fixated on somthing you know isn’t “right” or will “pass,” One of my favorite mini-stories is one that a lovely woman who was a patient of mine who told me about the love of her life, a man she was with for nearly thirty years who passed away several years ago. The two were friends for a very long time before they got together and he would always say to her, “You’re going to fall in love with me someday. You just don’t know it yet.” She said she would always laugh, brush it off or call him crazy. But he was right– she did fall in love with him. Hard. Arguably she’ll never love anyone else the way she loved him. Oh, to have that patience! It reminds me of one of my favorite passages from the I-Ching, “Waiting is not mere empty hoping, it has inner certainty of reaching the goal.”
I guess the question then is: what to do with all this pent-up eagerness? Well, my friends, I’ve got an idea!. Call me a narcissist was one that I made called: “Reasons You Should Date Me.” I must say, this one in particular was quite the self-esteem boost and I’d highly recommend it–especially if you’ve got a certain nagging limerence. It’s funny how letting thoughts escape from your noggin onto a sheet of paper can be so freeing. (Although, as a footnote bonus special: in the words of the Dad in Juno, “Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood. Ugly, pretty, handsome. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.”)
Reasons You Should Date Me (Annotated):
1. I’m passionate about life and living, theatre, art, politics and human interaction– admittedly, sometimes too much so.
2. I’m funny– or at least ridiculous enough that you’ll probably laugh anyway!
3. I’m honest. Brutally honest. Often I’ll tell you what I think, even if you don’t want to hear it.
4. I’m loyal. I’ll stick by you, stand up for you, rally your side. Boy Scout’s Honor.
5. I got my life in order...I have a career and not a job,..doctor. I have a house, a car and a great family.
6- I love adventures, trips to new places, trips to old places– museums, shows, games, hikes, festivals, you name it and I’m probably game.
7-I go into relationship to see what I can put into it....instead of what I can get out
8- I’m good at telling stories– and good at listening to them.
9-Yeah, I’ve got a pretty good body…and handsome
10- I promise I’m not as terrifying as this all makes me seem.
–And… I think that’s enough of that! Now it’s time for yours.
So with that: best of luck, my friends. It’s only a matter of time.
PART V
OK, so I am going to blow my own horn here. I’ve been doing this dating thing for a while now. Sometimes successfully, sometimes horribly not. But, I have learned a lot about who I am and what I want in a person. I have also learned to be true to me … what does that mean? It means not to settle for what isn’t right for me and that I don’t need to be a “couple” to be happy and fulfilled.
So why should you date me? Here’s why:
I am educated, intelligent and well travelled … I have a lot of life experience and love to share that with others without being snobby about it.
I am attractive, healthy and fit … I take great pride in living a healthy lifestyle which includes eating right and exercising.
I am compassionate and caring … I always try and take care of others as well as myself and when I am with someone I treat them like they are the king of the world (as long as I am their king).
I have a positive outlook on life and like to influence others positively … I try my best to always look at the glass as half full rather than half empty and try and inspire that in others as well … I always say “positive attitude attracts positive events”.
I am lots of fun in every way (perhaps a little wild) … wouldn’t you like to know? I never shy away from some fun and excitement no matter what (or where) it is … and I love to laugh and try everything once, more if I like it!
Have I convinced you? Or perhaps scared you away? Well … I think each person should blow their own horn. How can you expect others to want to date you if you wouldn’t date yourself? So go ahead, make a list, why I should someone date you?
PERSONAL/DATING: THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS
There are two big problems in dating as I see it.1) You don’t want the people who want you. 2) The people you want don’t want you in return. I use to take the futile route of trying to change the second one – “How do I MAKE her like me?” “I’m exactly what she’s looking for!” “ She doesn’t know what’s good for her.” But you know what...you can’t change anyone That is a waste of time What you can change is YOU.The easiest remedy is to want the people who want you.There are tons of 38-year-old male Ivy-League educated lawyers who just can’t find a single woman good enough for him. These guys, who are, like me, probably 7′s in looks and 9′s in intelligence, just can’t help but to go for women who are 9′s in looks, but 5′s in emotional intelligence/compatibility..If you think you “deserve” a certain kind of partner … and yet you’ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner.If the 34-year-old woman MBA who owns her own condo, runs marathons, and can complete the Sunday New York Times crossword only likes 9′s and 10′s… but those same men always a) prefer younger women or b) ultimately break her heart because they’re egotistical, selfish narcissists who only want younger women and aren’t ready to settle down… should she keep holding out for them? Wouldn’t it make much more sense to marry one of the devoted 7′s who think she’s the bee’s knees?Apparently not. Because that would be settling. And settling is bad.They would rather tilt at windmills, trying to acquire a partner who DOESN’T want them, instead of realizing that the BEST partner for them is the one who WANTS them and VALUES them and thinks THEY are a catch. It's our unrealistic expectations – of how we see ourselves – and of what we expect of our partners. If you price a candy bar at $100 and there are no buyers, you need to lower the price of the candy bar. If you think you “deserve” a certain kind of partner – not just someone who is rich, hot, and brilliant, but a rich, hot, brilliant partner who STICKS AROUND – and yet you’ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner. The key is in letting go of the image you’ve been holding onto. Just like the movie High Fidelity with John Cusak. Because real relationships aren’t about credentials; they’re about connection. And I truly believe there are thousands of people I can potentially be happy with… if only they didn’t have such a rigid idea of what it looked like.
I, as we all are, am a walking mess of flaws and weaknesses that drag me down but at the same time, make me the unique individual that I..
I, as we all are, am a walking mess of flaws and weaknesses that drag me down but at the same time, make me the unique individual that I..
PERSONAL: FALL IN LOVE..THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT
So which one really should you date? A Doctor? A Lawyer? ..A Theif? … the list goes on and on. or should date a guy who writing this ad. hmmm don’t you find it a little narcissistic?
In my case, it would be easy for me to convince you to date a guy like me. To start with, I can tell you a hundred reasons why you should date me with all the extra things I can do and with my emotional maturity and sense of humor… so easy to market and sell myself if I wanted. I can practically date any woman if I wanted if only I was desperate. I can vividly describe what it is like to be loved by me, how romantic and caring I can be, how ideal I am and how colorful your world would be to have me as your man but no…. I choose not to write about these things. The reason? Because I simply don’t want to force anyone to choose to love me just because I’m this or that.
When love hits you…. It just does. No questions, no reasons whatsoever. Beyond the background, IQ rating, size, height , skin color and all other classifications .We simply cannot choose who we are gonna fall for. Most of the time you’d be surprised on why you can’t stop thinking of this person. Suddenly, you’re on a spell!
My advice… date the one whom your heart is screaming for. =) The one who makes your heart pound. The one who transforms your aura for reasons unfathomable. The one whom you “connect” with. The one you wanna dream with, cry with and laugh with. The one whom you wanna kiss and passionately make love with each night (sex is very important). The one whom you share a talks with… - because this is a person who will make your existence whole.
Falling in love is a gift. You’ll know it when it hits you. Lucky are those who find and nurture it. No matter how painful heartaches are… no matter how deep the damage is, may we all remain hopeful and think that each heart ache is not defeat but a learning experience and a sign that you are closer and closer to the one for you. I for one (being very idealistic) is still a firm believer of having a soul mate. I know in my heart that I will find my soulmate in this lifetime. I know that we promised to meet no matter how many lifetimes we will have. A promise that we will fall in love over and over again….So my advice for you…. Go on and take the plunge! Fall in love! ….. this is what life is all about!
In my case, it would be easy for me to convince you to date a guy like me. To start with, I can tell you a hundred reasons why you should date me with all the extra things I can do and with my emotional maturity and sense of humor… so easy to market and sell myself if I wanted. I can practically date any woman if I wanted if only I was desperate. I can vividly describe what it is like to be loved by me, how romantic and caring I can be, how ideal I am and how colorful your world would be to have me as your man but no…. I choose not to write about these things. The reason? Because I simply don’t want to force anyone to choose to love me just because I’m this or that.
When love hits you…. It just does. No questions, no reasons whatsoever. Beyond the background, IQ rating, size, height , skin color and all other classifications .We simply cannot choose who we are gonna fall for. Most of the time you’d be surprised on why you can’t stop thinking of this person. Suddenly, you’re on a spell!
My advice… date the one whom your heart is screaming for. =) The one who makes your heart pound. The one who transforms your aura for reasons unfathomable. The one whom you “connect” with. The one you wanna dream with, cry with and laugh with. The one whom you wanna kiss and passionately make love with each night (sex is very important). The one whom you share a talks with… - because this is a person who will make your existence whole.
Be with the one whom you wanna grow with. The one you never wanna lie to. The one person who makes you glow. The one whom you still accept despite the flaws and occasional shortcomings. The one who never fails to amuse you, leaves you wondering what he’s gonna do next. I don’t care whether she’s outgoing or shy as long as you have a deep sense of mutual understanding. Someone you feel connected with may it be in having long conversations or with just a simple nod and wink. A connection that is unexplainably perfect.
Falling in love is a gift. You’ll know it when it hits you. Lucky are those who find and nurture it. No matter how painful heartaches are… no matter how deep the damage is, may we all remain hopeful and think that each heart ache is not defeat but a learning experience and a sign that you are closer and closer to the one for you. I for one (being very idealistic) is still a firm believer of having a soul mate. I know in my heart that I will find my soulmate in this lifetime. I know that we promised to meet no matter how many lifetimes we will have. A promise that we will fall in love over and over again….So my advice for you…. Go on and take the plunge! Fall in love! ….. this is what life is all about!
PERSONAL: A HAPPY ENDING DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU STOP YOUR STORY
I have always been a very rational person. I have always had the need to understand or find an explanation for why something happens or doesn’t happen. Whether it be an algebra equation or an argument with a friend, I believe there has to be a solution. I have never been good at leaving a question unanswered, a book unfinished, a disagreement unsettled.
Letting life unfold or leaving things to chance is not my strong suit. We have all heard someone in our lives say to us, ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Or, “Let’s see what happens.”There is nothing that irks me more than the wait-and-see approach to life. I want to plan, prepare and make my next move all the while creating a pretty little box with a bow, wrapping up each life experience and setting it in its place before moving on to life’s next gift.
As I ponder my need for control and order, I wonder why we all feel so compelled to know what tomorrow will look like. If we had that crystal ball, wouldn’t we all look? Why do we have such a difficult time living in the moment, or perhaps resigning ourselves to the idea that there is a power greater than us controlling our destiny.
Given my nature, the words destiny, fate and karma, are all a bit too abstract for me to feel comforted. I am skeptical of any idea that suggests that I do not play an active role in the outcome of my life. Yet for some reason, I am not above superstitions.
I guess if there is something beyond my realm of control, I somehow manage to retain some power… No wonder I didn’t get the job, I opened the umbrella inside the house… Or, I didn’t forward that chain email about the little girl dying of cancer to over twenty of my friends, no wonder this is happening to me!
Perhaps, there are some things that are just bigger than us…some things even I am unable to control or define. Life has to be about more than just coincidences, random events or whether I wore my lucky underwear to the football game each time my team won.
Remember the movie “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow? Her character gets fired from her job and we watch her parallel lives unfold, based on whether she made it into the tube train before the sliding doors closed. One version of her life unfolds after she just barely makes the train, while the other version, she just misses the train, altering the path of the rest of her life.
Yet in both scenarios, her ‘soul mates’ — friends and lovers alike — are met and play significant, albeit varying roles, regardless of which parallel life. She reaches the same destiny through drastically different paths.
Do all Roads Lead to Rome?
We have all had our share of ‘Sliding Door’ moments. Those moments, the seemingly inconsequential everyday choices we make; some by chance, others by conscious choice, always bringing about some change. There are definitely those grandiose life choices where we weigh our options and possibly wonder ‘what if?’ What if I had chosen a different college? What if I had taken that other job offer? What if I had stayed in that relationship?
But what about those moments you aren’t even aware of, or those that may be out of your control; the red light you ran, or deciding not to go to the gym because you were too tired, arriving somewhere earlier than anticipated, or later than expected…How would the path of your life have been altered? Do we ever really take the time to play out in our minds the ripple effect of seemingly inconsequential decisions and what became of them?
We are given these choices every day, and to some extent, the power to make them. Consciously or subconsciously, they are ours. We choose the path we take based on what we know at the time…based on our experiences, or our emotions, or our reflexes.
Daily, we take leaps of faith not knowing where the ground lies below or what may hide around the corner. Each path taken, teaches us and prepares us for the journey ahead. But what happens when we get lost, or ‘miss the train?’ Do all roads eventually lead to Rome, thus leaving us comforted in the unknown?
The Universe has served up such powerful moments of synchronicity, I can’t possibly subscribe to the randomness of it all. We have all had those moments when just before we are about to move across the country, we meet someone and fall in love.
Or on the last night of your uneventful vacation, you meet someone who takes your breath away in those 24 short hours of sheer bliss. And you curse the sky as daylight breaks wishing you had more time.
For me, it was just as a friend and I were deliberating a change of scenery to another party, I was stopped dead in my tracks by a familiar smile. And in that instant, life would never be the same. But that’s the funny thing about timing — or the combination of fate and those inconsequential choices -- it has nothing to do with love. No matter how many times you fall in love, it always comes at you sideways.
Has there ever been that one person that you keep running into unintentionally — at the most random of places? Or have you ever had that feeling of knowing instantly upon meeting someone that they are supposed to be in your life?
Like you have known them forever; as if there is some undefined, unexplainable connection that would exist in any place, at any time that you met this person? Like a glove that fits perfectly, or two pieces of a puzzle connecting, you suddenly feel home.
Whether it be a friend or a lover, a true soul mate is like looking in the mirror…the person who shows you everything that is holding you back and brings you to attention filling a vacancy you never even knew existed. With a palpable energy that radiates the space between you, there’s an inadvertent glow as if you are being lit up from the inside. It can literally bring you to life. And in that moment, you and fate have introduced yourself.
Then there are those you love no matter what; no matter how many times they have hurt you. No matter how long it’s been since you felt them in the morning…the kind of love that follows your heart no matter where you go, or with whom you fall in love, or how many years in between.
You can pick up after years of distance, as if just moments have elapsed…but because of choices you have made, or paths you have taken, or the utter inconvenience of timing, you may hold up your hand as if to say ‘I can’t,’ because life and time have changed you.
But then you think what if…?
Occasionally I find myself wondering what if and peeking behind the curtain that leads to my parallel life stemming from a certain choice I once made. In a bizarre way, my experience is not simply the mind wanderings of innocent wonder.
At certain moments, I feel like I am really there, in this alternate life, watching from a distance, knowing how things will play out. I feel a slight longing and a twinge of nostalgia and start to feel tears well up in my eyes. Then I see her smile.
And I think to myself, I’ll see you in Rome.
Who knows what tomorrow will look like, but our hope is that it will always be better than today. For me, believing in destiny is simply having hope. As Orson Wells once said, “a happy ending depends on where you stop your story.” I say, ‘If it’s not happy, then it’s not the end.’
Letting life unfold or leaving things to chance is not my strong suit. We have all heard someone in our lives say to us, ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Or, “Let’s see what happens.”There is nothing that irks me more than the wait-and-see approach to life. I want to plan, prepare and make my next move all the while creating a pretty little box with a bow, wrapping up each life experience and setting it in its place before moving on to life’s next gift.
As I ponder my need for control and order, I wonder why we all feel so compelled to know what tomorrow will look like. If we had that crystal ball, wouldn’t we all look? Why do we have such a difficult time living in the moment, or perhaps resigning ourselves to the idea that there is a power greater than us controlling our destiny.
Given my nature, the words destiny, fate and karma, are all a bit too abstract for me to feel comforted. I am skeptical of any idea that suggests that I do not play an active role in the outcome of my life. Yet for some reason, I am not above superstitions.
I guess if there is something beyond my realm of control, I somehow manage to retain some power… No wonder I didn’t get the job, I opened the umbrella inside the house… Or, I didn’t forward that chain email about the little girl dying of cancer to over twenty of my friends, no wonder this is happening to me!
Perhaps, there are some things that are just bigger than us…some things even I am unable to control or define. Life has to be about more than just coincidences, random events or whether I wore my lucky underwear to the football game each time my team won.
Remember the movie “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow? Her character gets fired from her job and we watch her parallel lives unfold, based on whether she made it into the tube train before the sliding doors closed. One version of her life unfolds after she just barely makes the train, while the other version, she just misses the train, altering the path of the rest of her life.
Yet in both scenarios, her ‘soul mates’ — friends and lovers alike — are met and play significant, albeit varying roles, regardless of which parallel life. She reaches the same destiny through drastically different paths.
Do all Roads Lead to Rome?
We have all had our share of ‘Sliding Door’ moments. Those moments, the seemingly inconsequential everyday choices we make; some by chance, others by conscious choice, always bringing about some change. There are definitely those grandiose life choices where we weigh our options and possibly wonder ‘what if?’ What if I had chosen a different college? What if I had taken that other job offer? What if I had stayed in that relationship?
But what about those moments you aren’t even aware of, or those that may be out of your control; the red light you ran, or deciding not to go to the gym because you were too tired, arriving somewhere earlier than anticipated, or later than expected…How would the path of your life have been altered? Do we ever really take the time to play out in our minds the ripple effect of seemingly inconsequential decisions and what became of them?
We are given these choices every day, and to some extent, the power to make them. Consciously or subconsciously, they are ours. We choose the path we take based on what we know at the time…based on our experiences, or our emotions, or our reflexes.
Daily, we take leaps of faith not knowing where the ground lies below or what may hide around the corner. Each path taken, teaches us and prepares us for the journey ahead. But what happens when we get lost, or ‘miss the train?’ Do all roads eventually lead to Rome, thus leaving us comforted in the unknown?
The Universe has served up such powerful moments of synchronicity, I can’t possibly subscribe to the randomness of it all. We have all had those moments when just before we are about to move across the country, we meet someone and fall in love.
Or on the last night of your uneventful vacation, you meet someone who takes your breath away in those 24 short hours of sheer bliss. And you curse the sky as daylight breaks wishing you had more time.
For me, it was just as a friend and I were deliberating a change of scenery to another party, I was stopped dead in my tracks by a familiar smile. And in that instant, life would never be the same. But that’s the funny thing about timing — or the combination of fate and those inconsequential choices -- it has nothing to do with love. No matter how many times you fall in love, it always comes at you sideways.
Has there ever been that one person that you keep running into unintentionally — at the most random of places? Or have you ever had that feeling of knowing instantly upon meeting someone that they are supposed to be in your life?
Like you have known them forever; as if there is some undefined, unexplainable connection that would exist in any place, at any time that you met this person? Like a glove that fits perfectly, or two pieces of a puzzle connecting, you suddenly feel home.
Whether it be a friend or a lover, a true soul mate is like looking in the mirror…the person who shows you everything that is holding you back and brings you to attention filling a vacancy you never even knew existed. With a palpable energy that radiates the space between you, there’s an inadvertent glow as if you are being lit up from the inside. It can literally bring you to life. And in that moment, you and fate have introduced yourself.
Then there are those you love no matter what; no matter how many times they have hurt you. No matter how long it’s been since you felt them in the morning…the kind of love that follows your heart no matter where you go, or with whom you fall in love, or how many years in between.
You can pick up after years of distance, as if just moments have elapsed…but because of choices you have made, or paths you have taken, or the utter inconvenience of timing, you may hold up your hand as if to say ‘I can’t,’ because life and time have changed you.
But then you think what if…?
Occasionally I find myself wondering what if and peeking behind the curtain that leads to my parallel life stemming from a certain choice I once made. In a bizarre way, my experience is not simply the mind wanderings of innocent wonder.
At certain moments, I feel like I am really there, in this alternate life, watching from a distance, knowing how things will play out. I feel a slight longing and a twinge of nostalgia and start to feel tears well up in my eyes. Then I see her smile.
And I think to myself, I’ll see you in Rome.
Who knows what tomorrow will look like, but our hope is that it will always be better than today. For me, believing in destiny is simply having hope. As Orson Wells once said, “a happy ending depends on where you stop your story.” I say, ‘If it’s not happy, then it’s not the end.’
PERSONAL: YOUR SLIDING DOOR MOMENT
Have you ever had a sliding door moment?
A moment where you took one decision over another that changed the path of your life, made you meet someone new who is now very important in your life, even saved your life?
A moment where you took one decision over another that changed the path of your life, made you meet someone new who is now very important in your life, even saved your life?
Well here is your moment, Either you can respond to me...be with me...talk to me and eventually get married and have kids...or you can continue waiting time with everyone else. I am your destiny. I used to be a pessimist.I saw the things I missed out on, the slights by others, the “never gonna happen” reactions.Somewhere along this journey I found my own silver lining playbook. I started seeing the other side of those missed moments, failures, changes to my plans.We often think we know why things happen in our life. I have come to realise my life is made up of a series of sliding door moments and, just like Gwyneth Paltrow’s character in the movie of the same name, I don’t get to see how it plays out both ways.
We make our choices, events happen, others play their parts, but we don’t always see that what feels like the “wrong way” is actually the right path for us.Now, it’s your turn . Are you standing outside your own sliding door, biting your bottom lip and digging for the courage to step through? If you are, I promise you the powerful connections waiting on the other side make the first terrifying step 100% worth it.
So life is a series of sliding doors. We choose which ones to walk through. We never know what will be waiting on the other side. Like the best end of season cliff-hanger, we love the suspense AND we can barely stand it!!
We make our choices, events happen, others play their parts, but we don’t always see that what feels like the “wrong way” is actually the right path for us.Now, it’s your turn . Are you standing outside your own sliding door, biting your bottom lip and digging for the courage to step through? If you are, I promise you the powerful connections waiting on the other side make the first terrifying step 100% worth it.
So life is a series of sliding doors. We choose which ones to walk through. We never know what will be waiting on the other side. Like the best end of season cliff-hanger, we love the suspense AND we can barely stand it!!
PERSONAL: SO HERE I AM
So here I am,single, having had no real serious relationship lasting longer than a few months. Whilst I am very happy in my life right now, I can’t help but feel a little concerned about this attitude towards love.I love the innocence of first loves, were we got a thrill out of holding each other’s hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, yep the stuff vomit is made of. I see loved up couples every day, sometimes it makes me want to vomit, sometimes it makes me smile. Since being here I have been very open to meeting people, It was been a real adventure and I have been on several dates. Most have been pleasant (with the exception of one, which is another story for another day) but nothing has eventuated out of them. I have always gone in with an open mind, even keen just to make a friend and more often than not I get the famous line ‘let’s meet up again’ – then they disappear off the face off the earth. I have been rejected so many times that I don’t even feel anymore. It’s been a humbling and ‘get to know you’ experience.
Often when I tell people about this (people being my friends who are coupled up) they always tell me ‘Don’t worry, you’ll meet someone, you just have to stop looking’ I swear the next time I hear that… Really?! People say you don’t meet someone until you are happy with yourself. I could not be happier. Look at my life?! I have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want and it’s fan-freaking-tastic. I am more than content with my lifestyle. I love me time, jeez if I didn’t I would have been in trouble a long time ago. It’s just sometimes, sometimes after a hard day at work, or on a cold winters day it would be really nice to have someone to come home to. A certain someone to talk to or just be with. Sometimes. I am human afterall.
Now just because I have these thoughts time to time doesn’t mean I need sympathy. If there is one thing that you can do that will piss of a something-year-old single men, it is to feel sorry for them. I just haven’t met that right someone yet, but it doesn’t mean I am depressed. It’s pretty awesome the things you can do when you are single.
It’s just sometimes you get between a rock and a hard place. Yes, sometimes I wish I wasn’t single and yes sometimes I do worry about still being single later on when I get older. How could I not?! When society is reminding me every day that the clock is ticking and my beautiful friends are being told they are living life on the edge?! The best thing you can do if you are my friend, is just be my friend. Don’t give me advice about my love life unless I ask for it. I think about it enough without worrying about other peoples’ opinions or advice and even if I don’t meet someone and I spend the rest of my life single, it doesn’t mean I have been left on the shelf.
Often when I tell people about this (people being my friends who are coupled up) they always tell me ‘Don’t worry, you’ll meet someone, you just have to stop looking’ I swear the next time I hear that… Really?! People say you don’t meet someone until you are happy with yourself. I could not be happier. Look at my life?! I have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want and it’s fan-freaking-tastic. I am more than content with my lifestyle. I love me time, jeez if I didn’t I would have been in trouble a long time ago. It’s just sometimes, sometimes after a hard day at work, or on a cold winters day it would be really nice to have someone to come home to. A certain someone to talk to or just be with. Sometimes. I am human afterall.
Now just because I have these thoughts time to time doesn’t mean I need sympathy. If there is one thing that you can do that will piss of a something-year-old single men, it is to feel sorry for them. I just haven’t met that right someone yet, but it doesn’t mean I am depressed. It’s pretty awesome the things you can do when you are single.
It’s just sometimes you get between a rock and a hard place. Yes, sometimes I wish I wasn’t single and yes sometimes I do worry about still being single later on when I get older. How could I not?! When society is reminding me every day that the clock is ticking and my beautiful friends are being told they are living life on the edge?! The best thing you can do if you are my friend, is just be my friend. Don’t give me advice about my love life unless I ask for it. I think about it enough without worrying about other peoples’ opinions or advice and even if I don’t meet someone and I spend the rest of my life single, it doesn’t mean I have been left on the shelf.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
THOUGHTS; YOU ARE ALONE...PERIOD
When I decided to write this piece, I did so with the intention of helping you realize a great truth about life....beside being in a depressing mood for a while. I wanted to show you how truly alone you are in this world, and through this understanding, I wanted to show you how to truly matter.
Realize this:
You were born alone.
You will die alone.
In the end, there is nobody to blame but yourself.
Deeds are more important than flesh.
Flesh can rot.
Your heart will stop.
You are completely erasable, but your deeds will remain forever.
In the end, your actions are what people will remember you by.
And even then, for how long will you remain in their memories?
Who will think about you night and day?
Nobody.
As time moves on, even memories begin to fade.
But what you do in life echoes an eternity.
What you are about to read may transform you, or may not. It may change the way you view life, it may not.
I didn’t write this for you, though.
I wrote this for me.
Radical Honesty
We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are born alone and all men die alone.
You won’t take your friends with you to your grave.
You won’t take your parents with you to your grave.
You won’t take your lovers with you to your grave.
I will now give you some steps that you can take to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes as Janet.
Find Your Deepest Purpose
Find your greatest passion in life. This may be the hardest thing for almost everyone on the planet, but you have to do it. I can’t teach you how to find this passion in this blog post. But, what I will do is give you some signposts to watch out for.
Your passion is something sacred to you.
It is something that you would do even if you couldn’t get paid for it.
If you can find this purpose, your entire life will change. Absolutely every action you take will have a reason behind it. Everything you do will have a motive, and you will be inspired by something deep within you.
Every heart is born with a compass.
Follow it to where your bliss takes you.
Follow it to your grave.
Sure, you may feel alone on this path, but you are alone in life anyway. Why try to mask the aloneness?
If you were meant to sing, then sing.
If you were meant to write, then write.
If you were meant to dance, then dance.
Embrace yourself in the greatest honesty, and accept yourself for who you are. Why spend time with lawyers when your entire soul just wants to explode into a book that you were meant to write?
The Sense of Self
Eminem doesn’t rap for money.
Oprah doesn’t do talk shows for money.
Bill Gates gives away billions to charities.
People have a fear that if they follow what they truly love, they will become starving artists.
The truth is, we are living in a renaissance right now.
There is absolutely no reason for you not to become wealthy doing what you love.
Eminem was just some white kid from Detroit. What separated him from the rest was that he followed his dream against all odds.
Whatever you do in life, do it for yourself.
Your sense of self respect should come from yourself.
Your sense of satisfaction should come from the work you produce.
You create out of love.
You dance because of the sheer joy you get from dancing.
You write because of the sheer joy you get from putting your thoughts down on paper.
You sing because of the sheer joy you get when you can translate your emotions into powerful sounds.
It doesn’t matter what the world thinks. If they like your stuff, great. If they don’t, that’s also fine.
The truth is, nobody thinks about you night and day. You are not a constant thought on anybody’s mind.
So, why spend your life trying to do what will make others happy when they barely even think of you?
Most people die with their music still inside of them.
Don’t become a statistic.
At the end of the day, all you have is yourself.
The only person who truly cares about you is you.
The only person who can make a huge difference in your life is you.
I hate the notion of self sacrifice.
I hate that we are constantly taught over and over again that we must live for our fellow men.
That we must set aside our visions and dreams so that we may contribute to others.
I hate that we are taught that others know us better than we know ourselves.
I hate that we are constantly taught that our thoughts hold no value, and that we must obey the order of conformity.
We give up our dreams and place our lives into the hands of people who don’t even have control over their own lives.
What kind of orgy is this?
I understand that it is seen as a noble thing to put others first.
But, look at what happens when you put others first.
You end up last.
It sounds like a wonderful idea to put others first, but how can you put others first when they don’t even know what they want for themselves?
People are great time wasters, life wasters, procrastinators, nonachievers, and hesitators. Most of them will never achieve anything noteworthy in life. Most people will do what everyone else is doing because they don’t want to be seen as that “weird guy who followed his dreams and got nowhere”.
But, let me ask you something: If you were to die in six weeks, would you still do what you are doing right now?
Do not make the mistake of dying with your music still inside of yourself.
Do not become a statistic.
Nobody Cares
Nobody cares about you. Sure, you have friends, family, and loved ones who care about you in the ways that people who are close to you should; however, nobody is going to live your life for you.
Don’t expect help in life.
Don’t expect others to go out of their way to give you a nudge.
Don’t expect that the world will finally fall in love with you once you become a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer.
People will view just the same.
They may think about you from time to time as a passing thought, but that is it.
So, why compete with them?
Why try to get your sense of self respect from them?
Why reject your soul’s vision in order to please people who don’t give a damn about you?
Eliazbeth Taylor just died.
I did not care.
Brittany Murphy died.
I did not care.
Michael Jackson died.
I cared, but even then, I didn’t stop living my life. I didn’t stop pursuing my dreams. I didn’t treat life any different upon his passing.
Others may sympathize with us, they may sympathize with our journeys and sorrows, and they may get envious of us from time to time, but you have to realize the cold hard truth: You are just a passing thought in most peoples’ minds.
Your parents love you, and they want to see you succeed, but they are so afraid of you making the wrong choices in life that, many times, they make the choices for you.
But then, you are left alone to work through the life they chose for you. They won’t live it for you.
In the end, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Who cares if everyone else is getting their degrees faster than you?
Who cares if people are graduating college two years earlier?
Who cares if your best friend just landed a lucrative job?
The fact is that most people are unhappy with their careers, and they only stick around because they have bills to pay.
If it takes you an extra three years to graduate college, then let it happen. Honestly, at the end of the day, nobody will really care about how long it took for you to graduate anyway. NOBODY cares.
If you are working at a job you hate, nobody cares about how much you hate that job. If your job brings you respect, all you are getting is 15 seconds (not even minutes) of fame, because most people will not think much about you in forms other than a passing thought.
If you set your life up to please others, you will be pleasing nobody. Nobody will care.
You’re only fooling yourself.
Don’t become a statistic.
Money
You might be wondering about money.
“Sure, going after your dreams is all fine and dandy, but I have bills to pay and mouths to feed. What about that?”
If you live this type of lifestyle, you’re going to get drained. This mentality will pass onto your children, and you will live a very unhappy lifestyle.
There are COUNTLESS books, audios, DVD’s, and Seminars on how to make massive income doing what you love. I won’t go into the details here, but if you do need some guidance, I suggest that you read the following books:
1. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
2. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
3. The Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard
I want to stress to you that money is just a result, and it is a fantastic result. You DESERVE to get paid handsomely for what you do in life. But, the thing you must watch out for is whether or not what you are doing makes you happy.
Russell Simmons talks about rappers and cars in his book Do You! New musicians experience this all the time. They spend their first paycheck on a car that costs a half million dollars. Once they park the car, they realize that all the happiness is gone. They realize that they just bought a piece of metal.
In every walk of life, the richest people begin to say that the money never brings lasting happiness. What brings lasting happiness is the journey.
Do what you love.
Do it for yourself.
The money will come if you understand how to market your passions.
The greatest thing you can do in life is to follow your bliss and get paid for it handsomely.
At the end of the day, nobody even cares about what’s in your bank account.
He’s always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it’s just corn flakes. – Morty, Click (2006)
When you constantly chase dollar signs, you’re missing out on the most important things in life. You’re missing out on your dreams. You’re missing out on your soul. You’re missing out on the things that make you human, that make you unique, that make you special.
I remember reading a quote one day that really made me think. It said, “Life is neither the candle nor the flame. It is the burning.”
Money will not buy you happiness.
Friends will not buy you happiness.
Respect will not buy you happiness.
Following your dreams is the only way to true happiness. And when you follow your dreams, the best money, the best friends, and the best respect will come to you as a byproduct. I would rather be respected for what I love than be respected for what I despise.
Money is just an effect, not a cause.
Money is wonderful, and you can make LOTS of it. But, at the end of the day, your life is all about service.
Service
Your passion was never meant to be kept inside. It was supposed to be unleashed into the world through a smattering of love and an explosion that sets hearts on fire.
The truest happiness comes in the form of giving. The greatest giving comes in the form of an embodiment of your highest values, your highest sense of self, your highest virtues, and your deepest dreams.
Desire is the faculty through which your service may be of value to another man.
At the end of your life, people will remember you for the music you left behind.
They will remember you for the results you were able to produce in others’ lives.
I remember Charles Dickens because he left behind 3 ghosts.
I remember Ayn Rand because she left behind a fountain and an atlas.
I remember Dr. King because he left behind a dream.
People will follow you for your dreams as well, if only you would dare to dream them.
The greatest happiness comes from putting your entire soul into something you believe in and then seeing that thing manifest into concrete form.
You put your soul into something that others can finally hold.
That is the most beautiful thing you can do. In life, you have to do great things. But those great things are not great because others define them as great; they are great because they are truly unique things that nobody else could bestow upon the universe but you.
[I need to] find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter.- John Nash, A Beautiful Mind
On Love
When it comes to marriage, do not settle for anyone less than the person whom embodies your greatest beliefs, moralities, and visions. The person is not someone who will have the same purpose as you, but he or she must have the same ideals.
You need to be with someone who harmonizes with your dreams.
Finding this type of love is beyond the scope of this article.
But, realize that who you marry can have a drastic effect on your life.
The person you end up with must reflect your highest virtues.
Never settle at any step of your life.
Don’t marry someone based solely on looks or money alone. These are very important traits, but what matters most is the soul.
The Virtue of Solitude
You were born alone.
You will die alone.
The person you marry must reflect your highest sense of values.
The job you undertake must be one that is a projection of your dreams.
Your greatest sense of happiness comes from an act of service that embodies your dreams.
You can get paid handsomely for following your bliss if you market yourself correctly.
Nobody truly cares about your life as much as you do.
Nobody will live your life for you.
Do not live your life for them.
Do not sacrifice your soul’s bliss in order to follow the advice of a fool who knows not a thing about you, let alone a thing about himself.
You will be forgotten.
Your flesh will decay.
All that remains are the actions you took, the services you rendered, and the masterpieces you created.
When you set out to accomplish something, you do it.
Do not care about how much time it may or may not take you.
Even if it takes years, dedicate yourself to the task at hand.
It’s the only way you will ever really matter.
Do not die with your music still inside of you.
We’re all meant to wake up some day.
Do not let that day be on your death bed.
Realize this:
You were born alone.
You will die alone.
In the end, there is nobody to blame but yourself.
Deeds are more important than flesh.
Flesh can rot.
Your heart will stop.
You are completely erasable, but your deeds will remain forever.
In the end, your actions are what people will remember you by.
And even then, for how long will you remain in their memories?
Who will think about you night and day?
Nobody.
As time moves on, even memories begin to fade.
But what you do in life echoes an eternity.
What you are about to read may transform you, or may not. It may change the way you view life, it may not.
I didn’t write this for you, though.
I wrote this for me.
Radical Honesty
We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are born alone and all men die alone.
You won’t take your friends with you to your grave.
You won’t take your parents with you to your grave.
You won’t take your lovers with you to your grave.
I will now give you some steps that you can take to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes as Janet.
Find Your Deepest Purpose
Find your greatest passion in life. This may be the hardest thing for almost everyone on the planet, but you have to do it. I can’t teach you how to find this passion in this blog post. But, what I will do is give you some signposts to watch out for.
Your passion is something sacred to you.
It is something that you would do even if you couldn’t get paid for it.
If you can find this purpose, your entire life will change. Absolutely every action you take will have a reason behind it. Everything you do will have a motive, and you will be inspired by something deep within you.
Every heart is born with a compass.
Follow it to where your bliss takes you.
Follow it to your grave.
Sure, you may feel alone on this path, but you are alone in life anyway. Why try to mask the aloneness?
If you were meant to sing, then sing.
If you were meant to write, then write.
If you were meant to dance, then dance.
Embrace yourself in the greatest honesty, and accept yourself for who you are. Why spend time with lawyers when your entire soul just wants to explode into a book that you were meant to write?
The Sense of Self
Eminem doesn’t rap for money.
Oprah doesn’t do talk shows for money.
Bill Gates gives away billions to charities.
People have a fear that if they follow what they truly love, they will become starving artists.
The truth is, we are living in a renaissance right now.
There is absolutely no reason for you not to become wealthy doing what you love.
Eminem was just some white kid from Detroit. What separated him from the rest was that he followed his dream against all odds.
Whatever you do in life, do it for yourself.
Your sense of self respect should come from yourself.
Your sense of satisfaction should come from the work you produce.
You create out of love.
You dance because of the sheer joy you get from dancing.
You write because of the sheer joy you get from putting your thoughts down on paper.
You sing because of the sheer joy you get when you can translate your emotions into powerful sounds.
It doesn’t matter what the world thinks. If they like your stuff, great. If they don’t, that’s also fine.
The truth is, nobody thinks about you night and day. You are not a constant thought on anybody’s mind.
So, why spend your life trying to do what will make others happy when they barely even think of you?
Most people die with their music still inside of them.
Don’t become a statistic.
At the end of the day, all you have is yourself.
The only person who truly cares about you is you.
The only person who can make a huge difference in your life is you.
I hate the notion of self sacrifice.
I hate that we are constantly taught over and over again that we must live for our fellow men.
That we must set aside our visions and dreams so that we may contribute to others.
I hate that we are taught that others know us better than we know ourselves.
I hate that we are constantly taught that our thoughts hold no value, and that we must obey the order of conformity.
We give up our dreams and place our lives into the hands of people who don’t even have control over their own lives.
What kind of orgy is this?
I understand that it is seen as a noble thing to put others first.
But, look at what happens when you put others first.
You end up last.
It sounds like a wonderful idea to put others first, but how can you put others first when they don’t even know what they want for themselves?
People are great time wasters, life wasters, procrastinators, nonachievers, and hesitators. Most of them will never achieve anything noteworthy in life. Most people will do what everyone else is doing because they don’t want to be seen as that “weird guy who followed his dreams and got nowhere”.
But, let me ask you something: If you were to die in six weeks, would you still do what you are doing right now?
Do not make the mistake of dying with your music still inside of yourself.
Do not become a statistic.
Nobody Cares
Nobody cares about you. Sure, you have friends, family, and loved ones who care about you in the ways that people who are close to you should; however, nobody is going to live your life for you.
Don’t expect help in life.
Don’t expect others to go out of their way to give you a nudge.
Don’t expect that the world will finally fall in love with you once you become a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer.
People will view just the same.
They may think about you from time to time as a passing thought, but that is it.
So, why compete with them?
Why try to get your sense of self respect from them?
Why reject your soul’s vision in order to please people who don’t give a damn about you?
Eliazbeth Taylor just died.
I did not care.
Brittany Murphy died.
I did not care.
Michael Jackson died.
I cared, but even then, I didn’t stop living my life. I didn’t stop pursuing my dreams. I didn’t treat life any different upon his passing.
Others may sympathize with us, they may sympathize with our journeys and sorrows, and they may get envious of us from time to time, but you have to realize the cold hard truth: You are just a passing thought in most peoples’ minds.
Your parents love you, and they want to see you succeed, but they are so afraid of you making the wrong choices in life that, many times, they make the choices for you.
But then, you are left alone to work through the life they chose for you. They won’t live it for you.
In the end, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Who cares if everyone else is getting their degrees faster than you?
Who cares if people are graduating college two years earlier?
Who cares if your best friend just landed a lucrative job?
The fact is that most people are unhappy with their careers, and they only stick around because they have bills to pay.
If it takes you an extra three years to graduate college, then let it happen. Honestly, at the end of the day, nobody will really care about how long it took for you to graduate anyway. NOBODY cares.
If you are working at a job you hate, nobody cares about how much you hate that job. If your job brings you respect, all you are getting is 15 seconds (not even minutes) of fame, because most people will not think much about you in forms other than a passing thought.
If you set your life up to please others, you will be pleasing nobody. Nobody will care.
You’re only fooling yourself.
Don’t become a statistic.
Money
You might be wondering about money.
“Sure, going after your dreams is all fine and dandy, but I have bills to pay and mouths to feed. What about that?”
If you live this type of lifestyle, you’re going to get drained. This mentality will pass onto your children, and you will live a very unhappy lifestyle.
There are COUNTLESS books, audios, DVD’s, and Seminars on how to make massive income doing what you love. I won’t go into the details here, but if you do need some guidance, I suggest that you read the following books:
1. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
2. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
3. The Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard
I want to stress to you that money is just a result, and it is a fantastic result. You DESERVE to get paid handsomely for what you do in life. But, the thing you must watch out for is whether or not what you are doing makes you happy.
Russell Simmons talks about rappers and cars in his book Do You! New musicians experience this all the time. They spend their first paycheck on a car that costs a half million dollars. Once they park the car, they realize that all the happiness is gone. They realize that they just bought a piece of metal.
In every walk of life, the richest people begin to say that the money never brings lasting happiness. What brings lasting happiness is the journey.
Do what you love.
Do it for yourself.
The money will come if you understand how to market your passions.
The greatest thing you can do in life is to follow your bliss and get paid for it handsomely.
At the end of the day, nobody even cares about what’s in your bank account.
He’s always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it’s just corn flakes. – Morty, Click (2006)
When you constantly chase dollar signs, you’re missing out on the most important things in life. You’re missing out on your dreams. You’re missing out on your soul. You’re missing out on the things that make you human, that make you unique, that make you special.
I remember reading a quote one day that really made me think. It said, “Life is neither the candle nor the flame. It is the burning.”
Money will not buy you happiness.
Friends will not buy you happiness.
Respect will not buy you happiness.
Following your dreams is the only way to true happiness. And when you follow your dreams, the best money, the best friends, and the best respect will come to you as a byproduct. I would rather be respected for what I love than be respected for what I despise.
Money is just an effect, not a cause.
Money is wonderful, and you can make LOTS of it. But, at the end of the day, your life is all about service.
Service
Your passion was never meant to be kept inside. It was supposed to be unleashed into the world through a smattering of love and an explosion that sets hearts on fire.
The truest happiness comes in the form of giving. The greatest giving comes in the form of an embodiment of your highest values, your highest sense of self, your highest virtues, and your deepest dreams.
Desire is the faculty through which your service may be of value to another man.
At the end of your life, people will remember you for the music you left behind.
They will remember you for the results you were able to produce in others’ lives.
I remember Charles Dickens because he left behind 3 ghosts.
I remember Ayn Rand because she left behind a fountain and an atlas.
I remember Dr. King because he left behind a dream.
People will follow you for your dreams as well, if only you would dare to dream them.
The greatest happiness comes from putting your entire soul into something you believe in and then seeing that thing manifest into concrete form.
You put your soul into something that others can finally hold.
That is the most beautiful thing you can do. In life, you have to do great things. But those great things are not great because others define them as great; they are great because they are truly unique things that nobody else could bestow upon the universe but you.
[I need to] find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter.- John Nash, A Beautiful Mind
On Love
When it comes to marriage, do not settle for anyone less than the person whom embodies your greatest beliefs, moralities, and visions. The person is not someone who will have the same purpose as you, but he or she must have the same ideals.
You need to be with someone who harmonizes with your dreams.
Finding this type of love is beyond the scope of this article.
But, realize that who you marry can have a drastic effect on your life.
The person you end up with must reflect your highest virtues.
Never settle at any step of your life.
Don’t marry someone based solely on looks or money alone. These are very important traits, but what matters most is the soul.
The Virtue of Solitude
You were born alone.
You will die alone.
The person you marry must reflect your highest sense of values.
The job you undertake must be one that is a projection of your dreams.
Your greatest sense of happiness comes from an act of service that embodies your dreams.
You can get paid handsomely for following your bliss if you market yourself correctly.
Nobody truly cares about your life as much as you do.
Nobody will live your life for you.
Do not live your life for them.
Do not sacrifice your soul’s bliss in order to follow the advice of a fool who knows not a thing about you, let alone a thing about himself.
You will be forgotten.
Your flesh will decay.
All that remains are the actions you took, the services you rendered, and the masterpieces you created.
When you set out to accomplish something, you do it.
Do not care about how much time it may or may not take you.
Even if it takes years, dedicate yourself to the task at hand.
It’s the only way you will ever really matter.
Do not die with your music still inside of you.
We’re all meant to wake up some day.
Do not let that day be on your death bed.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)